The Syracuse Journal, Volume 20, Number 9, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 30 June 1927 — Page 9

FIX BAYONETS! Jibe War at Ctoee JLmge DsecrAW he a ffeatariUNe Series Ay aa Qffitoer of t*e Marines Capt JOHN W. THOMASON, Jr. , (Illustrated by the Author from Sketches Made on the Battlefield) <© by the Bell Syndicate.

CHAPTER X—Continued —l<--These German roads were all honestly metaled, but the inch or so of anud on the surface was like soup •underfoot, and the overcoats soaked up the rain like blotting-paper. It was -the kind of a morning with no line between night and daylight The Slackness turned to gray, and. after a while, the major,* on his horse, could look back and see the end of his column. The battalion, he reflected. waa up to strength again. It hadn't been this large since It went to Blanc Mont the end of September. He shut his eyes on that thought —a hundred and thirty men that came out where a thousand went In—then replacements, and. after the armistice, more replacements. Perhaps the quality was running down a little. The new chaps didn't seem as tall and broad as the old men. the tall, sunburnt Leathernecks that went out the road from Meaux, toward ChateauThierry, in the spring. Odd. Just six months! since the spring. . . . But a few veterans and hard drilling between fights would keep the temper In an outfit . . . one. rememl»ered a phrase In an order of the division commander's—- • The Second division has never falle.l to impose Its will upon the enemy. ( . . ." And today it crossed the German Rhine. ... He swung out of his saddle and stood by the road to watch them paw; 1.200 men. helmets and rifles gleaming a little In the wet gray light. . . The road led eastward through a country of low hills, sodden tn the rain. Untidy clouds sprawled on the ■crests and spilled wet filaments Into, the valleys. The land was all In cultivation. laid off In precise squares and oblongs; some newly plowed- som« sparsely green with turnips and rape. It looked ugly and ordered and sullenly pro-perous. There was slow conversation in the column. “ —Anybody know where we goln’ todayy “Damflno—naw—l did hear the skipper's orderly say we’d make the Rhine, some time —" “How far—" "Some guy- was lookin' at a map at battalion. Said It was about thirty kllomets." "It's always 'bout thirty Icitomets in this dam' country—” "Yeh! But I remember one time it was twelve kllometa. The night we Hiked up to Verdun, back last March. Had a Frawg guide—little shrimp wit' a forked beard. Ask him how far. all ■ he'd say was: 'Doos ktlomets—doos kllometa— ’ “Hiked all night tn the rain, like this, an' at daylight we came to a j aign, wit' the name of the place we're goln' to. an' It said ‘Doos kilomets’— that guide, he let on that he was right su’prlsed—” But there were very | few men tn the column who remembered the hike to Verdun, tn the I early spring of 1918: In one company eight, in another eleven; In the whole ; battalion the barest handful. It had j been a long road. The first way-sta- j tlon was the Bois de Rellean; a lot of people stopped there, and were I there yet And there were more, com- I fortably rotting in the Foret de Rotz, south of Solssona And more yet. well dead around- Blanc Mont And a vast j drift of them back in hospitals. Men walked silent, remembering the old I dead. . . . Twelve hundred men hiking to the Rhine, and how many ghosts. . . . The mist * rolled j around the column. '• —You replacements never knew < Corp'ral Snair. that got bumped off ; at Solssons, dailyin' with a Maxim I low Z/'/ ■ ' /*b I Mip Y \ FppfefljßßHik B' Si 99 Man Walked SHent Remembering the Old Dead. gun. He waa a musical cuss, an* he. uster sing a song to the tune of the •Old Gray Mare—She Alni What She Uster Be—somethin’ tike The U. A flag will fiy over Germany Laaa than a year from new—* —and now it la, an' lCe a pity bo ain't here to see It—“ "Well, but he's restin' easy where be la—me. I'm cold as hell aa* thia dam' drizzle is dralutn* down my neck—* * There was nothing but the mist and the rain, and a mean, cold little wind with a bite in it North and south, from the edge of Holland to the Mett gateway, all the armlee were marching. Ahead. Just out of contact, went the German armies. The battalion passed a dense little wood of firs— Christmas-tree woods, the battaUen called tb*m Tbis dump showed unmistakably that It had been a camp; but there was no litter; the Boche who bivoo4*kvd there bad left It neat and dean. Along the road in orderly piles wore . -entne hundred* <rf the round Gsn—-l-Vwt parked precisely tn *

cleared place, where horse-lines had been, was a battery of 105 field howitzers. The old Boche was Jettisoning what he didn't need. The battalion observed and was thoughtful. “Wbat about the ole Boche? —You think he waa licked enough?" "No, I don’t That stuff back there, they laid It down under orders, like they do everything. It's stacked —It ain't Just thrown away. An’ look how they police up behind tbemselveo—" “Yeh! Remember the other day. when we was advance-guard, we could see their rear-guard, sometimes—perfect order, an' all that —not like a defeated outfit at all!" “Sure! I hope to spit in yo' mere-kit it ain't! An’ those little towns back yonder, with the arches an' the flags and the welcome returnin' heroes stuff—none o’ that was for us —" “They ain't ticked enough. Look at this country—winter plowin' done—everything ship-shape—-no shell-holes—no barb' win—who tn hell won this war. anyway?" “You said It We oughter got up tn here an' showed the old Boche wbat it was like, to have a war In his own yard." “Well. I’ve been in all of IL an' ptrs'nally I was glad when the shootin' stopped. I got me some sleep an' a full belly, an* a pair of new shoes —an’ some fireman's underwear. too. An’ I waa right proud not to be killed. I ain’t prepared to die—" “We know you ain't, sergeant—we know” “Aw. belay that—l mean. I was glad, myself, but we ottthter gone on—oughter’ve finished It while we was at It. He wasn't licked enough, an* now he's goln' home like a peacock wit' seven tails—!" This was the consensus of opinion, delivered with consideration In the rain. The replacements, especially those who bad joined up after the armistice, in Belgium, were savagely regretful. The chaps who had come in after Uhampagae. and been among those present at one fight were bloodthirsty, but to a lesser degree. Only the veterans were entirely calm. The rain fell, the road grew heavier. The battalion, soaked and miserable, plodded &n. They passed through many villages, alt alike; all ugly and without character. The houses were closed and shuttered. You saw few people, but you always had the feeling of eyes behind the shutters. One thick-bodied Boche. tn uniform—an artilleryman, by his leather breeches —stood In the doorway of a bouse, smoking a porcelain pipe thrt hung to his knee. His face was set tn a cast of hate. He stood and stared, and the battalion, passing, looked him over with respect. “Understand a bird like that" “Yeh —he's honest. Those dam’ Helnles in the billet last night they made me sick. That fellow that talked English. Says he was glad his American frlen’s, present by agreement In the Rhelnlan’. to welcome—says that to me. an’ would the Herr Soldier like a good cup of coffee?" “Dam’ his remarks —how 'bout the coffee?" “Well. It tasted funny, but it was hot" “Old guy at our billet gave us some cognac. Hot stuff! He didn’t let on. though.—You know those trick certtfeates a soldier's family gets in Germany?—Colored picture like a Crol’ Guerre certlfcate, shows a fat. beer-drinkln' Heinle angel standin' over a dead Roche—signed Wilhelm L R.—you know. “Well, this bird had six of them In his front room, all framed on the wall. I gathered they was hia sons. Four bumped off at Verdun in 1918. One very recent—Solssons. July.—Wonder if we met that fella? He stood there an' looked at me while I was readtn* them, an’ he loosen mcr a wolf. I don't blame him. But how come he gave us the cognac— ?~ Later the battalion learned that the Boche had orders to be hosnltable. . . . , Toward noon the clouds lifted, and the rain slowed to a thin drizzle, although it did not stop. The battalion filed between hills towart! a great valley, dimly seen. The hUls towered over them. dark, menacing— "No wonder the ole Boche has such a mean disposition, livin' In a country like this—” The battalion came into a town with paved streets and trolleycars and tall factory chimneys that did not smoke. Platoon ' commanders said it was Remagen; those towers to the right would be the bridge. There was a bridge, a great steel structure of high black arcbea. The battalion filed upon it Under it black

Old English Monarch Man of Modern Ideas

Burglary Insurance to no modern Institution. It seem* to have existed from the time of King Alfred and was probably introduced by this king who, bad he lived In these times, would have made a name aa a successful bustnere man. The town of Ripon. England, be gave in 886 Into the ch/rge of a council. who appointed a watchman to blow a horn every night at nine o'clock. Between that hour and sunrise the town was quiet and no one was supposed to be abroad. But Ripon wa* not altogether a law-abid-ing place and presently the town aothorities found it necessary to proHMt Brought Bill A young woman entered a milliner** shop with a young man and paid a small deposit on a hat. which she promised to call for In a few days. However, it wa* several week* later WtM* she returned. The asadstaM havb^’wi 100 ’ “Oh. no," she replied. “You

water flowed swiftly, with surges and eddies dimpled by the rain. High rocky hills came down out of the mist on the farther side. "So this is the Rhine," remarked the battalion. “Hell!” A few flies were Interested. A lank Texan said: “I don't see much to make a fuss about You boys ever see the Trinity in overflow time? Ten miles from bank to bank, in the McKenzie Bend country —why, we'd call thia a creek down where I come from—” “Naw. it ain’t much river—an’ no more is your dam' Trinity! I was raised in Sent Louie— Ole Mlre’sip’. now—’ “Well, rivers tn this country are mainly over-touted. That Marne, it wouldn’t be much more’n a branch, down South. I never saw that there Vesle river, but a guy In the Thirty-second division, that was With me tn Neuilly, he says you could mighty near Jump across It" “Heard anything about chow? —Galleys went on ahead awhile ago— when do we eat—” For four years n« hostile troops with arms tn their hands had seen this river; only sad files of prisoners had crossed it under German guard. The battalion turned right on the eastern bank and went up the river, on a broad road between a cliff and the \ \' 1 W d&? X. swift black water. There were many houses, a continuous town. It was past noon of a Friday, the 13th December, and the Boche school-children were out They gathered to look at the passing column. The marines eyed them keenly. * These kids were different. They did not point or talk or cry out, after the manner es children. They stood in stolid groups, wooden-faced, with unwinking pale-blue eyes. The boys were nearly all in field-gray uniform cloth —cut down, perhaps, from the cast-off clothes of an elder. Some of them wore boots and round soldiercaps. They carried books and lunchboxes, knapsack fashion, on their shoulders.—“ Look. will you—that kid there ain’t more’n a yeariin’, and they’ve got him in heavy marchin* order a'ready!” “Yeh,—they start ’em early —that's howcome they’re the way they are —these Boche.” There were round-faced little girls with straw-colored braids, in cloaks. They did not look poorly fed. like the waxen-faced children the battalion remembered in France. And at every corner there were more of them. The battalion was Impressed.—“ Say—yon see all those kids—al| those little square-heads! Hundreds of 'em. I’ll swear! Something’s got to be done about these people. I tell you. these Boche are dangerous! They have too many children —■" One more song—“ Long Boy." One of the very few soldier songs that survived the Atlantic voyage—although it suffered some sea change —was “Long Boy." It ran (with variations) : “Good-bye, Maw! Good-bye. Paw. Good-bye. mule, with your old heehaw. . . . e•e. e e e e rn brine you a Turk aa* a Kateer too. And that’s about alt one fellow can do. . . ." - This file pictured above is chejwlng his soul in the angle of the bridge at Slliy-le-Long. Just outside of Cognac Pete’s buvette. In a little while an M. P. with no ear for music will run him in. [THE END.)

tect it* peaceful citizens against raider* and lubbers. And so a law waa passed that any householder wishing ao to protect hl* bouse from robbery should pay 4 pence a year to the authorities. Then. If hia house was entered and his goods stolen or damaged between the blowing of the horn and sunrise, he could claim from th* town council, who undertook to compensate him.—Music and Youth. Matter Easily Settled Mr. Wombat (who. tn the abeencs of his wife, has called in Sherlock Holme* to consult him)—Mr. Holme*. 1 wish your invaluable aid tn deciding which present I shall get for my wife for her birthday—an electric range, or a fuU-length mirror. Sherlock (after quick inspection of the kitchen and bedroom)—The mirror wrlll reva leases V' rtjWl ittasITJM, ♦lt off wtu pmsv uhk* floor in your wife’s boudoir shows more evidence of wear than that In ■ It Is said that mosquitoea are more ! apt to bite persons with talr tikin*

THE SYRACUSE JOURNAL

LEADING f LADY I GERALDINE J BONNER QQMM6HT by 7hi BOBBS-MERRt IL CO - WNLUM RWCE

CHAPTER X—Continued -How did he get off?” Bassett’s voice was raised tn his | exasperation: "Good Lord. Rawson, we weren’t jailed here then. He could have had a boat hidden in one of the coves. This place wasn’t escape-proof till you I turned up. He could have rowed ashore and landed anywhere, and I that's what he's done." “Unless he’s here.” I “Here on the island?” Williams spoke with an air of patient reminder: “Ain’t we gone over it with a fine tooth comb?” Rawson pointed to the ceiling: “How about that top story? A person—we won’t say who—could have killed the woman, entered the house while the rest of you were on the beach, put back the pistol, and gone upstairs." Williams made a motion to heave himself up from his chair. “Well, if that’s how you feel about | it let’s go up and have a look for the ' person.” “We needn't do that Just now j They’re as safe as if they were be- ! hind bars. There's something I want to do down here first—have a talk with Miss Tracy. She may be able to give usga little light.” “She can’t help you." said Bassett. “They weren’t on confidential terms. She’d be the last person he’d tell anything to.” He believed what he said, but his heart sank. Anne to be dragged through another interrogation, an inj terrogation with a hideous suspicion behind it! , Rawson rose: “Perhaps so, but it’s worth trying. She may know more than you think; sisters sometimes do. And she ceri tainly must have more knowledge of him than any of us. We’ll soon see.” He moved toward the door. “I’ll go up and get her now." CHAPTER XI When Anne went up to her room she took a seat by the window where she could see the channel. It was an undecipherable blackness, its farther limit defined by the shore lights. But the night was very still, the sagging weight of cloud hung low. pressing j down sounds. She closed the door and decided : now she might rest, not go to bed yet. but lie down and try to get back to courage and control. She took off her dress and put on her negligee, and with hands raised to loosen her hair heard a step on the stairs. It struck upon her ear. heavy and quick, a man’s step, and she remained as she was, her arms lifted, her eyes staring into her reflected eyes in the mirror. She stood thus till it stopped at her door. When the knock came and Rawson's voice spoke her name, the hands dropped and she moved to the door. “Can you come downstairs for a minute?" the voice said, low and guarded. . “I'm sorry to ask you to get up." She opened the door. "I hadn’t gone to bed. Yes. course I’ll come. You want to —” “Just ask you a few more questions. l'ir. glad I didn’t wake you." She followed him along the passage and down the stairs. When she entered the library her glance fell on Bassett facing her across the room, his brows drawn low over the dark trouble of his eyes. His look told her of anxiety, apprehension and a passionate concern for her. Williams indicated an armchair near the desk: “Take a seat. Miss Tracy. Sorry we've had to call you down." She fell into it and. as the men settled themselves in theirs, ran her tongue along her dry lips and took a deep breath of air into her luuga. “We've been making some Inquiries about your brother. Miss Tracy." Rawson began. "About his leaving here. You told us, as I remember. that you knew ha went." "Why. yes. he went." “Did you sea him go?" ‘•\- o —i didn’t see the boat go, I was upstairs, but of course he went" "We’ve found out that he didn't," said Rawson. "Mr. Rawson’s seen Gabriel." Bassett spoke very gently. "And be says be didn't take Joe over." “But 1 don't understand. He was all ready. I said good-by to him. It was his holiday he’d been looking forward to it, he was crazy to go.” "And be told you he was going, wanted to go. Was he Jolly and goodhumored like a person starting on a holiday?” “Yes—why shouldn't he be? It was what bed been longing to do for years. After I left him I went tn my room and dressed and when I went downstairs 1 saw that his bag and fishing rod. which he told me he'd left by the entrance, were gone, and I thought of course he was. And he has. he’s gone some other way ” “You’re sure he's gone?” Rawson's emphasis on “you’re” was heavy. She looked at him with startled ayes: “Ye*, aren’t you? Why. yon don’t think he's borer Rawson addressed Bassett: "Didn't you tell me he was to stop tonight in Bangor and meet Ma frioudr “Yee-they were to start out in the ■nnmlnr" i were they staying?" 1

“home notel. 1 don't know me name. Do you remember it. Anne?” She snook her head: “No. If he told «e I’ve forgotten. I’ve no idea what it was.” ‘‘Hold on a minute.” said Williams, stretoning out his hand. “Shine spoke to me about that. He was asking about a hotel in Bangor young Tracy recommended — the Algonquin inn That may be IL” Rawson swung the desk chair round and drew the telephone to him: "We can find out In a minute.” They sat without moving while Rawson made the connection. “Is there a Mr. Tracy there—Joe Tracy?” And then a period of listening, punctuated with grunts of assent from Rawson. Then. “Mr. Travers has gone—left on the six-fifteen this evening—I see.” A silent stretch and a final “Thanks—that's all I wanted. Much obliged.” The receiver clicked into its hook, and Rawson swung the chair toward them: "Travers has been there waiting since last night. Tracy never showed up. Travers had no message from him and left this evening for Moosehead lake.” For a moment there was no comment. Anne raised her eyes, the sides of the room looked a long way off and * * I She Opened the Door. the light seemed to have intensified to a violent glare as if she were sitting in the midst of a dazzling illumination. “1 don't know what to make of that” she said, the words dropping slowly with spaces between. “Neither do we. Mis* Tracy,” said Rawson, and leaning back, has hands clasped over his stomach, he gazed intently at her through his hornrimmed glasses. "Yes, you do.” she said and heard her voice hoarse and changed. “You've made something of it already. And what, you've made is lies—wicked lies." ; Then she had seen it Bassett made a step forward, but she leaped to her feet, oblivious of him: “You think he did 1L Just because you can't find him. That’s all he’s done, gone away. You must be crazy. What would he do It for? Don’t you have to have a reason to commit murder? ’They weren’t good friends. 1 don't

Smallpox Still Has the Be»t of Science

Smallpox, historically one of the oldest diseases, has long battled med h-a! science. It seems to have been Intown from the earliest times in India. It existed in China many cen curies before Christ And the erup th»n on the skin of a mummy of the Twentieth dynasty. 1200-1100 B. C~ suggests that it was prevalent tn Egypt. The Crusades were probably largely responsible for bringing the disease from the East to the West Thus in the Fifteenth and subsequent cen turles numerous epidemics occurred, with a high mortality. Since the beginning of the Twentieth century two distinct types of smallpox bare been simultaneously present tn Great Britain, writes ■ physieisn in the London Mall. The first of these to a mild, highly Infectious type, with a mortality -f la*» than 1 per cent which originated In the United States and Canada and was first Introduced Into England about 19084 k The second to a much more virulent type, which originated In northern Quotations Garbled Lord Brooke wrote more than three hundred years ago, “And out of minde as sc»on as out of sight” which is now reversed in “Out of sight to out of mind." “She and comparisons are odious," wrote Dr. John Donne, and he is variously interpreted. Even Ben Jonson, speaking Os Shakespeare’s “small Latin and les* Greek." has “little” substituted for “small." Milton’s “human face divine” gets "form" for face, and “all" to adopted for “neighboring” ta ti» fomous “the cynosure gro" has “haunts” for “hum."

wouldn't tell me. And W AAgfit 44 a quarrel, a grievance? But tha wouldn’t make him want to kill her!' “I’ve told then! that. Anne.” Basset! implored; “there's no use going over it” Rawson leaned suddenly forward and caught her by the wrist: "What did you see last night Id the living room?” If be had meant to surprise her he failed of his purpose. She hung back from his grip and said with defiant emphasis: “I saw nothing!” “Are you sure it wa* a book you came down for?” “It was a book, as I told you.” "You could read a few hours after your friend was murdered?” “I could try to read —it was better than thinking.” ‘•You've got a pretty cool head. Miss Tracy,” he added, and relinquished her hand. She fell back in her chair as if his hold upon her had been ail that sustained her in an upright position. He rose, looking down at her. curious and unsatisfied: “I guess we’ll call a halt for a while. We’ve other work to attend to But wait here till we come back; we may have to do some more talking.” He turned to Williams and gave a Jerk of his head toward the hall. “Come on. we ll go up there now." He walked to the door. Williams following him. As It shut after them Bassett went to her and bent over her chair. She held him off with a hand on his breast and whispered: “Where are they going?" “Upstairs, to the top story.” ‘ She clutched the lapels of his coat: “He’s there, he's up there." "He—whoU “Joe!” Bassett stared her eyes. He thought her senses wfre giving way : ‘'Anne, darling, what’s the matter? Joe’s not here—you’ve Just said so yourself.” “I said what wasn’t true —he’s there.” • He caught her arms and drew her to her feet "What do you mean?” “I know It, I’ve seen hlz».” “Seen Joe himself?” “Last uight when 1 came down for the book. He’s hiding ui* there —I thought he was safe. And now they’ll find him.’’ “I saw tke launch go without him and 1 was going to speak to you. but Shine was there and I couldn’t. Then she was killed and 1 didn’t know what to think, where he’d gone, anything! But that night I heard them oay there ‘’was a man on guard at the and I came down to tell h!lh in case he was here and would try to get across. And then I saw him.” “Where?” “In the living room. He came from the door into the kitchen wing and J whispered It.” “Did he sjay anything?” “No—just ran the way he’d come in. And then 1 knew —■” she stopped and closed her eyes. “Oh. I didn’t know it but I thought It. Can it be tru e—could he have done it? One minute I’m sure and then I can’t believe it; and I don’t know, I don't know.” Drawing away from him she ran to the door, and opening It. stood listening. He followed her and with pauses for that tense listening, she told him of her visit to the top flojr. “Will you help we?” she whispered. “Will you help me whatever happens?” He nodded, there was no time now for words. He motioned her to sit down, and moved back from her. listening to steps which were crossing the living room, entermg the hall. Were they louder than they had been going up, were there three iMiir of feet where there had been two? They stopped at the door, it opened and Rawson and Williams entered. Rawson spoke to Anne: “You can go upstairs. Miss Tracy. We'll put off the rest of opr talk till tomorrow. You better try to get some rest. And kindly remember to stay in vour room. I don t want any mistakes made about that tonight.’ She murmured words of compliance and rising with pale composure left the library. When the door shut on her Bassett - "You got nothing up there at all?” (TO BE

Africa and spread -thence to Spain. France. Italy and Great Britain. Although tbir variety is not so infectious, the mortality is greater. Blue Prints for a Home Newlywed, to the real estate saiee man who is trying to sell her a home. Why buy a home? I was born in a hospital ward, reared in a boarding school, educated in a college, courts in an automobile,. and married in a church; get my meals at cafeteria, live in an apartment; spend my mornings playing golf, my afternoons playing bridge; in the evening we dance or go to the movies; when I’m sick I go to the hospital, and when 1 die I shall be buried from an undertaker's. Why should we buy a home, I ask you? Ail we need to a garage with bedroom.— The Outlook. Why He Fled The sorry looking man was charged with burglary and malicious assault The victim was in the witness box. “You say you called to see Miss Billings and that you were in the sitting room with her at the time the burglary was committed?” asked the judge. “Yes. str.” replied the witness. “Then how," continued the judge, “did it happen that when the prisoner dashed into the room and assaulted vou. you leaped through an open window without attempting to defend the young lady or even summon aid?” T thought it was her father, str." Extend Helping Word A helping word to one in trouble to often like a switch on a railroad track—but one inch between wretk .

Just JS" THE ESSENTIALS . j, Mr. S. Lowe Scribbler, the great novelist, was in a very bad temper. “Bless my aunt!” he shrieked to his open-mouthed wife, as she stood in the doorway. “Every time I try to settle down and do a spot of work I find that somebody has been meddling with my materials!” “What’s missing now, dear?” asked the wife. That new detective novel I bought and my tobacco jar.” he growled. A STINGING VINE i o v ' ° m. — Imp Longwed—Justwed sayS his ifife la a true clinging vine. Neverwed— She sure Is. And poison ivy, at that Service An artist could not turn ths trick Os effort sad or funny, He learned to lay a row of brick And earned himself some money. A Small Point Wife—So your client was acquitted of murder. On what grounds? Lawyer—lnsanity. We proved that has father had spent five years In an insane asylum. ; f “But he hadn’t, had he?” "Yes. He was a doctor there, but we saw no necessity of bringing that fact out” Not Always Sure Candidate (on stump)—My friends, how shall we get out of this bed of thistles on to the bright plains of our desires?; * Ex-caddle —Take a niblick, guvnor. Proof Positive . “Jim used to be a great sportsman. Is he reconciled to married life?” T think so. I called on him recently and found him sifting ashes through an old tennis racket.” Not a Bad World She—Everything was lost in the fire. He—Don’t worry, dear; it could be worse. Somebody might have saved the radio your cousin gave us. I O. K. THEN / “You should never marry a girl unless she has a •special calling." “Well, my girl is a telephone operator.” Impersonations Little Willie is a funny And eccentric little waif. Swallowed al! his sister’s nwniy— Said that he was “playing safe." Experience Robert—What makes you think that I have loved another girl before you? Miitilda—Because you always feel for pins before you hug me.—l’athliiider. ■ c Half-Hour Turns i| Gibbs—Rain, sunshine, sleet and ■now alMn one day. Isn’t the weather villainous? Dlbbs —Villainous isn’t the word; It’s vaudevillainous. She Foozles ‘Annette, you seem upset" Yes. Algy lost S4OO on the races yesterday.” "Was that your fault?” “No, but he took me along as his mascoL” , Exceptions Nick —If a fellow has the money he can get anything just the way he wants it Hick—Well, I don’t agree—consider tike soft boiled egg! OtAer Way Arotma Barnes—l make my son practice four hour* each day. Rod—Henvens, man. you’ll make him hate male ee much that he will give it up. Barnes—Fine! That’s just what 1 want "Do yea believe in love at first SMtdNNI are sometimes dangerous"