Terre Haute Weekly Gazette, Volume 8, Number 45, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 7 June 1877 — Page 4

WM. C. BAIiL & CO., Prop's. WM. C. BILL..* BALL.

OFFICE, NO. 23 AND 25 SOUTH FIFTH.

The DAILYGAZETTE is oublished every afternoon except Sunday, ana sold by the carriers at 30 per tortnigtt. By mail %S-

OO per year *4,00 for su months ?2.0 for 3 months, The WEEKLY GAZETTE is issued every Thursday, and contains all thobest matter of the si* dally issues. The WEEKLY GAZETTE is the largest paper printed in Terre Haute, and is sold for. One copy per year, $2, six months, $1* three months, oOc. All subscriptions must be paid for in advance. No paper discontinued until all the arrearages are paid, unless at the option of the proprietor a failure to notify a

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eontinuance at the end of the year will be considered a new engagement. Address all letters.

WM. C.BALL & CO., GAZETTE. Terre Haute, Jnd

THURSDAY, JUNE 7, 1877.

THE Isles of Greece are burning with war fever and Kalafat if? under fire.

THE attempt of the Czar to take Constantinople is positively in Sultan.

IT is not exactly KIN E of the City Council to let female bovines roam at large in the streets. Indeed it is cowardly.

LUTHER BENSON has again lapsed from virtue. He was arrested in Indianapolis a few days ago for being drunk and disorderly.

A CABLEGRAM to the New York Ilerald from London states that Motley, the dead historian, had finished his literary work. It this is the case an early publication may be expected.

How anybody can expect the Sultan of Turkey to do anything in the Council Chamber or on the field is more that the GAZETTE can fathom. A fellow who has a hundred wives and a hundred moth' ers-in-law certainly has his hands full Oh Pasha!

E. V, Smalley the London correspondent of the New York Tribune, writes to that paper stating that if a general elec tion was to be held in England now Gladstone's adherents would make a clean sweep of the most important boroughs and carry many of the counties.

OUR State House Commission is contemplating a visit to Springfield to view the capitol of Illinois. A visit to Rockford and an inspection of the ruins of the court house there would not be unproduc tive of good results. And while they are about it the commission might study the history of the Corlinville court house to advantage.

LADIES who have shopping to do would do well to consult the columns of the

GAZETTEbefore

going out to make

their purchases. Those who advertise are usually anxious to sell and those anxious to dispose of

their

goods are most

likely to sell cheap. Therefore for bargains patronize those who advertise in the evening GAZETTE. This advice will hold good also in the case ot men.

THE European situation may be summed up in the statement that peace may be made very seon or the fight will be localized to Russia and Turkey, or will spread over Europe, involving several other and possibly all of the powers. It is believed these three statements exhaust all the possibilities. On the strength of this intelligence any one can 6«e how to speculate in the Chicago grain market.

"GREEN grow tne rashes O sang Burns in Scotland. But the rashes wouldn't have grown green in Scotland if the town authorities had not enacted a stringent cow ordinance. "The rashes" —whatever the rashes are—would grow here, if our City Council would only pass an ordinance and keep the cows from eating them. The GAZETTE trusts the Councilmen will put this in their mouths and chew it, and then chew the cud.

CONSTANTINOPLE.

Now is the time to teach the youth how to spell Constantinople. Here we go. Con? C-o-n, Con, Stan? S-t-a-n, Stan, Constan, Ti? T-i, ti, Constanti, No! T-i c, ti, No T-y, ti, No 1! T-y-e, ti. Can't spell "no?" Oh bother. N-o no, p-l-e, pie, Constantinople. It is a pretty hard place to capture orthographically, however, it may be topographically, geographically, strategically, torped ocally or Cossackally. This paragraph Is not expected to raise the price of wheat or even to raise a smile.

i. THE FOURTH OF JULY. If Terre Haute intends to have a big •Fourth of July celebration it is high time our citizens were about it. The meeting last night was not a success. These sort of things do not attend to themselves. The men who are interested in this thing —and who is not? must put their shoulders to the wheel. One of two things will happen on the Fourth of next July. We will either have a fine "Celebration which will, first of all keep Our own people at home and secondly bring in strangers from every point around uc, or we will have no celebration at all. In the latter event four or five thousand people will go away from home and the dullest day of a dull year •will be this very same Fourth of July. Another meeting will be held on Thursday night. Now let us see who will attend.

A paragraph was running the rounds of the press a few days ago to the effect that Hiram Grant, when some sycophantic fellow, was remarking to him on the failure of Scheers and Banks as soldiers, and opened his oracular* mouth and said that they had the misfortune to begin military life as Major Generals1 The Cincinnati Commercial hits the bulls eye in the very center when it fays that none of the crowd of spectators who listened to this iron-pointed wisdom, thought to remark on the misfortune of a man who began his career of statesman as president. Grant's career as president affords an incomparable illustration of the necessity of a man knowing something about the duties of a position he attempts to fill, to 6ay nothing of his posessir.g honesty sufficient to uo his duty when he sees it.

THE NEW GAS COMPANY Editors of the GAZETTE The proposition of the new gas company certainly offers great inducements to the city. But how, about the gas used by private consumers. Are the}' to be placed at any rate the company see fit to charge? There are hundreds of citizens who have gas fixtures in their houses that' do not use gas on account of the exorbitant cost that desire the advantages of cheap gas and should have it as well as the city CITIZEN,

If citizens would take the pains to read section 2 of the companys charter, he would find that "The price at which said company shall furnish the ci*y and inhabitants with gas shall not exceed the following rates $2.50 for each 1000 cubic feet. In section one he will also find an important provision that will be a great saving of expense to those who desire to put gas in their houses. Said company shall make no charge for any meter nor for rent of same nor shall any charge be made for service pipe laid upon any street, gutter or sidewalk, for aying said pipe, for properly repairing all streets, gutters or sidewalks thereafter, nor for tapping any mains.

If the people will take the pains to investigate this matter fully they will find that it is the fairest and most advantageous proposition that has ever come before them.

A QUESTION OF VERACITY. A few days ago the New York Sunc published what purported to be the substance of a letter from President Hayes to General Garfield, requesting the latter to withdraw as a candidate for the Ohio Senatorship. According to the published letter Hayes held cut to him promise that he would be the leader of the Republicans in the House and could probably be elected speaker. All the aid the administration could give to secure tha result by working among supposed disaffected Democratic Congressmen from the South was also offered in this promissary note from the President to Garfield.

Within'two days after the publication of this letter, Garfield comes, but in a card denying that he ever received any such epistle and declaring that the publication in the Sun was a forgery and a fraud. But this did not end the controversy. The Sun remained to be heard trom. Gibson, its Washington correspondent, sends a dispatch stating that Hayes did write such a letter to Garfield. What he sent to the Sun did not purport to be a verbatim copy. It gave the substance of a veritable letter and gave it correctly. In prooi of this he alleges that, within a few hours after its reception, Garfield showed it to at least a score of persons among whom were three reputable correspondents, each and all of whom could testify to the accuracy of the copy he sent from memory to the Sun.

It will now be in order lor Garfield to rise and explain. In the meantime however the prospect of Hayes being able to fulfill the promise made seems extremely problematical.

GAS.

At the meeting of the Common Council last night, the following action was taken:—Mr. Hager, from the committee on gas, reported that the committee had concluded to renew the contract of last year with the old gas company, contract to commence July 1st.

Mr. Harris was opposed to making such terms at the present time. Mr. Smith thought something must be done to keep the city lighted up. The old council, sometime since,ordered the company to quit lighting in three months. Let the arrangement be made for the time being, not otherwise. He moved that the gas company be instructed, through the gas committee, to light up until further notice.

Mr. Hager moved for a special committee. Mr. Scudder meved that Mr. Smith's motion be refered tp the committee on gas. So ordered.

Go slow, gentlemen go slow. You had better consult your constituents be fore you perpetrate this outrage in the interest of a menopoly that has grown rich off the necessities of this city. Consult with the thousand unemployed labors whose families are suffering for the necessaries of lite. Consult the merchants and business men whose business is languishing because labor is idle. Thig over taxed people have some rignts that even their City Council will have to respect. To renew the old contract means to pay $3,70 per 1,000 feet fo.-the gas used in street lamps. To accept the proposal of the new company means abetter quality of gas at $1.58 per 1,000 feet, an immense saving to the private consumer, and the distribution of a large

N 'i yjHaaw aTT.i .n an-

THE TERRE HAUTE WEEKLY GAZETTE.

amount of money for labor and material, 'n this city. No one has ever questioned the security of the city in the proposed contract.Therefore in the name of threefourths of the citizens of Terre Haute we demand that the Council act upon the petition of their constituents and not at the behest of a few rich monopolists.

WITHIN the past year very remarka ble improvement has been made in the Cincinnati Enquirer. As a purveyor of news it has no superior in the west and few, if any, equals, while in quantity and quality of news no paper in the east, except only the New York Herald, can compare with it. Its "make up" is admirable, and, to the GAZETTE, just a lita little mysterious. Its every day dress is a seven-column quarto, making fiftysix colums. This is the standard size of the largest metropolitan dailies, being the same as the New York, Chicago, and St. Louis papers. The mysterious element of its "make up" consists in the way it decks itself out on extra occasions when it feels too big for its every day clothes. All other papers on such occasions issue a supplement of two, four, or eight pages, which is essentially a nuisance. The Enquirer avoids this and blossoms out as an eight column quarto, adding a column to each page and making 64 columns of the whole paper. In this way space is obtained and the nusiance of a supplement is avoided. As thus issued, the Enquirer is the largest single sheet paper issued in this section of the country.

By what mechanical contrivance it accomplishes '.his, we do no* know-, but the result is admirable. On Saturday and Sunday this mammoth sheet is regularly issued.

On its telegraphic news columns a mint of money is lavished with a prodigal hand. It has correspondents everywhere whose instructions seem to be 10 6end all the news and by telegraph, regardless of expense. In this way the whole field is gleaned. At the chief news centres such as Washington, New York, Chicago, St. Louis, Louisville, In dianapolis, Boston and Philadelphia it seems to have a bureau and its dispatches are full to entire satisfaction.

But at the present time, the feature is its arrangement for obtaining special dis_ patches trom Europe. By an arrangement with the New York Herald, it is enabled to telegraph all its voluminous cablegrams to Cincinnati, where they key appear in the Enquirer at the same time that they are published in the Herald.

The only present difficulty in the way of its obtaining an almost unlimited circulation in this tection of the State is the latenes of its arrival. It ought by all means to renew the arrangement it had a' few months ago with the I. C. & L. Ry., by which it reached Indianapolis at an early hour and this place by 10 A. M. But with its ustial enterprise we are sure it will renew the running of the fast train, if not in connection with its contemporaries, then alone, in which case it would asorb all the advantage to itself.

PRAYING TO THE POINT Lafayette Loader Appropos of extemporaneous and pointed supplication to the Throne of Grace in time of great extremity, it is attributed to the late President Fiftney to have said in a deep and lervent prayer on the France-German war, "Oh Lord, how long? how long? Bring this war to a speedy close. O Lord, th go on kill ing woman and children and burning villiages, and they call this civil waifare. O Lord did you ever hear of any thing so ridiculous?"

Akin to this is a prayer made at Cincinnati during the war of the rebellion by Rev. Granville Moody, well .known as the "fighting pa-ison," and with whom many of our citizens have an intimate personal acquaintance. With the zeal and eloquence for which the reverend gentleman is noted, he delivered himselj in this wise: "O Lord, thou knowest when we received the blow on one cheek in the firing on the "Star of the West," we turned the other and received the second blow at fort Sumter and now "we "ask thee O Lord, is it not our turn?"

A good o'd chaplain of one of the Indiana regiments, of which Lafayette and Tippecanoe county furnished over a hundred members, thus addressed the God of Battles on the eve of an important engagement during the late civil war. "Oh Lord, if thou art a going to do anything for us, now is your time. But if thou can'st not consistently help our side, for heaven's sake don't help the other, but just stand oft, O Lord, and give us a fair chance, and perhaps you'll see one of the gaul-damest fights that ever you did see." 7

THE JOURNAL SUIT

To day the case of jno. J. Brake againt Burton G. and Mrs. Hanna, is being tried at the circuit court

The circumstances are these: Col. R. N. Hudson some time since sold an interest in the now defunct Journal to Burton G. Hanna tor $5,000.

It was secured in prop uty belonging to Mrs. Hanna at Sullivan. This mortgage Mr. Hudson afterward sold to Jno.

Brake for $1,700 and Brake is now pushing his claim. Messrs Jndge Scott and Mack and Alien are "for the defense and H. D. Sco tt plaintiff.

The fellow who entered a dry goods Store at Cazenovia, Madison County, and, thinking to perpetrate a joke, punch ed the dummy 00 which patterns of dressess are displayed, saying, "Well, old gal, how are you?" was greeted by the old woman with the infosmation that she would "let him know how she was," and has since paid out nearly all his months salary in buying things for the boys."

A YOUNG man of the northeast end went out in the country to learn to be a fanner, recently, was very careful in

ways, I

HOW I WAS OVERREACHED

Some men are born to work, some men like work, and some have work thrust upon them. I was one of the latter class. Destiny tapped me on the shou1der when I had arrived at years of discretion, and said: "Jo, my dear boy, I have placed you at the foot of the ladder get up if you can, I shan't hinder you but it is time you went to work." "All right, old lady," said I. "Not a doubt of what you say only there is one obstacle you have overlooked, and that is, nature—my nature. Nature has endowed me with fine perceptive faculties, and a decided love for the beautiful. The man that has a more thorough relish lor good dinners, fine horses, and all the other comf®rts of this life, may take my hat and that's a fair offer, for it's a new one. But Destiny, my dear, I can conscientiously affirm that Nature hasn't endowed me with the slightest inclination for work. 'Labor brutifies,' as some one wisely saj s. It spoils the hands it gives me a stoop it's tiresome and it's at war with the artistic tendencies of my nature. I disapprove of thwarting Nature, as I believe 6he knows what is best for us. Consequentl}', I can't—and won't —work."

And so Destiny, finding that I was in earnest, compromised the matter, and settled me in one of the learned professions—never mind which, as my sign and office were the only realities about it it being a "profession," literally, and nothing more. I might however, have gone on with it peacefully, to the end of my days were it not for one unfortunate fact. Natures, however artistic and refined have one thing in common with those of grosser mold. They must eat or become more ethereal than

iis

at all comfortable.

And when your landlady has the bad taste to insist 011 being paid for the last six months' board, you may sigh over her vulgarity, and lament her want of sympathy and congeniality, but—so far as my somewhat extended experience ges you must pay up or quit. When, in addition to this, your tailor insists on spending his evenings with you—your bootmaker is waiting »t the door and accompanies yiu every day down town—while you generally find the keeper of the livery stable, whom you honor with your patronage, with his heels on the mantel of your office—when, in short, you are over head and ears in debt, it is time for a fellow to look about him. That is just what I did, and a remarkably barren prospect I found it. Nature, as I have before hinted, had closed against me the avenues of labor, and I was in no hurry to open them. An unsympathizing world couldn't appreciate me, while my stomach was as clamorous as my creditors, and I was getting terribly '"down in the mouth," when an idea visited me. "Jo," said the idea, "where are }'our wits, old boy? You are ruined anyway you had better get married."

And now, I don't want anybody to hold up puritanical hands in horror, and commence all the old cant about "inter ested marriages," ''profanation of the purest and loftiest sentiments of our nature," etc. It all depends on constituj tion. Some men could love a woman who did her own work, had red hands, and woie calico. I frankly confessed that I couldn't. If I had to bother my brains about the price of potatoes, and where Ned, and Hal, and Sukey, and Jem were to get their shoes, 1. am conscious that these unworthy cares, so re pulsive to my refined nature, would make me a brute. I should probably take to drinking, and amuse myself by kicking my wife. And having no fortune myself, I should be doing any woman in the same predicament an injury to marry her. Besides, when I think of the numberlesss dangers to which an heiress is exposed in this world, I feel my heart so swelled with compassion that I realy believe that I would marry a girl with a hundred thousand out of sheer benevolence, to save her from the needy and designing fortune-hunters, whom—in common with the rest of the world—I regard with much indignation and contempt. Let none therefore, impugn the motives with which I packed my valise and started on a visit to an old college friend, George Armitage for, if I iemcmbered that Armitage place was always gav, and espicially thronged with company at the Christmas season, and that there might be heiresses among them, I thought also of what an uncommonly fine chance lor a good husband was traveling toward them, and mentally congratulated the lucky girl who should get me.

Armitage Place stands on the Hudson, and is' that fine Gothic building, with graperies anc conservatories, and a car-riage-house considerably handsomer than itself, that every one admires, and pronounces to be the "correct thing." It was full of mammas aud daughters—as houses always are when there is a marriageable son with a hundred thousand or so in his own right but there was only •ne heiress—Evelyn Somers—and one beauty—Georgia Haight. I had not been an hour in the house when I determined to flirt with the latter and marry the for mer, with an inward pang, I own for Evelyn was not in the least to my taste —small, barely good-looking, and dressing with a Quaker-like simplicity while Georgia—well, I really believe if I had had an income ot a thousand a year should have been mad enough to mar ry that girl. She was one of your glorious blondes, with a proud, calm face, and deep, serious blue eyes. She was never a hurry, or fussy. She made no ungraceful movements, dressed

:n

perfect taste, did everything well, and had arrived at 6uch a rare degree of selfconsciousness that she never seemed conscious of herself at all. I could have knocked George Armitage down with pleasure when he told me that she was penniless, and no visitor, but his sister's governess f»r I telt that she was worthy of me.

As it was, I suddenly found developing a quality of which I had never suspected myself a remarkable love for children, that had the effect of keeping me much of my time in the school-room and manifested itself in presents of books and flowers t» their governess I'm not a vain man, therefore I shan't say that, by degsees, Georgia grew to expect and wish for my visits.

But, in the meantime, I was getting on famously with Evelyn. She had taken a violent fancy to my mustache from the outset so that all I had to do was to learn the names of her sixteen confidential friends bvheart,listen patiently to extracts from their letters, and go into raptures at the right blace. So, before long our-

there was no one else in the music room. And when I ventured to take her hand, though she alwaps said: "Why! Mr. Simcoe, how can your"' she never withdrew it. In fact, it wa9 quite a settled Miing. George congratulated me on my conquest the other men stood aside Evelyn took no pains to hide her preferences while I—well, I had picked out the place where I meant to build, and settled it that we should go to Europe, and then I should have a yacht and a span of fait trotters.

But in all my dreams of the future, there was always beside me a proud figure and a fair, calm face, that belonged to the school-room and the nursery, and had no more connection with Evelyn Somers than it had an idea of the manner in which I conducted myself with that young lady.

And so matters went on till the night before Christmas. All had been busy tying pine wreaths, and making mottoes in .wax to decjrate the dining room, where towered in a niche a lofty Christmas trte—none of your toy-shop's madeup affairs, but a genuine monarch of the woods or, if it wasn't quite large enough for that, we'll call it a prince, and say no more about it. Gay flags, colored tapers, and shining balls weighed down its branches, while piled up at its foot was a mound of packages of ever}' size and shape, duly labled and ready for distribution.

Nc^one had been busier, than I, winding twine, doing up parcels, and writing addresses, under awful injunctions of s.crecv. I had contributed my mite to swell the mound of gifts, as a tiny odd-ly-shaped box, bearing the name of Evelyn Somers, could testify. Why, then, at midnight, did I steal from my room along the wide entries, and tiptoe into the dining-hall? Simply because, while purchasing (on credit) a gift for Evelyn, my truant fancy had pleased herself L/ thinking how a certain pearl bracelets nd eardrops would become the rounded arm and rosv eartips of Georgia Haight, and made such a pretty picture of it that I brought them forthwith, and was now about to deposit them under the shade of the Chaistmas tree. It was quite dark, the only light heing that from the embers of the dying fire and the niche was so much in shadow that I could scarcely find a place to deposit the jewel-case. And in groping about, I stumbled! in stumbling I put out my hand to save myself, and in so doing I seized another hand in my own —soft, warm, small and, unless my senses had turned traitors and liars, the hand of George Haight. That touch was the spark that fired the magazine of wishes, hopes, and fears—all the stronger for their long repression. The little hand struggled a moment in mine, but I clasped the more firmly, and drawing her toward the light, told, without introduction or apology, all that I had so long thought in sccret. I loved the girl, so that 1 grew eloquent. I forgot about Evelvn,and the voyage to Europe, and the j-acht. If ever there was a genuine, honest, turning inside out of a human heart, that was one and Georgia, after one or two shivers like a lrightened bird, listened in that sort of silence that gives consent. I went back to my room with the knowledge that she loved me, and dreamed of her all night, only to be plunged by the return of morning into a disagreeable cold bath of forgotten realities and unpalatable facts that soon brought me to my senses and kept me all the morning as pale and silent as a ghost.

Evelyn—poor child—couldn't divine the cause of my sudden moroseness, and tried in vain te bring me back to sociability and good temper. I was so savage with myself, ar.d so thoroughly in love, and so miserable that her hundred thousand looked very much smaller in my eyes than it generally did and I am not sure that I wasn't guilty of downright incivility—for Evelyn at last burst into tears and sobbed out:

Oh! Mr. Simcoe. how can you be so unkind What have I done to offend you You will break my heart."

That brought me back to my senses, and then came apologies, and tears, and sighs and sobs, and—well, I don't know how, but when we left the conservatory, Evelyn and I were what society, with gentle sarcasm, calls "engaged." So now that I had attained what I had so eargerIy intrigued for, I was a little nearer distraction than before. I had never loved Evelyn, but I now almost hated her ar.d her caressing manners, and innocent proprietorship of me were so unendurabte that, pleading an engagement, I left her, and went out to try and collect my censes in the open air.

If Georgia should hear of it—and she must hear of it—she must know, sooner or later. I had never seen her but in her gentlest moods, but I had an instinc tive knowledge of the fire burning beneath all that cold, sweet gravity, and I fairly shrank within myself as I pictured to myself her awful—because just—indignation. I had not a word to offer in self-defense, and yet how could I bear silently to sink into her contempt, loving herasldid? Thus thinking, I turned a corner somewhat suddenly and before I could draw back or collect my thoughts, I found myself face to face with her, The first glance at her pale, indignant face and flaming eyes, told that she knew all (though how I never knew) and so plainly was the reproach ana accu sation I hat she scorned to 6peak written there, that, as if the words were forced from me, I exclaimed, involuntarily: "0, Georgia. I could not help it!"

The superb figure seemed to dilate with scorn. "Are you a man?" she demanded, coldly. And so completely was I cowed by conscience, and those flaming, pitiless eyes, that, though I had always be lieved that I belonged to the genus homo—I felt at that moment by no means sure of the fact. "Georgia, I love you—'pon my soul do," I commenced feebly, but she sharply interrupted me: "Love? Yes I believe that—as much as you could. What your feable soul could grasp of that mightp passion— what little there is of earnestness, truth or honesty in your nature yoa gave to me. I believe that only it is so very small a portion, so faint a flame, contrasted with your worship of eaae and wealth, that i} makes the gift scarcely a desirable one." "But listen to reason, Georgia. I have nothing but my profession. It would be years betore we could marry."

She laughed scorn folly. "We marry? I become the wife of a man who would sell me to the Sultan, were it for his interest? Be at ease Mr. Simcoe I have no deoire to rob Miss Somers of her bridegroom."

Bfi at ease, indeed. Why, there was a

•s»

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malicious triumph in her handsome eyes -a devil in the smile with which she turned away from me. that might have roused the fears of the thickestheaded boor that ever wore brogans. Much more did it alarm such a ahrewd, sensible, wide-awake fellow as myself, I felt sure she was plotting mischief. A moment after I was doubly sure, when I passed her in earnest conversation with, Mr. Somers. (Did I mention that Evelyn had a father-a gay olu gentleman with a scratch and embroidered shirt-bo-som?) That looked ominous. I couldn't ,ose Evelyn, too-love and fortune both in one day. I hurried on to the house where I found my fiancee calmly ciocheting. With h«*r usual amiability she listened to my huiried arguments in favor of an immediate private marriage and when I had finished, laid down her work-put on her hat-walked out with me fo the church and became Mrs. Joe Simcoe.

So I had forestalled Georgia's revenge. She miget talk to Mr. bomers as much as she liked and I waited calmly with my bride the old gentleman's return, which only took place an hour before dinner. Then I presented to him—my wife. "Congratulate you with all my heart." responded the old gentleman, with a vigorous shake ot the hand. "Duced glad of it, for I have been doing the same thing and misery, they say, loves company. He, he—my wife, Mrs. Somers."

Georgia Haight, as I live or rather, Georgia Somers, calm, triumphant, wickedly smiling! I fancy that as I looked at her, my face must have been the nearest approach to chaos that has ever been seen sice the creation but I stammered out something, I don't know what, aud retreated, bearing off Evelyn in a fainting fit.

Evelyn and I are living in rooms now,: on a thousand a year, which her father generously allows us. Mrs. Georgia Haight is a stately somewhat severe leader of the ton, with six children, all—unluckily for us—well and healthy. She makes an exemplary mother-in-law, but somehow I am not very fond of going there perhaps becauss she is fond of referring to my late protestions of love for her.

IIIS BUSINESS PRINCIPLES. Detroit Free Press. About one o'clock yesterday a citizen who was passing through the Central Market was halted by a gone-to-seed stranger, who said: "Sir, I want to raise money to establish a large college in this city—one fully equal to Harvard or Yale. Can you invest ten cents

The citizen asked for further particulars, and finally handed out the small sum. The stranger walked directly to a saloon and bought a thumping big drink of whisk}, and was swallowing the last of it when the citizen jostled his elbow and said: "Aren't you about two-thirds fraud and the rest dead-beat ,'No, sir! No, 9ir was the emphatic response. "I claim to be honest and upright." "How about that college Didn't I give yov ten cents towards its establishment "You did, sir." "And you have spent it for drink?" "I have, sir but let me explain. My business principles are as firmly fixed the laws of nature. Whenever I set out to establish a college I always drink ten cents worth of whisky to nerve me up and encourage me. I am sixty lour years old, and I have never departed from this rule in a single instance. I have had my drink, have maintained my business principles, and now I'll go out and establish the college. Do you know of an eligible site containing about one hundred acress of rolling ground?"

New York has double-decked street cars. Too much change in the weather and too little in our pocket books.

A New Orleans man who stole ice was acquitted on the ground that ice is water, and that water is turnished free by nature.

Dr. Aver is permitted to play croquet and, as he doesn't get angry and say things, there can be little doubt that he is crazy.—[Rochester Democrat.

In the spring a rage for cleaning burns within the house-wife's breart In the spring the wanton shop-girl gets herself another dress.

The Boston papers demand an institution where animals can be carried, and "those that love them know they will be tenderly and painlessly put to death."

People who eat strawberries and cream for the sentiment of the thing may be further encouraged by the fact that the Empress Eugenie had an attack of barvest-apple colic the other day after her dish of strawberries.—[Free Press.

Man claims there are few things he cannot do better than a woman, but the most experienceu base-ball player can never hope to equal the dexterous backhanded action with which a woman "picks up" her dress.—[Philadelphia Bulletin.

A little girl in Clinton was learning her little brother the Lord's Prayer the other night, and, when she had said, "give us this day our daily bread." he suddenly called out. "Pray for sirup, too, sister, pray for sirup, too."—[Ogden Junction.

A Frenchman having heard the word press made use of to signify persuasion, as "Press that gentleman to have something to eat," took occasion at a party to use a term which he thought synonymous, and begged a friend to squeeze a young lady to sing.

Mr. Alger says "a woman opens a book, sees a dried leaf, and sheds tears." And it is pretty much the same with a man. He open6 a favorite book just returned by a borrower, sees a torn leaf, and feels like shedding tears—or the borrower's blood.—Norristown Herald.

A little four-year old girl visiting a neighbor was asked if she would have some bread and butter. "No," she replied, rather sorrowfully, "my ma said I musn'taskyou for biead and butter then suddenly brightening up she said, "Have you got any cookies?"

There was a hurried rush in front of one of the news offices last evening, a smothered howl, a patter as the fragments which but a moment before filled the air fell to the sidewalk, and then the crowd separated and walked peacefully homeward. They had killed the man who wanted to point out all the places on the war map.—[Bridgepoat Standard.