The Mail-Journal, Volume 28, Number 41, Milford, Kosciusko County, 22 November 1989 — Page 11

School news

Battle of the bottle —

Young people shed anger through Alateen meetings

I By BILL BROOKS Koala Centers “One of the greatest things about being an Al-Anon sponsor is that you get back as much as you give.” §o says the co-sponsor of a northside Indianapolis group of Alateen, the 12-step program for children of alcoholics. “You get .to see the kids come in from a dysfunctional family,” she declares, “and after only an hour they find they are not the only ones with feelings of despair, hopelessness and anger — anger they can’t identify.” In Alateen they begin to identify the anger. The youngsters, some as young as six or seven, brought to the meetings sometimes by older sisters or brothers as well as parents, learn that the frustration and resentment stem from their belief that they caused some or all of their parents’ alcoholism. They feel they are responsible in some way for the drinking, for the misery in the family. They find, like members of the adult Al-Anon program, that they did not cause it, can’t control it Roberts to graduate from Program Twenty-nine Indiana farmers and agribusiness men and women and their spouses will be in Indianapolis November 30-December 2 for the last of 15 seminars and the graduation ceremony of the Indiana Agricultural Leadership Program (ALP), sponsored by the Indiana Institute of Agriculture, Food and Nutrition. Jon Roberts, co-owner of Roberts Farm in Syracuse, is a participant in the program which is designed to develop leadership skills and a broader understanding of social, economic, and political issues. During the three-day seminar, ALP participants and their spouses will meet with leaders from the Indianapolis area and discuss the role of leaders in society. Honorable William H. Hudnut, mayor of Indianapolis, plans to address the group on his experiences in leading and operating the capitol city. Strategic health issues for Indiana will be addressed by Dr. Woodrow Myers, director of the Indiana Board of Health. Dr. Michael Scheeringa, Indiana University Medical Center and a representative of the Coalition of Hoosiers for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, will also be a speaker. This session will focus on the ethical treatment of animals in food production and research. Sessions designed to focus on ALP participants and their spouses include a workshop on “Reflective Leadership” with Marcia Casey Cushmore, Hubert H. Humphrey Institute, Minneapolis. Dr. and Mrs. Wally Denton will lead the group in a discussion of the past two years of personal growth and leadership development. Other highlights of the seminar include an address by John M. Mutz, president of the Lilly Endowment, Inc., a visit to the newly established Eiteljorg Museum of American Indian and Western Art, and an evening at the Madame C.J. Walker Theater. Fifty-nine people have completed the Indiana Agricultural Leadership Program which was developed in 1984 to identify and foster strong agricultural leaders between the ages of 25-42. The program consists of 15 seminars over a two-year period; 13 seminars in Indiana, a one-week seminar in Washington, D.C., and two weeks of foreign travel.

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and can’t cure it. They learn that they are not responsible for anyone else's actions but only for their own. The Hoosier co-sponsor continues, “We emphasize to the young people .that Alateen is a 12-step program, that the steps are important and that the steps are what recovering people are using. Nine out of 10 kids who come to the meetings have a parent in a 12-step program. We tell the, ‘lf you have a problem communicating with your parents, try getting through to them through the program. After all, the Alateen, A. A. and Al-Anon programs ALL use the same steps.’ “We tell them some of the buzz words in the program: Resentment, self-pity and self-hate. We tell them the slogans: Live and Let Live, How Important Is It?, and One Day at a Time. Alateen is Al-Anon for a teenager. Kids will say, If I clean my room, maybe he won’t drink’ or ‘lf I get better grades, maybe she won’t drink.' And sometimes they will

\ V A ' s. ■ ” .■■ ■■ VARSITY SINGERS — The Wawasee High School Varsity Singers, under the direction of Thomas Beckett, are shown during a practice session. The choir will be one of the groups performing in the old fashioned Christmas concert at Syracuse’s Lakeside Park on December 3. (Photo by Mitchell Stinson)

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EX-MARINES GIVE TALK — Two ex-Marines, Dan Weldy, left, and John Kirkwood, both of Syracuse, talked to the first grade and readiness classes at Syracuse Elementary School last Thursday about the Marine Corp and military history in honor of Veterans Day. Teachers for these classes are Mrs. Keiper, readiness; Mrs. Butler, Mrs. Perrin, Mrs. Traviolia. and Mrs. Wieczork, first grade; and paraprofessionals, Dana Arthur, Carolyne Elliott, and Shari Lambert. (Photo by Linda Musselman)

Little Known Facts About Darts Did you know over a million Americans play darts regularly? Here’s why it’s one of the country’s fastest growing sports. • Darts is the only sport which allows amateur dart players the opportunity to compete with and against professionals. • Darts is a sport that requires skill rather than brawn, making it fun for both men and women to participate. • The opportunities to compete in darts are increasing. For example, the Lucky Lights Dart Series is a 26market tournament with a total of $500,000 in prize money.

say ‘Dad tells me if I do better in school, he won't drink.’ And we know that’s’just the alcoholic rationalizing and making excuses. And we tell the kids exactly that so they understand they are NOT responsible for the drinking.” The Indianapolis co-sponsor tosses kids’ questions back to the group, saying, “What do the rest of you think about that? Can you share how you handled that situation?” It is put squarely up to the youngsters to share their experience, strength and hope. “One angry little girl of 12,” said the co-sponsor, “asked if she could go to the big people's meeting. I asked her what she would say. She said she wanted to express her feelings. So I asked the other kids, ’Do you think we could do this? How will you say this so they will listen?’ We decided to form questions and so a question-answer series with AlAnon in an Askit Basket. "Previously Al-Anon wrote out questions for the Askit Basket and the Alateen kids would answer, so this time we reversed

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the process. We worked hard in talking over how to word the questions for the adults without sounding angry. It was a real problem-solving procedure. “Some of the kids wanted questions framed anonymously (‘lf my mother knew I asked this one, she'd hit me on the head! ’) ” The co-sponsor typed the questions, such as "Why do parents have children if they don’t ever want to play with them?” and "Why do parents want their kids to do all the parents’ work?” and "Why do parents tell kids they can do something and later, change their minds without notice?” and one heart-rending query, “Why do parents say, ‘I wish you’d never been born’?” The Al-Anons listened to these questions and answered them all. They also defended themselves as parents but often admitted they were wrong in this delicate but meaningful confrontation. The Al-Anons admitted this was difficult for them to do. The kids were aged six to 16 in the questioning group.

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CONCERT BOUND — Tuesday, Nov. 28, at 7:38 p.m. the symphonic and string orchestras of Wawasee High School will take the stage for their first appearance of the year, with selections ranging from Broadway °-to the Baroque. Outstanding wind and percussion players from the Symphonic Band will join and unusually full string selection for an exciting “Slavonic Dance” and “The Impossible Dream” in a medley from the Broadway musical. "Man of La Mancha.” Several students will be featured in solo parts as junior Spencer Martin conducts the Chamber Orchestra in Geminiani’s “Concerto Grosso in E minor.” The soloists will be Larry and Tina Horwitz,

Andrea Stoller appointed to advisory council Mrs. Rich (Andrea) Stoller has been appointed to the Southern Methodist University Law School, Dean’s Advisory Council. She will advise the dean on the needs of the first year law students and assist in the interviewing of perspective law school faculty and staff. Mrs. Stoller is a first year student at the law school. The Stollers, who owned Stoller Builders in Syracuse since 1972, moved tb " Dallas, Texas, in August of 1989 with their three youngest children. Britani. Katie, and Zachery. Their oldest son, Jerrod, is a junior at Purdue University. Mrs. Stoller is the facilities director of the Cox School of Business at Southern Methodist University. Toothpaste Don't throw away your empty toothpaste tube. Put the cap on and hold it under hot water for a minute or two. Mash the tube (flattened) between your fingers toward the cap and you will find you have enough toothpaste for several days. Janie T., Vail, Colo.

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Ik W w bmMHMBkmI HONOR STUDENTS —\Pictured are members of the North Webster School sixth grade Distinguished Honor Roll. \ Standing in the front row, fnom left, are Samantha Hursey, Diandra Shock and Dana Reinhold. The back row consists of Bess Flora, Daniel Allen and Isiah Rensberger. Not pictured is Nathan Fitzgerald. (Photo by Mitchell Stinson)

Wed., November 22. 1989 — THE MAIL-JOURNAL

Karen Yoder, and Becki Haab. Also, a new chamber ensemble for underclassmen, the Cambiata Strings, will perform for the first time at this concert. From the sparkling, Spanish-flavored brass and percussion rhythms of “Man of La Mancha” to the rich string harmonies of Satie’s “Gymnopedie No. 1,” the concert will present a fascinating variety of selections. Conductor Dennis Carper, in his first year at Wawasee, is enthusiastic with the effort and potential he has observed in the high school orchestra students, adding that serious consideration is being taken to enter the group in this year’s first division competition. (Photo by Scott Davidson)

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