The Syracuse Journal, Volume 1, Number 17, Syracuse, Kosciusko County, 20 August 1908 — Page 3

|r| he VX Zhited Qepulchre vJL The VV. Tale of Pelee By Will L evington Comfort Copyright, 1906; by Win Levington Comfort Copyright, IW7, by J. B. Lippcmcott Compant. AU rights reserved

CHAPTER Vll.—(Continued.) “I guess that’s right, too. So you had to lock up Stembridge?” “Yes, I.found it advisable one day after he had tried to steal the ship—while I was ashore in San Juan,” Constable explained ingeniously. “I’m glad you came, because it will save me from taking him back. That is, unless you decide B that I’ll have to go back, too. I did play pretty rough with you, but your man had me going strong about that time. You’ve got to acknowledge that he’s an artist. Let’s get out of this. What do you plan to do?” “Go out and get Stembridge, and settle with you.” JfrXsThe word ‘settle’ usually refers to ■''‘ijfcars up in the States,” Constable said delicately.. “It doesn’t pay to buck the detective bureau, Constable, and I’m—authorized • to take cash for yodr part—this time.” “How much?” .“Five thousand dollars and expenses.” “It costs money to keep you off one’s ■hip.” “I’m Crusoe of the detective bureau, and I usually go where I please,” was the dulcet answer. *’ “I’ll have to go out to the ship .to get so much money,” Constable declared resignedly. . ' i “I’ll have to go out to the ship to get Stembridge,” said Crusoe. “We’ll go together.” -- v i “Where are your men?” “I’m working alone this trip.” “You can pick up a couple of gendarmes to help you, if you think you’ll need help,” Constable suggested. This was the galvanic instant. Crusoe glanced at him keenly. He had been able to pick no flaw in the moment’s talk. . He was a shrewd man in his line and schooled, but Constable had rung true. There is no inclination on the part of the public at large to concede brilliance of acumen to the heirs of millM ions, unless the sparkling quality has been exposed in a strong light. The suggestion concerning the gendarmes, and a last glance into the face of the young man, vanquished Crusoe’s final dtftibt. “I can handle Stembridge very tidily, having your moral support,” he declared. “He’stoo old a bird to resist arrest when he’s /once cornered.” “Just as you say,” Constable said . swiftly. “Turn your rig about and folMy launch is ahead, at the Landing.” ■HHHBvus nut until the other was behind, back of his own carriage shuttlle Constable rwtaz.'il lost bis headache, and was drwwh- ? perspiration. It was now eight. ladies had agreed to be ready at nine, ■ In case Uncle Joey had returned with B the mail by that time. His several err rands must wait. The present matter >uld take the entire time, and must be done decently and in order. The driver was commanded to make good speed to the launch, which was in readiness. Crusoe dismissed his ria; .Constable bade his 'lidriver wait, and the two men boarded. “Make her buzz, Ernst,” the owner said to the sailor in charge. “I’m expiring for a drink arid a mouthful of clean air.”' Crusoe was deeply interested in the present manifestation of Martinique’s climate, and was not readily diverted to- the subject which challenged his companion. Once launched, however, upon the dealings of Nicholas Stembridge, alias Hayden Breen, he became fluent, and Constable learned that his guest was “the Rajah’s Diamond” among the 'swindlers of civilization. Stembridge, according to Crusoe, had Started a Central American revolution in , order to seize a range of rich silver hills; had made good, worked the mines, and sold them, a year later, “salted to s a brine,” to a syndicate of New York capitalists. He had. engineered the Yar-mouth-Leams oil syndicate which disordered London financiers for a day. Os these and other interesting engagements Constable learned as the launch sped across the fouled harbor. “What does this prince of manipulators do with all his mpney?” he asked finally. •] 1 “Well, you see,” Crusoe replied, “he has his army to pay, and he must pay tmen pretty well, for the rumor is ■ abroad that they would go on the cross ■I for him. And then he is a golden glory K of a-spendthrift. I’ve heard that Paris F looks for his second coming as for a Mes- | siah, since he has promised the Tender- ( loin a punch from the Milky Way. •♦ ♦ Here we are. Perhaps you don’t think I was pleased to see your craft lying here ' this morning when I came in on the PanI ther?” | “I presume, you were,” Constable reI*. plied idly. They were on the ship’s ladder, Crusoe walking ahead. The sailor above, on the main deck of the Madame, caught a L -strange gesture from Constable’s hand, | and a stranger expression from the eye r of his owner. The sailor did-not understand exactly, but he stood ready for anything that might occur, and accordingly made haste to assist wheu Constable sprang forward and pinioned the newcomer about the waist. Crusoe accepted his defeat nervily, but when his gun was removed and his wrists enclosed for the time being in his own manacles he regarded his captor With eyes of hate, in which a little reproach was mingled. “What’s your lay, Constable?” he inquired almost steadily. “You’re smarter than I thought, and a deal more crooked.” 4 “Listen,” the other said hurriedly. “I -didn’t like to do this, but there wasn’t *ny way out of it. I’ve got a lot on my . mind this morning, and you complicated L matters. It may be that I’m saving your r life. ° The mountain yonder looks as if he were about to blow his brains out, and I couldn’t be interrupted until I got 11 certain ladies safely aboard here from the town. As for the fascinating person you , call Stembridge, he be my guest, and he may not. I’ll see you about that later •on. Hes been square as a plumb-line to a*. You’re a good naan. Crusoe,

Breen is, too. Your lines are different, that’s all. You’ll get your five thousand that I promised to-day. Just sit tight, and call for anything you want. We’ll be good friends yet. » ♦ . » Captain Negley, have Mr. Crusoe quartered pleasantly aft, and tell Macready to serve him with anything he desires. I’ll be hack 2£ith the ladies in about an hour. You’ll of‘Course have the ship keyed for a sprint to Fort de France.” Constable hurried down tile ladder; and an instant later was again in the launch, which was aimed at ‘■he low-hanging pall, back of which lay the tortured city. It was now twenty-five minutes to nine. lie could make the plantation house slightly after the hour. It was but a moment from the pier to the carriage, and then the half-strangled ponies struggled gallantly through Rue Victor Hugo and up the. morns toward the plantation house. Uncle Joey’s rig was at the gate, good evidence that the mails had been brought. Constable entered the house hastily at ten minutes past nine. There was a word of cheer upon his’ lips. No one was in the library or the music room; no one but a maid servant was bn the lower floor. She was gathering up the litter of broken envelopes and: newspaper wrappings upon the library table. Constable imagined that the maid servant regarded him strangely. He ran to the stairway and called: ' “Are you almost ready, ladies?” He heard footsteps i above and low voices; then 'a door opened and Mrs. Stansbury crossed the upper hall' arid appeared at the head of the stairway. Already he was filled with a confusion of alarms. t • “Pardon me for calling you, but everything is ready—as Soon as you can come.” “We are not going on your yacht, Mr. Constable,” the elder woman said coldly. He sprang up the stairs and faced her in the dim light. Two or three times in his life he had become cold like this, some trait of his breed equipping him with an outward calm, when the issue of ..the moment Was won or lost, but lifted from bis hands. “"What is the latest difficulty, please?” “I would rather not discuss the matter, Mr, Constable.” “May I speak with Miss Stansbury?” It wasnot given to the mother to accede or refuse, for the door behind' her was opened and the girj stood in the aperture, her anguished eyes intent upon him. “I returned to announce that everything is ready,” he said quietly, “and your mother tells me-that you are not going.” “No, we are not going,” she repeated in a lifeless voice. “Is it too much for me to ask why?” She did riot answer at once, but seemed trying to penetrate his brain with her eyes, “Then, you have not seen the New York papers?” she.said; “You may have this. The others, are below,” She handed him the - front page of a daily journal, dated / three weeks before. His own name was there, and, riot in honor. When he -looked up from the paper the door was shut. Constable went below. “Where is Mr. Wall?” he dully inquired of the maid servant. “He went out to the plantation, sir, immediately upon bringing in the mails.” “WherS is Mr. Breen?” “flewfnt down to the city, sir.” Constable left the house and 'walked rapidly out the driveway, turning toward Saint Pierre. Here the man’s pride Intervened. He had committed a folly, perhaps, but no brdad evil. The statements of the press were farcical. Lara Stansbury should not have allowed her mother and the New York reporters to shake her trust. With reaction piling upon him its most bitter* and tragic phases, Peter Constable conceded his failure as a lover, arid turned to his secondary passion—Pelee. CHAPTER VIII. Breen was not wholly unconscious of danger when the large bundle of New York papers was brought with the mails into the library. The ladies had busied"* themselves over a joint epistle from Mr. Stansbury, and were scanning the front pages of the journals, when a sudden exclamation from Mrs. Stansbury intimated the ugly truth. Breen was changed from guest to outlaw. Miss Stansbury followed her mother upstairs, the former bearing the paper with her. A second account of the demoralizing incident was not difficult to find. Breen read the fol-, lowing hastily: j “The Madame de Stael, Mr. Peter Constable’s splendid private yacht, cleared for West Indian ports this morning, having on board the young- millionaire-owner and, it is alleged, Nicholas Stembridge, the notorious revolutionist, adventurer, and swindling promoter. “The purpose in common of the capitalist and fortune hunter cannot be told. Mr. Constable has figured in the public prints on several occasions, but chiefly through his eccentric ideas of practical philanthropy. So far as is known, he has never before allowed himself to be subjected to the attention of the police. It is feared that he will lose at both ends as a result of his present affiliations. “Mr. Constable’s friends aver that the young millionaire could not have understood the character of his companion for the voyage, and point out that Nicholas Stembridge, at his best, is a man of fascinating manners and rre personal accomplishments. It has been added also that Mr. Constable is of a most impulsive temperament, and apt to choose his companions from queer arteries of society. The young man’s innocent intent, however, might more readily be accepted, were it not for the important fact that Nicholas Stembridge, who is known to have been in hiding for several days in New York, was seen on board the de Stael shortly before she sailed; positively recognized, it is said, by an astute and reliable member of the local detective force.” A spirited description of the episode on

the Brooklyn pier followed; also a portion of Nicholas Stembridge’a police record. The conservative character of the paper in which the foregoing appeared led Breen to believe that the account which had fallen into Mrs. Stansbury’s hand might be considerably more emblazoned and embellished. His first thought was that he had become a source of . hot-, ror to the women, and that he must put himself out of their sight. Breen was nut a conscienceless man. A fatalist, a spendthrift, a power that preyed upon the powers that prey, a polished reveller—all these he might be, but his blood was clean from the taint of personal treachery. He had come to like Constable. The friendship was guileless.' He had even thought, with a trace of humor in certain moments, that it was worth being called back from the Brooklyn pier for such a large and clear emotion. It is possible, that he had never in his life been troubled as now, having brought a vital hurt to the man he wished only to serve. His face showed nothing, not even the heat of the day, as he left the house. His own body had felt all, even the moral dissolution which crawls into the brain to prepare a place for the sinister guest, suicide. The law of .cause and effect, unable to find any hold upon himself nor inspire any fear this side of death, had linked him with another, and made 'that other suffer through him. Breen was smitten with the ugliest punishment that clean fiber is given to writhe beneath —that of seeing a friend beaten to the ground by the rebounding volley of one’s own sins. Half way down the Morne d’Orange, he saw Constable’s launch turn shoreward from the ship. Constable was probably aboard. Breen wasn’t ready yet to meet the man he had hurt. He must think*. Moreover, by no means did he ignore the possibility of the Panther bringing one of his logical enemies, nor was he ready to face an accumulation of consequences in the shape of a man hunter. He turn'ed to the right at the base of the morne, and made his way up one of tile winding paths to the terraced streets. I That his steps led him to the fruit shop, wherk he had planned not to go again, seemed iA>w but a paltry addition to the incubus which had so suddenly possessed him. At the first terrace he turned and stared back through the smoke. The launch had just touched the pier at the Sugar Landing. The tall figure of Constable stepped forth arid hastened to the carriage, which was driven rapidly toward the morne. Breen smiled, because it was easier for him to smile than to cry for mercy. Constable was being driven swiftly to the plantation house, where he would find the ugly work that had been done there. Mrs. Stansbury would not board a ship that had been a thief’s refuge. Rue de Rivoli was white and empty. The door of the shop was shut but not locked, and the little round window darkened with a cloth. Breen entered, slamming the door quickly, to keep, out the hot, poisoned air of the street. The dark shop was as empt.v ;of humans as the thoroughfare, but a quick step sounded in the rear. Pere Rabeaut entered from the ash-qUilted court. “What a day, M- Breen! The birds are dead and dying. Soronia is, ill unto death ” 1 {' “Soronia ill I” Breen said udder his breath. The old man hastened away. At the rear, doorway, Soronia pushed by him. Her hair was unfastened, and the loose white garment that she wore was open at the throat. The father stared as if she were a specter. . His lips moved,. and he turned suddenly to the man standing in front of the shop. She moved toward the American. • Her eyes aroused him. The darkness had no power to' divest them of expression, for the passions were burning there —fear lest' this was not flesh which filled her gaze; ecstasy in thatjhe-was there at all, in life Or death or dream. His act of yesterday had wrought the ghastly pallor; the deathly illness was heart-starvation. She touched his shoulder and his cheek with chilling hands; ’ there fell from her lips strange, low words of no language that he knew. Suddenly she caught his hand to her breast, whispering that she had feared she was dreaming. “What were you dreaming, little oje?” he questioned. | . “I thought I was dying when I heard your voice. You said—you said you would come no more.” “But did I not come, little'ffairy ? Who could remain away from you?” She seized his face in her cold hands, whispering, “Do you mean that you will stay?” (To be continued.) Loading Freight by Cards. “I don’t know whether the practice is still kept up in the far south, but I remember how tickled I was at seeing the method used in loading goods into freight cars down in Mississippi some while ago,” said a railroad man of St Louis. . .. • “A lot of strapping black fellows will be on the job under the supervision of a white man, who will be issuing orders with great volubility. ‘Put this aboard the king of diamonds; take this to the ace of hearts; load this on the ten of spades ; this to the jack of clubs,’ and so on, and then you’ll-notice each one of the long line of freight cars has tacked on it some one of the fifty-two cards composing a full deck. The Sen* egambian loafers for the most part were ignorant of letters and figures, but every man of them knew the pasteboard emblems which he had often handled in games of seven up. That next to craps is the chief divewion of the colored sports of Dixie.” —Baltimore American. The Reason. “I was sitting in a crowded car today When Mrs. Nabor got on.” “(Did she thank you for your seat?” “Er—no.” “That’s funny! She has such a reputation for being polite; I wonder why she didn’t” “She didn’t get it” —Houston Post His Jonah Number. Sleeker—Do you believe that thirteen is an unlucky number? Meeker—You bet I do. My wife was the thirteenth woman I proposed to.

Wall Colors and Light. In painting or papering the walls Os a room the question often arises: What ;olor reflects the most, and what the east fight? Recent experiments in' Germany give the following results. Dark blue reflects 6% per cent of the light falling upon it; dark red about 10 per cent; pale red a little more than 16 per cent; lark yellow, 20 per cent; pale blue, 30 per cent; pale yellow, 40 per cent; pale green, 46% per-cent; pale orange, nearly 55 per cent; pale white 70 per cent.' Glossiness and varnish, 0f course, increase the amount of light reflected. Vse Flowered Cretonne. Plain heavy white linen is combined with flowered cretonne in this coat. The edges of the bands are stitched and ornamented with large button molds coveaed with fancy crocheted linen thread and sewed flat to the garment around the edge. Those in the front are sewed in the ordinary manner and used with cords to close the garment. The skirt is cut plain at the top and finished with a plaited flounce. Womau Loses Her Advantages. There seems to be no more gallantry in Englishmen than among ourselves. The London county council recently provided a special car for working women on one of the electric car lines, but it was impossible to keep it for women. Wheti dars were crowded men climbed aboard the women’s car and took possession, claiming that as they had paid theiif fares they had rights which no regulation of the county council could abrogate. This is bad enough, but now the court to which the case was referred has upheld the men in their contention and women will have to do the best they can in rush hours. In New York a similar case has just been decided in the same way. The park board set aside certain seats in the parks for women and children, but men paid no heed to the rule, and the court says they are right not to do so. Women have a hard time of it in this man-governed world. There was a day when public sentiment favored women, and gave them certain advantages on account of their sex and supposed fragility. But now that they have become suffragettes, battling with policemen and storming the doors of parliament, now that they have become athletes, challenging- man’s supremacy, and have entered the business • world, fighting with man for wages, they seem put. upon a level with their brothers.—Chicago Journal. What a Girl Should Learn. Not everyone can learn to play, or sing, or paint well enough to give pleasure to her friends, blit the following good habits may be acquired and poor ones be avoided by anyone: .Never fuss or fidget. Close the door, and close it softly. Have an hour of rising, and rise. Learn to make bread as well as cake. Always know where your belongings are. Never appear at breakfast without a collar. Never go aboht with shoes unbuttoned. Never let a button stay off twentyfour hours. Speak clearly enough for all to understand. Never let a day pass without doing something to make somebody comfortable—Style Magazine. Bind Poisoning. This may result from the most trivial wound A very weak mixture of carand water, such as a druggist or physician who deals in drugs can furnish, should be kept on hand to prevent danger. It should be poured on a cloth and wrapped round any such wound after first washing it carefully. This mixture, which contains about 10 per cent of carbolic acid in water, is sufficient to purify any ordinary wound and keep out impurities if it is well wrapped with clean, dry cloth. Even the scratch of a needle or pin in the laundry tub may cause blood poisoning if the water contains coloring matter or any impurities powerful enough to cause this result. Pretty Neele Pu#». Among the prettiest neck ruffs is the white ostrich feather boa,' tied with soft whiti ribbon in a bow under the left ear. / White tulle is an excellent substitute that is exceedingly becoming to girlish faces, but a fluffy hat should be the only kind worn with these soft, flimsy accessories. Many women seem to for-

FOR AND WOMEN A BOUT

get tljis, and don one of the pretty ruffs without a thought as to the rest of. the toilet, consequently one sees many inharmonious effects. For the Thin Woman. The first suggestion is to preserve the height and also maintain breadth. As short skirts tend to take away the height, skirts should be as long as possible. ' ', Slender women should wear princess and empire models as height is reckoned by the length from the waist line. Fop street wear the plaited skirt untrimmed is very much the best choice. With this the coat must be either short or very long, as a three-quarter length will not be becoming. Black hats should not be worn, for whed a black hat is worn the height seems to stop at the face. This may be avoided by wearing a touch of white on the hat so that the eye may be carried beyond the face. Cure for Pneumonia. After experimenting with a new serum for many months, Dr. Bertrand, of Antwerp, has announced to the medical world that the serum he discovered will cure pneumonia “I first satisfied myself of the efficacy of my serum,” he says, “by experimenting on animals. Then trials were made last winter in the St. Elizabeth and Stuyvenburg hospitals in Antwerp. Several of the patients had pneumonia in an advanced stage and were also habitual drunkards, which always increases the gravity of the danger. In every crise the serious Symptoms were completely arrested within thirty-six

CLOTHES FOR LITTLE TOTS. X I I v\ 11 I I li A

hours, while the temperature and pulse again became normal. “These results were obtained with a total dose of serum not exceeding eilght cubic centimeters at a time. There is no known serum which takes effect with such small doses.” For convulsions, undress the child quickly arid place in warm mustard bath. To prevent another give her a dose of castor dil, as with children* they usually come from indigestion. The best way to take a dose and the less pffensive way, is to warm a cup with hot water, and warm and add tablespoonful of castor oil. This floats on the water and the. mixture goes down without any bother. Some mothers say it is nouseiise and expensive to have three grades of flannels for baby, but they are entirely mistaken, for if the child is made to wear winter flannels too long the delicate skin becomes irritated, and by being overheated the body is more susceptible to cold. By using the medium grade clothing the change is made a month earlier than it can be" if he is put directly into gauze wool. One busy houswife tethers her baby ou? of doors each day, so that he can have fresh air and she need not worry about him running off or getting into mischief.. Make a belt to fit comfortably around baby’s waist, so he cannot slip through. Tie a piece of ropeat the back, giving him plenty of length. Then tie the rope to a treee or post in some shady spot in the yard.. Change the location from time to time, so that he ’will not become weary of his surroundings. Give him his playthings and let him have a good time. When Man Is Mere. Mere man stands eVer open-mouthed before the mystery of dress. He may Wonder; but when he has learned wisdom he wonders in silence. Now and a rash male makes a remark upon this subject and is duly immolated. —Woman’s Life.

Marriage Age increased. It is generally admitted that the marriageable age of women has advanced considerably of recent years. Many a bride has long felt girlhood behind her before she exchanges her vows at the altar, and there seem to be few young men nowadays who care to assume the responsibilities of married life until they are in the financial position usually associated with middle age. Charming Small Hat. K f Clever Charlotte Corday in lace, tied round with black velvet ribbon. The Cold Morning Bath. The cold morning bath is recommended for those who can stand the cold bath, though countless many can not. To prepare for it one should first sponge the body with cold water and step into a few inches, of water drawn from the w(irm water pipe. It will not be wqrm oi/ cold early in the morning. Splash the! water over the body and

wash hastily, letting the tub fill gradually. If the salt bath is used, do not throw the salt towel in the laundry, let it collect the salt. In beauty bathhouses each individual has a salt towel that is countless times, because it gets thoroughly saturated and is more beneficial. A cold bath should not last longer than five minutes. By-antl-By Where’er lheayy hearts are beating, Comes the gentle whispered greeting, Hope’s sweet voice is e’er repeating, By-and-by I by-and-by! Chase the teardrop, check the sigh, Joy is coming by-and-by'. Rosy childhood’s pulse is bounding, To that magic whisper's sounding, Telling of the joys abounding, By-and-by! by-and-by! Haste the.moment’s let them fly— Joys, wellhgrasp them by-and-by! And to manhood, tried and weary, Through the wbrk hours, long and dreary, Steals- an echo, soft, yet cheery, By-and-by! by-and-by! Flinch not. pause not, guerdon high Shall reward thee by-and-by ! —Leslie’s Weekly. ■ !■ ' Rich Girts Make Frugal Wives. Looking for a frugal wife, young man? Marty a rich girl. She knows how to shop, what things ought to

cost; she has had experience in the game of bargain hunting. This is the advice of Miss! Julia Carroll, the pretty niece of Gen. John B. Castleman of Kentucky, formerly* a blue grass society belle, and. now proprietor of a fashionable m i 111 • nery establishment.

MISS Cakroix.

in New York. “The poor young American desiring a frugal wife should wed a rich girl,” she says. “The girls of wealthy parents are past masters in managing a household, especially in sartoriM economy. It is the wife of the man of only moderate means who is the spendthrift. They do not know how to shop. Wives and daughters of millionaires can give all others pointers. They hasp had more experience. The woman is an inveterate bargain hunter.” Erratic Woman. A woman is like your shadow—follow her, she flies; fly from her, she i follows. I

Old Gentleman—And if you had five hundred dollars and multiplied it by two, what would you get? Boy— NautmSbile! —Harper’s Weekly. Teacher—Parse “court.” Pupil—- “ Court,” a verb, active, indicative mood, present tense, and agrees w|th all the girls ip the neighborhood.—Tit-Bits. Father—Got a fall, did you? Well, I hope you didn’t cry like a baby.- Son— No, dad, I didn’t cry. I just said one word—the same as you’d have said.— Punch. 5 “What sort of a looking chap is Gussy?” “Well, if you ever see two men In a corner and one looks bored to leath, the other one Is Gussy."—London Opinion. . . ' . ! Mother (crossly^—Tommy, haven’t I told you you must not talk when I am •talking? Tommy—But, mamma, you won’t let me stay up after you go to bed! —Sketch. “Do you think he can afford to keep an auto?” “He ought to. He’s been an amateur photographer for three fears and that didn’t break him.”—Detroit Free Press. Stranger—Been a cyclone or an earthquake round here recently? Officer—Naw—this hyer’s a college town, ui ’ne of the students had a- birthday party.—Harper’s Weekly. Mistress—Now, remember, Bridget, „ the Joneses are coining for dinner. Cook—-Leave - it to me, mum. I’ll do me worst! They’ll never trouble yeaagain!—lllustrated pits. “You say you acted like a perfect lady throughout?” “Sure,, yer honor; when he tips his’ hat to pie an’ me not knowln’ him, I ups with a rock an’ caves in his face.”—Houston* Post. Medium (impressively)— It’s the spirit of your late husband, madam. He wishes to speak with you. Mrs. Peck—lt can’t be Henry; he never had no spirit. —Boston Transcript Teacher—What is. it, Tom? Tom— Jimmy’s swearing! Teacher —What did he say? Tom—Well, marm, if you say over all the cuss words you know, I’ll tell you when you come to it— Kansas City Star. The American globe-trotter—Talk about traveling. Why, in' America trains gd so fast that it takes two ;>eo- . pie to talk about ’em—one to say “Here she comes,” and the other to say, “There she goes.”—The Sketch. Mrs. O'Hoolihan —This payper says there do be sermons in sthones. Phwhat d’ yez think av thop o’Hoolihan —01 durino about the ser-rmons, but many a good ar-rgument has coom out av a brick,. Oi.'m thinkin’.—-Chicago News. “I tell you,” said Sinnick, “men are getting so ddeeitful these days that you can’t trust your best friends —i—” “And what’s worse,” interrupted Burroughs, gloomily, “you can’t get your friends to trust you.”—•Philadelphia Press. ; “Sb,” remarked the boyhood friend, • “you are in the swim.” “Mother and the girls think I am,” answered Mr. Dumrox. “But my personal are those of a man who. has fallen overboard and ought to be hollering for help.”—Washington Star. Teacher—ls you are kind and polite to your what will be the result? Scholar—They’ll think they can ‘lick me!—Philadelphia Inquirer. He—That fellow over there cheated 1 me out of a cool million. She —How could he? He—Wouldn’t let ‘me inarry his daughter.—The Pathfinder.' “Just this way, sir,” said the courteous clerk in the railroad ticket office. “Let me show you some summer guides entitled ‘Where to Go’ and ‘When to Go.’ ” The man with the modest income shook his head. "“They don’t interest me,” he sighed. “Wha£ I want to know is ‘How" to Go.”’—Chicago Daily News. “Professor,” said Mrs. Gaswell to the distinguished musician who had been engaged at a high .price to entertain her guests, “what wag that lovely selection rou played just now?” “That, madam,” . lie answered, glaring at heif “was an Improvisation.” “Ah, yes, I remember now. I knew it was an old favorite, but I couldn’t think of the name of |t to save me.” —-Tit-Bits. His A«a>alslied Speech. Eventually our finest products will be cheap enough to be within the reach of all. Then the story of the boy and the hothouse grapes will be as dead and antiquated as the theater hat stories of the past. This l*y—he itai a bootblack —entered a grocer’s one day, ahd, pointing to some superb grapes, said; . .. “Wat’s the pric£ o’ them there, mister?” . “One dollar a pound, my lad,” the , clerk replied. ■ A look of anguish passed over ’the boy’s face, and he said hastily: “Then give us a cent’s worth o’ carrots. I’m dead gone bn fruit.” “In de Natchal Way,” A rich: Northerner, walking about in a Southern negro settlement, came upon a house around which several children were- playing. Seeing that the family was destitute, he called the oldest negro boy and gave him a dollar, telling him to spend It for a Christmas hjrkey. As soon as the generous man had gone, the negro woman called her boy and said, “Thomas, yo’ gimme flat dollah and go git dat turkey in the oatchal way.”— Success Magazine