The Syracuse Journal, Volume 5, Number 36, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 2 January 1913 — Page 6

Mt" HIS LAST ARGUMENT CARRIED Pressing Business Matters and Other Important Things Overshadowed by Expiring Ticket "Yes, I really must go tomorrow.” “You can just as well stay till Monday.” ‘'But the folks are jxpectlng me.” "Telegraph them that you’re going to stay." “I’m sorry, but if I stay I’m liable to lose SI,OOO on the deal I told you of.” “Oh, pshaw, the deal can wait a few days.” “My manager has written that my business needs my attention." “Yes, but he is only afraid to assume a little responsibility. The business will be all right.” “There is an important meeting of the directors that I really must attend." “Oh, they’ll get along all right -without you,” "You know how much I’d like to stay, but the fact is my railroad ticket runs out tomorrow.” "Well, in that case, I suppose you wilt have to go. Be sure and come up to see us again in a month or two.” —Puck. Gettirig at It. “Margaret, that young man who calls on you seems to have lots of money. What’s his business?" “He’s a broker, I think, father. Anyhow, he sells stocks and bends and things like that” “H’m! Is he successful at it?’ » “Yes, very.” “His own boss, too, I presume?" “Yes, he tells me he can go and come whenever he pleases.” “That’s what I thought. Well, he can’t do that around here. Just tell him tomorrow night, will you, that ten o'clock is quitting time in this house. I’m still boss here, and while he may come when he pleases, he’s got to go when I say so.” —Detroit Free Press. Amused the Warden. Ray T. Baker, warden of the Nevada penitentiary, is abolishing with wonderful success all the brutalizing rules of the old time prison system. Mr. Baker’s prisoners lead healthy, industrious lives. They study and they work. And on leaving the prison they engage in honest labor. “Our institution,” Mr. Baker said to a Reporter, “isn’t much like a reformatory I once visited in my youth. “‘A very strange thing happened to this reformatory back in ’B9,’ a warden said to me. ‘“Yes? And what was that?’ I asked. “ ‘One of the prisoners,’ he replied, ‘reformed.’ New York Tribune. IT MADE HIM SLEEP. 11 Playwright—l think 1 saw you going in to see th© opening performances of my play last night, didn’t I? The Critic—Yes, and it was late when I got out— Playwright—What? Why, the final curtain fell at 10:31 exactly. The Critic—l know, but I overslept myself. A Lawyer’s Troubles. "Why are you trying to get a jury of blondes?” “Hardly know myself. First case I ever tried before a jury of women. My client, as you see, is a yellow haired dame, and ishe seems to think that brunettes have a grudge against blondes.” Perfectly Plain. "I wonder,” said the youthful student, “how the prodigal son came to go broke?" “I suspect,” replied Farmer Corntossel, “it was because he spent his time in town hangin’ around talkin’ about how to uplift the farmer.” Evolution of the Mortgage. “Farming methods have changed, haven’t they?” “Yep,” replied Farmer Corntossel. “Now a man things he’s unlucky if he has to borrow money on his place. He used to think he was lucky if he was able to.” No Wonder They're Precious. "Why are diamonds so highly valued?” “I suppose,” replied Mr. Growcher, “it’s because they are made of carbon, which is the equivalent of coal, and at the same time looks like ice.”

IRISHMAN KNEW THE ANSWER Couldn’t Flurnish Thousand Knot-holes Because Brewery Wanted Them for Bung-holes. An Irishfnan was newly employed at a lumber office. The proprietors of the company were young men and decided to have some fun with the new Irish hand, Patrick was duly left in charge of the office, with instructions to take all orders which might come in during their absence. Going tb a nearby drug store they proceeded to call up the lumber company’s office and the following conversation hnsued: “Hello! Is this the East Side Lumber company?” ) "Yes, sir. And what would ye be havin’?” “Take an order, will you?” “Sure. That’s what I’m here for.” "Please send us up a thousand knot-holes.” “What’s" that?” • “One thousand knot-holes.” “Well, now, an ’ ain’t a bloomin’ shame? I’m sorry, but we are just out" • “How’s that?” “Just sold them all to the new brewery.” ; “To the brewery? "What do they Want with sthem?” “By golly, an’ they use them for bungholes ’in barrels.”—Delineator. The Wonder of It. "I wonder what is the trouble across the street?” “Wait here a moment and I’ll go and try to see.” "No, please, dear, don’t. I'm afraid you may get hurt in the crowd." "I’ll be careful not to get In where the trouble Is. Stay right here, and I’ll be back) in a minute." “Well, what is it? The crowd seems to be more excited than it was when you went oyer. How long you stayed! ” “It’s nothing much. There’s a moving picturb show over there, where they are advertising a film which shows a modern society woman feeding her own baby." NO WONDER. t “Me bruejder makes good money.” “Does he?” “Yes; he’s workin’ in de mint” ' s&r Tragedies Told in Headlines. “River Cuts New’ Channel; Moves Farmer Luphwell Over Into Dry Coun ty.” “Fat Main’s Bicycle Breaks When Starting E*own Long Hill.” “The Rev. Mr. Simpson Stirs Up Nest of Bumblebees; Man with Mov ing Picture Machine Happens Along and Gets Gfood Film.” “Man in Trouble Hunts Vainly foi a Friend; Is Copy Reader on Daily Thunderbolt?” They Were Not Mushrooms; Doctor Arrives Just in Time.” “Young Man Loses Sweetheart; Hia Younger Brother Had Sprinkled Red Pepper on? the Candy." Neighborly Advice. Two East side men, neighbors, sat on their pbrehes one pheasant afternoon recently, when a child who lived next door to one began emitting a series of shrieks that could be heard all over the neighborhood. “My, but I wish there was some way to put a stop to that,” said the man “next door.” “I get it all day long when !l’m at home.” “Why don’t you file a court action against him?” asked the neighbor. “How could I?” "Easily. Proceed under .the city or dinance which prohibits open mufflers.” —Kansas City Journal. Seeking Knowledge. The Professor —A species of white ants, called termite, is noted for its high hills or dwellings. If the houses of men were proportionately high, size for size, the humblest cottage would be a mild in height. The Student —Now, professor, wil! you please) figure it out and, tell us proportionately just where the roof of the modern skyscraper would be? All at Sea. “My friends,” fervently exclaimedv one of the j temperances spellbinders in the recent campaign for local option in an up-state county, “if all the saloons were at the bottom of the sea, what would be the inevitable result?” And from the rear came the an swert “Lpts of people would get drowned.”— Michigan Gargoyle. The Wretch. “I am afraid my husband Is tending a double life.” “Heavens’ What has aroused your suspicions?” “He sneaked fifty cents out of his pay envelope last weeji, and tried when I found it out, to make me think he had done it by mistake.” Haiarding an Opinion. “Which do you consider the most melodious ’Wagnerian opera?” aeked Mrs. Cumrox. “There ajre several I haven’t heard, aren’t therje?” rejoined her husband “Yes.” “Then I guess it’s one of them.” Inevitable Print. Kitty—lsn’t it a most fortunate thing? Ethel—What? Kitty—That people can’t read the kisses that have been printed upon a girl’s lips.

CHINESE SLAVE GIRLS AND THEIR MASTER I I flow fO iVh - This photograph taken in San Francisco, shows four Chinese girls, who were discovered disguised as members of the Chinese crew of the steamer Nippon Maru, and Leong Moon, a Chinese interpreter, who Was arrested by United States customs inspectors for trying to smuggle the girls into the United States for slave purposes. Leong tried to bribe the inspector with SI,OOO, but to no avail.

MAN FACED DEATH

Describes Sensations When He Nearly Lost His Life. Writer Was Almost Drowned, Was Wounded by an Arab’s Spear and Attacked With Deadly Cholera and Still Lives. London. —In the course of an adventurous life I have been face to face with death many times, but I recall no more than three occasions when I lost hope and resigned myself to leave “the warm precincts of the cheerful day,” says a London writer. My actual thoughts and feelings? at these times were so different from the generally accepted ideas on the subject that I venture to think that a description of them may possibly be considered of interest to many. It was my luck to be drowned once upon a time —as far as senatlon went. It did not happen when I walked over a wharf in New York on a dark night, nor when I found myself under on overturned surfboat on the west coast, of Africa, but it occurred In a public swimming bath in London, and two friends looked on and laughed while I was drowning. We had gone' Into the bath ea?ly one morning after a tiring night’s work, and we three were the only occupants. I was frolicking about l at the deep end, when I was 5 suddenly seized with cramps and let out a strangled shout of distress. My friends knew that I was a good swimmer and thinking that I was acting, the drowning man, as I had often done before In their company, laughed at my comical flounderings and my agonized appeals for help. Indeed, as long as I retained consciousness, my thoughts seemed to concentrate of their own volition, upon the asininity of my companions In not being able to see that I really was drowning. At no time during my struggles was there any thought of my past life, nor did it occur to me to think a prayer, although I was a religious man and knew that I was very near death. My last sensation was the fancy tjiat I heard soft, tinkling music, an illusion that has been explained to me as having been caused by the water trickling into my ears. Then, again, I was once unlucky enough to get a couple of inches or so of a broad-bladed Arab spear poked between two of my ribs, and the doctor told me frankly that if I had any dying messages to leave I had better speak them while I could, as I would soon be. beyond speech. The chaplain thought that I was in extremis. He was not of my faith, but he was no narrow sectarian, and he offered me the consolations of my own religion as well as he could. But his voice sounded as if it came from afar, and I couldn’t follow what he Tas saying. I only wished he would come nearer, so that I could make another attempt to finish that message. It was i. message I had always intended to send before the curtain was rung down, and it seemed to be the only thing that mattered. The blood that welled up into my mouth was chcking me, and it was painful—oh, so painful!—to breathe; but, after all, I thought, dying was not so bad, and I could be glad to go if I could only finish that message. The scene shifts now to a cholera camp. All the seizures up to mine had ended fatally, and I had no hope whatever of any other issue. But I wasn’t thinking of the hereafter. My mind was entirely taken up to the exclusion of everything else, with the terrible physical agony I was undergoing, and I was longing for death to come to put ar end to it. It seemed to mo that there was no boon like death, and I craved and longed for it to come with all my souL Says Wed at 30. New York.—“ There will be fewer divorces if women did not marry until they were thirty,” said Mrs. O. H. P. Belmont, suffrage and society leader. ‘Women know their own minds better than others.” )? ?

BANDITS NOW USE BIOGRAPH Traveler Falls an Easy Victim of Their Trick When They Hire Him as Actor. Cologne.—Up-to-date highwaymen in Germany are now using the biograph as an accessory. Franz Kugler, while walking along the banks of the Rhine, encountered a couple of thugs, robbing a woman. He interfered and they took io their heels. While the woman was profhse-

HOWLS CHASE i TEN THIEVES They Flee Without Booty When Restaurant Cashier Yells and Saves Register. New York.—Five men entered the Western luncheon at 4 Dey street. Five other men loitered outside. One of those who entered asked Aaron Zuckman for a few cigarettes, Zuckman stooped to get the cigarettes out of the case. While his head was bent he heard a peculiar noise like metal scraping on wood. He raised his head quickly. One of the customers was embracing the cash register as though it was his intention to bear it away in his 1 arms. Zuckman is cashier at the restaurant and he knew that none save himself and the boss had a right to lay hands on the register. So he yelled. The man with the cash register in his arms paused; he seemed annoyed. One of the others picked up a bowl containing toothpicks and fired it at Mr.Zuckman’s head. The aim was true; the bowl struck Mr. Zuckman on the cranium, scattering toothpicks and ricochetting round the cigar counter. Still another of the customers reached out and jabbed his fingers into Mr. Zuckman’s eyes. Zuckman let out another howl. “Five of them ran toward Church street and five toward Broadway,” said Zuckman in detailing the attempted robbery to a reporter. Just . then Mr. Zuckman’s boss appeared and ordered him to say no more. Zuckman, however, had already stated that he knew two of the men. Hv said they were employed on a buildin- in process of construction near the restaurant, and had frequently been in there for pie and sanwiches. Detectives from the Greenwich station were assigned to the case.

HARVARD LADS PLAY “KIDDOO”

■ 3 Something Happens Whenever Students See Attractive Girl on Street. Cambridge, Mass. —"Kiddoo” is the newest diversion at Harvard. It is a game that originated among the law students. The young women of the college community play an important part in the pastime, but they call it “awful” and sometimes threaten to call an officer. Whenever students see a young woman approaching, if one of them deems her good looking, he raises his right arm, aims the first two fingers at her and in a voice stentorian shouts “Klddoo," whereupon the young woman’s face gives a kaleidoscopic imitation of seventeen different kinds of rainbows. As she passes, the others look her over, in a manner intended to be inoffensive, but nevertheless searching, and embarrassing. Then all except the “kiddooer” consult If they decide the girl is good looking the “kiddoo” chap is credited with ten points, if not, he loses ten points. Fifty points constitute the possible total. If it is on the winning side the possessor of the required figure is treated by the rest; if on the losing end the victim must purchase. One student, called “Rags,” was forty points to the bad. In the distance he espied a maid. He made out the contour of a Venus-like figure. Surely the possessor of such a form must be good looking. As she tripped into the light “Rags” noted that she was heavily veiled. He couldh’t lose now. The fair one was within twenty feet, when “Rags” pointed at her and triumphantly yelled “Kiddoo!” Instead of shying away the maiden set sail straight for “Rags.” Her voice quivered with anger. Her dialect was unmistakable. “What’ fo' you done point at me, man? Wha’ fo’? Huh?” And she ended by landing a heavy left on “Rags’ ” jaw. “Rags” took to his heels. He “set them up,” but he has quit the game.

__________ I ly thanking her rescuer, a well- I dressed stranger, stepping out from f behind a bowlder, introduced himself as the manager of a moving picture concern and expressed his appreciation of the part Kugler had unwittingj ly played in the little drama, lix fact, , he was so impressed with Kugler’s \ histrionic ability that he offered him , tc job as actor on the spot. I Kugler accepted, and when it came . his turn to pose before ’ the camera ’ allowed himself to be robbed. His - poclfetbook, watch and chain and

BOOKS WILL BE BAKED HERE Worms and Germs In Montclair, N. J., Library Are Doomed to Death. Montclair, N. J.—Book worms and bacteria will have short lives in the Montclair free public library after a sterilizing device, which the board of directors of the library has installed, gets down to work. By this apparatus germs are to be destroyed by the principle of long continued heat. The object of its Installation Is to protect patrons froX danger of contagion and at the same ( time preserve books where contagious diseases have prevailed. The heat is supplied by gas jets in the base of a metal cabinet. Temperatures ranging from 150 to 200 degrees Fahrenheit are maintained by an automatic device. INITIATED IN JAIL; FAINTS Young Woman Sees Members of Sorority Waving Bloody Turkey Wings. Greeley, Cold. —A score of sorority girls conducted an initiation in the abandoned jail here and as a result of their weird rites the candidate fainted and had to be taken to her home. The young woman who sought admission to the society was led blindfolded to the jail. When the blind was removed she gazed upon a score of girls arrayed in ghostly robes, each waving bloody turkey wings. The only light upon the scene came from a bathtub in which alcohol had been lighted. ’Deputy Sheriff Frazier had killed a number of turkeys in the building during the afternoon and the blood from them was spattered about the floor. Favors Use of Slang. Cambridge, Mass. —Mary Green Conklin, author-playwright and student at Radcliffe college, says “slang is all right” and is finding many apt pupils in her efforts to teach the latest slang to her classmates.

jg — ? PLEASURE KISSES NOW FADE Smack of Duty Alone Remains In Society, It Is Said, by London Correspondent. London. —Kisses may be divided into two classes, pleasure kisses and duty kisses. At the present time, we are told, the former have gone out of fashion, but duty kisses remain, whereof some examples. Nothing is more dainty than the kiss of a wellbred chaperon, who, mindful of the time and trouble spent over the powder box, gently presses her Ups on your hair just north of your ear. The minister’s wife is another sweet soul, who knows where K a kiss will do the least harm, and her favorite method is an air kiss, with a gentle pressure of her cheek to your cheekThe woman of fashion, who patronizes you and lets you visit her while she is at her siesta, kisses you anywhere between the eye, ear and hair line. CUTTING WIFE’S CREDIT COST Feeling Disgraced, Mrs. Pohl of Brooklyn, N. Y., Insists on Moving to New Residence. New York. —Although the purpose of A. W. J. Pohl of Brooklyn in advertising that he would not be responsible for his wife’s debts was to save his money by making it impossible for her to buy gifts for her relatives, his sister-in-law, Mrs. George H. Pohl, said that it would cost him far more than the price of Christmas gifts to atone for his action. “His wife has been made ill by the publicity,” said Mrs. George Pohl. “She considers herself disgraced. She insists that if her husband wishes her to remain with him he will have to move to some neighborhood where they are not known, as she is ashamed to show her face to her neighbors.”

other valuables were taken; then he was knocked down and left unconscious. On recovering, Kugler found his fellow “actors” had * disappeared along with the “manager” and the camera man. Rescued Mourn for Dog. , Tacoma, Wash.—A collie dog who saved 20 lives in a fire was buried at Walla Walla with impressive ceremo nies in which those he saved took part as mourners.

ON BD OF CHEER Salt of the Earth Doing Man’s Work in Wonderful Woman’s Way. By LILIAN DUCEY. (Copyright. 1313, by Universal Press Hyn- I Oicate.) Something like the divine fever of spring always stirred within Dr. Cosgrave at Christmas time. Each year, for 365 days, less one evening, he was i the staid and steady surgeon, a gen- : era! in his field, but on Christmas eve , he sallied forth and joined the motley , throng along the blazing trail of spar- j kling shops. He saw her first, arms full of bun- j dies, emerging from one of the bril- j liant stores. He, himself, was on the point of entering, but the joy of her face, the light of her eyes stayed hSi. Howfcver, the light was not for him. Ohjgro! Coming along were two raggedurchins. And she fairly seized them. “Os course you have a sister at home —” her voice lilted and sang— | “for there’s a doll in here! And you are brothers; I can see that. Some of the things are for boys, too!” She filled their arms with bundles. “Now go right home. They .are from Santa and a Merry Christmas!” Dr. Cosgrave stood and stared, as it dawned upon him that here was someone employing his same unique method of dispensing Christmas cheer. He hadn’t known that in the whole wild world there might be another disciple of Santa other than himself. But there she was. He followed her into the store; but amid the bustle he lost her, then forgot her. In truth the road of cheer was such a fascinating one, once started along its trail, extraneous influences held no allure. But he saw her again, half an hour afterwards. And there was no mistaking her. Simply by th„e light ol It her face he would have know-n her. f Now she was leading a little girl by the hand, and in their wake came the poorly clad mother, the gleam of joy within her tired eyes. They were making their way toward Cosgrave to where, tj©r on tier, were piled dolls without number in their cardboard boxes. Cosgrave, himself, was gingerly holding a doll in each arm, as he waited for a little mite to make her choice. And in the minutes that followed he had nfuch ado to keep from talking. This was only beginning of many such encounters. Here, there, and everywhere they met, until Cosgrave could have/ sworn that in the depths of her eyes stood a sparkle of understanding. Mis own were alight with sparkles. >iever had the road of cheer been so pleasant. But ft did seem as if. two such Samaritans should speak in passing. However, even without, a bond semed to exist between them. As Cosgravd humorously put it, spirit was communing with spirit, although lips were mute. It was a bit of sentimentalism that made him feel unaccountably young and unaccountably foolish. But the experience was so pleasant that suddenly, by hook or by crook, he determined to get into conversation with her. “Why not?” he said to himself. “Why not?” echoed some taunting second self. But he was too late. When he set out to put his determination into effect, she was not to be found. To say that Cosgrave spent the rest of the time searching, is misstating. Certain it is, howpver, that much of the Christmas spirit fell from him. " At last he decided that he had played Santa Claus enough. And it was then, quite an hour later, that he came upon her again as he was leaving the store in a somewhat dejected Christmas spirit. “Oh, Mr. Santa —if you please—just a moment!" He gaped wiltless, for he had not seen her until she spoke. And speegh being beyond him, he simply lifted his hat, a purely mechanical movement. Tm in such a predicament,” she hurried on, blushing slightly. “I’ve been standing here—wondering what to do,” she paused. “You—you were doing what I was—that is why—” In spite of her unwavering gaze, she was having difficulty in expressing herself, and he rushed to the rescue. “If I can be of service to you, command me.” He was on the point of saying Mrs. Santa, but he held the words with set teeth. “I’ve lost my purse,” she spoke with assurance now, as if convinced of bis kindliness. ‘I haven’t a penny —and do not live in the city. Would you—could you let me have enough to get home? Fifty cents?—and if you’ll let me have your address—" “I would —and I could." Laughter twinkled all over Cosgrave’s face. “I haven’t spent as much as I expected to —see!” From his pocket he brought forth two five-dollar bills, one of which he handed her. “But I don’t need all that,” she protested. ‘Oh, but you can't tell,” he smiled whimsically. “Besides, here I have been giving my goods to rejoice the poor—why shouldn’t I succor the rich?” “If you really care to trust me—” she began. * “Trust you!” he cut in. Once more he had to hold his teeth upon what sprung to his lips. This time it was a phrase of childhood that had almost burst from him. He wanted to say: “I’ll trust you like anything,” but said instead: “Certainly.” “And your address?” she asked sweetl v. From a card case that he brought from an inside pocket, Cosgrave supplied her with the information. “Thank you.” She bowed slightly and looked at the card. The next moment she gave him a swift scrutiny, a look of understanding. But if he thought that she would offer evidence in kind, he was mistaken. As she tucked the card away in her glove, she said: “You’ll hear from me in the mbrninf, doctor. I’ll telegraph this to you

) the first thing in the morning." j whatever the man may hare wanted to say was lost in the rush of her departure. “If 1 make haste,” she hurried away, j “I’ll catch a train. Good bye—and than’., you so much!” j Cosgrave watched her go, raising | bis hat as she looked back after ? boarding a car Why hadn’t she gi T>en him L« r;, name? It came to him ? ruddc-nly that ah© like B person jof Importa’uc » i little at hia <-».e'/jtH / mtenee | desire- to know t • - •. .•v Into > the etore, baefc is.i.o 4‘rport” I iti nt and ’!.<• « '•••*■'' .'.>-sird , her r;- . ■ ■ / »t .. | that they h*d n.t LurU-#* > ! It ■> . - • ’ knov. jnjt Cosgrove *x»aj sidered »L< ’ -.<?£■ .L.t-ss and which h’t ti, with a mirthful sparkte in her eyet, I away with the news r.-. at cte. lady to question, who came there eacc year and played Mrs. Santa Cia'-s was Dr. Mary Joyce of Barivy. “Dr. .Mary Joyce,” he.eaid the name over and over to himselt as he went home. “Why, it smacks of the Christmas joy!" Then he wondered why the very fellowship of their professions should not have induced b«> to tell him who she was. In his office, Cosgrave called up a particular friend and colleague i who lived in that same town of Burley. Without preamble he went straight to the point, although he did laugh at himself as he “Kennedy,” he called, “do yon by any chance know a lady from, your place by the name of Joyce?” “Oh, hello, Cosgrave!” bellowed a. big voice with a fluting brogue. “Did you know it was 12 o’clock, mant And that life and death messages only should disturb a busy doctor from* his sleep at this hour?” Cosgrave could imagine the chuckle of amusement that went with this, but he was not to be deterred jjy It. “You didn’t answer my question. Kennedy,” he pursued. “Do you know Dr. Joyce?” “I do that,” the answer was prompt. “She’s the salt of the earth, aside from being most beautiful. And more than that, in a world of women and children she is doing a man’s work in a wonderful woman way. And furthermore, if you were to ask mej I’d tell you that men don’t exist to her. ■ Sure she has a heart like a basswood., ball where men are concerned.” He paused and asked: “Anything else you wanted?" “How are air the little Kennedys?” Cosgrave laughed. . “Fine!” Satisfaction edged the deep voice with greater depth. “I’m dressing the tree. Say, come up and spend Christmas with us? Sure, It’s only a stone’s throw to Dr. Joyce’s house.” 4 Again Cosgrave laughed Into the phone. “Kennedy,” he said, “you’re wrong. Can’t one physician inquire into the fnerits of another? bye! Run in and see me when w can.” The next moment he had rung off. But the next he was into his coat again. And presently in a ( florist’s shop he was writing a little ) note —to be sent with a dozen Amer-/ lean Beauty roses. It read: “Rlucked on the Road of From one Samaritan to another —with ’ the season’s greetings!” Then with eyes that flashed as a boy’s do when he takes a dare, he went back home and called up Dr. Ke?nnedy again. ‘Oh. Kennedy,” he laughed heartily, "I forgot to say that I acept your Invitation. Could you”—he coughed—“or rather, is there 'any way possible —" “There is,” the big voice mocked, even while it rang with decision. “Dr. ,Joyce is having dinner with us herself. She’s the youngest one’s godmother. Come on! ” Four Great Sauces. A Frenchman has declared that “man has created the culinary art: he does not eat like an animal—he breakfasts, dines and sups.” The French are particularly eloquent on the subject of sauces. Among their famous chefs are recognized four great sauces: Spanish, Veloute, Bechamel and German. The Spanish Veloute were known as far ‘ back to/ the seventeenth dentury. In the eighteenth they were modified by thtf masters of cookery, particularly by Careme, who was called “the Raphael of the kitchen.” The Spanish sauce Is composed of juices extracted from a mixture of ham, veal, chicken and pheasanL Veloute is similar, but is not colored. Bechamel is Veloute to which cream has been added, and the German sauce is Veloute plus the yolks of eggs.— Harper’s Weekly. Prudent Knight of the Road. “Here, my friend, take this overcoat. It belonged to my poor husband!” “Was your husband long ill, mad“No. He died suddenly, poor fellow.” “Aod he was usaa Hy well and to good health? “Oh, no one could have been better." , “Never had any rash or fever?" “Never.” ‘Good! Tell me, had he worn this overcoat often?” “Two or three times at the most.” •Very well! Then be kind enough to have it disinfected, my good lady I will return for it tomorrow. It is not altogether my taste as to style, but a poor devil like myself cannot be to critical.” —La Rira. Too Liberal. Wife—Here’s an advertisement to the paper that you’d better look into. It says a man is wanted, and he won’t be worked to death, and he’ll get enough to live on. Husband —Says he won’t be worked j to death, eh? "Yes, and they promise enough to live on.” ' “Huh! Some catch about that!" ‘Wise. Gibbs—That’s a' pretty rocky look- , ing umbrella you have there, old man., I wouldn’t carry one like that. Dibbs—l know you wouldn’t; that’s the reason I carry it when you’re around. _*