Terre Haute Weekly Gazette, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 14 February 1878 — Page 6

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THURSDAY. FEBRUARY 14, 1878.

THE WIFE'S STRATAGEM.

The Bard Showeth How She Reclaimed Her Husband From the Dangers of Drink. fFrom the New York World.]

I.

The husband of the wife I sing (A rnobier wife ne'er tr tl), loved his wfe ami children wel',

K® a *o loved his tod Jl» first fen not that he looked Upon the wine when mi. Ana when at times her husband dear

Was Iain to go to bed Bans going tlirou rh the formality Of taking offhis hat (Times when his speech was very thica,) w.jndore'l much thereat,"

Xexr, morn in his hours not of ease, Ministrant angel, she Ke I him with toast and stayed him With fl.-igcns oi hot t?a.

II.

At last name the dlscovcrv, Dipc'osure fo lowed doubt, A're'.dy his sin had found out him,

Ami now fill.! id him out. When first A woman learns the true Significance of ilnve, Caidion anil coffee 'tis a time

Moi ei ilous to love. But this, mv heroine, dirt not weep ITnt'l herVyes wire red, Nor get hf?r caveof gloom

Ati wish th.-v he were deal, Xor speak of better (mythical) Men that she mighthave wed She dirl not like the prodigal

Arise ami get her gone Under licr father's house again And or !er 7eal for one. She did no* (urn abroom handle an abnormal us3, Ne to a certain lecture course

Her husband introduce. None of tho filings she might have been, Looked for to do did she Mure was there than on earth was dreamed

In her philosophy.

in.

ft fell about the Christmas tide Thi° joval husband he Did put an E. unto his M.

To steal away hisB. lie wakened about!) A. M. And found he was in bed With his boots on him. and on him, eke

A head—and such ahead (Ala? for him that waketh up After carousals where There is not of (he biting pup

The ncces3arv hair Alas for him who knoweth not Whit virtue there is in A tumberfnlof ponnded ice,

A glaesof old Tom gin, A half a lemon and a neaped Spoonful of sugar p'eaeant, A flash of soda poured on all

Anddruna while effervescent!) Then to him entered in his wife With flagon of hot tea And ler new social system fijf

Divine phil sophy. She did notsniff, nor scold, nor shed A waterspout of brine, ^orhail the rassomcd sinner homo

With li'ctu ingt condign. She merely ministered to him Till he'd had time to think Mow many sorts of brute he was.

Then said, Why will you «lrink

'•Ton, wh as faith *u' are and kind As lots of old dog Prays. Why will you pat an enemy

Into, as Shakesp Mire says. Ah me, if men ejuld only see Themselves when "li are ti-ght And what a fright youg^veto ine

When you ca-u1home last night." He had no more 'dea of What he had done than you, Ahd could onlv murmur shamefacedly, "Ada, what did I '«o 1"

r.

'•Herbert," she sai' in voice as sweet As when the bub sings, While on her open bvow were truth,

And various Other thinsrs— "Herbert, when von came home last night Tou would have ta'en th life Of her you aw rn to protect,

Your lairful, lovng wifv!. The man who vlth A poker hunts A woman around the room (Save in the way of kindness) Is.

Indeed, a Being Whom Ton won'd h.-ive frh''d -our wife her blood (Theyaay the wit"i out when The wnlskev's in), because she would

Not set them up asain. How coil I, Heibert! Thin you called— You, who its father areTor the baby and a carving knife

To opfs its jnirlnr. And then you rc my bonnet up ('Tis fortune It's old). And'id reduce vS'indsy dress

To tatters maniT'd, You thr.-w sixtyd dlars in the g-ate And with the poker stood Se'itrv until it was consumed,

Preiia ed to shed my bloo 1

SK"vt':

Ah, Herbert wb tan awfu' n'ght Ipaas-d! *ow yow r&ged wfien .Isai-1 cou not the army bring [)»wn to tenthou9»nd men

"Mr true and honorable lord, Herbert.,indeed, you are Th a the ruddy drops that visit this

Sad heart deater by far. Hut oh, my hus'iund '. D" not drink, Or ee without conjecture, Thi- »ors somo morning aMll contain 'At other Ti mperenc! Lecture 'A Drunken llus.'virVs 'itble Crime •The rk of the Demon Rum And ine 11 call it a 'Holacaust,'

And a'Kattlity,'some

VII.

Thrice gnspe 1 that husband startled Aid with cAnscence' stings. An feoblv mil-mere•!, -'Ada,

Did 1 all,these things?" And she her brow uplifted So pure—no falsehood hid In t— And answered hlm,'*Oh, Herbert,^

Woul I sav so if you didn't?" Be cnl himself an assorted Menagerie of brutes, Hesyrings from his oonchso rumpled "Like a reindeer bounding"*—in boots. On a book caaght up from the table,

To wnich he frantic leaps. Ho swears off, not aNew Year a bath But one that is meant "for keeps."

His w'.fe when she hears htm promise To atstain henceforth from drink, Has her eyes so full of happy tears

She can scarce repress a wink. For her lord when he hath tarried At the ne—hath drunken deep— Goes not for pokers nor homicides,

But seeketh peace and sleep. To-d»y at church new bonnet And new silk dress she wears The old one* are safely locked up

With her summer things up stairs And as to the sixty dollars In the parlor -grate he cast— Well she's sixty dollars r»chef-

This week than she was last! Jfew York, January, 1878. Q. T. L.

•Then up sprang King Olaf, Lite a reindeer oounding—Longfellow.

Victoria Woodhull has had a very unpleasant reception in London. The au diences which gather to hear her were largely composed of young girls, a fact 'which at once horrified and warned the Londoners. The Tattler says that Mrs. Woodhall gave a lecture which was "startling only in so far as^she spoke as fast as Weston walks."

Actual fact! A pious man was going through the common one Sunday, and came upon some youngsters playing marbles. "Boys,'' said he, "boys, do you know what day it is?" One oi the Imps turned to a bv-stander with: "Here, can you tell this man what day it is, he don't know?" ... ,3.ir ... -r,: I ."'ft 1 I-KI

Col. Ingersoll on Hell.

His View* on Orthodox Doctrine.

Very Blunt Comments of the CaJvinistic Doctrine on Endless Punishment.

HELL.

QUOTATION', ARGUMENT, APPEAL, AND WRATH IN COLONEL INGERSOLL'S LECTURE.

The interest aroused by Colonel jngersol.'s ltcture was shown by the eagerness with which tickets were sought at the box office last evening. At least three or four hundred people were unable to gain admission, and those holding tickets had difficulty in getting in. It was a great audience, including many ladies, and not a few prominent citizens, politicians, and merchants. The number of bald-headed men present was conspiciously large, and all listened to trie lecturer with the sharpest attention. For a "voluntary"' the organist played with iivelv effect a selection from "La Fillede Madame Angor," and other opera boufft tirs. Colonel Ingersoll was warmly receive 1 and appeared thj image of physical health and mental vigor. His figure is slightly ro'.unci, his face open and benevolent. When he had adjusted his speccles, put his hands ider his coat-tails and assumed stooping attitude, in order to read quotations from Scripture, and the theologians, his appearance closely resembled Cruikshan's portrait of Samuel Pickwick, standing in a chair and laying down the law of the Pickwick club. Colonel Ingersoll was intensely earnest, even when he was most broadly humorous, and when speaking of the orthodox idea of hell, he said.* "I hate if," he ground his teeth in wrath. Part of the audience for th fist minute or two, appeared stunned. AfterwarJs it was either intensely still, or loud with applause or laughter The lecturer keDt on seemingly unwearied for two full hours and the audience was unwavering in attention.

Colonel Ingersoll'* lecture was in part as follows: Ladies and gentlemen: The idea of hell was born of revenge, of brutality on the one side of cowardice on the other. In my judgement, the American peo, le are too brave, too charitable, too generous, too magnificent to bdeive in this infamous doctrine of eternal hell I have no respect for any human being who believes in it. (Applause.) Wait till you see me in hell before you laugh at me. I have no respect for the man* who preaches it. have no respect for the ma who will pollute the imagination of chil .'hood with that infamous lie. (Apause I have no respect for the man who will add to the sorrows of the worki that frighiful dogma. I have no respect 1 say for anv man who endeavors to put thjt terribL- cloud, that dark shadow, in the heart of humanity I hate this doctrine I wili hate and defy this ajctrine. (Applause)

Foragiod many years the learned and intellectual of Christendom have been examining into the religions of the old countries They have examined in to the religions of India, of Greece, ot Rome, of the Scandinavian countries, in the presence of the wonderful ruins of those religions, unawed by their crumbling temples The learned have said these religions were baseless they were fraudulent, they have passed away, and while this was being done the Christians of our century applauded, and when they got thnugh they turnedjthcir attention to our religion. By the same mode of reason, by the same argument, they will overturn the religion of our day. Why, everv religion in th. world is the wjrk of man. Every hook has been written by man Man existed before books. If books had existed before man, I might have admired that there was such a thing as a sacred volume. [Applause Man never had an idea, man never will have an idea, except thoe suggested to him bv his surroundings. Every idea in the world we must get from nature. You cannot conceive of anything a hint of which you have not received from your surroundings. We are making religions to-day. we are making religions to-night —that is, we are changing them—and the religion of to day is not the religion of ioo years ago. We have c»*ilized it: science has done it, education and the growing heart of man have done it. Just to that extent we become civilizted ourselves, to that extent will we civilize the religion of our fathers. If we make the same progress during the next fifty years that we have made during the last century, it will have to be remonetized by that time or it will not be a legal-tender.

Applause.] Every religion in the world has denounced every other religion as a fraud [laughter], which proves to me that they all tell the truth about others. Ap plausc.l

Truth does not fequire miracles Whenever a man appeals to miracle he tells what is not true. Truth scorns the assistance of the wonderful. Truth relies upon reason and upon the undeviating course of the laws of nature. I believe in living for this world, here, now, to-day, to-night Make everybody hap pyyou can now let the future take care of itself. [Applause.] And if I ever touch the shores of another world, I will be just as willing to go into some remun erative employment as any other angel in the world. [Great laughter.] Just in proportion as man has ceased to believe religion, man has become great and charitable. If they believed it as they Once believed it, I would not be allowed to speak in the City of New York. They say, in the first place, that all this vast universe was created by a deicv. I don't know whether it was or not. They say that if it had not beea for the sin of Adam, there would nbt have been any death in the world. I deny it. I am glad there is death because that gives me

THE TERRE HAUTE WEEKLY GAZETTE

chance. Applause and laughter.] jqnestion, who is there replied: "thv serThere would nof be room for all. always had the notion that my representative ought to Ave somewhere about the same time that I lived. I always had jhe idea that I should have some voice in choositg my repiesentative, and if I had had a voice I never would have voted for that gentleman called Adam. [Laughter.]

I sm told now that this Bible is the foundation ol liberty and civilization, but I say to you to-night that this Bible is the foundation of hell, and we never will

A Large and Deeply Illteresstcdfget ri.i of the idea of hell until we get rid Audience. the idea that this book is true. The

From the New Yerk Tribune. Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll talked about hell to a very large audience in Chickeringhall last evening. Probably all who went to h*ar him expected to listen to unsparing denunciations of the Calvinistic doctrine of endless punishment, and they were not disappointed The Rev. W. F. Hatfield, a Methodist clergyman, last night commented on Colonel Ingersoll's praises of Thomas Paine. DENOUNCING THE BELIEF IN

only way to find out whether this book is the work of a God is to read it, and as very few people now read it, I will read you a few verses. Colonel Ingersoll then read a portion of the account of the wars of the Jews, where the prisoners were slain after they had been conquered. The people who were thus murdered were guilty of the crime of fighting for their homes. Then they tell us ot the mercy of such a God. Il living in accordance with reason takes me to perdition, there I will go, with my reason, rather than to heayen without it. [Applause The Bible say» that if ^yvoman would learn anything, let her asK of her husband. Does it treat woman as she should be treated? Imagine the ignorance of a woman who has only that source of information. [Laughter.] Man is not of woman, but woman of man. It was the man's cutlet that was taken, and not the woman's. [The speaker read from the Bible an accoun. of the swine casting themselves into the sea I never believed that. Why? Because the prophecies that are there made have never been fulfilled. "Thou shalt cast out devils." I never did. "Thou shalt take up serpents." I never tried. [Laughter.J

I hate such doctrines as the Bible inches I hate such books I hate such gods as will write sucn books. When the Jews crucified Christ, did He not reap what he had sown? If it had n.,t been for the bigotry of the Jews and ie treachery ofjud.is th: world would have gone ta eternal hell. According to this doctrine wc owe our existence to the devil. It strikes tnc that what they call the Atonement is moral bankruptcy. Man is allowed to sin upon credu. Whenever he is guilty of a mean action he says, "charge it." In my judgement this kind of bookkeeping breeds extravagance in sin. Did you ever hear of a man going to hell in New-Yok who had a million dollars [laughter], or who rode in a carriage? Nevei? l'nese are the gentlemen wlio talk, about the masses and say,

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can

jet all the luxuries I nee.l give hell to :ne po r." Who go to hell? Tramps? [Great laughter.] Do you know nobody would have had any idea about hell had it not been for the volcanoes. Tne) were supposed to be the chimneys of hell. Colonel Ingeisoll read the description oi hell given by old theologians. These words svere all said by gentlemen who died Christians and art now in the harp business in the world otjoy. [Laughter.J

Did it ever occur to yoj what acon'radiction it is to say that the devil will p«rsecute his own friends? According to the Bible he is at war with God, and vants all the recruits he can get. Why, then, should he persecute his soldiers? In my judgement, he should give them the best hell affords. [Applau.e ani laughter.] Can a believing husband in heaven look down upon the torments of an unbelieving wife in hell and jet feel a thrill of joy? This is the old doctrine. This is not the doctrine now, I admit. The modern of it is that he should his wife's torments unconcernedly, but that the sight ot her should not increase his joy. Once when my little daughter, then seven years of age, was lying, as I thought asleep, I tead aloud from a pamphlet called *'A Sight of Hell," by J. Furiu ss—an appropriate name [laughter] —ab jut a little boy who was baking in a huge oven, in a compartment of hell the explanation of his presencfe there, being that God saw that the little boy might get wor^e and called him out of the woild in early childhood, that its punishment might be less. ''What was „that?" my little daughter who had been listening, asked. I said that is wnat they preach in their churches. ••Then," said she, "'I will never go into a church while

I live," and she never has yet. One of the fathers of the church wished to utilizi the damned as fuel to warm the saved. Another poet—if it is lawful to call him a poet—Mr. Tupper, places hell in the moon. A Presbyterian preacher, ot Pittsburgh, says'fhe punishment of the darned will grow worse, and make them worse and worse. This same great authority also says that the devil was the first Universalist. Then I am on the side of the devil. Belief in the doctrine of the Trinity is necessary to escape hell. I war.t you to know just what it is so you will not bi able to plead ignorance. 1 am giving you the definition made by the ablest theologians of the world. (While Col. Ingersoll read,the audience laughed, and to the quoted enumeration of the attributes of the Trinity, he added, 'and entirely incomprehensible.") If you understand it after this is your own fault. If we don't beleive this, we've got to be busy howling and veiling with endless torments simply to make the blessed happy. Ought not a god to practice what' he preaches! Shall he tell us, "forgive our enimies but I will damn mine!" Let us measure these things by what we hope and by what we love. They tell us, don't throw away the Bible, your only corrfpass. Yes, but no two agree as to what the Bible means, and you can't tell which way north is by your compass, A clergyman once said in my hearing that the Bible was like a to vn clock, where every one may set his watch. But some one says the hands go round the other way another, that the long hand is the hour hand, and the short hand the minute hand another says that it has not been wound up for years. Let us wait until the sun rises, and set our watch by nature. Tell us there is ne heaven without the Bible! For my part I am ready to give up heavet10 get

r'd

of hell, would rather there should be no heaven—that there should be annihilation than that one single doul should toss in fire and suffer endless torments.

There is not in the Old Testament a word of hope spoken at the grave pf the dead. The idea of eternal lite, of immortality, was not born of any book, religion or creed. It was born of human affection, and will exist so long as love kisses the lips of death. We love, therefore we wish to live. Religion is not a creed it is a living thing. There have •feeen heathen who had better views on these subjects than we. Think of this beautiAil story written in the Persian book when you pay your money for missionaries. A Persian knocked at the

rates of heaven, and in answer to a

vant, oh God The gates did not open. After spending seven years in charitable deeds, he returned, and in answer to the same question, said: "thy slave, oh God!" and again he was not received. The third time, after seven more years, he came and answered, "thyself, oh, God," and the gates flew open. Another heathen story shows us a man who, on reaching heaven, was told bv God that his friends, who had fallen by the wayside, were in hell. He elected to give up heaven and to be with them. Whereupon God told him they had reached heaven before him, and the )rror had been told to test him. But he must deeds take in his dog, who had followed him to the gate of heaven And when the God objected, he said: "Ingratitude is the basest of crimes wili not desert my faithful dog." And the God told him to come in, dog and all.

We are getting better every day. We begin to see that society produces its own rascals. You have got to change men dhysically to reform them. I believe— bad as I am—that the time will come when we shall treat a criminal as one infected with a disease. Science has rescued us from the prison of superstition. i,

MR. BELMONT ON RICKS.

MR. HEND-

THE GOVERNOR'S RECORD EVIDENT MISTAKE OF A WESTERN PAPER. 16 NASSAU ST., NEW YOKK,

January 29, 1S7S.)

To the editor of the New York Herald: I notice that on the faith of a reporter's alleged interview with Govern01 Hendricks, published in the Cincinnati Commercial, he is charged with a co plete surrender to the silver lunacy. You will perceive that injustice is done to Governor Hendricks when you compare the unworthy language which the reporter puts into his mouth as utten ltst week with the true language uttered by Governor Hendricks himself in 1874.

Let me first state the fact that Governor Hendricks opposed the passage of the act in 1S69, but alter it was passed he took public pains in the very canvass which resulted in his election to the govern jrship to declare both its character and its binding force. In opposing the passage of the act in the enate. February 27. 1869, he had described the issue then joined as "the qaestion whether the holders of the bonds have an equitable claim upon us now while the difference between paper and gold is so great as it is to declare that the bonds shall be payable in gold

Such also was the description of that act of 1869 which was given alter its passage by tne Indiana Democratic platform that demanded its repeal in the following language:

Resolved, 1. That we are in favor of the redemption of the five-twenty bonds in greenbacks, according to. the laws under which they were issued.

Resolved, 2. That we are in favor of the reoeal of the law of March, 1869. which'assumed to constitute the law so as to make such bonds payable exclusively in gold:

But Governor Hendricks not only declared the ac to be of binding force and not repealable, he also declared repeatedly in the same speech that the act pledged the payment of the bonds in gold.

Is it creditable, therefore, that Governor Hendricks, who said September 21, 1874, "By the first act which Piesident •rant signed in 1S69 the faith and honor of the country are pledged to the payment in gold," can now have said that the restoration of silver and their payment in silver, "would be no breach of the public faith?" It is incredible for two reasons: 1, In 1S74, as now, the discarded silver dollar had fallen in value, and was worth, when he spoke, but 97.98 in gold. But Governor Hendricks did not yield to the temptation of dishonor and advocate payment in the cheaper coin. He said, "The faith and honor of the country are pledged to the payment in gold," not^ withstanding the gold dollar was then the more costly dollar. 2. The act of 1873 had discarded the silver dollar, and had said that the gold dollar, "at the standard weight of 25.8 grains shall be-the unit of value," so that to this act of 1873 the language of Governor Hendricks as to the act of 1869 perfectly applies: "What is the effect of the act pledging payment in gold? Upon that question 1 have no doubts. Congress passed it and the president approved and signed it. Tney had the constitutional power. Their acts within the sphere of their power blind the people. Millions of the bonds have since been sold and the purchaser must be paid in acct^dance with the pledge given, If my neighbor holds my note for money Jo which I have a complete defense in law, or that it was obtained by Iraud, I say to another neighbor who contemplates purchasing it that it is right and will be paid and, relying upon that statement, he does purchase it. I can not withdraw that statement. It binds me into whatever hands the note may subsequently pass. It is because my assurance induced him to buy the notes, and it would be a fraud upon the holder to allow me to set up any defense which existed at the time I made it. A lower standard can not be set up for the government than that which measures the rights and liabilities of individuals."

The argument applies, you perceive, with even more peculiar force to the act of 1873 than to the act of 1869, and I submit that it must be quite impossible that Governor Hendricks can have encouraged such another attack upon the faith "and honor ot the country," as he once, while a successful candidate for the highest honors of his state, trampled underfoot with such manly and pawerful arguments. Yours verv truly,

AUGUST BELMONT.

Morphia, opium, and remedies of their class only stupefy, and seldom sure. For diseases of infancy, use Dr. Ball's Babr Syrup—which is safe and sure in Its effscW. Price ascents.

"Yer go'n spend eyer cent what I bring yer home for striped stocking an' ther ain't nuthin to eat in ther house," is what a drunken man was telling a barber's pole when a policeman arrested him the other day. When taken to the station house he said he "guessed he could c'rect his wife if he wanted to 'tliout bein' rested."

At a recent Sunday-schpol concert the superintendent was talking about idols, when to ascertain whether the children were understanding what he was laying, he asked, "Children, what is an idol?" "Being lazw," was the loud and quick re^ ... sponsf of oneof tbt members

rf4he

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DEMOCRACY.

Meeting at the Court House Jo1 day. ,¥,

Fall List of Delegates to the State Convention.

A Resolution Instructing1 for Hon. Patrick Shannon Passed.

The Platform Adopted—Alt Enthusia»tic x/ Gathering.

The delegate convention was largels attended this afternoon and there way great interest manifested.

Mr. Andrew Grimes called the meeting to order. He was elected chairman, and Mr. Richard Carlton was made sec retary.

A committee on resolutions was appointed as follow*: A. B. Carlton, B. F. Havens, J. H. Kester. of Linton, Jos. Gilbert, of Harrison,Jno. Wilson of Lost Creek.

Mr. Simon Hirsch moved to appoint a committee of select delegates. ,r It was amended so as to read*

That each ward and each township eppoint its own delegate or alternate to represent it in the state convention.

The amendment was carried on a rising vote. The wards and townships elected as foil ws:

First Ward—W. B. Mack, delegate A. B. Carlton, contingent Hon. D. W. Voorhees, delegate at large.

Second Ward—Dr. VanValzah, delegafe Rooert Hunter, contingent. Tlvrd Ward—John E. Lamb, delegate J. F. Roedel, contingent.

Fourth Ward—Chauncey Pritchard and M. P. Cash. Fifth Ward—John.Hennesy and David Beard. ^.€

Sitxh Ward—Thos. A. Foley and Col. Cookerly. Harrison Township—P. W. Haggerty and Jos. Gilbert.

Lost Creek—Jos. Watson and Jno. Wilson. Nevins—Egburt Stuthard and Jos. McClintoch.

OtterCreek—Jno. A. Hall and Isaac Cottrell. ,.f Fayette—T.J.Ward aiid Geo. Vermillion.

Sugar Creek—Reuben Butz and F. C. Curley. Honey Creek—D. W. Ringgold fand Geo. Kruzan.

Prairieton—Charles St. John and Benj. Fleischer. Prairie Creek—Ebenezer "Paddock and Jos. Johnson.

Linton—N. B. Kennett and P. L. Kester. Pierson—Jno. A. Peters and A. L. Donham.

Riley—C. W. Russell and W. A. Conley. Hon D. W. Voorhees was made delegate at large from a number of townships.

Mr. Sydney Davis was appointed contingent delegate, for the county at large. Hon. Wm E Mack stated that as there would be lack of room in the convention room, the committee had limi'ed the number of delegates. He moved that all Democrats be invited.

Hon. Wm. E. Mack presented the following resolution, which was unanimous ly adapted. ,,

Resolved, That this convention having full confidence in the ability and integrity ot our distingushed citizen, Hon. Patrick Shannon, our delegates are instructed to use their influences and cast the vote of the county for his nomination as treasuier of state.

Hon. Wm. E. Mack made a few remarks and after some delay the committee reported resolutions, which were read by Judge Carlton—amid applaus were adopted.

Mr. B. F. Havens offered a substitute to the third clause which was added to the report.

The resoJutions are the same in matter as the platform laid down by Senatoi Voorhees in his great speech.

They favor silver, oppose resumption, advdeate the abolition of national banks, and ask that the government issue all the money and make it a full legal tender.

LA CREME DES CHRONIQJJES. The theater was crowded and the journalist asked of the box-keep-er t« find him a seat wherever she could. "I've got it," she said suddenly just the thing. There Is a lady all alone give you a seat by her. 'But," "objects the journalist, "I have not the honor of the lady's acquaintance,' and she may have some reluctance about'

"O, Lord, no! I'll answer for you I'll tell her you are my brother."

The neat-handed Phyllis lets fall a beautiful and costly Japanese platter that(praiaed be the gods!) is not smashed. "You'were lucky,''savs the mistress. "No, ma'am it was the dish that was lucky," says the maid.

•Yes, rrama, I took three lumps ot sugar out of th« cupboard," says the the little girl, contritely. ••That was very naughty, indeed, but as you have confessed it I shall forgive you. Go, and sin no more." „Then give me the other lump—I only took two.",.,,,

His friend Wis rather surprised to see him in a box at a performance of "The Stranger," accompanied by an elderly lady who was weeping a quart a scene, wherefore he said unto him as they, returned, chewing each a clove, "What in the name of the forty and nine Imaums brings you here." "O, thafs my mother-in-law," he replied, "who is as tender hearted at the 'theater as she isn't at home, so I humor the old lady by bringing her here." "But isn't it rather moaontonous for ^you?" "O, no I have the pleasure of seeing her cry."

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MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTJSEMEITS

VEGETirE-

HER OWN WORDS. *7

BALTIMORE, MD., Fob. 13,77.

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idly reooverel, gaining more usual health and good feeling- Since tt

have

not hesitated to give .Vegetine wO»t unqualified indorsement, as being we. sure and powerful agent in promotln»Hh restoring the wasted STgtcni to itife and energy. Vegetine is the only mne I use, and its long as I live, I never expo And a better. Yours truly, \V.H.AftK, 120 Montgomery St., A.!leghf Penn.

VEGETIN.

Tn£ BEST SPRING MBINf. Ctf-KSTOWN. Ma. If. B. STKVINS

Dear Sir,—This is to certithat I have used your "Blood Preparation! my family for several years, ano think tk.'or Sorofu'a

Cankerous Humors or Rhoatio affections it cannot be excelled as a blood pmiflor and spring medicine the best thing I have ever used, and 1 .ve uapd almost everything. I can cho.ully recommend it any one in noedofstt a medicine.

Yours respect"ul

MRS. A. A, PiX.SMORE, 10 K»jll,Street. 5 ftl'&t'A

VEGETIIE.

(y

'I t*1 »rt1

WHAT IS NEECI. BOSTON fob. 13,1871.

H. R. STSVKXS, ESQ: Dear Sir,—About one year ince I found myself in a leeb condition from general debility, Vegetine was stuJug'y recommended to ms by a friend whohiabeen much benefited b. its use. I p«*ocned the artlole, and, after using several ttla, wa^ restored to health, and discontinued ia use. 1 feci quite confident that thore isno medidne superior to it for those complaint* for which it isespeciady prepared, aid wou'dcheerfully recommend it to those vrho feel that they need something io restore tham

hralth

fo

perfect

Firm of S. M. I'ettentrill A Co., No. 10 stste St., Boston.

VEGETINE.

f,

ALL HAVE OBTAINED RELIEF. SO0TB BBRWICK,MK Jan. 17,1872. £1. R. STKVINS, ESQ.

Dear Sir,—I have had dyspepsia In its worst form for the last ten years, and have taken hundreds of dollars' wor of medicines without obtaining any relief. In Septemb.r last commenced taking the Vegetine, since whhh time my health has steadily improved. My food digests we 1, and I have gained flft jen nounds of flesh. There are several others In this place taking Vogatino. and til havt obtiined relie*.

VJ t-h

Y-zUrs truly, THOMAS E. MOORE,

n. •..Overseer of Card Room. ^Portsmouth Co's. Mills.

tf

.h

VEGETINE,

RKPABEU BY

Jlsfft

H. E. Stevens, Boston, Mass.

1

3lt!.

It .'UW JVIM'yduU

Vegetine is sold by all Orvggists

FOR

owa, California, and Northwest

-oii-

Kansas, Texas, and Southwest,

KE THE

dts

I. B.

J7V-

0 Trains Dally,

Leave Danville Junction

A- M.

follows:

Train makes direct con-

neot'.onvia. Bloomington for Sprinffield Jacksonville, I1U Louisiana ana Mexico Mo., Kansas City, Atchison, St. Joaeph Denver, and all points oi the Missouri rfver, via Hannibal with M. K. A T, Ry., for Moberly, Ft. Scott and Parsons, and via Bloomington fer El Pase. Modota, Dubuque and points in Northern Illinois and Iowa. Through Sleeper and Coach from Bloomington and Quiney to Kansas City, and Bloom ington to Dubuqne.

P"\JT

0:5 O

2:25 A.

Sif

Dialogue between two Bohemians. "Would, O would that I had fifty thousand a year. I know what I'd do. "What?" "Nothing.'

Train reaches Omaha at

10:16 next evening, bat one night out, Tea hours in advance of any other line. This train makes direct connection via DM Moirites, Marshalltown. Cedar Bapids and other points in Iowa add the Northwest.

This train also makes direct connestion ViaGalesburg to Quincy, Kansas city. Atchison, St. Joseph, Leavenworth ana all intermediate pofnts. and via Hannibal for Sedalia, Fert Scott. Parsons, Bennisoa Houston. Galveston and all points in Texas.

Galesburg, Quia-

ey, Burlington. Ottnmwa, Rock Island and Ijavenportat noon, in advance of any other This train~also connects via Burlington and Reck Island for all points in IOWA, NEBRASKA, and CALIFORNIA. This train makes direct connection via Bloomington for El Paso, Medota, Dubuque, Sioux City Yankton, and all points ih northern Illinois, Iowa a nd Dakota.

Reclining Chair Sleeping cars, with State Rooms ancrthrough coaches are run the 9,50 P. M. train to Gilesburg and co meeting direct with through Sleeper to all points west and from Omaha to Saa Francisco.

Special attention is called to the superior advantages of the I. B. A W. Route, for the Black Hills and San Juan gold fields,

I^Traiis on tho B. T. H. ft C. Railroad from Terre Haute connect at Danville with the I. B. AW.

The morning train on the L. C. & 8. W. Railway, makes direct connection at Crawfordsville for Indianapolis and all pofcits east.

Send for a ipy ef our Centennial Guide and Mapfoder. GEORGE B. WRIGHT. Receiver J.W. Brown, Gen* Pass and Ticket Agt-

FOR

•:X(

Indlanapo

SALE—FARM—57 acres of ggod land in cultivation,four and a half mTlee northeast of town, off the Lafayette road. The uroperty is well Improved, tifcvib house, barns, first-class wells, good orchari Ac, Terms easy* Call on or address

MORELL UNDERWOOD,

saw Terra Haute, Ind. •1* AYCAH. Agents wanted, manets legitimate. Partfcalaistte^

Hi*