The Syracuse Journal, Volume 1, Number 22, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 24 September 1908 — Page 2

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“Major, how did you. feel the first time you were under fire?” I inquired of Past Commander Case of Detroit Post, a few years ago. while sitting in his snug quarters in the water office, in company with several war-worn veterans who had dropped in for a ehat. “Well," said he, “that is a question that is hard to answer. I did feel, though, that there were other places in which I’d rather be.” “By the way, major, you must have seen some hot times during your period of service. Tell me of a battle where bullets flew thick and deeds of heroism were performed." “Oh, colonel, those things have been told so often and by better men than I that my story might not be worth the telling.” “Never mind that,” said I. “Everyone has a different way of narrating his experiences, and no two men in the same regiment will give the same account of a fight.” ‘“That is true, colonel, and if you cart? to listen I will give you the particulars of a fight which occurred in April, 1865.” “Just imagine a comparatively flat country, broken up somewhat by ravines, which were, possibly, ages ago, beds of streams which cutting . their way into the earth to a depth of ten or fifteen feet, left the surface of the ground seamed with wrinkles, as age makes its mark in the human face. Well, there lay the Union and Confederate armies close together on * that pleasant April day forty odd years ago, stretched along in parallel lines, for miles, locked in a close embrace, as it were, and each struggling for the mastery. Hidden behind massive breast-’ works. Union and Confederate, so close that the men on the outer picket lines could easily converse with each other; with the continued rattling of musket- ; ry, the hiss of bullets, the booming of cannon and bursting of shells constantly around, over and into us, we had remained for months with scarcely any perceptible change in the situation. The places where we lived and slept were '; bomb-proof—holes dug in the ground i like cellars for houses, with logs laid across ,and earth piled thereon to the ; depth of several feet. In these holes we spent our time, a fall of rain leaving for days afterwards the steady drip, drip of water that slowly percolated through the roof, making our dreams of home in the North sweeter, as the drops fell on our uncovered heads or trickled down our spinal columns. The bomb-proof that 1 called inj- home was occupied by the adjutant, another officer and myself and here we passed the time as best we could. f “Well, one night about 10 o'clock an aide from brigade headquarters came down the rude stairway of our cabin, with orders which he delivered to the adjutant. if* “ ’Be . prepared to move at 2 o’clock in the morning, in light marching order, one day's rations and no knapsacks.’ That was all —‘be prepared toj move.’ And well we knew that to some of us It meant 'be. prepared to die.’ After giving instructions to our orderly .sergeant we sat down to write some letters to those at home and arranged our papers for final settlement with the government. “At 2 o’clock the men fell into line, silent and oppressed by the thought of the near approach of some indefinite, intangible calamity. ‘Forward !’ and slowly and In perfect order, through an opening in our breastworks, and following the dugway that led to the outer picket line, the' regiment marched on. Then we knew whit was coming. Then we knew that acrdss the narrod- space which separated opr line from the eue,nay’s, bristling with eheval de frise and abatis, we would 'be ordered to charge theworks which the federal army had for months been hammering unsuccessfully with shot and shell. Further to the left troops had been massed and a desperate attempt was to be made to carry the Confederate works at that point. And what wore we to do? Just Charge—that was all. Selected with two other regiments to create a diversion. to lead the enemy to believe an assault was to be made here—only to be sacrificed, that seemed our fate. Onr colonel was - dissatisfied with the order to TSfmpty charge and insisted upon more definite instructions. The aide, with a peculiar smile, said: “Colonel, you are to charge the Confederate works, .capture all within the length of your regimental front and hold you if position until driven out or relieved.', ‘All right.’ replied the colonel, and turning to his men fie said: ‘Boys, we’ll do it.’ “Soon after this came.the command uttered in a low tone of voice, .‘for- * ward.' Every man was instructed to make as little noise as possible, lest we should draw* the enemy’s fire before we were upon them. Pressing steadily forward. we reached the line of eheval de frise. which resembled somewhat an old- fashioned hay rake wired together end to eld. Behind this lay the Confederate picket line, which, as we advanced, fired and ran back to their main line, yelling as they went, ‘the Yanks are coming! the Yanks are coming’’ The obstruction we met was soon torn apart, and rushing forward to the

edge of the ravine that lay between the works received a withering storm of grape and canister, which severely, (wounded our colonel and laid low several officers and men. Staggered but not repulsed, we rushed down the bank and across the bottom, up the other side and to the top, back from which about fifty feet lay the enemy’s main works. As our column came into view another fierce fire was poured into our ranks, which literally swept us off our feet and sent us reeling to the bottom of the ravine, leaving several of our poor fellows dead behind us. Rallying at the bottom, we crossed the ravine at a run and only halted when the opi>oslte side was .reached. Here we were below the range of the enemy, the bullets and shells singing war music Just above our heads. Here we had a breathing spell and counted noses. Three officers and about seventy-five men were all that were left, all that came out of that hell of powder, lead and iron the remainder being either killed, wounded or missing. I never knew their fate. “At this time the sergeant of another company, whose name I never knew, started to cross the ravine, saying .he ■was going into. the enemy’s works, if he had to go alone, because our colonel had boasted to the aide before we made the first charge that his regiment would carry out the orders to capture the Confederate works if a man was left alive to do it. ‘Hold on, sergeant,’ said I to him, ‘and’ we will all go with you.’ The only other captain besides myself who came out of that storm of shot and shell alive outranked me and assumed command of the shattered regiment, and we moved toward the enemy. Slowly and in perfect order we climbed the opposite bank, reached the top, where after a short breathing spell, we sprang forward with a Michigan yell, charged like a whirlwind into the Confederate defenses, over them and in among the astonished ‘Johnnies,’ who only had time to send one volley into otfr ranks as we rushed forward. It was quick and. admirable work, and after a short resistance with ■ clubbed- muskets the 'Confederates threw down their arms and surrendered. Wq quickly sent them over the breastworks under guard to our main line, the prisoners actually numbering more men than we had in line. “Shortly after this the captain com- , manding our company—one of the bravest men. I ever knew—was seriously wounded in the arm, and the command devolved upon myself. I sent two men with the wounded cajptain to the rear, and then carefully examined the situation. We had captured a portion of the works, perhaps about 200 feet, lying between a river that ran through both lines of defense and a flanker. Oh the opposite side of this flanker and across the river were the Confederates,' who poured into us an enfilading fire whenever they ventured to raise their heads above the breastworks, which generally resulted seriously to themselves. Twice the Confederates endeavored to .recapture what they had lost, but each attack was blodiiy repulsed. Once a line of Johnnies, shielded by decoys, who begged, us not to fire as they desired to surrender, nearly reached the earthworks behind which we lay. ‘Captain,’ cried one of my men, *there are some Confeds, with guns behind them out there,’ I sprang upon the works, il shining mark for the enemy in front, and took in the 'situation at a glance. Leaping down, without injury, I ordered my men to pour in a volley on the men who wanteq to ‘surrender,’ and the fifty muskets left' in the company seemed to speak with one voice. When the smoke cleared away nothing was to be seen of the Confederates. They had vanished as silently as they had approached. The stubborn resistance made by our tittle force did not suit the enemy at all. and the next attack was, overwhelmingly irresistible—forced us to leave, our position and make a break for the rear. Some of the men didn't seem to care to run, for you know, colonel; that getting back under fire is as dangerous as making a charge, and some of the boys apparently preferred remaining, where they were and being captured than to take the risk of getting a bullet in the back. . “An affecting Incident occurred white we Were in the works captured from the Confederates, As I passed down the line giving Instructions to the men I came to our color-bearer, Sergt. William F. Wixey, who stood erect holding aloft the flag which It had but recently- become his duty to carry, and who had performed that duty most fearlesslly and bravely. I said to him: ‘Sergeant, I guess you may take the flag back to our breastworks.’ ‘Don’t do that, captain: for God’s sake, don't do that.’ the tears streaming down his cheeks; ‘let me stay with the boys.’ ‘No, sergeant,’ I replied, ‘we have lost two stands of colors already during this cruel war. We are now in a tight place, and I am afraid It means death or capture for us all. You must go. sergeant.’ ' Crying like a little child he crawled over the earthworks afid was gone. We fought tile remainder of that battle without a flag. The name of the wounded captain I have alluded to, which I ascertained at a later date, was James S. Deland, of Jackson, Mich.” “What was the name of this regiment. am? where did the fight take place?” I inquired when the major had Concluded his story. “The name of the regiment,” said the major, “vy.is the First Michigan Sharpshooters, and the time and place you have just read.”—“Colonel C.,” in Detroit Free Press. It has been estimated that less exertion is necessary to ride fifteen miles on a bicycle than to walk three mile®.

THE BUILDINGS AND THE MAN. Within the twilight mist I stand, beneath The vast, sky-yearning towers, stern and proud— Dark giants striking ’gainst a rose-leaf cloud Within the new-born West. I fear to breathe, For Primal Streng'th they seem —eternal, grim, ‘ Inexorable, near godlike; but my heart Sings to my life: “Weak trembler, know thou art More strong and glorious than these specters dim; “For they are born from thy unsprlnging soul ; ' Thou art the maker, they the willing clay. O brother to the stars and sweet, pure day-— | , These are brief fragments; thou the deathless whole.” —Success Magazine; ;.

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Pamfleld village school stands in the angle formed by the junction of a byroad and the main London road. The playground around it runs right into the nose of the angle, and here at certain times during the day the school children are supposed to play. In point of fact, however, they generally leave the playground if they get half a chance, and swarm over the road. This is in order that they may play the popular game of seeing who will be the last to get out of the way of passing motors. Many a time chauffeurs jammed on their brakes hurriedly, for the main road curves just before it comes to the school, and muttered curses on the head of some more adventurous boy or girl. Now it came to pass one warm morning in July that Sir Richard Graythorpe in his car was passing through Pamfleld. He ran round the curve before the school at a fair speed, to find a few yards ahead a horde of school children: “Confound ’em!” Sir Richard muttered, slowing up as quickly as possible. Then he suddenly jammed the brakes on hard and pulled up with a jerk/ one of the front tires brushing against a small girl who was determined to win glory or die in the attempt. The tire merely touched the girl, but it furnished sufficient excuse for her to collapse and compete with Sir Richard’s siren at its worst. “Umph!” remarked Sir Richard, gazing helplessly at the child. “What did she do that for, I wonder? Jove!” The exclamation was forced from his lips by the sight of a girl who had suddenly emerged from the school. “Like one of those what-d’you-call-’ems in what-d’ou-call-it cathedral.” he muttered. 1 The girl was tall and slender, afld in the sunlight her hair shone like burnished copper. Her eyes were dark blue, with soft, velvety depths. Now. however, they glittered with righteous wrath as she bore down on the motorist. “Good morning!” said Sir Richard, raising his cap. “There’s —er—a little girl crying here. Thinks I hqrt her with the car, you know.” “He knocked her over, teacher; we saw him !*’ yelled the children. Feeling that an attempt was being made to outrival her, the small girl screamed at the top of her voice. “Poor little Mary !” cried the schoolmistress. running forward with an easy grace and taking the child in her arms. “Don’t worry; she is not hurt. The car did not even knock her down,” pro tested Sir Richard; "it was only the tire just brushed against her what-d’you-call-it.” ■ He Indicated the small girl's • pinafore. The Schoolmistress turned on him frankly. “You ought not to be allowed to have a car until you have learned to drive ft!” she flashed. “Oh, I say, that's too bad!” cried Sir Richard. “Come to that, you know, you ought not to let these youngsters stray; they ought to be chained up, you know, like those what-d’you-caU-'m prisoners at what-d’you-call-it.”--“Very lucid,” snapped Miss Ferroncourt, for such was the name of the schoolmistress. “I don’t believe you’ve got a license for being a competent driver.” Sir Richard smiled, for be had been placed high in the Gordon-Bennett race. “Look,” he said, “the kiddy’s quite all right now.” Then before the school mistress could protest Sir Richard had taken the youngster from her and was making inane remarks. The small girl seemed immediately diverted. however, and when Sir Richard showed her how to work the siren she crowed with joy. The final conquest consisted of a handful of coppers. On the following morning Miss Ferroneourt was instructing her class in the intricacies of the multiplication table, -when suddenly they heard the continuous hooting of a motor ear horn. At first it was faint, but slowly it grew’ louder and louder, until the mournful scream issued through the school windows from directly outside. Thenceforward for the rest of the w-eek she heard Sir Richard’s car lustily hoot in prolonged agony as it passed by the school at the same hour each morning. “I hate him!” she said to herself, end some of her hate went into the

cane, much to her erring pupil’s annoyance. ■ | On the Monday in the following week she heard the hooting of the car, not so prolonged this time, and a few moments afterward the school door opened and Rev. Arthur Ingram, M. A., entered, accompanied by Sir Richard Graythorpe. . “Good morning. Miss Ferrpncourt!” he said. “I have come to pay a duty visit. Permit me to introduce Sir Richard Graythorpe.” “I think we have met before,” said Sir Richard, smiling at her as he spoke. He extended his hand, but she an>arently did not see it, and replied in distant tones: . “Good morning!” But she could not help noticing how attractive he looked w-hen he smiled. Against her will, she had to acknowledge what a fine figure of manhood he was. She was tall, but he was a head taller, and she alw’ays admired big men. **sir. Ingram tells me that you are a daughter of Ferrencourt of Balllol,’’ Sir Richard said. “That is so,” the girl replied proudly, her eyes shining, as they always did whenever her father’s name was mentioned. They still spoke of Ferrencourt of Balllol at Oxford. He was easily the most brilliant* scholar that the college had ever produced. , “My father was at Balliol with him,” Sir Richard said softly, “and I have often heard him speak of Mr. Ferroncourt. He used to say that your father was the finest man he had ever met,” Though he did not know it, Sir Richard was taking the best possible way of ingratiating himself with Margaret. “I brought this along with me, thinking you might like to see it,” he saidFrom his pocket he took a photograph of a dozen men, amongst whom were Mr. Ferrencourt and Sir John Graythorpe, Sir Richard’s father. “It was taken about six years ago,”’ he said, “when a few old university men met at a dinner.” The girl’s eyes glistened as she gazed at the photograph. “Thank you very much for bringing it,” she said softly. “It is so nice to see his dear face again. I have not got a photograph ;of him; all I had were destroyed in a fire.” She gazed longingly again at the loved face, and then handed it back to Sir Richard. "I hope I have not annoyed you by sounding that beastly siren so often?” he said presently, seizing a favorable opportunity. “Fact is. I’m like a mischievous boy sometimes, and, for the life of me I could not resist sounding the what-d’you-call-it as I' passed the school.” “It did annoy me,” Margaret replied, her face flushing. “It was rather silly of me to let it do so, but I could not help it. That little girl was not hurt at all; it was my fault for allowing the children to stray about the read. I have since forbidden it. But I want you to forgive me for being so rude to you,” she went on hurriedly. Three days passed by, and on the fourth morning a man came to the school with a package addressed to Margaret. “There’s no reply, miss,” he said, touching his cap and walking away. When Margaret opened the package she found within it a splendid enlargement of her father’s photo, skillfully extracted from the group. With it was the following note: “Graythori>e Hall. July' 20, 190—. “Dear Miss Ferrencourt: Will you please accept the enclosed? I am rather keep on photography, and this has given me a chance of doing something a little way out of the ordinary run. It has been very interesting to me, and I trust you will be as pleased over the result.as I was. - “Sincerely yours, “RICHARD GRAYTHORPE.” Margaret’s eyes brimmed with tears as she gazed on the photograph. It was a sple'hdid reproduction, and it was what she had wanted so very much. “How kind and thoughtful of him,”, she said to herself, “and how nicely he has put it, as thmigh it wgs a kindness on my part not on his!” She sat down and wrote an impulsive little note of thanks to Sir She little thought what the tiny scented note meant to him; she did not dream that he pressed* it to bis Ups or

read It on an average once every two njinute£ After this Sir Richard seemed always to be traversing the road through Uainfield past the school. He no longer lilayed overtures on his siren, but he vyould cause it to hoot twice, and this would bring Margaret to the window, She would wave her hand—he would raise his cap and speed on. Gradually the knowledge came to her that she looktxl eagerly for the coming bf Sir Richard. She found that she had got into the habit of confiding in him and asking his advice in many tnatters. I She knew that the people in the village gossiped about Sir Richard and herself; and that they K remarked that “that there gur-rl down at the school be a-earryin’ on summat shockin’ wi’ Sir Richard Graythorpe. But she was content to let them gossip. What they said or thought had no effect on her. Sir Richard, however, saw matters in a different light. A kind friend came and advised him to put an end to this flirtation with the schoolmistress. She—the kind friendpointed out the difference in the social positions, and said that, of course, that sort of thing was only idle amusement. This same kind friend, by the way, had a marriageable daughter, and both mother and daughter had their opinions as to Sir Richard’s future. The dear good lady; however, went away somewhat nonplused, and Sir Richard remarked after’she had gone that he hoped he had not been “too deucedly what-d’you-call-it.” This interview set Sir Richard thinking. Being essentially a man of action, he was not long content with mere thoughts. A ' One morning a few weeks afterwards Margaret heard the familiar “Honk! Honk!” just as she was putting on her hat after the children had gone home to dinner. She ran out to the gate with a smile of welcome. “I say, Miss Ferrencourt,” cried Sir Richard, “come for a little spin.” “Rather!" she responded gleefully,” springing lightly up beside him. “I’ve got permission to take you over an awfully charming church near here,” Sir Richard said. ‘“You're keen on architecture, aren’t you?” The girl nodded. “Here’s the permission,” he said, handing her A paper. Margaret took it and read it through. Her hands trembled slightly, her face flushed, and her eyes had a faraway look in them. “Well, Margaret?” Sir Richard asked, bending close to her. “I’ll come—Dick.” she replied softly Half an hour later they were married by special license. "I wonder what Mrs. What-d’you-call-her will say.” Sir Richard remarked a few hours later as he sat beside his wife In a first-class reserved compartment of the continental express.— E. Newton Bungey in Pearson’s Weekly ’ ' ANIMALS AMBIDEXTROUS. Why Man Gives Preference to Rifcht Hand Over Left. Right handedness and right eyedness came with genus homo. Dr. George M. Gould has watched for them In squirrels that use their front paws to hold nuts, cats that strike at insects in the air or play with wounded mice and in many other animals, but he is certain no preference is given to the right side over the left. But in the lowest human savages all over the world choice in greater expertness of one hand is. clearly present. One cause for its development ip- in primitive military customs. In all tribes and countries since man used implements of offense and defense the left .side, where the heart lies, has Iren protected by the shield, and the left hand was called the shield hand, while the right hand was called the spear hand. Next to fighting came commerce. .The fundamental condition of bartering was counting with the low number, one to ten. The fingers of the free or right hand were naturally first used, and all fingers to-day are called digits, as are the figures themselves, while the basis of our numbering is the decimal or ten fingered system. Every drill and action of the soldier from ancient Greece to modern America te right Sided in every detail. Firing from the right shoulder and sighting with the right eye bring the right eye Into prominence, ■ Church Sticks. The “church stick," which from about 1650 down to 1725 was so common aa article of church furniture, was a stave about four feet long and about an inch thick, to one end of Which, in some cases, was fitted a rabbit's foot, while from the other ond hung a rabbit’s tail, the former to give a rap to unruly boys and sleeping men, the latter to tickle into wakefulness .he dozing sitters. A Lucid interval. your .husband had any Icicid intervals since I was here last? “Well, this morning he kept shouting that you were an old fool, and he tried to break the medicine bottles.”— Life- ' Her Way. “Something must be wrong with my method, it is taking lier a long time to learn to swim.” “She’s slow; it took me all of last season to teach her.”—Houston Post. When a girl dislikes another girl, she always says of her, “She Is just crazy to get married.” People like a good baby better than a pretty ona.

• “Maud is a decided blonde. Isn’t she?” “Yes. but she only decided, last week.”—Town Topics. “Wunst I got a dollar a word.” *G’wan!” “Fact. Fer talking back to i judge/’—Milwaukee Sentinel. He—She is such a charmingly innocent girl, isn’t she? She—Oh, y>es; she has taken years to acquire -it. —The Tatler. “Doctor, if this operation is successful I’ll pay you double.” “I shall be entirely satisfied with my regular fee.” —Smart Set. . Ashley—Do you have much variety in your boarding house? SeymourWell, we have three different names for the meals.—The World. “What did father say when you asked him for me?” “He didn’t say anything. He fell on my neck and wept.”—-Chicago Record-Herald. Mistress—Did the mustard plaster do you any good, Bridget? Maid —-Yes; but, begorry, mum, ut. do bite the tongue!—Philadelphia Inquirer. "Waiter, get me a newspaper so I can hide my yawns; this concert is so stupid.” “Yes. miss; I’ll bring the largest I can find.”—Fliegende Blatter. , “Have you ever loved and lost?” sighed the swain. “Nope,” responded the maiden, promptly. “I've won every breach of premise suit I ever brought.” —Cleveland Leader. Ella —I'm to be married to-morrow, and I’m terribly nervous. Stella—Yes; I suppose there always is a chance of the man getting away up to the last minute. —Philadelphia Inquirer. Howard —Why did he marry her at all if he were going to get a divorce so speedily? Coward—Because he didn’t think it would be honorable to\ireak their engagement.—Pioneer Press! Guest (in cheap restaurant) —See here, waiter, I thought I told you to bring me a strong cup of coffee. Waiter—Well, wot's de matter wid dat cup? Youse couldn’t break it wid a ax.” Niece—Uncle, they say that there are’ more marriages of blondes than of brunettes. Why is it, I wonder? Uncle Singleton (a confirmed bachelor) — H'm! Naturally, the light beaded ones go first. Villager (to motorist whose machine has struck a fence and thrown him forty feet into the . yard)—Did you have an accident? Motorist (picking himself up)—Bless you, no; that’s the way I always stop. “But.” said the fair maid, “you seem rather young to be wearing the title of colonel.” “Anyway,” replied the beardless youth. “I’ve. participated, in seventeen summer engagements.”— Cleveland Daily News; The Parson —I intend to pray that you may forgive Casey for throwing that brick at you. The Patient —Mebbe yer riv’rence ’ud be saving toime if ye’d just wait till 01 get well, and then pray for Casey.—Slcq>er's. “I’ve got you down for a couple tickets. We're getting up a rattle for a poor mau of our neigh——” “None for me. thank you. I wouldn't know what to do with a poor man if I won him.”—Philadelphia Press. “When will yoifr heart .soften toward me enough to let me marry your daughter?” "I- don't think with my heart, but with my. brains." “Then tell mo. please, when can I expect you to get softening of the brain?" Mrs. Stubb—lt states in this magazine, John, that the shortest men on earth are the Laplanders. Mr. Stubb— H’m! They couldn’t be aqy shorter than an American man after his- summer vacation. —Chicago Daily News. "Yes.” remarked the race horse, “all my achievements have been dud simply to putting my best foot forward.” "Yes?” replied the mule. "Now. I find that I accomplish most by putting my best foot backward.” — Philadelphia Press. Elevator Boy—Elevator going up.. Deaf Old Lady—Which way is it going, bub? Elevator Boy t impatiently’» —Up! Up! Up! Up! Deaf Old Lady (indignantly)—You talk to me. bub, as if you thought I was a trained dog. Towne—l never saw a man who was so fond of entertaining as Henpeek is. It’s really reniarkable. Browne—Oh. that’s not so strange. You see. his wife is quite pleasant to him when there’s company in the house.—. Philadelphia Press. “Augusta," said Mr. Wyss when the quarrel was at its height, "you have devised a great variety of ways to call me a fool.” "Merely a matter of necessity," replietl Mrs. Wyjss. "You have devised so- many ways of being one.”— The Bohemian. Brown—l say, can you tell me who 4 was the greatest financier that ever lived? Jones—‘No. I can't. Brown —Well, it was Noah. Jones—How do you make that out? Brown—Well, Ndaji was able to float a company when the whole world was in liquidation. See? 1 Mr. Cad —Can 1 see that burglar who was arrested for breaking into my house last night? Inspector (hesitatingly)—Well, I don't know. What do ' you want to see him for? Mr. Cad—Ob, • there's nothing secret about it. I just wanted to find out how he managed tq get into the house without waging my wlte.—lllustrated Bits.

A Mualcal Spldar. iMM The extraordinary musical sensitive ness of spiders has seve'al times been proved. Every one has heard of Pellisson’s spider. Consoler of the unfortunate prisoner, it perished because it listened too closely to the captive s vie- F lin. The jailer saw it and crushed it brutally. Gretry. the coini>oser, speaks of a fsivorite spider which descended along its thread upon his piano as soon as he played it. When giving recitals at Brussels Rubinstein saw a large spider issue from the floor of the platform and listen to the music. He gave three concerts at the same hall, and ( on each occasion the spider appeared. —Paris Revue. ONE KIDNEY GONE. But Cured After Doctors Said Thers Was No Hoije. Sylvanus O. Verrlll. Milford, Me., says: “Five years ago a bad injury

paralyzed me and affected my kidneys. My back hurt me terribly, and the urine , was badly disordered. Doctors said my right kidney was practically dead. They . g said I could never walk again. I read

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of Doaujs Kidney Pills and began using them. One box made me stronger and freer from pain. I kept oh using them and in three months was able to get out on crutches, and the kidneys were acting better. I Improved‘rapidly, discarded the crutches and to the wonder of Uy friends was soon completely cured.” Sold by alldealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. Plagiarism. “I heard Crittick remark that some of the passages in your comedy were worthy of Congreve,” said | the playwright's friend. “My!” exclaimed the playwright. “That’s too bad!” “Why. that means a compliment ” "It doesn't. It means that he’s on to me.” —Philadelphia Press. Good Housekeepers t'se the Best. That’s why they use Red Cross Ball Blue, t ;At leading grocers, 5 cents. Symmetry. 6 The smoker who sat directly opposits had put his foot on the edge of the seat occupied by the professor. It was encased in one of those easy going, hygienic shoes that look like a canvas covered ham. 6 "My friend,” said the professor, eying it disapprovingly, “oblige me. by removing that thing from my seat. It's bad form ’’ —Chicago Tribune. Mrs. Wlu>iu.- suviUiu. syrap tor Chtldren teething; softens the gums, reduces inflammation, allays pain, c urea wind colic. 26 cents a bottle. A Golf Story. | L. C. Hull, the young American who fl won nearly all the important jevents in ■ the Freshmau sports at Oxford Uni- ™ versity, is good at evei’y game but golf. At Shinnecock Hills, one afternoon; a New York athlete saw Mr. Hill retiring towards the dressing rooms disconsolately. ’ “How many holes have you played?” 1 the New Yorker asked. "Only three or four,” said Mr. Hull. * “Only three or four in two hours?” ; cried the New Yorker. ■■We’.!." explained Mr. Hull, "it takes rae so iong t» put the turf back.” ’

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WAND BEHAPPY