Terre Haute Weekly Gazette, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 3 April 1884 — Page 9

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AFEWEUNNT FELLOWS

Portraits of Some of the Prominent Humorists of the Country.

J' Where and When they were Born, their Early Struggles, Journalistic Vent ores, and the Accident*

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which Led to Fame.

*. HEITRT W. SHAW.

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the well-known ''Josh Billings." born at Lanes bo rough, Berkshire, Mass., in 1818, was grandson of Dr. Samuel Shaw, member sf congress from Vermont during the war of 1812. His father was also a member of congress. His uncle, John Savage, served

as chief justice of New York. At the age of 15 the subject of our sketch went west and became a farmer and auctioneer for twenty-five years, when he settled in Poughkeepsie, N. Y., at the latter vocation. His •. first production made public was written

May 25, 1863, over the name of "Josh Billings," he being over 45 years of age. Since then his philosophy and quaint spelling have qiven him a high reputation for originality _.id a deep insight into human nature. His '•Allminax" atained art one time an imtense circulation. Mr. Shaw is also a SU9» tessful lecturer.

SAXtTBL. LANGHORNB CLEMENS

h'enerolly known as "Mark Twain," was born at Florida, Monroe county, Mo., November 80, 1835. When 13 years old he was engaged as apprentice to a printer, and rked at the trade in St. Louis, Cincinnati, Philadelphia and New York. He was steamjat pilot on the Mississippi for a short time 1855. In 1861 he went to Nevada as private secretary to his brother, who was appointed secretary of the territory.

It was there in 1862 that he first wrote for the press, acting as reporter for California papers, he continued at journalism first in San Francisco, and for one year he edited a daily paper in Buffalo, N. Y., where he married a lady possessed of a large fortune. He spent six months in the Hawaiian Islands in 1864, went with the Quaker City Expedition" to the Holy Land in 1867, and in 1872 visited England on a lecturing tour. His best known writings are "The Jumping Prog," 1867 "The Innocents Abroad," 1869 "Roughing It," 1872 The Gilded Age," a comedy, 1874 "Adventures of Mr. Sawyer," 1876 Punch Brothers Punch," 1878 ''The Stolen White Elephant," 1882, and "Life om the Mississippi," 1883. He has also delivered humorous lectures since 1865. He resides at Hartford, Ct.

BILL RR.

•y Bill Nye first wrote in Wyoming fop a Kttle sheet called The Sentinel. His descrip-

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uiuu ui tne year ne spent wicn cms puoucar tion, es detailed to the writer, shows what he had to deal with. "The Sentinel," said Nye, with a kind of half reproachful, half surpri%sd look, "was a morning paper. We printed it before sundown, and then distributed it before breakfast. It thus had the appearance of extreme freshness and dampness. 'Old Jim Hayford was the manager of the paper. I Jo not know whether he got into the penitentiary or the greenback party. All I know about it is that he was sentenced to a life of solitary confinement. The boys used to call him Deacon Hayford to bs sarcastic, for he was the wickedest man in Wyoming. Still, he was warm-hearted and generous to a|fault. He was more generous to a fault than he ever was to anybody else. Especially to his own faults. 'He gave me $12 a week to edit the paper, local, telegraph, selections, relieious, sporting, fashion, political and obituary. He said twelve dollars was too much, but if I

wourJ jerk the press occasionally and tafce care of his children he would try to stand it. Perhaps I might have been there yet if I hadn't had a red-hot political campaign and measles among the children at the same time. You can't mix measles and politics. So I said o: day I would have to draw the line at measles. 'I then drew my princely salary and quit, having acquired a style of fearless and independent jourifllism which I still retain. I can write up things that never occurred with a masterly and graphic hand. Then, if thi»y occur afterward, I am grateful if not, I bow to the inevitable and smother my chagrin."

Mr. Nye is 33 years of age, nearly six-feet high, and by profession an attorney. He was police judge of Laramie City for six years after quitting The Sentinel writing for The Denver Tribnne in 1880-81, in which year he became manager of The Laramie Boomerang, and continued to act in that capacity until last autumn, when he was taken with a very severe and almost fatal illness in consequence of which he has done very little writing the past year. He is now, however, in better health than for years before. He lives at Hudson, Wis, on St. Croix lake.

JW J. ARMOY KNOX. A

In respoiisa to a recent inquiry, Mr. Knox wrote: "I was born, when I was quite young, in Armoy, Ireland. I was also born in March. Thirty-threo .times have the wild goose and gander winged their way from the Sunny Southland to their Artie home since I came into this world of sin, sorrow and past due-bills. I had quite a large number of ancestors, many of them are dead. The wages of sin is death. Some of my ancesters were bad men who lived in Scotland several ceuturies ago, and who aided the king if some of his deviltries. For this they were rewarded with grants of land in the North of Ireland. My schooldays were ratker uneventful, I think 1 remember having a gum-boil part of the time. After I left school I was three years in a bank came to the United States in 1872. Staying a year in Georgia, I same to Texas and traveled on board of a Mexican mustang for several months, then married and settled down. Iu 1S78 I met Alex. E. Sweet, who is my accomplice in the publication wf Texas Sittings. It is my habit to have business on tap during the day at night the humorous spiggot is pulled out, and some of those soul-harrowing, liver-regulating views of men and things flow out of me. In the matter of religion, I believe it is wicked to fish on Sunday in the Guadeloupe river. There are no fish in that river. Politics, did you say! I believe in a republican form of government, and. I always ...have my eggs soft boiled."

iT.«Tiinm XDWnf 8WEST,

Was born in Canada in 1841. In 1846 his family removed to San Antonio, Texas, When seventeen years of age he was placed for a year and a half in a school at Poughkeepsie, N. Y„ but finished his education in Germany, where he married, returning to Saxas in 1863 to join the 33d Texas cavalry •MLSftvate where heseryed until the iwt

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TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA,-THURSDAY, APRIL 3, 1884.

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to the bar and practised with but limited success, when be turned to journalism, reporting for the San Antonio papers, later he orresponded for The Galveston News, and in 70 he became associate editor of that per. In May, 1881, he united his talents /ith Mr. Knox in the publication of Texas Sittings, of which he is the senior publisher. In his labors he is not only versatile but prolific—he thinks rapidly and writes as fast as ha thinks—the larger portion of the paper being his work.

OKARLMB. LXWIB,

of 11M Detroit Free Press, is 42 years old. He was born at Liverpool, Ohio, and at the age of 14 was printer's devil in The Lansing Journal office. When the jrar broke out be enlisted in a Michigan regiment, and serve# both in cavalry and infantry. After the war he tried Indian fighting, won a lieutenancy and then he retired to journalism and itinerated. In 1868 he met his fate by being blown up on the steamer Magnolia on the Ohio. Whan ha ainie wn he w«« Araatrm* unooiAMui out vi wiu river ojr an via woman and piled among the dead on the beach. He was mistaken for a dead negro, and while being conveyed in a cart among other cadavers to be burled he revived. His wounds were dressed, on he wrote an account of his experience in "How it feels to be blown up," that was so irresistably funny that it started him on the road to fame. He also sued the steamboat company for damages receiving a verdict of $10,000, with which he purchased an interest in The Detroit Free Press. In '1870 he settled down on The Detroit Free Press, and since, his police court items and lengthier sketches over "M. Quad" became universally popular, so much so that The London Times and Pall Mall Gazette publish them as illustrations of genuine American manner*

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OPIB P. BEAD. 0

In response to inquiry, we haye received from Mr. Read the following-: "Tbereare very few fact* connected with my life. Facts have never entered VS17 largely into my composition. I was born in Nashville, Tens., December 22, 1852, aitd in the language of old Jacob, "few and evil are the days of my pilgrimage." The main feature of ray school life was a disposition to shun arithmstic and hang fondly on the outskirts of idlesness. I worked about five years oa the multiplication table and am still "shaky" on the seventh and ninth lines. Iu 1873 I began work on The Franklin, Ky., Patriot. Two years later I went to Gallatin, Ten a., worked oa The Neophogea College Pen for ao other compensation than the privilege of mumbling over Latin sentences, I went through thia Institution and knew very nearly as much when I oame out as when I went in. In 1876 several young men and myself started The Evening Mail in Nashville. Shortly afterwards the sheriff of the county became managing editor. Then I strolled, with a "grip-sack" oontaininf one shirt and six books. Began work on The Little Bock Gazette iu 1878, continuing until 1881, when I took a position oa The Cleveland, Ohio, Leader. Returned to Arkansas and in June, 1882, in conjunction with P. D. Benham, established The Arkansaw Traveller, and to Mr. Bvnham's ability as a financier, much of The Traveller's success is due." if you can gather any points from Mm foregoing, all right. Yours, *Oral P. Reaix

JtOBEBT

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lUkDsnc,

Who Is mainly responsible for The Burlington Hawkeye, was born in Greensboro, Green county, Pa., July 80,1844. His parents removed to Peoria, III., where the greater part of his life was spent. He received a common school education and graduated in 1861, when he enlisted in the Forty-seventh Illinois infantry and served in the ranks throughout the war. After several failures in mercantile pursuits, he started at journalIsm in 1870, as night editer on The Peoria Transcript after two years' service booame city editor of The Review, an evening paper of the same city, hut which shortly after failed. Burdette, with a partner and four printers tried to keep It alire, their paper being known as The Lictle Review, and it was here that his reputation as a humorist began. But paragraphs couldn't and didn't keep The Review alive the gods loved it and it died very young and very happy, very rich in trouble and very poor in pocket. The Burlington Hawkeye immediately secured Mr. Burdette, and he has remained on that paper since. It is said of Burdette that he usually makes laughter without drawing blood, though he is master of banter, bandinage, irony and •-,-rcee.

HONOR TO OCHILTREE.

[Washington Hatciiet.]

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Design for grand equestrian statue for south front of the state department. Col. Ochiltree uttering his great sentiment en Bismarck: "My only regret in this whole matter is that I have been the means of bringing that man into notice."

She Wanted a Paper of Tacks. OPIE P. BEAD. Old Mrs. Mulkittle visited her son, the minister, several days ago. It was arranged that she should sleep with her favorite grandson, so, long after the time that children aie in the land of Nod, she opened the door easily and entered Willie's bedroom. The youngster was sleeping soundly. She undressed and kneeled by the bedside, and when she arose the boy was up on his elbows looking at her. "Lie down there, sir, and go to sleep." "I've been to sleep." "Well, go to sleep again, do you hearf' "Tell me about Little Red Ridin' Hood."

Thinking that this was the best means ct quieting him, she told the story, subject to many corrections on his part. "Now tell me about Jack-the-giant-killer,"

Still hoping that she had adopted the best method, she told him about the great hero of all modern boyhood. "Now tell me about old Blue Beard."

Thon she realized her error, and turning a severe eye ou the boy, she said: "I won't do nothing of the kind apd I want you to go 'sleep this minute." "I can't go to sleep in a minute. Dogs can sjo to sleep as soon as they shut their eyes, -ut boys can't. Let me get up and say my prayers." "Haven't you said 'em to-night?" "Yes, but God's forgot it by this time." "You good for nothin' little rascal, I am a good mind to spank you."

What for!" "For talkin'that way." How must I talk f' "Don't talk atalL" ru.

Then I couldn't say 'anything, oould 11" "No, and it would be a blessed good thing." "I couldnt pray then, could IF' "Hush!" "But if I couldn't talk I ooulda'tprav Then I'd go to the bad place, an' the bad man would say, Oh, yes, here's thai boy that couldn't talk. Put him over there and roast him'. Wouldn't he say that F'

No." What would he say F* The old lady flounced out of bed, opened the door and calkd Mr. Mulkittle.

What is it, mother 1" "Come, take this boy out of here, and bring me a paper of tacks to sleep with. Fd ruther have the nettle-rash in July I"

The Freshost Fashion. [La Carricature.]

very, very latest from Paris.

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BOSH BUTTER.

Collecting BefuM FaH.

The recent annual legislative inquiry, in New York, into the manfacture of counterfeit butter has developed the usual amount of disagreement between doctors as to whether its use is detrimental to health—and this is the important point to be decided The manufacturers state that butterine is composed of from sixty to eighty per cent, leaf lard that it is an improvement on oleomargarine, which was a combination of suet oil, skimmed milk and other ingredients that certain chemicals and coloring matters are used which they did not care to divulge, but that the product was preferable to poor butter, being less offensive to taste aud dangerous to health. The enemies •f butterine state that at the low tempera.

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Sorting and Washing th* Fat. tare at which the lard is rendered out, and which cannot be greater than 140 deg. Fahrenheit, is not sdfflcient to destroy anipial germs, and that the product is rssposible for the plague of dyspepsia that spreads over the country.

It appears that 15,000,000 pounds of this bogus butter was sold in New York City last year, and almost all of it sold as genuine hatter. This is the fraud which it is desired shall be overcome by decisive legislation so

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pedo boat, The Destroyer.

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Trying, Deodorizing and Neutralizing. that the consumer may know what he is purchasing for butter.

The adulteration, it is said, extends to a greater extent to cheese, and the buttermen claim that the country, dairyman is the greater sinner, as he introduces lard into the butter, and deceives them without their being able to detect it.

Our sketches were made at one of the largest "Oleo" manufactures in New York, and give an idea of the principal processes used and the way "butter" is handled, or shoveled.

All the lard, tallow and refuse fat is collected in wagons from the butchers, re»

The Good* Beady for Market

taurants and other sources, when it is

thrown into piles and washed and sorted then it is run through

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hasher and rendered out by steam heat at

Mtnperaiore ox mo nomMit, after wnica it is deodorised, neutralised and purified by chemicals, then cooled in ice water for several daya Our illustration shows one

Detroit Free Press: Daniel Webster ones proved that be was the handsomest man in New England. "Boston," said he, "is the handsomest town in New England, Tremont Is the handsomest street in Boston, Boollay's are the handsomest buildings in Tremont ctreet, Christopher Gore's offloe is the hand•cimest room in Boollay's building, and I am (now) the handsomest man in Christopher {fore's offloe—ergo, I am the handsome* in New England.H

An Extraordinary Case. [Life.]

Your lives with joy to cheer »That is if you will stay

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of tha immense Tats for trying out the fat after which it Is drawn off into the lower tanks to be neutralised. When the lard is sufficiently cool it is re melted, mixed with a certain percentage of genuine butter and coloring matter, and then pressed into cakes. It is usually packed and shipped to market in the form shown in our final illustration. 3

She: "Only give up smoking for one year, and I have no doubt Chat you will never touch tobacco again." A

He: "Well, I don't know, 1 did not amoks once for fifteen years, and then I began and 4 enjoyed it hugely."

She: "For fifteen year-! Yon must have 5 been very young when you began." He: "I was fifteen." '•/.

key Grasp the Htsetieft [Texas Sifting*.]

The commercial success of tha Israelites is due in some measure to their promptness in grasping the situation, and in their Arm tenacity of purpose in holding on.—Jewish Advocate.

"Jast Stay Aaelhfr Year.— [Puck.] The landlord goes around,

And smiles from ear to ear, And with great pathos says: "The wainscot Til veneer Fll fix the kitchen pump 111 fix the leaky roof ril

paper all the walls, And make you burglar-prooCL I'll fix the whole thing up,

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With me another year."

A Christian at Werk.

Exchange: A lady stepped into the turn tbis morning: and said sweetly: "Will you be kind enough to 1st me leek at The Christian at WorkF*

The horse editor blushed a little, but bad the presence of mind to say: "Certainly, madame what can I do for your f*

A Gilt Honet

Statue of Chn. Simon BoUwmm, "Never look a gift hone in the moat^* said Jerome, a Latin father of the fourth century. "Never look a gift mole in tha heels," says our modern father. "In soma cases," says The New York Times, "duty4 admonishes us not to look only but to sound every tooth, and wisely form oonclnsiaas, even to the return of the gift horse with thanks. When, as a matter of fact, it Is ef| bronze, and larger than life? When with its rider it is climbing a bronss hill, and asrt ing itself beyond measure doing nothing! When it is a particularly ohunky, thick ba^ relied, heavy limbed beast, any known to the western cowboy or the psinoe in the Arabian Nights! Surely the prof** erbs refer to flesh and Mood horsss only animals which may be pat te some «a^ however humble, or at the worst can be led to some distant pasture, whsre the eye carious in breeds will never see him. Ait tha bronze horse of the sculptor, cast for a pedestal in some frequented park, is a hone of quite another color."

The stattfe in question Is of General Simon Bolivar, the "liberator" of South America* and is a present from the republic of Venauela to New York. It is attracting interna* tional attention on acoonnt of the possibility of New York not accepting it, in whioh case it places us in a similar position with that of Bismarck and the Lasksr resolutions. To refuse it will be a snub to Venesnela, a republic to which we are bouad by political and commercial ties, to accept it, say eona» patent critics, would be an —thstir calamity. From the engraving whioh we give, oaq readers may judge of Its merits. It 1" eleven feet from the grand and I offer S.000