The Wabash Courier, Volume 22, Number 9, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 22 October 1853 — Page 1

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VOL. XXII. NO, 9.

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From tho New-York People's Orgaa. LAUGHTER. EV M. L. BKL.VSE*. I.aufhter'. 'tie a pleasant theme, flringingback a happy dream Of the day »-of early youth, ... Daya of innocence and truth. "Ha! ha ha!'' 1 hear therinsing

Of that mingled laugh and flinging, Though, aince then, long yeara ha7e fled Like a ahadow o'er my head.

Laughter! 'tis Hope'slivingvoice, Bidding u» to make our choice. And to cull from thorny bowers, leaving thorns and taking flowers. "Ifa! ha! ha!" sweet Hope la singing,

All her cholceat blessings bringing We'll be wise receiving gladly. How could we receive ihem sadly-

Taughter!

'tis a mother's joy,

To behold it in her boy, When he firft essays to run, Independent type of fun. "Ha ha! ha!" the babe's donecie«ping-,

Falls may change that laugh to weeping But fond Hope will say "cease crying," Laugh again and keep on trying.

Laughter Mia a healing balm, tlood to bring a peaceful calm To the sorrow broeding soul, Then, Oh! let it's echoes roll.

Laughter sometiutes cheers the drooping, Holds erect the form that's stooping, Tends to drive the mist away That conceals a brighter day.

Laughter the lr*e "poor man's plaatar," Covering up each sad disaster Laughing, he forgets his troubles Which though resl.seem but bubbles,

Tells his stories, keeps on joking, As. though poor 'twere not provoking And he.smiles a parent's blessing On his loving child's caressing.

I JI tighter! tis a seal of nature. Stamped upon the human creature, Laughter, whether loud or mute, Teils the human kind from brute.

And the one who never smile*, fJe'er the tedious hour beguiles But repels his friends who can, More like sullen beast than man-

THE BRIDGE OF TRAUN.

A O

Tho French army was now approaching tho river Traun, one of the tributaries of the Danube. Napoleon decided to cross it at several points some miles distant from each other. Massena.wiih several thousand men, advanced to the Traun, opposite Ebersburg. Hero occut red ono of ihe most ex vacant acts of reckless courage, and one of the most revolting scenes oHtuman butchery recorded in military history. This river was very broad, and was crossed by a narrow bridge 1200 feet in length. At the father end of the bridge was an es carped- plateau. Above it rose the little town or libersburg, surmounted* by a strong castle which was bristling with cannon. In front of the bridge, on the escarpment o( the plateau, nearly 40,« 1)00 men wefte drawn up in the line of battle. The bridge at its western extremity was enfilated by houses all filled with mjHtcteq£Si formidable array of artillery, •sprosed on the heights •bove, commanded the whole extent of the frail structure. The bridge was of wood, and by the implication of the torch would Immediacy ha^e been enjr&ldpcd tn flames. The Austrians, howevor, deemed its putties ao utterly Impossible, that they did not suppose that the French would even attempt it.

But tflii impetuous Massert* delayed not a moment, ife ordered an immediate charge, as he feared that an hours delay" might intjuce th^ Austrians to blow up the bridge. General Cohorn a man of diminutive stature, but of the moit Intensely foroeful and Impetuous spirit, placed himself at the head of his brigade. At double quick step the dense column pressed along the bridge. An ^unexampled scene of horror ensued.—

Ths troops were soon enveloped in a cloud of smoke. A storm of grape-shot canister swept mutilation and death through tfeair tanks. Two or thr«e am munition-wagefos blew up in the midst '•#. xf struggling throng, and scattered awfal carnage around. The bridge was soon so encumbtrad with the wounded and the dead that' Msasena deemed hknself driven to the horrible necessity 'of commanding fmh troop* that camo up to ton their mangled and strtag^iBg cgterades into tha *«alien torrent that a wept (crioosly below. Those who parformed thU revolting service were, soon struck down themselves, and treated in the same manner. There waa no alternative. But for ibis dreadful measure the bridge would SOOQ have become utterly impartsbie. and all upon tl would ^jave perished. Enveloped in amoke,

«p\

deafened with the roar of battle, and with shots, shells and bullets mowing down their ranks, these veteran soldiers who* in becoming veterans, had almost ceased to be men, pressed sternly on, trampling upon severed limbs, wading through blood, and

throwing

their woun­

ded and beseeching comrades into the surging flood. Well might the Duke of Wellington say/A man of refined Christian sensibilities is totally unfit for the profession of a soldier." through this frightful storm of shot the French rushed along, till they reached the gate at the farther end of the bridge. Here the whole head of the column was swept away. Those in the rear, however, rushed on over their mangled comrades, dashed down the gates, and drove their foes before them. The Austrians retreated through the streets, setting fire to the houses, ond disputing «very inch of ground. The French struggled on, trampling on the bodies of the dead and wounded of either army- In the blazing streets the conflict raged with unparalleled ferocity.— Ebersburg was at last taken. It was. however, but a heap of smoking ruins. The town was so much in flames that the wounded could not he withdrawn. The blazing rafters fell on those wretched victims of war, and shrieking in agony, their mangled limbs were slowly consumed by the fire. Their hideous cries blended with the hateful clamor of these demoniac scenes. An intolerable stench of burning corpses filled the air. Still through the blazing streets, and over the mangled and blackened fragments of human bodies, the French rushed on with horse and artillery, and am-muniiion-wngAs, crushing flesh and bones, and cinders, and blood mingled mire into a hideous mass of corruption. The Austrians, appalled at such incredible daring, suddenly retired. leaving six thousand of the slain behind ihem.— Napoleon, at a distance, heard the loud cannonade. Me spurred his horse to the scene of the conflict. Accustomed as he hod long been to the horrors of wor, he was shocked at the awful spectacle. Though admiring the desperate daring of Massena. he could not refrain from testifying his displeasure at the carnage which might, perhaps have been avorted by wailing for an attack upon the flank of the enemy by the corps of Lannes which had passed the river a few miles above.

Napoleon, accompanied by.Savary, entered the smouldering town. He found two or three of the wounded still alive, ho had crawled into the square where the flames could not reach them. 'Can anything/ says Savary,'be more dreadful ihan the sight of men first burnt to death, then trodden under ihe horses feet, and crushed to atoms by the wheels of the gun carriages!' The only outlet from the town was by walking through a heap of baked human flesh, which produced an insufferable stench. The evil was so great that it became necessary to procure spades, such as are used to clear mud from the public roads, ii« or der to remove and bury this foetid mass. The Emperor came to see this horrid sight and said 10 us as he went over it 'It were well if all promoters of wars could I ehold such an appalling picture. They would then discover how much evil humanity has to suffer from their projects.'

DESTROYING INSECTS ON TREES.—Most of the methods for the accomplishment of the above obj«ct have frequently failed but the following invented by a French chemist, has been tried repeated ly, atid always with the best success, where tobacco smoke, tobacco juice and other means were of no avail: Take two and a half pounds of black soap, two and a half pounds of flour of sulphur, two pounds of mushrooms that grow in moist ground of any kind and thirty quarts of water. Divide the water into like portions put one half in a cask with the soap and mushrooms, after they have been a little bruised boil the other half of tha water in a kettle with the sulphur in a bag, and kept down to the bottom of the kettle by a stone or other weight. The sulphur bag must bestirred by a staff in order the better to saturate the water. By the increase of the quantity of materials the effect becomes more powerful. The water thus boiled muat then be thrown into the cask and then stirred about with a stick until it haa acquitred the highest degree of foul odor, in which care is to be observed that the cask be ahut up after the stirring of the water. Thia mixture must be scattered or sprinkled on the trees, shrubs or plant*, and in the first sorinkling it will destroy the greatest part of the Insects frequent repetitions are demanded in order to kill thoee which live under ground, especially the am*. To destroy these, from two to eight quarts of the mixture may be needed. Two ounces of no* vomica added to the previous mixture, grated and scraped off with the flour ©t sulphur will make their means more efficacious. The best thing for use Is a sprinkler made of tin, which will hold a good quantity the mouth piece flat, and perforated with rows of small hole*,—jiprncaa Polgtechnic Jemrmtt*

An eagerness and aaal for dispute e® every subject, awl with every one, shows great eetf-auffiaeucy, that never-tailing sign o. great saAf-tguoraae*

•The enemies of a roan are of hie own household,' as the loafer said when be found Itia jacket full of fleas.

All elephant has the strength of abont one hundred and fifty me*.

.-J.

Origin of Trees and Plants. Wheat was brought from the central tableland of Thibet, where its representative yet exists as a grass, with small mealy seeds. 1«#

Rye exists wild in Siberia. Oats wild in North Africa. Barley exists wild in the mountains of Himalaya.

Millet,one species is a native of India, another of Egypt and Abyssinia. Maize was brought from America.^

Canary seed from Canary Isles. Rice from South Africa, whence it was taken to India, and thence to Europe and America. iwx Peas are an unknown origin. It

Lentil grows wild on the shofes of the Mediteranean. Vetches are natives of Germany.

Chick-pea was brought from tjie south of Europe. The garden bean from the East Indies.

The Horse Bean, from the Caspian Sea. Cabbage grow«fjviJd ij» Qicily and Naples. ?,: 12 «.v.

S

The Poppy was brought from the East. The Sunflower from Peru. The Lupin from ihe Levant.

Flax or Linseed is to Southern Europe a weed i-n the ordinary grain crops. The nettle is a native of Europe

Wood is a naiive of Europe.. Madder came from ihe East. Dyer's Weed grows in Southern Germony.

Snfflowercame from Egypt.. Dill is an Eastern plant. Hopsi Mustard and Caraway Seed came to perfection as wild plants in Germany.

Anise was brought from Egypt and the Grecian Archipelago. Coriander grows wild near the Mediterranean.

Saffron came from ihe Levant. ,The Onion out of Egypt. Horse Raddish from the Souih of Europe.

Chlckory grows wild In Germany. Tobacco is a native of Virginia, and Tobngo, another species, has also been found wild in Asia.

Fuller's Teasle grows wild in Southern Europe. Lucerne is a native of Sicily.

Spurry is a European plant. The gourd is an Eastern plant The potato is a well known native of Peru and Mexico.

The artichoke is a Brazillian product. Hemp is a native of Persia and the East Indies.

The currant and gooseberry came from Southern Europe. The pear and apple from Europe.

The mulberry tree from Persia. The walnut and peach from the same The quince from the Island ofCiete. •The ciiror rom Media.

The ches

./Ut

from Italy.

The pine ic a native of America. The huckleberry is a native of both Asia and Europe.

The cranberry of Europe and America. Turnips and mangel wurtzel came from the shores of ihe Mediterranean

Kohlrabi and white turnip are natives of Germany. The carrot is by some supposed to have been brought from Asia, but others maintain it to be a i.ntive of the same country as the turnip.

The parsnip is supposed to be a native of the same place. Spinach is attributed to Arabia.

White millet to Greece. The cucumber to the East Indies. The raddish to China and Japan. Parsley grows in Sardinia. ,'1v Tartrahon in Central Asia. Celery in Germany.

llorse chestnut from Thibet.

The Old Negro** Logic.

A clergyman askod an old servsnt his reasons for believing ia the.existence of a God isvu-.i •Sir/ says he, see one man get sick. The doctor comes to him, gives him medicine the next dsy he is better he gives him another dose, it does him good, he keeps on till he gets about his business. Another man gets sick like the first one, the doctor comes to see him, be gives him the same sort of medicine, it does him no good,he gets worse, gives him more, but he gets worse all the time, til! he dies. Now that man time to die had come and all the doctors in the world can't cure him. •Oae year, I work in the corn-field, plow deep, dig up grass and make nothing but nubbins. Next year 1 work the same way the rain and dew comes, end I make a good crop. •I have beeo-here going hard upon fifty years. Every day aince I have been in thia world I see the sun rise in the east and set in the west. The North Star stands where it did the first time I ever seen it the seven stars and Job's Coffin keep on the same path in the aky and never turn out. It ain't so with man's works. He male clocks and watches, they may run well for a while but they get out of fix dt stand stock still. But the sun, a ad moon, and stars keep oa the seme way all the while. There is a power which makes doe man die and another get well, that scads the rain, and keeps everything in motion.'

What a beautiful comment la here furnished by an unlettered African the language of the Psalmist: 'The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament ahoweui his handiwork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night ahoweth knowledge.*

A young man tn Pittsburgh, recently run two mild ia five minutes.

'Yes, dear robin red-breast!' sobbed little Harry,'that covered the poor babes in the woods with leaves. Oh! wasn't he a naughty, wicked man?'

Never had the father of these children received such a smarting rebuke as this. Not for any consideration would he have let thorn known that he was ihe cruel man they so earnestly condemned. •It was very cruel,' murmured the sympathizing mother, upon whose lap was sleeping a tender infant.

The father remained for a few moments with his children, and then left the room, the sight of the dead bird, and iheir sad little faces, was more than he could bear without too great a pressure on his feulings. 'Yes, it was a cruel act' said he to himself 'but I will not again lift my hand against the life of an innocent bird.'

And he has kept his word.—Arthur Gaxelle.

ABSENCE OF MIND.

We have heard of numerous instances of mental abstraction—most frequently connected with men of great devotion to some particular literary, ecientific, or theological investigation, which monopolizes the mental powers. We could point out many individuals who fill the pulpit with ability, and display in their discourses vast powers of intellect, who in the social party carry on some mental exercises which disconnects them from passing events.

In Massachusetts is a clergyman of this class, who in his absent intervals is very likely to appropriate to himself not only whatever handkerchiefs may chance to come in his way, but table napkins also were frequently found in his pocket when returning from social tea-parties at his parishioners. This was so much a habit, that his wife would search his pockets on his return, for the purpose of restoring the articles speedily to the rightfiil owner. One day his wife found in his side pocket a whole silk apron, strings and all. He could give no account how it came there—it was a mysterious affair. A lady of the parish, however, settled the matter fcatisfactorily. In conversation with her guest after tea, on some subject, in which he felt much interest, he mistook her apron, a»* she supposed, for his handkerchief, and began to tuck it sway in his pocket. Knowing his abstractedness, rather than break the string of the discourse, she untied the apron strings and let it go, not a little amused at seeing the whole, after two or three efforts, snugly stowed sway in his capacious pocket. Portsmouth Journal.

TERRE HAUTEriND. OCTOBER 22,1853. v.

THE DEAD ROBIN.

•Hark 1 What is that!' said little. Anni, and she dropped her playthings and started up, with her ear bent towards

•ItT a dear robin red-breast,' replied the child's nipther. $JjHow sweetly he sings!' •Robin red -breast* that covered tho poor babes In the woods with leaves!' asked Harry, the younger brother of Anna.iw* •Yes It is the robin red-breast that covered the poor b^bes^' ssjd the mother. -g. -., •Dear robin IJiow I love you said each of the children, speaking from the same impulse of tenderness. And then they went to the door to listen to his pleasant song. While they #hus stood listening, the air was suddenly rent by the sharp report of a gun. and in a few moments afterwards the dear robin redbreast fell dead almost at the children feet. Lifting the bleeding bird in her handfc, Anna brought it with tearful eyes, to her mother, and Harry came and stood by her side, both moorning and weeping for the dead robin, as sorrowfully as if it had been a dear friend.—Little did ihey think that the hand which directed .the fatal aim towards that inno^ cent creature was the hand of their own father. He too, had heard the sudden warbling of th,e bird but with what a different feeling was he ^inspired by the sound! The desire to take its innocent life was the first impulse, and, acting from this, he seized his gun, and taking a deadly aim. bereft it in an insiant of life. As the bird fell, he saw his children run and lift it from the ground, but they did not see him. In a little while afterwards, he came into the room where they were still mourning over the wreck of life and beauty that he had so wantonly made. •Oh, papa!' cried Anna, 'see this poor red breast that some cruel man has

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A Booster's Description of a Dinner at tbe Aator House. I met upon the train an elderly Hoosier. who had been to the show case exhibition at New York, and who bad also seen the Jftpodkv-me, as be called it. "Did you remain long in New York 1 asked him.

Well, no," fee answered thoughtfully, "only two days, far I saw there was a right

smart

chance of starving to death, and rm opposed to that way of gwng down. I put up at one of their taverns, and allowed I was going to be treated to the whole.

Where did you stop," said I, interruptiag him. ... "At tbe Aiitors House. I allow you don ketch me to no such place agi a. They rung a trcnt. as they called it, four times afore breakfast, and then, vfhen I went in to eat, there waa't narry Tittles on the table! "What was there!" I ventured to inquire. "Well," said the old man, enumerating the items cautiously, as if from fear oi ooo, "there was a dean plate—wrong side up—a knife, a tfaw toed, a tfiii spanst, —t +ka*i kiM and what was worse," added my companion, "the insnltin* nigger up mud msked me what I wanted 'vitUe*,' says I, "bring im your tittlet mmd riLhdf mpdfr

•Did your fall hurt you,* said use hodcarrier to another, who had fallen from the top of a two story house. •Not in the leaste, hooey mas «*oppin ao quick that hurt me.* C°~

Womss's Righto—A Story of Leap Year. Samuel Smith sat at home on New Year's dsy in dishabille. His beard was unshaven hia hair uncombed bis long boots unpacked and he was leaning back in a picturesque attitude with heels against the mantle piece, smoking a agar. Samuel thought to himself that, as it was leap year, it would be glorious if the ladies would pop the question in accordance with their ancient privileges.

As he sat watching the smoke which curled so grscefully. his fancy glowed with the idea, how delightful it Would be to have the dear creatures fondling on him, and with their tender glances endeavoring ^,,dp t|ie agreeable.

As he meditated, his heart softened, and he began to feel a squesmish, womanish sensibility diffused over his feelings, and he thought he would faint with propriety the first time a lady squeesed his hand.

Rap, rap, rap, rap, sounded at the door.— Samuel peeped through the venitian blinds. "Mercy exclaimed he, "if there isn't Miss Jones-r-and I in dishabille, and looking like a fright—good gracious I must go and fix myself."

Ab lie left the room Miss Jones entered, and with a composed air intimated thatahe could wait. She was a firm believer in woman'd rights, and now that the season wa* propitious she determined to take the advantage thereof, and do a little courting on her own hook. It was one of woman's privileges which had been usurped by the tyrant, man, and she determined to aasertJier rights in spite of the hollow formalities of the false system of society.

On Samuel's return to the room, she exclaimed "Dearest, how beautiful you look," accompanying her words with a glance of undisguised admiration. "Spare the blushes of a^pdest young man," said Sam, applying thl cambric to his face to hide his confusion. "Nay, my love, why so coy said Susan. "Turn not away those beautiful eyes, dark ss jet, but sparkling as the diamond. Listen to the vows of affection. Here let us rest," said she,- drawing him to the sofa, "here, with my arm around thee, will I profess my true affection." "Leave me, oh, leave!" murmured Samuel "think of my youth afl^Niexperience —spare my palpitating heart." "Leave thee 1" said Susan, pressing still closer to him never till the story of restless nights, of unquiet days of aspiration, fond emotions and undying love is laid before thee. Know that for years I have suffered for thee a secret passion. Need I tell thee how manly beauty moved me 1 how I worshipped like a sunflower in the lurid light of these raven tresses 1 how my heart was entrapped in the meshes of those magnificent whiskers 1 how I would yield to the government of that imperial 1 thy manners so modest, so delicate, enchanted me—joy to me—for thy joy was my joy. My heart is ever thine—take it—but first let me snatch one kiss from those ruby lips."

The overwhelming feelings of tbe delicate youth were too strong, and he fainted from exccss of joy. Meanwhile the enamored maiden hung fondly over him, and—

Slowly the eyes of Samuel Smith opened —he gazed wildly around him—then meeting the ardent gaze of his lover, he blushed deeply, and from behind his handkerchief faintly faltered out—"Ask my Ma."

"If you*re coining, why don't you come along." So Mose was won't to say, aforetime, and it embodies 'a good bit' of practical philosophy. Every new Engine shrieks it—every new Railway is a record of it—every line of Telegraph exemplifies it—every new met dium of advertising illustrates it. The saying originated in the 'Bowery,' may be, buit is destined to be a cosmopolite. It began with individuals it is going on with nations it will end with the world. 'Ifyou're coining, why don't you come along It is uttered in almost all tongues, in almost all lands. It has rung around Christendom the iron bedstesd of Procrustes has been left behind, with the torch and the fagot. It has sounded like a slogan through the political world, and the 'old fogies' are among the baggage wagons and the wounded.

It has electrified the reslm of literature prose is becoming the living voice of humanity, and poetry, its echo- The old Ramage press has given place to the cylinders whirled by the panting engine, and thought that moved st a funeral pace now rushes on in a tremendous charge- 'The old Guard and 'Marion's men were nothing to it. I, yon're coming, why don't you come along 'Six paces to the front' is the word to every body and every thing that wants to be listened to or looked st. If you hsve snything to ssy, say it if you hsve anything to do, do it if you wish anybody to see something, show it 'Ifyou're coming, why don't you come along

It used to take six men to make a pin now, one boy, a pull, a clip and two strokes for the busi ness.

Once, cradles rocked the grslii Tof the garner now, a whirlwind on wheels cuts, threshes and bags it in a breatn.

Once fathers and mothers had the precedence by a few years now, belles with dolls, and beaux in pinafores, distance the old folks at home,' and take op tbe crj of the world, 'If you're coming, why don't you come slong!"

Once they crossed the Atlantic in a hundred days now, let them exceed ten, snd somebody bails them from the land's end, as they heave in sight, *If yoor're coming, why don't yew come along!"—A*. Y.

TKEXEVDOCTSXESS or Wa.—As if war ua matter of experiment! As if yon could take it up or lay it down as an idle frolic Xs if the dire goddess that presides over it, with her murderous spear in band and her gor go« on her breast, was a coquette to be flirted with We ought with reverence to approach that tremendous divinity, that loves courage, but commands counsel. War never leaves where it found nation. It is never to be entered into without mature deliberation not deliberation lengthened oat kito a perplexing indecision, tot a deliberation leading to a Mire and fixed judgment. When so taken up, it is not to be abandoned without reaaou as valid, as faity and extensively considered. Peace may oe made as anadvisedty as war. Nothing is ao rash as fear and the councils of pusillanimity very rarely put off, whilst they are ahraya sore to aggravate, the evils which they woeldfly.—JBmtU

S THE PHYSICIAN'S OATH.' I The following 'oath of the physician ia one of the moat remarkable relica of antiquity. It is ascribed to Hippocrates, but it is believed to be of still greater antiquity, is, however, certain .that it was in vogue In his time, now more than two thousand years ago. It is alluded to in the writings of Plato, So nanus, Jerome and others. It may be well to remark by way of preliminary, that Apollo, the son or Jupiter, was the God of Medicine. Esculapius was the son -of Apollo. Ilygeia (health)and Panacea (universal remedy) were Esculaptus's daughters. In all oaths of those davs, it was customary to Invoke t¥ie Wr all his children. 'J 'W N\T...1.^ Gods and Godesses: _s

The Oath—»I swear by Apollo, the Physician, by Esculapius, by Hygeia and Panacea, that 1 will fulfill, faithfully to the extent of my power and ability, this oath, and this written engagement tha I will consider him who taught me this act In the light of a father that I will watch over his interests, provido liberally for his wants, consider his children as my own brothers, and that I will instruct them in this profession, if such be their wish, without salary or compensation that I will communicate to them, to my children, ond to adepts in this science, the common precepts of our profession and its secret requirements, but will conceal them from all others.— According to the best of my knowledge I will make use of the fules of Dietetics for the comfort and relief of my patients. I will remove from them everything that could be injurious to thorn— and all kinds of witchcraft. 1 will never administer a deadly poison to any one, whoever he may be, or however earnestly I may be solloited, nor will 1 prepare it for anoihor to administer- 1 will never cause abortion, will preserve my life pure and holy as my art. I will never remove calculi, bui will direct such patients to those who make this their business. In every house in which I may enter it shall be only for the relief of the sick, preserving myself free from all voluntary iniquity abstaining from all kinds of debauchery forbid* ding myself all improprieties, whether with man or woman, slave or free.— Anything which 1 may see or hear in ihe exercise of my profession, that ought not to bo divulgod, shall, by me, be regarded as an inviolable secret. 'If I faithfully fulfil the conditions of my oaih, may my life pass happily away may 1 gather the fruits of my labors, and live, honored by all, to the latest posterity. But if I fail therein, and perjure myself, let the contrary of all this happen.'

t«t A Scene in Court.

Friday is a notable day in tfie Courts, aa well as among more comman hangmen. In the Chancery department of the Common Pleas. Fridays are set apart for tho hearing of divorce cases the scenes opened up on those occasions are noteworthy. On Friday last the case of A. B. vs. C. D. was called, being the petition of a dissatisfied wife for divorce from a dilapidated husband.— For some reason the case was passed when first called, but an hour or two afterward the attorney for the wife— perhaps to impress tho bystanders with some idea of his importance—rose and said. ""i

May it plase yer honor, in the case of A.'B. vs. C. D., called this morning, we wish lave to petition for dower, (illsuppressed laughter.)

THB COURT. Dower is not a matter of petition—the law allows it, and the Court awards, w*

ATTORNEY. Ah.VetT,"thenHW alimony (much merriment inside the bar) we petition for!

THE COURT, (evidently suffering from suppressed emotion.) What is the state of your case?

ATTORNBT. Why," may It plase yer honor, the husband is dead. (Laughter.)

TRB COURT, (unsuccessful in lis at tempts at gravity.) If the husbaud Is dead, why do you petition for a divorce? Tbe whole proceeding may be dismissed. [Amid the merriment that followed, the barrister withdrew to consult with his fair client.—]Cin. Com. 'j,j-

TUB SPEAKERSHIP. The prospects are favorable for the election of Thomas H. Bayley, of Virginia. He is described as a gentleman of some forty-three or four years of age, whose heavy figure, rather antique style of dress and sedate countenance, give his appearance a soma what older cast, which his friends designate as the very 'presence,'for the presiding officer of the House of Representatives of tbe U- Staiee He has been in Congress ever since John Tyler sent Mr. Henry A. Wise abroad so that although comparatively young, he is one of the fathers ef the House.

TAMING GERMAN.—At a table d'hote, at Colt gne, a manufacturer of Sheffield, aays the Leeds Intelligencer, who spoke nothing but English, was sected next to a German lady, who did not speak it at all. Handing her a plate of peaches, he Mid: 'Have a peach, marm? •JVei*,' (no) replied the lady. *NineV said he, storing with astonish* mem, first at jver and then at ihe other guesta at the table.' Why,marrn,there's only six in the dish, but they are for you,' at the same time roiling them upon tier plate. -m *rbelieve there is nobody awake but you and me* as the cock said to the rising sua*

WH0LE'"N0.411(P

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A SPLENDID DESCRIPTION, One Paul Denton, a Methodist preacner in Texas, advertised a barbecue, with better liqoor than usually 'furnished. When the people were assembled, a desperado in tho crowd cried out, "Mr. Paul Denton, your reverence has lied. You promised us not only a good barbecue but better liquor. Where is the liquor 1" "There answered the missionary in tones of thunder" and pointing his motionless finger at the matchtess double spring, gushing up in two strong columns, with a sound like a shout of joy from the bosom of tbe earth. "There!" he repeated, with a look terrible as the lightning, while his enemy actually trembled on his feet "there is the liquor which God, the Eternal, brewa

Not in the simmering still, over smoky fires, choked with poisonous .gases, and surrounded with the stench of sickening odors and rank corruptions doth your Father In Heaven prepare the precious essence of life, the pure cold water. But jn the oreen glade and ffrassv dell, where the red deer wanders, and tne child loves to play, there God brews it and down low in the deepestvallegs, where the fountain murmurs, upon the tali mountain tops, where the naked granite glitters like gold in the sun, where the storms crash, end away far out,on the wide, wide sea, where the hurricane howls music, and the big waves roar the chorus, sweeping the march of God there ho brews it, that beverage of life, health civing water.— And everywhere it is a thing of beauty, gleaming in the dew-drop singing in the summer rain shining in the ice gem, till thejtrees all seem turned to living jewels, spreading a golden veil over the setting sun or a white gauze around the midnight moon sporting in the cataract sleeping in the glacier dancing in the hail shower foldits bright snow curtains sofly about the wintry world and weaving the many colored iris, that sernph zone of Ihe sky whose warp is the rain drop of earth, whoso wool is the sun-beam of heaven, all checkered 0ver with celestial flowers, by the mystio hand of refraction. Still always it is beautiful—that blersed life water! no poison bubbles on its brink—its foam brings not madness and murder no blood stains its liquid glass pale widows, and starving orphans weep not burning tears in its depth no drunkard's shrieking ghost from tho grave curses it in words of eternal despair Speak out, toy frienda,would you excliango it for the demon's drink—alcohol 1" A shout liko the roar of a tempest answered-p-"No!"

The Mftn and the Vine.

In one of iho curly years ofior the croaiion of the world, man b^ga^ Viant a vine, and Satan saw it ond dtew near. 'What plantcst thou, son of tho earth! said the prince of demons. hna 'A vinel replied ihe man. •What aro tho properties of this tree? 'Oh its fruit is pleasant to look at, and delicious to taste, from it Is produced a liquid which fills tho heart with joy.'

Well, sineir'wine makes glad tbe heart of man, I will help thee plant this vine.

So saying the demon brought a Iamb and slew ii then 0 lion, then an ape, and last a pig, killing each in succession and moistening the roots of the vine with the blood.

Thence it has happened ever since that when a man drinks a small portion of the wine, ho becomes gentle ond caressing as a lamb, after a little more, strong and bold as the lion when he takes still more, ho resembles an ape in his folly, and absurd and mischievous actions' but when he has swallowed it to excess ho Is like a pig wallowing in the mire.

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SALE OP ROBBSJMERHE'S GUILLOTINE,— The late foreign arrival brought news of the sale of the identical Guillotine of the horrible Reigp of Terror, and the basket belonging to it, imo which the heads of its victims, from ten to a hundred per day, dropped, under the system of Robespierre, including tho head of that heartless butcher himself. The whole machine, frame-work, slidingktiife, and basket certified by the government officer, were sold at suction before sn immense crowd of spectators, for fifty francs and was immedistely after committed to the flumes amid the cheers of the people. The New York Horald deplores the absence ofBsrnum on the occasion. 'What a loss,' it says, to Barnum!' Sold for fifty francs, ^asj^j. 'Only think of it.' *t

eluded!

STATISTICS OP CRIME —-The 'Tamst national statistics of crime are found in the abstracts of the Seventh Census.— From that it appears that the whole number ol persons convicted of crime in the United States, for. ihe year ending June. 1850, was about 27,000 of these, 13.000 wi»re native, (including colored prisoners.) and 14,000 foreign born. By ihe same authority, and to the same date, we are informed that our population was composed of 17.737,505 natives of its soil 2 21G 028 born in foreign countries, and 30,014 whoso nativity could not be determined. Whilo we have, therefore, but about one foreign resident to nine naiivo whites, there is a fraction over one foreign born criminal to every native, including black and white. Such was the ratio of crime io 1850, and there is no reason to suppose it has materially changed since that lime.

it i: }j|* COOL.—At a church in this city, on Sunday morning, the clergyman who supplied tbe pulpit in tbe absence of the regular pastor, rather surprised the congregation by stopping in the midst of his discourse sad remarking thit "he was so c.instituted that it was unpleasant for him to observe aay one reading while the services were going on"—Boat. Post.

•Our net* are floating,jrjde,' a* ih« rls said to the ribbons. 9 wwm. cr***

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