Terre Haute Weekly Gazette, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 4 June 1885 — Page 9

A *AT CATCHING B008TCR.

A lllrd, Accordiug to the K*n»«r, Uannot be Matched. [New York Sun.]

"I was making a trip through Sullivan county last week," said John Gilbert, the traveling man, "and driving by a baru on a farm near Sackett pond I saw a lot of rat airing nailed on the side of it. stopped and counted 'em. There were 21. "Hallo 1" I shouted to the farmer, who wai at work near the barn. "What do yoa do with these rat skins?" 'NothinY *aid he. 'Them*» Snori «r''» scalps.' tfw.?" 'Oh!' 1 said. 'Snorter's yoiii dog 'No, he ain't,' replied tlm farmer. 'Snorter's my boss rooster.' 'You don't mean to say you've got a chicken that kills rats!" I said. ,..v 'Them's his skins,' said the farmer. "Well, if there was a rat killing rooster in the country 1 wanted to see it, so I asked the farmer if he would show him to me. He said he would, and I jumpsd out of my wagou and went with him. He took me around to another barnyard and pointed out the rocstor among a flock of hens and other roosters.

The

ratter was a big red rooster,

standing at least two feet high, and looking as

if he might

bo strong enough to get away

with a i'ox. 'Ducno what his pedigree is,' said the farmer. 'I bought an old hen three years ago with a brood of three-weeks-old chickens. The Snorter was one of 'em, and there he is. 1 dunno how many more rats he's killed than the 21 on the barn, for it's only a year ago that I found out that he was aratter. I was walkin' along by the yard here one day when I heard a great cacklin' 'mongst the chickens, and the loud squealin' of a rat that there wasn't no doubt was in trouble. I looked an' see that the big rooster was tuggin' away like mad at a vat's tail, which he bad ketched as the rat was skippin' into a bole under the bam. After two or three steady Jerks out came Mr. Hat, an' quicker than I kin tell ye the rooster slung it over his head and slapped it with all hi might agin' that big stone by the side o' the barn.

li.-tHn.

HE WHACKED IT THRU TIMM

An' then chucked the rat away. There wa'n't no more life nor backbone left in it than there is in a wet dishrag. Since then we've found 20 more big rata in the yard. Every time we found one we'd find afresh spatterin' o' blood on the big stone, and so we know'd that Snorter had done it. So we nailed their skins on the barn as we got 'em, and they're known all over the county as Snorter's scalps.' '"Old Snorter won't bave no flghtin' goin' on 'round his premises that he don't do hisself. Sometimes some o' the young roosters tries to settle some ghidge by a little spavrin' match 'twixt themselves, bat if the old boss is around he breaks that fight up. He jist slides over to where the young fellows is whackin' away at one another, and swats one this way and t'other one that way, and jaws and swears at 'em as good as if be spoke English. The other day he broke up a fight, but he hadn't no sooner walked away when the two youngstefs wentatitag'in, tooth and

fence with him and dropjiin' him on t'other side. He kep' that rooster outside all day, and the next day everything was as peaceable as a Sunday-school picnic. 'He's a queer old cuss about family matters, too. When a hen hatches out her brood, she's got to pass the whole lot of 'em

IN REVIEW BEFORE HIM.

"And he looks after them like a father, chastising them if they do not behave just right. This rather breaks the hens all up, and so we have to take all the old hens with chickens and put 'em away by themselves. "I noticed that there was a big patch of feathers missing from the rooster's back, and that they were pretty well thinned out on his neck ahd one wing. I asked the farmer what had caused the damage. 'Big chicken hawk,' said the farmer. 'That was the nicest little fight I ever sea Last week one of the biggest hawks that ever lived Was hangin' round here, sailin' about most of the time with his eye on my barnyard. One day I stood over in that field there, when all of a suddint I see sumpin' drappin' down out o' the sky like a big stone square in the direction of the barnyard. In a second I know'd it was that old hawk, and I started on a run for the yard. When I got there the allilredest hullabaloo was goin' on among the chickens that I ever listened to, and there was the Snorter with his jaws fastened on that hawk's neck, and jist a 1 if tin' him in tbe air and swattin' nim down on that rock yonder, like my old woman might whack the dust out'n a door mat. That hawk wa'nt fur from bein' as big as the rooster, and the Snorter found out that he hadn't tackled no durn squeakin' rat. The hawk thrashed his wines about and clawed with his toes till the

SQUIRE BEt/IS AND UNCLE MCK

Comparing K»tet In the Country Stf.re, frolecllni Cattle in Fly Time. .3 (Chicago Ledger.]

"That, man has more ideas, b'jersey, thun anybody ever seen in all my life," said 'Squire Bevis from behind tha stove. "Why, Uncle Nick, he is jist bilin' over with 'em all the time he is so, b'jersey." "Thee don't say so, 'squire,*1 said (Jne'e Nick, as be edged up closer, and accidentally stepped on the tail of the -squire'* dog. "What makes thee think so?" "Well, to start with, what do yon think o' the bead-works in a man who hap the gumption to think of puttin' linen panto on a muld in fiy time, b'jersey?" "What's thee tellin' me, 'squire?' "Nothin* but tb* bluest kind frutA», b'jersey. "Who seed thatl" "Why, b'jersoy, I dti.n

"When?" i&UU.t'j* I "Last summer, b'jersey. I was going to town the day before I thrashed to get somo bags, and just as I got on the hill there by Flanders' I saw somethin' a-sweepin' aloug over there on the raise in front of Grickson's house. When it got a little closer I thought it was nigger and a mule hitched up together. for you see he was a drivin' a sjtan of mules to a lumber wagon, and only had pants on the off mule, because, as he told me When he came up, b'jersey, that'll was the most thin-skinned, and besides be didn't have pants enough to go round. He had an old sheet throwert over the inula mitt hud the pautt o'i the forelegs,

5 ttASVi

4rx k*

Linen pants on a mule in fly time. and a little ways off Til be hanged if hedidnt look mighty nearly spruce enough to vote, he did so, b'jersey. And to see that mule step along and throw out them legs with the breeches on as important as a hired hand when the bois is away, was just as good as anything I ever saw in an almanic. You couldn't imagine how blamed funny it did look, b'jersey. I sot there on my own mule, and I laughed till I broke a suspender and made my eyes ache. I did so, b'jersey" "That puts me ip mind of awash I bought once from a travelin' feller to keep the flies from botherin' brute beasts," said Uncle Nick, scratching his head with the Same retrospective look he puts on when he is about to begin at Noah's Ark and give you the pedigree of every calf on his place from that time up to the day before yesterday. "I think it was the fust summer after Van Buren took his seat, an' I never seed flies any wusa since God made me than they was that year. They was jest too bad for human conceit. Calves would bawl and lose hair an' git thin in the flanks, an' look like scrub stock in spite of all thee could do. Along in August I thought sure the plaguec of Egypt was all comin' in a bunch, and 1 was worried a good bit about it. "Well, one mornin', as I was settin' on the fence watchin' 'em wearin' ther tails out, an' feelin1 too bad to eat a ineller apple, a gencouple 6 looked as though it might a come right out of the shop that mornin', an' he begun talkin' to me as though he'd been sarchin' the world over for me, and Was tickled most to death to think he'd found me. I don't mind as 1 ever talked with a man that seemed to hava the gift o' speech better'n he did. From glancin' at things around the farm, an' praisin' 'em up, he seemed to notice the cattle ali of a sudden, an' the misery they was in. He said it a shame that fine stock like them should be so pestered, an' then he said he had a raceipt for amixter that would give 'em ease an' make 'em fat, an' the long an' the short of it was that he sold me a farm right to use it for $10. That arternoon I went to town and got two or three gallons of the stuff put up, an' bought a couple o' sponges about the size of a baby's head to rub it on with, an' the next mornin' airly, me an' my hand went out to the stable an' we give everything on hoofs a washin' with it. We then turned 'em out, an' I got on my hoss an1 sot out to hunt up Tea*ter, an' see when I could git him for to come an' thrash.

It was about 10 o'clock when I got back home. "When I'd got within about half a mue of home I knowed somethin' oncommon was the matter. Sich bellerin' and bawlin' I don't think I ever heard in all my born days. I ogged the hoss into a tolerable smart trot, and when I got in sight of the place I seed a sight that made me sorry I'd ever jined church. Every last or.e o' them cattle

"I seAd a sight that made me sorry* Was a eroin' it linkatv rait', ovar tha nlnr

Llgr

I-/ -Si x/J

TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA, THURSDAY. JUNE 4, 1885.TWO PARTS: PART SECOND.

as ngnc as they could jQmp, WOT ther talis a stickin' straight in the air, ther eyes a fairly boolgin' out, an' the way they was a bawlin' an' scratchin' dirt was enough to give a man the chills. Some of 'em was a jumpin' stiff-legged, layin' down an' rollin' an' standin' on their heads an' pa win' all about to onco. An' .there they went it that way for about four days constant, from sunup to sun-down. They rubbed Off the biggest part at the hair they had on 'em, an' I tell you they looked like distress with the bridle off. But that feller hadn't lied to me in a single pertickler. He told me that a fly wouldn't go nigh 'em as long as they had that mixter on 'em, an' that

I I I -••ll

would quicken ther blond an1 livnn 'em un wendemu, an' that's jist what it done. It didn't S9em to bother 'em at night, but as scon as they got where the sun could strike 'em it kep 'em on the go every blessed minute. I guess that was about the only honesr. travelin' man Ieverrunaginst. I don't mind as I ever had no dealins with any other one that didn't deceive ma."

Paternity Brfitp Dignity.

[Chicago Sun.] ^1

rHarry is a papa— Vs

v.^.

Which wonderful event

^/'Does his most awful dignity Tremendously augment. X'An old friend asked young Harry* "How is the little kid?"

No answer. Papa's dignity

Such freedom quite forbid, /-t Tbe question was repeated: .r Severe was pa's disdain: "Obi Abl Aheml the kid! What kid}

Beg pardon, sir! Explain I" "How is the baby, then?" Papa's Importance big did swell, "Oh, if you mean my SON, sir, lie

Is, thank you, very well."

He ffnldn't Stay Two Days la fi/ueli Place. ,' [Detroit Free Press.1 fit "Carl Schott, you disturbed the peace." "If dot vhas so I douri* know him." "Didn't you assault a man in a saloon on Hastings street'" J: "No, sir.

A fellow

philosopher,

and above all .obey the law. I shall have to line you five dollars." "So-of Vy, he only owe^ me fourf "Exactly, but the medicine always costs more than the doctor's bill. Will you pay?" "Of course-I pay, but I go right home und sell oudt und moof to Cincinnati! I doan' stay two days in sooch a blace like disl" "Just as you feel, prisoner. Hand the money to the clerk, keep your hat in your hand until you get out, and 'remember that law is migbty and must prevail."

,.|i„ llill Nye's Military Kxperlencew 4"J [Boston Globe.]

I am not much of a military man. I once undertook to hold a claim in the North park, but a bitterness sprang up between myself and the Indians, and I lost my front hair. Cholera, chief of the Utes, came to the Boomerang mine one day and said he would give me two sleeps to get away in. I didn't want, any difficulty with him, and I thought one sleep was enough, and so I hurried right away. I said to him: "Noble warrior of the knock-kneed Utes, take my mine, you can have it, it's already salted it will keep through the hot weather all right. Help yourself to anything you can find take my grub, take my whisky drink yourself into a premature grave at my expense, fire up with my nitro-glycerine and drop on yourself. And then I got out.

For Evening and Morning Wear."

lPuck.1 ,„

This extensible hat will be best understood by the unfortunates who "put an evil into their mouths to steal away their brains."

A Soapieloua I)og Story,

[Hartford Times.! i./'-'

A Danbury paper tells an astonishing story of a dog owned by Thomas Mitchell, who lives on the line of the Shepaug railroad. The dog had a habit of chasing trains, and one day recently w&j caught by the wheels and lost a piece of his tail Two hours later he picked it up, carried it to some distance, and buried it as carefully as he would a bone.

The suspicious feature of the story is that a Shepaug railroad train ever ran fast enough to catch a dqg. li isuf a

vmirt Of

I^PsTer Growth.

[Saginaw NewaJ

A good deacon of one of our city churches njeaudered along one of the docks yesterday, and, noticing a crowd of boys fishing, he commenced to reprove them for breaking the Sabbath. In tbe middle of his harangue he stopped suddenly to ejacvlate: "Look out, bub, you've got a bitel" to a small .boy whose attention had been distracted from his lino- :l

Leblanc, the inventor of our artificial soda, is to have a monumental statue hit memory in Paris.

IV'*

S t' Fatter, OmdM as* Sleaw. 1

Ittenjamin Northrop.)

"I wonder what is the trouble between Puffier and Gambol and Sloan. Tbey hate him like poison," remarked the judge. "Haven't you beard?" inquired the major. "No what is it?" "You know what a terrible hand I'ufTer writes? Some one told him once that ho wrote a distingue hand, and it set him up so that he now writes worse than ever. Well, that happens to be his sensitive point. He prides himself on it. Gambol has a weak point, too—his eyes. He can't help being cross-eyed, but it worries him all the same. When he goes to the theatre he sitH with his back to the stage to see the performance. He is a tirst-mte fellow, though. About a month ago Gambol asked Sloan to introduce him to Puffer. Now, Sloan can't help playing a practical joke any more than he can live without eating. 'I'll arrange that for to-morrow,' answered Sloan, 'but you had better take a pad of paper and a pencil along with you. He is as deaf as a post, poor fellow. He can't even hear the foreman swear at his copy. He is terribly sensitive about it, too. So when you meet him just act as if you knew all about it. I'll Me you at his office at jioon to-morrow.' "A few minutes later Sloan was seated in the editorial rooms of The Leader. 'I want to bring a friend up here to meet you to-morrow,' he remarked to

Puffer*

he o%«« Old four dollar

•iud doan' pay, uud Mick him a leedie." "Well, that's a case of assault, plain •uough." "Maybe it vhas but if some fellow doani' pay you shan't 1 lick himf' "The proper way would have been to sue him. If I set out to pound every man who owes me and didn't pay should want iron fists." "Veil, it vhas pOoty hard luck vhon'^bu doan' get your pay, und 'der fellow tells you to go mit Texas. Dot fellow he also puts his linger on his nose at mo." "Yes, but this is a world in which you must bear and forbear and be

Vf M''

p'*, -i

'Glad to meet any friend of yours,' re-" spouded the editor. 'He is a friena of yours, too,' replied Sloan. 'He greatly admires your editorials. There is one peculiarity about him, though.' 'What's that?' 'He's deaf as a clam. He can't hear it thunder. He doesn't know it's-raining until he misses his umbrella. He is very touchy on that point, and you had better have some paper and a pencil ready for him when he comes, and act as if you always knew be was deaf. It will make him feel easier.' 'The next day ac noon Sloan and his visitor entered The Leader office. Puffer was waiting for them. Sloan took their cards, and gave Puffer's to Gambol, and vice versa. Both men smiled at each'other encouragingly, and, producing pads of paper big enough to write a president's message on, sat down beside the editorial desk. '1 'I am glad to meet you,' wrote Puffer on his pad. "Gambol took the scrawl and looked at it, first out of one eye and then out of the other. A puzzled look came over his face. Finally he turned the paper upside down, and,a light of intelligence broke over his countenance. Taking up his pencil, he wrote: 'I am exceedingly sorry to hear it. Did you ever try Simpson's extract?" and handed it back to Puffer. "When Puffer read this, his mouth opened with astonishment. He took his pencil and wrote on the bottom of the sheet: 'I don't want any extract. I am not sick. I simply said I was pleased to meet you.' "Then he shoved the paper over to Gambol, and waitjpd for a reply. If Gambol was puzzled at the first communication, he was in reality stricken dumb at the second. He glanced appealinglv at Sloan, who was at that moment attentively looking at a pioture on the wall, with his handkerchief in his mouth to smother typ laughter. Finally he struck what seemed to him to be a clue, and he wrote in' reply: 'Yea, thanks, don't care if I do but don't you think we had better go to lunch first?

"Then he hafided back the roll to the editor, and smiled a smile of mingled self-satis-faction and relief.

w,« i,

"When Puffer saw the answer his disgust rose beyond his control. He rose up in his chair, took the paper and handed it to Sloan. 'See here, Sloan!' he shouted. 'See what this grandson of a lunatic has written. This cross-eyed fool evidently doesn't understand his own language. What in Tophet did you want to bring such a strabismic ass up to this office to see me for? Here, take this paper and write to him that I am sick today, or dead, or anything, and don't want to write any more and the next time you bring a 9eaf and dumb idiot up here to see me just let me know, and Til run out of town for a week or so.' 'That's all right yelled Gambol, as he danced around the table. 'That's all right, but if I wrote a band like yours I'd print my letters. I'd spell them out on my fingers. I'd hire a schoolboy to write for me. I'd *Say,' gasped Puffer, 'ain't you deaf

"Say," gasped Puffer, "aint you VJeoff* 'No,' replied Gambol 'aint you? "Then both men looked at each other a minute and simultaneously exclaimed: 'Where's Sloanf "But Sloan was a wise man. He was gone."?':

hot ciepu^t SKins are

"isn't it stranger' continued tne nrst lady. "I wonder where they got it. They don't raise elephants in Chicago, do theyf' "Oh, dear, no!" said the second lady. "Elephants shed their skins every year, you know."

A FEW LUMBERING STOWS*

facMeiiU* that

Ooenr

llf

Obtafnecu

[Shoe and Leather Reporter.]

When the elephant "Romeo" died in Chicago some years ago, his skin was tanned and a large piece hangs over a trunk store on Madison street, Not long ago, two ladies stopped to gaze at it, when one of them exclaimed: "Why, dear me It's an elephant's akin I" "Oh, myl Is it possible?" said the other lady: "why. how delightful"' -r -ry„. 3., I-v V*1

Kegularly to

IToreat* of

•be

the Northwest.

I Harper's

Weekly.]

A SPECIMEN LOAJ.

Toe

doss

load of the season, and not a good

day for logs either. This load contained 105,416 feet, «f perches and 2 twigs. The driver communicated with his team by heaving chunks of bark at them, and the intelligent animals soon learned to know that a welt on the near eye meant "gee," while a crack over the off ear meant "whoa." If any other loggor has a load to beat this, now is the time to trot it out

A CURIOUS ACCIDENT.

As Tim Branuigan was eating his dinner, seated on the end of a log which lay across another partly imbedded in the snow, a tree which was felled a short distance away swayed out of its course and struck the elevated end of Tim's seat. It is supposed that the jar must bave paralyzed Tim in some way, for he was seen in precisely the same position as when he was raised at a distance of two hundred feet frcm the ground. A search party was promptly made up, and he was found imbedded in a snow bank two miles and a quarter from the scene of the accident in precisely the same position as wbeu ho was struck.

THE BOSS CHOPPER.

The above drawing is from a sketch tnVwn on the spot by Hypo, of Whoopitup, Mutch county, Michigan, and represents William P. Magoo, the boss chopper of Mutch county, and his little chip, William, better known as "Billy the Hitter," is able to cut chips of this size with four blows of an axe he usually outs them a trifle smaller, as it costs some exertion to produce this size.

THRILLING INCIDENT.

While Alexander P. Jabbertooth ahd John Gabea were at workjn the lumber camp of Gulliver J. Bim, Mr. Gaboa was suddenly struck with faintness just as the tree they had been cutting began to fall. Noticing his companion's paleness and'his staggering movements, Alexander darted toward him before he could reach him John lay a limp heap on the ground. Not an instant was to be lost. With one hand Alexander held up the now swaying and tottering tree, and with the other he grasped his inanimate companion by the strap of his inexpressibles,

Ejii?

AND GIVING BIM A HEAVE,'

he landed him ten feet away from the tree with a dull, sickening thud, while he himself leaped gracefully aside and allowed the monarch of the forest to complete its fall. Alexander is regarded as a strong man in these parts. John is doui^ welL •, -T'1*

Km i.,,,

'.d *3.

xi*'

THE FASTEST CHOPPER.

The above drawing, from an instantaneous bv flash of Laviton,

JewMzz

«oanty, a soru-arv ox uamuoi B. Gozzle, the fastest chopper ot tne great northwest. The log at his back was cut in precisely four minutes and thirteen and a quarter seconds on a stop-watch held by Armni&a J. Blaagoo, of Chicago, HI. This feat is considered to be without a parallel in this section. A OUrtty* VIM (ftafct ll a Meeting Cu [Kansas City Tiraen.} "Where do I camp?' ho inquired, and was shown the lower berth, next to me. "That's my pigeonhole, is it? AH right, eld son just watch my motion, while I file myself away."

At this juncture ha was desired to turn over his revolver to the porter, which he declined to do in a very spirited manner. "Old Dad" (bis revolver) "and me alwava sleep together, and we don't want uo divorce," he explained.

The conductor remonstrated, but wa.* advised not to try to "braid this mule's tail "This here's asleepin' car, ain't it?" he inquired. ,, "Yes." "Well, why in don't yon let people sleep, then, when they've paid and gone iuto your game? If you're aimin' to keep people awake and want company, just dance into the next car there's lots of folks there don't want to sleepy nohow, and'11 be glad to see, you."

The conductor withdrew, and my friend pulled off his boots and stretched himself, with many comments, in an undertone, on the poverty of the surroundings.

In about ten minutes this erratic ptlrtd had his head out in the aisle. "Say, you boy," to the portar. "Well, sah?" ,7 "Come arunnin'."

The porter drew near, and a pillow atxv.'t as big as a pincushion wa^^anded to him. "Take that gooseha'r tiling away," sail tie cowboy. "Don't you w**b piUew. sah?" aabed the porter. "Thfct ajUTt no pillpw, an1 I don't want it, uohow^ Fm afraid it'll get in my ear."

After this, silence, and for a short time I slept. I roused up, however, at an exclamation on the part of my neighbor. "Hold on there, my son I Jist drap them bootBl" "I was only jest gwina to,black 'em, boes." "Drap'em."

They drapped. "Jest gwine to pull tbein spurs, I reckon. Now, don't monkey around my camp taking things no more. If you want anything, speak for it. If you can't speak, make signs, if you can't make sigus, shake a bush. You h'ar mef "Yes, sah." *1-*

After this, silence. The wheels and rail? again sang together and the car again kept approving time, and presently I slept without interruption. to

Oar Cholera Facilities. 2881

L-*. [Texas Siftings.] The average American editor does not seem to be afraid of the cholera. He just writes what he pleases about it. The reasons why the journalist does not dread the cholera are several.

In the first plaoe, it is a well known fact that intelligent and careful people, who live on a plain light diet, and not much of it, and who lead upright lives, are reasonably safe, even in the midst of contagion. Those who live on a spare diet cannot well be spared, but the cholera spares them, nevertheless. This lets most editors out

All authorities agree that the avoidance of fear is necessary to keep the system in a condition to ward off the blows of the cholera microbe. The fearlessness which tbe average American editor displays in taunting England for her cowardice in not

declaring

war, demonstrates what a plucky set we are. Unless the cholera microbe is insured for its full value against risk of accident, he had better stay where he is.

The cholera epidemics in France, Spain and Italy last year were very serious, as the press has very little influence in those countries. During-the middle ages, the cholera microbe had it all its own way, because there was no press to restrain it.

How Do Trees Grow in Heaven? [Portland Press.]

A good story is told at tbe expense of a Cor inn a mother who has been converted lately by Elder Nickerson, and who really believes the world will soon come to an end! "Miihjr, cia'fcI g) ou ani play," asked a little boy. "No, my son," she answered, "you will get your clothes dirty." "Is the Lord coming to-day?" "I don't know," said his mother, "he may come." "Don't they have any dirt in heaven for little boys to play in?" ju "No, my son.'* rtf tk "What do little boys do there?"

•'They sing songs and play under the trees." answered his mother. Well, mother, how do they have any trees if they don't have any dirt?"

Railroad Itavel in the South.

INew York Times.]

"How long does this train stop for refreshments?" asked a traveler, as he entered a railroad restaurant in Georgia. "It depen's on how hungry de conductab am," said tbe waiter. ~7 Jt0 ,:.

!Vu*

4 *V "I

v.*