The Syracuse Journal, Volume 5, Number 3, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 16 May 1912 — Page 6

<<l<» <> “ wx PA’S ADVICE 01/ LITERATURE Objected to Small Boy’s Trashy Story While He Read of Training Trip of Ball Players. “Oh. pa, this is a great story. Gee, it keeps cold shivers goin* up and down my back all the time.” “Say. you go to bed and piit that story away.” “Let me stay up till I just finish this chapter.” “Well, you see that you go to bed ■when you get that chapter finished.” “All right.” ,< “And stop wiggling around in your chair.” “1 can’t help it. It’s so excitin’.” , “Say. what is that you’re reading, anyhow?” ‘“Billy, the Boy Detective, or the Clew in the Calcimine.’ ” “Confound you, I gave you orders never to read any more of that kind of trash. If you want to read, read something that’s worth while. Now go to bed and don’t bother me any more. I want to read about what our team is doing down at the spring training camp.” Merely an Idle Threat. “Then,” he cried, tragically, “then you reject me? And for my hated rival?” “Yep,” she answered, coldly, hut colloquially. “Yep to both questions.” “Ha! Then I owe the fellow a grudge. I have long owed him $lO. And now I will pay both debts at once and he will fall dead!” Lighting his cigarette at the hall gas jet, he departed with a mocking laugh. But the beautiful girl was not algrmed. She knew he could never carry, out his devilish scheme. For she knew tfiat he never had $lO at onec in his whole life. Limited Ambition. Upon the occasion of his first visit to parishioner a certain Boston divine tried hard to make friends with his host’s eight yeafr old. “How old are you, my son?” asked the clergyman, benignantly. “Eight,” whs the lawmic response. “Ah, quite a little man,” came patronizingly from the minister. “And what are you going to be?” he added, after a slight pause. “I am going to be nine,” said the child, with conviction. —Harper’s Magazine. HIS FATHER WAS A GROCER. ’ul)QiMbqp '—* , Teacher —One of the principal parts of sugar is essential in the composition <wt the human body. What is it? Scholar —Sand. Ready for Business “Are the pink curtains up in the Moths?” “Yes, sir.” “Blue ribbons on the stencils?" “Yes, sir.” “Perfume on the ballots?” “Yes, sir.” “Tea fixings ready to serve?” “Yes, sir.” “Then the polls are now open.”— Satire. A New Training. “There is one thing aviators are going to do besides flying.” “What’s that?” "Give a stimulus to the higher education.” • ■ To Be Sure. “The English language is rather confusing sometimes.” “Quite so.” "For instance, when you hear that a woman has her Easter hat spotted, you are not to infer that it is spoiled, but merely located.” Mueic Was Too Lively. "A serious accident happened in one of our cases the other day.” “Tell me about it.” "A guest who was trying to eat in ragtime stabbed himself in the face with his fork.” Proud of Himself. “Do you know Dibbs?” “Quite well.” / “He succeeded in finding his wife In a department store the other day and now he thinks he’s a regular little Amundsen.” Stale Stuff. “Only ID cents ter dat hard luck story, boss?” "Well, I’ve heard it before. You cant expect me to get the fee* of a »übUo entertainer.”. t

HARD TO CONVINCE IRISHMAN Handsome Paintings of Apostles Led Man to Balieve He Was In the Right Church. An Irishman walked up Fifth avenue, dropped into a Presbyterian church and immediately went to sleep. After the services were over the sexton came and shook him by the arm. “We are about to close up,” said the functionary, “and I’ll have to ask you to go now.” “What talk have you?” said the Irishman. “The cathedral never closes.” “This is not the cathedral,” said the sexton. “The cathedral is several blocks above here. This is a Presbyterian church.” The Irishman sat up with a jerk and looked about him. On the walls between the windows were handsome paintings of the apostles. “Ain’t that St Luke over yonder?” he demanded. “It is,” said the sexton. “And St. Mark just beyant him?” “Yes.” “And, still further along, St. Timothy?” “Yes.” “Young man,” demanded the Irish man, “since whin did all them blissed saints turn Protestants ?”- —Saturday Evening Post. LATE REWARD. Tommy (aged 7) —Say, pop, what makes a politician great? Mr. Wise—Death. Respect for Age. Pedantic Old Gentleman (to restaurant waiter) —I believe it is improper to f speak disrespectfully of one’s elders? Restaurant Waiter —So I’ve heard, sir. Pedantic Old Gentleman —Then 1 shall be silent concerning this fowl you have just brought me.—London Tit-Bits. His Friendship. He —I know how this catastrophe has crippled you, and as one of your oldest friends I should like to help you. I will buy your furniture for 300 francs. She —You’re very kind, but I have just sold it for 325 francs. He —What? You allowed yourself to be robbed like that? —Pele-Mele. Never Permitted to 'Forget. "Captain, how often have you .crossed the ocean?” “Seven hundred and eighty-one times.” “Mercy! I should think you would forget to keep count.” “No, no. Some silly person makes it necessary for me to recall the number on every voyage.” Down and Out. “What is the matter with your bus* band? He seems all out of sorts?” “Yes, he had a chance until yesterday, morning to be nominated for the legislature.” “What hapened?” “One of the papers printed a picture of him that was taken when he wore a long mustache with waxed ends.” He Knew. “You’d better fumigate these bills before you go home. They may be covered with microbes,” said a Waltham druggist one Saturday evening as he landed a few faded, worn and soiled silver certificates to his clerk. “No danger from that source,” responded the latter, “a microbe couldn’t live oh a drug clerk’s salary.” In Bad Company. "I was very much amused to see Dr. Goodly having a serious discussion yesterday with a lady member of his flock.” “What was so funny about that?” “They were standing in front of a billboard on which there was a flan Ing lithograph of 24 chorus girls kicking at the sky.” One Exception. “I believe Mrs. Graftt has sent over to ask the loan of everything in sight, hasn’t she?" “Yes, she has done about everything but A Revelation of Talents. “That boy of mine has a great future.” “I understand he can ask more questions in a day than the whole family can answer in a week.” “Yes. He’s going to make a fine hand on an investigating committee, one of these days.” Dangerous for Restless People. Bill —I see a man in lowa has patented a bedstead that holds a mattress on rollers and pivots. Jill—ls a restless man should attempt to use one of these be should either tie himself to something in the room or nail down all the windows. Force of Habit. Said the Wall street - man to his suburban friend, “I take great stock that breed of doses you have their , Said his friend, “I suppose th. because they are water dogs.” A Careful Young Man. “You want to marry my daughter?" "I’m not certain, but I’d like aa option on her hand, sir.”—Judge.

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HOUGH the empress of Germany, the czarina of Russia and the young queen of Holland all have the reputation of being ideal mothers, it is the beautiful queen of Italy who is the most

devoted royal mamma in Europe. Yet it is a fact that most modern queens are particularly careful mothers. They have to be. Queen Elena is tall, has an imposing carriage, a girlish figure, a splendid wealth of dark hair, wonderfully expressive eyes, finely cut features and a mouth showing character and determination. She often declares that her happiest hours are spent with her children. As soon as her first simple meal of rolls and coffee is finished in the morning, she goes to their nurseries. When they were much younger it was her great delight to give them their tub, but now she merely presides over their breakfast, and plays and romps with them until they are ready to go out The children’s rooms are furnished with the utmost simplicity, designed to give a maximum of light and air and a minimum of dust-con-taining draperies and carpets. Plain brass bedsteads and polished wooden furniture Ohly are allowed. In the playroom, quite inexpensive toys m?y be seen—dolls, soldiers, engines add the ordinary playthings dear to every child. Queen Elena has earned the title of the “babies’ queen” in Italy throughher love of all children. Since her marriage she has established many children’s hospitals and creches. Hardly a day passes, when she is in Rome, that. she does not visit one of these institutions. She has also caused a revival of the lace-making industry by establishing schools where Italian girls are being taught. Many of the fine old patterns which were in danger of being lost have been resuscitated through her interest. Her devotion to sufferers during the Messina earthquake and the eruption of Vesuvius is of too wide knowledge to need more than mention here. This beautiful queen is the daughter of the simple, homely, old-fash-ioned king of Montenegro. For the first ten years of her life she ran wild like any other little peasant girl of the country. She could ride any pony bareback, but her favorite recreation was mountain climbing. Montenegro Is full of mountains, so the little princess had plenty of scope for her hobby. No climb was too difficult for her, as she did not know what fear meant. When still quite young a gypsy told her that one day she would be a queen. Her father, who was inordinately fond of his handsome daughters, made up his mind that she was destined for the throne of Russia, so she was sent to the Smolna institute in Saint Petersburg, where she studied French, English, music and the usual accomplishments of a finishing young lady. The present czar of Russia was introduced to her in due course, but Cupid soon found there was nothing doing between the pair and things went no further. A little more knowledge on the gypsy’s part would have made things smoother for the beautiful Elena. Shortly afterward the young prince of Naples, as King Victor then was, on his travels around the courts of Europe on the lookout for a wife, came, saw and was conquered at once by Elena’s dark loveliness. For the first few months their courtship was carried on in a foreign language as she did not know one word of Ital-

HUMOROUS HAPPYLAND

Strange Taste. Miss Eleanor Sears of Boston startled staid San Mateo by going on a shopping tour on a bicycle clad in checkered trouserets. — Washington Post. But why should a San Mateo bicycle wear checkered trouserets? —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Why should Miss Eleanor Sears wear checkered trouserets? To Be Expected. “Why doesn’t that woman make those children of hers who act like Comanche Indians behave themselves?” “Because she hasn’t got time.” “Hasn’t got time?” “No; it takes all her time to write articles in the paper telling other women how to raise children.” IWho Wants Our Share? 'Mong other things. We do not sigh For buttermilk And rhubarb pie.

ian. Prince Victor’s parents were not altogether pleased at their son’s choice, nor his subjects either. They rather hoped he would have chosen some powerful German or Austrian princess for his wife, but when she arrived in Italy the princess’s lovely face, gracious smile and charming ways conquered everybody. In a little while she had won the love and admiration of the king and the queen, while her future subjects adored her. After the tragic death of King Humbert, King Victor and Queen Elena moved into the big palace, and continued, as far as possible, the simple life they had followed as crown prince and pYincess. Neither of them had any liking for pomp and circumstance. Indeed, if the Italians have any fault to find with their king, it is that he is inclined to be stingy. Things are very different now at the Capo di Monte from what they were in the time of King Humbert and Queen Margharite, and the latter’s home now is far more gorgeous than the royal palace. Though there is no lack of beautiful furniture, the present king and queen chose the simplest suites for their room. The queen’s boudoir is adorned by a few simple pictures and ornaments from her own country, which she prizes more than all the valuables in the palace put together. It is the same with their social life. A certain amount of entertaining, of course, has to be done. In the winter, which is the Roman season, about a dozen state dinners and balls are given with due ceremony, and all the usual accompaniments of flowers in profusion, costly plate and music. The queen outshines everybody witlvher radiant beauty, seen at its best in full evening dress and sparkling jewels. But beside these balls, the queen holds only a few receptions for her intimate friends. Anything in the way of gorgeous entertaining is distasteful to both her and her husband. Nothing pleases her better than to ride into the country with the elder children, or if the weather is not suitable for this, to take them all in her motorcar. No other royal mother spends so much time with her children during the day, and she studies, them before anything else. For their sake, a plain, but substantial meal is provided in the middle of the day, so that they may share it with their parents. The choice of the menu is the subject of much care with her chef every morning after breakfast. In addition to the practical virtues, Queen Elena is an accomplished woman in many ways. It is an open secret that some poems that used to appear in several French and Russian reviews over the signature of Blue Butterfly were hers. She is very fond of painting. Every Montenegrin woman learns to shoot, and King Nicholas’s daughters were taught to handle a rifle as well as a bow and arrow almost as soon as they could hold them. When, as Princess Elena, she first came to Naples, she had targets put up in the palace garden, where she and her husband had many an exciting shooting match. In former days, too, she was an ardent but 'she gave that up when she became a mother. She was the first queen to ride a bicycle. Princess Yolanda, the eldest daughter, is the beauty of the family. She is exactly like her mother now and gives promise of growing up into an equally beautiful woman. She has the same thick, dark hair, a lovely complexion and expressive eyes, and the same gracious charm. Like her mother, too, she is a thorough tomboy. To be dressed up is grief to her,

A Woman’s Humor. “Madam,” began the man, respectfully, “I am very hungry. Could you give me a bit of something?” “I will call the dog,” the woman replied. o “I am hungry enough to eat the dog,” the man said, “but I’d rather have something else.” And womanlike, she went inside and banged the door. By a Remorseful Contributor. Opportunity may hammer ' Quite too early at one’s door. Nothing doing, Katzenjammer Out too late the night before. A Jolt to Romance. "IJow about that young doctor? Has he proposed?” “Not yet Papa nearly ruined everything last night.” “How was that?" . “Just as the doctor was pleading for a peep at my eyes papa came in and asked him to take a look at my tonsil*."

but to have on a plain overall and tb be able to rush about the garden with some of her animals is joy. Once on their return from the country to Rome the royal family drove in semistate up to the palace, and Princess Yolanda, in her best clothes, bowed graciously to the cheering people all the way, frequently admonishing her younger sisters to do the same. When she reached the palace she rushed up to the nurseries in great haste to get a more serviceable frock, and noticed that papering and whitewashing had been going on and everything was very clean and white everywhere. In dismay at these fearfully clean surroundings, which she knew meant more ea re about dirty fingers and dusty boots, she ran out into the garden to find her chief’ pet, TotO, the donkey, and said, with relief in every syllable: “Well, it’s a blessing they haven’t whitewashed you, too, and promptly rolled in the dust to rid herself of the “mind-your-p’s-and-q’s" feeling the white nurseries had given her. Princess Mafalda, the second child, is more like her father and is much more timid than Yolanda. Giovanna, the youngest, is just a fat. good-tempered baby. The pet of the family, of course, is Umberto, the third child and only son. He is just seven, has his father’s mild, quiet ways, but is like his mother in appearance and possesses much of her intelligence and spirit. Though he has ponies of his own, he likes to get on one of the big horses in the stable, and Avould go off alone if a strict eye were not kept on him. Already he can speak French quite fluently and is learning German and English as well. He is interested in the army and navy, but his preference seems to be for the navy, and he has expressed a wish to serve on an Italian man-of-war when he is old enough. The Italian royal household may be said to be one of the happiest in Europe. It was a love match between the king and queen, and King Victor is as much in love with his beautiful wife now as he was when he first saw her; and his happiest moments are when he can put off cares of state for a time, leave Rome and spend long summer days with his wife and children at their country place, riding, fishing or boating, just as the fancy takes him. Science of Management. Management, or the science of execution and administration, is something which requires a specific and distinct training, not simply a superior degree of skill in the performance of subordinate tasks; and our varied resources will not be utilized to their proper and full extent until this is generally and completely realized. The ideal manager should have a broad, liberal education rather than intensive experience in any one line, such as financier, salesman, producer or accountant. It is the writerss belief that no adequate foundation for the work is now being laid in any educational institution in this country. Here instruction in fundamental principles is of primary and in details of secondary importance. Great effort should be made to train a mind to analyze, to digest, to reason, to compare, to deduce and, finally, to arrive at wellrounded, logical, wise decisions. Much attention should also be paid to the art of so communicating one’s decisions to the-mind of another, with regard to their degree of intellectual development, that the desired impression will be created and the desired result follow’ as a matter of course.-* Cassler’s Magazine.

Perplexity. “These political problems are terrible,” said the man who worries about grammar. “What’s the trouble?” “One friend of mine after another has opened campaign headquarters. What I want to know is whether ‘headquarters' is a singular or a plural noun, and if it is singular what is the plural?” ’ What Tiger. One of the animals came up to be named. “Er—tiger!” announced Adam. “Princeton, Tammany or Detroit?” clamored the reporters, who were, of course, present. Whereupon the first father perceived that he had a task of delicacy cut out out for him.—Puck. Somewhat Depressed. “I can not sing the old songs, I can not sing the new,” Remarked a poor suburbanite Whose rent was falling Ona

AROUND THE CAMPSkII fire gaa KISS BROUGHT BACK A LIFE Incident Showing Tenderness of Heart of Martyred President— Scene Worthy of Artist. No story of Abraham Lincoln so well illustrates the great tenderness of’his heart as that which tells of the kiss he gave a grounded soldier-hero. In a narrow cot in the military hospital at City Point Maj. Charles H. Houghton was dying. He had been in command of Fort Haskell, a strategic point in the rear of Grant’s lines, against which all the fury of Lee’s attack was being directed in an effort to break the Union lines. Against Maj. Houghton, a mere boy of 20 years old, were pitted the science and strategic knowledge of Gen. John B. Gordon, of Georgia. Shortly after, at 9 o’clock one morn-, ing, the door at the end of the ward was opened and Dr. MacDonald, chief surgeon, called: ‘ “Attention! The President of the United States.” Those on the cots who had the strength sat erect; nurses propped others against pillow’s. Hands went to pallid foreheads in the military salute and weakened- hearts beat fast again as in the doorway appeared the form of the man who stood for all that thousands of other men had fought for, died for and w’ould live for. There outside the door, the sunlight streaming into the room square, gaunt shoulders, stood Abraham Lincoln. Into the room he stalked, bending his awkward form ungracefully, for the doorway was low. At cot .after cot he paused to speak some word of cheer. At Houghton’s cot the two men paused. “This is the man,” whispered MacDonald. With a large, uncouth hand the President motioned for a chair. Silently a nurse placed one at the cot’s head. Houghton did not know; he could not. As though he were afraid it would clatter and hurt the sufferer, Lincoln softly placed his “stovepipe” hat of exaggerated fashion on the floor. Gently as a woman he took the watted, colorless hand in his own sinewy one of iron strength. Just the suspicion of a pressure was there, but Houghton opened his eyes. Slowly, dully he realized who it was beside him. A smile which had forgotten suffering answered the great President’s smile of pain. In tones soft, almost musical, it seemed, the President spoke to the boy on the cot, told him how he had heard of his great deeds, how he was proud of his fellow countrymaA. how he had saved an army. A few feeble words Houghton spoke in reply. At the poor, toneless voice th* President winced. The doctor had told him that Houghton would die. Then happened a strange thing. The President asked to see the wound which was taking so noble a life. Surgeons and nurses tried to dissuade him, but Lincoln insisted. The horror's of war -were for him to bear as well as others, he told them, and

Gently as a Woman He Took the Wasted, Colorless Hand. to him tho wound was a thing holy Bandages long and stained were removed, and the President saw. “Oh, this war! This awful, awful war!" he sobbed. Down the deep lined furrows of the homely, kindly face hot tears burned their way. Slowly, tenderly, the President leaned over the pillow. Now the tears of which he was not ashamed cut heavy furrows in It and splotched the white sheets on which they fell. While nurses and surgeons and men watched there in the little hospital Abraham Lincoln took the pallid face of Houghton between his hands and kissed it, just below the damp, tangled hair. “My boy,” he said brokenly, swallowing, “you must live. You must live.” The first gleam of real, warm, throbbing life came into the dull eyes. Houghton, stiffened, with a conscious, elastic tension in the cot. With a little wan smile he managed to drag a hand to his forehead. It was the nearest he could come to a salute. The awkward form of the President bent lower and lower to catch the faint, faint words. “I intend to, sir,” was what Houghton said. And he did. What Could One Expect? An Irishman detailed for duty at headquarters felt his importance, and when the colenel sent him to get a pair of shoes, one of which was ordered to be a size larger than the other to allow for his gouty foot, he jumped on the shoemaker: “You hav’ made one bhungle av th’ job. Shure ye were thould to make them one larger than th’ other, and ye goes to worruk an’ makes one schmaller than th’ other. Bitt what could annyone ixpict av a Dootchmog?

DOES YOUR BACK ACHE? Aches and Twinges Point to Hidden Kidney Trouble. Have you a lame back, aching day and night? Do you feel a sharp pain after bending over? When the kidney* 6eem sofe and the action irregular,

use Doan’s Kidney Pills, which have cured thousands. J. W. Priest, Third St., Marysville, Ohio, says: “I was in awful condition from kidney trouble, having run down ip weight from 220 to 150 pounds. The pains across my back and loin* were constantly i grow-ing worse and kidney secretions

“Every \\ iVSX. Picture V 3 Tells a \’A a/xB

caused untold annoyance. Doan’s Kidney Pills cured me after doctors failed 0 and I have had no trouble since.” “When your Baek is Lame, Remember thd'Name —DOAN’S.”SOc all store*. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. How His Brother Identified Him. Uncle Harris; an old negro, who ha* been a servant in the family of Colonel Slemmens of Monticello, Ark., for the last forty years, recently made a trip, to Memphis. Upon his return he was telling the colonel’s daughter of his trip and the discovery of a brother whom he had net seen for thiity years. Miss Slemmens asked him how he Knew his brother after so long a time, and Uncle Harris replied: “I was walking along the street w'heri a spare built looking man came up to me and says: ‘Say, ain’t you my brother?’ and I said, ‘Sure I Is. Who is you?’” What Every Woman Knows. A Cleveland school teacher write* chat she asked her class what was the iifference between the expressions, “» vhile” and “a time.” Nobody seemed ;o have any idea on the subject, finally the light of intelligence was tegn to shine in the eyes of one little x>y, and the teacher called upon him o save the intellectual honor of the :lass. “I know, teacher!” he cried eagerly. ‘When papa says he’s going out for a while, mamma says she knows he’* joing out for a time!” That’s one way of looking at it.— Cleveland plain Dealer. The Bunco Game. “You can’t fool all the people all the time.” “You don’t need to; if you can fool half of the people some of the time you can make a good living.” Where the Leak Was. Boa!*der (excitedly)—There’s a rumor afloat ' Mistress —Jennie, turn off the water in room 4! —Judge. Stop the Pain. The hurt of a burn or a cut stops when Cole’s Carbolisalve is applied. It heals quickly and prevents scars. 25c and 50c by druggists. For free sample write to I. W. Cole & Co.. Black River Falls. Wls. When the nervous man reaches the top,/he is apt to look around for the fire escapes. Dyspeptics, despair not ’ While there’s Garfield Tea, there’s hope. If a woman’s judgment is bad she o trusts her intuition. "

BACKACHE NOTJUJISEASE But a Symptom, a Danger Signal Which Every Woman Should Heed. Backache is a symptom of organicweakness or derangement. If you have backache don’t neglect it To get permanent relief you must reach the root of the trouble. Read about Mrs. Woodall’s experience. Morton’s Gap, Kentucky.— ‘ *1 suffered two years with female disorders, my

health was very bad and I had a continual backache which was simply awful. I could not stand on my feet long enough to cook a meal’s victuals without my ack nearly killing me, and I would have such dragging sensations I could hardly bear it. I had sore-

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ness in each side, could not stand tight clothing, and was irregular. I was completely run down. On advice I took Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound and am enjoj’ing good health. It is now more than two years and I have not had an ache or pain since. Ido all my own work, washing and everything, and never have backache any more.. I think your medicine is grand and I praise it to all my'neighbors. If you think my testimony will help others you may publish it.”—Mrs. Ollie Woodall, Morton’s Gap, Kentucky. If you have the slightest deubt that Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound w ill help you, write to Lydia E.Pinkham Medicine Co. (confidential) Lynn, Mass., for advice. Your letter will be opened, read and answered by a woman, and held in strict confidence. THE NEW FRENCH MddreM envelope for FREE booklet to DR. LK CLERQ CO., HAVERSTOCK RD.» HAMPSTEAD* LON KN (A. ScO FtchlngYiSs Fort Wayne Directory WHEN IN FORT WAYNE, STOP AT j. Wayne Hotel KS. r *! A Hotel for Your Mother, Wife and Sme: AWNINGS, TENTS THE PAUL E. WOLF BEDDING COMPANY MS-621 Clinton Streot Fort Wajnk tndtew