The Syracuse Journal, Volume 5, Number 27, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 31 October 1912 — Page 6

€m BREAKING THE NEWS GENTLY Vnrge Tells Hl» Father In Clever, but Roundabout Way, Why He Should Have a Bicycle.* “Tapa.” said Georgie, “it worries me awful to think hpw much trouble I .jive mamma." “She hasn’t complained." “No, she’s very patient. But she ratten sends me to the shops for Jiings, and they are a good ways off. iad I know she gets cross waiting vhen she’s in such a dreadful hurry. “Not often, I fancy.” “Oh, she's nearly .always in a hurry. j3he gets everything all ready for bakJig, and finds at the last minute she wasn’t any yeast, or she gets a pudling all mixed and finds she hasn't iny nutmeg or something; and then .-she's ia an awful stew, ’cause the oven * al! ready, and maybe visitors are -doming, and I can’t run d very long distance, you know; and I feel awful tarry for poor mamma.’’ “Humph 1 Well, what can you do «bout it?’’ “I was thinking you might get me a bicycle.”—Pearson’s Weekly.

Denial. **T recognize you now," said the irate 'Victim. ‘‘You are one of them men with schemes to get something for aothing.” “It is false,” answered the precarious promoter. “I would never take a nan’s money and give him nothing in return. Have I not allowed you to some and sit In the most elegantly ’urni&bed offices you ever saw?” Crafty Papa. “Sob, why don’t you play circus? it’s great fun. First you make a sawdust ring.” “Where’ll I get any sawdust, dad?" “Here’s the saw. Just saw some of cord wood into stove lengths. You can have all the sawdust you make.” Impossible to Get Thin, k fat Frenchwoman despairingly says: "I am so fat that I pray for a disappointment to make me thin, but no sooner does the disappointment »me than the joy at the prospect of. getting thin makes me fatter ttuu> ever.” —Tit-Bits. The Real Favorite. Shlmmerpate—l heard a dramatist *ay the other day that the success of the present is the play with a punch. Speckhoodle—From what I have «een of the musical show comedians there is still something of a demand ifor the play with a swat. WAIL OF A SPENDTHRIFT. “Gosh, I wisht I had all the money f*ve spent foolishly.” “I s’pose you’d be purty well fixed, *r “I should say I would. When I was a Chicago the last time I spent 40 seats for one meal.” Saving Money. Mr. Hardhead—l saved a big pile 3t money today. Mrs. Hardhead —That Is lovely! •44»w? Mr. Hardhead —Instead of suing s -wan for what he owed me. 1 let him .Stave it Politics Secondary. “Father,” said the small boy, “What da a, demagogue?” “A demagogue, my son. Is a man who can entertain an audience so thoroughly that people don’t care jrfc&t his personal opinions happen to ho."

Not Proved. -“She has a good ear for music.* 1* that so?" -"Tea. She plays all the ragtime jtaaee.” “Pshaw! I thought you said she Jsad a good ear for music." Something Like It. "Charley, dear,” said young Mrs. -Gorkins, "I think I understand what, is meant by the phrase, ‘Puts and calls’" “Oh. you do!” "Tee. You put a check in a man's %ands and somebody else calls for Looking /Backward. first Mexican /Senorita —She is of a very good family. Second Mexican Senorita —Yes, one her ancestors was president of ■finieo from 12:10 tc 12:16 a. m. oik Ida* in 1012.—Satire.

WAS CHEAPER TO BE ROBBED Porch Climber Convinces Householder of Wisdom of Making No Nolae While Being Held Up. “Please don’t shoot!" cried the burglar. “Why not?” asked the householder. “You came here to steal —to kill, ii you found it neceesary. The law let# me shoot.” “I know,” said the porch climber. “But looky-here! Per your own sake I advise yer not to puli the trigger!” “Why not?” “I’ll tell yer. When y* shoot, th’ perllce will come. They’ll bust the first face they sees, tramp all over yet carpets, drag yer wife outer bed. an wake up yer neighbors. Then they'll drag yer to a bedbuggy cell, an* keep yer dere as a witness till de trial. Den ye’ll hafter hire expensive lawyers. I's ye’re lucky, I git sent ter jail an’ youse git soaked about fifty bones. Go back ter bed, feller, an’ lemme take dis wad. Youse kin sleep, an* all I gets is $32.68 —I counted it.” “Go in peace!” exclaimed the householder. “Burglars are cheaper than courts!”—Cleveland Plain Deal er. Requirements. “Yes.” said Dustin Stax, “there are SIOO,OOO jobs waiting for young men who are competent to fill them." “What requirements would you expect?” “Well, he'd have to show that he was competent to establish and run as big a business as mine on his own account. And then, of course, he wouldn’t need the job.” IT SOUNDED HEARTLESS.

Elaine—Were you much hurt la the auto accident? Donald —Just the merest scratch. Elaine —I’m so sorry. He Was Literary. “Colonel Brown seems to be very literary,” remarked a visitor to the Brown household to the negro maid, glancing at a pile of magazines lying on the floor. / “Yas, ma’am,” replied the ebonyfaced girl, “yas, ma’am, he sholey am literary. He jes’ nat’ally littahs things all over dis yere house.” —Woman’s Home Companion. Inconsistent. “This author takes up more than a hundred pages In analyzing his heroine’s soul.” “Oh, well. You shouldn’t blame him for that” “I wouldn’t blame him, If It were not for the fact that later on he proves conclusively his heroine Is a soulless creature." Rough on Louee. “Have you heard about Mrs. Whopper’s latest acquisition?” “No. What has she bought this time to startle the natives?” “She told me yesterday that she had received from her Paris agent twelve pieces of genuine Louis Quince fun niture.” Saving Time. “I see you are carrying home a new kind of breakfast food,” remarked the first commuter. ’“Yes,” said the second commuter. “I was missing too many trains. The old brand required three seconds to prepare. You can mix up this new kind In a second and a half." Probably. “The engagement of Will Want lelgh to Lotta Rocks Is announced.” “Do you suppose he can be marrying her for her money?” “Goodness, no! He is probably marrying her for that cunning harelij of hers.” The Latest Solution. “I wonder how the Venus de Mile lost her arms,” murmured the. youns wife. “My guess Is that she wore ’em ofl writing beauty articles,” growled th« old grouch. And then silence gathered quickly The Altitude Record. “A French aeronaut has ascended t< • height of 18,766 feet.” “That’s nothing. When my wif< came Into the office the other morning md caught m« joking with the pretty stenographer she had me fifty miles up in the air."

Heard on the Sidewalk. “What’s the matter, old man?" “That confounded boxofflce clerk j, a d the cheek to offer me a back seat” “And you took affront, eh?" “No, sir; I wouldn’t take any." Best She Could Do. “I can not live without you!” he de dared. “Don’t say that,” she replied. ’ hall not marry you, but I will ast ather to give you a job."—Judge’s Li )rary. i " * Between Friends. Belle —How silly men are when the. propose! Why, my husband acted likt perfect fool. Nell—That’s what everybod) thought when your engagement was announced. —London Opinion. Odd Sort of Rest. Baker— Who’s that girl who plays golf all day and bridge all night? Barker—Oh, that’s Manning’s daugh ar. She’s up here with a nurse ta)* a* a Jest cure.—l>

LEAMS W THtMgr 0^_ rK Illustration Is (rom a photograph ot the Bulgarian geusrals at tha army maneuvers. Ferdinand, craro! I Bulgaria, la asen at the right. Indicated by a cross.

TO EXPLORE AMAZON

Scientists Charter Yacht to Visit South America. Characteristics of Country and Hablta of Tribes That Live There to Be Studied for Months by Members of Expedition. Philadelphia.—Aboard the Mermaid, a 120-foot steam yacht, the members of the University of Pennsylvania . South American expedition left here for the Amazon. The yacht will voyage byway of Porto Rico, Barbados and Trinidad to Para, at the mouth of the Amazon, and will then steam up the great river into one of i& up- , per tributaries, proceeding up the uncharted Btream until the shallows check her. She will then be moored and serve as headquarters for the exploring parties, which will use the gasoline launch and canoes with which she is equipped In order to reach those points on the river which are not navigable by the yacht herself. When the observations shall have been completed in any given locality the collections will be assembled on the yacht which will then pass on to the next tributary 'to be explored. Para or Manaos will serve as a base of supplies, according to the region of the Amazon basin to which the expedition directs Its attention for the time being. The main purpose of the expedition Is to study the Indian tribes of the Amazon valley, which have not been studied in detail, and to collect for the university museum specimens of their arts, industries, customs and modes of life. Their songs will be recorded on the phonograph, and their dances and various activities will be reproduced by the moving-picture camera. Systematic studies will be made ■>f the native languages, religious and social systems and decorative art. In brief, the expedition seeks to furnish as complete a record as modern methods can afford of the native life of the Amazon valley and to Illustrate these studies by adequate collections assembled in the university museum. The remoteness and seclusion of many of the tribes which will be studied is Indicated by the fact that such a condition as that reported on the Putamay river can exist in the face of modern civilization and without Interference from any local government While the study of native life forms the main object of the expedition, other aspects of exploration will not be neglected. A medical investigator will accompany the party for the purpose of studying beri-beri and other fatal diseases peculiar to the Amazon region, and the flora and fauna of the country will receive due attention. The man selected by the museum to have charge of the expedition is Algot Lange, whose experiences In the Jungles of the Amazon two years ago, when accompanying a party of rubber hunters, nearly cost him his life. With Lange will be associated an ethnologist, a naturalist, a physician and a moving-picture photographer. The physician chosen for the post is Dr. Franklin Church of New York.

INSTRUMENT A STORM FINDER Weather Director Seeks to Introduce Barocyclometer In the United States. Washington. — The “barocyclomel«r,” an Instrument so sensitive as to detect a hurricane 600 mile# away, thus enabling ships equipped with it to steer clear of storms, is to be installed In all of the naval stations on ike Atlantic coast and, perhaps on the

No danger is anticipated from the natives, who are peaceably Inclined and hospitable to strangers. In dealing with these tribes many simple gifts will be made In exchange for feather work, bows and arrows and blowguns, drums and musical instruments, decorated calabashes and pottery. BABY TO BE PERFECT WOMAN « i ■ - To Be Only One In World Whep She Grows Up, Declares Her Father, Athletic Director. Minneapolis, Minn. —To become the world’s most perfect woman, physically, is the future mapped out for Margaret Terry Hudson Grant two years two months old, by her father, Richard Grant, director of track athof the University of Minnesota, and ever since she was three weeks old, the baby has been training for the place she is some day to AIL Systematic exercise, under the careful supervision of her father, who himself was formerly a track star at Yale, and who has “made” many Minnesota athletics, Is as much a part of little Margaret’s daily life as the food she eats. Mr. Grant explained the other day while the baby went through her regular course. She weighs 28 pounds, without an ounce of fat on her little body. She can walk up three flights of stairs and back without-stopping. - The little girl, though beginning to talk, delights in her daily physical exercise. The more common of these includes: A wand drill to strengthen and develop her chest muscles. “She is going to be perfect physically when she krows up,” confidently asserted Mr. Grant, “and probably that's something tht can be said of no woman in the world at this time.”

TRAPPED, TRIES TO CUT FOOT Man Imprisoned on Track Before Train Attempts to Use Knife on Captured Limb. Chicago. —Caught on a railroad track like a fox in a trap, with a passenger train due in a short time. Joseph Kowanski, 51 years old, did what the animal would have done. He attempted to sever h|s foot Kowanski, a watchman In the Chicago & Eastern Illinois railroad yards at South Leavitt and West 43rd Btreets, was making his rounds at 5 o’clock in the morning when his left foot was caught in a frog. Knowing a fast train was due tn half an hour, Kowanski twisted and wrenched at the imprisoned, leg, but in vain. The terrific strain broke the leg in two places. Almost unconscious from pain, Kowanski then attempted to cut off his foot with a knife. Just as he was starting on the operation Alexander Gata. a fellow workman, happened along. He opened the switch and released Kowanski.. The train passed the “trap” three minutes after Kowanski had been rescued.

ships of the Atlantic fleet. This Instrument is the Invention of Rev. Jose Algue, director of the Philippine weather bureau. While in Washington recently. Rev. Mr. Algue conferred with Capt Jose L. Jayne, superintendent of the United States naval observatory, relative to the recharting of the Atlantic ocean for the use of the barocyclometer. Hils instrument has been in use in the Philippine and China naval stations and on the ships of the Asiatic flest many years oast

GOAT VANQUISHES POLICE Ruminant Butts Man Off Perch ans Strips of His Uniform Officer Sent to Quiet Him. Chicago.—John Boland of, 1700 Wes* Twenty-second street was a thousand miles from Chicago In his dreams sleeping on a chair on the back porch when a large Angora goat with a snowy beard and a determined ex pression, butted him off the chair and into wakefulness. Boland ran a marathon to the wood shed just in time to feel the Impao of the goat against the door. Mem bers of the family, aroused by his ap peals for aid, telephoned the pollct and Charles Tickey, a brave patrol man, responded. Tickey learned with ease to • dlstln guish between both ends of a health} goat. As he groped about In the darl yard something went amiss. He be lieves that he collided with the goat At any rate, hk sustained a terrifli shock where the high cost of llvin* is most felt. Neighbors notified the police again this time that a riot was in progress They also suspected a Mexican In vasion and a decisive battle in tht Boland back yard. Policemen wh< crowded a responsive patrol wagoi deduced the fact that the goat ha< disappeared, as they failed to sus tain the shocks that almost sen> Tickey to the hospital. Boland, who has forsworn the ehal: on the porch for sleeping purposes told the police he did not know whm kind of an animal he had to deal with He almost suspected that a white ele pbant was loose. FINDS BIG BUNCH OF 1001 Search for a Dollar Whip Disclose* Stolen Property Worth *2,000. York, Pa. —In trying to locate » dollar whip, which had been stolei from the buggy of Michael Dougbet ty of Chanceford, Detective Chariei White unearthed at the home of Adan S. Kecsey of Spry, about two milei from this city, stolen property to th* amount of *2,000, which had been car rled away from the Pullman Automo bile works. The plunder consisted o all ports of the machines. Kecsey broke down and confesses his guilt and said he had been sellint the loot for Junk. In default of bat he was sent to Jail. The accused mai has a wife and five children. OFFER PRIZES FOR CHILDREN Citizens of Douglaston, L. 1., in Queet Predicament Over School Money. New York. —Having failed to> fln< more than fifteen children in Douglas ton, Long island, one of the outlylnt villages Included within the limit o Greater New York, of the proper agi to attend a kindergarten, the citizen! of the place will offer prizes to an: one who will furnish three more chii dren to attend the school, that th< salary of the teachers may be pah by the board of education of Nev York. A state law provides that i city kindergarten must have at leas eighteen children.

Uses Champagne In Auto. Jacksonville, Fla.—Simon Davit Paddock, eighteen, “the millionaire kid” of Atlantic, N, J.. had a narrou escape from death in a collision that resulted from substituting champagne for gasoline as motive power for hit racing automobile. Off With the Oid; On With the New. New York. —Although her first hus band had been dead less than month, Mrs. Lulu Goldsmith has o) tflaeei a license to wed again.

JOT RICH IN |l THREE YEARS! ’.XFERIENCES OF A BRITISH IM- I MIGRANT IN CANADA-WEST. The following straightforward state- j lent needs no comment to add to : ts force and effect It appears in a j ecent issue of the Liverpool Mer-! ury. H. Patterson, of Nutana, Saskatche- J ran, Canada, when he arrived from ; Liverpool, had “Six of us to support” o use his own phraseology, and his unds were getting low. He secured , homestead 32 miles out from Sunturn, and started living on it April 5, 1901. The previous fall he put all tis money, $137, into a Bhack and lot, ! asking sure of a home. As cook and ; caterer in a local hotel he made $75 , month, and out of this had some avings out of which he paid his treaking and improvements on the iomestead. The shack was sold to i ;ood advantage. Then Mr. Patterson i elis the story after he had removed j tis family to the homestead: “For the first month life was so j trange and new that I hadn’t time to hink of anything, only fixing up our tew home. I was so ‘green’ to farm ife that I didn’t know the difference •etween wheat and oats (I do now)! letween working out, cropping my ilace, and with my gun, we managed o live comfortably for the three •ears, which time was required to put n my duties. I had accumulated luite a stock of horses, cows, pigs, owls, and machinery In the three •ears. “In October, 1909, I secured my pattnt to my land, so took a few days’ icdidays to Saskatoon to locate a purchased homestead (viz., 12s. per icre) from the Government. Instead j >f getting the purchased homestead, j secured a half section (320 acres) j m the Saskatchewan River for $25 j >er acre on easy terms, nine years’ payments with a cash payment of 51,000. I mortgaged my first homeitead, obtained chattel! mortgages on ny stock, and on December 24th, 1909, took possession; on June 10, 1910, I sold out again for S4O per acre, j bearing, besides my crop (140 acres), j 54,800. I also sold my first home-! dead, clearing SI,BOO and two Saskaoon town lots, which we value at 51,000 each today. We placed all our :apital In another farm (river frontige) and some trackage lots (60), also i purchased homestead (river frontige). I remained as Manager of the ?arm I had sold on a three years’ •ontract at a fine salary and house, sarden, and numerous privileges. “So by the time my three years have sxpired, with my investments and the ncreased value of my frontage and ots, I am hoping to have a clear profit on my $137 Investment of 150,000. My land doesn't eat anyJiing, and it is nearly all paid for. I hold ft good position (and secure)*— Adv.

A Husband in Jest Solicitor. (endeavoring to discover silent’s legal status)—But, madam, j low long is ijc since you heard from j ?our husband? Client—Weil, yer see, ’e left me the j lay ’e was married, and truth is, I j iln’t ’eard nothin’ of ’im since, nor j wanted; least ways, I did ’ear easual- j ike that ’e were dead, but it may be inly ’is fun.—Punch. Doctor Enaorses Children’s Remedy. Dr. D. R. Rothrock, New Berlin. Pa., writes that he has used Kopp’s Baby’s friend with excellent results. He con- i siders it the best remedy for children, ttvaluable in Teething Troubles, Wind 3olic and Diarrhoea. 3 sizes. 10c., 25c., >oc-» at druggists or sent direct Kopp’s Baby's Friend Co., York, Pa. Go to ,-our nearest druggist for free sample. Adv. The Usual Thing. “I see,” said the guinea pig, timidly, “that they say you are the cause of the Increasing cost of eggs.” “Yes,” responded the hen, wearily, “they’re following the same old rule -when anything goes yrong. always blame the woman.” Way of Words. “I must say this looks like sharp practice.” “It does —that’s flat.” Mrs. Wi□■Loir's Soothing Syrtip foe Ctnhtren teething, softens the gums, reduces inflammation, alloys pain, cures wind colic, 2Sc a bottle. Adr. A man isn’t far from right when he’s willing to admit that he is in the wrong. Red Cross Ball Blue will wash double as many clothes as any other blue. Don t out your money into any other. Adv. And every man who owns a dog thinks the animal has more sense than his neighbor. CURBS BURNS AND CUTS. Cole’s CarboHaalre stops the psln instantly. Cure*quick. No scar. All druggists. 25 andsoc. Adv. Many a bewhlskered man has been known to tell barefaced lies.

■Si RICH.IN CURATIVE QUAUTIES-NO HABIT FORMING DRUGS. I wM W.L.DOUCLAS/t SHOES iP%.I *3.00 *3.50 *4.00 *4.50 AND *5.00 EL. FOR MEN AND WOMEN Boys wsaf W. L Oo*oimm $2.00, $3. SO « $3.00 Moot WKOm& J Sbomm. A—ssss es»s osfr w»/ pmmUhmjp osrfwwa* twm WJLDouglas makes and sella more $3.00,53.50 & $4.00 shoes /T/mL *K... any other manufacturer in the world. jf WBm THE STANDARD OF QUALITY FOR OVER SO YEARS. The workmanship which has made W. L. Douglas shoe# famous the world Over is maintained in every pair. Ask your dealer to show you W. L. Douglas latest fashions for fall and winter wear, notice the short vamps which make the foot look smaller, points in a •hoe particularly desired by youn« men. Alao the conservative Sty Us which have made W. L. Douglas shoos a household word everywhere. If yon cW M visit W. L. Douglas large factories at Brockton, Mass* and tee for yourself how carefully W. L. Douglas shoes are made, you would then unwhy they are warranted to fit better, look better, hold their shape and wear longer than any other make for the price. to* Color Cgohto.

WOMEN SHOULD BE PROTECTED Against So Many Surgical Operations. HowMrs.Bethune and Mrs. Moore Escaped. Sikeston, Mo.— 4 ‘For seven years I suffered everything. I was in bed for four

H or five days at a time $ every month, and so i§ weak I could hardly I walk. I cramped and had backache and | headache, and was so nervous and weak that I dreaded to see | anyone or have anym one move in the room. U The doctors gave me M medicine to ease me

• pra Mi ii

; at those times, and said that I ought to | have an operation. I would not listen to ! that, and when a friend of my husband ' told him about Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound and what it had done for his wife, I was willing to take it Now I look the picture of health and feel like it, too. I can do my own housework, hoe my garden, and milk a cow. I can entertain company and enjoy them. 1 can visit when I choose, and walk as far » as any ordinary woman, any day in the month. I wish I could talk to every suffering woman and girL ” —Mrs. Dema Bethune, Sikeston, Mo. Murrayville, 11l. —“I have taken Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound for a very bad case of female trouble and it made me a well woman. My health was all broken down, the doctors said I must have an operation, and I was ! ready to go to the hospital, but dreaded it j so that I began taking your Compound. I I got along so well that I gave up the ! doctors and was saved from the operation.”—Mrs. Charles Moore, R. R. No. 3, Murrayville, lIL

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