The Mail-Journal, Volume 27, Number 15, Milford, Kosciusko County, 25 May 1988 — Page 4

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THE MAIL-JOURNAL —Wed., May 25,1988

Editoria

Yesterday, tomorrow, today The motto for the Wawasee High School Class of 1988 is “Remember yesterday, dream of tomorrow, and live for today.” The staff of this newspaper hopes they will inplant this in their minds as they receive their diplomas on Sunday afternoon. Remember yesterday.. . Your high school days hold memories like no other. It’s a special time in your life. With graduation comes additional responsibilities and no matter what your plans are for the future, a change in your lifestyle. Many of you will not see each other again. Others will only see each other on rare occasions, but you will always have memories of your days together at Wawasee High School. Every time you see the colors green and white, let them take you back to a special memory at Wawasee High School. Every time you see a white rose, let it do likewise. Save the special graduation section in this issue. In the years to come, it will help you to remember yesterday. ... dream of tomorrow ... As you cross the threshold between childhood and adulthood, don’t be afraid to dream of tomorrow. This is America and you are in control of your life. No one has told you that tomorrow you are going to be a garage mechanic, a school teacher, a waitress, a doctor, a lawyer . . . You are the one who is going to decide what your future holds. America is a land of opportunities for those who are willing to work (remember, no one is going to hand you anything on a golden platter). A garage mechanic can become an Indy 500 mechanic if that is what he or she wants and works hard at achieving that goal. A school teacher can influence great people, can teach in an elementary school, a secondary school, a university. A waitress or waiter can work her or his way up to a top restaurant and rub elbows with the elite. A doctor or a lawyer can become world famous if he or she works hard and applies himself or herself. It’s great to dream. Dreams can come true if you will but apply yourselves in the future and make them work for you. . . . live for today Don’t ever forget that today is the most important day of your life. Today is Wednesday, May 25. You still have four more sunrises before you get your diplomas, what are you going to do with that time? It’s up to you. Ptn today to good use ... remember yesterday and dream of tomorrow! Area coming alive with Early Birds The “Early Bird” edition of The Mail-Journal is to welcome those who have come to spend the summer in the Lakeland area. This is a busy weekend. Wawasee High School seniors will graduate on Sunday and Monday is Memorial Day. ; v( ,; ~ 7 With the end of the school year, the population in the Lakeland area will swell. The anticipated warmer weather will bring many from South Bend, Fort Wayne, Indianapolis, Chicago and other metropolitan areas to this community as they seek the cool shores of the many lakes that offer recreation and peaceful living away from the hubbub of the busy cities. With summer approaching the Lakeland area turns into a beehive of buzzin’ people. People who hurry here andlhere to get as much done in one day as they can... after all, before we know it summer will be over. This issue is full of “Early Bird” advertisements with merchants showing their wares to the many who are now coming to open their summer homes and to the residents who enjoy the area’s recreational facilities all year long. This issue also contains a “Summer” supplement, giving even more advertisements and events taking place in the lake area. I * Master yourself Human beings, blessed with a good earth, have made a mess of many things. However, viewed from any distant peak of the past, the present records ungHins The natural belief is that the future, compared to the era in which we now live, could show similar advances. The reader of this editorial has a definite role to play in this drama of human life. The part may be small insofar as history is concerned, but large in its effect upon other human beings. Every man and woman must attempt the mastery of his or her own nature and also a productive translation of his or her personality into young people. One life, history shows, can make quite a difference in human progress. What others say — Memorial Day 1988 Memorial Day 1988 is a time for Americans to reflect on the past as we look to the future. It is a time for us to remember and honor those Americans who died in service to our nation. It makes no difference when or where these gallant men and women served, but that they served when called. Since the beginning of our nation, more than 200 years ago, Americans have answered the call to service. Service to the nation is the highest form of praise and honor we can make to the Constitution and our freedoms. As Americans, we have honored our servicemen and women on Memorial Day since 1868. We know the price of freedom is high and we understand that to honor those who died in service to the country is not only proper, but much deserved. With out the unselfish service of millions of Americans since the REvolutionary War we would not enjoy the freedoms we have today.' Memorial Day is a time to reflect on those freedoms and on the sacrifices of the men and women who fought, and died, to keep the torch of liberty burning bright. As a nation we asked them to serve. As a nation we must honor their service. As a nation we must remember their sacrifices. It is our duty as Americans to insure their service does not go unnoticed. If is our duty to honor these men and women by carrying on the traditions of service to this nation. This Memorial Day 1988 must be a special time to honor those gallant heroes of our military whg sacrificed their lives so all Americans could be free We can pay no greater tribute to their service than that of honoring their memory and sacrifices while at the same time rekindling a sense of pride that, as Americans, we live in the greatest nation on the face of the earth. Memorial Day is the day for all Americans to honor those men and women w * , oP a * < * the ultimate price to

Congratulations Class of 1988

Court news

County Court The following persons have paid fines and costs in Kosciusko County Court, Judge James Jarretfpresiding: Speeding — Eric M. Grisso, 21, Milford, $80; Corrie S. Shell, 24, North Webster, S6O. Leaving Scene — William L. Medley, 26, North Webster, $153. Disorderly Conduct — Craig L. Strickler, 33, Milford, $153. Criminal Recklessness — Craig L. Strickler, 33, Milford, dismissed.' Marriage Licenses The following couples, have applied for marriage licenses in the office of Kosciusko County Clerk Jeanne Weirick: Savage-Powell James Gerard Savage, 23, r 1 r 14 Lakeside, Leesburg, and Caroil Ann Powell, 29, Bluffton. Espinoza-Vuittonet Jose Enrique Espinoza, 32, Goshen, and: Margarita Vuittonet, 25, r 2 box 33-C, Milford. Keplinger-Schwinnen Melvin Eugene Keplinger 111, 27, r 1 box 27, Claypool, and Nichol Dian Schwinnen, 19, r 1 box 675, Leesburg. Gant-Peek Charles A. Gant, 63, P.O. Box 207, North Webster, and Yvonne M. Peek, 40, r 4 box 661, Warsaw. Marriage Dissolutions The following couples have filed for marriage dissolutions in the Kosciusko Superior and Circuit Courts: Belchak — Sue Ann Belchak, r 1 box 512, North Webster, and Robert Allen Belchak, c/o Hoskins Manufacturing, 77103 CR 23, New Paris. The couple was married July 14, 1987 and separated May 11, 1988. There are two minor children. Bills — Gregory D. Bills, Milford, and June M. Bills, Milford. The couple was married Nov. 4, 1978 and separated April 25, 1988. There are two minor children. The following marriage dissolutions were granted in Elkhart County Courts: Circuit Court Chandler — Raymond G. Chandler, 54249 Independence, Elkhart vs Deborah K. Chandler, unknown. The couple married Feb. 19, 1983 and separated Jan. 15,1987.

Area people booked at jail

The following area persons were booked in the Kosciusko County Jail: David Leroy Piper, 27, r 1 box 423, North Webster, was charged with driving under the influence Bridge-O-Rama gives donation to park board The spring Bridge-O-Rama luncheon was held recently at the Beacon. High Gross went to Verna Knauer and Barb Medlock; second, Ann Hailey and Ann McPartland; Linda Neff and Jan Hays. High Net went to Gladys Hayner and Marian Porter; second, Ann Miller and Elizabeth Walker; third, Helen Alderfer and Barb Steenport. The group voted to donate leftover monies to the park board for the new gazebo. Next year’s co-chairmen are Betty Miller and Ruth Martin. Anyone interested in playing should caD 856-4722 or 856-2718. Weapon changes urged MUNICH, West Germany — Secretary of Defense Frank C. Carlucci and ranking U.S. lawmakers have called upon West Germany and other European aUies to fulfill a commitment to modernize short-range nuclear missiles.

Waldron — Vicki Lynn Waldron, r box 231 D, Syracuse, c/o Ronald Hummel, vs Donald Dale Waldron, Box 322, Millersburg. The couple married June 26,1976 and separated Feb. 27,1988. The couple was awarded joint custody of two minor children, and the husband will pay support. Circuit Court The following petitions have been filed in Kosciusko Circuit Court, Judge Richard Sand presiding. Complaint For Damages Melani K. Clayton, no address, versus Tammy L. Bishop, a/k/a Tammy L. Groh and Heritage Mutual Insurance Company. Plaintiff seeks: Count I — compensation for injuries and loss plus costs; Count II — compensation for injuries and loss plus costs. City Court The following fine has been levied and paid in the Goshen City Court: Speeding — Charles J. Clevenger, 46, Syracuse, S6B County Court Goshen Division The following fines plus court costs have been levied and paid in the Elkhart County Court, Goshen Division Speeding — James W. Adams, 20, Syracuse, SSB; William Charles Signorelli, 21, North Webster, SSB; Rickey N. Edsar, 39, Syracuse, $56 False/fictitious registration — William Charles Signorelli, 21, North Webster, $54 Criminal conversion — John J. Zwolinski, SI,OOO, sentenced to one year jail, placed on probation for one year, probation transfered to Berrien County, Mich. New Claims * Goshen Division Mehl, Mehl & Beeson, 222 N. Main St., Goshen vs Stoney Williams and Monica Williams, 72833 CR 29, Lot 11, Syracuse. Plaintiff seeks slls plus costs. R.M. Long, assignee of Goshen Hospital, vs Steven W. Solina and Connie L. Solina, 506 W. Lake, Syracuse. Plaintiff seeks $1,083.76 plus costs.

and released on $350 bond. Wally Feshchenko, 27, r 4 box 94C, Syracuse, was arrested with driving under the influence and released on $350 bond. Esther Louise Stahly, 47, r 6 box 146, Syracuse, was charged with conversion and released after posting $250 bond. Robert P. Morris, 51, 307 West Street, Milford, was arrested on charges of operating while intoxicated and refusal to take a test. He was released on $450 bond. Joseph Raymond Kniola, 27, Stanley Drive, North Webster, was charged with driving under the influence and held on $350 bond. Charles Robert Oswald, 31, r 1, Leesburg, was charged with a body attachment warrant for support, and released on S3OO bond.

THE MA IL-JOURNAL (U.S.P-.S. 3258-4000) Published by the Mall-Journal every Wednesday and entered as Second Class matter at the Post Office at Syracuse, Indiana 46567. Second class postage paid at 103 E. Main Street, Syracuse, Indiana 46567 and at additional entry offices. Subscription: 517.50 per year In Kosciusko County; *23.50 outside county. POSTMASTERS: Send change of address forms to The Mall-Journal, P.O. Box IM, Milford, Indiana 46542 —————l

"CRUZIN AROUND 'CUSE"

(EDITOR’S NOTE: This week’s guest writer is Chris Smith. The Robert Z. Smith family moved to Syracuse from Denver in September 1987. Bob works at Peabody ABC in Warsaw, 15-year-old Nathan will be a Sophomore at Wawasee High School in the fall/and Chris, the guest columnist, is enjoying a brief respite from her previous position in Denver as a legal secretary handling personal injury cases. Says Chris about her new hometown, “Syracuse is a great little town!”) THE WAWASEE Community Tough Love group has been helping and supporting hmh —parents for approximately hree years. The local Tough Love Group started in May of 1985 with the help of concerned parents from the South Bend Group. Initially, the meetings were attended by only a few parents. Meetings now see up to 25-30 parents in attendance from time to time. Over the years, hundreds of parents and families have been supported by the Tough Love Group in our community. Parents from Milford, North Webster, Ligonier, Pierceton and other surrounding communities have benefited from the Group. What Is Tough Love? 1. A support group for parents or guardians (children are excluded). 2. Parents working through feelings and emotions that result from unacceptable adolescent behavior. 3. Available to support parents’ worth and rights to be treated with respect. 4. Support for parents who are allowing their children to feel the consequences of their own behavior. 5. Parents helping parents identify drug and alcohol-related behaviors. 6. An informational group that can recommend additional community resources. 7. A non-blaming, caring organization. Ten Beliefs Os Tough Love 1. Family problems have roots and supports in the culture. 2. Parents are people too. 3. Parents’ material and emotional resources are limited. 4. Parents and kids are not equal. 5. Blaming keeps people helpless. 6. Kids’ behavior affects parents; parents’ behavior affects kids. 7. Taking a stand precipitates a crisis. 8. From controlled crisis comes positive change. 9. Families need to give and get support in their community in order to change. 10. The essence of family life is cooperation, not togetherness. Tough Love will support parents who want to take a stand, or take action, as a reflection of love for their kids. This action can stem simply from unacceptable or self-destructive behavior of their adolescents, or a problem with drug and/or alcohol abuse. Other parents who have had similar problems and have experience in dealing with those problems are in attendance at the meetings to support decisions made by newcomers who want to change the home environment which has been disrupted by their teenagers. Information is available about drugs and alcohol and how to recognize symptoms of drug and alcohol use. The following are some self-help suggestions to get started, taken from the Tough Love literature: 1. Change the way you react because your child knows just how to manipulate you. 2. It is best not to react immediately to your child’s behavior. Give yourself time to think. 3. Don’t argue —walkaway. 4. Stop explaining. 5. Stop feeling guilty. 6. Stop making excuses for your child’s behavior. 7. Stop blaming yourself. 8. Chart you child’s behavior. 9. Work on building your support system within Tough Love by attending meetings. The Tough Love meetings are confidential. Nothing that is said at a meeting is to be repeated. This makes it easier for parents to share their problems. Os course, it is never easy for a parent to admit to having problems with their kids. Many parents have a guilt feeling that they have raised their kids wrong or are “bad parents”. Most parents feel they do the best they can. Sometimes outside influences are stronger than we can be; until we learn how to deal with them. Tough Love operates on a principle of controlled crisis. We meet weekly in order to stay one step ahead of our problems. Tough Love does not advocate or support kicking kids out on the streets. Sometimes parents feel they have no alternatives left and. are at the end of their rope. Our group works to come up with new approaches and alternatives. We can only support giving our kids options that protect their safety and our responsibility. The reality is that they may not choose our options for themselves. Tough Love does not advocate or support physical or verbal abuse. Our group advocates personal power, not the power of one person over the other. When it comes down to drug and alcohol abuse, we have to literally fight for our kids’ lives. If a parent has even an inkling of an idea that their child may be using drugs or alcohol, it is imperative that they get the facts and do something. The problem will not go away by itself. The Tough Love Group is supported by Wawasee High School, the local police department, and other community leaders. Dr. Roger W. Thornton, Superintendent of Schools: “The Tough Love parent support group

appears to me to be an excellent resource for parents who are attempting to intervene in their child’s drug problem. The opportunity to discuss the problem with others who have faced the same circumstance can be a real help and support.” Ned L. Speicher, Principal: “Tough Love is a vibrant organization that provides support, a sounding board and a willingness to listen. Wawasee High School recommends Tough Love as a successful, meaningful support group for parents.” Richard Long, North Webster School Principal: “Thank you for extending an invitation to me for the Tough Love meeting. Being part of the Tough Love meeting was very enlightening; it gave me the opportunity to better understand the concerns of parents about their children and drugs. It also enabled me to inform other about the importance of the North Webster ‘Just Say No’Club.” Russ Mikel, Assistant Principal, Milford Junior High: “Tough Love provides parents an opportunity to express concerns, feelings and share ideas, opinions. This interaction provides a support group to help parents deal and cope with their situation. “The Milford School has responded with a ‘Just Say No’ Club in order to promote increased awareness and understanding. Hopefully we can encourage students to say no to drugs and effectively deal with peer pressure.” Jerry Lambert, Teacher, Health Education, Wawasee High School: “I highly recommend Tough Love to parents concerned about the possibility of youthful alcohol and drug abuse. Members of Tough Love care about young people and help parents get a handle on many difficult situations. Meetings are open to anyone who cares.” Ruth Angle, counselor, Wawasee High School: “Tough Love is a tremendous asset to parents and a wonderful group.” Thomas Perzanowski, Indiana State Police Officer: “Having been involved with several parents in the Tough Love program, I have seen the positive results that the group can have on the entire family. I have seen families that were torn apart brought back together through love and understanding. I have seen young peoples’ lives and attitudes turned around in such a positive way that can only be described as .unbelievable. I would strongly recommend the Tough Love program to any parent looking for support and direction. “In regard to the ‘Just Say No’ Clubs, not enough can be said to compliment their influence on the young people in the community. I know of many parents and teachers who have spent endless hours in organizing and planning the a& tivities for our yduhg people. They haVeWttSh'fe" topic of negative influence and turned it into a powerful, positive force. My thanks to the adult organizers and a special thanks to all the great kids who dare to JUST SAY NO! ” David L. Maish, pastor, Calvary United Methodist Church: “Tough Love is definitely an asset to the Syracuse and Wawasee Community. It has directly helped parents and youth in our congregation and is the best self-help group I know to help parents deal effectively with confronting real concerns.” The following are comments from parents who have found support in the Tough Love Group: “Three years ago, Owen and I were standing alone, unsuccessfully attempting to battle a substance abuse problem thinking we would eventually be able, to conquer it. Conditions kept deteriorating until we went to Tough Love. In the Tough Love program, we found a support group of caring, concerned people who had experienced a variety of problems and were able to help us stop feeling like we were failures as parents. Tough Love has also helped educate us concerning drugs, alcohol, and behavior problems and was the catalyst that encouraged us to take a stand against our problem. Those who sow in tears reap in joy. We have a success story with our daughter who has fought back courageously against substance abuse and plans to go to Ball State to pursue a career in counseling and psychology. We as a family will always continue to support Tough Love and help others through our experiences.” — Sandy Cobbum “Tough Love helped me through a situation I couldn’t have handled on my own. Without this caring group of people, I don’t know where my son would be today. I now have the strength and self-respect to make decisions and stick by them. My whole family is better because of that.” “It’s nice to be able to come to a Tough Love meeting and talk to people who have similar problems and then at least you don’t feel like you’re the only person in the world with problems. The support of the other parents is really appreciated. Helpful ideas are always available." “Tough Love works if you stick with it. It helps to have a group of supporters to back you up in your decisions. Through Tough Love I have made a lot of close friends who have empathy with your situation. And those friendships are lasting.” I . : “Tough Love parents have given me the support I needed to make some tough decisions in the raising of my teenagers and dealing with my daughters who are in their twenties.”, “The support of other parents when we have had problems with our teenager is really wonderful. So often when there are problems, parents feel so all alone. Tough Love is an excellent opportunity to share wtth other parents and know you aren’t alone.” “Tough Love was just the group I was looking for. The support and caring of these people have helped me make some difficult decisions.” “If it wasn’t for Tough Love I’d probably be crazy by now. I’ve made decisions I’d never (Continued on page 5)