The Syracuse Journal, Volume 4, Number 40, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 1 February 1912 — Page 7

LOST 61 POUNDS. Another Terrible Case of Gravel Cured By Doan's Kidney Pills. Chas. TJnderstein, 50 W. 44th St., Chicago, HL, says: “Kidney trouble ran see down from 196 to 136 pounds and I was but a shadow of my former self.

Oh! bow I suffered. I became so bad the doctors said my left side was paralysed. I could not walk without assistance. I grew worse and went to a hospital but was not helped. My friends all thought I would die. „ Three weeks after I began taking

' i tl I ■' I

Doan’s Kidney Pills, I passed a gravel ptone as large as a pea. The stones continued to pass at Intervals. I passed eleven in one day. Doan's Kidney Pills finally cured me and I have had no kidney trouble since.” “When Your Back is Lame, Remember the Name —DOAN’S.” 50c,a1l stores. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. MEAN TRICK PLAYED BY FATE Chances Are That Statesman Had a Hard Time Explaining Matters to His Wife. The story is that it happened about like this: A representative from Indiana came on to Washington when started up. and engaged comfortable living quarters befoie his wife arrived She reached there seme time later on a Saturday night. The next morning she said: “Now. Ralph, we’ll go to church, of course. Which church have you been attending?” “Wh-er-uh, which one, you say?" repeated the congressman. “Why, there’s a mighty nice little church ■ down here just a couple of blocks. It’s j such an easy walk that I’ve been go- i Ing there rather than to some of the more fashionable churches.” “All right, if you feel at home there, that's where we’ll go,” said the con gressman’s wife. “We haven’t much time, anyhow." So they put on their things and went to the little church down the street. When they got inside they made a startling discovery. They were the only white people In the church.—Philadelphia Leader A Feed of Hay. "Once upon a time.” C. M. Thurnauer served upon- a murder jury. For hours and hours the body deliberated —11 agreed upon a verdict... but the twelfth obdurately refused to change his position. Finally a court officer rapped at the door and inquired as to the prospects of agreement “None In sight,” responded the thoroughly disgusted C. M. “Perhaps I had better bring in 12 suppers, then,” suggested the officer. “No,” said Thurnauer. glaring viciously at the unpersuadable member, "bring in 11 suppers and one feed of hay." Coming Financier. In a certain country village where I co-operation has a, firm hold on the inhabitants, and where the “trading check” habit also flourishes, one little girl proudly called to another: “We've got a new baby at our house?” “Where did you get it?” was the reply. “Oh, the doctor brought it.” “Now, why,” queried the thrifty little sympathizer, gravely, “didn’t you ; buy it at the store and get either a j dividend or a trading stamp? The doctor doesn’t give either, does he?” Asking a Gcod Deal of Her. Mrs. Baek-Bay—l shall want you to be dressed by three o’clock, Ellen, to receive any friends who may call Ellen —Oh. lor, mum! Ain’t you goin’ to be in?

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■X > XII I Rummage | and Romance W By M. DIBBELL ■be—- “ Contributions for another rummage sale? Good gracious, Ella, do you think we have a complete new outfit of clothing every three months?” Mrs. Bond’s voice sounded a trifle impatient “Remember it is for the good of the ‘Cause,’ Minerva, and think what a blessing it will be to the Long read people to get some warm things cheap —I am sure you haven’t weeded out all the closets yet.” “What a fine collector you make.” Mrs. Bond had regained her usual good nature. “Come in, and I will take a look around. I simply won’t promise to get them down to you. You must take them with you if you want them.” “I shall be delighted,” answered her friend. “It will do me good to sit down and meditate on the best way to approach my nex She seated herself in a rocker, while Mrs. Bond went on her search. It was not long before she returned, her arms piled high with garments. Depositing them on the table she re--1 marked: “I found a treasure trove in Leslie's room. HS told me some time ago that if I knew anybody who needed something warm to wear, he hoped I would bestow his extra sweaters and coats on them, but I had forgotten all about it till I saw them. He only went away day before yesterday.” “Oh, that is splendid!” Ella Vaiden cried. “They will be just the thing for j some of the men who have very little I left for clothes after the family is fed.” She handled the articles almost caressingly, for she had a soft place in her heart for the hard working Long road men. Mrs. Bond began to feel in the pock- ! ets of the coats. “Leslie is such a careless fellow,” she explained. “It would be just like him to leave something valuable in an old coat pocket. Seven handkerchiefs, a watch charm, also the chain to which the charm belonged, and a purse containing several dollars, rewarded her search. Last of all she drew from the outer pocket of a sack coat a letter, and her friend who was laughing over Leslie’s pocket collection, was startled at the look which came into Mrs. Bond’s face. “What is the matter?” she queried In dismay. “The matter is that Leslie’s forgetfulness may have spoiled the rest of his life for him," gasped Mrs. Bond, and tears filled her eyes. “He has forgotten to mail the letter I wrote to Eva Herding. O, why didn’t I tell him how much her receiving it might mean to him?” Ella Vaiden strove to comfort her, and at last her calm was restored. “I shall tell you ffll about it,” said : Mrs. Bond when she could speak. “I must have advice from some one, and you always liked Leslie.” “Indeed I have,” said Miss Vaiden warmly. “No one could help liking such a dear boy. I only wish I might help you somehow.” “You know that Eva and he have known each other all their lives, and we all hoped that some day she would come into the family. But last summer she seemed to change in her man- ! ner toward Leslie —he did not under- ' stand it at all, why she should treat him so coldly, when he had done noth- ' ing to offend her. He always came to me with his troubles, as well as his joys, and we were both puzzled. I advised him to ask her for an explanation, but when he did she insisted that there was nothing to explain, that they were simply good friends, and they always had been. “Providentially, I found out the whole trouble—it doesn’t seem possible t that such things could happen. But ’some men seem to have no sense of I'humor when their so-called ‘love’ is 1 concerned, and Jacob Hilbert is that j Jjind of man. He wants Eva himself* , and he told her that Leslie was making love to Ada Folwell, and apparently proved his statement by showing her a note purporting to be from Leslie to Ada. I don’t know how he said he came in possession of the note, but he made Eva believe that he was telling the truth. It was a dear friend of Eva’s to whom she confided the whole wretched story under promise o fsecrecy, who came and told me. She did not believe that Leslie was double faced, and she hoped I might help matters somehow. I wrote Eva that I knew Leslie was true to her, and could prove it If she would come to me. I gave the note to Leslie to mail, and did not speak of it again. This morning I saw her drive past with Jacob Hilbert —she did not get my note, and I am sure she is going to marry him, perhaps today. O, what shall I do?” Mrs. Bond looked hopelessly at her friend. Her surprise was intense when Ella valden asked calmly: “Where did Leslie go when he left you?” “On one of his business trips for the firm. But what has that to do with—” Her friend interrupted: “I think you ire mistaken, Minerva, for brother John saw him over in Westville yesterday, leaving the minister’s house, with Ada Folwell beside him, and the minister’s wife came running to the door to throw a big handful of rice after them.” Mrs. Bond had no explanation to offer. She stared dumbly at her questioner.

J “Perhaps I can straighten things | out a little for you. Ella 4 Valden’i . j crun voicet went on. when she received Ino answer. “Eva has been going about with Jacob Hilbert a good deal dur I ing the last six months, and my own I opinion is that she made up the story about Leslie as an excuse to her friend for treating him shabbily. Fortunately I Leslie met Ada Folwell when she cam< . to visit her aunt, and I think it was a case of love at first sight with both of them. Leslie, I know, would have considered himself bound to Eva. Il she had not slighted him, but I hav« more than once thought that his feeling for her was only friendship, and I am glad for his sake that matters have turned out this way. I never told you some of the unpleasant things 1 knew about Eva’s disposition, but now I will say that I think he has had s very lucky escape.” Mrs. Bond sighed. “How could you possibly know all this, when I nevei even guessed a word of it?” she asked wonderingly. Ella Vaiden smiled. “Remember that Ada’s aunt is my particular friend, and that Eva Harding is my next doot neighbor, also that my eyesight is still good.” There was silence for a moment, broken by Mrs. Bond’s remarking in much more cheerful tones: “I have only met Ada Folwell a few times, but I liked all I saw of her immensely; and though I would not acknowledge it even to myself, I have feared that Eva might not make Leslie happy. Wouldn’t | you have told me a word about all thia if I hadn’t found that letter and asked j your advice?” “Why should I have given information which Leslie would rather have ffl- » . . “What Is the Matter?” you receive from himself? Now I must take your donation down to the sale* and start out after others.” As Miss Vaiden was descending the steps with her big bundle of clothing, a carriage drove up to the gate. She called back to Mrs. Bond: “I think you are to receive a call from the newly married couple—tell me if. J worked out the correct answer to Leslie’s part of the puzzle.” It was Leslie and his bride. “I know all about it,” cried Mrs Bond, as she kissed the blushing Ada “You must tell me the story all over again, so I can be sure I have it right." The next time Mrs. Bond met Ella Vaiden she said: “I think nature in , tended you for a great detective, Ella, : for things had happened just as yoq ‘ thought they had—and Ada is a dear.” j ■ House Mother’s Place. A charming institution of German homes abroad is what is known as the hausmutter platz—“the housewife’s place. In the choicest nook of the mother’s special room —preferably under a window, and not too far from the stove —is built a small platform, sometimes railed, raised about two feet from the floor. Upon this platform spread with a comfortable rug, stand the mother’s easy chair, work ! basket, footstool, or whatever else et j occupation calls for; and here like a queen on her throne the/mother peace- * fully sits at work while her little ones play securely about the room. In well regulated German households the house mother’s place Is held sacred, and an invitation to enter it is regarded by the child as a special privilege. But, aside from this, the pleasant and convenient hausmutter platz has much to recommend it to American mothers.—Good Housekeeping Magazine. His Day of Doom. The wealthy bachelor sat alone in his luxuriously furnished rooms. Around him were signs of great : wealth. i Nevertheless, he was unhappy. Do not think ’twas because he was : in love. That isn’t the point of the story at . all. . ' He was impressed with a sense of . impending doom. He could not fathom , the how or why or what. He only i felt the presentiment. s There he sat in the midst of his luxury, a picture of wretchedness; * with his chin in his hands. i Suddenly there was a knock. “Ah!” he muttered. i Striding to the door, he flung it ■ open. On the threshold stood a fqmald , book agent. i “Caught at last!" he murmured, s huskily, and sank into a swoon. > '■ Saved. ► “I see they’ve given the detective : department an automobile.” “Yes, for running down clews.”

HffT JMSTj Hl' arary? ARGUMENT FOR FRESH AIR Monty Mollycoddle Hae Convincing Reply for Man Who Opened Window on Chilly Evening. Monty Mollycoddle closed the window. Freddy Freshair opened it. Then they frowned at each other. “Do you mind lowering' the window, old chap?” said Monty. “This weath- . er's exceedingly treacherous, and on these chilly evenings one can’t be too i careful.” “On the contrary,” retorted Freddie, “one can kill oneself with care.” “Yes/but it’s easier to kill oneself with a draft,” observed Monty. , “Nonsense,” replied Freddie. “Look ! at all these modern cranks and comI pare them with our splendid ancesj tors. They don’t stand comparison! ■ And our ancestors didn’t take mediI cines, or stay in stuffy rooms or bind their necks with woolen comforts when they went out." “I know they didn’t,” answered Monty. “And where are they now? All dead!” —Answers. Unfair Advantage. “Dibbs is a most disagreeable person.” “Now, what has Dibbs been doing to you?” “Just because he knows how to pronounce two or three Chinese names, be is always turning the conversation to the upheaval in China.” Hard to Lift. “There goes a merchant who has a supreme contempt for shoplifters.” “You surprise me.” “He doesn’t care how many come into his store.” “Well! Well! What does he sell?” “Safes. There isn’t one in his store that weighs less than 2,000 pounds.” Long Wait In Store. “Miss Frosty Winters says she is going to stand under the mistletoe.” “Just so.” "What would you suggest?” “When she gets tired of resting most of her weight on one foot, she might shift it to the other.” The Power of Beauty. "Brown’s wife is a beautiful woman, isn’t she?” . “She surely is.” , “If I had a wife as beautiful as that she could buy me all the Christmas neckties she wanted to—and rd wear ■ ’em, by gum!" WHAT HE THOUGHT. I (7 1 I! m ! v? Zsk-SkW 1 f I ****** at// i I Customer (in cigar store) —I want to buy a pipestem. Salesman —Yes, 3lr; how long wculd you like it? Customer —I reckon I can. keep it is long as it lasts, «an’t I? Unpcrttic. "I shall leave footprints on the sands of time,” saiA the idealist. “What for?” the crudely practical person. “Ncbody will want to go ’round looking -or footprints. What we want to do posterity is to help build some ftoed roads.”—Washington Star. ' Didn’t L*Fe Her Views. Mrs. Gibbs—S- you had a gathering at your home latt week to discuss the servant problem. Were there any results? Mrs. Dlbb*--Yes, the servants overheard us and gave notice. A Bright Idea. “Wearing a toupee is a very good way to hide a bald spot on top of one’s read.” “Quite true. Wearing a hat la another good way." Before Hostilities Began. *1 hope your novel ends happily?" “Indeed it does. It ends in the marriage of the heroine and hero; does ■not go into their married life at aIL”

MAN WOULDNT BE FRIENDLY Borrower of Money Couldn't Just Remember Whether He Had Returned It in Registered Letter. Two years had elansad. Then the man who had promised upon his honor that he would send back the |3 just as soon as he could find a job r» turned. The man at the desk looked up without betraying enthusiasm. “Well,” he asked, “what do you want?” “Why, I happened to be passing thia way, and I thought I’d run in and see you. You’re lookin’ fine." “Thanks. By the way, I never got the $3 you were going to return to me as soon as you found a job.” “Didn’t you? Why, I sent it.” ■ “That’s just like the government It’s always letting important letter* get lost! Did you register it?” “I don’t just remember now. I guess I didn’t.” “That was careless. You always ought to register letters in which you return borrowed money. Where did you send It from? Perhaps we can trace it, even if it wasn’t registered? “Why, I—let me see? I think it was from Cincinnati.” “Well, you hurry back to Cincinnati and start a tracer from that end and I I’ll see what I can do to have things ! stirred up here.” “Confound him!” said the borrower ; when he had reached the hall, “there’s no use tryin’ to be friendly with a man like that.” AN AGED EGG. Mrs. Kidder—l wonder how Columbus ma*3e the egg stand on end? Kidd'T —Easy. He shook it around until hf» had the chicken’s feet in the big end of the egg, and then stood him on then. Why He Sold Papers. A nxf-all newsboy’s loud, gay call halted i woman passing along the street rs a western city, and, as she paid » penny for one of his papers, she arf'sd: t do you pay for your papers?” “I’s n Sandy Jim’s beat,” he replied, r \n’ I pays a cent apiece.” “Bvt if you don’t make anything, why »1C you go Bbout selling papers?" “Sc , getu a chance,” he answered, “to hUler, an’ go ’round with th’ push. "—Harper’s. Who Has? Mfts Scribble—The heroine of my next story is to be one of those mod- ? ern advanced girls who have ideas of their own and don’t want to, get mar i ried. The Colonel (politely)—Ah, indeed, i 11 don’t think I ever met that type.— ‘ I Life. Suggesting Improvements. “Does your boy Josh take an interest in the farm?” “He’s beginnin’ to,” replied Mr. Corntossel. “He’s been showin’ me where we could have some dandy golf links an’ how easy .it wculd be to turn the barn into a garage.” Including the .Wedding Fee. Mrs. Chubb (with newspaper)—l see several persons are petitioning to have their names changed. What does it cost to have a name changed? Mr. Chubb—lt cost me a couple of hundred to have your name changed to mine. . All for Love. Mr. A —Norah seems quite gone on the postman. Mrs. A —Gone! Do you know what that girl does? She mails herself a postcard every evening so as to make sure he’ll call the next morning. An Iconoclast. Passerby—What’s the fuss in school yard, boy? The Boy—Why, the doctor has just been around examinin’ us an’ one of the deficient boys is kickin’ the everlastin’ stuffin' out of a perfect kid. Same Old Qualifications. “This,” said the dealer, “is the best automobile you could buy; just the thing for a lady.” “Really?" remarked Miss Bright. “I suppose it’s—er—kind and gentle and not afraid of trolley cars.”—Catholic Standard and Times. A Culinary Paradox. "Your cook Is a contrary kind of creature.” “How so?" “Because she is a rare cook, yet all her works are well done.” Harmony. "Miss Dibbs prides herself on her accuracy.” "I know she does. When her halfsister died she went into half-moun-lag- .

TOO EXCITING FOR CROKER Ex-Tvmmany Chief, Like So Many Others, Succumbed to the FascL nation of Stevenson. The ideas of Richard Croker do not ran on bookish lines. Regretting this circumstance and considering that a taste for literature, once inculcated, might be a source of pleasure in his advanced yean, a journalistic Mead Who crossed the Atlantic with the onetime chieftain of Tammany hall not long ago cornered him in the steamehlp library one evening and obtained a reluctant permission to read "Treasure Island” to him. Much to his friend’s encouragement, Mr. Croker listened with unfeigned interest until the Ights went out and apparently enjoyed the narration of the exciting events of John Morgan, Billy Bones, Black Dog, John Silver and the others. Wherefore, finding Mr. Crocker in the library the next evening, the journalist again pro duced his volume of Stevenson and drew up a chair. But the one-time Tammany chieftain lifted a protesting hand. “Don’t read that book to me any more,” he said. "I* couldn’t get to sleep last night for thinking about j those fellows.” ; DISFIGURED WITH CRUStS “Some time ago I was taken with eczema from the top of my head to my waist. If began with scales on my i body. I suffered untold itching and I burning, and could not sleep. I was I greatly disfigured with scales and crusts. My ears looked as if they had been most cut off with a razor, and my neck was perfectly raw. I suffered untold agony and pain. I tried two doctors who said I had eczema in its fullest stage, and that it could not be cured. I then tried other remedies to no avail. At last, I tried a set of the genuine Cutlcura Remedies, which cured me of eczema when all else had failed, therefore I cannot praise them too highly. “I suffered with eczema about ten months, but am now entirely cured, and I believe Cutlcura Remedies are the best skin cure there is." (Signed) Miss Mattie J. Shaffer, R. F. D. L Box 8, Dancy, Miss., Oct 27, 1919. "I had suffered from eczema about four years when boils began to break out on different parts of my body. It started with a fine red rash. My back was affected first when it also spread over my face. The itching was I almost unbearable at times. I tried different soaps and salves, but nothing seemed to help me until 1 began to use the Cutlcura Soap and Ointment One box of them cured me entirely. 1 recommended them to my sister for her baby who was troubled with tooth eczema, and they completely cured her baby.” (Signed) Mrs. F. L. Marberger, Drehersville, Pa., Sept 6, 1910. Although Cutlcura Soap and Ointment are sold everywhere, a sample of each, with 32-page book, will be mailed free on application to "CuUcura„” Dept. L, Boston. - Mandy’s Idea of It Mistress —What! Going to leave me to get married? Whom are you going to marry? Mandy—Ah’s done goin’ to marry Ling Chung, the Chinese laundryman. He’s a good man, he is. “But Mandy, think of what your children would be!” “Yes, mum. Ah has. Ah knows de poor little thing's’ll be Mexicans, but ■ i Ah loves him just de same!” Chorus Girl Repartee. Trixie—O, you’re not such a much! ! Zaza—No? I don’t see any Pitts--1 burg millionaire's picture on your ; bureau, either!—Christmas Puck. Escaped. Gillet —So you’ve just come from Henpecked’s funeral. How did the old boy look? Natural? Perry—No—relieved.

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