Western Sun & General Advertiser, Volume 20, Number 9, Vincennes, Knox County, 11 April 1829 — Page 4
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POETICAL ASYLUM. IWU , MMIHIMMHW IIWMMM FROM THE BUFFALO EMPORIUM. A CO.TIUST. .Wa with your lassies pinched up in the middle, Drawn rearward their shoulders, and cramp'd every rib, tey With cheeks like the lily that faints in the valAshamcd of the labor their grandmothers did. Dut give mc the fine buxom lassie o nature, As round as a melon, as plump as a teal ; Whose cheeks arc as red as a sunburnt potato, Whose fingers can ply both the rake and the wheel, Our grandmothers surely had died broken hearted, eye Could they had of the future a glance of the To see how their impious daughters had parted With stout linsey-woolsey, exotics to buy And hung up their distaffs, and burnt up their treddles, And sung to their lap-dogs their best lullaby, Politely dissevering peas in the middle. Instead cf devouring a whole pumpkin pie,
Oh ! we dwindle awav everv strange generation ;
Our wives are a sickly, I've told you the why, There will not be a man in the whole o the naIn fifty years more that is bigger than I. tion,
I'll tell you my height, 'tis just three feet eleven, I'm haunted with hypo, spasmodics, & spleen,
A poor sickly dwart, inheriting evil, Because my mother in fashion has been.
O had the tall Alps been the place of my model,
My mother a Moor, without 3weet-c.lie or
plum,
a then might have sported like Alic!; M'Donald, And looked down with pride upon 11. tic Tom
l numb. rOM THK. WF.STKRN TI I. ILICfFJ.OH'S IiJLL. rPvOrt THK IRISH OF MLLY o'kqrS. .'.che.lor's hall ! what a rjueer looking place it is' K-jpe me from such all the days of my life, Cure, but 1 think, what a burniu disgrace itii, Never at all to W getting a wife.
Cke the ould bachelor, gloomy and sad enough,
Placing his takittle oxer the fire, f. i n it tips over St. Patrick ! he's mad encugh (If he were present) to fight with the s piire. Z'tow like a hog in a mortar-bed wallowing.
(Awkward enough,) see him kneading his
dough, lowing.
Troth! if the bread he could ate ; v.-itlumt swal-
How it would favour hi nahue, vo ? know
His dishcloth is missing the pigs are devouring
In the pursuit he has battered hi shm it, A plate wanted washing -grimalkin is scouring Thunder & turf! what a pickle lie's in ! it, iFots, dishes, pans, and such graisy cornmxlities, Ashes and prata skins kiver the floor, iJis cupbvvard s a storehouse of comical oddities, V'hings that had never been neighbors before. H- meal being oxer, the table's left setting so Di-hes, take care of yourselx es if you can! lV.it hunger returns then he's turning is. fretting Och ' let him .tU ne tor a b lto i f a man ! sv Late m the n;ght llu n he goes t-hel sliivcrin, N. ver t'.v bit is hu li-al n ido at all, ?ie cicp.s liV.c a t.u x:k'. umUt tV- kiein .vl lu.L to ih. i '-:umv of b.Kh-.L-r'i hali V .'.!)Y. V" W . .too i r r. It vc-tt Wv;ht t.irs vvi, irh o ai the n.ight,
VARIETY.
llv r 'i a Vi-.fd iwc'.iio
I i i e
mv. ro t' 1
d ai'.iv ! ."-U'lit,-,
Vhnn death '. t-" : amirr e.crc ;
veet t wovo
.r. t 'eivr
o'lv'o to hr.
th: Sh;h:e t o;:afir"
"Mis; soul a:ul so-ai to. i Uvv tliviky. And soar aay t'u -n t ir to blar But Oh ! how d ;tk. how drear and Would seem the b:i ;:;t.-t uo:i'l of blisj, If wandetingthvoe.g!i e.:h rathent c:e, We f.ii'ed to ti:id t'o.o lo.xed ol tins ' Zf there no mot e the tics shall tv. r: Tiiat death's cold hand alne can fever, Ah ' then, those vt..isin mockery sh.i'-.e, Mcie hateful as they shine forever! It cannot he, each Ir-pe, each fear, That light the ex e, or oloeds the brow, Pioclaims there is a happ'.cr sphere Thau this bleak world that hold us r -v. There is a voice xvhich sorrow hears. When heaviest weighs life's galling chainrTis heaven that whispers dry thy uats, the pare in heart shall meet agVm 1 ' who is dr a ki (;; ca Thv nct&hhor ? It is lie xvhom theu Hast power to aid and bless ; Whose aching heart and burning brow Thy soothing heart may ptcs.-. Thv neighbor ? Ti the fainting pcr, Whose' eye xvith xvant is dun ; Whom hunger semis from door to ilea, Go thou and comfort him. Il:v neighbor? Tis that weary man Whoso years are at their brim, sent low with sickness, o.ire, .,;:J :.v;n ; thou and comfcit him.
SERIOUS THOUGHTS ON THE AP rilO ACHING COMET. " Canst thou brinp; forth Mazza-
roth in his season? or canst thou
cuidc Arcturus with his sons?" Job.
I am by no means easy in my
mm mt mr
mind on the subject of the approach
ing comet. Stars and planets, and
suns and moons, are all very innocent and well disposed animals ; but these immense monsters of comets, with
tails eight hundred thousand miles in
length, I have a most special dislike to. We all know very well what the whole of the ninety-one constel
lations are about northern, south
ern, & zodiacal; for, like Mr. wen's
communities, they arc peaceably oc cupied with their own at)airs,vand evince no intention whatever to inter
fere with those of others ; but those great lumbering leviathans of space, who hold in such consummate contempt the three unities of time, place, and action, arc a much more disa grccablc set of persons to deal with, and seem to possess a sort of blind power, like the large piston of a steam enmne ("magna componcre pavis ,")
which moves urj and down with a
force U would be madness to tryNto
check It is all nonsense to tell us
that the old superstitious notions
about comets arc now deservedly exploded. Rational fear has nothing
to do with superstition. It is true a
considerable number of these tremen
dous birds of passage have now been
seen, &, as wc have become more fa
miliar with them, wc have ceased to believe that each travels onward
through space, bearing a mandate foi
our destruction. Dot though the
! Indian may live in the woo ls for
years without being devoured by the
wild beasts, it does not then-rorc fol low that he will not fall a prey to one of them at l ist. thousand shots are fired on the day f batMe before a hill reaches the heart of t hat much
i respected officer maj Bombproof;
but the major is not mvnlnei able, for a rascally .cuirassier gives hiinAa length a slash with his broadsword, that throws him off the perpendicular for ever. Nou , though several score of comets may have dashed through that part of space in which wc happen to be. without either running us down, as a seventy four in full sail
imiht run down a Newcastle collier,
and nolo onus way, rejoicing, not!
knowing that it had done any misrdiipf nr pvph nbsprvincr nn v nrlrlitirm-
!al bubbling on the water, or without
giving us a slight switch with its tail, and blotting us out of existence, like an aclivehousewife, who, with one of the corners of a towel, brushes from an obscure corner an hereditary cobweb, and in one instant hurries into eternity the decent & experienced spider, who sat dosing in quiet security, though none of these consummations have as yet happened, I should like to know what certainty there is that they will not happen soon It is all very fine talking to tell us of the eccentric ellipses of tl$h? comets, and of the ascertained periods in which they accomplish their rev
oluttons, and at which their return is to be expected. In the first place, we can never be sure for a single
tween Edinburgh & Aberdeen, & ne
ver between Edinburgh & London. There is one comet which appeared in 1758, whose period, we are told, has been ascertained to be seventy five years, & which will consequently be seen again in 1833, (about the time that Edward Irving predicts the Mil
lcnium;)but if it keeps in its old track it will be a harmless comet, and can
have nothing to do with a new order of things.
There is another comet that ap
peared in 1811, whose period is said to be twenty-nine years ; and a third that was seen in 1680, which sir Isaac
Newton calculated would not return
lor aa years mat is till the year
m.
2255. if the world last so long. But
these are only three comets, and there
are thousands about which no calcu
lations have been ever attempted
And if. notwithstanding the amazing velocity with which they move, so
long a time is necessary to complete their revolutions what must not the distance be which they travel ? and how is it possible to suppose that they can always keep at. a sufficient length
nearer. But a fe;? creeks have elan-
with the assistance of the most powerful glasses, and now it is visible to
the naked eye. Where is this to stop? Who shall say to the tremendous visitant "Thus far thou shalt come and no father Yy Stars arc beautiful &. familiar things that may be likened unto lambs wandering over the blue fields of heaven : but the lurid comet is a wolf that has broken in upon the field, and the eye of the good shepherd is averted ; I went the other night to the Observatory on the Calton Hill to have a distinct peep at him. He is one of the ugliest looking customers I ever saw ( To be concluded next week ) "You've been Captain long enough!1' Walking up Beacon street the other day. I met a little republican corps,
which amused me greatly. The band consisted of 1 urchins," from C to 10 years old, accoutred in boyish style, with pasteboard caps and fin vwmds. The troop was merely large enough to furnish Captain, Lieuten-
not onlvfrom one another, but from!ant i 'gn x i nimpcfcr a pretty
all the, stars among which they ar? !il,r n'-He ot some ot our militia
t-dhiishmrnts. all oiheers cc no men.
ciassed in svstem.or denominated tw
bulae, clusters, move, innumerable ;:s: VtCUllr Americans, and all in office, I those stars arc, whether they be wliite ''-y naturally supposed they were spots, far milky ways? h it not a ,,r'! lin(J !,-PPV : hut my eyes had fact that many stars which urn- ,lU! hou ed the young soldiers far know to the ancients arc now Men no u hni I P-iccivcd their lieutenant, a
sturdy chup about six years old, make
a dead halt. "What's the matter.
longer? and how arc we to account for their bcimrlosfc? 1 knnu vn-v
well that an ingenious theory hi; i1 ""nrd out the captain. "I tell been started, which would endcavom 'M u nilt I'd. you've been captain
l b.y neiphber? Tis the heart bcrc:". Of every earthly gem ; yhv.v ;ul orphan, helpless left ' kio thou ?avA. slitlter them. I t'.v ncirhhor ? Vo'ulev toiling vlavf, Fettf rM in thought ami li-nb, V!iase heies are all beyond the grave ; Go thou and ransom him. 'VhcnVr thou mcct'at a human form Less favored than thine own, "lemember 'tis thy neighbor's worm, Thy bioiher, or thy son. Oh' vss 1 P2?;s nct heedless by ; l'erlups thou cans't redeem Vhe breaking heart ivom misery, ilnrc ly Ut with him.
month, that a new comet will not suddenly make its appearance, which
was never seen or heard of before.
rushing through space at a rate which makes all other motion a joke, and continually increasing in size, as it
sweeps by with tens of thovXmds of
crumbled planets whirled itHo its
vortex. And. in the next placeit i
a mere piece ol humbug in astrono
mers to pretend that they can calcu
late the subsequent appearance of
comets that have been observed before, and be perfectly sure that they
will keep in the same orbits, as if they
to convince us that the solar system has been making a progressive ad vancement in space, or, perhaps mon philosophically, that it is performing a periodical revolution about the common centre of gravity of the uni vfise, & is consequently continualU
changing its relative position. Dot it this were the case all the stars, or nealy so. of Pythagoras & Ptolemv, should now be missing, and astronomy, should be a science sui generis, that renewed iis youth and became perfectly fresh at least every five hundred years. Besides if the solar system is changing its position, why may it not come into contact with some of those very comets, the sphere of whose influence it happened to be without when they formerly appeared ? But to put this matter in a still
more serious point of view, and to prove how very little astronomers know on a subject of such vast importance, it is only necessary to al
lude to the comet of 1770, the period of whose revolution, according to all astronomical calculations, was about
seven years, and which consequently
ought to have returned about eight times since 1770. Yet it has never been seen since, and no one knows
what has become of it ? Why may it not have started off at a tangent into some new orbit ? Why may not its aphelion have been so immense
that it lost all attachment to our sun, and like a moth, which changes Irom
one candle to another, be now whirl
ing round some other luminary?
Y hy may not us perihelion have
been so close that it was absorbed
altogether, and like fuel thrown into a
furnace, is now burning away in a
state ol amalgamation with our lamp
ot day : Ur, why may not the wan
derer, as if to show the absurdity of
all calculations about him, be at last
returning by a somewhat different
line of road ? and what should hinder the comet now visible from being our old friend with a new face? These are all questions whieh it is impossible to answer with confidence ; and
the solution of the perplexing difficul
ty must probably remain an enigma
forever.
In the mean time, the mighty and
mysterious phenomenon, night after
v. enough I'm going to be can-
tain ! home altercation followed. & the ehaetory lieutenant oi:lv vociferated he louder "You've been captain long enough my turn now !" A eompmmise wa? at length effected;
and the iJinhhious voung officer a-
grced to budge on a few yards further,
with tm- piorr 1 ot brmg made cap
tain at the end of the Mfec t.
I laughed the li .le pageant
moved out of bight, This." said L
44 is an abridgement of human society
imsisine genuine spun nl man." That little troop is frequently
urougnt 10 my mind. When I hear
politicians blustering about reform,
and keeping up a perpetual noise a-
bout evils which every body hears of.
and nobody feels I say to myself,
44 ilai, your troop would all be offi
cers, & even the meanest little scapegrace among ye would soon rebel
from his duty, and call out, 11 1 tell ye
wnai ieu, us my turn to oc captain
now.
When I sec a lover all devotion, &
a young husband all indulgence, I
wonder how long it will be before he
says, "I tell yc what, it's my turn to
he captain now V1
W hen 1 hear a blooming young
gui ask, ; Donf you think Miss such
an one begins to fade f says I to
myselt, your ambitious little heart begins to think, -I won't be lieutenant any longer."
And when I hear a belle rejoice in her rival's marriage, I wonder wheth
er she does not think, 4 Til be captain now." 1 might mention a hundred
things, that bring the discontented lieutenant to my mind, but I forbear least my readers should exclaim, t; I tell yc what, you've been captain long enough." Mass. Journal.
were eo many eteam boats plying be- night, comes mailing on nearer and
To make Fine Light Biscuit To two pounds of flour, add one table spoonful of butter, and a tea spoonful of pearlash, make them as soft as possible, roll very thin, cut them out & bake in five minutes. These cakes are very far superior to ordinary kinds, and save that tedious process of beating, beating, till the cookmaid's shoulder is almost dislocated. Experience is the mother of science A goose quill is more dangerous than a lion's claw.