Terre Haute Weekly Gazette, Volume 8, Number 36, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 5 April 1877 — Page 4

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jfcmtt*

^rM, C. BALL & CO., Prop's.

WM. 0. SAIL F. UU.

Office, No. 22 South Fifth St

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Terre Haute, Ind.

THURSDAY, APRIL 5,1877.

CONGRESS will meet again in Ji^ne.

^ENTRANCE to elevator" is said to be the new sign for saloon in Syracuse since Rev. Hammond took that place by •storm.

WENDELL PHILLIPS does not waste words in his eulogy of Secretary John Sherman. He merely says: "He entered •Congress poor and left it rich." This tells the whole storv.

WHEN a legislative session is ended it is an important question to know the mistakes made in the enactment of laws. „It not unfrequently happens that the defects are more glowing than good. The .obvious mistakes of the'last session have ibeen unearthed by the attaches of the

Secretary of State.

.Soldiers still stand guard over the •States of Louisiana and South Carolina •contrary to the bargain made by Hayes .and in violation of the Constitution. The Philadelphia Times hits the nail square -#n the head when it says: "One thing is irrevocably settled, and *Hayes cannot be ignorant of the lesson— •that bayonet elections and nailitary •support of official usurpers are at.an «end in thif country, and the adinanistcaHon will either obey the mandate of the (people voluntarily, or it will be compelled •to obey the Congress that is soon to speak •for them in their might."

BLAINE seems determined to make, ^amends for his initial attack on Hayes. ®he\telegraph from to-day gives an ac-i .count of his calis at the White House.

Of his idea of the cabinet when it was tfimt appointed, he gives a capital i'JustraItion in the following story: '"Once upon a time a party of gentleone in Maine started on a hunting exjp«4ition. On the way they elected one jo

S

their number to the responsible position of cook, with the understanding that Abe .first .one who growled or objected to the.cooking should take the cook's place, that this rule should continue throughout the trip.. On the first morning out, while at breakfast, one of the party took up a biscuit, bit out a piece and immediately exclaimed "Whw how«alty but I like it."

Jusr

what to do with Grant, is a ques­

tion now puzzling many editorial brains. An impression is prevalent in the guild that hexnii6t not be allowed to sink back into the kind ot life that filled the full measure of his being, prior to the war Among tiie late suggestions 16 the following from the Louisville CourierJournal. It 6ays: "The rumor that he is meditating a

gtock

farm in the blue-grass country is perhaps not without foundation. It is the best thing he can do. There is no country in the world where a voluptuary can get as much pleasure and profit out of a little work as in the blue-grass country. All the fellows up there hunt, fish and play mamble-the peg, The thoroughbreds are abundant. The cattle likewise. General Grant has only to buy him four or five hundred acres of land and a hammock, to swing out the rest of his days in plenty and peace. Personally, he will be made welcome He shall have free passes over all our railroads. He shall be elected a life member of our Jockey Club. Tn his old age, he might go to the Legislature, and, when he dies, we'll bury him with all the honors of war by the side of his Mexican conirade6 who lie in the cemetery at Frankiort."

LOUISVILLE.

JTFBDICAL SOCIETY IN SESSION THERE.— ATTEMPTED ESCAPE OF A BURGLAR.

Louisville, Ky. April 4.—Kentucky St&te Medical Society is in »session here. Harry Johnson a supposed leader of a band of burglars before the commencement of his trial to-day sought to escape by descending

40

feet from a window in

the court house. He used a small piece of twine and had hardly proceeded four feet when it broke allowing htm to fall to a brick pavement below when he was picked Up Johnson was discovered to be severely injured. Paper pepper and a large knife were found in his posession*

He has at last been discovered The man that made that mysterious one foot print on a lounge bed in the Fourth ward, and they do say his name ought to be W. W, P. Such is life. To-day you are somewhere to-mofrow—where are you? Wander it he will continue to go about telling all parties it is not Wp? Now set up««i be easy.

THE SNOW FLOOD.

I 1

A

This was serious news to me, for, although my collegue from the Land of Cakes was quite correct in his assertion that we were safe at Kiachta, a fortified positionjtoo to be attempted by the barbarian foe, there was one whose life I held dearer than my own, and who, should the tidings of a Mongol inroad be confirmed, might be exposed to some peril.

I, Frank Richards, had been, during two out of the three years which I had passed in this out-of-the-way corner of the Russian dominions, a clerk in the firm of Merton & Paulovitch, the managing partner of which resided at Irkutsh, and "was, as his name implies, like myself, an Englishman. Mr. Merton, however, was one of those Anglo-Russians ot whom many are to be found in the higher mercantile society of St. Petersburg, and who have taken root, as it were, in the country where a greater part of their lives had been spent. He was a man of considerable property, and as a member of the Fur Trading Guild was possessed ot certain valuable privileges which almost amounted to a monopely.

It was with anger and annoyance that the rich merchant learned that his clerk was in lore with his only daughter, Ellen and that the sentiment was reciprocal. Mr. Merton, as was very natural, had other views for his daughter's establishment in life. He was always looking forward to the day when,leaving the active conduct of the business in younger hands he would withdraw to the capital, where Miss Merton, as a well-dowered heiress, might very probably marry a Count or possibly a Prince. It was pitiful antithesis to such exalted visions that she should bestow her hand on a mere subordinate in the house of Merton Si Paulovitch. "I like you Richards," the merchant had said to me not unkindly "and if you and Ellen too, will but be reasonable and promise to forget this folly Ah! well, then there is no help for it, I see."

And thereupon we parted.. I was a good linguist, and well trained to the routine of business in that remote region so that it was easy enough for me to obtain employment in a mercantile house in Kiachta, at a higher rate of salary than that w&ch I had hitherto drawn. I doubt however, if I should have cared to continue any longer in my self-imposed excite from the civilization of Europe had it not been that I could not muster the resolution to tear myself away from the country of which Ellen Merton was still an inhabitant. Even this poor consolation was, it seemed, soon to be taken from me, tor that gossipr. of the colpny were unanimous that the ensuing winter was the last that would see the Mertons resident in Siberia.

And then, preceded by certain threat enings rumors, to which scanty credence had been attached, there had occurred the Mongol incursion, prompted as there was reason to suspcct, by the Chinese authorities, of whose sentiments toward the

rival

empire, pressing yearly closer to

their extensive frontier, few doubts could be entertained by even the most optimistically disposed of the motley European community—Russian, German Polish and British—whose task it was to develoo the great natural resources of this long neglected corner of the earth. We were well aware that in reply to the diplomatic remonstrances, the Mandarins at the helm of the state would disclaim all responsibility for the acts of a tribe of turbulent marauders, while at the same time they would chuckle slyly at the injuries thus vicariously inflicted on the detested Fan Qjii.

On the fourth day after the outbreak of hostilities, there arrived in Kiachta a

?Iroup

ot Englishmen, engineers and Ornish miners, from a valuable mine on the further bank of the Amour, the whole plant of which had been wantonly destroyed by the Mongol raiders. They reported the station of Cherinsk, with all its factories and dwellings, to be in flames while the Eusopean residents, with such of their property as they could contrive to save, were slowly retreating, under the protection of a military escort, to-ward Irkutsk. "Toward Irkutsk!" I exclaimed, incred ulously "you mean, 6urely, toward Kiachta. It would be running into the lion's mouth to attempt the long march over the open plains that lie between the northern end of Lake Bakal and the mountains at the head waters of the Amour. No one in his senses would give such an advantage to the fleet-footed enemy."

But my informant was positive as to the route which the caravan of refugees from Cherinsk had adopted. A Cornish miner, dispatched thither to purchase powder for blasting purposses, immediately before the inroad, had rejoined his comrades with the news. It appeared that the decision, perilously unwise as it seemed to me, to select the longer and more northerly line of march, had been formed by Count Annenkoff, who was a young man, new to the country and over confident in his own judgment

Hitherto, it was added, the Mongol horsemen had contented themselves with hovering, like hawks on tne wing, round their destined prey, keeping at a respectable distance from the rifled muskets of the soldiery but there could be no doubt that they were waiting the opportunity in someunguarded moment, of swooping down upon the camp, while the movements of the fugitives, incumbered as they were by a heavy baggage-train, and accompanied by several ladies aad children, were of necessity slow. That

sill

out

"They're up, I tell you. and force, and there will be blazing roofs, and blood spilled a|l along the Chinesefrontier, from Kari Sou to Dcstvcrnii. Wearesafe enough, of course, here in Ktachta behind our strong stockades and brass cannon. But there is scarcely a post to the eastward that can be called secure, now the Mongolos are over the border." "Surely, however," said I, looking up from the desk and the invoice in which I was duly recording packages of brick tea, coarse silk, the white sonorous brass peculiar to China, and bther imports from the Flowerv Land, "the Mongols will content themselves with sweeping off some flocks and herds, and not venture on attacking the settlements' The Russian military power—" "It's a far cry, as they say in my country, to St. Petersburg, or even to the Wolga," grimly rejoined the firstspeaker, whose name was Gilfillan. "These Tartar thieves know well enough that, short ot Irkutsk", there are but some weak de-1 tachment to bar their way. Even the sptnia of Cossacks has-been withdrawn, ahd, for the moment, the whole of Eastern Siberia lies at the mercy of the Mongols."

Ellen and her father were of |he «ona pany was all but certain. I could no longer endure the safe inaction of life at Kiachta and aCCO'tlingk 1 formed a resolve which to many of my friends seemed rash and willful. This wasto make my way, as best I mighty to the caravan, the tardy pace ot which would readily be overtaken by a well mounted rider, and to persuade Ellen and her father to trust themselves to my guidance back to Kiachta rather than persevere in the ardu u* march that othwise lay,before them. Thanks to mv love of field sports, and to a certain restless spirit of ad'enture, I had an acquaintance with the country for many a league around, having frequently accompanied Tartar hunters on their expeditions in search of the elk, the bustard and the antelope of the plains. I was excellently mounted, and felt that, should I fall in with the enemy, their shaggy ponies could not easily come up with my fine Turcoman steed from the distant desert of Khiva. And of hunger, and thirst more terrible than hunger, those gaunt guardians of the steppe, there was not much risk. I was to traverse a country watered by many streams, affluents 01 the A.mour. and where the provident care of *.he Russians had caused wells to be dug in the dryer portions of the plain. The nomad tribes with whom even the Mongols would not interfere, on the principle of dog not eating do *, were friendly enough to give me food for silver roubles, and the weather was as yet fine and mellow, although the season was winter.

The first long day's march brought me to a cluster of black felt tents, conical in shape, pitched on the banks of a shallow brook, while hard by grazed the 6heep and tne buffaloes that made up the only wealth of the horde. I rode up to them without fear—^for these ramblers of Eastern Siberia have little or no harm in them—and I recognized in the headman of the camp an old acquaintance, who spoke a little Russian, and often brought in lamb-skins, yacurt and wilde strawberries to the market at Kiachta. "I would not push on were I you, Gospodin," said the-bearded patriarch, as he set before me the simple fare—milk, cheese and mutton kabaubs, skewered on a twig of the arButueP^hat he ha.l to o£. fer. "They were here with us yesterday, some hundred of the light-fingered rogues, from across the frontier, and it co6tme ten tat sheep and many fair words to coax them into good behavior. They had two white meiys heads, set on spear points, for their standards, and their leader swore by the Holy Tooth not to go back to Mongolia without silver enough to plate the shrine of his josshouse. They're after the poor folks from Cherinsk by this time not that they've any more fancy for the whistle of a leaden bullet than other people have."

The gift of a golden eagle, and the promise of two more coins from the same mintage, induced the headman to send with me a barefooted lad of his tribe, who would, I was assured, proved quite competent to conduct me to a place whence I could easily overtake the caravan and also to keep* up with my horse at any rate short of a gallop. And young Kazim (how he came by his Moslem name I cannot tell, for all these tribes ot the border are Buddhists like the Mongols beyond it) ran gallently beside my stirrup over weary leagues ot grazing grounds and stretches of stony barren ne8s,till at length he stopped, pointing triumphantly to a number of footprints of horses, oxen, camels ahd fnen, stamped into the half-dried mud of a shallow watfer co'nrse, atid with a wave of his hand toward a stant wreath of blue smoke, sure sign, of a bivouac fire, ue received from me the glittering eagles, wrapped the gold in a scrap of raw sheepskin, and thrust it into the salt-gourd that dangled by a throng from his waist, and then, with a grin of leave-taking, trotted off homeward.

I had not ridden half a mile toward the camp fire before I paw approaching me, at a lumbering amble, ungainly enough, but swift and silent, some two score of laden camels, urged on by four horsemen whose lances a.ul the black Tartor caps tney wore suggested their nationality as Moagolian. Two of them as soon as they espied me, dasho 1 at me with loud execrations and cries of "Ferringhee! Russky! kill! kill!

My revolver was out in a moment, and the sight of it produced sume effect on the wild riders, for they wheeled off to right and left, galloping around me in circles, still brandishing their spears, until third horseman came forward, calling out someting which seemed as if by magto suspend their murderous intentions aud then rode quietly up to my side, and held out his bony hand for me to shake. •'Brother!" he said, in a strange jargon of mingled Turkish and Russian: "very good friend, Batusohka! Has English Lord forgotten poor Sing-Si?"

I looked at the man's broad, flat face, and did indeed recognize a Tartar of the name above mentioned, whom I had, a year before, bought off, at an expenditure of some six shillings sterling, from a Cossack patrol about to hang him on a dwarf oak for being captured, redhanded, as a sbeep-8lealer. He had since then worked for us as a porter, for some months, in Kiachta but the vagrant instinct was too strong in Sing-Si, and he had to throw up his employ*nent, and fled to the steppe.

The other three Tartars became ami cable enough when they found that their companion hailed me as a friend, and I gathered from the rascal's talk that they had been acting as guides to the Cherinsk caravan, and had seized an opportunity of making off with forty camels and their loads, with which, as I made out, they intended to join their cousins, the robber Mongols. All this• tjing-Si. whose moral fiber was of the coarsest, related as an excellent joke but when he learned that I was on my way to join those whom he had just deserted, his countenance assumed a graver expression. "Hark ye, English Lord," he said cautiously, as" the others began to goad on heir camels with blows and lance stic ks, "we of the steppe love a friend as we hate a foe. Sing-Si does not want his former protector to leave his bones to bleach on the plains with those of yon der unblessed ones and he shook his fist at the far-off smoke "and sure as death their shroud is spinning? fast." "What do you mean I asked lymean," hissed out Sing-Si. putting his ugly face close to mine, "that we of the old Tartai stock have no cause to be fond of the Muskov, and a pretty trick we have played them. Hist, did you never hear of the snow-flood?"

I had, in the course of my residence in Siberia, heard vague stones of such a

--J -s- r-

THE TERRE HAUTE WEEKLY UAZKiTR

I -.-vys^-* "17."!"' ^"j •\v

phenomenon of the far northern steppes, •nd I nodded, waiting to hear mo/e. "The Russians will feel it soon,1 Chuckled Sipg-Si "the blind moles! Aire ad the wfnd is rrom the north already the thread* of the Fatal Spinners span the sky, *Rd we have led them where there are no mountains to bieak the fury of the blast no barrier to check the rush of beast Awav, Englishman, whip and •pur, as you love your life, for even here you are not safe, and ride to the left, mark me. westward, to the shelter of the hills. As for me, I go."

And spurring his rough pony on, he clattered in pursuit of his party. I rode at a brisk hand gallop toward the camp fire. The snow flood There crowded on ray mind all the stories I had ever heard of caravans, solitary hunters, or of detachments of troops overtaken by the restless drift of those illimitable plains, where not a tree, not a hillock, existed to stem the violence of the wind. And as I sped on, I felt convinced ihat Sing Si's wa-ning was a true one.

On reaching the encampment I found my predictions of impending evil received very ranch as were those of Cassandra in old Troy. Count Annenkoff, a »ain young officer, with a supreme scorn Jbr civilians and foreigners, ridiculed my advice and declined to regard my informant Sing Si as anything but a scoundrel who had absconded with a portion of the baggage. "Excuse my incredulity, mon cher,' he said cooly, "but your snow flood, a* you hrase it, appears to nearly related to iinbad's Valley of Diamonds, and other contents of the 'Tnousand and One Night,' to command ciedence, and I shall use my own d*creiion as regards the route to be followed."

The other Europeans, it less supercil ious, were almost equally deaf to all the arguments which I could urge. None ot them had witnessed, though all of them had heard of, the fell force of that snowy tempest to which the Asiatics had given so picturesque a name and none were willing to run the gauntlet of the pr6wling Mongols iu order to elude a danger which might prove mythical. But Ellen, who believea in me because she ioved me, used all her influence with her father and with such good effect that r. Mertop yielded a reluctant consent to have his Own and his daughter's horses resaddled, and to set off under my guidance, in the direction indicated by Sing- Si.

As we left the camp, lighted by broad, full moon that bathed the steppe with silvery brightness, I observed that the northern sky was growing very dark, and that the long filaments of gray cloud had become knit together, as though the Valkyrs were indeed busy at the loom of death. The wind, also, blowing in fitful gusts, had become pitrcingly cold, and our very horses snorted and sniffed the air as though they scented the approach of some viewless peril.

By the time we had riedentas I guessed, some vo miles from the halting place, the northern sky had darkened still mere, and the slow sobbing of the desert wind had swelled into a shriek, whilst the temperature was perceptibly lower, so that Ellen shivered more from cold than fear. We pressed on, Mr. Merton, as I have said, had been unwilling to take try counsel, in opposition to the scoffs and remonstrances of his friends, but new he 6aid, in an altered tone: "I begin to think, Richards, that you and the Tartars were right. God bless you for your unselfish kindness, my boy, whatever comes of this."

Before I could reply, a terrified outcry from Ellen's lips made me turn my head jnst as the first quick snowflakes came whirling down, and there, behind us throwing before it, as it cume, a ghastly gleam of light, came from the north a shapeless whiteness, rolling pitiously on. "The snow the snow!" we exclaimed as if with one voice, urging on our affrightened horses to their fullest speed, while behind us, like the tide rising fast over the sands of the sea shore, swept on the white wave, burying beneath it as it advanced, bu*hand incund and water course, and blotting out every feature of the landscape to the northward.

Then began a race indeed the alarmed horses strained tvery sinew to outstrip the pursuing fate but with all our speed the dritt gained upon us, and presently we found ourselves plunging and floundering up to our saddle girths sndw. The moon's radiance was now obscured, and afar off to the westward my eye had caught the ruddy glance ef a fire, such as charcoal-uurners kindle among the hills, and never did a storm-tossed mariner watch the welcome bacon of some harbor more eagerly than 1 did this saving light.

Tne fire, I had conjectured, was burning high upon one of the wooden spurs of the mountain range neir the sources of the Amoar, but to reach it was no trifling task: Our exhausted steeds,worn out by the toiling passage through the snow, could scarcely be urged to fresh exertions, while the rush of the deepen ing flood, and the hlinding showers that dashed into our faces, threattned at each instant to overwhelm us We reached the Amour at last, down the swollen current of whjch were whirling masses of snow, and here Ellen's horse fell, and juld not be raised, while that of Mr. Mertjn, gasping and spent, no longer answered to the 6pur. "Save yourself, Frank! leave us! why should all perish?" groaned the merchant.

There was some strength and spirit yet left the gallant Turcoman that I bestrode, and snatching up Ellen's light form in my arms, I spurted into the river, and struggling through, deposed my precions burden on the turf beyond, under the shelter of a rocky boulder. I then recrossed the ford, and, bidding Mr.

The rest of our story—how, after some fatigue, we scaled the rocky ravine where stood the hut of the charcoal burners and how these rough but kindly beings warmed and fed us, and finally enabled us to reach Kiachta safe—is a tale of mere commonplace hardship. I have been for years the happy husband of Ellen, and junior paitner in the thriving house of Merton Si Paulovitch, although our sphere of business has been removed to a less romantic region than that of Eastern Siberia Of the fate of Count Annekoff and the caravan under his charge, no survivor ever returned to headquarters to tell the tale.

Mr. Bergh has invented a blue glass SpiU dog, with a telephonic bark.

..-Ik

CONDIMENTS.*

If aQ the womerv went to China, where would all the men go to Pekin? Some people are so wrapped up in thei own couceit that, like a clam, all the world seems dark to' them Only when they open their mouth.

A Dutchman, summoned to identify a stolen hog, being asked if the hog had any ear marks, replied "T'e only ear-mark dat I saw vas his tail vas cutoff."

A blue jay was heard singing in a Detroit park the other day, ana a lightning-, rod man came in on the noon train. Plant your cucumbers in hills foflr feet apart. a

A New York doctor says that a per son with sore throat shouldn't kiss one whose throat is all right, as the complaint can be communicated. Girls with sore throats should wear a bili.

The present style of weather calls to mind the remark of a sable brother, that "he had 'mo^' ulleru noticed, if he lived fro' de month of March, he lived fro' de year."

The great English, gun .is pronounced cracked, the reason b-iing thai it was nor thoroughly bored. I fit had been placed in an American newspaper office Jthe result must have been very different,

What is Heaven's best gift to man? asked a young lady on Saturday night, smiling sweetly on a pleas mt looking clerk. "A horse," replied the young man with great prudence. "It's a proof of the singular operation on the human mind," says a mental philospher, "that when two men change hats, the man who gets the worst tile is the first to discover the mistake."

Governor Rice of Massachusetts has nominated his brother-in-law for an important juvicial position with a life tenure and Fred. Douglass has appointed his son Second Assistant Marshal of the District of Columbia: "My son," said a doting mother to her eight year-old, what pleasure do you feel like giving up during Lenten season?" "Well, ma, I guess I'll stay away from school," was the reply.—Eureka (Nev.) Sentinel.

Prof, of Chemistry: "Suppose you were called to a patient who had swallowed a heavy dose of oxalic acid, what would you administer?" K,(who is pre paring for the ministry, and who only takes chemistry because it is obligatory) "I would administer the sacrement."

The rapid and emphatic recital of tiie following is sai 1 to be an infallible cure for lisping: Hobbs meets Snobbs and Nobbs Hobbs bobs to Snobbs and Nobbs Hobbs nobs with Snobbs and robs Nobbs fobs. "That is." says Nobbs, "the worst for Hobbs'job." Snobbs sobs.—[Exchange.

An exchange says: A three-year old little girl was taught to close her evening prayer, during the temporary absence of her father with, "and please watch over my papa." It sounded very. sweet, but the mother's amusement may be imagined when she added: "And you'd better keep an eye on mamma, too!''

A youngster being required to write a composition on jsome portion of the human body: "A throat is convenient to have, especially to roosters and ministers. The former eat6 the corn and crows with it the latter preaches through his'n, |and then ties it up. This is pretty much all I can think of about nceks."

A man noted for his close-fisted propensities was showing an old coin to a neighbor, when the latter asked, ''Where did ycu get it "I dug it out of my

fidn't

arden," was the reply. "It is a pity you find it in the cemetery," said the neighbor. "Why soasked the coin owner. "Because you could have saved the hole to be buried in," was the some what unexpected reply.

Gov. Cross illustrates the marvelous growth of Chicago by saying that in

he saw a wolf pass his door op Michigan avenue, now the principal residence of the city. His friends amuse themselves by telling him that he has had better luck than the general run ot Western editors—the wo!f generally squatted in front ot their doors and howled.

THE DOCTOR'S LITTLE STORY

Written for the Syracuse Standard. Doctor who is practicing his profession (which is more than many of us do) near New York, was a student in Albany a few yea»s ago under Dr. March and other lights of the medical faculty. He had nearly completed his siudies, and to his natural fearlessness hid added that sort of coolness, almost irreverence, which is so apt to accompany familiarity with the gruesome sights and experiences of a doctor's life. He was, moreover an excellent shot with the pistol, and had got into the habit of carrying one in his frequent and lonely walks late at night from the dissecting room of the medical school to his boarding place.

One night he had remained until midnight to complete the examination ot an "extremity" upon which he was engaged.

The room where he was at work was dimly lighted, and contained a number of tables each bearing a "subject" upon which the "demonstrator" and students had been at work during the day. At length, becoming weary, he raised his eyes from his work, ana as they glanced down the long room, he distinctly saw the "subject" upon the farthest table in the room rise slowly to a sitting position, and after staring fixedly before him for a moment slowlv sank back upon the table.

Merton to cling tightly to my horsed 1D called out "Hallo, old fellow, can «V. 3 .i- ..u. r^o,,

mane, for the third time breasted the cur. ent, and half swimming, half wading. When we got through on the fai-ther bank my noble horse reeled and fell, with a faint, low neigh, and so died. The carcasses of the others were already buried beneath the driving snow.

rest on that table?"

Not receiving

any reply he proceeded with_ his work after time he again raised his eyes, and again saw the rigid form erect itself in a stiff and "creaky" manner from the table and fall back again.

He called out* "Don't you do that again or I will put a bulletin you." For along time the silence was unbroken, when once morp the body rose, and seemed trying to get off the table: quick as thought fired at it. The subject fell back with a heavy "thud," and a frightened voice called out' "Don't shoot again, don't shoot again."

An investigation revealed the fact that one of his fetlow-stadents knowing of his intention to remain there that evening had concealed himself under the table, and with an iron poker had thus simulated the movements of life, but the report of

the

pistol, and the whistle ot the ball which passed uncomfortably near him, awakened a fear lest he might himself become a "subject before the natural

ime.

sitr %'i

FACTS AND FANCIES. A bankrupt butcher is short Meater. The woman who puts a babv to si a kid napper.

Stokes concluded not a lefrture, thou his style is killing.

Vermont has already made enough pie sugar toaweeten summers breath. Stoga boot* tipped with blue gl might have a healthy effect on- the ai ment of tramps.

Mr. Key is said to have thirteen chil ren. It is not stated how many wards has.

There is a temperance revival in Titu ville, the like of waich has not benzine fi some t.me.

The buckwoeat wesson is over, ai scorbutic people are taking th„-ir spri sOlaurand in jlaies.

Beecber lodges that a pew in a churc It is said of a bankrupt Michigan firn Theedule of liabilities is fifteen feet Ion assets very *nall

This is the season of the year for ve deaf old gentlinen to take long and rcfres ng walks on the railroad tracks.

To be sure such weather usthis is pre t^ bad but only think the people do bouih ate forced to endure picnics.

Wills of great men all re ind us can't make aur wills endure but depar ing Ie tve bohind us, pickinps for the la' yer peor.

The oler of the African has never be nceounted for, although so many exped tions have started for the scente'rof Afr

Lydia Thomson wants a financial gua antee befoJe returning to his countr wh:ch is a very strong chronologic" symptom. Mr. Evarts remarked that he had hear and known a good many Ohio people had never seen their reserve. Gener Sherman smiled.

"Eggs are only fiftee cents a dozen Wareham." Where ham and eggs com together so cHedply ought to be a pla easy to eggsist in.

Said a man in a car seriously to anot' er man, yesterday-"Kalamazoo Is King-dom in South America. That where they get calamus.

A gentleman with an inordinary nec says his only consolation for the deform ity is the Sength of time it takes soothin beverages to run the gauntlet ot the es ophagus.

The Rondout Freemen thinks it out place for a church mher to flirt with la dies while conducting them to bitting We think so lo. Such conduct is decide ly pew-or-aisle.

In town records of reading is the fol lowing: "Voted, that the towu present Jsmes Sky six acaef of ladd in some pa of the town where it will least damni the neighbors." "Bob' Ingersoll dined with the Haye6 on Sunday." He was particularly ferve in saving grace before meat, ana earnes ly Inquired how the children liked the nem Sunay-school.

An Italian traveler in this country a sets that "every American, from rresi dent tochitrney sweap, reads some favor ite journal, swearing by it." -The ind pendent reader is more apt, occasional! to swear at it.

MRS. HAYE'S SELECTION". We deem it adutv to express our satisfaction that the president of the United States will not stadly worship in th Metropolitan Methodist Church. W should have been even better pleased it had suited the convenience of Mrs Hayec,

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he pious member of the famil

to attend a church of some other denom ination. We do not enjoy the gabble—w can hardly call it scandal—with whic our church ha* been discredited in th' daily press, and we hope that silly tongu is to be cut out by the roots through th new associations. We shall not inves largely in "Christian statesmen" until th breed improves, and we retain our puritanical disgust at church intrigue—or the appearance of it. Let the Metropo litian Church keep Dr. Newman and le him rely on his rare powers as an orato his mastery of the preaching, and his religion to give the church a start and sue a hold that it will need no President to with. Not "against" anybody, brethren but, for you all, we write, we publicly thank Gen. Grant for habitually washin his face and going to church on Sunda morning during his eight years of th Presidency, and we devoutly hope hi successor may do as well.

A DOUBTFUL PERSONAL COMPLIMENT. Washington Star, March a6.—It is se easy to be liberal with other peoples money. The managers of the Women's Department of the Centennial' Exhibition would up the affairs of theirs organ ization 'on Thursday last, and presented as a complimentary gift the balance of funds remaining on hand amounting to $7,800, to Mrs. Gillespie, the retiring President of the concern. This measure is highly complimentary, and no doubt in the greatest degree satisfactory to Mrs Gillespie, since she warmly thanked the donors, and promptly pocketed the fook containing the money. Whether it is of the country wha contributed soylargely to the success of the organization then donations of money and laborsc mains to be seen,

ELECTION OF HAYES JUDICIALLY ACKNOWLEDGMI). The city of Springfield has lately been convulsed with the throes of a suit in which the Presidency was involved. The case was one in which Dr. N. Wright sued Jacob Leonard to recover certain money entrusted by the former to the latter as stakeholder to a bet on the presi dential election. After the inauguration of Haves, Leonard paid the money over to the" Republican claimant on the bet, and Wright brought suit for its recovery on the ground thatTilden, and not Hayes was elected. The case was submited to a jury of six "h3nest"men, including several Democrats, who after a patient hearing of the testimony and weighing the same, brought in a verdict for the defendant, thus affirming Haye's ejection. This judicial determination of the matter right nnder the shadow of Bill Sprnirger*6 nose ought to satisfy even that bellicose individual that Hayes is elected, and he and all like him ought to accept the situation and not try to go behind the returns.