Vincennes Gazette, Volume 3, Number 25, Vincennes, Knox County, 30 November 1833 — Page 4

A IMiCODV. These txirlsare a llpetmg show, Fr rmn's illusion eivcn ; Their smiles of their v. tear cf woe, Deceitful shine, deceitful ll.w, There's not one true m seven. And fle the flesh of hcauty's eye; As failing hue of even And 1 .vc, and laughter, all's a !io; And hope's awakened but to die: There's not one true in seven. Poor mushroom? of a stormy !ay ! Yoi bloom and be forgiven For Fife s at be-t a dream a w ay Dell, drowsy thought I'll join the gay, And romp wi'h all Hie seven.

ANSWER TO V PARODY. Ou' men! you're all a fleeting show, For our amusement given, Your smiles mid tars are falo, we know; Though at our will they shine and jlov y We trud not one in seven. The seeming worth in which you plume, Fades like the hues of even, The mask uf kindness you assunie, And f imily hide your real glooru There's not one good in seven. Poor wanderers through life's changing day ! From fair to fair you're driven, A while we tLrt the hours away, And when we're tin d , 'lis but to say, Good bye, 3 our chain is riven VARIATION t F HIE LAST VERSE. Poor Creatures.' - Yet, when on our way, liy accident in re driven; We light your Markups with a rajA ray " f hope and kindly say. Go, wretches! ou're forgiven From the Cincinnati Republican. OLD Mas. ;kwi?. OKI Mrs Grimos is living still, A w idow still is site; the wears a neat old fashioned frock, A neater ne'er can be. fche's blct at home nor seks abroad The candals of the town; There's not enough put in her sleeves To make another gown. AWinujdi she's poor, the needy poor'?, Hnrd wants she will appease: Herd: ecs it never drags the ground, Nor sets above her knee?, She every Sunday goes to church, Nor sleeps, nor chatters 'Ju re; lies cap? ate of the plainest kinJ, txne one for Sunday's wear. She oftm Fays "she hope above, To meet her husband dear;" She rents a lot at fifteen pounds, ? And pays it every year. Sb always was industrious, And rises now betimes; Ehe's c died bv all the neighbour? round. Good Old Mrs. Grimes ' W. S. AN ADYFATl lir.

rnANSLATFD-Fr.OM THE FRENCH.

ably. 1 know not what answer I tnanc to it- for u cold sweat had over-shadowed mv forehead. According to my usual praiseworthy cuaiorn, I had rcuised over the lady's bed with my eve?, and upon the embroidered muslin that covered it, I had seen numerous drops of l.dood ! Strange suspicion availed me. The liour the horde's? fall might h ive heen a trick; unceremonious conduct of my en lerlaincr: her invitation up btairs blood ail the-p takon in connexion made mp extremely uneasv ; hut judge my feeling" when a moment I iter I saw the hilt ot a dagger pepping m fiorothe pillow. I started up 1 w pale no doubt: for the lady looked at me with alarm. What i the matter Sir? asked she. 'Nothing, Madame, nothing' 'You appear to be violently affected, are you unwell? Shall 1 nng for Thomas? we can soon prepaie you a bed.' 'Nothing ail? me. I assure vou. But it is getting late, and I lear my friends will be uneasy at my absence. 1 must beg vour permission to retire' l cannot allow y ou to go in such a state.' She had Feized lhe hell cord. 1 would not puffer her to ring. 'You must lake a lew drops of ether at all events ' Saying this she ran to the door of her dressing-room: the lig'-t penetrated into it; oh horrible! a tnan's head hanging by the hair met my gaze! my knee? give way, and I fell back upon my seat; the lady returned with a vial

Passing suddenly fiom lelharg) to a state of despair. 'Let me fly, cried I furiously, 'No I mil receive nothing at your hands. Is this the reward of the service I rendered you?' These words produced a magic effect. The lady rang. Thomas appeared, hut no order was given i.im V tj were all three mue with sin prise Thomas at last broke silence. 'Did you img for me, Madame V 'Show the gentleman 'iiJ ' I gave no time to tepeat the order, in two jump9 I wa. out of the house the old servant was at mv heels, nut the keen

night air cooled my agitation and I stopped a moment to breathe freely . 'Wietrh, w hai is vour inistrege' name?' 'Miss ' 'It 19 well. I shall complain of her. 'Sir?' '1 shall immediately go to the police office.' 'IVhy so Sit?' 'To have her taken up for murder the proofs are ample ' l don't understand you Sir?' 'Ol what profession 19 your mistres?' 'She is an actress.! What means the blood upon her bed?1 'You are under a mistake Sir. You no doubt saw some tulip leaves that Mis scattered there this morning.'

'And the dagger under hei pillow

'My mistress has several; she was to j-( in it's you '

'Yctir uncle Josh? do how should 1 kuow him?' Don't you know my uncle Josh? 'No.' 'Then you'r a greater fool than I Why I know him jest as well, as wel! as I know the wav to our barn "What have you got in your tubs?" asked another one 'Mud haw! haw! haw! nothin' but mud; shall I show it you?" 'No, 1 dou't want to see any of your mud .' Well, you need'nl speak so cros3 about it. That's none o' your common mudit's rale Connecticut; look here?' "Mud do you call this?" said the marketman. "Hale Connecticut mud,1 said the Yankee, with a foolish grin. 'Whv this is honev.' said another.

'Say'nothing about it,' said the marketman aside, 'and Til get a bargain out ot the fellow. Then, speaking to the apparent fool, he asked what he would take for his mud. Why, I don't know,' said the fellow lolling out his tongue, and looking with a vacant stare about him. 'Don't know! what do you come here for then?' 'Why, I come to 'stonish the Yorkers, that's all haw! haw! haw! 'You do astonish them, sure enough. But what'll you take for yoar mud?' I don't know I'll take a shilliu' a pound may be.' 'A shilling a pound for mud? why that'i

a pretty price. c can get it here in ine street for nothing and get paid for carry

ing it away in the bargain.

'Hut it aiot like our Connecticut mud though ' 'A'e all your tubs filled with this kind of mud ?' 'Why yes,'' said the Yankee, carelessly uncovering them, 'they're all chuck full o' mud.' 'What1!! you take for the whole lump?" 'Five "hundred dollars. Haw! haw! haw ! haw !'

'Oh, nonsense!' said the market-man, dipping his finger into the honey, tasting

truui each of the tubs and smacking his lips in anticipation of the bargain he was going to make believing the whole to be pure honey, and that he had a fool to deal with, he at first offered twenty dollars for the lot. 'Four hundred,' said the owner, 'give me four hundred dollars," and the mud is all your'n, tubs and all, by hoky.' 'No, I'll give you fifty,' said the dealer in marketable?, 'Three hundred,' said the Yankee, 'and it's all jour'n, tuba and all, by gings' 'I won't give you a cent over seventyfive.' Haw! haw! haw! then you ma) have ii for two hundred.' 'I don't care if I give you one for old acquaintance sake.' 'ilavv! haw! haw! well, take it then,

Hut, my lord, the farmers and the corn chandleis refuse to supply me any more till their accounts are discharged. Ah? that alter3 the matter, quoth the Prince, very gravely. But, your highnes's, what shall the hor. ses have? Have! call the steward. The steward annears. So the corn

chandler and the farmer refuse us credit the rascals do they? said the Prince. Yes, my lord, replied the steward . j Humph! who does give us credit? ' No one! your highness. No one! Yes, now 1 think of it, my lord, the pastry cook does. Honest fellow, we must encourage him! cries the Prince. Coachman, your affair is settled give the horses cheese cakes and custards.

THE MOST EMINENT PUBLICATION THAT CAN EMANATE FROM THE l'RESS. THE GALAXY O V COMICALITIES OR SHORT STORIES WELL TOLD. To be Embellished during the year with One Hun deed and Fifty Comic and Humorous Cuts. THE subscribers issue on Wednesday he 2nd of October lb33, the first Dumber of an entirely new, amusing and highly interesting work, to be entitled THE GALAXY OF COMICALITIES, OR SHORT STORIES WELL TOLD. In offering to the public a new paper, when there are so many ut present, it becomes us to say a word or two relative to the peculiar qualities it will po-sess. In the first place we intend to strike out an entire new and original course. We will not follow the state path of any cotemporary Journal, but depending on our own resources, and ilio mvors of a number of valued correspondent?.

t j ...w.,! cAmnthino unrlhv of nnlrnnjira

course of an examination before the com-jj theEmica of the public. As our title indimittee on the factory bill, the folbiwingates -pi,e Galaxy is intended as a source of sensible question was put to a witness nam- Lure at.d cheerine amusement to drive a wrined Peter Smart, the overseer of a factory iklc from the brow of care-to ease the woeat Dundee, to which heeave the followingno be-rt of a po

to nunc me iuir iuue ui ucomj mm .. "-'

Sensible Anszvcr! It is said that in the

hich he ga

equally sensible reply: Q When do your girls marry? A. Whenever ihey can get an ojfer.

To the Afflicted We are enabled to announce to the public, that there is a hoarding house in this city where the peo pie never die for as soon as they are iaken sick, they are turned out of doors Host. Morn. Post.

A well known wag, coming up William street a day or two since, nnd observing on a sijjn in the window of a doll manufactory, "Fancy

Dolls and Little Children made here," i in mediately walked in and inquired if they wanted a Journcyma.nl

The rlorU of Notre Dame w as just 'el-fhad rejected.'

appear with one to-day; she made a selec

tion, and the one you saw piobahly sue

licg midnight 1 was hastening home to

lay hotel in thft Subuib St Germaiue; when I crossed the point Nmt, a horse, driven rapidly io a gig, stumbled and fell, spaiks of tire flew m all directions, ftom the violence of the fall, and a scream of alarm in a female voice, issued from Ihe ioterior of the caniage I hastened to yield my assistance, and arrived very seasonably, for the driver teckless of every thing el-e, had rushed to bis horse's head and vainly endeaored to get the animal, which was dangerously hurt, upon hi? leg ngin. The lady had fainted . I took her out in my arms, and seated her on the side walk As fear had been the principal cause of her swooning1, she soon opened her eyes; her senses returned, and in a .sweet and trembling voice, she thanked me for the kindness I had shewn her 4You will permit me Madame,' said I, 'to complete the good woik begun by so hap

py a chance: you certainly will not refuse

me the pleaaure ot seeing you safely home

'I am sorry to give you so much trouble,

Sir, but 1 accept your invitation thank

fully: rny abode is not far from this I shall not detaiu you a mr.meut.' What number Madame?' Forty.' We were there io a lew minutes. I wa retiring 'Not yet,' fa id the lady, you must not refuse some slight refreshment. ' There was so much kindness in these few word that I could not refrain accept ing the invitation more particularly as the stranger was very beautiful. We

therefore entered, an old servant opening

the door.

'1 shall treat you without ceremony sir, nnd receive you into my bedroom, it is

tine 'lately too cold in the parlor.' Now I never entered a bed-room, especially a young lady's without delightful

emotion. I always identify myself with the divinity when eo near its altar, and consequently the sight of a tine bed, the mysienes of which set my imaginations

at woik, goes right to niy heart. UetVfjdmietiti ere serred up: the lady and tr.se!f sealed ourselves at a maible tabled The conversation of course turned

upon the accident to which she had so!

nearlv fallen a victim. 'Do you feel any pain, Madame?' I ask cd, .Not the slightest Sir, flight madt me faint bui 1 am now perfectly well.' 'Then I rhall always blfss the occur

rence that produced uic the happiness of

your acquaintance . Theie was really something romantic ta this a iven'uie. Don't ynu think so. This singular question, ulthuugh very eimplc w itself, embatrasscd meconsider-

'But the man's head in the dresring-

rooui?' 'It was no doubt one of her wigs; you must have seen it from bchmd ' I in effect waited on Mi?s the next day in the green loom 1 told her my ridiculous tenors, and ihey made us both laugh hearty and lung. In snorf the confequences of this acquaintance were wotthy of the manner m which :hey were formed, and Miss is now my wile V Y Constel.

Front the At it- Yoitc Constellation. TIIL JILD PEDLAK AMvEE

TEKl'iUSU.

Some yeais ago, u cute fe

low, in Con

necticut, had a few p- uuds of honey to sell on which he was desnous of making a large sum of money. But how todo it, that was the question. He resolved the matter in his mind some days, and at last hit upon the following txpedieijt. 'He look a number of tubs, of the kind used for packing butter, which are Mnallest at

Ihe upper end These he til ted nearly lull of mud, from a neighboring ditch.

leaving, however, space enough tor a thin covering of honey. With these tie embarked for New York, where he exposed bis goods in the market. He aked nobody to purchase; but took care both bv his dress and behavior to appear very much like a fool. 'What have you got in these tubs!' said a man to him.

'Why nothin but mud,' said the Yankee,

rolling up his eyes aud lolling om hi tongue like an idiot.

T.ludl said the man, "what do you do with mud here You've come to the wrong market with it fellow. We have

mud enough here of our own in this city.'

'Yes, but it ami sitch mud a9 we have in Connecticut though,' said the pretend

eil fool, 'I fetched this all the way from Connecticut. Jest look at it, and see how nice 'tis ' 'I'ox take your mud,' said the man, 'I

don't want to see it. And he went htf

w ay . 'Why, the fellow's a fo d,' said a bj slander, 'lo letch mud here.'

'Nol's you know on,' said the Yankee, putting on a more solid appearance than

ever. 'I m the cutesl ieller, every body

allows in all our town haw 1 haw 1 oaw !

youu have togttupeaily to cheat me,

that you will haw! haw ! haw! "Wnai's. your lalle;,'' said another.

'My name! What's it to you whe hei

I've g"t a name or no I won't tell vou nothin' about it won't I tags. My nauie is Tommy Doodle, aud my uncle's name is Joshua Daodle. Do vou Liow toy uncle Josh? eh!'

Hie money was presently paid over,

and each party was pleased with the bar gun the New Yorker, that he cheated the foolish Yankee and the cute Yankee,

that he had over

ei But it such w

lion, it did not con'inue long, for the market man soon discoveied the cheat. He snore, and raved, and tore, like a mad rnao; but this not mending the matter he went in pursuit of the Yankee, whom he found fitting snug by his fireside. "What the devil did you mean,1 said he, by cheating me so in lhat honey !' Honey?' said the Yankee, who by thi6 time had thrown off his stolid appearance, l sold you no honey.' 'The devil you did'nt, said the New Yorker; 'what did I pay you a hundred dollais for?' 'Mud, nothing but mud,' returned the Yankee, 'and it's your owo fault that you

would'nt take my word for it. I told you

ENIGMA. Though heaven's my chief abiding place, I dwell with nil the lower race, And as the earth revolves around, I r.m by every creature found I have been sought for in the ocean, As well as in the land of Goshen Beast, Bird, and fish, who're in my train, Pursues me with like ceaseless aim. In short, the whole animate creation Hold me in highest estimation All shapes and colors I assume, I pro ui 1 1 the plough an 1 drive the loom; And in every article of trade, I show the end for which 'twas made.

al smile to make youth laugh and age fare go a frown, will be our chief endeavor, and in short With mirth and humor drive dull care away, And mako this life an ever smiling day. The contents ftf the Galaxy, will consist of short humorous stories, anecdotes, conundrums, comic songs, poetry, Sec. and will afford to the render a rich fund of original reading, calculated to raise a laugh, and yield the most innocent delight. It will be published every Saturday, on a respectable size sheet at the exceeding low price of One Dollar and twenty fie cents per annum ; or five copies for Five Dollars, payable in all cases in advance. Tost masters are requested

to act hs agents for the above work.

Editors of newspapers are requested lo c;ivo

the above a few insertions, and they shall be en

titled toao exchange.

All letters and orders post paid, must bead-

dressed to,

LbsHEK k bIJrXLY, No. 303 Callowhili st. I'hilad'a. PROPOSALS FOR EXTEiDlMG THE CIRCCLATIOJJ OF THE grtiomsoutau iiccordcr.

'twas nothing but mud.

Salting Do?s:n a Corpse. About threr

years ago, two young farmers called upon

an English clergyman, and after their ac

customed obeisance, the following dialogue took place betwixt them: Farmer

Your Reverence, zir, when would it be

convenient for you to cum and berry fey

ther? Parson. Convenient to bury your

father! When did he die then? Farm

er. Why, zir, about three month? agone.

Parson. Dead three months since, and I not know it? and not yet buried; how'i this? Farmer. Why, zir, we had'nt time you may depend Parson. What! no time to bury your father! Farmer No, zir, 'fuere harvest time, and we weie busy, the hosses and all. Parson How did you keep him? Farmer. Why, zir, I do hope you'll not be angry, but when

reached the NeW.Yoik-fe'lhef,d,ed n,olhf. I'ut "a wl)ite 6,rlwas thv mutual sat.sfac am 8et fn VP " chimmer; and mother

put a nuu oi sajt in his mouth, and a nub

or two in his eyes, aud he kept very well;

for feyther war a main spare man So maister Trewern, our tailor, corned in 'to'her da), and he Zays, "Well, how's maister then?" "Oh," said mother, "he's, up iu chimmer " So maister Trewern wenl up id chimmer, and when he went up cloi-e to fevlher, iu zeed 'en dead in

his white shirt, uDd the nub of salt, iu his

mouhand eyes; he were frightened, and he gee'd a jump back, and hitched his foot in a hole in the planchingj which drowed 'en down, and broke his aim; and eo mother said she wou'nd't keep fey ther auy longer, and sent Will and I over

to know when it would be convenient for

you lo cum ami beiry feyther.

Chamber.

t Floor.

WHAT'S THIS! It's like a ghost; Like an unruly horse; Like the bite of a mad dog; Like the willo th' wisp; Like a beacon; Like wiue; Like a prison ; Like a sword ; Like sugar; Like pepper; Like salt: Like a potato ; Like the devil ; and Like heaven. SOLCTION TO THE ABOVE IS LOVE. Love is like a ghost because it is never seen touched, or understood, but often talked about

Like an unruly horse because it often runs

away with its possesor, and it is uot easily managed.

lake the bite of a mad dog it makes men

mad.

Like a will o' th' wisp it leadsmen into diffi

culties .

Like a beacon it directs to the wished-for iort Like wine it makes us heedless of conse-

prison it confines a man to one

a sword it often kills those against

qiicnces.

Like a

point.

Like

whom it is turned. Like sug-u it is sweetLike pepper it burns. Like salt it is reli'lunsr.

Like a potato becmi e it is best warm. Like the devil because it torments us; aud Like Heaven it is the source of bliss.

"Landlord," said a wayfaring Paddy

who was travelling from one section to another of the canal, a few days since, iu

search of employment "Landlord, and,

what uo you charge tor u warm breakfast

tor two?" Fifty cents.' 'And what do we git, then?t Coffee, chickens, beef steak, and on ions.'

'And what'll ye charge for a cowld

one." 'A levy a piece 'And what do you give for that!' 'Why cold eggs, meat, and potatoes.' 'Well, give us a cowld one.'

The cold breakfast was provided and

Paddy and his compauioo commenced paying a tax which had been due to their stomachs for twenty -four houis. One of

them seized an egg, and on breaking the shell, discovered a little chick, as well cooked as could be wished. 'Down with it, quick ye devil ye,' exclaimed his com panion, "before the landlord comes in, or he'll charge ye for a chicken break fast.'

now propose, and are engaged in the Tf commencement of, a second volume of this work, which will be much improved in size aud typographical appearance The object of the publishers in undertaking' thiis work, is to diffuse a correct knowledge of the Ihomsoman Ststesi and Practice or .ViKiuciAt, among the public generally, so fur ris a just regard to Dr. Thomsos's rights justify ; aud to greater matters of fact, ot every description, that have a bearing upon the subject, and spread them before the public. It is deemed necessary that such a work should be published,

lor the purpose ot putting the public generally, and the friends of the syf-tem particularly, in possession of the. facts touching this concern thereby enabling them to correct some few of the many false reports and misreprCEeutations by v hich individuals and the public are continually abused. The patronage already received appears to warrant the publishers iu making their present effort to improve aud enlarge the work.

Our friends are requested to use their best endeavors to extend the circulation of the Recor

der. Renewed exeitions will be made bv the

publishers, and by the Senior Editor, to improve its usefulness, and merit an increase of public patronage, and to remunerate the wide circle of those valued friends by whose zeal and liberality

it has so far received such distinguished support.

JAR VIS PIKE, Sz Co. General 1?cnts for Dr. S. Thomson. Columbus, 0(io, ScjilcmberlQ, lf.3'J.

Or Gems, of Literature, Wit,

and Sentiment.

Issued monthly, each number containing fortycii;ht royal octavo pages, embellished with fine engravings fin steel, copper, and wood, and with new aud fashionable music forming u volume ot near 600 pages at the close of the year, with an engraved title page and iudes.

The Prince of Cutui was embarrassed for want of money would to heaven that the want were confined to the Prince of Conti! People leiused any longer to tiust him. His oachman came to his highness

one morningf

The horses, my lord, waut hay and

corn

Give Ibcta hay and corn then, said the

Piince.

A Sailor's Will. I wish my executor

to pay (out of the money first collected.)

to my beloved wife, Sarah, it living, one shilling which 1 give as a token of love that 6he may buy hazel nute, a9 I know

-he is better pleased with cracking them than she is with mending holes in hei stockings.

Our female friends may feel somewhat nervously interested in learning that the

besl poison discovered tor decoying ami deslroying flies, is Souchong lea sweetened with siigar.

riMHE preceding volumes of the CASB KEF, sufficiently prove the punctuality of the publisher in fulfillinz his contracts with his patrons, as regards its contents and eobellishraents, and are sufficient, with those at all acquainted with the work, to show its true character. The constantly increasing patronage bestowed upon the CAfcKET, has enabled the publisher to add considerably to its valuo. Its topographical appearance is equal to any American periodical, and the volume commenced with January, 1833, as regards its appearance, quantity and quality of its embellishments, literary content?, i'cc, will render it the cheapest periodical of its kind in the country. The facilities for obtaining good matter for tlie work, have greatly increased of late. Many of the best European Magazines, as well as tho best American periodicals, are regularly received for the especial use of the C AbKET. feelcctions from all are made with gteat care. To secure original contributions of talent, and to diversity our pages, the publisher has paid one hundred dollars for a Prize Talc, together with liberal sums for the best Poem and Essay, all of

which appeared in the ISo. for r ebruary, lbbJ. The publisher believes that no other work contains such a profusiou and variety of embellishments. The subjects of the engravings will consist, as heretofore, of Portraits of distinguished individuals; plates of the New fashions, both of Europe and America: striking and interesting views of American Scenery; Natural History; Foreign and Domestic Architecture; and other subjerts that may be calculated to interest and amuse Careful attention i paid to Poetry, Anecdote Light Reading, Amusing Sketches, and those etceteras, which so delightfully relieve the mind

from the labor of severe study, rt freshing tbe un

derstanding, and giving a zest to graver and more

important compositions. The price of tho Casket, notwithstanding the many improvements made in all its departments, will not be increased. When paid in advance, it will be furnished for $"2,50 a year, or 3, if not paid until the end ot the year. Gentlemen at a distance remitting six subscriptions, are entitled to a copy cratis, and ten percent, for collections. Complete sets for lb2R, IS.'O, 1S30, 1S31, and 132, can be supplied to order. S. C. A'IKINSON, No. 12, Hudson's Alley, ttjiladth h' , Oct. &th, lgl?