The Mail-Journal, Volume 23, Number 44, Milford, Kosciusko County, 29 October 1986 — Page 7

Community Corner

'I your time'

Death, be not proud

I had been friends with Pat more than a year before I began to hear pieces of her story — how she lost a sister and father in just five weeks’ time. And that’s just the beginning! Because I think her story is inspiring as well as moving, I’ve asked her to tell it. Thirteen years ago. I was 19, married, mother of a toddler. My husband and I were living in the community where I had grown up. My older sister was also married and living in another state. One afternoon I was helping my mother and father when there was a phone call: my sister “had been involved in an accident and it was very senous and my mother needed to come to South Carolina right away! ” My sister died without regaining consciousness. I remember her funeral mainly for the loving care of that community. My sister and I were like most, we had our share of rivalries while we growing up. However, I did have a time right before she died where we went to visit and I spent some time with her. That was really a special time. We had a real intimate conversation about our lives and the direction they were taking. I have that to look back at and feel good about. But I was pretty angry about the fact that I really didn’t get to know her; I had that one time with her and then it was all taken away. We tried to go on as though things were pretty normal, but there is just that void — one is missing. My mother was a very strong person in her religious faith and she seemed to cling to that almost

Trick-or-treat in your own backyard for a stress-free Halloween

I By BETSY HENRICKS Guest Feature Writer No doubt about it, Halloween “ain’t what it used to be.” Most of us over 30 recall trick-or-treating from door to door with a gang of good friends (no parents). We. snacked happily, and indiscriminately. from our bags as we went along, never thinking there might be drugs in our candy bars or razor blades in the caramel apples. Poisoned fruit came only from witches in fairy tales, never from neighbors down the block. I don’t remember my parents ever “checking” treats, except* - * possibly to note the size of my haul and insist that I not devour it all at one time. . For the most part, trick-or-treating is still safe, still October’s most exciting event. But media attention to cruel and bizarre occurrences over the past few years has made a lot of us wary. We wouldn’t dream of sending our children out alone, and we stick to homes of people we know; or, as suggested on a Halloween episode of “Cosby,” we give each child two sacks — one for treats from family friends and one for treats from strangers. For our children, Halloween goes hand-in-hand with precautions. Watch out for traffic. Avoid strangers. Let parents check all candy before you eat it. Get home before dark, etc. Essential as those ’rules are, they taint what should be just plain fun with the gnawing fear of genuine danger. Partly to take the anxiety out of Halloween for ourselves and our kids, and partly in revolt against the truly ghoulish masks and ccstumes on sale each fall, we Wormburgers? What animal is earning a reputation as a fertilizer, garbage disposer and source of protein? According to International Wildlife magazine, the earthworm, of which there are some 3,000 species, will eat through all kinds of organic waste and recycle them as fertilizer. In addition, for every 10 pounds of garbage that earthworms consume, they produce a pound of meat that tastes like chicken. Although scattered tribes around the world have traditionally eaten worms, exjaerts that it’s unlikely the wormburger will every replace the hamburger on our menus.

to the point that it was unusual or unreal. But my father had never been able to verbalize his feelings. One evening as I was leaving from their home, he came out to the car and strapped my daughter into the car seat and kissed her on the forehead. I was not accustomed to him showing affection that way and it just sort of surprised me, and came around to the car on my side and said, “I love you guys so much but I just don’t know how to tell you.” Os course, tears were streaming and I was just really moved by him being able to verbalize that after all those years. My father had high blood pressure and was taking medication to control it. I think he just lost interest in life. He stopped taking his medication, and it wasn’t long after that he had a cerebral hemorrhage and he died. At the age of 42 he was gone! I often look back at it as though our bodies switched into automatic pilot. It was like we were going through a tunnel and we couldn’t go backward; we couldn’t turn around or get out of it. We all helped plan my Dad’s funeral, chose songs that he enjoyed and remembered things that he liked ... It was almost like a repeat of my sister’s funeral, but with a different person and a lot more questions: How are we going to go on? What’s it going to do to our family’ In the next months, my mother’s personality and behavior took a sharp turn and

decided last year to trick-or-treat in our own backyard. Along with out next door neighbors, we threw a fall party, outdoors at night, on our combined properties which total three acres. (A big. many-acred farm would be better yet). We invited seven families, all of whom dressed up as characters from nursery rhymes or familiar children’s stopes. We had the gingerbread man, the three little pigs, humpty dujnpty, and more. Each family brought jack-o-lanterns and treats for all the children. i After dark (and a hot dog roast), the adults spread out —as far apart from one another as possible — and each one lit a jack-o-lantern to mark his place. Then the children trooped around from pumpkin to pumpkin, trick-or-treating at each stop. On a larger property, with 20 or 30 adults, it could take nearly an hour for kids to make the rounds. Our children thrilled to the magic of walking outdoors in the dark without a grown-up. It is, after all, their special night, an enchanted time when kids have the upper hand (“Treat us or well trick you!”). Their only fears should be the spine-tinglers sparked by active imaginations, moonlit shadows, and wind rustling the dry, autumn leaves. When all the treats had been collected, we lit a bonfire and relaxed around it, munching and singing. There were bowls of popcorn and jugs of hot, spiced cider. Jack-o-lanterns still winked at us from various spots around the vard. It didn’t rain. About time About time to begin raking up the grandeur of another autumn. Then the brief respite, before shoveling the glory of winter. — Journal, Milwaukee.

North Webster Fire Dept. & EMS Benefit SAL FAMOUS SMOKED AND BARBECUED BABY BACK RIBS November 1 12 Noon-8 P.M. At American Legion Post 253 Eat In Or Carry Out Full Slab $ A Dinner KB Half Slab Dinner Tickets Available From SAL, American Legion, Fire Dept, or EMS Members Suygert Our Coowowrity VdhnfMrs

she became like a stranger. I became very resentful and very angry because, now that I look back, I think I wanted it to be the way it was before my father died. I guess I had my mother on a pedestal. She was this perfect image of motherhood and she would never do anything that would jeopardize that role that I had put her in, and all of a sudden I began to see her as a woman. I think I discovered that at that point I was a pretty judgmental person. My husband and I decided to move out of state, giving ourselves time and space to develop our own lives. We found jobs were satisfying and a church in which we found warm and encouraging friends. Our faith in God grew and continued to sustain us. However, my mother and I continued to struggle through more traumas and losses. There was a point where I couldn’t even talk to her. I had an opportunity to do some counseling, and that helped me realize that I am not the only one that goes through anger and resentment towards another person because someone else had died and has changed your way you see your family. Because of what she has gone through, my mother has also had some counseling. We spend time together now. Thirteen years from that first awful phone call and I can say with confidence that my mother and I have a better relationship now than we did 13 years ago. For a free copy of "Pat s Story" write to. Margaret Foth. PO. Box 22. Harrisonburg, Va 22801.

I felt like we gave Halloween back to the kids last fall, and the grown-ups had a wonderful time, too. Nearly everyone of them has asked me, hopefully, if we re going to do it again this year. You bet we are! Who Knows? 1. What does the foreign phrase “Nil Admirari” mean? 2. Where is the Mojave Desert located? 3. When did Alaska become one of the United States? 4 What is the state flower of Alaska? 5. The Miracle Worker was a film about what famous lady? 6. When it’s fall in the Northern Hemisphere, what is it in the Southern Hemisphere? 7. What is an addax? Amwwi To Who Fbow mujV JO SJJOSOp 3ip ui S3Al[ ipiqM adopjue uy •£ *3uuds *9 U3 PH S •)ou-aui-p3joj y 6561 ‘£ Arenuirf y eiujojifej aioqjnos ui S3|iui arenbs 000‘SI ‘Z *3uiqjou ic paqsiuojsß aq o| [

ANNOUNCEMENT AUDITIONS Will be held for parts in the Christmas Show “The Butterfingers Angel, Mary & Joseph, Herod The Nut and The Slaughter of 12 Hit Caroles In A Pear Tree" by William Gibson, author of "The Miracle Worker." AUDITIONS HELD 0N... SATURDAY a SUNDAY, NOV. 1 a 2,2 P.M. At The "New" Power Plant Theatre South Chauncey St., Columbia City AH Igos Os Em A Women An Needed ChfldrmNmtßellYtaiiOrOlder \ Volunteers For Work In Technical Aspects Os The Show Are Also Needed To Come To The Auditions

yl « CELEBRATE 50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY — Mr. and Mrs. Harold Wichern of Sechrist Lake will celebrate their 50th anniversary on October 31. Wichern is the son of Henry and Dorothy Wichern of Fort Wayne. Mrs. Wichern (Helen) is the daughter of William and Bessie Cook of Hartford City.' On October 31.1936, the couple was married in the parsonage of the Zion Lutheran Church of Fort Wayne by Dr. Paul Dannefeldt. They have one son, Ronald L. Wichern and two granddaughters. Mrs. Angela Cortese and Wendy Wichern. !, Mr. and Mrs. Wichern are both retirees of Allied Mills, Inc., of Fort Wayne. They are members of Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church in Syracuse.

AARP views health quotient program

Josephine Hopkins, president, opened the October meeting of Chapter 1766 of the American Association of Retired Persons held recently at the First Christian Church in Warsaw. Helen Smith gave the prayer and all members repeated the pledge to the flag. Myrtle Anglin presented a tape/slide program on “The Health followed by a measure members’ health quotients. A booklet on “Strategies for Good Health” was given to those present, along with a book about exercises for persons over 60. Exercises included balance and exer cise from a wheel chair. Peg Fox eave the secretary’s report and Edna Davis gave the

LOUISA'S LETTER

Dear Louisa. My wife has a quick temper and I think the things she says are probably harmful to the children. When she becomes provoked, her favorite word is stupid. She will say, “Stupid, don’t you know better than that?” or "What makes you so stupid. ’ ’ I think a child should have his opinion of himself built up and not torn down. What do you think about this? The Father — S.D. Answer: The best way to encourage a child to be stupid or to be bad is to accuse him of being stupid or bad. The more you do this, the easier it will be for him to lose confidence in himself. Most deadly enemy What is man’s most deadly enemy in the wildlife world? The lion? — no. The polar bear? — no. According to National Wildlife magazine, mosquitoes may be man’s deadliest foe. They deploy parasites that cause malaria and kill one million people a year in Africa alone. They are also responsible for high death rates in India, Pakistan, Asia, Central America and the Caribbean islands.

treasurer's report. The legislative chairman, Ruthie Menzie, gave a report on Medicare. HMO and insurance, along with information on the AARP Investment Program from Scudder. Stevens and Clark. Cleo Flowers told about the House Bill HR 4300-Family Medical Leave Act 1986. Eleanor Shue, community service chairman, announced the "Sound of Music" December 17. She listed the day-by-day itineraries of AARP tours of capitals and countryside tour of western Europe, tour of Alaska and cruise of the inside passage, tour of Hawaii and Arizona and the great southwest. A full-time AARP tour manager accompanies each group

I once knew a mother whose small girl was an ordinary looking child but her mother had convinced her that she was beautiful and talented and she really gave off that illusion of herself because she thought it was true. One of the most important things in our lives is to respect ourselves and to believe that we are worthy people and that we are doing the best we can for ourselves and for others. This makes for poise and peace of mind. This doesn’t mean that we should try to convince others of this by words but merely by the way we live and our attitudes to situations and people. Never call a child stupid unless you wish him to become stupid.

JChS.

WAW AMI COMMUNITY SCHOOL CONDONATION SCHOOL WAN CANDIDATE * MEMBER OF THE COMMUNITY IRANBYIBOUIN FORM YEARS * ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN f SCHOOL FUNCTIONS 14 YEARS I ■ ‘ LOCAL BUSINESS OWNER ■ 1969 GRADUATE HOMEWOOD - FLOSSMOORE HIGH SCHOOL 1973 GRADUATE EASTERN ILLINOIS UNIVEBITT . -BS IN BUSINESS MANAGEMENT . J| ■ IHSAA LICENSED OFFICIAL I feel that it is time for a fresh approach to the problems in our school corporation. Since I have been involved in many aspects of the school's activities for the past 14 years, I feel I have the background needed to make intelligent decisions which will be in the best interest of our children. If given the opportunity to serve on the board of trustees, I promise to face each issue with honesty, integrity and sincerity. TIM M Hr By RanW (■»*») » 1 8,1 67 “** 4 * 46542

Nome Williams chairman New volunteer leaders for the campaign for “Indiana” have been named in nine counties of northern and southern Indiana, said Jerry Tardy, executive director of the campaign and vice president for development at the Indiana University Foundation. Members of the campaign staff are currently working in 20 Indiana counties, seeking support for the university’s statewide system. In Bartholomew County, John A. Nash is chairman of the 17-member volunteering steering committee. Chairman of the board of Irwin Union Corp., Nash received a bachelor of science degree in 1960 and a Master of Business Administration degree in 1961. “I agree (to serve) enthusiastically,” Nash said, “because I am convinced that substantial private support is required for the university to maintain its standard of excellence. I am proud of my alma mater and want to se it maintained and enhance its position as a worldclass university. ” Serving as volunteer chairman for Kosciusko County is Robert J. Williams, consultant and retired president of DePuy. Inc. "We must love men ere they will seem worthy of our love." William Shakespeare

Eleanor Shue also announced that the Beaman Home is in need of volunteers, and Pauline Fawley reported on the illness and cards sent. Florence Miller gave information on how to dress for winter and the activities for senior in cold weather. She advised that members watch the temperature and wind chill. kt was reported that on November 5, at 1 p.m., at the Fort Wayne Library, an area meeting on the latest policy for nursing home care will be held. Peg Fox also reported on a recent meeting of the Council on Age and Aging. The next meeting will be November 17.

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Smart turtles Most turtles deserve their timid reputations, hastily withdrawing their heads, feet and tails into their shells at the slightest sign of danger. But, according to National Wildlife magazine, this act of cowardice has paid off. While more aggressive reptiles, such as dinosaurs, have died out, turtles have thrived for some 250 million years on every continent but Antarctica. Maybe the dinosaurs would still be with us today, if they, like the turtles, had carried their homes with them.

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Wed., October 29,1986 — THE MAIL-JOURNAL

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ACROSS: 1 Ring win 4 Poses 8 Abie’s brother 12 Massachusetts cape 13 Bard 14 Ancient riddle 15 Muscle twitch 16 Caesar’s road 17 ..... Priminger 18 Gain advantage 21 Little one: suffix 22 Resident: suffix 23 Sort 25 Edible fruit 27 ... Man 30 Antique autos 31 Volcanic matter 32 Horde 33 Writer Fleming 34 Tie 35 Scan 36 Kindled 37 Building wing 38 Silent 45 .... Major 46 Croatian 47 .. . Hammarskjold 48 Spies: abbr. 49 Actress Swenson 50 Italian high note 51 For fear that 52 Doer: suffix 53 Japanese coin

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DOWN: 1 Uses a shuttle 2 Heal 3 a time 4 Tap spout 5 Tittle 6 Swarm 7 Upright 8 Singing Jim 9 Genuine: abbr. 10 Within 11 Lighted sign 19 Pub quaffs 20 Prerogatives: abbr 23 Three: prefix 24 .. . though I walk 25 Medley 26 Equal, prefix 27 Intros 28 Doctors* alliance 29 Dancer Charice 32 Singer Guthrie 34 Historical Carson 36 Lesser 37 Stop 38 Feature: abbr. 39 Encourage 40 Adherents: suffix 41 Transmitted 42 Jason’s ship 43 Auction, for one 44 Richard, of movies (Answers on page 22)

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