Indianapolis Journal, Volume 1, Number 136, Indianapolis, Marion County, 27 February 1872 — Page 2

THE EVENING JOURNAL: INDIANAPOLIS, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1872.

EVENING JOURNAL. jMarket Street and Circle. INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL COMPANY, PROPRIETORS.

INDIANAPOLIS. TUESDAY. FEB. 27. 1872. TERMS: Single copies, per week, delivered by carrier,. . . $ 10 'By mail, payable In advance, per year 5 00 per month 50 ADVXRTiarSQ RA.TSS. Local Mattxim. Notloea under this head will be Charged 20 cents per line for first Insertion, and 15 cents per line for each additional insertion. Marriage Notices 50 cents Funeral Notices 50 cents Disi-latid Advzrtukxixts, Wasts, For Salt, For Rixt, Lost, and Fot-xd, live cents per line each Insertion. A liberal discount on Ions time advertisements. LORD BAXTA3T. Lord Bantam, a satire by the author of Ginx's Baby," is an after-thought, as is expressed upon the title-page: "I bad foreot one half, I do protest. And now am sent to speak the rest." Like all after-thoughts it is a strain upon one's patience, and would be inexpressibly dull and stupid if it were not for the sly dig at practical communism with which it closes. It is the story of a nice young lord who appeared upon the stage of life very unexpectedly, nineteen years after the birth of an elder brother. The confusion, not to say shame.of the mothtr is poignantly described: how, after she had buried the hopes of rejuvenescent motherhood, when she had thrown herself with rare ability aiid finesse into political intrigue, and had become the head of the feminine prig clique now, when she was almost regarded as a statesman, or at all events as a most noble, most charming but confirmed political intriguante by a most ridiculous accident the was obliged to await an event which she knew would make her the laughing stock of society. "None the less," says the author, "was it necessary to prepare fr the coming trouble in true aristocratic fashion." Here he speaks a word.which will not fall on waste ground this side the Atlantic, on the old English prudery now, alas! fast dying out the grand, dignified, "purific" sentiment, to avoid, by look or gesture, by hint or display, anything, however distantly, exciting the imagination in the wrong direction. It was a point of training with our mothers and grandmothers, and the society they adorned. Then the reader is given a circumstantial acount of the rearing of an infant sprig of nobility, even to tbe kind of diet and exercise prescribed. The event of the hero's life is the sudden demise of his elder brother, which leaves him heir to the estates, and Lord Bantam by right of descent. As the party to the first title came to his death from riotous living, Earl Ffowxsmers and lady, the parents of the forlorn hope restin? in Lord Bantam, adopted a different code of learning for him, keeping him at home under their immediate care and under tutors of the most irreproachable character. The upshot of the plot is the development of an ultra democratic disposition in the youthful heir. He exhibits a ranting communistic spirit, indeed, and at his majority accepts the protest of a half crazy tenant against the unequal distribution of wealth in good faith, and acts very unlike a real lord in poking around among the miners and other tenants, to compare the proceeds of their labor with the pay they received. His heart burned with indignation, and he made ranting speeches to the effect that when he entered into possession of the princely estates of his family he would right every wrong by making himself poor and the poor rich. Lord Bantam developed a fondness for speech-making, whereupon the author digresses to give his opinion of what he calls the Yankee propensity to orationize: la the United States the culture of speechmaking begins before the culture of thought. Indeed, not long after a few words and ideas have found tome lodgement iu a young mind, they are casually and cursorily shaken up within it by the demand for an oration on some impossible thesis. Facts and history are necessarily wanting to such juvenile 8 pouters; wherefore they are forced to concoct their exert itations partly from imagination and partly from Imperfect data. They are encouraged to be theorists before they become cogDizant of truths. So universal is the Yankee propensity to orationizinjc that to it must be attributed in no small degree the singularly metaphysical and theoretic character of ordinary American reasoning, even on the commonest matters of social and political life; still more those rare and mon fitrous forms of argument thev are wont to advance in international negotiation. You find your neighbor at a dinner table, in defiance of Baconian maxims elaborating, generalizing from one particular. No people in the world have equal talent for the ornamental expression of nothing. Tracing the effect of this on all popular thought, ail popular opinion it i to substitute "smartness" for learning, plausibility for fact, to dissolve instead of to. crystalize truth in words. Few Americans estimate a word at its correct value. Few of them eeern to feel it to be a. precious thing not to be squandered; not to be abused to set untruth or commonplace or unreality, a thing which with exactness and care carries in it a glorious might, but which, thrown out with slovwnly or shallow incaution, is a folly or a 6in. To be ready in expressing the results of study and thought is a faculty of faculties ; to cover with tniu and mating flakes of eloquence an underground of ignorance Is to spread delusion for the weakest and most numerous of mankind." After this specimen of turgid, meaningless criticism, the reader may thank God the American idea of language is different from the English. Lord Bantam, emancipated from tutors and a traveled gentleman, is now fairly adrift in English society, and becomes a prey to the humanitarian order of swindlers. He was peculiarly open to another class, which set before him authentic estimates of making moaey without trouble all he had to do was to lend his name. In the course of a year it ademed twenty different prospectuses of public companies, aloug with other M. P. 'a and supposititious capitalists. The custom is not without parallel in this country. The next step for our hero, or rather for the hero of the author of "Ginx's Baby," 1$ to fall in love. Horrified with the general knowledge and un-blushingly-f ree expressions of a young lady of society, he falls into the other extreme of becoming infatuated with a young lady of liberal' culture and Tiberal habits, identified with the "Society for Developing the Mental and Moral Stamina of Women." At this point his august father, a British peer, felt called upon to interfere, and volunteered the following sage, but commonplace advice: "Never marry a woman with a long nose. Possibly she may love you, but as you are a man ie will rule you or you will have cause to rue her." This was, of course, adding fuel to the flame, and my Lord Bantam determines to pay Lady Sopbbokla, tfle strong-minded, a visit. At the

door he is mistaken for a chiropodist who had an engagement with his" angel, and finally 5s admitted to her presence in a little room pet apart to receive the incongruous visitors her vagaries subjected her to. Here he found her, and after a conversation of live minutes (the second he ever had with her,) proposed marriage. Theform of the declaration of love ar d reply were as wild as might be expected from sueh unnatural young people. They were Interrupted by the arrival of the aforesaid chiropodist, who restored the philosophers to common life if not to common sense. The next morning they had another interview, which was not disturbed by the corn doctor, when the fair Sophronia proposed delaying no longer, but to proceed at once to the registrar's to have the marriage ceremony performed. The lover explained that a little marriage settlement business was necessary, but that was quickly disposed of, and the couple were married in the utmost privacy, the family of neither bride nor groom being present. Passing over four or five years we find Sophronia surrounded with lots of little Bantams Then, when she had to face the realities of na ture, and her true woman's heart found healthy play and outlet in the noblest affection when she had first a son and heir then twins then another eon then twins again she began to suspect that humanity could not be entirely regulated by utilitarian philosophy and the Eclectic religion. Furnily cares miit have weakened her understanding, but they certainly softened her heart. The result was she deserted the philosophers in the basest manner, and- abjured the Fivrtch system as a practical absurdity. Lord Bantam received the change with exemplary resignation. He still persisted in his idiosyncracies to the extent of breaking his father's heart. The poor old Earl sent for him when dying aud admonished him that it was his interest to follow the people, not to prompt them, and so died, the second line of a favorite triplet falling from his lips: "There was an old merchant of Rotterdam, And every morning he paid, I am Tbe richest merchant in Rotterdam ' Lord Bantam was Earl of Ffowlsmere, worth 700,000 a year, with a fine chance to carry his philosophy into practice. The first act of his succession was to drive a tight bargain with the undertaker in the burial o his father. The bill was actually reduced nearly two hundred pounds. Then for a week lie gave himself up to a mastery of the vast accounts, and was gratified to fiud that his father's unrivalled business powers had left him nothing to criticise. Now comes the denoutnunt. He was one day informed that his tenantry were coming in a body headed by the man Bkoad-n bent, to whom he had pledged a division of the estate a few years before. He immediately dispatched a groom for the police, and hastily armed all the mal es attached to the castle. They were, however, disposed of out of 6ight. The tenantry advanced" and the new Earl, accompanied by two stout servants, descended to the steps which led to the drawbridge and met them. His appearance was hailed with a cheer, which strangely agitated him. Broadbent approached him and offered his hand, which the Earl coldly took. The old man made a short speech, felicitating the people of England more than the Earl upon his succession. A faint blush overspread the Earl's face as he bowed acknowledgments. Once more the Earl saw Broadbent draw forth those broad-rimmed spectacles and unfold a sheet of proletarian paper. Once more did the old man's gruff voice read with uncouth emphasis an address similar to the one which had hailed his majority as Lord Bantam. lie received the address with some embarrassment. To conclude, in the words of the author: "Immediately facing the Earl was the sturdy trunk and leonine head of tbe old shoemaker, and below, his late associates in the League, all waiting for him to take the lead in the transfiguration of Labor. He hesitated. "Well, my lord," said Broadbent, "wc wait your answer. Surely you have made up your mind. We are prepared to follow you to the death." "No doubt a Mr. Broadbent; but, Mr. Bkoadeext and my good friends, I I have lately bad to reconsider the subject of this address with same care, and iu fact, gentlemen I have seen reason to change my opinion." TEXAsliuVERs! Correspondence of ths St. Louis Republican The second day's march brought us to the Pecos, a remarkable river without bottom. Two other rivers afterwards crossed, unlike this one, may be said to have no top. These, the Colorado and Guadalope, have risen with treacherous haste forty feet in less than as many minutes, overwhelming herds, flocks and campers. Recently the camp of . olonel Merriman was engulfed, his wife carried away by the Hood and drowned, and himself and child escaped with difficulty. These "risings" are caused by heavy rains in the mountains far off, which, without premonition, rush down and surcharge the lower count ry. Ordinarily they are fordablc by man and beast. They mav therefore be said to have no certain top. The Pecos is far more dangerous; it has no bottom, being in many places unfathomable. Like the fabled Avernus, no living tiling falling into its turbid bosom is ever rescued alive, if at all. At 3Ielvin it is crossed by a pontoon bridge. It is more than one thousand miles in length, exceedingly tortuous, with a rapid current, precipitous banks always rilled, and is of an average width of not more than twenty feet. Under currents catch and carry oil everything n its surface. A soldier lately ventured near its brink, slipped, fell in, and was never seen again. Search for his body was fruitless. Herds of cattle in hot weather, famishing for drink, rush over its banks and are lost in its turbulent waters.

The San Francisco Bullet in says: "A tall, powerful gentleman, with a countenance suggestive of exposure to wind and weather, entered the car on Montgomery street, and assumed a position on the rear of the platform. Hewju richly dressed w earing a suit whose polish rcllectcd one's face almost as a mirror, and from the pocket of his velvet vest hung a massive gold chain. The chain alone gave him the look of a fortunate miner, and tnc golden, galloping horse at the end, suspended by the back, corroborated impress.ons caused by the chain. The conductor, . as the car ncared the depot, started on his tour of collection, intending to commence with the miner. But lie was destined to meet with unexpected opposition in the pursuit of his legitimate business. He placed his hand in- the side pocket of his coat to draw forth his nippers, when out came a formidable five shooter from the miner's hip pocket, accompanied with the exclamation, "Look hyar, stranger, I kim from the mountains, but yer can't get the drop on me!" The other passengers in the car, save a few ladies, smiled, explanations followed, and the gentleman from Nevada put up his weapon and paid his farr."

THE 'POSSUM IN MACAUONIC. The nox was lit by lux of Ltr.ia, And 't'vas nox mot opportuua To cntcti a possum or a coona ; For nix wan Scattered o'er this ruundns, A shallow nix, ef aon rTo'nndtn. On tic a nox with raiii-'.".nil", Two hovs went out to hunt for coona.?, Unif canif, duo puer, Numiuam briver, niinqiiinn truer, , (Jiiani hoc trio nr.;in.i:i -ait. If there was I never ki.ew n. The corpus of thtahonns euni:. Was full as Jor. & oeto span if, But brevior leys had canis never CJ jam had hie do?: et bonus clever Son used to say, in stnltum jocura, Oud a field was too small locum For sic a dog to make a turnus Circnm self from stem to eternus, This bonr.s dc: had one bad habit, Amabat mnch to tree a rabbit; Amabat plus to chae a rattus, Amabat bene tree a cattns. But on this nixv moonlight night This old cani iliJ just rijrht. Nmiciiiam treed a starving rattus, Nunquam chased a starving cattus, lint cucurrit on. intentus. On the track and on the scentus. Till he treed a ponyi.m etroiuruni. In a hollow trnnkum longum: Loud he barked, in horrid belluui. Seemed on terra venit pellum, Quickly ran the duo puer Mors of poHsum to secure, Ouuiu vuierit, one fcean rl o chop away like quisque man: Soon the ax went through the truncum, Soon fie hit it all kerchuukum; Combat deepens; on ye braves; CcnU, pueri ct staves; As his powers non loniruis tarry. Possum potest non pujmare, On the nix his cm pus lit-th, , Down to Hades his ppiiit llicth, Joyfnl pueri, cani bonus. Think him dead as anv btnmt. Now tliey seek their pal er's donio, Feeliiig proud as any homo, Know'iivr, cert", they will blossom li:to heroes, when with po-suiu They arrive, rarrabunt Mory, Plena blood et pleiiior ;dorr. J'ompey, David. S. ni-o , C:esar, Cyrus. Vilackhnwk, Slialtnaneser! Tell me whore est now the gloria, Where the honors of Vic toria? Qunum ad domum narrent ftory, Ilcbus, saniru ne, tr.isrie, sory. I'ater praiseih, likewise mater. Wonders greatly joiuirrer frater, PosMim leave they on the niniidus, (o themselves to sleep profundus, Somuiunt possums tlaiu in battle, Stromr as urs; large as eattle. s When nox si-es way to lux of morning Alham terrain mnch adorn in; I'pthey jump to see the v.irinen, Of the which this is the carmen. L! possum est reMirreetutn! Eeee pueri tlejeetnm. Ne deihiquit track behind him, Et the pueri never find him. Cruel possum! bestia vilest. How th - pueros thou beiMiilest; Pueri think i on phi of Ca sar, Go ad Oroum, Shalnumeser, Take your l.i:irl,mm the Imsor, Since ista possum is a jjoner! THE LAST CLARK COUNTY IIORROK. THE LATEST DEVELOPMENTS IN THE CASE INFOUMATION ASKED FOli BY THE KELATIVE3. From the Louisville Ledger, 2Cth. On Tuesday of last week, at 3 o'clock in the morning of that day, the residence of John Bandle, situated on the turnpike nearly midway between Jellersonville anu New Albany. Indiana, and sone three miles from Louisville, was discovered by one of his neighbors to be on fire. The neighbor aroused other neighbors, and together they hastened to the scene of the lire, only to witness the total destruction of the building, and to be horrified at the sight of the bodies of Bundle and his wife Ij'ing close together in the cellar under the building consuming in the names. These neighbors dragged the charred remains from the tire, which had become intensified in heat from the falling in of the roof and floor of the building, anil its concentration in the small and deep cellar. But the remains were so burned that it was impossible to recognize upon them any mark to indicate that violence had been used in causing death before the flames had wrought their perfect work of total disfiguration and almost total consumption of the bodies. . The Coroner of Clark county summoned a jury and held an inquisition over the rcmains, and his jury returned a verdict that, in their opinion, .John Bandle and his wife came to their death by foul means, and that their residence had been fired over their dead bodies in order that the crime of murder might be covered under the strong presumption of accident that would naturally arise under such circumstances. This conclusion was arrived at by the jury after hearing all the evidence that could' be adduced to throw light upon the awful horror. Very many persons, nevertheless, differed with the jury, and maintained that Bundle and his wife died from suffocation and heat by the accidental burning of their house. The testimony relied upon by those who held to the theoVy of murder and arson in the case may be thus briefly summed up; Bundle hud money, in amount probably several hundred dollars, and this was a generally understood fact; it was believed that the day preceding his death he had sold about one hundred and fifty dollars' worth of meat, for which lie had received the money; several gun or pistol shots hud been heard between twelve o'clock, midnight, and one o'clock on the morning the house was burned, near the house; that two fierce dogs owned by Bundle, that were turned out by him at night to guard the premises, and were never known to leave the place, were seen on the morning of the lire nearly two miles away from the house, and returning to it from the direction of New Albany; the horses were found in the stable, quite covered with mud something unusual, as Bandie was known to be very careful of his horses, and particular to always keep them well cleaned; the wagon stood some distance from the house, at a place not usual with Bandle to leave it, and other testimony of a similar character. Public opinion was divided as to the cause of the death of Bandle and his wife, and the origin of the fire. But there were those who were determined to thoroughly investigate the horror, and none were more active thin Mr. Bundle's brother-in-law, Mr. Frank Schmitt, who lives at the corner of Hancock and Breckinridge streets, in Louisville. Ho pushed his investigations vigorously, and they have led to the following important discoveries: Bandle had some hogs to slaughter, and 3Ir. Schmitt was to aid or procure aid in killing the hogs. On the Sunday previous to the lire lie sent a boy from Louisville over to Bandlc's to ascertain the day fixed for the slaughter of the hogs. The boy went to the house and found the door securely fastened, and was unable to gain admission to the house. The boy then went to a window, from which he had a full view of the door on the inside. He saw that the door was doubly barred on the inside by a Ion? piece of board nailed across it and into the wall (the house was of hewed logs) at the top, and at the bottom a stout stick of timber driven into the lloor through a hole close against the door. I Ie also had a view of the bed, which was neatly made up, without the appearance of any one in it. There was no one about the house, and one of the hafses was out of the stable. On the Monday morning following he again returned to the house for the same purpose he had previously visited it, and found the door secured as on Ins first visit, and the bed presenting the same appearance. Goin to the stable he found both horses and the wagon gone.

He next went to the smokc-houe and found the meat removed from it. The investigations made since the lire and discovery of the dead and nearly consumed bodies of Bandle and bis wife, have revealed the tact that a shovel Bundle was known to have is missing from the place, and, although the most vigorous search has been made f or it, no discovery of it has been made, nor could any part of 'it be found in the debris of the burnt house. TIin .LATEST TIIKOHY OF TITE CASE. The doubly barred door, the absence on the boy's first visit of one, and on his second visit of both the horses and the wasron from the stables; the fact that the shove-Pis missing; the similarity in the appearance of the bed on Sunday; the fact that neither Bandle norhis wife were seen for two or three days previous to the fire, and the condition of the horses and position of the wagon on the morning of the fire have led many to suppose that Bandle and his wife were murdered on the Saturday night before the Tuesday morning on which the houso was destroyed by tire. If it should prove true that neither Bandle nor his wife were seen after the Saturday preceding the night of the fire, this presumption would be a most natural and probably true one, as the theory to be hereafter announced will determine. - Some shrewd persons, among them one or more detective?, arguing from statements made by the boy who visited Bundle's house on Sunday and Monday, contend that the murder was committed on Saturday night; that fhe murderers procured a shovel, and placing the bodies upon one of the horses, (the one missing from the stable on Sunday, at the boy's first visit, 1 carried thorn away to the woods and buried them, and then returning the horse Sunday night placed him in the stable and Secreted themselves somewhere, either in the woods or at New Albany or Jeilersonville, or, possibly, at Louisville, to await developments. They knew of the large amount, of meat in the smoke-house, and their cupidity tempted them to possess themselves of it. They also probably feared the discover (if the bodies; and so, on Monday night, it is argued, they returned to Bundle's house, hitched up his team and hauled away his meat; then returning with his team disinterred the bodies, placed them in the cellar, put the muddy horses in the stable, and sot fire to the house, hoping the Humes would forever destroy all evidences of their crime. It is not believed that Bandle ever sold the meat it was at first stated he had curried in his wagon on Monday lust to New Albany, as the most thorough inquiry among meat dealers in that city, as well as crocerymen, has failed to discover any one who cither purchased the meat or saw Bandle in that city or on his way thither on that day. lie had relatives and many friends and acquaintances at New Albany, some one or oilier of whom he would certainly have culled upon bud be gone there, as this was al ways his custom on visiting that city. Some have stated that Bundle had no money. This is not true. On the day the Grand Duke Alexis reached Louisville, Bandle came to this city to sec him, and ottered to lend his brother, Mr. Schmitt, several hundred dollars, if he wanted it. He also proffered loans to other parties a short lime previous to his death. There. can be no longer a doubt that both Bundle and his wife were murdered and then burned. The probabilities of their accidental death are utterly groundless, in view of the discoveries made since Thursday last. He was a sober man, in the prime of" life. His vwfe was also a sober, healthy, and robust woman. That they should lie in their bed and perish without an effort at escape is preposterous. The position occupied by their bodies, lying against each oilier at full length, side beside, would not "indicate accident; but it would most clearly indicate that they were placed in that position by others after being murdered, and purposely placed in the cellar, directly under the spot on the lloor occupied by their bed, to create the suspicion of accidental burning if any part of their bodies should not be consumed by the burning house. There can, we think, be no longer a doubt that another awful crime has been added, in the death of John Bandle and his wife to the long catalogue of fearfully bloody murders in Clark county, Indiana. The relatives of the victims of this awful crime have put forth the following advertisement: "The friends of the family of Mr. John Bundle, being under the impression that he and his wife were foully dealt with, are earnestly desirous of finding out, if possible, whether Mr. Bandle sold any meat in this city, Jellersonville, or Louisville on Monday, the l'.Hh of February. His team was absent from home that day, and his door was fastened by a brace and cross piece from the inside, as seen through the window by thc nephew, who was at the house Sunday and Monday. The meat was there, and the wagon was there Sunday, but were both gone Monday. No one saw the wagon go or return. A shovel that was on the place is missing. It is believed by Mr. Bundle's friends that he was murdered on Saturday night, the bodies taken away during the night, and then returned again Monday night and thrown into the building, which was tired. If any one has any information of any kind as to the whereabouts of Mr. Bandle on Sunday or Monday, they will be liberally rewarded by his friends if they will communicate the same to Valentine Graf, of New Albany.'' f A REVIVAL INCIDENT. From the Kansas City Intelligencer, At the Union meeting held j'estcrday morning at the Congregational Church on Grand avenue, one of the speakers, who has lately "enlisted in the army of the Lord," told an incident which wc give in nearly his own language: I was passing up Main street on Tuesday morning, and I was going by a saloon, when I was hailed by a party of men, some of whom I knew, and was invited into the saloon to take a glass of beer. It seems they had met and agreed to invite to "take a drink" the first man of their acquaintance whom they knew had lately taken a stand for Christ. I happened to be their victim, and was tl trefore pres cJ to join them in a glass of beer. I told them I could not drink with them. They asked me then to come into the saloon, ask a blessing over the beer they would drink, make a prayer. I answered that 1 was willing to pray for them, and we went into the saloon. 'They called for the beer, and each glass was tilled. Then they told me to pray before they drank, and I'did try to pray. I wept some, ami prayed some, and again wept, and then prayed again. When I ceased praying I looked up and there stood the glasses tilled with beer, but there was nobody present but the bartender. All the men had slipped out of the saloon one by one, leaving their beer untasted! "Well, 1 took the glasses and (perhaps it was a wrong impulse, perhaps not) I quieth emptied the beer on the ground, and after ollering up a prayer for the bar-tender that God would bless him and change his heart, I left the saloon. As exchange says: "While smoking your meat, put on the fire a few red peppers. "The fumes will prevent all insects from attacking youj hams or smoked beef,"

CALIFORNIA '.VJSDOJIL i The Town Crier, s'ad in h's den in the gloom of a chill evening, comforting his stomach with hoarded bit of cheese and broad crackers, thiuketh .uno himself in the following manner: T. To craekeis and cheese before dinin - lj t i confess that you do not expect to di . IT. If u man have no conscience he is j. a great disadvantage in life, for he is apt to becoLie careless. Nothing so stimulates to cau'ion as the abilitv to feel the sting of tUr.-ction. III. A fourfooted beast walks by lifting one foot at a time, but a four hora tt am does nat walk bv lifting one horse at a time. And ret vou cannot readily explain whv this is so. IV. The man who stood by and saw another trving to manage a ref i ktory horse and proffered no advice, waa dumb from his mother's womb. .V. The mtaan who carried her friend a letter wi; hurt looking at the postmark was blind from birth. VI. Never use an inferior article. If your boot-jack will not work, throw it at somebody's head and buy another. VII. The camel and- the Christian receive their burdens kneeling. VIII. When an ostrich is pursued, he conceals his head under a bush; when a man is pursued, he conceals property. By instinct each knows his enemy's design. IX. Give an American a newspaper and a it, and he will make himself at home anywhere. X. There are two things that should be avoided: theleadly upas tree and soda water. The latter will make you puffy and poddy. XL There are other things that should be avoided. XII. If a jackass were to describe the Deity he would represent him with long ears and a tail. Man's ideal is the higher and truer one; he pictures II im as somewhat resembling a man. XIII. To judge of the wisdom of an act by its result is a very shallow plan. An action is wise or unwise the moment it is decided upon. XIV. If the wisdom of an action may not be determined b the result it is very difficult to determine it. XV. It is impossible. XVI. The most gifted people are not always the most favored; a man with twelve leg can derive no benefit from ten of them without crawling like a centipede. XVII. Piety, like small-pox, comes by infection. Bobinson Crusoe, however, caught it alone on his island. It is probable that he had it in his blood. XVIII. "Once bit, twice sin," is a homely saying, but singularly true." A man who has been swindled will be very cautious the second time and the third. The fourth time lie will be swindled more easily and completely than before. XIX. The bald head of a man is a very common spectacle. You have never seen the bald head of a woman. XX. You will never see the bald head of a woman. XXI. In calling a, man a hog it is the man who gets angy, but ft is the bog who is insulted. Men arc always taking up the quarrels of others. XXII. It was never intended that men should be saints in heaven until they are dead and good for nothing else. .On earth there are mostly XXIII. Fools'. Sin Francisco Xc ics Letter.

NOSES AND SNORING. Those who are cursed with an ill-formed nose can now have it quickly shaped to perfection for the ridiculously small sum of ten shillings and sixpence. A contrivance has, it seems, been patented by an enterprising London tradesman, which, "if applied to the nose for an hour daily," so "directs the soft cartilage of which the member consists" lh;.t the ugliest proboscis in creation, becomes "in a few days" a nose worthy to figure upon a ehtf r u ccre of Phidi.-is or Pohxlcus. "Whether, while it is being worn, this rev, and wonderful instrument is ornamental to the patient and soothing to the soft cartilages we are not informed, nor are we told whether, by persistent use of it, a noseless man can afford to dispense with the Talicotian operation. "We must not, however, be too skeptical. "We all know that in the Western States of America an instrument called a "nose-warmer" is in large request. It is a sort of extinguisher or nose mug, lined with fur, which, when once it is hoisted is, if not exretly decorous, yet at any rate warm and comfortable. Nor is the "nose-warmer" the only patent of modern nasohogists. Snoring is of all bud habits the most intolerable; and it is comforting to know that a device has been found out to mitigate its horrors." A long and flexible tube leads from the nose of the patient to his ear, and thus the undulcet sounds which he creates awake their author. He, in effect, consumes his own snoring, much as a well-constructed factory-chimney consumes its own smoke, and, being thus convinced of the enormity of his own sins, learns to repent him, and to keep his own nose under better control. It is evident, then, that Slawkcnbergitis left much to be desired. That a book should have been written upon noses in an age which knew nothing of nose-warmers, nosecorrectors, or snore-consumers is but another proof how great was the presumption of our ancestors. Meantime the new nose-corrector can be purchased for the ridiculously small sum of ten shillings and sixpence, "post free." And yet we daily see human beings in our streets with noses that arc a disgVace to humanity. London Court Journal. STUDY OF PHYSIOLOGY FOR WOMEN. "Women are the wives and regulators of the domestic household. They also constitute the great mass of our domestic servants. On them depends the proper ventilation of the rooms, and especially the sleeping-rooms, in which all mankind on an average spend one-third their lives. Children are too often shut up all day in crowded nurseries, and. when ill, are subjected to numerous absurd remedies before medical assistance is sent for. Their clothing is often useless or neglected, the dictation of fashion rather than comfort and warmth being too frequently attenoed to. The cleanliness of the house also depends on women, and the removal of organic matter from furniture and lincn,thc decomposition of which is productive of disease. Further, the proper choice and preparation of food is intrusted to them all these are physiological sulrjects, the ignorance of which is constantly leading to the greatest tinhappiness, ill-health, and death. Among the working classes it is too frequently the improvidence and ignorance of the women which lead to the intemperance and brutality of the men, from which originate half the vice j nd crime kinwn to our police ollices and courts of justice. Arguments, therefore, for the study of physiology by women may be derive I from the consideration of (l)the effects of fashionable clothing the tight lacing, naked shoulders, thin shoes often subversive of health; (2) the groat object of marriage the production of healthy offspring and all the foresight, care and provision required, but too often neglected through ignorance, to the danger of both mother and child; (:) the proper employment of women, which should be regulated with regard to their conformation and constitutions; and (4) nursing the sick, which is one of the most boh occupations of women, and which would be much more intelligently done if they possessed physiological knowledge. Hence, women in all ranks of society should have physiology taught them. ' It should be an essential subject in their primary, secondary and higher schools. trexxf ilealth,

BY JOHN S. Si'ANV c: 0., REAL ESTATE AGENTS, GO East "WaIiintcm Street,

Uaving closed nut the- Kdw.-ird r.uoition so far as placed in the maiket. we now o.Vcr sixteen' lots ix ciasox S SLiJ-WVISIOX Of Block No. -23 ef John -son's Heir Addition; Thce lots laying r.djo'.niLir the i:dwa-d Lu k, ai:d toing cow i't: tn-t I'.-; iu the North -cut part of the city. They lay .lcadldly: ar'iiiil k) feet wide, and half of tkcin front 11. Togctlivr t : quantity i nearly three acres, and as the Links are uid.roki-n, nu oflVr in bulk will becittirtaiiu d if it coin. s in time. It lays jut ri.'ht for a homestead f -i;hr an acre; ami a half, or 1y vacating an all.-y: thn- a. res together. The jirire is not high, and it wi'l pay a'y parly who miy eee thir? to look after it at oice. JOHN S. SIANN & CO., I?J Estate A pent f, February 2T, 1S72. r.0 n.i-t W-i!.iv.;t..ii Mreet. PACn IX iHS STi'Mo. Yes, that while-hahc-l, whitc-bcarded man is he. Tno plaster m!.M at v.hw h he works in the corner there is a head of S!i::ke.-p-a:v, which Ik; is f:sbio:i:T-cr. aided V.v pin t igraphic views f th.' ccicbrn;--d in :" k n the poet's face discovered i?i ("crmany; hv th a cngravlnc c.f the (.'hnr.dos pfirin.it. :.id bv thccnpvof tho :-ir:iifrd l:t. half l.urh d among t lie. wonderful !iier of c tab;.'. '' each of nil these he refers in turn. Ilial 1 c may add another truth of form tt the face b'forchim. From this model, when completed, he will puir.t i1. portrait of :-h:ikes-peare, which, l:c hd'eves, viil b.' the lirt that lias lecn hotter than a i-.-irlcnre of the bard. "Would yo;i hel:ee it! ho has been over a year ni work upon lhat lump of phtsN j-; at work day in, day out, fw,m dawn to sr,:iet; during th? past summer he took n vacation, that ho rai'ght proe- e, w-ih it: :i;ul IioIhn set aside much proiita'-h labor lest it should interfere with this work. That mask has cost him its weight in goM nlready, and it is not yet finished. This tatc;neiU is no fegure of speech, but a literal truth. Fii'wcn thousand dollars wOuhl not more than pay him for the work upon it, e-limatinz his labor al its present market value. "Why all this labor?" you may say; "will the end repay it?M Perhaps. Knoiigh for him, since he estimates the telling of a trutb so highly. And this is all he aims at to give us a true Sliakspeare: to suggest the soul and body of the poet; and this in such fashion that when we look on i lie piclricwe sil..il ay: ''Yes, just sueh :v one he must, have been, the hegiiet type ;f the intellectual in man which the" mod rn werld has known.' o. how the artit turns, lays down his modeling tool and i;p oi plaster, and lights his pipe, conscious of what !kj is about as the philosopher who used the lady's linger for a tobaLrcstopper. lie is; st ill the dreamer, you perceive, and if voir could hear him talk you find him as speculative on matters of philosophy and religion as he was forty years ago. And whilst lie is by no means llnent on th-- contrary, rather slow of speech he is withal one of" the best talkers we have ever heard, and we own no rival in our heart to him as a reader it rhymaJic composition. It is a rare treat Jo hear him recite the sonnets of hi f.ivorte poet, or a pet passage from the poems of his scaicely less beloved Lowell. You see how bravely he carries his Mty odd. years; bow cheery and hepoful he looks. Ay! and he often sings, too, in that cage of his! What a look of J he master of color h?, loves so much he puts on as he -grows old! Ilowthetirst glance at him sends the student's thoughts to !iis books again to the days when Art sat as upon a throne ami men worshiped her for the bea'.-.ly and the joy she gave them; when artists were the children of the people, of the StaU-, and not mere mechanics, as most of them. 'hrough necessity, now are. A link 'iwixt the old and the neV i.s William Page. Woe.hl ihat there Mere more; wilh so much of the old in I hem .-j much of the spirit of se-l'-saeiilice, N-trayed in the t wlve-ioonths' lalior on that plasterhcad! The March S'rtihcr. , A PLEASANT ACCOrXT OV AN EXTT.OSTON. The Danhury Xnr gives the following cHecrful account of a late disaster in that town: "There was a trilling allair in llranchville on Friday. Piiilas W. IJatc.v has a quarry about a cuarter t.f a milteast of the village. He is also the oa ncr of a blacksmith : -hop near by. where he employs two or three men to sharpen the to.:U used in quarrying the stone fer the Shepang road at Ueiheh In accordance with a good old Xew gland custom ths powder 'used is kept in the blacksmith shop. There were two keers partly filled and one keg unbroken in the shop at the time our shVy opens. i was a pleasant day. There was no bright sunshine, but the general appearance of things out-doors was ihe'low and coniiortablc like. One of the men was employed at the anvil, hammering Ihe sultrj" end of a crowbar. -V few grains of powder had fallen upon the lloor while replenishing the quarry from the open kegs. We came near forgetting to state t'ni--, which is a. moro important mailer than at first sight sums probable. The other employes were busily engaged, as jlie sons of toil are apt to be when employed by the day. A balsamu: perfume tilled the atmosphcic of the shop. Suddenly a i'akc of slnanilng hot iron shot from the anvil and down among the gram of powder which hold thtir slumbering fires to the lloor. There wire a few unnoticed pops and dashes, then came:; h:s as the llamc shot over into the open kegs. The man who held Ihe crowbar mechanically passed out doors. Another son of toil whowith his back to the danger, wa-4 looking through a window, turned round i:i time to detect one end of the shop in tin act of moving oil", followed by a comrado whose shirt had none up in a flame. Tho two partly filled kegs had exploded with the custwniary violence, and the full keg wass on lire. At this juncture was displayed an act of heroism sehhun exhibited in FairlUM county. .Mr. Jiates seized the burning keg and hurled it out into the snow, in time to quench the fhunes, save the balance of his shop, and the lives of himself and men. Two of the men were badly burned, a portion of the shop was wrecked, and two roosters wb had been fighting near by at o:icf buried all animosities engendered by the fray, and immediately started over the hill for Lome, with the rapid r.nd graceful gait peculiar to those feathered 3Iormous." A Loi'isville lady adores her pastor because he is filled with "divine intiatters." Oregon has an office-holder named Virtue,