Western Sun & General Advertiser, Volume 16, Number 18, Vincennes, Knox County, 18 June 1825 — Page 4

Poetical,

From the Boston Palladium. 'TIS WOMAN RULES. Mankind o'er Women empire boast, And claim a right to roam; But very often blust'ring blades Are Jerry Sneaks at home ! The hero who, in battle fierce, Has bravely risked his life, The din of strife domestic fears, And crouches to his wife. T ie Lawyer, who by pleading keen, In courts has gained renown, Still finds, when drest in humble bob, His wife will take him down. The Statesman great, in Senate bred, In polities' wise school, Beat by a casting vote at home, His own house cannot rule. By diff'rent methods Ladies fair Usurp supreme command; The force of tongue's the sweetest way And, sometimes force of hand. When ladies long for pretty toys, And husbands keep the purse, Hysteric fits are potent spells To conquer men perverse.

With milder disposition bless'd, Some choose a gentler plan; And each contrives, with bonds of love

To lead her own good man.

(T. Look round the world, through all degrees, vl'hese truths will stand confess'd That women rule, and married men Are Jerry Sue iks at best. m ; ; ; n o : : ; mr Important to Blacksmiths. Welding Steel, $c The weld ingof Cast Steel to itself or to

lvm at a heat little above red heat.

which low temperature is essential

towards preserving the quality of

the steel, has Ions: been known and

Not to mention his real name,! mittimus, and the constable car-

we shall take an idea from the ried off the bacon friers, to jail

note, and call him Mr. Agustus there to await their trial at the Peas and shall proceed to Retail next county sessions, while the

a case which came before hi rn other party was discharged. Feelsoon after hi9 appointment. I ing a strong desire to know how stepped into his office through cu- this case would eventuate, 1 at-

riosity one day, where a number tended at the next court of judi-

of people were assembled, to see cature. The judges were sitting

what was going on, when I was on the bench, and a number of

much amused with the following black coats sat around the green scene Mr. Agustus Peas bid a table. Mr. Agustus Peas, Esq.

boy step to the stable, and tell came into the court, and with an

John Scrubto come immediately, air of importance took his seat

John with his short cropped hair not far from the bench. Presen-

and dirtv frock on, presently came tlv the trial of Thomas and Mary

in ana wok nis scat oy squire

Peas, and with hisenormous paws

laid hold of the pen and paper.

Then Mr. Agustus with great

gravity and emphasis said "Mr

Constable, what defence hath

been committed, what crime hath

been dissurbed, and how hath the

Blab, for frying bacon, was called

up. kFor frying bacon!" quoth says the judge, "what is the meaning of this? 1 never heard that frying bacon was a crime, or against

law before; who committed these

persons.'

Mr. Agustus I committed

peas of the state been brokef$nd them, may it please your honor;

vindicated?

it is against law and a high mis

Constable Why, sir, hereNis damner

one Mary Blab has lost her gown, Judge Pray, Mr Justice,

and says that Dolly Lightfinger show me the law, for T never be

stole it. and so I thought as how fore in all my life, heard of such

I would bring them before you. a one.

Justice A gown stolen! why Mr. Agustus Here is the that is downrigh forgery by law. book, your honor and here is the Bring the complainant Dolly place. (Giving the book to the

Ijighthnger before me. judge:

Constable This is the worn-1 The grave gentleman put on

an. sir. his specs, and cat bis eves for a Justice Hussy, how came you moment on the page before him,

to have the tire of the law before I his countenance exhibiting a

your eyes, and steal this woman's strong desire in his risible facul

gown? You are an equitous bag- ties to express his feelings. At

practised as a secret by Mr. Au- gage and will go to the cells. I length he informed the court that

gustus Seine, of London. It is Dolly 1 did not steal her the law which Mr. Agustus Peas;

thus effected. In a clean crucible gown, sir. I bad taken to be against frying ba-

borax is melted, and then with it I Justice Well now here's a con, was that against firing a Bea-!

one tenth ot its weight o pound- quandary! why here s the worn- con. it may he easily supposed j

ed sal-ammoniac is mixed, and in- an confesses she did not steal the that even the august presence of

corporated over the fire; the mix- gown: where s the defendant Ma- Agustus Peas, Esn. could not res-

tureis then poured out on an iron ry Blab? (Addressing her.) How 1 train the wits at the bar. and the

plate, and when cold, this glass come you to discharge Dolly whole court, from bursting out

like substance is pulverised, and Lightfinger with stealing your into a loud laugh, at the ludicrous

mixed with an equal weight of gown, for she denies her inno-1 mistake. The prisoners were re

unslacked lime and preserved for cence of it? leased with permission to go

use. The nieces of steel or iron Mary Blab Indeed, sir, mv home and fry their bacon without

i v

intended to be joined, being rais- gown was hanging on a goosberry molestation. viator.

ed to a low red heat, are to have bush in the srarden. and I saw

their surfaces strewed over with Doilv Liiihtfir.oer take it off with JAlilj KIMiMx.

the above mixture, which will my own eves. ? r'se rlv is truly the one melt and run over them like spa! Dollv There's no belief in tmnS needful above all to those

ing wax These pieces are then what she says, sir; she lies, she's a uho are candidates for either of

to be returned to the lire and fur- liar, sir: a bar. a bar. l,lose capital prizes Health.

I I WW 1 . I T1 , . ..

tiicr heated, but not nearlv to Hip Justice Peas woman, neas. T " ea,m or " isdom, that is the

r ' J . . - - - c l .

usual we dinsr heats and on rklv. tot hid you to hold vour tongue. um. ur lounnanon lor securing

on withdrawing them, they are to Mary Blab-I swans, sir. what an oi oniaining euner oi

1 tnem.

m r until the welding is perfect looked through the window, and

saw her take it, tor I was at that

time li ving bacon for my bus

band s dinner

Justice Frying bacon! wo

man was you frying bacon?

Mary Yes, sir. and some cab-

Xat. Gazette

From the Frederick (Md. Citizen Some years ago, a gentleman in a neighboring state who had long desired to figure in the im

portant capacity of a magistrate. naSc tor my husband's dinner

was at length srratified. bv beinrr desired me.

f o r duly appointed. The fust step after bis initiation, was to procure the Acts relating to Justices of the Peace, which he sent to a bookseller tor in a note couched in the following terms "nr Pratt sm the Ax re-Latin to A gust us Peas." The dealer in boks understood it, and accor

u'ngiv seni me wx. wiiicn our

new magistrate commenced hew- I by frying bacon is a high mis

ing at the law with wonderful damncr by law. and you shall

skill and ability. He furnished btfthgotothe gul house and be bis otTice with a long table, at the banged. Mr. Constable take

head of which was an a? m chair. ucm into cursetodav, and do you

cushioned, for himself, and beside J"n Scrub, make out their mit

it a plain chair, for his man John tmiouse, 'or they shall go to goal

Scrub, who oilieiated in the don- us instant.

ble capacity of stable boy and Nonstable U ell. squire, what

I m 111..... '

crk to his squireship Tlie Ax, shal1 t do with Dorothy Lightfin i old bible, tied together with a StT?

6trmg. an inkstand, pens anil pa- Justice U, charge her and let

per composed the other parauher- her go about her business.

03113. John's naws scrawled out a

Justice Where the woman's

husband?

Thomas Blab Here, 'squire,

at your w ill.

justice uicl you desire your

wite to fry bacon for your dinner?

Thomas Yes sir, and with

some cabbage.

Justice Ah! here's a plot found out; here's a miscoverv!

"He that would thrive Must rise by Five; He that has thriven May lie till Seven." Instances may be found (but very seldom) of persons, who have set up late becoming wealthy, but they have paid for it the

, he unwise price of their health You

iiunmi it iiiriiiut I i-Mie ooinary example of a sluggard having ever obtained one of those blessings of life. "Shake off dull sloth and

early rise There is no tinr so stupidly as that which inconsider

ate people pass in a morning between sleeping and waking. He who is awake may be to work or at play; he who is asleep is receiving the refreshment necessary to fit him for action; but the hours spent in dozing and slumbering are wasted without either pleasure or profit. The sooner you leave your bed the seldomer you will be confined to it. When old people have been examined in order to ascertain the cause of their longevity, they have uniformly agreed in one thing only, that they "all went to bed and all rose early."

Cato pleaded four hundred causes! and gained them all.

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