The Syracuse Journal, Volume 3, Number 23, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 6 October 1910 — Page 7

CAP and BELLS i Hi SEASONABLE TITLE IN SOUTH louthern Gentleman Dubbed "General Humidity” Because of His Extreme Unpleasantness. On the wide veranda of an old jouthern hotel sat the titled gentlemen .with their weekly papers and cooling Hint juleps. “Jeff,” whispered the Chicago man " who had just arrived, “can you tell ne the different titles of those gentlemen?” The old colored hostler grinned. “Yeas, boss. Ah kifi tell po’ ebby >ne ob dem. pat big stout gen’man r wld de empty julep glass am Gineral Tom, sah. De jiddeh gen’man wld de broad grin am Gineral Chesteh, sah. De lean gen’map dat am talkin’ about de wah am Gineral Clay, sah.” The Chicago man was Interested. "Ah, indefed! And who is that crabaedlooking individual sitting in the coraer?” “Him? Lands, boss, he am so disagreeable en s 6 unpleasant en he •naks yo’ so wahm we does call him k Mineral Humidity.” W A Book Lover. old parson was endeavoring to do il, little missionary work behind the big stone walls. I “What brought you here, my son?” he queried of an Inmate. “I am here, sir, because of my fondness for books,”; answered No. 2323. “Indeed!” exclaimed the good man In surprise. “What kind of books, may I ask?” "Pocketbooks,” briefly answered the other. Sameness of Opinion. .“I suppose,” said the young man with the soiled collar and baggy trousers, as he sat down beside a stranger on one of the park benches, “you wouldn’t take me for a member of a millionaire’s family, would you?” "No,” answered the stranger, after ' sizing him up, “frankly speaking, • wouldn’t.” « P "Neither would the millionaire,” n joined the young man, sadly, “I asked him last night.” Tough Luck. “I suppose,” said the kind lady, as she handed the husky hobo a generous wedge of apple pie, “that your lot is L full of hardships?” I "Dat's de proper word fer it, ma’am,” replied the h. h. “In de winter w’en de farmers ain’t doin’ nothin’ but eatin’ apples an’ drinkin’ hard , cider it’s too cold fer me t’ be trampin’ eround; an’ in de summer peeples’ alters offerin’ me work.” IT NEEDED EXERCISE. IWU 4i Mr. Billyuns—My automobile looks Ike it had been subjected to mighty tad treatment. ; Did you have It out vhlle I was away? His Chauffeur —Yis, sor. I—er—er -exercised it a little, sor, ivry day, f *‘‘ A Difficult Position. f "What shall I say if they ask me to g ling?” asked the young man who was going visiting. “It makes no difference what you ■ say when people urge you to sing,” reV plied his candid friend. “If you refuse P they’ll say you are inconsistent, and if ■ you sing they’ll say the same thing.” • The Latest Word. First Fisherman —I always use live butt Why Is it that you affect these patent things Second Fisherman — You are behind the times. I have here a combination ipoon-hook and corkscrew. A Terrible Threat. Immature Conductor (to clarinet player)—See here, Herr Schlag, w’ don’t you follow my beat? Veteran Clarinet (solemnly)—lf ; m’t look owid, I vlll!—Puck.

ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM SHAKY Youth Tells Maiden Why His Hand Trembled, but It Was Not Story She Expected. With quivering fingers he turned the pages of the Chopin Mazourka, while she played dreamily the entrancing i music. | “Did you notice how my hand trembled, Mis Pinkerton?” he asked, when it was all over. I “Yes, Mr. Sparkes,” she admitted, shyly, “I did.” “And can you gues why It trembled?” he breathed into her ear. The white fingers of the sweet Miss Pinkerton strolled lightly over the keys, and then fell limp in her lap as a strawberry-hued suffusion dyed her countenance. “N-no,” she whispered. “Shall I tell you?” he asked. “Yes,” she answered, faintly, “if you like.” « There was a big pause. The youth swallowed audibly. Then his voice, hoarse with an emotion that did him credit, thrilled through the silence. “I’ve had three dances, two theaters, and a garden party this week, and I didn’t get to bed till three o’clock this morning!” RIGHT EPITAPH. Tom —What did they put on Sklnem’s tombstone? Ted—“He Did All He Could.” Went Wrong. Black, angry clouds o’erspread the sky; Klljordan’s lawn was very dry; He sprinkled it with might and main— Yet all the same, it didn’t rain] Cool. She drew back with a gesture of scorn. “You are a cumberer of the earth!” she exclaimed. “Ha, ha!” he laughed. | “How cool you are!” the beautiful -’irl protested, moved to a species c f Imiration in spite of herself. “Oh, yes—sort of a cucumberer ci. he earth, you know,” he retorted.— Puck. No Cause for Alarm. The scene was laid in the far north. “What are those white men doing around here,?' asked the polar bear, anxiously. “Looking for the north pole, I hear,” replied the brown seal. “Oh, is that all,” rejoined the p. b., with a sigh of relief. “I thought perhaps they were seking recruits for some zoological garden.” Os Course Not. “He taught her to swim in half an hour.” j “Yes, and I believe he is going to propose to her, too.” “It won’t do him any good.” “How do you know?” “A girl who will learn to swim that lickly doesn’t care for the man who is teaching her.” The Odor of Home. “Don’t you ever put crude oil on your highways?” she asked the handsome Cook’s courier. “No, madam,” he replied with his highly cultured polyglot accent. She softly sighed. “I guess that’s what makes me homesick,” she murmured. "I do sc miss the smell!” Good Policy. Mrs. Stubb —“Why, John, the lasi family that occupied this house lefi some old jars in the pantry.” I Mr. Stubb —"H’m! Maria, that is t good policy.” Mrs. Stubb —“What Is a good po) .icy?” Mr. Stubb —"Why, when you movt leave your family jars behind you.” Sure Sign. , Burglar—Let’s turn off that housi up there tonight. Pal—Pshaw, no; it don’t look riel nuff. Burglar—Well, they got three autos Pal —Yep;; an’ likely hocked every thing of value in de house to pay fee ’em.—Judge. A Bad Time. "Violets are getting very expensive," complained the young broker. "Never mind. She’s worth it” •T know. But why did I fall in love on a bull market?” Nothing to Knock Down, 'onductor (to policeman)—You fels never pay your fare. No. You can’t get a nickel out of copper,"

His Luckiest Quarter By DOROTHY BLACKMORE (Copyright. 1910, by Associated Literary Press.) Faith Airless stood over the miniature gas stove behind the screen in ler studio. She hummed to herself as she turned over the fast-browning mushrooms In the pan before’her, and kept a watchful eye on the steak broiling so evenly beneath the flame an the other side. Suddenly her song stopped and the gentle sizzling of the juices and the bubbling of the butter stopped with It. The gas had gone. She turned in dismay to her little purse hanging on a chair nearby. It was as she thought —there was not a quarter there for the gas meter. She had nothing but a flve-dollar bill—nothing larger nor smaller. She looked about helplessly, and then he/ eyes fell on the half-cooked food on the tiny table so crowdedly laid for three. It was a gala day for Faith —or It was to have been a gala day! For the first time since she had left her home back in the country town her father and mother were coming to visit her in her studio. They were to arrive in time for dinner, and —now! All at once an idea flashed through her mind. She caught up the dainty dotted swlss apron with its dainty blue bows and ran across the hall, holding it to one side. She felt consious in this sort of domestic apron, whereas she was entirely at home in the big enveloping apron in which she worked at her easel all day. Timidly she shook the antique brass knocker on the door across the hall. “Come In,” called a deep masculine voice. Faith opened th? door and looked about. She could see nothing but the "Could You Change This?" lower extremities of a man beneath a large canvas on an easel. She stood tor a moment, hesitating to enter. “Come in,” called the voice again, then a head peered around the side of the canvas. “Oh, please forgive me,” the young man hastened to say, coming toward Faith. “I thought it was one of the fellows. Do come in,” tie added hospitably. “Oh, I can’t stay a moment, Mr. Melville, I—l’m in such a predicament,” she explained, extending at the same time a flve-dollar bill. “Could you change this?” she asked. If young Guy Melville’s eyes looked large and hungrily at the unfamiliar greenback he tried to conceal it. “I’m afraid I can’t.” He felt in his pockets, searched in all parts of his work Jecket, but could find only a quarter. This he extracted. “I have only a quarter In small change,” he said. “That’s just what I want —what I need,” Faith cried, looking eagerly at the coveted silver bit. “My meter Is out and I have mushrooms and steak on the fire cooking. Mother and father are coming. “Then by all means take this," Melville Insisted,” and let me come to oollect it some other time. No—no,i keep the bill. It would be lonely here,” he laughed. “If It weren’t absolutely necessary that I have it immediately I should not take it,” Faith went on; “but by the time I could get on my things and go out for change the little dinner would be ruined. I must run as it Is. It’s a queer introduction, and I’m afraid you’ll have a bad opinion of me,” she said as she crossed the hall. “Many, many thanks.” Melville, deep In study over the charm of his neighbor, forgot to close his studio door, and when two elderly persons wandered strangley into the great dark hall of the studio building In search of Faith Airless and her room they were sure the open door was hers. They hesitated a moment before entering. Then, held by a voice inside, they stood on the threshhold. “That you, Tommy?” a masculine voice was saying In loud tones, as if talking over a telephone. ‘Sure! It’s Guy. And I want you to blow me to dinner. Haven’t a cent . . . No—no —just loaned my last quarter. . . . Well, I guess I can starve for one night, then. Sorry you have a date. So long, old man. So long.” Then some one bung up a receiver and the two oM nenons looked at each other.

“Must be the wi ong room,” said tlit man. “Oh, here we are,” cried Mrs. Air less, opening the opposite door, on which she hr d discovert-J a tiny brass name plate bearing her daughter’s name. “Here we are and —here is Faith!” “Well, bless your heart, daughter, we’ve found you at last,” said the father, taking Faith in his arms and giving her a generous paternal hug “We mighty near got into the wrong room.” “Yes—the poor young man across the hall was just telephoning to some one that he had just ,given away his last quarter and hadn’t a bite to eat Faith, dearie, I hope you never get that way. I’ve read about this studio life in New York, and of how young artists often go hungry,” the elder woman was saying “Never fear, mother,” said Faith from the stove where she was taking up the now thoroughly cooked repast. But, the joy was gone from her ej es—she had taken the poor man’s last quarter! She did not want to explain, right away, to her mother and father that she had been compelled to: go to a strange man across the hall to borrow a quarter with which to have gas enough to finish cooking the dinner. They might not understand —at first —and It really had not been her Intention to borrow the money. By the time the little meal was on the table the thought weighed so heavily upon her that she. could not sit down to enjoy it. At last she summoned courage to explain the whole matter to her parents and It was with difficulty that she restrained her father from running immediately to the door of Melville to drag him bodily to the table to join them. “It will be far better for me to go,” Faith expostulated. “I cap be tactful. He may feel a delicacy about It.” ‘Yes —let Faith go,” the mothe added. “She’s used to city ways.” This time it was without an apron that Faith knocked at the opposite door. It took her fully ten minutes to persuade the young man to join the little party and eat a portion of the meal he had been influential in saving. But, at last, he was Induced to go, and Faith waited while he changed his studio coat and put a touch or two to his toilet. The merry little party sat about the studio until the logs in the old fireplace had crumpled to ashes and the folks from the country had begun to wonder what the hour might be. When Melville rose to go Faith’s father shook his hand warmly. "I shall leave my little girl a stack of quarters when I go back to Hometown,” he said, “so you needn’t be fraid she’ll be borrowing any more.” “No, indeed, she mustn’t,” Mrs. Airless interjected. “She mustn’t get into the borrowing habit, even If she does live in a studio. Faith blushed and turned towar'’ young Melville. “You see they are in sympathy with you,” she laughed. “If they were,” the young man said, pointedly, “they would never leave you a stack of quarters, for how —in that case —can I ever expect to become acquainted?” “I still have this one to pay back,” Faith reminded him as she stood in the studio door while he unlocked his own. “No” —he held up his hand in remonstrance. “Please don’t mention that. Just let me come to see you and we’ll say I bought my meal with the quarter. B,ut Faith did return the money. She said, afterward, that she always would have felt that he sought her studio so frequently because he hoped to get back his quarter and she preferred to have a better understanding of his intentions. Muscles and the Will. I have frequently noticed that my own endurance on any particular oc casion Is largely determined by my mental attitude. If I say to myself as I start out to take a bicycle ride that I will ride a distance of twelve or fourteen miles, I accomplish the feat and feel just about as tired as I do when I have selected and ridden a journey twice or thrice as long. The crucial thing Is making up the mind to go a certain distance. In other words, my bodily energy is developed and expended in obedience to my will, and my body having done what it was told to do, be the journey long or short, i protests against further exertion after the task is fulfilled. Mr. Roosevelt’s wonderful energy was originally, at least, unquestionably far more a mental than a physical attribute, although, of course, the iron will begets the iron muscles.—Dr. Richard Cole Newton in the Forum. Illegal Train Riding. Tramp train riding is pretty popular, but it leads to the county jail nowadays. The report of the number of persons confined in the Dauphin county prison during the year 1909 has just been made public. It shows tha’ 7,333 persons were committed for va rious offenses, of which number 1,762 served terms for illegal train riding and 335 for trespass. The total expense to the county was $23,355.22. — Philadelphia Record. Timid Man. "But why in the world did your husband select such a high bed?" asked Mrs. Barker in surprise. “Why, it would be so convenient for a burglar to craw] under it" “Oh, no,” laughed Mrs. Barker; “nr husband selected a high bed so t could crawl under It if: he heard burglar."

MORE OCEAN TITANS Germany to Produce a New 50,-000-Ton Steamship. The 45,000-Ton Liners of the White Star Line, Now Being Built, to Be Eclipsed—How the Struggle Goes Forward. Hamburg.—Much is heard today about the race for naval supremacy. But the race is no less keen In the commercial contest and just now most of the great steamship lines are preparing fresh giants for the ocean struggle Here again the rivalry is between the Germans and the Britsh, both being eager to hold the blue ribbon of Atlantic transport, the chief shipping route in all the world. When the Lusitania and Mauretania relegated the German Deutschland to a subordinate place as an ocean flyer the challenge was renewed, and today on both sides of the North sea there Is a strenuous endeavor to create new records in tonnage and speed. The White Star line Is well advanced with the construction of two new monsters, the Olympic and the Titanic, the Ham-burg-American line answers with a still bigger vessel, the Hansa, to the great delight of the kaiser, and now the Cunard line gives hints of plans far beyond anything yet designed. The Boston route must be considered first, because the latest ship to take the water is the Franconia, a new twin-screw vessel of the Cunard fleet, which will be the largest liner that has ever entered Boston harbor. It is 1 just 70 years since the first Cunarder, I the Britania, opened up that route, and ! though the Franconia is far below the Mauretania in speed and tonnage, it demonstrates well enough the ship ping advance that has been made in the span of a single human life. For the Britannia was 207 Ifeet long, Its tonnage was 1,154, speed eight and \ .\ l\. iu\ L i iniwwii.iniWK.ii-n i Showing the Evolution of Steamers. Furst Bismarck, 1890-91; Deutschland 1900; Kaiser Wilhelm 11., 1901; Mauretania, 1907, and the Hansa. one-half knots an hour and the cabins accommodated only 115 passengers Now the Franconia’S length is 625 j feet, its gross tonnage 18,000 tons . displacement 25,000 tons; it can carrj 2,600 passengers and its power is twenty times as great as that of the . Britannia. More than three thousand workmer labored on the liner for 12 months up to the launching at Wallsend-on-Tyne j The sister ship, the Laconia, has jusi been laid down in the same shipyard and will be launched next year. Nexi In point of readiness are the White Star liners, Titanic and Olympic, twe ocean giants under construction al Belfast. Already they are immense in bulk and when they are completed they will be 45,000 tons each, or more than 13,000 tons bigger than the Mauretania. They are each 850 feet long and it is understood they will be fitted with turbine engines. The Mersey dock and harbor board has commenced the construction of a huge new dock at Liverpool, but as it will not be fully completed for three years, it may be guessed that the provision is mainly intended for the still bigger Cunarder, that, report says, will run to 60,000 tons. Definite information is not forthcoming at the Cunard offices on this latest plan, but it is not denied that the news that has come from Germany of the new Ham-burg-American liner Hansa has roused the Cunard directors to a determination to produce something that will lick creation for some years to come. The big German liner Hansa’s tonnage will be almost 50,000, or 18,001) more than the Mauretania and 5,000‘ more than the Titanic. The Hansa, will not, according to present ao l counts, aim at ocean speeding. It will have turbine engines designed to run it at 22 knots an hour, but the cargo nd passenger accommodation will be immense. So carefully is it to be constructed that it will not be in commission before the beginning 1913. Apart from the natural rivalry of two great maritime nations in the American passenger and freight trade there is another Influence on the American side of the Atlantic that has made for shipping developments. Since the Armbose channel and other ; New York harbor Improvements were carried out; shipping men have found the limitations to the dimensions of their vessels removed. The biggest liners they have ever dreamed of can now gain ready access to New York, and the difficulties at present lie more in the harbors of the old world than the 1 ' new.

’SiSßSSfcfliiF Th* Rayo Lamp is a high grade lamp, sold at a low price. There are lamps that cost more, but there i R,no better lamp made at any price. Constructed of solid brass; nickel plated—easily kepldean; aa Be ornament to any room in any house. There is nothing known to the art -. . -W ft. of lamp making that canadd to thevalue of the RAYO Lamp as a llghtSTEAUr giving device. Every dealer everywhere. If not at yours, writs tar aeacnptiye circular to the nearest agency of the STANDARD OIL COMPANY Gncomorated)

The Effects. “I have come to you, my friend, for eomfort My best girl has treated me very badly. I was trying to explain something to her, but she gave me such sharp looks they cut me to the heart; she withered me with her scorn, crushed me with her coldness and stabbed me with her keen edged tongue.” “See here, man, you oughtn’t to come to me for comfort; what you need Is to go to a hospital for treatment” USED HYPODERMICS. Only Relief From Terrible Suffering. Thomas E. Vest, 1505 S. 12th St, Terre Haute, Ind., says: “I had no control over the urine and the pain when voiding it was so great I often

screamed. I grew worse and lay in bed for weeks, the only relief being from hypodermics. I was treated by three physicians without help and the last one said a n operation was necessary. At this

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time I began using Doan’s Kidney Pills and passed a gravel stone as a pea. The next day I passed two more and from then on Improved rapidly until cured." Remember the name—Doan’s. For sale by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn CO4 Buffalo, N. Y. Puzzled by Wireless. “Mistah Jenkins,” asked an old negro of Atlanta of his employer, “would yo’ be so good, sah, as to explain to me ’bout this wireless telegraph business I hears ’em-a-talking ’bout?” z “Why, certainly, Henry,” responded the employer, “though I can do so only In a general way, as I myself know little of the subject. The thing consists in sending messages through the air instead of over vHres.” “Yassah,” said Henry, “I knows ’bout dat; but, sah, what beats me is 'bow dey fasten the air to the poles!” NO HEALTHY SKIN LEFT “My little son, a boy of five, broke ! out with an itching rash. Three doctors prescribed for him, but he kept getting worse until we could not dress him any more. They finally advised > me to try a certain medical college, but its treatment did no good. At the time I was induced to try Cuticura he was so bad that I had to cut his hair off and put the Cuticura Ointment on him on bandages, as it was impossible to touch him with the bare ' hand. There was not one square inch [ of skin on his whole body that was not affected. He was one mass of sores. The bandages used to stick to his skin and in removing them it used 1 to take the skin off with them, and 1 the screams from the poor child were heartbreaking. I began to think that he would never get well, but after the second application of Cuticura Ointment I began to see signs of improvement, and with the third and fourth applications the sores commenced to dry up. His skin peeled off twenty times, but it finally yielded to the treatment. Now I can say that he is entirely cured, and a stronger and healthier boy you never saw than he is to-day, twelve years or more since the cure was effected. Robert Wattam. 1148 Forty-eighth St, Chicago, 111., Oct 9, 1909.” j Already In Training. Ruffon Wratz —W’en a woman hands out a slab o’ lemon pie you make a long speech o’ thanks. Wot’s that fur? Saymold Storey—l’m flttin’ myself fur the Chawtauquay lectur* platform. I thought I told ye ’bout It long ’go. Important to Mothers Examine carefully every bottle of CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for infants and children, and see that it

Bears the Signature ofi

In Use For Over 30 Years. The Kind You Have Always Bought His Finish. She—They say her husband waa driven to his grave. He—Well, he couldn’t very well walk. If Your Eyes Bother You get a box of PETTIT’S EYE SALVE, old reliable, most successful eye remedy made. All druggists or Howard Bros., Buffalo, N.Y. Too much stategy can tangle itself more than it can fool others. Mrs. Wtnstow»s Sootbln* Byron. Most politicians claim the tdleßt vote so long as It kreps silent

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Many reformers would go out to shoot gophers with a brass band. If you wish beautiful, clear, white clothes use Red Cross Ball Blue. Large 2 a*, package, 5 cents. Truth is a structure reared on the battlefield of contending forces.—Dr. Winchell. SPOHNS DISTEMPER CURE will cure any possible • case of DISTEMPER, PINK EYE, and the like among horses of all ages, and prevents all others in the same stable from having the disease. A lie cures chicken cholera, and dog distemper. Any good druggist can supply you, or send to mfrs. 50 cents and SI.OO a bottle. Agents wanted. Free book. Spohn-Medical Co w ' Spec. Contagious Diseases. Goshen, Ind. No Friend of His. "Is Mrs. Gaussip a friend of yours F* “No; she’s a friend of my wife’s." “Isn’t that the same thing?" “Not at all. She feels very sorry for my wife.” , The When you see silverware scratched and tarnished with black stains and streaks in the interstices of the oraamental patterns, that is dirt, left there by common, cheap rosin soaps. It la better to use a soap that is antiseptlo as well as a perfect cleansing agent. “Easy Task Soap,” the hard, white laundry soap, will clean your silverware surely and quickly. It will get out the dirt the other soaps have left. Your grocer will sell you two cakes for ten cents, and if it doesn’t satisfy yon the makers will give back your dime. The GuHty Party. Cook (to her young man) —Here, take the rest of the roast duck. (Sighing) Poor pussy! Young Man —What has the cat got to do with it? Cook —Well, she’s be blamed for it tomorrow. —Fliegende Blatter.

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AXLE GREASE Keeps the spindle bright and free from grit. Try a box. Sold by dealers everywhere. iSTANDAND OIL CO. 1 (KeorporaJ**)