Western Sun & General Advertiser, Volume 14, Number 48, Vincennes, Knox County, 27 December 1823 — Page 4

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Poetical.

FROM Till'. BOSTON" J'ALADIl'M. O tdl mr not that Whir ivill sfj'i. O t Jl ivc not that wine will sooth The heart deprest with woe; O 11 me not that wine will south irin Penury's hazard b:ow. Fov tUo-ih its wave may beam as tir.ut As evening's brilliant star, It e uuiot gild misfortune's night. Or calm the sinner's fear. O u M me not that beauty's smile ( That y.xiw of cloudless morn) Can black Pespair of woe beguile. Or blunt Alil,;;t!on's thorn. For though awhile its beams may play Where health arid pleasure bloom, Disease will shroud a pleasing ray It shines not in the tomb. O tell me not that fame can give The cankered conscience peace; O tell me not that fame can live hen hope and life shall cease; For though it points where honor bleeds, And bid the bosom burn, Vet as the lightning swift, recedes, When time hath grasped his urn. But tell me that Religion's ray, Can light the soul toheaen, O tell me this can point the way To him on quicksands driven, And I'll believe; for well I know Inn this alone can save, Th it this can chase the clouds of woe, Aad gild the peasant's grae. ALBERT. KLEGY ONT ADDISON. He taught us how to iiv e; and, oh! too high T ie ."ice of kuoA', -.1 v ,t night us how' to die wm o : ge. -? A i l-'xtemp rary ermon. preach ed hrj the desire oftxvo scholars, be 'r lovers oj ale out of a hoi low free BitLtiYKD T crave your rev civ-; addition 1 am a little man. c one at a?h rt warning, to preach a rt sermon, upon a s nail ub

K cct. to a thin congregation, in an

15 -loved -Mv ?ext is M A L T; therefore I cannot divide ii into sentences, f r ir is none; nor in syllables, it being no more than dv s ilaole; wherefore, necessity enforeeth met divide it into let tei - which I find m mv Text to be f mr M V Lr;-M mv be loved. i M ral A. i Allegori cat j is Literal T is Theolo &ii d The moral part of whi'di vilS set fonli to teach you drun k i ds good manners; wherefore. INI ri v masters. A all of you; L. listen. T. to my text The A He goiieal is when one thing is spoken of. and another thing is meant to- fiing spoken of is 3Ialt, the thi.ig meant is Ale of Malt, or sii-'iig Beer w-iich vour rustieks im M. nvat. A. annarel. L. liberty, T Treasure. The literal is according to tne letter; M. much., A. Aic L. little. T. Thirst, nvach. a.e, little, thirst Tne T icologieal is according to the effects it v.rUetii which I fiV.d in my text to be of two kinds; first, in t lis world; secondly in the w rid to come: the effects which it v uketh in this world are M m rder A adultci v. L lieenti-ou-ness, T. treason ; the elVe ts w lich it w rketn in ti e world to c me are M misery A. angui-b L, lament aiion, T. torment. W Of eiet re. M my mas' ers, A a!: von. L, leave IV tipling; n way ot application. M. ii - - n master-. A. all of you. L. lo tor. T torment o much shall suffice, for this p'e-e.it time and 'IVxt. Only tacet'.iis by way of caution, t.ia the iro.iisaiit is the annoyance of mo -tv.the tronb e of civility t e mil nf wealth, the detruc ti i rcaso mg; thebivwersa gen ,t e aie.iouV benelactor,the hi .gar- compinion, ih.e cons'.a b e - iniuble. Iih own wil'e Wte. Its c.il. liens -urr ,w. .1 iv:iL'ii 5 U I . I I Ui) a i 1 ! e 1 1 1 1 e tit .ii ;i.l ; nuiiici ul a man. ' - . - - - - A.UE.N.

PROFESSOR OF SIGNS;

Or, two nvzys of telling a story. King James VI. on removing to London, was waited upon by tl-t Spanish ambassador, a vman of erudition, but who had a chct in hi head that every com.itry should have a professor of Signs, to tea aen him, and the like of him, to understand one another. Tiie ambassador was lamenting one day before the king, this oreat desideratum throughout all Europe, when the king, who was : a queerish sort of a man says to mn k Why. I have a Professor of si"'nsat the fuithermost college of my dominions, viz: at Aberdeen;

hut it is a vast way off, perhaps gers. to sav that theie wet e but j less; the eye e.b:n:tcd no sensa600 miles" Were it ten thou three eves between us and then It tion of vision, but t::c vita! nri.iei-

-and leagues off I shall see him." t says the ambassador, -and am de termined to set out in two or ; three days " The king caw he had commk ted himself, and writes to the Uhr,. versity of Aberdeen, stating the i case and desiring the Professors j to put him off some way, or make j the best of him I he ambassa j dor arrives, is received with great solemnity but soon began to en quire wliich of them had the hon or to be professor of signs? Me wa told the professor was absent in the Highlands, and would not return no body could tell when; 'Well." says the ambassador, tkI will wait his return though it were twelve months." Seeing that this would not do. and that theyfad him to maintain at agreatexpLtse all the while theyr contrived the following stratagem: There was one Grdy, a butcher, blind of an eve. a droll fellow, with much wit and roguery about him He is sent for. told the storv, and inst ructed to act the part of a pro fessor of signs, but not to speak on pain of death The task was undei taken by Geordy with the utmost readiness. The amhasado is now told that the professor of signs would be home the next day, at which he rejoiced greatly Geordy is gowned, wigged. and placed in a chair of state in a room of the colfege. all the professors and the ambassador being in an aj&jjuiing room The ambassador is nw shown into Geordy "s room, anrj. left to conveise with him as well as he could; the whole of the pro feasors waiting the issue with fear and trembling The ambassador holds up one of his fingers to Geordy" Geordy holds up iw o of his; the ambassador holds jp three; Geordy clenches bis fist and looks stern. The ambassador then takes an orange out of his pocket, and holds it up; Geor dv then takes a piece of barley ake from his pocket, and holds i hat up After which the ambas sa ior bows to him. and ictires to the other professors, who anxious v inouired his opinions of their brother "'lie is a perfect miracle V. ...uuuur,, i wuiu not give him tor the wealth ot the I odies "Well." says the profes -ors. -to descend to particular.' -Why." says the ambassador, "I first held up one finger, denoting that there was one God; beheld up two. signifying thaSthese are the Father and the SIi&eld up th. ee meaning the Kit her. Son i it i i i ii i i and Holv Ghost; he c enchp. hi ". , . " 7 " "J ... u.ai vure were one. I turn took out an ora ie. t simt vhmt the Tnnflncc rvf r - n v. vi ; i. v 1 I lie r.i.i(. .......... i . . , the coinlorts but the luxuries f Ul(H( 9 III! in Iv

life; upon which the wonderful !

man presented a mece oi ineau. showing that it is the stall ot lite, ,and preferable to every luxury. : The professors were very glad i that matters had turned out so ! well; so having got quit of the ambassador, they next got Geor dv. to hear his verson ot the signs. -Well Geordy. how have you jcome on. and what think you of 1 von man! '-The racal., aid Geordw ''what did he do first. think ve? lie held np one fin rer as much as to say. you have but one eye! Then I held up two. meaning that my one was per haps as good as both his. Then the fellow held up three of his fin was so mad at the scoundrel that I sleeked mv nie.ve and was goinn to come a whack on the lue

of his head, and would ha done it more perceptible. The physitoo. but for yuur sakes Then! eian who had attended during her

the rascal did not slop with bis j provieations here, but forsooth an orange, as much as to say, your poor beggarly cold country cannot produce that! but I showed him a whang of a bear bannock, meaning that I didna care a far thing for him. nor his trash nei ther. as lang's I had that! But by all that's guid (concluded Geordy) I'm sorry yet that I lidna thrash the hide o the scoundrel!" STIMULATED D 15 AT II A ve ry extraordinary case of this na tore occurrt d a few days aafo. at Hammersmith, in the person of Harriet mith.a young womao of interesting apjiearance. who served as hoiemaid in he family of llobert Emmerson. Esq of Oxford street. This girl, ii seems, had about three years ago. been thrown from the top of a stage coach, and received many severe contusions, both internal and external, which seriously affected her strength, and brought on a gradual decay of nature. Being incapable of performing her or dinary business she relinquished het situation, and obtai -ed an asylum beneath the roof of a female relative at Hammersmith Here, notwithstanding her total ces-a tion from ad corpnreal labor, her complaint still advanced; she eve y day grew weaker, and was frequently subject to long fain tings Through the kiiKTatten tion of some ladies with whom! she had formerly lived every aid that eminent professional advice could afford was rendered to her. with a constant supply of such necessaries aod comforts as her help less situation demanded. On Thursday week she hud been taken out for an airing, and return ed home with rene wed strength, and in rather better spirits than usual. After taking some re h esiiment, she complained of ex cessive lnchnatio; I u- ...r ill ep. and i ii it ween the hours o( six unL ) tieu he en in tne atternoon .t w Je atTfHwnt enjoyment of sound repose, she remained until a wr far advanced h..ur the following dav. when, on attempting to rouse her, she was found to be quite cold; her lips were colourless, and her eves glazed; all nulsaiinn h:fl every thing bore testimony to th, , , . .. .. V V t I Kl , r r.,,i a , . i "- kji i ucmi oyer ueat i i..... , . i iai unices in ifr inw...., m m - Oltiee ti u inch are directed lv deccnev .!.,. . I . 7 . I Uas aimed in thp ikii:U clothes and laid on a bed whe e .1.1 i . . . it ni. i. ..v: ... ." ' "l 1 , " i ,lu,V uu -

til Sunday morning, the afternoon

ui wun,n ua a u.cu ior uic interment Happily, however th; horrible event, which we fear occurs but too often, was frustrated. On the removal of the body from the bed to the coffin, one of the persons engaged inadvertantly placed her hand on the h;f-om, and fancying its touch imparted u sensation far nvre warm than thrj damp and clayey feci i f a corpse, she naturally expressed her opinion to those who were assisting i.i the melancholy office; a elg? r examination convinced thrm they were about to commit to the cold ! gra e a living subject The cheeks and lips were still livid and colorpie reigned about the region of the heart, and on the applica ion of a glas breathing was ours illness was instantly sent for; on ms annul signs oi returning atiimar ion were4 so mamiest. that hj concluded bleeding and the application of wa: m bricks would lie productive d" immediate restoration He therefore opened a vain, first in ot.e a'tn. and then in the otUec." but without offer t; every other etVut proved equally unavailing until ab ut five o'clock in the evening, when a rapid change took place; the throbbing of the heart and the pulse became audible the checks and hps par iallv regained their crimson, respiration returned with ease and vigor, and in a few moments all the a imal powers assumed their functions Amusing. An Irishman and E'lgii-hman falling out. tiie Hibernian told him if he did not hold his tongue he would bieak his impenetrable head, and let tne brains out of his empty s.udl. A clergyman, preaching in the neighborhood of Wapping. England, and observing that mo-t of hisaudie.ice were in the seafaringway, very properly embeiiss ed his discourse with several nautical tropes and figures. Among other things, he advised them to be ever on tiie watch, so that, on whatever ArA; t.:e devil simnld beer down upon them he might be crinpied in the actio. i Ay, master, died a jolly son of XepUu.e, ,ul let me tell you. that will depend upon nawng the weather Time of nun. anecdote. As the passengers ol a stage were about to dine at the stage house, one of the guests tok the pepper-box from a castor, and nicely sifted it over a tine piece ot roasted beef A rrencn gentlemm oh: ervinir it. deliberately tool his .snutT br.v tromlns pocket, and bcspiinkled its contents likewise over th.c same piece ot beef 'Sir,' siid tiie hr?t patty, what do you meau.-' -Wnyar, I suppoe'sar, you love de pepper, and I sar love' de bimff' The table were thmwn loto a roar, and wiilingly consented locommute their roateii t)cef, lur the amu.emen; the manner uf its loss occasitjned. i x bad been in an engagement, "'rote to his owners acquainting them that he received hut lit-J? : V ,,aV" 'f , nanus .bounded in ttic iwse

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