Vincennes Gazette, Volume 3, Number 1, Vincennes, Knox County, 15 June 1833 — Page 4

tiu: rAiMiEit. Swerl is the farmer's sleep! : ect if" by toil he earns Lis bread ; Ho knows not half tiie carts and dread, Which agitate the weak man's mind, Anil makeliitu watch and weep; iint casting S'-rrow to the wind, Sweet is the tanner's sleep! Refreshing are his dream", -No tantalizing scenes of wealth 31ock him possessed of ease and health, He fears not murderers, storm? nor hre, The weak man's nightly themes; But innocence and peace inspire His light and pleasant dreams. And when the rheerful morn, The watchful cock proclaims aloud, Light fly his slumbers, 8s a cloud, Reflected by the noon day sun, On wings of light is borne, IS'o headach veils, in mantle dun, Tht farmer's happy morn. O bless my sweet repose! "When toil invites my limbs to rest, May no false horrors harm my rcEt. Breathe through my lids thy kindest dreams, My willing eyelids close, And as the farmer's seems, Be such my sound repose. ESQUIRE GAMBLERS MARRIAGE GKRMONY., You broomish now, y ou goot mace dare Vot slant upon de vloor, To hah dish Voman for your vife, And lub her ebermore, To feed her veil wid sourcrout, Peens, buttermilk, and cheese; Ami in all things to lend your aid Dat vill promote her ease; Trs, and you voman stantin tlare Do pledge your vord, dish tay, Dat you vill take vor your husband Dis man, ant him opey; Dat you vill ped and poard wit him, Vaeh, Iron, and ment his cloas; Laugh when he shmile, vrep vhen he shighs; Drus share his choys and voes. Veil, den, I now, viden dee vails, Vid joy and not vit krief, Bronouuce you bote to be von mint, Von name, von man, von beef; I pooblish, now, dese sacred bant?, Dese matrimonial ties, re fore mine vife, Got, Kate and To!!, And all dese gazing ej es, Ant, a de sacred scripture say, Vot Got unites toirejder Let no man dare asunder put, Let no mm dare tern sever, Ant you britekroom dare, here you stop, I'll not let go you collar Tefore you answer medis tine:, Dat ish; fare ish ?nine dollar? Saturday Courier. ONE I'LTJ WAS ENOUGH; OR THE TOST OFFICE. AH places have their peculiarities; now that of Dalton was the discourse, which Johnson's Dictionary entitles "conversation on whatever doe? r.nt concern, ourselves.1' Everv hodv kr.p body did, and a little more. Eatings, drink;ngs, sleeping, talking?, talking, doings ail were for the good of the public; there wa9 not such a thing as a secret in the town There wap a story of Mrs. Mary Smith, an ancient dame, who lived on an annuity, and boasted the gentility of a hack and front parlour, that she once asked a few friends to dinner. The usual heavy antecedent half hour really passed quite pleasantly, for Mrs Mai'1!! windows overlooked the muket place, and not a scrag of mutton could leave it unobserved ; so that the extravagance or meanness of the various buyers furnished a copious theme lor dialogue Siill, in spite of Air. A's pair of fowls, and Mrs. A's round of beef, the time seemed long, and the guests found hunger growing more potent than curiosity. They waited and waited; at length the fatal discovery took place that, in the hurry of obsemng her neighbors' dinners, Mrs Smith had forgotten to order her own. It was in the month of March that an event happened which put the whole town in a commotion the arrival of a stranger who took his abode at the White Hart: not that there was any thing remarkable about the stranger; he was a plain, middle aged, respectable looking man, and the nicest scrutiny fand heaven Knows how narrowly he was watched) failed to discover any thing odd about htm. It was ascertained that he rose at eight, breakfasted at nine, ate two eggs and a piece of broiled bacon, sat in his room at the window, read a little, wrote a little, and looked out upon the road a good deal; he then strolled out, returned home, dineu at live, smoked two cigars, read the Morning Herald, (for the post came in of an evening,) and went to bed at ten. Nothing could be more regular or unexceptionable than his habits; still it was more extraordinary what could harp lirniirrht him fn Dalton. There was no chalybeate spring.! rtntuut;u io cure every disease under the sun; no ruins in the neighborhood, left expressly tor antiquarians and pic-nic parties; no fine prospects, which, like mtiiic. people make it matter of conscience to admire; no celebrated person had ever been born or buried in its environs; there weie no races, no assizes in short t,ere was "nothing." It was not even summergo country air and fine weather were not the inducements. The strangers namewas Mr. Williams, hut that was the extent of their knowledge shy and silent, there seemed no probability of learning any thing more from " himself. Conjectuic, like Shakspear, exhausted worlds, and then imagined new. Some supposed he -fcas hiding from his creditors, otheis that s had committed forgery; one suggested

that he had" escaped from a mad house, a second that he had killed some one in a duel, but all agreed that he came there for no pood. It was the twenty third daj of March, when a triad of gossips were assembled at their temple, the post-flrtice. The affairs of Dalton and the nation were settled to-o-ether newspapers were slipped from their cover, and not an epistle, but yielded

a portion of its contents. Hut on this night all attention was concentrated upon one, directed to ''John Williams, Esq. at the White Hart, Dalton." Eagerly it was compressed in the long fingers of Mrs. Mary Smith, of dinnerless memory the fat landlady of the White Hart was on the tip-toe to peep, while the post mistress, whose curiosity took a semblance of official dignity, raised a warning hand against any overt act of violence. The paper was closely folded, and closely written in a cramped and illegible hand suddenly Mrs. Mary Smith's look grew more intent she had succeeded in deciphering a sen tence the letter dropped from her hand. "Oh, the monster'.'' shrieked the horrified peeper. Landlady and post mistress both snatched at the terrible scroll, and thev equally succeeded in reading the follow ing words: "We will settle the matter to morrow at dinner, but I am sorry you persist in poisoning your wife, the horror is too great." Not a syllable more could they make, out, but what they had read was enough. "lie told me," gasped the landlady, "that he expected a lady and gentleman to dinner oh the villain! to think of poisoning any lady at the White Hart, and his wife, too I should like to see my husband poisoning me!" Our hostess became quite personal in her indignation. "I always thought there was something suspicious about him; people don't corn' and live where nobody knows them, lor nothing," observed Mis Mary Smith "I dare say," returned the post mistress, "Williams is not his real name." "I don't know that," interrupted the landlady, "Williams is a good hanging name; there was Williams who murdered the Marr's family, and Williams who burked all those dear children : Idaresayj he is some relation of theirs: but to think of his coming to the White Hart it's no place for his doings, I can tell him; he shan'tn't poison his wife in my house, out he goes this very night I'll lake the let ter to him myself." "Dear! dear! I shall be ruined, if it comes to be known that we took a look into the letter," and the post-mist) ess tho't in her heart that she had better let Mr. Williams poison his wife at his leisure Mrs. Mary Smith, too, reprobated any vi olent measures, the truth is, she did not wish to be mixed up in the matter, a gen tlewoman with an annuity and a front and back parlour was rather ashamed of being detected in such close intimacy with the post-mistress aud the landlady. It seemed likely that poor Mrs. Williams would be left to her miserable fate. "Murder will out," said the landlord the following morning, as he mounted the piebald pony, which like Tom Tough, had een a little service, and hurried off in search of Mr. Crampton, the nearest magistrate. Their perceptions assisted by brandy and water, he and his wife had sat up long past "the witching hour of night," deliberating on what line of conduct would be most efficacious in preserving the life of the unfortunate Mrs. Williams, and the result of their deJiberation was to fetch the justice, and have the delinquent taken into custody at the very dinner table which was to be the scene of his crime "He has oideredsoup to-day for the first time; he thinks he could so easily slip poison into the liquid. There he goes, he looks like a man who has got something on his conscience," pointing to Mr. Williams, who was walking up and down at his usual slow pace. Two o'clock arrived, and with it, a hack chaise: out of it stept, sure enough, a lady and gentleman. The land lady's pity reboubled such a pretty young creatine, not above nineteen! "I see how it is," thought she, "ihe old wretch is jea lous." All efforts to catch her eye were in vain, the dinner was ready and down they sat. The hostess of the White Hart looked alternately out of the window, like sister Ann, to see if any one was coming, and at the table to see that uothing was doing. 1 o her dismay she observed the young lady lifting a spoonful of the broth to her mouth! She couUI restrain herself no longer, but catching her hand, exclaim. ed,"Poor dear innocent, the soup is poisoned!" All started from the table in con fusion, which was yet to be increased: a bustle was heard in the passage, in rushed a whole pnrty, two of whom, each catching an arm of Mr. Williams, pinioned him down to his seat. "1 am happy, Madam," said the little bursting magistrate, "to have been under Heaven, the humble in strument of preserving your life from the nefarious designs of that disgrace to humanity." Mr Crampton paused in ennsequence of three wants n-.tnt of words, breath, and ideas. "My life!" ejaculated the astonished la dy, "Yes, Madam, the ways of Providence are inscrutable the vain curiosity of three idle women has been turned to good account." And the eloquent magistrate proceeded to detail the process of inspection to which the fatal letter had been sub jected : but when he came to the terrible words "We will settle the matter tomorrow at dinner: but 1 am sorry you persist in poisoning your wife" he was interrupted by bursts tff laughter from the gentlemen, from the injured wife, and even from the prisoner himself. One fit of merriment was followed by another, till

it became contagious, and the very constables began to laugh too. "I can explain it all," at last interrupt, ed the visiter. "Mr. Williams came here for that quiet so necessary for the labors of o-enius: he is writing a melodrama called "My Wife" he submited the last act to me, and I rather object to the poisoning of the heroine. This young lady-

is my daughter, and we are on our way to the sea coast. Mr. Williams is only wedded to the Muses." The disconcerted magistrate shook his head and muttered something about thea-j tres being very immoral "Quite mistaken, sir," said Mr. Williams. "Our soup is cold: but our worthy landlady roasts fowls to a turn we will hive them and the veal cutlets up you will stay and dine with us and, afterwards, I shall be proud to read "My Wife aloud, in the hope of your approval, at least of your indulgence." Keepsake. THE YANKEE WHO CIIOSSKD THE ATLANTIC ALONE. The following interesting narrative is from the London Service Journal. A correspondent of the New York Gazette says that Mr. Shackford, the hero of the story, resides in the western country, has a son now ship master out ot the harbour of New-York. He built, or purchased a small vessel in which he embarked alone, for, and navigated to Great Britain. When he arrived in port, he was supposed to be a pirate that he had murdered the crew of the vessel and was arrested. He produced his shipping paper, which contained one name oni;, and other documents to prove his proper character, and it was not until some persons in England were found who knew him in this country, that he: was set at liberty. The Yankee's visit U Sir Joseph Hanks. Sir Joseph Banks, hearing that there was a man in London, who had crossed the Atlantic in a boat alone was desirous of seeing him, and got some Americans to go to the hotel, and contrive ways to bring him to his house. This was easily effected Shackford in company with Capt. Fob lansbee, paid Sir Joseph a visit. They were asked into a room devoted to Natural History. Shackford looked around nud was placed to see many things that were real curiosities, preserved so well. At last he saw a young crocadile in a tub of water, and took notice of him, us he appeared, now above; and now below the surface. Sir Joseph soon made his entry. Ms this .Mr. Shackford that crosses the Atlantic in an open bwat V inquired Sir Joseph 'Yes sir,' was the reply, 'I have done that, sir .' What were your seiisations in the middle of the ocean alone?' was the nest enquiry. 'Why sir, I suppose you mean to ask how 1 felt on my voyage, I was sometimes dry, and 1 drank; I w as sometimes hungry, and I ate; I was sometimes .-leepy and I dozed a little, that was ea-y, for I had a nice cubby, and fixed a tiller there and slept with my helm ia my hand and there was no irrcat difficulty in that.' 'What mathematical instrument had you?' was the next inquiry 'Why a compass and an axe, a pair of pistols, id a sword that General Pulaski give me.' and 'How were vou sure you were riirht in vur course!1 I was not sure but I guessed I was right, as I steered east when I got pretty well up to the north, and that I knew would take me to England, or somewhere there about?, and that was right enough for one whose time was his own, and who ow ned the craft he w as in and had plenty of provisions on board the craft.' 'You have, sir,' said shackford, 'a fine ominium gatherum here: what are vou going to do with '.he crocodile you got there.' I am about preparing a paper to read before the Society, upon his habirs and nature, which I shall read to-morrow. Do you know any thing about the animal Mr. Shackford!' 'I live I three years in the West Indies, where they walk as thick as grasshoppers ' Have you ever heard their moans to entice and allure travellers to come to thera in order, as writers in natural history have mentioned, that they may secure them as their pre' V inquired the philosopher 'No, they never did any such thing, for a good reason, they have no tongue to make a clear sound with: and they cannot make a noise except one of bringing their jaws together. They move the upper jaw and somehow bring it down with great force, and a single sound proceeds from this: but how can a thing moan without a tongue? Look into his mouth and you will find that be has no more tongue than the great elephant I saw the other day in this city.1 'Why,' said Sir Joseph, 'you do not mean to say that the elephant has uo tonguel' 'Yes I do, replied Shackford, 'mean to say that he has no tongue and what does he want one for, as he has such a thing at the end ot his nose, by which he can feel a tiling as nicely a3 a lady's finger! could, and then use it as a sledge hammer toj knock one's brains out with!' -How do you I4.IIUW IHUl IU Uf lllf IdUi; IIMjlllllU OH JU31.Hi,l 'that he has no tongue?' 'Why in the best way! in the world: 1 looked into his mouth unti wa3 satisfied of the fact: and then it stood to reason in my mind that he did not want one, with so tinea tool as he has for the purposo of hands, tongue and sword.' 'Well,' said Sir Joseph, not a little mortified, 'The crocodiles are very ferocious and dangerous' 'Why,' said Shackford, 'They have a good large mouth of their own, and an ugly looking set of teeth, but very seldom attack a man, a very slight splash in the water generally frightens them off Once in a while they catch a young negro in the water, Ihe old ones don't mind them any more than musquetoes.' Sir Joseph's paper would not do: all his ornament of that wonderous moaning, and great fierceness at last had opposers To end the conversation, aud hie off to the Tower, or to Exeter change, to see the elephant, was now evidently Sir Joseph's wish, but shackford seemed in no hurry to go. Sir Joseph in trying to hide his impatience, made sev eral hasty icqui ries 'Did you ever see a collection like this be fore?' 'No,' said Shackford, 'the nearest to it is at my barber's shop, the other side of the water. He had a stuffed alligator, the skin of a dogfish, several handsome lizards and the head of a catamount, the last he set most store by, as that gives him an opportunity once a week to tell the story of that animal having jumped from tree to tree with a child 111 his mouth. I have heard 'he story a hundred times, and he never told it twice alike. I dont care much about seeing these altogether, but I love to see them m those part3 where they are natural : and that is one reason why I rove round the world so?' 'Mr. Shackford, what books do yon carry w ith you on your voyages and travels ?' ' The Bible sir, Watt's Palms and Hymns-and Robison Crusoe, not many others. 1 look around and read the book of nature ami generally pick up something worth remembering,' was the reply. 'I should think, said Sir Joseph, 'that yu would find many things that would puzzle you in your researches. 'I do, said Shackford, and so does every man I ever saw. Now, Sir Joseph, let me make plain what I mean, can you tell me what animal that is of the Nile, which is born with a tail w ithout legs, and dies if he comes to his growth, with four legs, without a tail ." Sir Joseph pondered. 'Why,' said Shackford, 'it is a frog. When a polly wog he has a tail, but when he becomes a frog he has four feet without a tail. I placed his birth in tho Nile, which deceived you learu-i

ed sir, but you know the frog is found in every)

mud puddle in creation as well as the Nile. 'Now,' said Shackford, 'I have great love for learned men but they don't know every thing ' Sir Joseph was glad to get rid of the maniac, who bad crossed the Atlantic in a boat something more than hi3 friend Cook had done when the navigator and the philosopher had quarrelled .

SIR ISAAC NEWTON. Thig illustrious philosopher was once riding over Salisbury plain, when a boy keeping sheep called to him " Sir, you had better make haste on, or you will get a wet jacket.' Newton, looking round observed neither clouds nor a speck on the horizon, joshed on takinc very little notice of the rustic's information. He had made but a few miles when a storm suddenly arising wet him to the skin. Surprised at the circumstance, and determined, if possible, to ascertain how an ignorant boy had attained a precision and knowledge in the weather of which the wisest philosopher would be proud, he rode back as he was. "My lad," said Newton, " I'll give thee a guinea if thou wilt tell me how thou canst fortell the weather so truly, "Will ye, Sir? I will then," said the bov, scratching his head , and holding out his hand for the guinea. "Now, Sir," having received the money, and pointing to the shep, "when you see that black ram turn his tail towards the wind, "tis a sure sign of rain within an hour." "What?" exclaimed tbo f i It i lrkcrr! . n r Kmiicl I it. .iril.tr frirtpll flip ;,.n..i"..r Jo., hr ..i u-X.V.h a v that blMc'k ram turns his tail?' Yes, Sir." Off:' rode Newton, quite satisfied with bis discovery. GOOD OLD WAY. I am one whom, in familiar phrase, thejcall an old fel ow. I have seen something of life, have been an observer of the course and progress of things, and have painfully noted the inroad of false refinement, and the manifest departure from ancient simplicity. This reproach to modern manners, applies with peculiar justness, to HH'airs of courtship. Have at you, gentle reader, for a brief anecdote. Sometime in the last century, one of those clerical meetings, kept up, time immemorial, in New England, was held at my grandfather W's, in Connecticut. One of the beings that composed the household at that time, was an elderly maiden aunt; a very starchy, staid character, with, a body straight and uniform as an iron bar, a thin visage, and skin shrivelled up like a baked apple. Their Reverence were holding high discourses on topics theological, evangelical, and moral. Aunt Kitty, flitting hither and thither, on hospitable deeds intent, bad her attention arrested by something that fell from one of the ministers, concerning the christian ordinances. She immediately seated herself among them. 'Rev. gentlemen,' said she, 1 have a wish to ask you one question. If it would not be deemed obtrusive, I should like to ask you a question.' () certainly. Propose your question, madam, without further apology.' 'W ell, Hev. gentlemen, what I would ak is, whether marriage is an ordinance' O yes, to be sure, marriage is an ordinance.? 'So I always thought ; I always thought marriage wn3 an ordinance And as I wish to be found walking in all the ordinances of the Lord blameless, you cannot think Rev. gentlemen, how delighted I should be, to partake of that ordinance.' A good, honest deacon prcst, had been a widower for years. lie gravely rose from his seat and concisely premised, that he himself had a moving desire to nartake of the same ordinance. Thisl prompt comparing of notes, led to a happy, though somewhat hasty result. The parties were united in Hymen's bands at the close of the convocation. Now, I ask whether, if the maidens of our day, were to kick out of doors their prudery, and coquetry, and the rest of their idle flummery, and show out the honest, ondid, simplicity of my elderly aunt I ask, whether we should have so man v gt ulFy, grouty, grumbling, graceless old bachelors hanging as dead weights on society; and all this, in the enchanting vision of hills and vales innumerable, teeming and glowing with plenty, and beauty, that seem crying out, 'come and people us.' JoTinrr. A TRIAL OF MEMORY. A person was boating, in Foole's pree" ence of the extraordinary facility with which he could commit any tiling to memory, when the modern Aristophanes said he would write down a dozen lines in prose which he would not be able to repeat, from memory, in a9 many minutes. A wager was instantly laid, and Foote produced the following: -So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she bear coming up the street, popt its head into the shop. What no soap? So he died, aud she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Ijckimjnnies, and the Job.Ilies. and the Garyulies, anr. the grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at the top; and they all fell to ylaying the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out of the heels of their hoots.' Such a mass of unconnected non?ense de tied memory, and the wit won his wager. Jl la Trollopc. A genuine Jonathan who had long been paying attention to farmer C 's daughter Sally, invited his dearly beloved to ride to the store with him. They arrived and after looking at all the pretty things, said Jock "Mr. draw me a glass of gin, and sweeten it well with lasses,1' It was done and Jonathan swallowed it at a draught, then, smacking his lips, he turned round and thus addressed bis gal " say Sal, that ti'cs darn good, zhy dont you Lay a glasi for yourself V Singular Effect of Music. At the Cheethamhill glee-club, on Monday evening last, during the performance of "JVon Nobis Domine," which was suug in fine style by about forty voices, a tum bler glass, which stood upon a table in the room, broke into a thousand pieces, as if it had been shattered by an explosion of gunpowder. Manchester Guardian. Kitten Pie. The New Bedford Gazette states that one evening last week a lady in that town made up a tine batch of dough in a trough, and left it on the hearth before the embers in order that it might rise before the morning, when it was to be transformed into plump "dough bat. " On going into the kitchen in the morning, the lady found a batch of seven "young infant" kittens, all snugly bedded in the warm dough, and the old cat sitting by, watching with Turk like gravity, this un- . looked for addition tc ths morning brsak

fast.

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THE BOQUET; FLOWERS OF rOLITC LITERATURE; Devoted to Original and Selected Tiles, Lecends, and Essay?, Travelling and Historical Sketches, American Biography, General aiiscellany and Toetry. Embellished monthly with a piece of fashionable music for the Piano-Forte. Edited by Melzar Gardner. I liblished ecmi-monthly at Hartford, Connecticut. Encouragfd by the flattering approbation which has been bestowed upon this infant periPublisher respectfully submitsthft following prospectus to the public with hill confidence that it will meet a favorable reception -- The Volume which ha already been publisher!, w ill serve as a specimen of the mariner in which, it will be continued ; and the productions of the roost vlistincuished public writers of the day, selected with care end discrimination from the mo' popular American :uid English periodicals, will continue to enrich its columns. 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W hen a number tails ot reaching a subscriber, or becomes damaged in tho mail, another shall be sent, if requested. Thi3 completion of files should not, however, be deterred much beyond the ending of the volume. DR. THOMAS WHITE'S VEGETABLE TOOTHACH DROPS. The only specific ever offered to the public from which a permanent and radical cure maybe obtained of that disagreable pain, the tooth ach with all its attendant evils; such as fracturing the jaw in extracting of the teeth, which of ten proves more painful than the toothach itself; and could passing from the decayed teeth to the jaw, theneo to the head, producing a rheumatic affection, with many other unpleasant affect; such as a disagreeable breath, bad taste in the mouth Sec. ice. all of which are produced from foul or decayed teeth. I am happy to have it in ray power to oiler to the world a remedy thnt will not only remove the pain nine times tmt of ten, if properly applied, but preserve th teeth from further decay, and arrest the diseae in ieh a are decaying and have not commenced r.chin, restori'.irr them to health use! uln ess. u ai.u Of a new and beautiful impressicn a' Magistrate--' Blanks of all t'-rr at ths Garotte Offre