Smithville News, Volume 1, Number 13, Smithville, Monroe County, 23 October 1908 — Page 3

Mil! Hot Air Cor. * By Wireless Telephone.

By that we mean, our w lightings seem To be j a st so much slush. The reason? why* he’ll always add, Some stuff o’his’n. Makes me sad. That nature while so provident, Forgot to give me brains by accident.

DAIRY

«LUNCH

Our news this week will be in verse, | Just thank your stars it aint no worse . There was a big hooker named May With Paris’s whip made away, ’Tis past all belief They say he’s the thief, So won’t the cop take him away.

CORRESFONOINCE.

SANDERS

In addition to the regular feat-

The tickets will be so arranged that lunch instead of a meal can be served at the customers pleasure.

w w s o *ri w w w 25 "d *1 V bd o o 3 h-* • 3 CfQ. ft* o 3 I—H 3 CL P 3 P

Mrs. Dill Deckards is very sick of

ures of the Dairy Lunch, E, Kirk-

rheumatism

Mrs. John Tatum visited in Smithvllle, Wednesday afternoon.

wood avenue a dining room has

Mrs. Wm. McGlothin of Harrodsburg was the guest of relatives here this week.

been added.

Miss Maude Updegmff was the guest ox the Hainey girls Wednesday afternoon.

MEALS 25c

j Mr. A. Moat has a mule. him one night he did fool, 1 The mule gave a kick, Made Moats stomach sick k That mule he is surely a jewel Upon the wall doth hang ©ur skillet Won’t some kind maid with mushrooms fill it.

You may say that; it’s hardlv right For a man to be called Harley Wright But it might be worse, You can guess of course, It might be E—saa Wright. ""ir Mr. Doctor Simnls is ill, Every hour he takes his pill, Like a good fellow When of them he gets his fill,-- • Won’t he >ell-0!

The Republican speaking at the school house, Saturday evening was well attended. Mrs. John Walls and children spent Tuesday afternoon with Mrs. Docia Zikes.

(By Ticket-25 Meals for $5.00)

Straight Board $3.50

John Henry Mercer moved his family to Bloomington, they intend to keep a boarding house.

Mr. Wylie SrygLer was si»k in bed They say his head Was awful big.

Oliver Tatum and wife and Homer Hepley and wife speat Sunday with the family of John Tatum.

Mr. Heltonburg who fell off a load of hay some weeks ago is again able t© be out by the assistance of a cane.

Caves like Anderson’s remind us We can always save some time, By depending leave behind us, Every stitch of cloths we find.

Wm. Kinney and son Oscar who have been visiting Mr. and Mrs. Eli Elgan> returned to their home at Ft. Ritner, Thursday.

When father or mother is called away, We call the children orphans. When husband and wife apart will stay We label the two divorcons.

jneh.a man'getsTired 67 his wife* jrass widower is he for life, ut the man that’s lost his friend! © word there is, or e’er will be, fhich will describe that agony.

Elmer Chambers and wife went to Harrodsbnrg Sunday to see Mrs. Chambers brother, who is ill with typhoid fever. J

JOB PRINTING

A fire in the old Bedford woods created some excitement Tuesday evening. It was supposed to have started by sparks from a stone train. No damage was dene.

girl called Lena To me seems a Riddle. Calls me Kid ’ \ T hugarlump! What did I ever do, sweet land above To make her fall so dead in love With me? Gee whizz, I’d sizz, 1 ill cooked and brown, I’d be her truly own.

Most men like grapes, In various shapes, But little John and me, *\re stuck on grape jellee. We made away, just last Sunday We must confess with quite a.mess, From Holman’s farm. That’s twentythree, Saiddo fer John and me.

O, our bull dog is a jolly old dog, But a lazy old do£ is he, He can wink like a frog, And roll, like a log,

As the Taft special pulled through Smithville yesterday Mr. Taft (his picture) was thrown from the train and was picked up by some bystander in an unconscious condition. Later it was learned that it had recovered. '

The plow that belongs to District No, 6, which is a new one, that was left on the road where it was used last spring and was taken from its resting place has perhaps started home but as yet has not reae ced its destination.

UNDERTAKER Best Equipment and Best Service, S. L. BARREL). Licensed Maimer and Funeral Director North Side Square, BLOOMINGTON, IND. Phone 582. Residence 775

GIVE US A TRIAL.

He’ll spot the smallest flea h e eats his meat like an Englishman, likes it rather strong) But as he is mo Republican, I guess we caa get along.

! LOCAL NEWS~1

We can now say we have seen the next president of the United States.

Your subscription to the News would be gladly received as the election will soon be over and then down to business.

Altough I’m homelier than sin, The girls all seem to fly to me. It seems I have a way to win, But if I have its news to me. £ wish the girls that aint got beaux, Would not fall back on me, You see it seems just sorter tough, On them to still keep up the bluff, I’m married, now - - - aint it so!

Ye writer, has one straw hat to bet bn the election. Don’t know what we ould wear this winter if we should 1 )Ojse.

What they all say—“I am truly glad that Smithville has such a breezy little s leet as The Smithville News. It is always welcome at my place of business. I do not lock the store doors until it has been read. My part of the business stops until I read it. To me it is a letter from home. Enclosed, find check to cover one gear’s subscription.”* T. W. Carter, Bedford Ind.

The Taft speaking at Bloomington was one solid mass of *‘howling” hum - anity. It was impossible to keep down thecontinous uproar to hear anything he said. He was a very pleasant and kind-hearted looking man.

Fond reader hark! for some time past, Ye editor of all this chaff, .Has been exceeding fresh.