The Syracuse Journal, Volume 5, Number 5, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 30 May 1912 — Page 7

'l AILMENT ■MnasunramaßMeeawaraHßaHaanam By Lawrence Alfred Clay (Copyright, 191a. by Associated Literary Press) Caleb Henderson and the widow Clymer might never have been heard of but for an old red bull that got loose on the highway one day anti entered the widow’s gate and drove her up a cherry tree and frightened her so that she had headaches for a week after. She was rescued after a while by Caleb, who was her hired man, and had been for a year. The bull was game, and he knocked over a barrel of soft soap, smashed In the smokehouse door and uprooted seven currant bushes, but he had to go. Up t® this hour there had been no feeling of love between the hired man and widow. He was twenty-five years old and she was ten years older. She owned a nice farm, and he wasn't worth a hundred dollars, but he had done no scheming. It was after the defeated and crestfallen bull had departed and the widow had dropped from her perch to the ground with a thud that love came to both hearts at one and the same moment. Cupid gave a double dose without extra charge. There was „an engagement, and there was talk of having the marriage come off along about Christmas, this being early summer. For two months Caleb Henderson was a happy man, and was proud over the congratulations he received. It was generally said that the widow was a little too old for him, but it was always added that” it was a nice farm and well stocked. In the midst of his great happiness trouble descended. Caleb was mending a fence one day when two young ladies from the summer hotel a mile away came wandering over the field after daisies. They made for the hired man, and, although he was rather bashful, he stood his ground. He had never beer! close to angels before. He was as red as a beet and mopping his brow within three minutes. The girls saw how it was with him, and they set out to jolly and jo§h. __ They were from the city, but they despised city men. When they married it would be some honest, hardworking farmer. They did not de- . mand style nor too much education. | In place of it they would have honest, I r I ~ ' "T .. a I W Cl fir OH® O “I’m Going Plumb Crazy.” enduring love. Caleb had large hands and feet. So had George Washington. Caleb had freckles and his ears stood out. Wasn’t that the way with Thomas Jefferson? Caleb shouldn’t throw his Jove and his life away on a country woman. There were hundreds of rich women who would just scramble to get him if it were known that he was in the market. Caleb Hendersont was flattered till his brain whirled. The handsomer of the two girls made an appointment' to meet him at the same blackberry patch at the same hour next day, and when he went to the house to supper he looked so queer and acted so ab-sent-minded that the Widow Clymer remarked: “Caleb, you may be going to come down with a fever. I guess I’d better make you some smartweed tea.” “Oh, I’m all right,” was the reply. “None o’ your family ever had fits, did they?” “Os course not." “See any blacksnakes today and get a shock?” “Noap.” Caleb braced up and tried to shake off suspicions, but when the widow slipped out to the barnyard after supper and found him trying to milk a cow on the wrong side she said to * herself: “I can’t tell what it is, but something’s going to happen.. That young rrnan is either going to be sick, or else something lias happened today

Remarkable Accident. A bull fight in Avignon promises to yo down to posterity as the most remarkable in the romantic little town’s history, not because a young toreador was probably mortall/ gored while making a reckless display of daring, but because of a strange accident. During one of the liveliest fights an infuriated young bull leaped the barrier and raced furiously along the front of the, first row of seats. , Spectators in their fright toppled backward like tenpins, but the long hairs at the end of the animal s lashing tail wound themselves around the iLthumb of an unfortunate man, locked tight and snapped the thumb entirely off at the jpint. The incident is the talk of the town and the victim is the center of a curious croiyd whenever ' he appears on the streets.—Paris Correspondent Chicage News. Poor Jig«w4rth. “When Jigsworth speaks sternly to fiis little boy he to be obeyed.” “Well?” 1 “You krjw the that happens.”

i to put a new kink in his brain. I’ll keep an eye on him for a little while.” There were but few guests at the surUmer hotel, and the young lady who was to meet Caleb the next day, and did meet him, was bored and ■ wanted diversion. She jollied him, and by the time they had met four times she had smashed his epgage- i ment to the widow and learned the history of his life. It wasn’t understood in so many words, but was strongly inferred by Caleb, that in case he could get out of his tangle with widow he could become the son-in-law of a rich man in the city. That meant the husband of the angel sitting beside him and eating halfripe blackberries as fast as he could pick them. The widow had said she would keep an eye on Caieb, and she didn’t forget. She was cognizant of that flirtation in no time, and from Caleb’s looks ( and bearing she knew that he had been hard hit and was wondering how to break with her. She gave him rope to see what he would do. The plan he followed was proposed by the girl flirt, who laughed for an hour after she left him. The plan to checkmate him was born In the widow’s own brain, and was surrounded by grim smiles. One evening, after Caleb had kept up his new and strange attitude for a week or more, and after he had hitched around in a nervous way for many minutes, he said: “Cynthia, I was wrong about none of my family ever having fits.” “Yes?" “We’ve all had ’em, the worst way." “I see.” “And that ain’t the worst of it. Father and mother were crazy as loons.” “You don’t say?” “And of course I’ll be crazy sooner or later.” “Very likely!” “I think that’s what ails me now — I’m going plumb crazy.” “I guess you are.” “And you don’t want to marry a crazy man, of course?” “Not under any circumstances. No, I couldn’t do that, much as 1 might love him.” Caleb did some grinning and chuckling. Hte had looked for a row, and the widow was taking the matter as placidly as if it was of no account. “Then —then ‘ our engagement is off?” he asked, after a long silence. “Not quite, Caleb 1 want to watch you for two or three days and see if you get worse. I am sorry for you, i but it ftiay turn out all right.” | I “But I feel right now as if I wanted | to murder some one!” “Weft, I must take chances of that." ' That night as Caleb slept and ' dreamfed of his city angel two young t farmers entered his room and tied him fast.' He awoke as they were removing him to the smoke house, and in reply to his demands and exclamations the widow soothingly said: “You see, you’re gone trazy, dear man, and we must restrain you a bit." | . “But I'm not insane!” “Oh, yes, you are. They always I say that. There’s a nice bed of straw, j and water to drink, and bread to eat, and we hope you will get better in a week or two.” Caleb raised a big rumpus over it, but it did him no good. He was to meet his angel at the blackberry patch next afternoon, but he wasn’t there. She was, however, and so was the widow. It was the angel who flew and the widow who pursued. Before night fell the hired v man had decided that his parents had never been insane. When morning came agaip/'ite had decided that there was no lunacy about him, and that he might live to be a hundred years old and never have a fit. For four days he plead and appealed, and then he was brought out to find a preacher and winesses there. To his looks of inquiry the widow explained: “I couldn’t marry a lunatic, but am ready to wed one "who has made a fool of himself once or twice.” “Where’s that —that girl from the city?” he asked. “Still running.” “Well, for fear she’ll come back, 1 guess we’d better splice!" And the last heard from him he was bragging that he had married the best woman In the world. Had Parallel in History. The musicians of the Titanic, who played a requiem for the sinking ship and went down to their deaths with j her, are entitled to be placed among : the'heroes of the disaster. No more j striking, more graphic incident is re- j ported than that of the people on the i lifeboats hearing the fainting melody of the band coming over the water to them. These musicians died at their posts, for doubtless in the beginning they were told to play simply to keep up the courage of the nassengers, and they played to the terrible end. Readers of Carlyle will remember another instance of the music and the musicians dying together, in his narration of the Girondists singing the Marseil- , laise at the foot of the scaffold, the , singers diminished one by one as the guillotine did its work until there was one voice only, and then no voice.

Reason for Haste. There’s an old story about an Irishman who was painting a fence and who worked fast so that he might get the job finished before the paint gave out. Our grandfathers laughed at that joke before our grandfathers bought razors. The new version came in the other day; the setting is up to date, but the old point still sticks. Our correspondent says: “I have a touring car, and I have a chauffeur. The latter is a bright Italian boy and an invaluable servant. The other night, ten miles from home, but made the city limits, I observed that he was putting on a burst of speed. “‘Slow down a bit, Giuseppe,’ I. warned him, ‘we’ll be arested if we keep on at this speed.’ “ ‘Scuse me, mister boss,’ he answered; ‘we’re ten mila from home an’ only got enough gas for t’re mlla. Eef we no hurry we never mak’ eet!” Mark of Resemblance. “What makes those two affinities?" “Don’t know, unless it is that she is dove-eyed and he is pigeon-toed.”

pt?j MAN WAS WORTH LOOKING AT Stranger Called to Get a Look at Honest Individual Who Advertised Money Found. . “You advertised that you had found a pocketbook, I believe?” he asked the man who had come to the door in answer to his ring. “I did.” “You say it contained a sum of money?” “Yes.” “A very large sum of money, in fact?” “Yes.” “And that the owner could have same by naming the sum found and lescribing the pocketbook?" “Yes. Go on.” “That is all I wished to ask.” “But you will have to give a description of the purse you lost before you can put in a claim.” “I lost no purse.” “You didn’t?” “No, sir.” ; “Then why have you called?” “Merely to see what a man'looks like who will find a very large sum of money and theft advertise the fact in the papers Instead of hiding it and saying nothing about it Good-day, sir.” —Tit-Bitsi ’Tis False. Miss Goodley—Miss Passay says she admires auburn hair most. Miss Knox —She doesn’t admire it jat all. That’s just a bluff she uses to throw people off the track. Miss Goodley—How do you mean? I She has black hair— Miss Knox—Yes; and she wants to i> give the impression ‘that she couldn’t have bought auburn just as easily.— Catholic Standard and Times. Judging From Results. “Have you ever placed yourself in the hands of a beauty doctor, Mrs. Muggworth?” “Why do you ask me that?” “My husband wants me to go to I one.” “Yes. I have been taking regular I treatments from one for the past 1 year.” “Then I think I’ll not go. It seems to be useless.” Silent for Once. “Did your wife jump on you when i you got home last night?” “No; for once I was in luck. The people in the flat next door were hav- ! Inga spat and my wife was bus} listening.” HER SYMPATHY. “A fellow threatened to punch me I (ft the head.” “That would be too bad.” “Thank you.” “It would have a tendency to insrease the swelling.” Breaking a Man’s Nerve. “How will we proceed to give this offender the third degree?” asked the j letectlve. S “I don’t know,” replied the other. "Suppose we start in by reading him i bunch of those stories you have been writing?” Not Inconvenienced. “Did the dissolution of your gigantiv corporation cause you inconvenience?” “Not the slightest,” replied Mt. Dustin Stax. “I needed an enlarged ind improved system of branch offices, anyhow.” As He Understands Him. “What name?” inquired the new I outler, as another guest arrived. “S. N. Shelly—a relative, you know.” said the man in an undertone. “Essentially a relative!” shouted . the butler. Innocuous. “There is a man in our neighborhood who, I have positive proof, has narried at least three diffierent womm in the past month.” “What a wretch!” “Not at all. He is our minister.” Hoping. “I saw your husband digging in the lack yard this morning. Are you going to have a garden this year?” “No, but I am hoping we may have r dinner.” ♦ /

SAYING OF HIS BRIGHT BOY Disinterested Person Couldn’t See Anything Witty in Story Related by Fond Parent. “I want to tell, you a bright thing that my little boy said this morning.” “All right, go ahead.” “His grandmother caught her heel on one of the stairs when she was coming down to breakfast, and had a narrow escape from falling. When she told us about it, Willie spoke up, saying: ‘lt’s a lucky thing that grandma Is well-heeled.’ Pretty good, eh? My wife’s mother has a considerable fortune, you know.” "But where is the connection?" “Why, well-heeled, you know. Pretty bright for a ten-year-old, wasn’t itr “I don’t get the significance of it." “My dear fellow, you certainly understand that people who have plenty of money are often said to be wellheeled, don’t you?” “Yes, I’ve frequently heard that expression used in connection with them, but what had that to do with youi wife’s mother’s escape from a tumbler “Can’t you see the point? She would have fallen downstairs if she had not been well-heeled —that is if her heel had not been a good one. You see the connection now, don’t you?" » “No. As I understand it, she had a poor heel. If it had been a good one she wouldn’t have caught it on the step, would she? How old did you say your boy was?” “Oh, never mind. Confound it, what’s the use of wasting time on people who have no sense of humor!” “But wait a minute. Let us reason this thing out. If your boy’s grandmother has a bad heel and is worth —” “Go to the deuce! I’m in a hurry.” ' HIS EXCUSE. iil lot / ?ID | ( n I Jimmy—Self-preservation is the first law of nature. Johnny—ls that why you are trying to preserve yourself in alcohol? A Good, Kind Poet. “He is one of the best poets in, this country.” “I have never seen any of his poems in print.” “It isn’t likely that you ever. will. He is always trying to make other people happy, so he carefully hides his poems as soon as they are written.” Her Thought. “Do you remember the first time I ever put my arm around you?” he asked, after they had started on their honeymoon. “I shall never forget it,” she replied. “What did you think?” “I thought you had fooled away a lot of time over the preliminaries.” Little Token of Esteem. Moriarity—Th’ boys want to buy a lovin’ cup for Assemblyman Flannigan. Jeweler —Here is something very choice for $lO. Moriarity—l don’t think Flannlgan would go as high as that —but we’ll ask him! —Puck. His Failure. “Ah’” ejaculated the wide-eyed tourist who was pervading Rampage, Arlz., on the qui vlve for thrills. “I suppose that swaggering fellow over there has a record as a bad man?” “Him?” contemptuously snorted Alkali Ike. “Aw, heck! —he ain’t even killed an innocent bystander!”— Puck. The Voice of Experience. “Every girl has the right to be happy,” she declared. “Yes,” her experienced friend replied, “but so many girls get left in their eagerness to exercise that right.” Had Aged. The Diner —Look here, waiter, there’s a gray hair in this port. The Waiter— Very likely, sir; you see, that wine is over two hundred years old. —London Sketch. Real Proof. She—A noted lecturer says women are more level-headed than men. He —I believe him. She —Why? He —otherwise they would not beable to balance those mammoth hats they wear. Topliner. Agent—l want your name, please, for the new directory. Tragedian —I shall be pleased to give it to you on condition that it heads the bill in large type.—Harper’s Weekly. Its. Use. “What use is the bridge of the nose?” “I suppose it is for objects when they pass from eye to eye.” A Legal Mind. No use whispering soft nothings to that girl—she’s if law student." “She’s very happy. How does being a law student affect her case?” “Well, she’s quick to detect the incompetent, the irrelevant, and the Immaterial.”

“ONE MILLION LEAGUE FOR MANITOBA.” The purposes of the “Million fl'or Manitoba League” are set out in the fact that Manitoba wants more people. Today the population is less than i five hundred thousand, and the de-1 termination of the representative men of the Province to devote their best energies to increasing this to a million is a worthy one. There is already a widespread interest in every municipality; committees are appoin ed, whose duties are to secure such a thorough knowledge of local conditions that, whether the applicant for information be a laborer for the farm, a would-be tenant, a probable homesteader, the buyer of a small improved farm or the purchaser of a large t’act for colonizing farmers, the information is at hand, free. The advantages that Manitoba possesses are many, and with the exploitation that will be given them by the birth of this new acquisition to the settlement and immigration jropaganda that is being carried or by the Dominion Government, there is no doubt that the establishment of the bureau will very soon bring about the results looked for. Manitoba is practically the gateway of the great grain belt of the West. Its farm lands have demonstrated time and again that they have a yielding value that practically makes them worth over one hundred dollars per acre. Added to the yielding value of the land, there is an increased value on account of its nearness to markets, and the matter of freight rates Is carefully considered by the cautious buyer. But the Information more valuable to the incoming settler is that it still has an Immense amount of vacant fertile land open for homesteads. This dispels the Idea that free homesteads in Manitoba are<about exhausted. In addition to this, the territory recently added to the Province will open up a homesteading area which when filled should fully satisfy the "Million for Manitoba League.” Within the old boundaries there is an area of 47,360,000 acres, less than six million acres of the 16% million acres occupied being under cultivation. At present there are over 20 million acres of available land capable of being put under the plough. If in every one of the 195,000 vacant quarter sections of the Province an average family of four persons were placed, there would be added a rural population of nearly 800,0)0. So there is room for additional hundreds of thousands on the farms of Manitoba, without any possibility of congestion. The population per mile in lowa is 39.4, in Minnesota it is 23.5. That in Manitoba is only 7.1. A glance at the map, copies of: which will be forwarded upon application to any Canadian Government Agent, shows that Manitoba is wonderfully well supplied with railways. There are but few farms that are more than ten or twelve miles from a railway line; elevators are convenient, and markets are always good. The growing of grain, while a big feature in the inducements held out, is .veil reenforced by the great possibilities that exist in all portions of the Province, for the raising of stock, for d airyjng, for hogs, and for a successful class of mixed farming, and what gives additional interest is the fact that there is so much land in the Province open for free homesteading that improved farms in almost all of the 98 municipalities can be purchased at very low figures. Many of the owners of these have made sufficient upon which to retire and are becoming residen :.s of the cities. In addition to the export market for the produce of the farm, Manitoba has a number of large cities and towns providing a splendid kcal market. Truck and garden farming are highly profitable branches. Winnipeg is a city bordering on 200,000. Brandon is a splendid centre, Portage la Prairie is the hub of an excellent district, and Yorkton, Minnedcsa, Dauphin, Morden, Manitou and a dozen* other towns are important help as consumers. The Dominion and Provincial immigration officials are working in strong sympathy with the “Million for Manitoba League,” and in addition to the general literature sent out by the Government, the League has prepared pamphlets giving useful and concise information, which on addressing the Secretary, Million League, Winnipeg, Manitoba, -will be forwarded free. Jewels in the Flower Bsd. The recovery of a quantity of stolen jewelry from a flower bed was described at Kingston-on-Thames police court the other day, when t general servant was charged with theft from her mistress, a resident of Ivydene, Southborough road, Surbiton London. The lady had missed a pearl pin and a pearl and diamond ring. Thinking she might have lost the jewels in the street, she issued printed n otices offering a reward for their recovery. When she lost a number of other things she placed the matter in the hands of the police. The detective said that from what the prisoner told him. he searched the garden, and in one of the flower beds found some of the jewelry. The rest he found in the, prisoenFs bedroom. ft is just as well to remember that a woman’s shoe laces are almost as easily broken as her heart strings. To be sweet and clean, every woman should use Paxtine in sponge bathing. It eradicates perspiration and all other body odors. At druggists, 25c a box or sent postpaid on receipt of price by The Paxton Toilet Co., Boston, Mass. Equivocal. “What’s in that report about private still in the mountains :iear . your place?” “Oh, that’s all moonshin s.” HOMESEEKERS’ RATES VIA NICKEL PLATE ROAD, WEST, NORTHWEST AND SOUTHWEST, Ist and 3rd Tuesdays each month to December, 1912, Inclusive. Some people lead such placid lives that nothing ever seems tc happen to them, not even the unexpected. Bed Cross Ball Blue gives double value for your money, goes twice an far as any othex Ask your grocer. , A true friend is a person who listens to your troubles.

BACKACHE AND ACHING JOINTS. Together Tell of Weak or Disordered Kidneys. Much pain that masks as rheumatism is dua to weak kidneys—to their failure to drive off uric acid thoroughly. When you suffer achy, bad joints,

backache, too, with some kidney disorders, get Doan’s Kidney Pills, which have curei thousands. ' Anthony Rnf, 504 ■W. Elm St., Chipi pewa Falls, Wls., i says: “My limbs i were stiff and sore I and almost paralyzied with rheumai tism. My condition ‘ became so serious

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I was taken to the hospital but was not helped. Through the use of Doan’s Kidney Pills, I gradually improved, however, until entirely cured.” "When Your Back Is Lame, Remember the Name—DOAN’S.” 50c all stores. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. BUT WOULD SHE HEAR IT? Ella —Our new minister has a per- ‘ fectly lovely voice. Stella —Yes. It would be worth while to die just to hear him read the burial service. Stop the Pain. The hurt of a burn or a cut stops when Cole’s Carbolisalve Is applied. It heals quickly and prevents scars. 25c and 50c by druggists. For free . sample write to J. W. Cole & Co.; Biack River Falls, Wls. The Real Cause. The temperance orator was waxing eloquent. “What,” he demanded, "what causes more misery than liquor?" “Thirst,” responded a husky voice from the rear of the hall. SUMMER TOURS. VIA NICKEL PLATE ROAD—To Canadian, New England and Atlantic Coast Points. Tickets on sale June Ist to Sept. 30th. Liberal turn Limit and Stopover privileges. Ask Agent or write F. P. Parnin, T. P. A., FL Wayne, Ind. Paradoxical Politics. “There is rone odd thing about the English candidates for parliament.” “What is that?" “They stand for a seat.” — Be thrifty on. little things like bluing, i Don’t accept water for bluing. Ask for Red | Cross Ball Blue, the extra good value blue. Tact sometimes consists of knowing I enough not to know too much. ! Garfield Tea helps clear a muddy complexlon, dispel foul breath and sweeten the temper. Even a love match may have its ; flare-ups. Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup for Children teething, softens the gums, reduces inflammation, allays pain, cures wind colic, 25c a bottle. Man’s favorite brand of love is usually the latest. For liver or kidney troubles, nothing is quite so reliable as Garfield Tea. Even when a bill collector finds a man in he is apt to find him out.

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44 Bu. to the Acre i is a. heavy yield, but that’s what John Kennedy of I Edmonton,Alberta, Western Canada, got from 40 acres of Bpring Wheat, in 19U). Reports from drherdistrictsinthatprovInce showed other excellentresulls—such as 4,IW bush vis or wheat awTKBWrSiiI from r.’d a.-res, or S 3 1-3 I bu.peraere. 25,30and40 'JV , I busbelyieldswerenum- ■ ■tK • I emus. As biudi as 133 ■ A j bushels of oats to the p wVAfcfa J acre werethresbed from fPgoy - A Alberta fields in 1910. The Silver Cup at .the recent Spokane SMH Fair was awarded to the Alberts; Governmentfor I/’ \ Itsexhlbitofgrains.grassesand I { r > i vegetables. Reports of excellent L yields for 1910 come also from Saskatchewan and Manitoba In Western Canada. ■■MS’ Free homesteads of 960 Vs ]MM acres, and adjoining prenflf» A dMISME eniptions of 960 acres (at ifflliSl 83 per acre) are to be had '®lv kn the choicest districts. jSz/iRiP* Schools convenient, cll’l'!’ mate excellent. Wil the r Rll\ I’h very best, railways close at I hl i hand, building lumber /7/T t 1' cheap, fuel easy to get and BtW 1 reasonable in price, water jglfq A easily procured, mixed A w farming a success. Write as to best place for setvg’Wkv tlement, settlers* low railway rates, descriptive Illustrated Ik* "Last Best West” (sent free on applicationland other infornia--asl. tlon. to Sup’t of Immigration. Ottawa. Can..orto the Canadian Government Agent. (36) GEO. W. AIRD. 2nd Floor Traction Terminal Bide.. Indianapolis, Ind. I Please write to the ageqt nearest you A FINE HOME IN THE SOUTH There is 20,000 acres of fine Government Land just opened in Florida. You can get a homestead of 160 acres for- $165. Good for vegetables of all kinds and oranges. i ■ Address for particulars 1 ■ .-.s JAMES A. PEARCE. Cocoa. Fla. THE NEW FRENCH REMEDY. N0.1.N0.2.N0.3. THERAPIONSSKSSS GREAT SUCCESS, CURES KIDXEY. BLADDER DISKASKS. PILES, CHRONIC ULCERS, SKIN ERUPTIONS—EITHER SEX Send addrew envelope for FREE booklft to DR. LE CLEIUJ MED. CO., HAVERSTOCK RD., HAMPSTEAD, LOXDOS,KN(A Fort Wayne Directory CANVAS COVERS OF ALL KINDS WOOL CARDED FOR COMFORTERS THE PAUL E. WOLF BEDDING COMPANY 619-621 Clinton street Fort Wayne. Indiana On your next visit —whether business or pleasure—“X Wayne Hotel MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. W. N. U., FT. WAYNE, NO. 21-1912.