Terre Haute Weekly Gazette, Volume 8, Number 35, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 22 March 1877 — Page 4
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WH. C. BALL & CO., Prop's. W*. i. BALL 8KWC** F. BALL.
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ter of the six daily issues. The W mtT OAXBTTK IS the largest paper printed in Terrc Haute, and is sold for. One copy per rear, ft, six months, $1, three months, ioc. All subscriptions must be paid for in advance. No paper discontinued until all the arrearages arc paid, unless at the option of the proprietor A failure to notify a distsontinnance at the end of the year will be considered a new engagement. Address all letters.
WM. C.BALL 4 CO., (.AZETTE/ Terre Haute. Ind^
THURSDAY, MARGH 22, 1877.
HENRI WATTERSON is a nephew of M«. Stanley Matthews, and is, according to the New York Commercial, very fond of his ante.
AND now peace and quiet reigns in ttie land. After a short and unimportant session on Saturday, the senate adjourned. Seine die.
AN autobiography of Matilda Heron is promised soon. Her daughter Bijou will add a chapter containing an account of the closing years of her mothers lite.
BOB IKGERSOLL preaching the gospel of pacification and love is an interesting spectacle. Bob was the biggest boy that waved the ensanguined shirt in the la6t campaign.
THE dispatches indicate that in Michigan and Canada, on Saturday, the thermometer stood below zero. Thus does winter linger in the lap of spring with a vengeancr.
PACKARD and Chamberlain are not •Christians, and they abominate the Bitle, Bnt of all the things they hate they most detest the gospel according to St. Matthews.
Vics-President Wheeler is to have a yoice and a place in the cabinet of Hayes, But he does not propose to be bored by '.he office seekers. He has given it out that he will, under no circumstances sign letters of recommendation.
IT has now transpired a6 the GAZETTE expected that Morton had nothing to do with the appointment of Secretary Thompson, if indeed it was not done against his protest. Old "Moxy" will make a muss yet for this aflront.
Bio LEWIS has broken loose with a lecture on temperance. Dio calls it the wildest sort of dissipation for a human being to spend more than seven cents a day on his food, and to eat anything but cracked wheat, is to gormandize.
AT a recent sale of land at Alabama two thousand'acres brought one cent an •ere. At that rate, if a fellow could leave off his bad practices for a few weeks, he might own the state of Alabama, and be prepared to go to the poor asylum.
AN editorial poet, hearing of Don ^Cameron succeeding his father in the Senate, like Silas Wegg, dropped into poetry. And here is his effort: "For office-holding once begun,
Bequeathed by bleeding Sire to son, Thongh baffled oft, is ever won.
A ''WOMAN" correspondent of the Express, wants to know why the GAZETTE did not keep its promise to publish the names of the roue's who infest society. One reason was that, as a prominent citizen said, "It would -not do. It would make to many divorces. Some families ough too be left topropogate the species
NEW YORK papers-report that there is A prospect of a reduction of ten per cent, in rents when the First of May-Amoving {Jay—comes round. Rents for the last year have been much lower—fully twen-ty-five per cent—than before the panic but they must g® down still further. The landlord who holds back in this matter will listen, during the year, to the elo quence of an unrented building.
THE Cincinnati Commercial hits the nail square on the head in the following editorial item:
President Hayes has informed an applicant for office that his application could not be considered. There was an objection that could not be overcome: "Your wife is a favorite cousin of Mrs. Hayes." This is as bad as anything Charles Sum ner or Carl Schurz ever said about Grant. It casts a lnrid reflection upon our history.
FRED DOUGLASS is now Marshall of the District of Columbia. His nomination was confirmed DV a majority of five or six on a vea or nay vote. The exact vote is not kno wn, as it was done in executive session, which is secret. An hour and a half was devoted to debate, and his qualifications for the office was the only question disscussed. One part of his duty will consist of bemg present at the receptions of the President. He will stand at the right hand of the President, and introduce to him all visitors.
THE following editorial paragraph we take from the Sloomfield News. It relates to the railroad from Bloomfield to Bedford. Our Cincinnati «*ilroad is not very far from Bloomfield, and should be pushed forward to that point, taking io Worthington on the line. As the article states, it would open up a large section of country tributary to Terre Haute and the trade of which would carry here if we would properly encourage it. Let the -oad be pushed forward to the meeting point The article is as follows.
IT begins to look like business down in Louisiana. Packard, it is said, is organ izing his black brigade with a view of asserting his supremacy by force of arms. Now this is business. Let the work go bravely on. And above all, let the United States soldiers be kept out of the state. Lasting peace will never come to Louisiana until thse two factions have had a fight. If the whites of Louisiana fighting for their property, cannot whip the pillagers of Packard's, then let them submit to him as their Governor.
THE Bloomfield and Bedford NarrowGuage Railroad it now completed, and makes regular trips from Bedford to Switz City. Thus far the road proves to be eminently successful, and promises to be of inestimable value to all interests The people of this county, before the construction ot the I. & V. R.R. were closely connected in their business with Terre Haute. They have a strong and partial attachmant lor Terre Haute, and are very desirous of renewing and continuing their old relationship with that growing city. They like to deal with the business men of that place, and we hope that early steps will be taken to the end that they may be gratified. Such a result will be agreeable and advantageous all around.
ACCORDING to the veracious chronicler of the Cincinnati Enquirer, Hayes went on Sunday' to what is known as the "Foundry church." It is an unpretending Methodist meeting house, with none of the ostentatious pretence of pietyf which has given Parson Newman's church so malodorous a reputation. The text of' Scripture to which Rutherford with the rest, was invited to direct his attention, was taken from the fifteenth chapter of Corinthians, nfteenth verse, and is as follows: "Now I say, brethren, that flesh and blood can not inherit the kingdom ofGod, neither doth corruption inherit incorruption." A flavor of personality pervaded the sermon, but Rutherford was unmindful.
LINGLE, editor an proprietor of the Lafayette Courier, is a candidate for the Postmastership of the village where he lives Evidence of his fitness for the place, we have already given in the statement that he is a newspaper man. He wilL probably succeed in securing the place. He ought to succeed, of course Some of the other papers of the place are fighting him, which shows how short sighted and foolish the editors of Lafay elte are. They play the dog in the man ger, better—that is to say worse—than the dog ever did. When they have grown—those other editors, we are speaking about now—to the stature of men, they will learn that it pays to stand up for the guild, sustaining one another wherever it i6 possible. To the fact that newspaper proprietors have cut one another's throats, is to. be attributed a large measure of their trouble. Little children love one another.
OLEOMARGARINE is the new substitute for butter. The manufacture of it has become one of the great and growing industries in this and other countries One establishment in New York makes one hundred and eighty thousand pounds per week, which with the other establish ments in the same city, swells the grand total to over three thousand firkins per week. A factory in Philadelphia, turns ont one hundred thousand pounds per week. And there are other places in which it is made. From ill account®, the article seems to be manufactured in a cleanly and thorough manner. It can scarcely be distinguished from butter of the best quality. It i6 made from beef tallow and other animal fats. That it willl interfere largely with the butter trade proper, seerns inevitable Already it is used largely at the hotels and resturants in the cities and by the classes who find good butter an expensive luxury. According to the descriptions given of the process of manufacture, and the methods by which all deliterous malter is eliminated, it is hardly cenceivable how there can be any prejudice against its general use. A part of the slaughtered animal not heretofore considered of the highest value is by this process rendered, valuable. By its discovery the uses to whi-h beef cattle are rendered amenable is increased, and the country thus benefited.
CLEANING UP THE NAVY DEPARTMENT. Commendations of our distinguished townsman, the new Secretary of the Navy, always make grateful reading for loyal Terre Hauteans. We copy in this place an editorial article from the Chicago Tribune, highly laudatory of his first official acts. This part of the artice is, of course, pleasing to the GAZETTE, but another portion relating to Grant and Robeson,"is scarcely less agreeable. The Tribune is good Republican authority.
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Now that the new Admiral has piped all hands on deck to clean up the old ship, we he will make thorough work of it, and go to the very keel in search of rottenness. During the past few years more suspicion has rested upon the Navy Departmant than any other. More fault has been found with it. More scandals have attached to it, and more investigations have been made of it than any other. For years the air was alive with rumors ot peculations, frauds, corruptions and maladministration, which were asserted jurt as stoutly as they were denied and yet the ex-president hung to Robeson with astounding tenacity .closing his eyes, and shutting his ears to the charges which were flying thickly about him. Investigating committees dug up not only suspicions and rumors,but facts ugly enough to have overwhelmed any other man, and still the ex-President, with that fatal felicity for sticking to bad company which he so often manifested, still clung to Robeson, and he escaped without impeachment. Whether the criminal charges were true or not, whether there were actual frauds and peculation, it was at least proven that the management of the Navy Depart ment was notoriously lax and incompetent, that money was squandered and flung away in the most riotous and reck less manner, and that the navy year by year was deteriorating. What bette proof, in fact is needed than the present condition of the navy All that there is to show for Robeson's extravagant expenditures is a rotten, rusty, used-up collection of wooden ships that are unseaworthy and of iron ships that won't float outside their docks.
Never was there a better opportunity to purge and clean out the Naval Dfpartment, and to place it upon as sound a basis as the means at disposal will allow. The "n Secretary is under no obligations to the Cattels, Secors, or any other contractors, jobbers, or lobbyists. The new measures of Civil-Service Reform fnake him independent, ot politicians. 'There are no political employes that need to be retained in the navv-yards There need be no political sinecures for past services. lie takes command of the ship unpledged to any one but the people, and committed to no policy but that of reform. His remarks to his Bureau officials upon the manner in which he proposes to conduct the Department are refreshing in view of the past administration. He 6ays to his employes: Now I want it understood that I am Secretary of the Navy. Heretofore you men have had too much to do with giving out con tracts. I propose after this to look after this business myself. I want you on all occasions, when any question arises about contracts, to come and talk to me. Let us have chats about material and its cost, and see whether we can afford to buy it or not, because I want it distinctly understood that this Dapartment is not going to have a deficiency bill this year." By turning over such a leaf as this, he will put the navy on a basis that wil leave no room for suspicion, and the people will have confidence in the honesty of the management."
GEN. DEVENS' LEGS. .. The legs that have been lost by Gen. Devens, the new Attorney-General, in the recent newspapers, would suffice to stock a large family ofdisabled and limbless centipedes. Almost every biograhical sketch has dismembered him here or there, and those who have not seen his actual person may have been led to believe that President Payes, in his Cabinetmaking, has been obliged to use a worthless old trunk in the Department of Justice.
Let us reassure our readers. The new Attorney-General, who was. in war times a General, in fact and not by attorney, has two sound, serviceable, and handsome legs, and the usual number of arms that belong to the well formed human being even in time of peace. He was, however shot occasionally during the late unpleasantness.
woman in Oshkosh ground nearly half shirt through a clothes-wringer last Monday before discovering that her baby was in the shirt. It was ari awful strain on the wringer.
A
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THE TERRB HAUTE WEEKLY GAZETTEL
It represents the decent and reputable element of the Republican party, and its utteram es are in no sense like the rabid and characterless ravings of the InterOcean and our own blpody. Indianapolis Journal. Now, what this article says in effect, is what the GAZETTE has been proclaiming, in and out of season, tor the past four years, viz: that Grant and Rob eson were a pair of rascals, whose aim was greed of gain. But here is the article: "Reform has commenced in a good place in a good wav. The judiciousness and wisdom displayed bj the President in selecting his Cabinet already begins to be vindicated. Mr. Schurz has thrown a bombshell into the Interior Department with his pithy but trenchant decla ration, "No removals except for cause, no promotions except for merit." Mr. Thompson has discharged a whole broad side into his Department hy turning out one of Robeson's worst dependents upon authoritative information that he had used Government supplies in furnishing Robeson's house by notifying all the Bu reau officers that no contracts hereafter must be signed without his approval and by sending notice to Bureau officials that they must meet him two or three times a week and present matters pertaining to the service to him for his decision. All of this goes to show that the Navy Department hereafter will have a head instead of a figure-head.
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"It's perfectly idle to talk in that tray, sir\" said Uncle Ben.- "The man never lived that could get along comfortable with a fiery, fretful, ill-tempered wdman." "And what of an ugly, ill-tempered man?" said Bob. "A
man you can flog, sir*" said nele Ben "but a woman, sir—a woman may tongue you to her heart's content, and what can you do?" "•Jrii-.oline's her coat of n.ail, I suppose? said Bob." "Not at all, boy," said Uncle Ben. "Sex is her coat of mail, her grand protection, and she knows it. Behind this shield, when the fit is on her, as she takes the notion, she tongues or. cowhides her victim with impunity. You see, Bob, a man must get lost to all self-respect before he can lift a hand to a woman. He must forget his mother was a woman, and when he has done that, but little will he care for crinoline—precious little, sir, I tell you. A man that is a man, may delend himself against a man. But gracious heaven Bob, what defence has he agaias an angry woman? Who wouli think of contending with a fair lecturer on female suffrage, for instance? Certainly no man in sober senses? And there's Jane Swissheltnand Miss Stanton, and others that might be mentioned. He,d be a hardened, imperturbable fellow, Bob, that wouldn't wilt beneath the ire of these strong-mind-ed women." "But why provoke to ire, Uncle Ben "Provoke to ire! Boy, I tell «ou, when a man gets tied to a woman ot this class, from'that moment he must have no will of his own and what's a poor fellow to do, who has been accustomed to express an opinion, and to have his own way in the world—at least, sometimes— what's he to do "Do Why, take his own way still." "How?" said Uncle Ben ''Let him run away," said Bob, "if he can not stand fire. The only thing left for him to do, as I see." "And perhaps the best," said Uncle Ben. "But, like the man who .catched a Tartar,' if he can't get away, what then? If she won't let him get away, what then, my fine fellow?" "It's fix," said Bob, "and in that case, I suppose he must grin and bear it "Grin or no grin," said Uncle Ben, has got to bear it." "I'd let the cantankerous vixen rip,' said Bob, "and treat her in silent con tempt." "Silent fiddle-strings!" said Uncle Ben, "how green you are. Silence, sir, only provokes the ire of a brawling woman. Ne, no, young man, silence won't do. Y.ou might appease her soniewhatjby getting as angry and boisterous as herself, but in no other way need you try to depreciate the tempest of a woman's wrath Poor Herrick—you remember Herrick
he
Bob?—many's the tale he told you of the 'Faderland,' when you were a boy. Herrick used to take his frow on this tacic of'tit for tat.' He used to say:
Vhen mine vrow pegins to vire up, juss then I pites my lip, and looks taggers. And vehn she vagshur dongue, like dun der clap, den I Juss vags mine dongue, doo, like todder dunder clap, piger an' piger! Py and py, hur dunder ties avay, vith "Yah! yahi'Herrick, Herrick!" Den cums de dunder shower, and after that de pright tay, and tings as goot as tudder new vedding!"
Jolly times they must have had of it," said Bob. •'Jolly tornadoes!" said uncle Ben. Fire and fury night after night, day after day—jolly times with a vengence, that Bob. But she conquered him at last poor fellow." "Broke his heart, perhaps hi* head, or both," said Bob, "at one fell swoop the 'tarnal vixon." "Not just that," said Uncle Ben, "she worried and chaffed and wearied him from day to day, till sick of contention, in a fit of frenzied madness, he slipped the 'matrimonial noose,' stilled 'life's fitful fever,' and 'slept the sleep that knows no waking.' Herrick like many of his countrymen, was a dreamer. His ideal future he pictured to suit hi fancy, and tired of eternal strife and di»oord in this world, thought, perhaps, he might do better in the next. Alas, poor Herrick!" "Alas, poor Herrick!" said Bob "that was indeed a sorrowful ending." "My dear boy," said Uncle Ben., "there's no surety agin' such endings, but in 'single blessedness."' "Uncle Ben!" "Fact Bob. Bachelor,s hall is the only ark of safety—no danger there." "Uncle Ben, you don't mean it? You don't mean to say that every man that perpetrates matrimony is in danger of perpetrating suicide?" "Not exactly that, Bob. But I do mean to say that bachelors run no risk of being driven to extremities by the clamorous tongue ot heartless, ill-tempered women. Bachelor's hall, sir is an ark of safety. No matrimonial thunder-claps there— no discord, clapper-clawings strifes—go out ani come in—rise up and lie downlaugh, sing, dance, or play, as the spirit moves you .no one to fiind fault. Ihat Bob, is 'single blessedness,' Ain't it beautiful?" "Very," said Bob dryly "but one has it all to one's self. I am afraid, Uncle Ben, I should never be able to enjoy such solitary sort of bliss." "SDiitary," sir? Do you call my house or my life solitary? Don't you see I can have as many friends as I've a mind tor" "Yes, yes, Uncle Ben, the rich have many friends but let riches take unto themselves wings, and flee away as an eagle towards heaven, the friends, too, I'm afraid, would quickly take wings and flvaway also—not perhaps heavenward —the friends of Mammon are not so fond of soaring in that direction." "Bob, you're pathetic, you speak like an oracle. Sorry, sir, I can't persuade you to live a life of 'single blessedness.'' "Uncle Ben, you're not like the Apostle Paul." "Like the Apostle Paul, eh Was not Paul a bachelor, sir and did he not, sir, commend 'single bliss,' eh Better pick your flint and try again, master Bob.' "Paul says: 'They who marry do well,' said Bob. "He says all ot that, sir and what then •'I.think." said Bob, "he's high authority in favor of matrimony." "I think Bob, you ought to take the pulpit" '•Why so, Unp le Ben? You flatter me." "You quote Scripture so like the clergy. They break short off, as it suits a purpose, and so do you. If Paul says: They who marry do well,' he pdds, 'but,
they who do not marry do better.' That was Paul's opinion, Bob, and when you make the most of it, don't help you much doe* it "Well, Uncle Ben, the Creator 6aid in the begining, speaking of our first parent, father-Adam. 'It is not good thai man should be alone.' "Well, sir, was that all? Was nothing more said? Give us the balance of the sentence." "I will make him an help meet for him." "That-will do Bob you improve. Had a vixen Xantippe, a Mrs Rip Van Winkle, or a fractious, scolding termagent. like poor Herrick's frow, been given to tather Adam, what the consequences might have been, I will not conjecture He might not have [done as did Herrick, having no idea of a world "beyond the bounds of time and space,' of which a modern poet 6ings. But I think we may safely presume, Bob, that our veneral parent, uhder such circumstances, might have sometimes looked back, with feelings ot regret, to his days of "single blessedness." "Uncle Ben, I have thought of doing well, some day or other—according to Paul—but you almost persuade me to resolve on doing better!"
We'l, my boy, 'tis always wise to 'look before you leap.' It stands one instead to be careful in these days of crinoli..e bijouterie, when girls, in general, are bet ter acquainted with crochet than with kitchen work, and know more about picnics than about making pan-cakes and plum pudding*. It was not so, Bob. in the days of your grandmother. My time is up, now, mv boy, but our next inter view I will give you some very particular reasons why a young man ought to bo careful in his relations to matrimonial matters."
THE EARLY LIFE OF PETR OLEUM V. NASBY.
In the Troy Times we find the following sketch of the early life ofD. R. Locke Nasby, which is of local interest: "Some thirty years ago or more a father and son entered a country printing offics in Cortland county, and the latter expressed an anxiety to leai the printer's trade. The office was in charge of James A. Sinclair, a thorough master of the various branches of the typographical art, and at present a popular local journalist in Norwich. The applicant was none other than Davidf R. Locke, now known to fame by the mirth-provoking appellation of "Petroleum V. Nasby." He was a small, spare boy—contrasting 6trar.gely with iiis prosent corpulence—and Sinclair harbored misgivings of David's ability to perform the toilsome and thankless function devolving upon a "printer's devil but the persistency of the boy resulted in his gaining the coveted trial Although it was necessary for little "Dave" to 6tand upon a box in order to reach the alphabetical apartments of his case, he made rapid progress and displayed singular agility in the manipulation cf the infinitesimal types and his proof sheets were commendably clean— a quality unfortunately not always characteristic of fast compositors "Dave" was soon a great favorite in the village, and his advancement was unintermitted until he became the renowned postmaster of the classical Cross Roads. He can well be classed among the self-made men of the times.
There has been for omeyears in LamI beth work house, London, an attorney who is described as "healthy, well educa ted, and possessing considerable ability."
They have now given him wood chopping to do and he pines for oakum picking instead, as it "gives him more time to literary pursuits."
During the hard times several Boston git Is Have decided to accept honest house work. Said one of them to a Newark lady the other evening, "Madame, I shall be obliged to you if vou will be so good as to bring down the atlas, so that I may trace the war in the East and, if you please, where is the telephone?"—New York Herald.
An advertisement in aNew York newspaper invites "any one desiring to seltsuocrfluous wedding presents to address Cash Customer at a given place."
Dean Stanley sent as h:R New Year's advise to a Bible class at Aberdeen, these words of counsel: jf§f "Beware of party spirit" and
Still carry in thy right hand gentle peace To silence envious tongues—be just knd fear not
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EUROPE.
A STRIKE. ...
Berlin, March 21.—Laborers here yesterday attacked a number from Posen, working on the tramway in this city, because the latter accepted lower wages. The police supported the Poseners but were repulse d. A company of infantry was ordered out atid with some mounted police cleared the streets. Several were wounded.,
TURKISH NEWS.- '1'
London, March 21.—A Vienna dis" patch reports that Montenegrin troops are concentrating on the frontier. Prince Nicholas will start on the 26th for the camp at Medun. The Herzegovinian corps is concentrated at Bagani.^ Gen. Despobuetch is marching in Banjaluka. A circular from Moscow urges all Slavonian committees to raise fresh fund* in aid "of the Montenegrin war.
CONGRATULATING THE KAISER. Paris, March 21.—President MacMahon sends Marquis D. Abzal his first Aid-de-camp to Berlin to congratulate the Emperor on his 8olh birthday.
Jean Paul .aid .hat the onl, woman he ever met who had true humor.
a romantic picture from "The Lady of the Lake," representing the interview between Fitzjames and Roderick Dhu, in
the
midle distance,, with nhe figures of the followers of Roderick in ambush behind racks in the foreground. It is a very spirited composition.
Ax advertisement appears in this issue of the GAZETTE for some lots in Maxville, that are offered fur sale cheap. Also four acres of land iust South of the town. They are a bargan.
AT SEA.
PHILADELPHIA BULLETIN. "Why don't you talk, dear? I never knew that you"were so fond of the sea before. (H ere Henry sighed violently.) But if you are, I don't see why we can't take this trip often after We are married. It's very healthful (Henry breathed another sigh),and it's very cheap* Don't you think we might dear?"
Henry did not reply, bat again his emotions overmastered him. Why don.t you answer me? O. don't shake your head. Can't you turn around and look at me? I think you are very unkind. If you don't answer me I declare that I'll never speak to yon again! Then Henry, after another sijh looked at her with a face as white as a sheet Of paper, and in a weak voice said:
Great Julias Caesar, woman, don't you see that Im trying to throw up my very toe-nails?"
THE INTRUDING CAMEL. NEW. YORK WORLD. As several Arabs weer
Hitting
in their
Tent on a rude Autumnal Day, a Camel who had left his Umbrella at home, humbly craved permission to shelter his Nose in the Interior. The Children of the Desert, moved with Compasion, would have admited the thin Er.d of the Camel, had not one of their number (whose Motto was ever Up und Bedouin") with the cry, "I know wbat a Mother-in-Law is Myself!" remonstrated with the Dromedary through the Medium of a Tent-peg, and compelled it to see* Shelter elsewhere.
Moral—Give some People an Inch and they will take an Ell of a Lot upon themselves.
BROWNS MATRIMONIAL METHODS. Dubuque Telegraph. '(Brown, I don't Jcnow how it is that your girls all marry off as soon as they get old enough, while none of mine can marry" "Oh, that's simple enough. I marry my girls of on the buckwheat straw principle.' "But what is that principle? I nev^r heard of it before." "Well, I used to raise a good deal of buckwheat, and it puzzled me to know how to get rid of the straw. Nothing would eat it, and it was a great bother to me. at last I thought of a plan. I stacked my buckwheat straw nicely and built a high rail-fence around it. Mv cattle, of course, concluded that it was something good, and at once tore down the fence and began to eat the straw. I dogged them away and put up the fence a few times, but the more I drove them away the more anxious they became to cat the straw, and eat it they did, every bit of iU As I said, I marry my girls off in the on the same principle. When a man that I don't like begins calling on my girls I encourage him in every way I can., I tell him to come as often and stay as late as he pleases, and I take pains to hint to the girls thil I think they'd better set their caps for him, It works first-ate. He don't makemanv calls, for the girls treat him as cool as they can. But when a young fellow that I like comes around, a man that I think would suit me for a son-in-law, I give him to understand that he isn't wanted around house. I tell the girls, too, that they shall not have anything to do with him. and give them orders never to speak to him again. The plan always works first rate. The young folks begin, to pitch into each other, and the next thing I know they are engaged to be married. When I see that they are determined to marry, I always give in and pretend to make the best of it. That's the way I manage it."
LAYING FOR HIM.
It having come to the ears of the United States officials at this point that Big English the bootblack, had a hand ful of lead nickels iu his possession, the bov was yesterday interyiewed on the subject. "Yes/ I've got nineteen bad nickels in my trousers pocket," wss his prompt reply. "Aud what are you doing with them" "Holding right to,em* You nsedn'think You've got a case again me, for you haven't." "How did you get those bad pieces!" "Rich man, who shall be nameless— black his boots- every morning—hands me out a lead nickel—thinks he'stgot a soft thing on me, but I'm layn' for him „How?" "Why. he's got a daught' about my age. I'll be thinking of marryng in two or three years more, and I'll shoulder a bag of his nickels, walk into the parlor, and gentlv say: .Mister man, I love thy fair daughter, and I demand her hand in marriage. Behold the proofs of yonr vile perfidy, and come up to the rack or go to the jug!' You just keep still and let him shower out his bogus coins* I ain,t han6ome, but I'm a terror to plan!"
On Sunday, at a meeting held of Mi
equal
Jean evidently never made the acquainta—j Cax it be that
in the
Kansas Csiy Academy of Music, $4,000 was subscribed toward a building for the use of the Young Mens Christain.Association of the place named.
Shiver mv timberes," shouts Thompson as he looks "over the records of the Department of which he has just taken th? helm, "but this Robeson was a reckless and a reckful sailor."
When somebody asked Offenbach if Bonn was not his birth-place, he replied calmly: "You are confounding two differerent men. It was Beethoven who was borne at Bonn. I was borne at Cologne."
Secretary Chandler says his joy on being released from official will more than
that of a school-boy just let loose from school. But his joy is nothing compared to that which the people feel.
MR. HELMBOLD, the Buchu,man isn't as crazv as he was, but is now
the
moon ana ge .....
ance of the New Jersey woman who stood Parsons Newman hot-Scotch penetrated a full coal scuttle half way up the hall 10 Columbus and qoisoned the mind of staire, and patiently waited in the dark! Rutherfonj against that eminent di me. for her husband's return from the lodge, g^, Louis girl, who claims to have nroved it bv ex periment, says ttot by
R. J. Bush, the artist, has on his easel a £utt
the
ne a
i0veJ in the light of a blue-glass
putting a I. window he can be made to propose at one sitting. What a worl this is! The shadow of civil war has hardly departed, and before
the
upright citizen can recover his breath it will be time to begin spading onion beds. A story in one of the late English magazine is called Owen, the Milkman."
Rather
common-place title. There are
so man persons Owin, the Milkman,you know.