Terre Haute Weekly Gazette, Volume 7, Number 45, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 1 June 1876 — Page 2

Musette.

AFTER STEWART'S MONEY.

How Many Only Cousins a Dead Millionare May

Have.

Advice From the Spirit Land for

Mrs. A. T. Stewart,

Who will Contest her Husband Will—12,000 Begging Letters Received.

From the Now York Sun.

professing to

were preparing

The rumor that a tnumber of persons the Republican president receiv

tinucd the letter, "not to go, for you

would never return alive." In another

place the "spirit" of the de»d merchant

assured his wife that he was not as rich

in the spiritual world as he had been in

sand

tinued

tionship

Krief

6id and

writer

concealed, tod

for

material things on earth. "Whar's de proofs of the bite?'inquirAnother medium in Baltimore sent

with the care-of the "poor girls" "Then I'll Sue you!" who need help on earth. "Very well. I'll adjourn de suit till the One caviller in his letter advised Mrs. hite gets well, and den whar will ver Stewart that no one man could advise proofs be?" her properly in regard to her business, The man reflected a moment and said: and requested her to consult his friends, "I see. We must come down to phvs 'the Rev. Stephen H. Tyng and Prof.

worked up the Hilton family history, and found himself and the Judge to be related. "This is the sort of stuff they send said the Judge, "by the basketful, thev are the fellp^s who talk of contesting" the will, I presume. Mrs. Stewart has received about 4.000 begging letters

since

Mr. Stewart's death, and I double that number."

THE IflARfNE BAND.

The Speech of Hon. Carter A. Harrison, of Illinois, That Saved it to the Nation.

read extracts from them, laugh- Mr. Harrison—\es, sir but we v.-u ine-at their contents. Thev were a mot- enjoy the music. Last Saturday lie weni ley lot, written by widows, old maids, to the White-house grounds, to stan poor girls, and men of all conditions in among the canaille, and sitting on the life, tfome of them were from persons White-house porch he saw the President, of high respectability from ministers and with his feet upon the balustrade, and a business men, certifying to the honesty

Some of the letters addressed to Mrs. Stewart contained expressions of condolence and grief for the death ot her husband and the "dear relative" of the writers. One from a female cousin in Ireland began "I have learned with great grief of the death of my dear cousin,'' and ended with expressions of sympathy with the widow. The writer evidently was cunningly withholding her request for money until after she had opened the way to the widow's heart. "Tbev usually write three times, these fellows'do," said the Judge. "rlhe first time they claim relationship the second they complain because the small trouble of answering them has not been taken and the third, they scold and threaten."

One "cousin," who had*"distinct recollections and proof" of having worked for "my cousin" once, openly demanded, "What are you going to do for me?" "And if you ain't going to do anything for me, write and let me know it." Another writer seemed to Cxpect that his "recollecting distinctly" that he had '"given one of Mr. Stewart's relatives the small sum of dollars," entitled him to share in the great merchant's estate.

Among the most curious of these epistles were two to Mrs. Stewart from a spiritual medium in Boston. They were written in ghastly red ink, and professing to be communications direct trom the spirit land, were signed, "Your dear husband, A, T. Stewart." In these letters Mrs. Stewart was directed to bestow monev upon certain persons, and to conduct herself generally according to the views of the "spiritual author." "I hear that you have been asked to go to Europe," said the "spirit," in one of the letters, "with him I called my friend." "That's me." broke in Judge Hilton,

\vn»hiiitfton Jtcpulilican, May 24. Mr. Harrison, of Illinois, opposed so

much of the amendment as proposed the

n! ..Knlliirm nf the Marine hand.. lie opabolition pfthe Marine band.: He opposed it for two reasons. One was purely a!sthctic and the other was purely selfish. He would speak first ol the latter reason because it would come home to the gentlemen on the Democratic side of the louse. For fifteen years the

White 1 louse at the other end of the avenue had been occupicd by a R(.*puhlican President. During the winter season ed his

be the heirs of A. T. Stew- friends' there, and enjoyed the music prt

to contest his will and poured through the silver throats ol

oust Judge Hilton, was mentioned to the ver instruments by gentlemen in scarlet latter yesterddy. coats. After the 4th ol March next, "That'sall nonsense," said Judge llil- there will be a Demociatic 1 usidcnt ton laughing. "I never heard of it until there and shall he have no music: I saw itln print. There are lots of peo- [Laughter.] He had gone to some ot pie who would like to get a little of his the receptions, and he walked through moncv. Look at these letters," pointing

to about fifty tied with a red ribbon, on his

random,

the crowds

pocket-book

"That's a mere fraction of those that Mrs. purse. [Renewed laughter.] .Next _\ ear Stewart and myself reccive every day. 1 it will be different. lie would then VIM don't have time to read my own at all. there and walk with his Demociatic They are rich, though," continued the friends. Tud*c, laughing. "Just look here—just Voice pn the Republican side I-nei listen to this." Theil he untied the bun- we will put our hands on our pocketdie, and picking up letter after letter at hooks. [Laughter.]

fragrant

and good character of third persons who rounded by his

.. .• L«i.

claimed to be the relatives ot Mr. Stewart.' One old lady in Keokuk, Ohio, sent her photograph, and asserted that she was Mr. Stewart's cousin and only relative. At the end of her letter wiis a certificate of her "honesty, integrity, and veracity," with the autographs attached of some of the most respectable business men in Keokuk, including one firm that is a customer of Stewart's wholesalestore. "You see," said the Judge, laughing, "that each one claims to be the only relative, and will not admit the claims of the others."

who

Mi-

1 Iaviuia in his mouth and sur-

friends,

Never!

think ol the as-

tirli

piring Democrats who want to get on that porch and put their feet upon the balustrade and smoke fragant cigars Arc thev to be deprived of the music ot the Marine Band Never, sir, by my vote. [Laughter.] Why, sir, there is a son of the Empire State greater than he who cut the Gordian knot for while that knot was made of cord, he cut a ring of steel— a canal ring. Is he to be deprived ot the Marine Band to give him music? Never, sir! Never bv my vote! [Renewed laughter.] Then we have^ other men. '/here mav be one who will grace the presidential chair as it has not been graced for lon«- vears -a chevalier sans reproche. Are we to deny to him the enchanting strains of the Marine Band? Never! Never!

sir, if I can help it! [Laughter.]

Then we

have men from the West—one

from the great State of Ohio. Mr. Kellev—Bill Allen. Mr. Harrison—A man who graces his chair in the Senate of the United States. Is he to have no other music than that civen out of his red bandanna? Never sir, never never, if my vote can pre\ent it. [Laughter.[ Then there is a man from Illinois, my own State, who will f.ll the Presidential chair as it has never been filled before. There will not be a single inch that will not be filled. Shall I go to the White House then and have no music to aid the President and his friends in tripping it on the light fantastic toe? Never, sir, never never by my consent. Then there is another gentleman from Illinois—a man who served as a general

will wart to have old memories brought back by the strains of martial music. Shall I, by my vote, refuse it to him? Never sir, never, never! [Laughter.] Then there is another, the great "Unknown" of the Democratic party,

who

will fill that seat. ,I call no names! modesty would forbid it. [Increased Laughter.] The Democratic party is full of the great "Unknown," thousands of whom are willing to fill that seat. When the great Unknown gets to the White house, he shall he have 110 music? shall not be deprived of it by my vote. No, sir, never, never, never! [Great laughter and Applause.

A Question of Damages. A colored citizen of Ohio street main-

A

coioreu uuiu.

laughing as he read, "but I had no tains a family dog about 6 inches high thought of going." "I advise you," con-

U1

and

when

e(jthe

cai

after the great merchant's death

family,

v...«

8 inches'long. The said dog never

tried

to eat any one up until yesterday

he attacked a pedestrian and nip

ped

his leg. The pedestrian at once

cailed

the owner of the dog out ot doors

ancj

demanded damages.

colored man.

Mrs. Stewart a communication from the "Right there," replied tne victim, ex "spirit land" signed by her husband. In hibiting a black and bine spot. this, with great gravity of langua^ she "And what's the damage?" was directed to pnrchasc several thou- "Five hundred dollars.'

boxes of Dr. Moore's fever pills Shoo! you can have the dog for and copies of his medical book, which dollar!" were to be distributed among the poor "Makes no difference," continued the girls of the establishment, in order that

man.

they might know what medicine to buy. 'j don't say that he hasinftictcJ five hun"The Judge will purchase them," con- dred dollars' worth of physical damage,

the spirit, gravely, and the Judge

laughed heartily when he read it. Ac-

world"

I

estimate it at

only

can

cording to this "communication," the hydrophobia for no small sum." dead merchant is oppressed in the "spirit

two shillings, but

damages!^

Elie Charlier, in regard to the manage- Xhe colored man knocked the dog in ment of her affairs. the head with the spade, and aa th^ aniMost of the claimants professed to be

mai

I

ije awake at nights and think of

can

never pav dat sum."

kicked his last he remarked:

cousins of Mr. Stewart. Some said they ... "If you has been "bitten by a dog I had discovered with surprise their rela don't know nuffin about it. used to

own

others had heard their parents say that dar'sany more talk about damages heah thev had a relative "in New York named j'u

Stewart, a great dry goods merchantwhite man.',—[Detroit Free Press. and others gave accounts of the Stewart

and offered to prove their rela- IT occurs to some' writers, principally tionship. In many cases the writers the city editors of small places, to speak made no concealment of the fact that of base ball as a lunacy. It is more than their object was to get money, and the likely that these editors don't *now a demand for help was sometimes rudely, 'muff" from a muffin or a "bar fronv an and often pathetically made. "The owl or .they would nottalk so,, Bape ball

of some of those fellows affects me, is no lunacy. It is a healthful sport tosaid Judge Hilton. "It is really quite,

a little dog, but he's dead now! If

cHmb

over defence and hart some

ductiye

reminds one of Mark Twain just what the American

seeping at the grave of Adam." Those of us who work, work hard One

assured Judge Hilton that until we become imbeciles »n txxry and h- must be the long-lost brother in search mind and are no longer able 19 aecomOf whom he had spent man^year§. An- plish a day's hard application. 1 other informed him that he knfcw where __ -i SiMoo,ooo worth of s»liddiafhonds ve

of muscle and dexterity It

PeoP»e

'want,

THE competitive examination fcar t^e.

remuneration would latin department of the High School

ftveal his secret. A third had laborously comes off next Thursday. 1

\*$r

A smart answer—A minister in one of his parochial visits met a cowhcrd. and asked him what o'clock it was. ^About twelve, sir," was the reply. "Well," quoth the minister. "I thought it had been more." "It's never any more here.", said the boy "it just begins at one again."

Fond

of Republicans with one hand

and another on Ins

Ma, does pa kiss the cat:" "Why, 110, mv son. What in the name of goodness put that in your head?" "Cos when pa came down "stairs this morning he kissed Sarah in the hallway and said, "That's better than kissing that old cat np stairs, ain't it, Sarah?"—New Orleans Picayune.

Class in the middle of geography, stand up," said a schoolmaster. "What is a pyramid?" he asked. "A pile ot men in a circus, one on top of the other."

Where's Egypt?" "Where it always was." "Where's Wales?" "All over the sea." "Very well," said.the schoolmaster "stay there till I show you a species of birch that grows all over the land."

As a boy was going down a street 111 Boston, a woman opened the front door and called, "John, John, John!" As the boy paid no attention to the calls, a pedestrain said to him, "Here, boy, your mother is calling you." "No she isn't," replied the lad," as he turned the corner "she's only mv father's second wife, and I want her to understand that she can't run me."

He isn't six years old. and he said: Please, sister Sarah, can't I have another piece of that nice custard pie you made?"

Why, deary, you are too full for utterance now. Look at that luscious dumpling on your plate not half eaten." "Oh, well, sister^ I know the dumpling side of my stomach is full, but the custard-pie side feels rather empty yet." That other piece of pie is missing.

A Brownsville young an (says the Grand Rapids Democrat) called on his intended the oth&r,

And, when "Sis" got her hair banged and came in, she found the parlor deserted by all save her brother, who was innocently tying the tails of two kittens together, and singing.^

Personal Paragraphs. Ben. Butler's second choice is Morton. His first choice is out of politics temporarily.

Mrs. Van Cott has commenced her revival champaign in Davenport, Iowa, and is attracting very large audiences.

The Boston Globe expects to hear*of Grace Greenwood's appearance on the stage next, to be followed by the debut of Harriet Beecher Stowe.

Mrs. Wirt Stykes (nee Olive Logan) exclaims in one of her Centennial letters: "Ye heathen gods! how men do guzzle."

Stanley had not hpard from the Herald office since 1875, when he "passed in the darkness of central Africa." —Prince Napoleon is one of the most eloquent speakers of France. His profile, which is almost the cxact conterpart of that ofthegreat Napoleon, also lends a good deal of shine to his oratory.

It amuses the children of the house where Anna Dickinson boards to see her practicing with a tomahawk upon the effigy of dramatic critic.

The Brooklyn Eagle feels that Mr Bowen ought to respect his famiiy enough, sir, to go out and shoot himself, sir. Suppose he shot the editor of the Eagle, sir?

Congressman Hoar bears a striking resemblance to Horace Greeley' 'and his voice is very much like that of the late editor.

Colonel P. Donan, who gained notarity as the editor of the Caucasian, at Lexington, Misssouri, is now conducting the Danville News, insuthern Virginia.

Dom Pedro is said to have been delighted with Grant's politeness. Anybody who wants to find his way to the emperor's heart can best do it in silence. He wants Nothing but silence and Dom little of that. -PittsburgLeader. v.

¥m

THE TKRKK HAUTE WEEKLY. GAZETTE.

Nursery Nonsense

The Chicago Times is authority for the statement that a pair of Indiana twips each fifty years old, wish to pass themselves off for a centenarian.

As soon as the novelty wears off, a man never wakes a baby up for the purpose of hearing it laugh.

A little boy, whose couduct made his mother say that she feared he did not pray, replied: "Yes I do I pra' every night that God will make you and pa like mv ways better."

A Worcester mother, having occasion to reprove her little seven-year-old daughter for playing with some rude children, received for a reply: "Well, ma some folks don't like bad company, but I always did!"

A bad spell "Thomas, spell weather," said a school'master to one of his pupils. W-i-e-a-t-h-i-o-u-r, weather. "Well. Thomas, you may sit down," said the teacher. "I think this is the worst spell of weather we have had since Christmas.'

That was a good Detroit boy who told his father that if he would buy him a pony he would let him have the use of it when it was too rainy for good boys to be out. —Detroit Free Press.

mamma about to get into her car­

riage to small boy in the house door: Now, Freddie, arc you not going to kiss me?" Freddie: "I haven't time to come down, mamma. (To footman) John, you kiss mamma for me."

A grumbling old bachelor, after listening to the following, "She was her muver's own 'ittle darlin' wopsv popsy deary ducksv, so she was, an'" she mus' keep still,""asks, ''Whydon't women talk some decent kind of English to their children."

(catling,

and while

writing for her to mal(f her appearaece he struck up a

1

conversation with his

prospective brother-in-law. After a while the boy asked: "Does galvanized niggers know much?'' "I really can't say," answered the amused young man: and silence reigned for a few moments, when the boy again resumed: "Kin you play checkers with your nose?"

No, I have not acquired that accomplishment." "Well, you'd better learn you hear me:" "Why?" "Cause, Sis says that yer don't know us much as a galvanized nigger, but yer dad's got lots of 6tamps, and she'll marry you anyhow, and she said when she got aholt the old man's sugar she was a goin' to all of the Fourth of July perceshuns an' ice-cream gum-sucks and let you stay at home to play checkers with that holly-hog nose ofyourn."

k-,

The statement made in various newspapers that Mrs. Swisshelm's daughter was soon to come farward in opera seems to be eroneous. Miss Zoe is to appear as a pianist, having developed rare power from an early age. V:i

It is related of Sydney Smith that once, on entering a drawing-room in a West End mansion, he found it lined with mirrors on all sides. Finding himself reflected in every direction, he said he "supposed he was at a meeting.of the clergy, and there seemed to be a very respectable attendance.

Sam Cox asked the guard before the Corlis engine at the Centennial show what horse-power the engine had. "why you d-^-d fool," said the guard with a withering expression, "it don't run by horses they use steam. l)r. John Davies Jones has just married Miss May Potter, founder of the Cinc'nnati Commercial. Sirs. Jones her mother and sister are the principal owners of the stock of the paper, and rumor hinte that her husband may displace Murat Halsted in its editorship in fine, that the commercial may go to Davies Jones' locker.

Selected Sharps-

Leading citizens are those who never lead.

Fulton Times Fame is cheap. A man'with a live legged chicken finds himself surrounded by an atmosphere of glory, more than equal to that felt by a dead man with a $5o ooo monument.

An erudite insurance agent sent the following dispatch to a Western office just after the Boston fire "Our companies all sound as a nut. Loss will exper still

ceed $ 100,000. Advance rates 25 cent, and go ahead. Our motto is 'Soc et tu em."

At the annual convention of gypsies held a few days ago atjoliet, 111., the chief laid out the route to be pursued by each band during the year.

After all, when the grocer says that the maple-sugar comes to nineteen cents, it makes a man feel more independent to slam down a silver half-dollar and say "Taker out o' that."

The Norristown Herald says: There is still another serious objection to silver money. A man can't stand on his head without the "quarters" and "halves" rolling out of his pockets. Women can't either, unless they have lids on their pockets.

It is stated the "late John Carpenter, of Marquette. Mich., knocked the ashes out of his pipe on the head of a keg of blasting powder"

Said an Irish justice to an obstreperous prisoner oh trial: "'We want nothing but silence, and but little of that."

A correspondent entered an office and accused the compositor of not having punctuated his communication, when the typo earnestly replied "I'm not a pointer I'm a setter."

Currency.

Beans it's spring, lettuce have peas. A goodlayvyer is not a necessity, for necassity knows no law.

It is every man's duty to shake carpets —the word "shake" to be used in its popular sense.

One handsome girl in a dry goods store will make every man in town feel like buying his wife a dress.

Ignorant people think they are very wise when they ask questions that they kant answer themselves.—Josh Billings.

There are ifiany trying things in life, but a man's seif-respect is

neAer

so

wounded as when he sees a silver tencent piece lying on a show-case makes up his mind to steal it gently reaches out his hand to take it jn, and then discovers that, it is glued on to the under side of the glass.—[Norwich Bulletin.

"Some confounded idiot has put that pen where I can't find it!" growled old Asperity the other day, as he rooted about the desk. "Ah, um, yes I thought so," he continued in a lower key, as he hauled the article from behind his ear.

A railroad brakeman, in Texas, found a wallet containing $2,000 and restored it» to the owner. Within forty minutes after that the brakeman fell off the cars and was killed. The moral is plain enough.

A Portland man, caught fishing for

trout on another man's land the other

day, completely silenced the owner, who remonstrated, with the majestic answer, "Who wants to catch your trout I am only trying to drown this worm."

The Alabama Planter complains that its little garden patch was unprofitable last season: "The snails ate up the cucumbers the chickens ate up the snail the neighbor's cats ate up the chickens, and we are now in search of something that will eat up the ca's

A spiritualist thinks it unfair that the Smithsonian Institution savants refused to entertain the subject of spiritism because their time was too valuable., whfn at the same session they spent several hours discussing the subject "Why cocks crow at certain hours of the night

An absent-minded ed tor having courted a girl and applied to her fatheJ, the old man said "Well, you want my daughter what sort of a settlement will you make What will you give to her "Give her," replied the other, looking up vacantly "Oh, I'll give her a puff' "Take her," replied the father.

If you have just drawn one thousand dollars from bank, and a stranger steps up while you are counting it, and remarks, "You have dropped a note, sir," you should "drop" the 6trangtr before stooping to pick up the "dropped" note. That's the wav we do.

Harry (whose papa has just gone to the English school for yeomanry officers at Aldershot): "Mamma, what will papa learn at this school?" Mamma: "He will be taught how to command a troop and a great many things you could not understand but tnere is one thing, Hany (impressively), which all soldiers must learn, and which I very milch wi6h I could teach you—to do exactly as they are told." Harry (reflectively): f'Papa won't mind that much he always has, .to do it at home!""—Punch, IZii

JI.

j*

The old gentlertan rurhed across the street his hat, and offered to assist in possible wav. His wife followed h.anvraided 8

him across at a slow pace, and witnessing his devotion to the stranger, she got mad and shook her fist at him. "It's all right —it's all right." he whispered. "Y$s, I know it is," she hotly exclaimed. "Here an unknown woman stubs her toe and you plow across the street to eat jper up with kindness.. The other day when I fell down stairs you stood at the bottom and laughed, and chuckled, and tickled your ribs, and wanted to know if I was practicing for a circus."—Boston Globe.

A Broken-Hearted Race. The spirit of the red man is broken. If any one else penned this sentence previous to presrt date it was all right. The spirit was broken quite a spell ago, and it was all right to say so.

The red man of Canada and Michigan is no longer on the whoop. Whisky, plug tobacco and the white man's old clothes have taken all the fancykinks out cf his spinal column. He couldn't see a warpath if there were forty under his nose, and he can't tell a war-cry from the voict of a ferry boat captain calling through the gloom of a stonn night: 'Why don't that there feller cast off his bow line?"

All of the above and a dozen times as much was suggested by an incident transpiring yesterday. Two Indians and a squtjw were tramping around with beadwork and baskets, when they came to a small auction house. On a bench at the door were a pile of \very old-fashioned hats and bonnets for female wear, and the Indian traded a basket for enough headgear to cover three heads. If Cooper had been around and seen that noble red man stick his head into an old-fashioned box-bonnet, trimmed with six yards of yellow ribbon. Cooper would have wept where the boys laughed until the tears came. It was a bargain, however. When an Indian can buy a bonnet for four cents' worth of basket he isn't going to stand out about the style of it. One bonnet is as good as another, if it has yellow ribbons aud a rose with three buds just ready to blossom out.

The mighty warrior pnt on the bonr.et and wore it away. No t^ish of degradation mantled his cheek. T)n the contrary he rolled his quid to starboard ar.d tried to spit clear across the steet. Some stray thoughts of old times made him step" high for a few rods but then the feeling passed away and lie slammed along like a farmer going to •nill. The bovs jeered and followed on behind, but they couldn't fool that red child of the mighty wilderness. The gay yellowstrings were carried out behind his ears by the breeze frcm Lake Erie, and on his bronzed features there rested a pensive smile. Looking behind him at the squaws as he turned into Michigan avenue he grunted: "Three heap bonnets twelve cent! Injun look like squaws, mebbe—mebbe squaws look like Injun! Jim Brown all right—make heap trade!"

The Arab Steed.

Pctroit Free Press.

Yesterday morning a man named Mr Flink, living in Macomb county, brought a horse into Detroit to sell him. He stated to the crbwd who surrounded the auction-block that he brought the horse a distance of 11 miles, but no one believed it. No one believed the horse capable of walking 11 rods without falling down. He was a horse of many bones, and the old hide covering the bones looked like the army blankets left along the Rapidan riven. The animal was blind, lame in two legs, and he didn't look able to draw a stick of candy off the sidewalk. And yet his enthusiastic owner mounted the box and btgan: "Gentlemen, for the first time in the history of Detroit, I offer you a pureblooded Arabian horse. Poverty is an awful hard thing on a man, gentlemen, and poverty drives me to offer this Arabian steed to the highest bidder."

The old horse drew a groan and tried to find something to lean against. "Don't laugh, gentlemen," continued Mr. Flink, "When you laugh at this horse you laugh at my poverty. He's poor in flesh, I admit, but who ever saw a fat Arabian steed? If he wasn't as he is he couldn't run away from tornadoes, at I have known him to do." "Fifty cents!" called out ©ne of the crowd. "What wretch was that gasped Mr. Flink. "Who is base enough to bid that paltry sum for a horse who has made his mile in two minutes and under? Think of the first Arab horse ever seen

Detroit sold for fifty cents! However poverty is an awful thing, gentlemen,

and

I "8ay fifty—fifty—fifty—cents!

He said so for a long time, and then some one went a cent higher. "Fifty-one!" Now may I never see another sun! Think of a penny bid on an Arabian horse—an animal whose hoofs have pressed the plains of Tartarv whose speed is only equaled by a locomotive! .So I am only offered fifty-one— fifty-one—one—one."

The horse began to shake and tremble, as if having the ague, and the auctioneer looked down into the face of a colored man and inquired: "Will you 6tand by and sees a noble horse sold for fifty-one cents? Why, man, if I were able to keep that horse this summer I could win $ 10,000 on the race course."

The colored man jumped the bid to sixty cent6, and the horse was knocked down to him without an instant's delay. "I may come round and see you tomorrow," whispered the auctioneer as he received his scrip. "If I get some money I'm after, I want to buy that horse back for $50.

The colored man procured a rope and led his prize away. The horse limped and stumbled along for half a block, and then uttered an awful groan and keeled over. The purchaser ran back to the saloon where Mr. Flink was drinking beer and called out: "Here, Bess! Dat horse has keeled over." "Ah! we must all die!" sighed Mr. Flink as he 6ipped his beer. "I suppose it's the blamed weather!" "But whar's my money?" inquired the purchaser. "Here in my vest. If you had paid, me $1,000for that horse you might' still feel proud over having bought the only Arabian steed ever offered for sale in Detroit."

The colored man attempted to choke his sixty cents out of Mr. Flink, but he was bent over a table pounded oh the nose, and dragged around over chairs, and Mr. Flink remarked: "The

man

and.a

who gets an Arabian horse

good-

mauling for sixty cents ought

to be happy."

r^fcr-W is?

mmm mwim,

i*h 1 ladeiph in, Pen nsyIvania.

The Great International Exhibition designed to commemorate the one hundredth anniversary of American independence, will open May 10th and close November 10th, 1876. All the nations of the world, and all the States and Tcrrito ries of the Union will participate, bringing together the most comprehensive collection of art treasures, mcchnnical inventions. scientific discovries, manufacturing achievements, mineral specimens, ami agrcultural products ever exhibited. The grounds devoted to the Exhibition are situated on the line of the Prnsplvria Railsoad, aud embrace four hundred and fifty acres of Fairmount Park, all highly improved and ornamented, on which are erected the largest building ever constructed—five of these covering an area of fifty acres, and costing $5,000,000. The total number of buildings erected for tile purposes of the Exhibition is over one hundred.

THE PENSYLVANIA RAILROAD.

Tin

GREAT TRUNK LINK

Hail Rents of Mnittdtts.

will be the most direct, convenient an ccoromical way of reaching Philadelphia and this great Exhibition from all sections of the country. Its trains to and from Philadelphia will pass through a grand cen tennial Depot, which the company have erected at the Main Entrance to the Exhibition Grounds for the accomodation of passengers who wish to stop at or start from the numerous large hotels contiguous to this station and the Exhibition—a convenience of the greatest value to visitors, and afforded exclusively by the Pennsylvania Railroad, which is the only line running direct to the Centennial buildings. Excursion trains will also stop at the Encampment of the Patrons of Husbandry, at Elm Station, on this road.

The Pennsylvania Railroad is the grandest railway organization in the world. It controls seven thousand miles of roadway, forming continuous lilies to Philadelphia, New York, Baltimore and Washington, over which luxurious day and night cars are run frcm Chicago, St. Louis, Louisville, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Columbus, Toledo, Cleveland and Erie, without change.

Its main line is laid with double nnd third tracks of heavy steel rails upon a deep bed of broken stone ballast, and its bridges are all of iron or stone. Its passenger trains are equipped with every known improvement for comfort and safety, and are run at faster speed for greater distances, than the trains of any line on the continent. The Company has largely increased its equipment for Centennial travel and will be prepared to build in its own shops, locomotives and passenger cars at short notice sufficient to fully accomodate any extra demand. The unequalled resources at the command of the company guarantee the most perfect accommodations for all its patrons during the Centennial Exhibition.

The magnificent scenery for which the Pennsylvania Railroad is so justly celebrated presents to the traveler over its perfect roadway an ever-changing panorama of river, mountain, and landscape views uncqualcd in America.

The eating stations on this line are unsurpassed. Meals will be furnished at suitable hours and' ample time .-allowed for enjoying them.

Excursion tickets, at reduced rates, will-: be sold at all principal railroad ticket offices in the West, Northwest, Southwest.

Be sure that your tickets read ia the Great Pennsylvania route to the Centennial, FRANK THOMPSON, D. M. BOYI, JR.,

Gen'l Manager. Gen'l Pass'r Agt

KANSAS PACIFIC RAILWAY.

The Old Pioneer Line.

KANSAS, COLORADO, SAN JUAN, Bf.ACK

II ILLS.

Kansiis City to Denver and thefamou Rocky Mountain resorts. The direel roule to San Juan. The only line frenr K-ansas City to Black Hills under our management. Passes through the fertile Centrai Kansas, and through the important cities, and the locations of the capital and all the great State institutions through the finest Fanning and Grazing land in America. Millions of acres for sale ches^ by the Railway Company up on lon» time, and to be had free by actual settles. Reaches Colorado, with itt Charming Climate, its celebrated Ho and Cold medical Springs. Magnificeii Scenery—Perpetual Snow-cappea mountain summits,

14,000

feet high, Water-

Falls and Cascades—almost continua Sunshine, Cool Nights in summer. Tht most desirable climate for invalids, summer and in winter in the world sure cure for Asthma, and has a good effect upon those predisposed to pulmonary affections. Colorado produces the best Beef and Flour has valuable Gold, Sil ver, Copper. Lead and Coal Mine? Good Hotels^Fine Roads Good Huntini and Fishing.

Pullman PalacJe Cars and fine Da Coaches through to Denver vyithou change. No ferries, transfers or change: of cars to annoy. Lowest rate to al points guaranteed. For descriptive circu lars, address "General Passenger Agen Kansas Pacific Railway, Kansas City."

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OR cbideabo

10 um

Take the Atchison, Topeka & Santa Railroad, the new and popular line froi ATCHISON and KANSAS CITY, via th beautiful Arkansas Valley, to PVEBL COLORADO SPRINGS, DENVER, CAXO. CITY, CUCHARAS, DEL NORTE, TRIM DAD, SANTA FE and all points in Color ado New Mexico and Anzonia, Spec ial round trip

90

day tickets to Denve

on sale May 15th. at $5° ^'"8 famous watering places on the D. & G. Road. Low emigrant rates to th Sanjaun Mines.

PULLMAN PALACE SLEEPING CAR between the Missouri River and th Rocky Mountains without change. CL connections made at Kansas City a~ Atchison in Union Depots. For maps time tables and the "San Juan Guide,. AddressT. J. ANDERSON,?

Gen. Paw. Agt,.TOPEKA, KA*

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