The Mail-Journal, Volume 23, Number 12, Milford, Kosciusko County, 19 March 1986 — Page 6

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THE MAIL-JOURNAL—Wed., March 19,1986

Community Corner

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OPEN HOUSE — Mr. and Mrs. George (Laura) Coquillard, Jr., 113 W. Carroll St, Syracuse, will celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary with an open house Sunday, March 23, from 3-6 p.m. in the couple’s home. Hosting the open house will be the couple’s children, George Coquillard 111, Cromwell; Mrs. Rodney (Sheryl) Bartman and Mrs. Brian (Tammy) Knisley, both of Syracuse. The couple also has four grandchildren. Coquillard and the former Laura Newcomer were united in marriage on March 3, 1961, in the Church of God, Syracuse. Rev. Yeager performed the ceremony. Coquillard is employed at Holly Park, Shipshewana and Mrs. Coquillard is employed as manager at the Pacer Mart, Syracuse.

Women's clubs to hold convention

The Kosciusko County Federation of Women’s Clubs will met in their 68th Annual Convention, Thursday, March 20, in the Shrine Building on the Kosciusko County Fairgrounds, Warsaw. Registration is scheduled for 3: 30 p.m. to 4:15 p.m. with the opening session beginning at 4:15 p.m. Dinner will be served at 6 p.m. The Warsaw Reading Club and

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- the ESO Literature Club will be n the hostess clubs. i, e Mrs. John H. McFarland, o Syracuse, county president, has announced the program title as 0 “Little Bear,” presented by g representatives of the Kosciusko . County Mental Health Organiza- . tion. The Kosciusko Players will i be featured.

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ACROSS: 1 Capital of Morocco 6 Actor Karloff 11 Delight 12 By oneself 13 his time 14 Automobile 15 Verbal contraction 16 Foot part 18 Gridiron man 19 Singer John 21 Does garden work 22 Proverb 24 Pastry piece 27 Os a religious observance 31 Ginger... 32 Employ 33 ...deFrance 34 West Pointer 36 Global areas 38 Likeness 39 Build 40 Holding tools 41 Take a breather

(Answers on page 15)

DOWN: 1 Make a second offer 2 Active 3 German state 4 Had a snack 5 Tried out 6 Despicable 7 Cadiz cheer 8 Cowboy carnival 9 Senseless 10 Dispatches 17 Examinations 20 Large container 21 Barnyard fowl 23 Odd man 24 Silent 25 Texan shrine 26 Fortification 28 Sharp prongs 29 Choose 30 Birds 32 Western redskins 35 Incite 37 Mining product

Tough love is a place for parents to share

By MARK HUFFMAN Staff Writer “We want parents to know that they’re not alone, drug use among children is not just a national problem, it’s local as well,” commented Gary Mitchell, spokesman for the Syracuse Toughlove project. “We have the same problems in Milford, North Webster, Syracuse and Warsaw that they do in the larger cities, such as New York, and we’re making an attempt to educate people about this growing problem,” Mitchell added. t Toughlove is a self-help organization, designed to acquaint parents with the choices children of all ages are faced with regarding the use of drugs and alcohol. The program also urges the parent to accept the fact that their child could, or does, have a problem and helps them deal with it through community and professional support. The program was the creation of Phyllis and David York, parents of three grown daughters, who formed it out of their own frustration and helplessness. Though they were trained family therapists and worked with troubled teenagers and their families, they found themselves in the same dilemma as their clients. The Yorks and their Toughlove staff train parents and professionals in the toughlove philosophy and structure. A parent’s manual, written by the Yorks, is a self-help book with ideas for parents to instill in their family. “We don’t guarantee anything, we’re just there to assist the

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WILL SPEAK AT DINNER — Jill Long, a Warsaw native currently residing at Valparaiso, will be one of the speakers at the Jefferson-Jackson Day dinner that will be held at the Shrine Building, Kosciusko County Fairgrounds, on March 22. Social hour will be at 6 p.m. with dinner at 7 p.m. She is a candidate for U. S. Senator on the Democratic ticket. She is a 1970 graduate of Columbia City Joint High School, Columbia City. Since January 1981, she has been professor of business administration at Valparaiso University. She has a degree in doctor of philosophy, business, and master of business administration, both from Indiana University, and a bachelor of science degree in business administration from Valparaiso University. From August to December of 1980, Long was lecturer at the school of business; assistant instructor, school of business, from August 1977 through August 1980; placement counselor, business placement office from August 1976 through May 1977, all at Indiana University; and admissions counselor at Valparaiso University from May 1974 through August 1976. Long is owner of a farming operation in Whitley County and is an associate of Campbell and Pryor and Associates, management consulting firm in Michigan City. Since January 1984, she has been on the Valparaiso City Council. She is a member of American Marketing Association, Beta Gamma Sigma (academic honorary), and Alpha Mu Alpha ( marketing honorary).

UNCLE ARCH Wants you — to purchase your Easter & baked goods at the BAKE SALE MWrM SATURDAY, MARCH 29 9 A. M.-Sold Out > Milford Community Building Proceeds go towards the campaign of Arch Baumgartner for mayor of Milford, (a sesquicentennial fundraiser)

parent in any way we can,’* Mitchell explained, adding, “We’re not professionals, although we cooperate with that group and encourage them to take part, but are a group of parents that has had problems w suspects problems with our children.” < Those “children’* are not limited to a specific age group either, according to Mitchell, who notes that parents of children aged eight to 30 years old regularly attend the weekly meetings, which take place every Thursday at 7 p.m. in the Lakeland Youth Center, Syracuse. There is no fee to the program and all parents are welcome, regardless of whether or not they feel a problem exists in their family. Syracuse Program Founded Started 'with the help of Ruth Angle, counselor at Wawasee High School, and Syracuse residents Tom Prickett and Jim and Judy Morgan, the local program has “mushroomed” to include up to 45 people at its weekly meeting, although eight to 12 is the norm. “We usually have a check-in period at 7 p.m., where we go over any problems that may have occurred since the last meeting and then if we have an invited guest he’ll make a brief presentation and answer questions,” Mitchell said, explaining the proceedings. “We also set a ‘bottom line’ at each meeting, establishing a goal for the next week — which can be simply to have a parent give more positive strokes to a child or could also be a major decision a parent has to make, such as seeking professionalhelp.” Mitchell admits that the biggest obstacle the group faces is getting adults to admit that their child may have a problem. “Parents have to get over feeling guilty about the situation,” he said, adding, “There is no one solution to drug and alcohol problems; rather, it’s a multitude of solutions;” Proper information about chemical dependency isn’t getting out to the youth, according to Mitchell, and with this program it’s hoped that more viable advice can be distributed. “A chemical dependency problem can extend throughout one’s life if not properly dealt with,” Mitchell advised, adding, “We’re not here to displace a kid from his home, but are here to help deal with the problem and establish guidelines for the family to help them get along.” While the program caters to the parent, Mitchell emphasized that the group does not afix the blame to the child that is afflicted. “We’re not making judgments, we’re just there to help,” he remarked. With that help necessitating compromise on the part of both parties (parent and child), Toughlove also hopes to develop a youth support group, “run by young people,” to help school students deal with increasing peer pressures to use drugs and alcohol. “We need to find someone who students can relate to that has time to spend with them,” Mitchell added. In the meantime, Toughlove has broadened its program to include listings for over 1,500 groups throughout the world, dedicated to helping families deal with the escalating problem of drug and alcohol use among children in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles — and even the Syracuse area. The 10 Beliefs Os Toughlove 1. Family problems have roots and supports in the culture. 2. Parents are people too. 3. Parents’ material and emotional resources are limited. 4. Parents and kids are not equal. 5. Blaming keeps people helpless. 6. Kids’, behavior affects parents. Parents’ behavior affectskids. * 7. Taking a stand precipitates a crisis. 8. From “controlled” crisis comes positive change. 9. Families need to give and get support in their own community in order to change. 10. The essence of family life is cooperation, not togetherness.

CALENDAR Week Os March 19 To March 26 » WEDNESDAY , Al-Anon 9 a.m., in North Webster Church of God AZBbKA 12 noon, in Syracuse Church of God Syracuse Lions Club asZ' 6:30 p.m., in the Beacon Elkhart County 4-H Cat Club 7 p.m., in the lower level of the Community Building on the Elkhart County Fairgrounds, Goshen. There will be an election of officers. Twilighters Bunco Club 7:30 p.m. Lutheran Church Women 7:30 p.m., in Syracuse Grace Lutheran Church |U’ c “ju Psi lota XI 7:30p.m. \ / Syracuse J aycees 7:30p.m., in Lakeland Eagles Al-Anon 7:30 p.m., in Saint Andrew’s United Methodist Church, Syracuse Alcoholics Anonymous 7:30 p.m., in Wawasee Episcopal Center, All Saints Episcopal Church, south shore of Lake Wawasee, one-half mile east of South Shore Golf Club on Vernon Road Al-Anon 7:30 p.m. in Sacred Heart Church, Warsaw THURSDAY Ebenezer Ladies Aid 2 P- m - ‘ North Webster Lady Lions •* v 7 p.m., in North Webster United Methodist Church Milford Volunteer Firemen yQI 7 p.m., in Milford Fire Station VWawasee Community Toughlove 7 p.m., in Lakeland Youth Center, Syracuse. Parent support group for parents troubled by their teenagers behavior. Adult, Children of Alcoholics >. 7:30 p.m., in North Webster United Methodist Church North Webster American Legion Auxiliary 8 p.m., in Legion Hall FRIDAY Milford Kiwanis 6:45 a.m., in Milford Community Building Alcoholics Anonymous 7:30 p.m., in Wawasee Episcopal Center, All Saints Episcopal Church, south shore of Lake Wawasee, one-half mile east of South Shore Golf Club on Vernon Road Alcoholics Anonymous 8 p.m., in Saint Andrew’s United Methodist Church, Syracuse SATURDAY iPtfe Wawasee Kiwanis ' 7 a.m., in Gropp’s, Syracuse ' - SUNDAY Alcoholics Anonymous 10 a.m., in North Webster Fite Station AA, Al-Anon and Aloteen 8 p.m., in North Webster United Methodist Church MONDAY Lakeland Kiwanis 6:45 a.m., in North Webster Church of God meeting room FOE Men’s Meeting Aerie 3760 7 p.m., in Lakeland Eagles, 404 Sycamore St., Syracuse Al-Anon 7:30 p.m., in Milford United Methodist Church Columbian Reading 7:30 p.m. TUESDAY Syracuse-Wawasee Rotary • ' tfEzrrwV 12 noon, in the Beacon Restaurant ‘ffifrrtgP Syracuse Park Board 7:15 p.m., in Syracuse Town Hall, open to the public Wawasee American Legion Auxiliary 7:30 p.m., in the Legion Hall WEDNESDAY Al-Anon 9 a.m., in North Webster Church of God AA 12 noon, in Syracuse Church of God North Webster Park Board 4 p.m., in the North Webster Town Hall/Fire Station Syracuse Fire Department Regular Meeting 7 p.m., in the fire station Eagles Auxiliary Meeting Aerie 3760 7 p.m., in Lakeland Eagles, 404 Sycamore St., Syracuse Alcoholics Anonymous „ . 7:30 p.m., in Wawasee Episcopal Center, All Saints Episcopal Church, south shore of Lake Wawasee, one-half mile east of South Shore Golf Club on Vernon Road 7:30 p.m., in Saint Andrew’s United Methodist Church, Syracuse Al-Anon 7:30 p.m., in Sacred Heart Church, Warsaw Meals for Older Americans-

Meals for Older Americans are served each day at the following locations: The Scout Cabin, Syracuse; the Pierceton Community Building; Mentone Community Room in the fire station; the Retired Tigers Center, 320 W. Main, Warsaw; and Packerton Community Building. Meals for Older Americans is for persons 60 years or older and is a chance to meet new friends and enjoy hot, nutritional meals. The sites are opened several hours each day including noon for programs. Meals for Older Americans is not associated with welfare but is for the promotion for better health for the older population. Donations are accepted for the meals. , The site directors request all persons planning on attending the meals to make reservations by 1 p.m. the day prior to attending. Phone 457-2631 for Syracuse transportation and reservations.

March 20-26 THURSDAY — Cranberry juice, stuffed green pepper, lima beans, pumpernickel bread w/margarine, filled donut, milk, tea, and coffee FRIDAY — Apricot juice, chili, cheese and crackers, molded lime vegetable gelatin, sugar cookie, milk, tea^and coffee MONDAY — Chef’s selection, juice, entree, vegetable or salad, bread w/margarine, dessert, milk, tea, and coffee TUESDAY — Vegetable cocktail juice, meatballs and gravy, fluffy rice, broccoli, whole wheat bread w/margarine, red apple, milk, tea, and coffee WEDNESDAY — Orangegrapefruit juice, baked chicken quarter, sage dressing and gravy, gingerale fruit salad, cracked wheat bread w/margarine, oatmeal cookie, milk, tea, and coffee