The Mail-Journal, Volume 23, Number 46, Milford, Kosciusko County, 12 November 1986 — Page 7

Community Corner

Hope Sipress, David Rhodes married in Kansas Oct. 5

The new Mr. and Mrs. David Max Rhodes of Cherryvale, Kan., plan to be in Milford at Thanksgiving to greet friends and relatives. Miss Hope E. Sipress became the bride of David Max Rhodes on Sunday, Oct. 5, in a 2:30 p.m. ceremony in the Cherryvale Christian Church. The bride is the daughter of Gladys M. Bohn of Milford. The bridegroom is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Carlton Rhodes of r 2 Cherryvale. John Pommert of the Wood Hills Christian Church in Joplin, Mo., officiated at the single-ring ceremony. Hubert Hinton, minister of the Cherryvale (Church, assisted. About 150 persons were in attendance. Debbie Ellis of Cherryvale sang “Take My Life and Let It Be.” Diane Connor, also of Cherryvale, read a poem, “There’s No One Like You.” Judy Johson sang “You Are Flesh of My Flesh.” Marsha Wood of Cherryvale served as pianist. The bride wore a long dress of off-white with pink flowers, a gift of Sherry (Myers) Alt. She also wore a double pink corsage and carried a white Bible with a single artificial red rose. The bridegroom wore a navy blue suit. Miss Bev Horner of Joplin was the maid of honor. She wore a pink dress and carried a pink carnation. The bridesmaid was Kelly Burgess, also of Joplin. She wore a yellow dress and also carried a pink carnation. Steve Lahr of Cherryvale was test man. The groomsman was Brian Burgess of Joplin. Ushers were Greg Alt of Joplin and Bob

Humanly speaking — Adult children and their parents

I By DAVID L. ROGERS, B.D. | Director Community Services | Bowen Center “How do I care properly for my parents?” How do I respond in appreciation or approach my child with concerns?” These questions arq, frequently asked. Adult children want to be responsible in love yet do not want to be controlling, nor do they want to feel they need to “parent” these older adults. Older parents desire as much independence as is possible from them and sometimes fear a “takeover” by children who mean well and who are caring, but do not know the tiest way to be supportive and helpful. Recognize that questions are legitimate and that there can be great *value in talking about fears, uncertainties, expectations, needs and desires. Both the aging parent and adult child can Ijenefit from raising questions, such as, who am I?, what are my / values? and what do I want to get and to give in this relationship? After they have answered those Questions they can help one another by talking about them together. Focusing on the present can be much more productive than dwelling on the past or projecting into the long range future. Look at how much independence is possible for the older adult and develop ways that can be practiced. Consider factors in dependency. In what areas must the aging parent depend on the adult child for assistance? What is an agreeable division of responsibilities? This is not an easy time so it is of utmost importance that people in the relationship know themselves clearly and are willing to talk about their thoughts and feelings, their needs and their wants. This includes | LAKE CINEMAS STOUGH GUTS Burt Lancaster & pg Kirk Douglas Mon Ihru Thuts 7 30 16 & Sat 7 30 & 9 30 Sun 5 30 & 7 30 All Seats 52 00 Till 6 00 Or Sold Out HOOSIERS PG M<hi Ihru Thurs 7 00 In S Sat 7 00 & 9 20 Sun 5 00 & 7 20 aii beats 52 00 till 5 30 Or Sold Out PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED PG-13 Mon Thru Thurs 7 15 Frt 4 Sat 7 15 & 9 15 Sun 5 15 & 7 :15 AH Seats $2 00 TiH 5 45 Or Sold Out TOP GUN PG-13 Mon Thru Thurs 7 Fn &Sat 749 Sun 54 7 AH Seats $2 00 TiH 5 30 Or Sold Out

S! Bl H I B H B --**■ ■ B w ' H ImSK •** > %y* MR. AND MRS. DAVID RHODES

Macy of Cherryvale. Lighting the candles were Mandy and Brandy Lahr of Cherryvale. The flower girl was Connor of Cherryvale. She wore a pink dress and carried a basket of flowers. The bride was escorted down the aisle by C. J. Myers of Joplin. Because of weather conditions, the bride’s mother was unable to attend. The bridegroom’s mother chose a plaid pink and gray top and a light blue skirt for her son’s wedding. She wore a double pink

recognizing the changes that are taking place and the abilities that each has that can be used. It’s recognizing fears and weaknesses that are perceived and checking what is real. In such a discussion talking about conflicts may be necessary. Recognizing the freedom to ask for help and/or support may be needed. Some basics can be helpful. Everyone wants power over some decisions, if at all possible, and wants some autonomy. What one can do in taking care of himself/herself is valuable for self-esteem and dignity. Remember, everyone whether aging parent or adult child has the right and responsibility to expect and to offer consideration and communication, tenderness and nuturing, acceptance and response. To have the freedom for discussing things that one likes and things that he/she is bothered about in a relationship can be very helpful in opening doors to developing understanding and making decisions. Say, “I know this is not an easy time

FURTHER REDUCTIONS ON SELECTED FALL & WINTER FASHIONS

corsage. Mrs. Myers and Mrs. Alt were hostesses for the reception which followed. Barbara Burns of Cherryvale attended the guestbook. Mrs. Harold Coats made and decorated the cake. Following a wedding trip to Maui in the Hawaiian Islands, the couple is residing at 925 East Third, Cherryvale, Kan. 61335. The bridegroom is a mechanic. He won the honeymoon trip in a drawing held at a Cherryvale auto parts firm.

for you” or “How can we work things out to care for needs that we both have and feel reasonably good about it?” Communication is a key to relating as aging parents and adult children. The freedom to talk with a sensitivity to the other person, (putting oneself in that person’s place) can go a long way in planning a relationship for this time. Someone has said “All we can prepare for is change ... we can’t prepare for the world ‘then’.” Be prepared to talk and listen. Be positive. Be a user of “I” messages. Be specific. Be willing to laugh at oneself. Be willing to compromise. Be willing to accept and also to make changes. These years can provide a time for growing, for new appreciation of ties, for realizing valuable things about oneself and another. Sometimes it can be play. Often it is hard work. The Bowen Center has staff equipped to work with* persons facing changes or who wish to explore new dimensions in family relationship. Call 267-7169 or toll free 1-800-342-5653

Install Smoke Detectors dreams can go up in smoke. MB * •* If -- - @ National Safety Council

Meals for older Americans

Meals for Older Americans are served each day at the following locations: The Scout Cabin, Syracuse; the Pierceton Community Building; Mentone Community Room in the fire station; the Retired Tigers Center, 320 W. Main, Warsaw; and Packerton Community Building. Meals for Older Americans is for persons 60 years or older and is a chance to meet new friends and enjoy hot, nutritional meals. The sites are opened several hours each day including noon for programs. Meals for Older Americans is not associated with welfare but is for the promotion for tetter health for the older population. Donations are accepted for the meals. The site directors request all persons planning on attending the meals to make reservations by 1 p.m. the day prior to attending. Phone 457-2631 for Syracuse transportation and reservations. November 13-19 THURSDAY - Grapefruit juice, stuffed cabbage roll w/tomato sauce, mixed vegetables, cottage cheese w/chives, pumpernickel bread w/margarine, pineapple rings, milk, tea, and coffee FRIDAY — Peach nectar, double chicken, scalloped potatoes, green beans, rye bread w/margarine. yellow birthday cake, milk, tea, and coffee MONDAY — Pineapple juice, breaded fish square w/tartar sauce, buttered peas, marinated cucumbers, cracked wheat bread w/margarine, strawberry mousse, milk, tea, and coffee TUESDAY — Orange juice, vegetable soup w/crackers, egg salad sandwich on whole wheat bread w/margarine, peach slices, oatmeal cookie, milk, tea, and coffee WEDNESDAY - Grapefruit juice, baked pork chop, rice pilaf, steamed carrots, rye bread w/margarine, fresh red apple, milk, tea, and coffee

Senior Citizens hold Thanksgiving dinner

The Milford Senior Citizens met on Sunday, Nov. 9, in the community building for their Thanksgiving dinner. Hosts for the occasion, Mr. and Mrs. Darrell Orn and Anna Cain, arranged for the tables to be decorated in a Thanksgiving motif. A Thanksgiving meditation was given by President Florence Duncan, followed by a grace of thanks for the meal. After dining, Darlene Miller introduced Mrs. Norma Roose of North Webster and her son, Dick, and his family. They provided a musical program on the four seasons of the year. Mrs. Duncan then led the group in the Pledge to the Flag. “Happy Anniversary" was sung to Mr. and Mrs. Sharkey of Nappanee. Officers elected for the coming are as follows — president, Marie Stevenson; vice president, Kahte Antonides; secretary, Erma Chambers; and treasurer, Don Ahrns. The door prize was won by

Louisa's LETTER

Dear Louisa, I am a high school girl and very much in love with a boy of my own age. I would like to get married but this boy I am going with is planning to go to college and he will have to work to help pay his way. I have tried to persuade him to take a job when he finishes school so we won’t have to wait four years. Don’t you think that he would do this if he really loved me? K.D.-N.Y. Answer: You are very foolish to try to persuade this young man to give up his chance for an education in order to take a job that he will be unhappy doing. After the first few months, he would probably be discontented and blame all the troubles that came his way on you. To begin with he is certainly young to take on the responsibility of a wife and family and while both of you may fed . now .that there will never be another per-

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Martha Wuthrich. There were 55 members and guests present. ’ The Kiwanis Club will entertain the Milford Senior Citizens on Sunday, Dec. 14. In charge of table decorations for that evening will be Mr. and Mrs. Woodrow Free. Mobile Meals drivers Volunteer drivers for Syracuse Mobile Meals have been scheduled for the week of November 17-21. They are as follows: November 17-21 MONDAY — Win Sroufe TUESDAY- F. A. Rhoads WEDNESDAY - Dorothy Kitson THURSDAY - Ken and Mary Jane Bowton FRIDAY — Paul Yeager

son in your lives, it may be so and it may not! At any rate, if you are both truly in love you will stay that way, for a few years even though you are not married. On the other hand, if either of you realizes that you have grown apart and that your taste in your ideal of the other sex has changed, it will be much tetter to find it out before you are married than afterwards. A boy of seventeen is too young to marry and the fact that this boy has to depend on himself to make a living makes it even more unwise. Be glad that your friend has sense enough to know the value of an education. Louisa — S.S. benefits The nation’s 37.4-million Social Security beneficiaries next January will find the smallest raise ever in their checks: 1.3 percent, or $6 a month for the typical retired worker.

Wed., November 12,1986 — THE MAIL-JOURNAL

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ACROSS: 1 Cartoon girl (with 40 Across) 5 Cooler 8 Busy a5.... 12 Roy or Orson 13 Mil. unit 14 Punch 15 Snarl 17 Movie plantation 18 Retreat 19 Image 20 Hooded snake 23 Arena 25 Philippine buffalo 26 Actress Anna 28 Sass 31 Pair 32 Patriotic Allen 33 ... trice 34 Concorde, for one 35 Russian city 36 ....Spumante 37 Trig function 39 Role player 40 See 1 Across 42 NCO, for short 45 Pound the poet 46 Boot insert 50 Coin of Iran 51 US zone 52 First rate 53 Dandies 54 Emergency code 55 Onion’s cousin

DUST & SON DECORATORS painting INSURED INTERIOR • EXTERIOR CDCC FQTIMA TFQ RESIDENTIAL - COMMERCIAL HfC C t O I IMA ICO 457-2313 Quality Workmanship Syracuse

DOWN: 1 Recede 2 Oolong, for one 3 Tic, ...,toe 4 Angora, earlier 5 Jewish month 6 ....Arnaz 7 Intangible 8 Patty Duke 9 Boycott 10 Walleroo 11 Actor Richard 16 Meadow 20 Bounders 21 Burden 22 Footwear loop 24 Hotel 26 Emphasizes 27 Article 29 Involved in 30 Couple 32 Epoch 36 A solvent 38 Slanted letters: abbr. 39 Ripen 40 Saw cut 41 Singer Pinza 43 Expression of discovery 44 Decomposes 47 Eggs 48 Comp. pt. 49 Comic scream (Answers on page 19)

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