The Syracuse Journal, Volume 3, Number 36, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 5 January 1911 — Page 7

BELLS LOST A GOOD OPPORTUNITY Newly Married Man Riding Through Tunner With His Bride Is Made Butt of Joke by Fjriends. 1 1 They had just been rfaarried, and were off on their honeymoon. They foupd an empty compartment, but just as the train was about to start in jumped three of his workmates, who were delighted to see them. But Bertie was otherwise. As the train was nearing a very long tunnel, the three young men began to make bets as to how long It would take them to go through It. No. 1 reckoned five minutes, No. 3 fivd and a half, while No. 3 gave ItMs his opinion that it would! be quite sjx minutes. They pulled out their watches, iand the train dashed into the tunnel; When they came out at the other end; the three were laughing heartily, bub Bertie failed to. discern any Joke. Ait the next station, to the great relief of Bertie the three unwelcome intruders alighted. He turned to his blushihg bride. “Taney, dearest,” he said, “six minutes in that tunnel! If I had only known, 1 should have kissed you several times.” ' “Why,” she exclaimed in surprise, “didn’t you?” Tpen it dawned upon him where the joke came in, and his dear little wifie had? to pebuke him on account of the fordibleness of his remarks. L. Side Show Troubles. “Where is the flea circus?’ ” demanded the visitor to the side show. “I see it is advertised on the program.” “Sorry, sir,” wailed the big man in the silk hat, “but there won’t be any ‘flea circus’ today.” “And why not?” "Because a cat just passed through and eloped with the whole blooming circus.” A Born Copper. “Now,* said the new policeman who had been assigned to night duty, “ain’t there a drawer or some place where I can lock up my watch an* money tiir I go off duty?’!’ “Keep ’em on you,” suggested fhsi chief. « “But my beat’s in a tough part of town an’ I might be robbed whilst Tm dozin’.” SUREST THING. I I \ 11 Political Orator— There ire too mw rich men in politics. ■ Politician—l’ve done all I could to make ’em spend their money. ■ Saves Time. “Pipps is not one of those fellows who hangs his clothes on a chandelier when he goes home about three o’clock in the morning slightly .the worse for wear.” “No?” "Pipps goes to bed with his clothes tin.” i" :r - ' I ’ Courtship. “Then the duke and the heiress will not wed?" "Seems not. The thing was mismanaged on both sides. The continental newspapers failed to co-oper-ate properly with the American press.” A Cruel Compliment. "Glad yon are’ going to make such an appropriate match, Miss Oldgirl." “Oh, ‘thank you so much. But why do you think it bo appropriate?” "I heard you’ were engaged to a dealer in antiques.” Could Be Worse. "His wife spates him stand around, and that’s no Joke.” “Standing around is not so hard, he might make him move pictures."

I GOOD IDEA OF PHENOMENON WorKingman Explains in Characteristic Way His Definition of an Extraordinary Occurrence. A workman, endeavoring to explain to one of his mates what a phenomenon was, made the following attempt: “It’s like this. Suppose you were to go out into the country and see a field of thistles growing.” “Yes,” assented his friend. “Well, that would not be a phenomenon ! ” “No, that’s quite clear,” agreed the old man. “But suppose you were to see a lark singing away up in the sky.” < “Yes.” “Well, that would not be a phe- « nomenon!” “No, that also seems clear.” “But imagine there is a bull in the field.” “Yes,” his friend could imagine thaf “Even that would not be a pbe nomenon.” ■< “NO.” “But now, Bill, look here. Suppose you saw that bull sitting on them thistles whistling like a lark—well that would be a phenomenon!” OBJECTIONABLE IN EITHER CASE kL J )' WS Ik wl Grace —Why did she break the engagement? Mystle—He told her that she was the only girl he had ever kissed. Grace —What of it? Myrtle—Why, she naturally reasoned thxt he was either untruthful or absurdly foolish, and he was hardly worth having in either case. Sh* Declared. Mrs. Myles—When she arrived from Europe Miss Fussanfeather failed to declare some of the new clothes she brought over with her. Mrs. Styles—And did the customs inspectors discover anything? “Oh, yes.” “Arid what did she say?” “She merely said, ‘Oh, I declare!’” —Yonkers Statesman. The Silver Lining. “Oh, John!" exclaimed Mrs. Shortcash, who was reading a letter, “our son has been expelled from college.. Isn’t K awful?” “Oh, I don’t know," answered Shortcash. “Perhaps I can pull through without making an assignment now.” In Olden Days. Xerxes was in merry mood. "You have an extraordinary name,” remarked the friend, “but what is in a name, anyway?” “Well,” laughed the ancient man, “there are a couple of X’s in my name, and they come in handy these days.” And then Xerxes went out and bought himself an overcoat Caution. “What makes you keep singing when you go into the woods?” said one hunter. “Don’t you know it will frighten the deer?” “Perhaps,” replied the other. “But it will also help to prevent my being mistaken for one.”—Washington Star. , Autos and Mules High. Church—lncrease in the number of automobiles in New York is not bringing down the price of horses. The average price for a horse is sll9 and mules cost sl4 more. Gotham—The more things balk the higher they come.—Yonkers Statesman. Working Backward. "Political campaign calculations,’’ remarked Professor Tailbrow, “are a distinct of mathematics.” "How so?” was asked. “You begin with the answer, then , work backward for the purpose of evolving a problem to demonstrate it," explained the professor. He Knew Her. "Better give up that yonug man, daughter. You aren’t really interested in him.” "But, papa, I have decided to marry him.” “Yes; but you haven’t changed your mind two or three times." - StrVilng an Average. "Ella Wheeler Wilcox says there is too much talking j» the world.” “Well, if talking was an indictable offense Ella would have a hard time proving an alibi.” "But look at the talking that Mr. Ella Wheeler doesn't do.’’

COLLEGE HAS RARE TREASURE Miami University Has Table Used by Dr. McGuffey in Compiling Famous Readers. Columbus,- O.—McGuffey’s Third Reader! You remember it and all the other McGuffeys, don’t you? You. right this moment, are thinking about the story of the bad boy who wen. Into the forest and, as a joke, cried “The wolf! The wolf!” And when the neighbors came to rescue him he laughed and said it was all a joke. You remember, too, that one day the, wolf did come and woe befell the naughty little boy. And you ber “The Inchcape Rock” and the story about the noble dogs that res> cued the man lost in tlje snow, and — oh, you remember that all right. A table that occupies a conspicuous place in the museum of Miami unlDoctor McGuffey’s Table. versity at Oxford, O„ was used by Doctor McGuffey when he compiled the readers that made him famous. Tradition in the old college town of Oxford is that Doctor McGuffey built this table himself. It Is octagonal in shape and has eight drawers. The table revolves on a pivot. Doctor McGuffey was for years a professor in Miami university, and while serving in that capacity gathered the mate rial that made up his series of school readers. He read newspapers, magaslnes, books and everything else that, might furnish clippings which would fit his reader ideas. He had six of the drawers in his revolving desk marked and when he found anything that he thought would be serviceable for a reader he threw It into the drawer marked for that particular reader. When he had obtained a lot of material he invited children of Oxford over to the college to hear him read “pieces.” He divided the children into groups, according to age, and when he read something that interested a child of third reader age he would place that piece back in the drawer No. 3. When one of his readings interested a child of fourth reader age the piece would go into drawer No. 4. The same rule applied to all his readers. Finally he had the drawers filled with enough matter to compile the series and then 'vas born the famous McGuffey read STS. The old desk is one of the treasures of Miami university and cannot be bought. Interesting sums have been offered for it, but the college holds it as a sort of medal of honoi applied to its history as an educa tlonal institution. ARGENTINA’S ROCKING STONI A Noted Example of the Many Curieui Toys Found In Nature’s Wonderland. Buenos Ayres. — Nearly every io cality has its lover’s leap or some likt spot of local Interest, where sometimi In the history of the world nature hai had her playground and with the ait of the wind and rain has fashioned the solid rock into weird, fantastic shapes that at once excite our ad miration and awe. One of the most noted of these nat oral formations is the rocking stone situated near the city of Tandll, Argen Wonderful Rocking Stone. ana. This Is a perfectly balance< boulder of Immense size, so lodge .hat it can be rocked without fear o Its falling. Probably it was former by the dissolving or wearing away o $ softer stratum of rock, leaving th« harder portion to maintain its equilib Hum on a curved surface. . A Variable Lake. Washington.—-Lake Chad in Afrlc; * peculiar. Its changes are a puzzh ‘o geologists. In 1904 in the north era part ships were sailing across it four years later caravans were cross ng It on Ary land. In size its surfao j about equal to Pennsylvania and it .verage depth is five feet. Even th. winds suffice to change Its level t such an extent as to submerge o leave bare portions of its shores. 1 is entirely independent of the rive: that flow into the Atlantic and $h Medttenaneaa.

‘ HOME ffijf DEPARTMENT

COATS FOR YOUNG TOTS SEASON’S STYLES SHOW PREFERENCE FOR FURRY STUFFS. White Cloths That Resemble Caracul Are Made Up in Cozy Loose Sacks for Giris From Two to Ten. .» The mother who has Jailed to buy a new winter coat fo/ner small girl’ will find plenty of models to select from now. Coatings of all sorts have grown prodigiously cheaper since the tirst of the season, such woven textures as imitate animal skins going in remnants especially low. Private makers show a liking for ;hese furry stuffs, which have a deliciously warm look and are not too heavy for small folk. The white cloths that resemble caracul so closely it is sometimes difficult to tell the deception at first glance are made up in cozy loose sacks in various models for girls from two to ten. Sometimes One of these coats will have a shawl ✓Gllar of satin, or collars and cuffs of -he material will have a bias satin ed£e;, but bands of genuine longhaired fur look more appropriate than these trimmings, and they give ihe gi.rment the look needed for midwinter. If these imitation fur materials are not usee! for the best coat it is of plain cldth, corduroy or velvet. The mottled ' weeds, beaver cloths and checked md striped cheviots are reserved fcr the practical garment, and though the model used may be the same as th: t employed for smarter ones a bit of velvet on the collar and cuffs is the only trimming seen. The preference, in fact, is for great plainness with the practical coat, so plain stitching and bone buttons go most commonly with the useful everyday textures. The shat that sets jff the coat is an Important point, ard there is some quaint and charming millinery for the smaller girls, for maids are always dressed more gaily under six than over that age. The peach, basket still hold place in favor for tots who can wear these somewhat eccentric hats, and there are bowl shapes, ruffled bonnets and felt brim hats that drop becomingly over the ears. A band made of ribbon loops, put around the crown, is one easy home trimming a felt hat on the sundown order, and there are some Tyrolean shapes of black and colored plush that need only tiny bunch of fancy feathers at the side to be complete. These last

I FAD THAT IS WORK OF TIME Crocheting and Old-Fashioned Bedspread Is a Matter of Months, Het Weeks. The fad for crocheting bedspreads has been revived in the last two years. To crochet a spread that has 271,490 stitches’ in it, besides embroidering the heavy linen strips that are sometimes used in between, requires a perseverance that is not often exhibited in these days of rapidly passing crazes. Few women have either time or patience to give to a SteMXI :519s $ gjw few i sSwfi Detail of Crochet Bedspread. ork which requires from seven months to a year for its completion. The material used for these spreads 3 a thread known as carpet warp in cru or cream. Sometimes the white 3 preferred. The one in the cut was lade by Mrs. Eleanor Vermillion of 19 Park avenue. Mrs. Vermillion is eventy years old, but was such a apid worker that hers was comleted in seven months. There it a olster cover to match this spread to >e used or not as desired. One hunted dollars is the value placed on tie set, where it is exhibited by one who is a judge of such work.

are very useful for practical service, and they may be smartened up prodigiously with a band and quills of white satin. The coat shown in the illustration takes it swagger cut from women’s riding coats, these showing in many cases the same stylish shaping of the front and back set sections. ‘ - T 1 Swagger Effect. So, because of this horsiness, ridlni coat colors and materials are largelj used for the style—plain or twilled cloths in various shades of brown or sage. Only very good stitching and bone buttons ornament such coats, though they may have handsome linings sometimes going to the hem. Home-Made Bead Trimmings. Beading is so much in evidence that the woman who neglects the opportunity to do some of this work for herself will regret it, for with very little labor one can have all the most effective tunics and trimmings for evening gowns.

WHAT WILL BE NEXT IN HAIR? Must Be Dressed to Suit CostumeMeans Great Variety in Hairdressing. Just" why should woman bother tc keep her own hair? Just now all its use seems to be as a knob to hold al), sorts' of artificial coiffures. The latest is that the hair must be dressed to suit the costume and as al most every period is represented in the season’s styles, this means a variety ' in hairdressing that no one head oi hair could stand for. Fortunately the demand is not made for many fashionable women who g( in for ultra styles are frankly wearin. wigs. They call them transformations perhaps, but wigs they are none the less. One woman of many gowns has dummy heads made on which the different styles of coiffure can be kept out of harm’s way—a sort of feminine •‘Blue Beard’s” chamber must hei dressing room, look. To Launder Colored Frock. While it is an easy matter to launder white goods it is often a matter of concern to the laundress when a colored dress comes to her hands. Pink frocks, especially, fade almost at first washing and this is usually ' helped along by an indiscriminate use of bluing. Instead of heing rinsed in blue water pink water should be substituted. Pour boiling water over turkey red cheesecloth and when the desired color is obtained soak the dress to be “pinked” in it. Wring lightly and bang out to dry. Colored material should be washed in hot suds, to one gallon of which is added an even teaspoonful of kitchen salt to set the color. If any starch is used, have it thin and do not starch a skirt above the hips. Shake out the goods before hanging them up. When perfectly dry sprinkle well in the evening and iron in |he morning on the wrong side with a hot iron, but not enough to scorch the goods. To Restore Color. A turquoise which has lost its blue color and becomes green may be restored by being soaked in pure alcohol for two weeks and dried carefully for a week. If the color changes again repeat ‘ v

New York and Philadelphia. She was a beautiful and statuesque blonde who had changed her residence from New York to this city and secured a position as stenographer i the offices of a staid, dignified citizen of good old Quaker descent. On the morning of her first appearance shp went straight to the desk of the boss. “I presume,” she remarked, “that you bc , ”’n the day over here the same as th' do in New York?” “Oh, yes,” replied the boss, without glancing from the letter he was reading. “Well, hurry up and kiss me then,” was the startling rejoinder, “I want to get to work.”—Philadelphia Telegraph. Vr». Winslow’s Soothing Syrup. Forchlldren teething, softens the guius, reducesln•Ummauoa,allays pain cures wind colic. 25cabovUeOccasionally you hear some one mentioned as being a good liar. Try Mrs. Austins Famous Pancake Flour, sure to please, all grocers. The trouble hunter always bags game.

Remedies are Needed Were we perfect, which we are not, medicines would not often be needed. But since our systems have become weakened, impaired and broken down through indiscretions which have gone on from the early ages, through countless generations, remedies art needed to aid Nature in correcting our inherited and otherwise acquired weaknesses. To reach the seat of stomach weakness and consequent digestive troubles, there is nothing so good as Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery, a glyceric compound, extracted from native medic-

inal roots —sold for over forty years with great satisfaction to all users. Far i Weak Stomach, Biliousness, Liver Complaint, Paia in the Stomach after eating. Heartburn, Bad Breath, Belching of food, Chronic Diarrhea and other Intestinal ! Derangements, the “Discovery” is a time-proven and most efficient remedy.

The genuine has on its outside wrapper the Signature

You can't afford to accept a secret nostrum as a substitute for this non-alco-holic, medicine of known composition, not even though the urgent dealer may j thereby make a little bigger profit. Dr. Pieroe’s Pleasant Pellets regulate and invigorate stomach, liver and | bowels. Sugar-coated, tiny granules, easy to take m candv. rw wßwHilWllil- ' Rayo Lamp is a hi-yh grade lamp, sold at a low prices There are lamps that cost more, but there Is no better lamp made at aay Hr price. Constructed of so’td brass; nickel plated—easily keptclean: aa SM ornament to any room In any house. Tberels nothing ktiown to the art Trre of lamp-making that cun add to tbova-ue of the KAYO Lamp as a lightSTEADY jynWg giving device. Hvery dealer everywhere. If not at yours, wrtta tor descriptive circular to the nearest agency of the STANDARD OIL COMPANY (Incorporated) Do You Want a Home? If you do, let us help you find it Here is what w T e have to suggest: — Along the K. C. S. Railway in Southwest Missouri and Northwest Arkansas there are many idle acres of the mostiertile and productive land in the United States. It is being divided Into 5, 10 and 20 acre farms and sold on easy payments. It to exceptionally well adapted to fruit, truck and poultry raising. Strawberries, apples and poultry are the big money makers, and many men who have located on these lands have made as high as $450.00 per acre. You can do the same. The money ypu are paying for rent will buy you a home. The water, the climate and the general health cciidltlons of the country are ideal. No long, cold winters; no extreme heat in sufnmer; no swamps; no malaria, and no mosquitoes. You can buy these lands at from sls to $25 per acre. Write us for moie detailed Information and your letter will receive careful attention. S. G. WARNER B4T Wr!,e today ' G. P. A., K. C. a. Ry. KANSAS CITY, MO. eBT ' Harness 1 ii fi nurno soft as a « ,ove HARNESS a h a a :iroS Eg 11 Sold by Dealers Everywhere _— STANDARD OIL COMPANT * WFBkXI (laM«»MMbtd) W. L. DOVGL *3.00 »3.50&»4.00 SHOES &°wom!n ife Boys’ Shoes, <2.00. S2.go and sa.oo. Best in thc World. try* The benefits of free hides, if 1 could take you into my WKS. which apply principally to large factories at Brockton, soleleather,andthereduced Ma»»., aud show you how care- pgg* wT tariff Ou sole loalhe>\ now 4? enables me to give tne an j high grade leathers u«e<i, J wearer more value for his you would then understand why money, better and longer Dollar for Dollar I Guarantee J wearing $3, $3.50 and $4 h*y Shoes to hold their ahape, /ik shoes than 1 could give pre- *“<l “t better and wear /mhi I rious to the tariff “virion. I Do you realize that my shoes have been the standard for over 30 .Aiks! years; that I make and sell more $3.00. $3.50 and $4.00 shoes than , B P » any ether manufacturer in the United States ? Quality counts. It has made W. L. Douglas shoes a household word everywhere. * / CAUTION I SSSSS.Ka’&LiaK.TAKE NO SUBSTITUTE

MICA

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AXLE GREASE Keeps the spindle bright an! free from grit. Try a boa, 1 Sold by dealers everywhere. STANDARD OIL CO1 (iaearpomtod)