Walkerton Independent, Volume 47, Number 32, Walkerton, St. Joseph County, 6 January 1922 — Page 2

The QUEEN PEA PIPATF^ *• & LVCTb & GIANTS,” By PETER B. KYNE Copyright, by Peter B. Kyne

REAL MONEY. Synopsis. — Captain Phineas P. Scraggs has grown up around the docks of San Francisco, and from mess boy on a river steamer, risen to the ownership of the steamer Maggie. Since each annual inspection promised to be the last of the old weatherbeaten vessel, Scraggs naturally has some difficulty In securing a crew. When the story opens, Adelbert P. Gibney, likable, but erratic, a man whom nobody but Scraggs would hire. Is the skipper, Neils Halvorsea, a solemn Swede, constitutes the forecastle hands, and Bart McGuffey, a wastrel of the Gibney type, reigns in the engine room. With this motley crew and his ancient vessel. Captain Scraggs is engaged in freighting garden truck from Halfmoon bay to San Francisco. The inevitable happens, the Maggie goes ashore in a fog. A passing vessel hailing the wreck. Mr. Gibney gets word to a towing company in San Francisco that the ship ashore is the Yankee Prince, with promise of a rich salvage. Two tugs succeed in pulling the Maggie into deep water, and she slips her tow lines and gets away in the fog. Furious at the deception practiced on them. Captains Hicks and Flaherty, commanding the two tugboats, ascertain the , identity of the “Yankee Prince" and, fearing ridicule should the facts become known along the water front, determine on personal vengeance. Their hostile visit to the Maggie results in Captain Scraggs promising to get a new boiler and make needed repairs to the steamer. Scraggs refuses to fulfill his promises and Gibney and McGuffey “strike.” With marvelous luck, Scraggs ships a fresh crew. At the end of a few days of wild conviviality Gibney and McGuffey are stranded and seek their old positions on the Maggie. They are hostilely received, but remain. On their way to San Francisco they sight a derelict and Gibney and McGuffey swim to it. The derelict proves to be the Chesapeake, richly laden, its entire crew stricken with scurvy. Scraggs attempts to tow her in, but the Maggie is unequal to the task and Gibney and McGuffey, alone, undertake to sail the ship to San Francisco. 4 . 1 =g CHAPTER VI.-Continued. The ship lay in the wind, shivering. Mr. Gibney was here, there, everywhere. One minute he was dashing along the deck with a leading line, the next he was laying out aloft. He ordered himself to do a thing and then, with the pent-up energy of a thousand devils, he did it. The years of degradation as navigating officer of the Maggie fell away from him, as he sprang, agile and half-naked, into the shrouds; a great, hairy demigod or sea-goblin he lay out along the yards and sprang from place to place with the old exul- _ _ tent thrill of youth and joy in. his work.„ A word, a gesture, from Mr. Gibney, *end McGuffey would pounce on a rope like a bull-dog. With the fore-royal set, Mr. Gibney ran back to the wheel and put it hard over. There being no after sail set the bark swung off readily on to her course, slipping through the water at a nice eight-knot speed. Ten miles off the coast, Mr. Gibney hung her up in the wind again, braced his yards with the aid of the winch and McGuffey, came about and headed north. At three o’clock she cleared the lightship and wore around to come in over the bar, steering east by south, half-south, for Point Bonita. She drew the full advantage of the wind now and over the bar she came, ramping full through the Gate with her yards squared, on the last of the flood tide. As they passed Lime point, Mr. Gibney prepared to shorten sail and like a clarion blast his voice rang through the ship. “Clew up them royals.” He lashed the wheel and they brought the clewlines again to the winch head. The ship was falling off a little before the fore-royal was clewed up, so Mr. Gibney ran back to the wheel and put her on her course again while McGuffey brought the main-royal clewlines to the winch. Again Gibney made the •wheel fast and helped McGuffey clew rup the main-royal; again he set her on her course while McGuffey, following instructions, made ready to clew ftp the fore-to’-gallan’-s’l. They were Abreast Black Point before this latter sail was clewed up, and then they 'smothered the lower top-s’ls; the bark was slipping lazily through the water and McGuffey took the wheel. “Starboard a little! Steady-y-y! Keep her as she heads,” Gibney warned and cast off the jib halyards. The jibs slid down the stays, hanging as they fell. They were well up toward Meiggs wharf now and it devolved upon Mr. Gibney to bring his prize in on the quarantine ground and let go his port anchor. Fortunately, the anchor was already cock-billed. Mr. Gibney sprang to the fore-top-sail halyards and let them go and the fore-top-sail came down by the run. “Hard-a-starboard ! Make her fast, Bart, an’ come up here an’ help me with the anchor. Let go the main-top-sall halyards as you come by an’ stand by the compressor on the windlass." The Chesapeake swung slowly, broadside to the first of the ebb and with the wind on her port beam, Mr. Gibney knocked out the stopper with his trusty hammer and away went the rusty chain, singing through the hawsepipe. “Snub her gently. Mac, snub her gently, an’ give her the thir-ty-fathom shackle to the water’s edge,” 1 he warned McGuffey. The bark swung until her bows we-e ■ straightened to the ebb tide and with > a wild, triumphant yell Mr. Gibney 1 clasped the honest McGuffey to his "Perspiring bosom. The deed was done ! ft was dark, however, before they iad all the sails snugged up shipshape, although in the meantime the qua ran tine launch had hove alongside, in restituted, and removed those of the

crew who still lived. Shortly thereafter the coroner came and removed the dead, after which Gibney and McGuffey hosed down the deck, located some hard tack and coffee, supped and turned in in the officers’ quarters. In the morning, Scab Johnny arrived in a launch with their other clothes (Mr. Gibney having thoughtfully sent him ten dollars on account of their old board bill, together with a request for the clothes), and when the agents of the Chesapeake sent a watchman to relieve them they went ashore and had breakfast. After breakfast, they called at the office of the agents, where they were complimented on their daring seamanship and received a check for one thousand dollars each. “Well, now,” McGuffey declared, after they had cashed their checks, "Seein’ as how I’ve become independently wealthy by following your lead, Adelbert, all 1 got to say is that I’m a-goin’ to stick to you like a limpet to a rock. What’ll we do with our money?” For the first time in his checkered career Mr. Gibney had a sane, sensible, and serious thought. “Has it ever occurred to you, Mac, how much nicer it is to have a few dollars in the bank, good clothes on your back, an’ a credit with your friends? Me, all my lite I been a come-easy, go-easy, come-Sunday,-God’ll-send-Monday sort o’ feller, until in my forty-second year I’m little better’n a beachcomber. So now, when you ask me what I’m goin' to do with my money, I’ll tell you. I’m going to save it, after first payin up about seventy-five bucks I owe here an’ there along the Front. I’m through drinkin’ an’ raisin’ h —ll. Me for a savings bank, Bart.” CHAPTER VIL When Captain Scraggs, after abandoning all hope of salving the bark Chesapeake, returned to the Maggie, the little craft reminded him of nothing so much as the ward for the incorrigible of an insane asylum. Due to Captain Scraggs’ stupidity and the general inefficiency of the Maggie, the new navigating officer was of the opinion that he had been swindled out of his share of the salvage, while the new engineer, furious at having been engaged to baby such a ruin as the Maggie’s boiler turned out to be, blamed Scraggs’ parsimony for the loss of his share of the salvage. Therefore, both men aired with the utmost frankness their opinion of their employer. One word borrowed another until diplomatic relations were severed and, in the language of the classic, they “mixed it.” They were fairly well matched, and, to the credit of Captain Scraggs be it said, whenever he believed himself to have a fighting chance Scraggs would tight and fight well, under the Tom-cat rules of fisticuffs. Following a bloody battle in the pilot house, he subdued the mate; following his victory he was still war mad, so he went to the engine-room hatch and abused the engineer. As a result of the day’s events, both men quit when the Maggie was tied - up at Jackson street wharf and once more Captain Scraggs was helpless. In his extremity, he wished he hadn’t been so hard on Mr. Gibney and McGuffey, for he realized he could never hope to ger them back until their salvage money should be spent. Godless and wholly Irreclaimable as Mr. Gibney and Mr. McGuffey might have been and doubtless were, each possessed in bounteous measure the sweetest of human attributes, to-wit: a soft, kind heart and a forgiving spirit. Creatures of impulse both, they found it absolutely impossible to nourish a grudge against Captain Scraggs, when, upon returning to Scab Johnny's boarding house, their host handed them a grubby note from their enemy. It was short and sweet and sounded quite sincere; Mr. Gibney read it aloud: “On Board the Maggie, Saturday night. “Dear Friends: lam sorry. You hurt me awful with your kidden when you took the Chesapeake away from me. To er is human but to forgive is devine. After what I done I don’t expect you two to come back to work ever but for God's sake don’t give me the dead face when we meat agin. Remember we been shipmates once. “B. P. Scraggs.” “Why, the pore ol’ son of a horse thief.” Mr. Gibney murmured, much moved at this profound abasement. “Os course we forgive him. It ain’t manly to hold a grouch after the culprit has paid his fair price for his sins. By an’ large, I got a hunch. Bart, that old Scraggsy’s had his lesson for once.” “If you can forgive him. I can, Gib. ’ “Well, he’s certainly cleaned himself handsome. Bart. Telephone for a messenger boy,” and Mr. Gibney sat down and wrote: “Scraggsy, old fanciful, we're square. Forget it and come to breakfast with us at seven tomorrow at the Marigold case. I’ll order deviled lam kidneys for three. It’s alright with Bart also. “Yours, “Gib.” This note, delivered to Captain Scraggs by the messenger boy. lifted the gloom from the latter’s miserable soul and sent him home with a light heart to Mrs. Scraggs. At the Marigold case next morning he was almost touched to observe that both Gibney and McGuffey showed up arrayed in dungarees, wherefore Scraggs knew his late enemies purposed proceeding tithe Maggie immediately after breakfast and working in the engine room ail day Sunday. Such action, when lie knew both gentiemen to be the possessors of wealth far beyond the dreams of avarice, bordered s<, closely on the miraculous that Scraggs made

a mental resolve to play fair in the future—at least as fair as the limits of his cross-grained nature would permit. He was so cheerful and happy that McGuffey, taking advantage of the situation, argued him into some minor repairs to the engine. About nine o'clock, as Mr. Gibney was on his way to the Marigold Case for bieakfast, he was mildly interested, while passing the Embarcadero warehouse, to note the presence of fully a dozen seedy-looking gentlemen of undoubted Hebraic antecedents, congregated in a circle just outside the warehouse door. There was an air of suppressed excitement about this group of Jews that aroused Mr. Gibney’s curiosity; so he decided to cross over and investigate, being of the opinion that possibly one of their number had fallen in a fit. He had once had an epileptic shipmate and was peculiarly expert in the handling of such cases. Now, if the greater portion of Mr. Gibney’s eventful career had not been spent at sea, he would have known, by the reti flag that floated over the door, that a public auction was about to take place, and that the group of Hebrew gentlemen constituted an organization known as the Forty Thieves, whooe business it was to dominate the bidding at all auctions, frighten off, or buy off, or outbid all competitors, and eventually gather unto themselves, a* their own figures, all goods offered for sale. In the center of the group Mr. Gibney noticed a tall, lanky individual, evidently the leader, who was issuing instructions in a low voice to his henchmen. This Individual, though Mr. Gibney did not know it, wns the King of the Forty Thieves As Mr. Gibney luffed Into view the king eyed him with suspicion. Observing this, Mr. Gibney threw out his magnificent chest, scowled at the king, and stepped into the warehouse for all the world as if lie owned it. An oldish man with glasses—the auctioneer —was seated on a box making figures in a notebook. Him Mr. Gibney addressed. “What’s all this here?” tie inquired, jerking his thumb over h’s shoulder at the group. “It’s an old horse sale.” replied the auctioneer, without looking up, Mr. Gibney brightened. He glanced around for the stock in trade, but observing none concluded that the old horses would be led in. one at a time, through a small door in the rear of “Hard-a-Starboard! Make Her Fast, Bart.” the warehouse. Like most sailors. Mr Gibney had a passion for horseback riding, and in a spirit of adventure he resolved to acquaint himself with the ins and outs of an old horse sale. “How much might a man have to give for one of the critters?” he asked. “And are they worth a whoop after you get them?” “Twenty-five cents up,” was the answer. “You go it blind at an old horse sale, as a rule. Perhaps you get something that’s worthless, and then again you may get something that has heaps of value, and perhaps you only pay half a dollar for it. It all depends on the bidding. I once sold an old horse to a chap and he took it home and opened it up, and what dye suppose he found inside?” “Bots," replied Mr. Gibney, who prided himself on being something ot a veterinarian, having spent a few months of his youth around a livery stable. “A million dollars in Confederate greenbacks.” replied the auctioneer. “Os course they didn’t have any value, but just suppose they’d been U. S?" “That’s right,” agreed Mr. Gibnet. “1 °uppose the swab that owned tl •• horse starved it until the poor animal figgered that all’s grass that’s green As tli? feller says, ‘Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.’ If you throe in a saddle and bridle cheap. I might he induced to invest in one qf your old horses, shipmate.” The auctioneer glanced quickly at Mr. Gibney, but noticing that worthy’s face free from guile, ne burst out laughing. “My sea-faring friend ” ho sai 1 I presently, “when we use rhe term ‘old I horse,’ we use it figuratively. See ah jfhls freight stored here? Well, that s j : never been called for by the consign, i ees, and after it's in the warehouse i a year ami isn’t called for we have ' in old horse sale ami auction it aft to the highest bidder. Savey?”

Mr. Gibney took refuge in a lie. “Os course, I do. I was just kiddin’ you. my hearty.” (Here Mr. Gibney’s glance rested on two long heavy sugarpine boxes, or shipping cases. Their joints at all four corners were cunningly dove-tailed and wire-strapped ) “I was a bit Interested in them two boxes, an’ seein’ as this is a free country, I thought I’d just step in an’ make a bld on them," and with the words, Mr. Gibney walked over and busied himself in an inspection of the two crates in question. The fact of the matter was that so embarrassed was Mr. Gibney at the exposition of his ignorance that he desired to hide the confusion evident in his sun-tanned face. So he stooped over the crates and pretended to be exceedingly interested in them, hauling and pushing them about and reading the address of the consignee who had failed to call for his goods. The crates were both consigned to the Gin Seng company, 714 Dupont street, San Francisco. There were several Chinese characters scrawled on the top of each crate, together with the words, in English : “Oriental Goods.” As he ceased from his fake inspection of the two boxes, the King of the Forty Thieves approached and surveyed the sailor with an even greater amount of distrust and suspicion than ever. Mr. Gibney was annoyed. He disliked being stared at, so he said: “Hello, Blumenthal, my bully boy. What’s aggravatin’ you?” Blumenthal (sinee Mr. Gibney, in the sheer riot of his imagination elected to christen him Blumenthal, the name will probably suit him as well as any other) came close to Mr Gibney and drew him aside. In a hoarse whisper he desired to know if Mr. Gibney attended the auction with the expectation of bidding on any of the packages offered for sale. Seeking to justify his presence, Mr. Gibney advised that it was his intention to bid on everything in sight; whereupon Blumenthal proceeded to explain to Mr. Gibney how Impossible It would be for him, arrayed against the Forty Thieves, to buy any article at a reasonable price. Further: Blumenthal desired to Inform Mr. Gibney that his (Mr. Gibney's) efforts to buy In the “old horses" would merely result in his running the prices up, for no beneficent purpose, since It was ever the practice of the Forty Thieves to permit no man to outbid them. Perhaps Mr. Gibney would be satisfied with a fair day's profit without troubling himself to hamper the Forty Thieves and Interfere with their combination, ami with the wordS, the king surreptitiously slipped Mr. Gibney a fifty-dollar greenback. Mr. Gibney’s great fist closed over the treasure, he having first, by a coy glance, satisfied himself that It was really fifty dollars. He shook hands with the king. He said: "Blumenthal, you're a smart man. I- am quite content with this fifty to keep off your course and give you a wide berth to starboard. I'm sensible enough to know when I’m licked, an’ a fight without profit ain't in my line. I didn’t make my money that way, Blumenthal. I’ll east off my lines and haul away from the dock," and suiting the action to the figure, Mr. Gibney dey rted. , He vein first to the Seaboard drug store, where he quizzed the druggist for five minutes, after which he continued his cruise. Upon reaching the Maggie he proceeded to relate in detail, and with additional details supplied by his own imagination, the story of his morning adventure. “Gib,” said McGuffey enviously, "you're a fool for luck.” "Luck," said Mr. Gibney, beginning to expand, “is what the feller calls a relative proposition—” “You're wrong. Gib." interposed Captain Scraggs. “Relatives is unlucky an’ expensive. Take, f'r instance, Mrs. Scraggs’ mother—” "I mean, you lunkhead,” said Mr. Gibney, “that luck is found where brains grow. No brain, no luck. No luck, no brains. Lemme illustrate. A thievin’ land shark makes me a present o’ fifty dollars not to butt in on them two boxes I'm tollin’ you about. Him an’ his gang wants them two boxes. Fair crazy to get ’em. Now, don’t it stand to reason that them fellers knows what’s in them boxes, or they wouldn't give me fifty dollars to haul ship? Os course, it does. However, in order to earn that fifty dollars, I got to back water. It wouldn't be playin' fair if I didn’t. But that don’t prevent me from puttin’ two dear friends o’ mine (here Mr. Gibney encircled Scraggs and McGuffey with an arm each) next to the secret which I discovers, an’ if there’s money in it for old Hooky that buys me off, it stands to reason that there’s money in it for us three. What’s to prevent you an McGuffey from goin’ up to this old horse sale an’ biddin’ in them two boxes for the use and benefit of Gibney. Scraggs an’ McGuffey, all share an’ share alike? You can bid as high as a hundred dollars, if necessary. an’ still come out a thousand dollars to the good. I’m fellin’ you this because I know what’s in them Iwo boxes." McGuffey was staring fascinated at Mr. Gibney. Captain Scraggs clutched his mate’s arm in a frenzied clasp. “What?” they both interrogated. “You two hoys." continued Mr. Gibney with aggravating deliberation “ain’t what nobody would call duin mies. You’re smart men. But the trouble with both o’ you boys is you ain’t got no imagination. Without imagination nobody gets nowhere, unless It’s out th’ small end o th’ horn. Maybe you hoys ain’t noticed it. out my imagination is all that keeps me from goin’ to jail. Now. it you two had read the address on them two boxes, it wouldn't a’ meant nothin' to you. Absolutely nothin'. But with me it’s different. I’m blessed with imagination enough to see right through them Chinaman tricks. Them two boxes is marked Oriental Goods’ an' consigned (here Mr Gibney raised a grimy forefinger, and Scraggs and Me Guffey eyed it very much as if Huy expected it to go off at any moment) — them two boxes is consigned to the Gin Seng company, 714 Dupont street, San Francisco.” "Well, that’s up in Chinatown, all right.’ admitted Captain Scraggs. “hut how about what’s inside the two crates?"

“Oriental goods, as course,” said McGuffey. “They are consigned to a Chinaman, an’ besides, that’s what it says on the cases, don’t it, Gib? Oriental goods, Scraggs, Is silks an’ satins, rice, ehop suey, punk, an’ idols an’ fan tan layouts.” “If there ain’t Swiss cheese movements in that head block of yours, Mac, you and Scraggsy can divide my share o’ these two boxes o’ ginseng root between you. Do you get It, you chuckleheaded son of a Irish potato? Gin Seng, 714 Dupont street Ginseng —a root or a herb that medicine Is made out of. The dictionary says it’s a Chinese panacea for exhaustion, an’ I happen to know that it’s worth five dollars a pound an’ that them two crates weighs a hundred and fifty pounds each if they weighs an ounce.” His auditors stared at Mr. Gibney much as might a pair of baseball fans at the hero of a home run with two strikes and the bases full. “Gawd!” muttered McGuffey. "Great grief, Gib! Can this be possible?” gasped Captain Scraggs. For answer Mr. Gibney took out his fifty-dollar bill and handed It to —to McGuffey. He never trusted Captain Scraggs with anything more valuable than a pipeful of tobacco. “Scraggsy,” he said solemnly, "I’m willin’ to back my imagination with my cash. You an’ McGuffey hurry right over to the warehouse an’ butt In on the sale when they come to them two boxes. The sale is just about startin’ now. Go as high as you thtiA you can in order to get the ginseng at a profitable tigger, an’ pay the auctioneer fifty dollars down to hold the sale; that will give you boys time to rush around to dig up the balance o the money. Tack right along now, lads, while I go down the street an’ get me some breakfast. I don’t want Blumenthal to see me around that sale. He might get suspicious. After I eat I'll meet you here aboard th’ Maggie, an’ we'll divide the loot.” With a fervent handshake all around, the three shipmates parted. After disposing of a hearty breakfast of devilled lamb’s kidneys and coffee, Mr. Gibney Invested In a tencent Sailor’s Delight and strolled down to the Maggie. Neils Halvorsen, the lone deckhand, was aboard, and the moment Mr. Gibney trxl the Maggie's deck once more as mate, he exercised his prerogative to order Neils ashore for ‘he remainder of the day. Since Halvorsen was not in on the ginseng deal. Mr. Gibney concluded that It would be just as well to have him out of the way should Scraggs and McGuffey appear unexpectedly with the two cases of ginseng. “We’ll open her up and inspect the swag.” | (TO BE CONTINUED.) ARE DRAWN UP WITH WATER Simple Explanation of Showers of Fish Which Are Reported as Occasionally Occurring. Showers of fishes occasionally fall in different parts of the world, exciting great astonishment. Instances of this kind have occurred in England. On one occasion a shower of small threespined sticklebacks fell near MerthyrTydvil, in Wales, sprinkling the ground anil housetops over a large area. If caught up by a whirlwind from any of the brackish ponds near the sea. in which this species of fish abounds, they must have been conveyed through the air a distance of almost thirty miles. Another similar instance occurred at Torrens, in the Isle of Mull, in which I herrings were f^und strewed on a hill 500 yards from the sea and 100 feet . above it. Such downfalls ere more common in tropical countries. In India a shower of fishes varying from ", pound and a han to three pounds ip weight has been reported. Sometimes the fishes are living, more frequently they are dead, and sometimes dry or s nutrifying. They are always of kinds abundant in the sea or fresh waters of the neighborhood. The occurrence of i the phenomenon is readily explained by the partial vacuum and strong updraught produced in the center of a tornado. Such a whirling column, if passing over the surface of a lake or river or of the sea, may suck up a considerable quantity of the water along with any living creatures that may be in it. This may be carried for a coni siderable distance, and is discharged : ns a waterspout or cloudburst when Hie rotational energy of the whirl is expended. Home Brew Thirty Centuries Ago. For originating the art of home brewing the Persians claim credit. Thirty centuries ago, according to an account, King Jamshid had a great jar of grapes. Pressure of the top layers on those beneath squeezed out the juice, which fermented and became sour. One of the king’s wives, having learned of the liquid in the basement, which the king believed to be, and had inboied "poison" decided to use it end her life. Although she drank freely, instead of dying, she lost her despondency, and became unusually happy. The king could not understand her hilarity until she confessed. Thereafter, it is related, both the monarch and Ids court with frequent regularity “poisoned" themselves on home brew. One Order Stewed Beans. Stuart Dean, pump manufacturer, is a member of the Indianapolis Country dub. Recently Mr. Dean telephoned the club to arrange for a dinner. One of the Filipino servants answered the call. "This If Mr. Dean —Stuart Deau” the club man said ro the servant. “1 not understand good,” the servant said. “1 am Mr. Dean —Stuart Dean." “Olt. yes, yes. now 1 understt.nl yes, yes.” Tiie Filipino hung up the receiver, hurried to the kitchen ai.d said to the chef: “One order stewed beans!" —Indianapolis News. I One admires Ids photographer ati most as much as his doctor. Each i imuroves liiiu so much.

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Then the Fun Began. Voice (at the other end) — that you, darting? Gouty Father —Er—yes. Voice —Oh, good! How’s t> old boy’s gout, my pet? I mean say. If he still has it I’ll come roti tonight, but if he hasn't we’ll gout to some show. WHY DRUuGIstT RECOMEND SWAMP-ROOT For many years druggists hare wehed with much interest the remarkable cord I maintained by Dr. Kilmer’s Swamjioot, the great kidney, liver and bladdemedi- , cine. It is a physician's prescription. Swamp-Root is a strengthening nedicine. It helps the kidneys, liver anbladder do the work nature intendetthey should do. Swamp-Root has stood the test ofeais. It is sold by all druggists on itsnerit and it should help you. No other dney medicine has so many friends. Be sure to get Swamp-Root anotart treatment at once. However, if you wish first to te this great preparation send ten cents Dr. Kilmer & Co.. Binghamton. N. Y..'or a sample bottle. When writing be su and mention this paper.— Advertlsemer Not So Catching. “I hear your father is ill.’ "Yes, quite ill.” “Contagious disease?” “I hope not; the doctor says It’s overwork.”—Carnegie Puppet Watch Cuticura Improve Your kin. On rising and retiring gently sear the face with Cuticura Ointent. ■ Wash off Ointment in five mutes with Cuticura Soap and hot wat. It is wonderful what Cuticura wi do for poor complexions, dandruff, iting and red rough hands. —Advertiseent. From Abraham to Allenby. In the Book of Genesis it is toldow I Abraham dug “the Well of the Cth” i at Beersheba, and from time ime- [ mortal the Bedouins have wared I their flocks from the wells of Beeheba. The occupation of Palestinepas brought Twentieth century methof to the oldest country in the world, nd ' Abraham’s wells are now equbed with modern pumping machinery.

Western Onada Offers and Wealth id has brought contentment and happiness to thou- . | inds of home seekers and their families who have > ttled on her FREE homesteads or bought land at ~~ V tractive prices. They have established their own .5 toes ana secured presperity and independence. S’L S 1° the sreat grain-growing sections of the prairie B ■ovinces there is still to be had on easy terms Fertile Land at sls to S3O an Acre land similar to that which through many years 1 VmL- aa yielded from 20 to 45 bushels of wheat r WAj l iyr ’ t* l * acre—oats, barley and flax also in great L 1 US’ PBr lundance, while raising horses, cattle, sheep sX ad hogs is equally profitable. Hundreds of farm[Jkji 4 s in Western Canada have raised crops in a single trJwWK nson worth more than the whole cost of their Healthful climate, good neighbors, churches, I hools, rural telephone, excellent markets and 'ipping facilities. The climate and soil offer du cements for almost every branch of ' s triculture. The advantages for Dairying, Mixed Farming an< * Stock Raising jkeß lake a tremendous appeal to industrious set- ■ ers wishing to improve their circmr st antes. S ISbIS-- JaEd I Uinßtrsted iiteratrre. miro, ’escripto’ 'farm S I aP-Al I ^S^--wtoortunit>eß in Manitoba, .-askitcoewan. Alberts A Bntmo Columbia, redoeeU rsliwaj rate*. ^<^6 J - BROVGRTOX Room 411 UI W l*«nsSt-Chic«go.lU.J M MacLACHLAN 4 Jefferson Avenue, Deirmt. Mkiugao I AuoHsed AgsaC Dept. M liomlcrstlon anColoelxatlon, Pomlelon if CineSa ’ *1 4 «

History as She is Quoted The Woman was shopping in u tate street department store. She wited a hat. There were two others f the counter, shopping, without wating anything. The tall, thin one lifd a brown velvet tricornered shape t the light. “Pretty, ain’t it?” she asked her portly friend, who carried a boo under her arm. “Yes. very,” answered the frnd; “reminds me of Napoleon.” “Napoleon?” queried the tall one, whose fluffy hair covered a vad^m. “How and when Napoleon?” “Oh,” answered she of the boo’ with superior disdain. “Don t you now? । Napoleon crossing the Delawae I”— ' Chicago Journal. A healthy soul stands unltet’wlth the just and the true as the rngnet arranges itself with the pole. If you are ashamed or your ailing hire a boy to call for you.

Mark Twain Exposed a “Hog." A “call down” letter from Mark Twain to a London theatrical manager, Bram Stolser, recently was reprinted In part by the New York Times on the occasion of the sale of the letter in New York to an aut<> graph collector. It Is dated London, Nov. 2, 18U1, Mark Twain wrote: “M< object in writing this note Is to say to you that the large blond man with spectacles, who was selling seats in your box office this afternoon, grossly ' insulted my two daughters by his bru- | tai and surly behavior. Apparently their offense lay in asking to buy cheap tickets—4 shilling ones. Perhaps he can imitate a gentleman's gentleman when people apply for boxes. But la any case be is a hog, be was born a I hog and will die one. But he shall not die uncelebrated if I can help IL” The Critic. The brilliant Edgar Saltus cf unhappy memory sat in his club one afternoon when a widower entered. The widower, with a deep sigh, sank Into a chair, pressed a blackbordered handkerchief to his eyes and I groaned: “I tell you. Saltus, old man, a chap never realizes the full value of his wife till he loses her.” “True, true,” said Mr. Saltus, “and especially true if she was insured." Atwaus Plentu of Stretch W ~no rubber to rot wgk I ExcellO 4 / J] «’BBf BLESS SuspenderSZxw ■ GoarantKdOwW-FnceTS 4 Ask>ocr dealer for ^2 4^ V* Ntt-Way er Excello^* n1... W ftwranteed S<spendef3.6«rters art Hose Supporters Accept no substitutes — Look for narne on buckles. Nu-Way Strech Suspender Co. Mfrs. Adnan. Mich Frozen fancy, larg-e. dressed Herring. S« per pound. Remit with order or send so» complete list before baying elsewhere. CONSUMERS FISH CO.. Green Ba?, Wlu

Queer Eels of Hawaii. It has just >een announced from the Leland Stanfcrd, Jr., university, that as a result of the eruption of Mauna Loa. Hawaii. two years ago, six specimens of fish mtirely new to science were thrown tp^n the shore of the islands. One was a conger eel, with hooks on its snout, resembling black- : berry thorns. They were all deep-wa-iter fish, coming from a depth of 150 to 1.000 feet. Wise men <d(lvate the art of tak- lying things easy Bi colds ami EH || I HAH d ceid and la fnpyt end red b©v bevaf _ w rail and Kifaatare. Afr V t Hl-L CO. DETFOIT = - z— W. N. U.. CHICAGO. NO. 53-1921.