Terre Haute Weekly Gazette, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 6 March 1884 — Page 9

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iS FEBRUARY TWENTY-SECOND, *vV:

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If instead of being the 152d this were th« SSth anniversary of his birth, is it possible V* he would have appeared thus

We refw to believe

ti/£ '{£j|^ ALU ALONGER BRADLAUON. [London Judy.]

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"Bradlaugh, indeedl if you'll wait till I've emptied my mouth, Fll show ye Bradlaugtrt

•*£""You'll do nuffin' o' the tort, young man •u there!" Whack!

Getting slightly tragic.—"For one or both 4 of us the time has come."—(Richard III.

Result: both on us for forty shillings -®s or a month.

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Strategy of Tiger Tom. [New York Sun.]

Thomas Ochiltree, the Texan, Youngest bora and dearest darling Of the Auburn-tressed Aurora He, the terror of the Brazos, Tiger Tom of the Nueces, Glory cf the Rio Grande, Wouder of the present congress Who, alone and quite unaided, Set the Lasker ball to rolling When he neard how Otto Bismarck Scorned, and flouted, and defied him, Striking at him through the congress Thomas Ochiltree, the Texan, Roared, and flamed, and spoke in fury "Order out the old Dictator,

And the ancient Amphitrite, With the Puritan to help them, And the wild Miantonomoh Let thp fearful Roachclad navy Guard the mouth of the Potomac— Filled with stonej, and slyly sunk there '•Give me, then, the Tallapoosa,

Weil supplie with fresh provisions, With the choicest wines and liquors, While I cross the raging ocean, And proceed to pluck the feathers From the double-headed eagle. "I will mix a drink for Otto,

With the whisky of Kentucky, With the mint of old Virginia, With the sugar of the tropics, Such as gently shall allure him From the thorny path of warfare, Tbon the double-headed eagle And the «chwein Amerikaner Sweetly shall lie dowu together, Never thinking more of Lasher Or the fear of trichinosis, Aye, and Tiger Tom shall lead them."

"Chinese** Gordon* [London Judy.]

i,.r How he entered Khartoum.

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v:Kf. Happy Chicago %!ZZ [Peck's Sun.] Chicago ought to be happy. She not only gets the Republican, but will get the Democratic convention this summer. No apprehension is entertained that a water famine will follow either convention, but Chicago lays itself liable to be called the national bear garden after entertaining these two great political conventions

Uncertain What to Bo. [Philadelphia Call]

"See here, my friend, that dog of yours killed three sheep of mine last night, and I want to know what you propose to do about it!" "Are you sure it was my dog!" "Yes."

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"Well, I hardly know what to da I goes 1 had better sell him. You don't want to feay a good dog, do your

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Receiver Wanted. [Wall Street News.]

In one of the northern counties of Ohio, a ompany which was manufacturing agricultural implements had occasion to borrow $5,000. Some of the stockholders, being of a tricky turn, decided to beat the lender of the money out of it, and a Toledo lawyer was asked for his advice. "You can do it very easily," was his bland reply. rfc "How!" "Why, one of you go into court with an affidavit that the business is not being properly managed, and aek to have me appointed receiver. I can beat the man out of his $5,000."

This was done, and, as one of the victims was saying the other day: "Yes, sir, be beat the man out of that money slick as a whistle." "How!" "Why, by beating the rest of us out of every dollar we had. The man who gave us the advice now owns and runs the busi-

'"i Recipe for Pancakes. [Peck's Sun.] A young housekeeper writes for a recipe for making pancakes. If there is anything more than another we know how to make, it is pancakes. Take a cup of flour, one pint of warm water, mix thoroughly and cook over a thorough fire until it becomes thick. Then remove and let it stand for an hour to cooL Take a strip of canton flannel and cut in round pieces about the sice of a tea plate. Smear both sides with the flour and water mixture and bake on a hot griddle. Serve with molasses labeled maple syrup. This, of oourse, is not the family style. We got our information by dissecting a pancake built at an uptown restaurant, and it can be relied upon.

I I*''^(,1 A Sinecure*

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[Petit Journal Pour Rira.

Waiter—" Coffee, Sir Clerk—" No 1 I never take coffee for breakfast. It interferes with my nap in the office."

TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA, THURSDAY, MARCH 6, 1884.

'FOREIGN BEAUTIE& [Journal Amua:.t]

A Parisian Ona,

Changing Hie Shirt. [N. Y. Tiroes.]

A Frenchman traveling by railway fn England, was very anxious to change hia shirt in order to make a visit after the train had arrived at its destination, without taking the trouble to go to a hotel. His guide book indicated a tunnel on the road, and he 'asked the guard how long the train would be in the tunnel. The guard mistook the question, and, supposing he asked how leng before the train would reach the tunnel, answered briefly: "Half an hour." The carriage in which the Frenchman was traveling contained several ladies and gentlemen. The traveler got down his valise, unlocked it, and made everything ready for a change of appare) while they were in the tunnel. As soon as they entered it he pulled off his shirt and prepared to put on a clean one, but imagine his surprise on discovering tbat the train remained only three minutes )n the tunnel instead of thirty! As they came out into open daylight he was standing in their midst in a condition quite unfit for a mixed company of ladies and gentlemen.

..The Gntta-Pereha Chicken. [Chronicle-Herald.] "Here," said an excited man entering a grocery store, "what kind of a chicken was tbat you sent to my ho?se! It certainly wasn't the one I ordered." "Great Scott," exclaimed the grocer, "if tbat boy hasn't made another mistake. He went and gave you one of those gutta-percha ones that we kept especially for boarding-houses. Did the paint boil off

Ratiocination. [London Punch.]

Country Doctor—"Did you take that bottle of medicine to old Mrs. Cambridge's!— because it was very import

Doctor's Boy—"Oh, yes sir. And I'm pretty sure she took it, sirl" Country Doctor (after a pause)—"What do you mean by that, sir!"

Doctor's Bey—"Well, I see the shutters up at the 'ouse as I passed this mornin' sirl"

A Little More Curved. [Fiiegende Blatter,]

Customer.—'You will cat those pantaloons according to the fashion plate!" Tailor.—"Oh yes, only a little more curved."

Diabolical Puna.

"What color would you dialogue!"—The Hatchet. If the log were about eight or nine inches in circumference and about three feet long, and we were within reaching distance of the perpetrator of such a pun, we'd endeavor to dye it blood red.—Bismarck Tribune!

Oh, wood you!—The Hatchet, -k 'Z

Why They Hurried. [N. Y. Commercial.]

"Why does the train run so much faster than yesterday!" asked a passenger on a branch of the Wabash railroad of the conductor. "We are iu Missouri to-day." was the reply, "and we always get out of this state as soon as possible."

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Along the MM, [Eugene Field.]

The river is up, the channel is deep, The wind blows steady and strong Astraddle the roof we'll gloomily keep

Our vigils while floating along. To people ashore it is pleasant to think Of life oa the frolicsome wave Tis awful to one without victuals and drink

And a glimpse of a watery grave. You lubbers can prats of "waters so blue" And winds "blowing steady and strong But we who are swamped by this hullabaloo

Are singing a different song.

A Celebrated Aetor. [London Jody.]

Henry Irving, of whose legs Oscar Wild says: "One Is like unto a dream, the other, a sublime poem."

Gen. Washington's Explanation. [Washington Hatchet.] Gen. Washington being a Mason was frequently detained at the lodge until very late. One night he went home, hung his boots over a chair, and laid bis trowsers under the bed, and as he crept quietly into bed his affectionate wife remarked: "George, you have been drinking." "You're rnishtaken, Marsha," replied the general. "You're rnishtaken." "But 1 smell it," insisted Mrs. Washington. "'Deed, my shweets, you're mishtaken. What you shmell is bay rum she barber put on my hair."

Mrs. Washington, satisfied with this explanation, turned over and went to sleep, and the general, putting his finger on the side of his nose, whispered to himself: "Itsh cold day when she Farssr of hish Cou try getsh lef."

She'll Dlaflgure (The Judge]

"Ob my Neville, if you should ever prove untrue to me, I think I would disfigure you or life with a bottle of vitriol!"

Talmage'a Texas Rival, (Texas Siftings.]

There is an old negro in Austin named Uncle Nace, who is a regular attendant at the church of th* Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter. Meeting his pastor the other day, the latter said: "You seems to enjoy my sermons mightily, Uncle Nace, considerin' you am so hard oh hearing," shouted the clergyman.

Uncle Nace nodded understandingly. "Kin yer heah me when I preaches," bel lowed the colored prelate in Uncle Nace' ear.

The old man shook his head. "Wbaffor den does yer come to de church?': howled Baxter. "Bekase hie 'muses meter see you cut up dem monkey shines, and saw de air wld yer arms,"

tfo Asaeta. [Tfcxas Siftings.]

Russia has made a formal demand on Tur key for the expenses of the late war. Although backed in her demands by the other great powers, Russia will find it extremely difficult to collect the amount, owing to the plucked condition of plucky Turkey.

Came South to Die. [Texas Siftings.]

William Norton, the Arctic explorer, who Tfitnfl to discover the open polar sea, died recently in Alaska. Arctic explorers, as a general thing, do not come that far to ill*

TheHoase On the Marsh?

By F. WARDEN.

CHAPTER

WANTED, a Governess must be young,* I cut out the advertisement thus headed eagerly from the 7\me*. I was eighteen, and my youth had been the great obstacle to my getting an engagement now hare was some delightful advertiser who considered it an advantage. I wrote jfeo the address given, inclosing my photograph and the list of my qualifications. Within a week I was traveling down to Geldham, Norfolk, engaged to teach "ane little girl, aged six," at a salary of thirty-five pound* a year. The correspondence had been carried on by my future pupil's father, who said he would meet me at the station at Beaconsburgh, the market-town nearest 'Jteldham.

It was about five o'clock on an afternoon in early August that I sat, trembling with excitement and fright, at the window of the railway-carriage, as the train steamed slowly into Beaconsburgh station. I looked out on the platform. There were very few .people on it, and there was no one who ap peared at all like the gentleman I had pio» tured to myself as my future employer.

There were two or three red-faced men who gave one the impression of being farmers, and at one end there were two young men engaged in securing a large mastiff, which was bounding about in great excitement at sight of the train. I got out and spoke to the station-master. "There is Mr. Raynar himself, ma'am," said he, poirting toward the two young men with the dog.

One of them was now looking about, as if in soarch of somebody and I walked timidly toward him. He seemed puzzled as his eyes feH upon ma then suddenly he raised his hat. "Miss Christie!" he said interrogatively, growing very red. "Yes," said I, bowing and blushing too. "Will you come and show rae which is your luggage!"

I was surprised and rather confused to find Mr. Rayner so much younger and less self-possessed than I had expected. I followed him and pointed out my boxes. "11m dog-cart is waiting outside," said he, let me carry your bag."

I followed him through the station. Three or four big dogs began jumping up upon him and upon me as wo came out. "Down, Rover! Down, Lake! Get down, T*ay!" said he, raising hie voice.

I had noticed what a very pleaaant rich oice he had when he first spoke to me, and now I remembered how particular he had been in his letters about my music so I concluded that Mr. Raynar sang. He helped me into the dog-cart, carefully fciapped me up with a rug, and then, instead of getting in himeetf, patted the neck eC this brown nH% who ksnssd hsr head and put IMNT nesa into hsr naMs hand. I was trying to get e*er mj bewilderment Of courie I ssight have sapastsd that the father of my aix-ysar-old pupil would not be the middle aged gray-haired man I had pastured to myaslf but for him to be a man who did not look more than three- or four-and-twenty was a surprise and to find him so shy and deferential did not seem quite right, eenstdering our respective positions. He was big and broad, and rather massive, had dark hair and mustache, gray eyes, and a kind simplicity of expression, whieh, perhaps, I thought, with is haUt of blushing made him look younger than he was. He left the mare and stood by me again. "Iam afraid you will find the country dull. You will miss the gayety of Len* on."

I havent led a very gay Mfe" said I

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don't think poor people are very gay anywhere.*5 "But yoa havent been shut up in a school-room before. I cant think how yoa will stand it. I always hated schoolrooms and ifs a fact that I was sever in a school without being told that I toil"

Mr. Rayner did not as he made this confession. I dare say you were great at cricket, or rowing, or—or—fighting," I hazarded, feeling that,some rejoinder was expeetod. "No,Iwasnt. Ireipembsrgivingaboy black eye once for me a dunce. He was quite right, you know. And I remember being surprised that I hurt him so much for 1 generally got the worst of it In a fight. They used toeay it took a great deal to rouse ma and I didn't do much harm when I was roused," ha added, laughtot "I hope your danghter does not stwro her father's dislike cf school routine," I broke out anxiously.

He started and looked up at me, coloring vividly, and then said, with some amusement in his tones— "Did you take me for Mr. RaynerI" The next moment he seemed sorry for my evident confusion, and added, looking away, My name is Reade. Mrs. Rayner sent her brougham for you but a wagon ran into it and took one of the wheels off so I put my cart at your disposal. I hope you don't mind driving in a thing like this!" "Oh, not" I said.

That was Mr. Rayner on the platform with me," he went on. His dog rushed out just as the train eame up, and he asked me to see to your luggage while 1M held him. I dont know why he is so long."

As he spoke, Mr. Rayner himself came out of the station, letting his mastiff looee at the door. I saw in a moment that he was a few years older than my companion, and that, while they both wore round hate and Norfolk jackets, he bore the impress of town breeding as clearly as Mr. Reade did that of country. He was slight, well made, with delicate features and a dark golden beard and mustache, He up, raising his hat and shook hands with me.

You have been marveling at the barbarism of Norfolk manners, Miss Christie, and asking 'When is the next train back to London But I have been warned by my wife not to make my. reappearance at home without a certain parcel from the 'Stores' which has been due at this station

about ten days, out nas, lor some countable reason, failed to turn up hitherto. By the way, I hope, my sprightly young friend has been entertaining you well!" "Miss Christie took me for you, Mr. Rayner," said Mr. Reade, shyly reddening again. ^And has now to soffir the awful disappointment of finding that Mr. Rayner is an old fogy after alL Miss Christie, forgive ®7 gray hairs. You will find me a great deal more trustworthy than any of theee gay deceiving Norfolk lads. Now, Laurence, my boy, if you want us to get hone before the miet rises, we had better start" nr. Kayner sprang up oenino jnr. neaae got up in front by my side, and took the reins and off we started, with the five dogs bounding, barking and growling along the read as we went We had to driVe right through Beaconsburgh up a long hill to the market-place, which was lively and busy, as it was market-day down another long hill, lined with the dreary old houses the dU§ of a provincial town past tan-yard, over a small bridge crowded with cattle returning from market, and then along two miles oi straight willowbordered road over a marsh. The scenery was not particularly pretty but I had never lived in the country, and everything was new and interesting to me. Mr. Rayner was occupied at the back with letters and papers, and Mr. Reade at my side listened to my couuii-jnts with flattering •interest and appreciation.

How beautifully green everything isl" I remarked presently. Yee, rather too green," Mr. Reade rejoined .ruefully, "We have bad a wet summer, and now ire are going to have a. wet autumn, I believe, and this place will be nothing but a swamp." "Don't set Miss Christie against tha place, Laurence," said Mr. Rayner rather sharply.

We passed through a low-tying villagesome of the houses of which were flooded in winter, Mr. Reade told mo up a hill, down a hill, and up another sloping road, at the side of whkh stretched the marsh again. "There is the Alders, Miss Christie," said he, pointing with hit whip to a pretty red' house, half covert with ivy and surrounded by trees, which stood below the road, on the borders of tha marsh. "Here, Laurence," I'll get down and take the short cut," said Mr. Rayner.

There was a footpath which led from this point of the road straight to the house through a couple of fields and a plantation. After Mr. Rayner had alighted, Mr. Reade and I drove, on by the road. "What a lovely placet" I cried enthusiastically.

My companion remained silent "And oh, what a beautifhl pond! I do believe it has water-lilies 1" I exclaimed, turning round half brnsthlsss at suoh a glorious discovery.

I wouldn't have that -fg-mt water near my house for my children to play about for something I" said he, in aa energetic growl which surprised me.

I said no mors until we drove slowly down the sloping carriage-drive through the treee which led to the house then my admiration broke out "Oh, how delightfully cool it looks, with the ivy ail over it to keep out tha hot sun I"

Yes, and to keep in tha cold moisture, Miss Christie. The ivy hasn't been cut for the last live years and it ought to be torn down altogether to make the place fit to live in. It is no better than'a pest-house!" he went on, getting more and more excited. wouldn't let a laborer live in itl" "A laborer wont have a chance until my lease, is up, Laurence," said Mr. Rayner dryly,..coming out of a path among the trees.,'^Ajid the two men exchanged looks which showed that at the bottom of their hearts they were not friends.

But then it was not likely that Mr. Rayner would care to hear his beantiful homo1 called a^pest-house I

We drove slowly down to the hall door, which was open, and a gaunt, untidy-look-ing servant came but and carried in my boxes. Mr. Reade helped me down and stood by me, apparently examining the har ness, while I looked in an ecstacy of admiration at the dark red house thickly covered with ivy, and at the gray stone portico, the pillars of which were stained with pictureeque patchee of green, while the capitals were overgrown with soft bronze and brown moss. Then he seised a moment when Mr. Rayner wae speaking to tl» servant, to stoop and say to ma quickly, in a low .voice

Dont let them pat yon near Mrs. Bayner's room." I could not answepr, could not ask why, for the next moment he was calling out good-by to Mr. Raynar, and, raising ft is hat to me, WM walking by the side of the dogcart up t£o steep driva^that led through the garden to the road. I inn sorry he waa gone. I wanted to ask what he meant by his strange waning, and to thank Mm for &is kindness. i\ illlisssjm sense of loneliness, cants, ever, m* Hr. Rayner, who had, grown grave and silent, and, deeply occupied with his letters,

during

the last part of the drive,

had gone into thei house forgetting to invite me in ,the, servant had disappeared with mj last box^ Instead of following her, I stood watehing tha dog-cart and its owner onitpf sight, until a harsh woman's voice startled me. "Won't you oomainf Ita to show you to your room."

It was the gaunt servant who addreaasd g, me. I turned, blushing, and followed her into a low, long hidl, dark, oopl a#d cid fashioned, such as the outside at the hsnsf'' had prepared me for up an oak-lined staircase through a few of thoae short and inconvenient.passages which abound in old housto that nave been added to from time to time, to a corner room, shabby, dark and bare looking, where my boxes were already installed. I sat down on one of theee, the only friendly things 1 had about me, and began to cry. Somebody might at leinjt have come to the door to meet me 1 I thought of Mr. Reader words, and began to wonder with a new esnss of dread what Mrs. Rayner was like. Was she an invalid 1 Was she—mad If not, why had she left the correspondence about her child's governess entirely to her husband My tsars

[Continued oa SeconjiPaga]

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