Terre Haute Weekly Gazette, Volume 7, Number 39, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 23 March 1876 — Page 2

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fcight iin»H aoiid Nonpurlel constltntf a

^feariy ndvenis-rs will be monthly changes of matter, fn-e The rates of advertising In the

Wbkki/v

be Ha:I the rates ohargeo

11A&ertkments

In both tho 1)^^

will be charged foil Dally ratei

Mid one-hair the Weekly rates Marriage* and FuneralNotlcesii.no. Society Meetings and Religions Notions oents each lnKirflon.

Wants, For Bale, For Rent, Lo t. Fonnd, to five lines for 25 cent*, each Insertion, and each additional lino Scents.

Xjooal Notices. 1« cents per ll'ie. first, inaartlon and 5 cents each snbseqnent Insertion, and all notices charged for full rates between the dash rules.

City Items Inserted one time only. 25

^OUy^newsM1'cents per line, one Insertion. For breaking columns 25 per cent, will be •dded to the above rates.

Advertisements Inserted every other day, will be charged two-thlrdf of fnll rates. Advertisement" Inserted twice a wees, will be charged one-half of full rates.

Advertisements Insterted once each week will be charges one-time rates for each Insertion.

MARK TWAINS BOYHOOD.

How Sain rieni^ns »nd Polo Phyj Pnuld

the Ornllhol

«g»Kt. Hannibal (Mo.) Courier. An article recently published in the Courier brought uf. in a party of gentlemen, two of whom were Messrs. David Dean and William Brown, of Ralls county, a convdrsation in regard to th* early youth of Sam Clemens (Mark Twain.)

Several aunusing anecdotes were rotated about Marc when be was a small boy, among others the following:

Mark had a constant playmate and chum, a bov about his own age, named Napoleon Pavey, or, for short, Pole Pavey. One warm spring day, the two boys h»»itig got a holiday, Mark shonldered an old flint-lock musket, and Pole oil old squirrel rille without any lock st. all, which he carried along, as ho said, just for the looks of the thing, and went, duck bunting over on Shy Bottom, The boys bunted faithfully torsevtral hours and succeeded In killing a chicken-haw and a crow, aft»r whioh they commenccd their bomewxrd inarch, not very proud of their sucv ess.

in this region at that

dav, game abounded. Finsliv, Mark stopped suddenly, as an idea struck him, and exclaimed: "See here, Pole, let's git up a rare what d'ye cull it? A rare geologi cal specimen for the boss yon see he's got a great bankerin' after these things." "What's a rare geological specimen, Mark?" Baid Pole, us be opened wide bis eyes. "Why, it's a rare bird what ain't •ever been seen in these parts before something T^ry uncommon like," answered Mark. "Where are you going to git her at. Mark? We ain't got nothing but this old cbicken-robb°r .and egg-sucker, and they ain't a bit uncommon," queried the skeptical Pole. "We'll git her up to order, Pole," answered Mark, as be flung himself on tbe green grass beneatb a giant old elm tree.

Tbe two boys went to work on their rare "geological" specimen. As Maik would pluck a leather from tbe tall of the crow, Pole would hand bim a corresponding feather from tbe tail of tbe hawk, which Mark would carefully insert in tbe socket from which he bad just pulled the crow's feather. And thus, after two hours of steady work, every one of tbe long feathers ot the kawk's tail had been transferred to tbe crow, and it would bare required a careful examination to have deteoted tbe fraud. "How is that for a specimen, Pole?" said Mark, as be admiringly exhibited the retailed crow to tbe gaze of his companion, resplendent in the rich plumage of the chicken eater. "She is a stunner, Mark a regular •tanner. I guess they ain't never seen a bird like that in the Hannibal before."

Tbe hawk was thrown away, and tbe boys trudged homeward. By the time they arrived in town tbe blood of the crow bad congealed, and the false feathers in the tail had become firmly fixed.

Aa Mark had said. Judge Clemens, bis fatber, was somewhat of a natural 1st, and had a passion for whatever was rare and strange in the animal kingdom. "Whv, Mark!" be said, "where in the world did you get that strange looking bird?" "it's my opinion," replied Mark, with an air of greater importance than he was accustomed to -assume in the presence of his tather, "that is the Bird .of Paradise leastwise that it belongs to that species."

That night the bird was carefully laid away in a place wbere it would tie safe from the devouring presence of the old tom-cats, which Mark afterwards wrote about as creating such fearful destruction at his sister's candy pollings. Tbe report toon circulated through the town that a strange bird, the like of which had never before been seen, was killed, and Mark aid Pole became the hemes of the hoar. The next day being Sunday^ Judge Clemens invited all the wise Inen of tbe village of Hannibal to his house to examine and pass an opinion on the new "geological specimen." Tbey came. The bird was exhibited OB» table, around which the vavans gathered. One faction headed by Xfr maintained that the bird was nothing more than a oommon black crow, the tail of which had been tnrned gray by some aoeidental cause not understood, having possibly had salt thrown on It in thejfoufig and tender days oi fhe bird. The other faction, hstded bv Judge Clemens, scooted snub an ioea. It was absurd-ridiou-

The discussion was continued, and In—- exoitiag. Neither fret Ion would ain"* themselves wrong and the other right. Mark and Pol* own pled a po amon near the door, aad were atlas ttve and inteisstod, thaigh silent aa-

What!" exclaimed Judge Clemens,

warming

up, "do you tell me that it

won Id b® possible by any_ ..xternal proo^M to tarn the feathers In the tali of th«t bird fro.m black to the co.ors they areT Tbete onifonn ringi and •pots would defy the ekill of the greateat painter that

eyer

lived. No, gentle

men," continued tbe

3

O O r~

Mu*

rather violently took bold of tbe bird by the tail, to examine tbe spots more closely "no gentlemen—- But"* discussion was «lt short, by the bird dropping back on tbe table, while the Judge held tbe tail in bis band. "Lot'sscoot. Pole," said Mark, ihr: •how.s ended." And the two boys va moosed.

Tbe Judge contemplated the rare geological specimen" with consternation, and then bie eye wandered to the open door and caught a glimpse or hiyoung hopeful and bis companion i" miicbtef, cutting across tue back yard for high timber. "Let us arijourn for dinner, gentle men we will renew the discussion 'after dinner," said the Judge, but be never willingly renewed with nn.y person except Mark. That night, when Mark bid got into bed, alter creeping through the back window, a vision of bis father standing by the bedside appeared before him. "8o it is "your opinion is it, you young rascal, that tbe rare geological specimen is a bird of paradiso," sni'i the vision as it tickled Mark on his naked legs with a keen, cherry switch.

Mark said he lelt sick, and didn't have any opinion, which was probably true, as he had dined and supped that day on green radishes found in tbe gardf of Pole's mother.

Orthodox Odditis.

Harvey E. Welton, of Pontine. Micli., was converted recently, and confessed to various acts of arson and theft, running through the last five or six yeare. The unsympathetic officers of the law put bim iu jail.

The Chaplain of a work house in the suburbs of London, has resigned because the inmates of the liou-o were ''forever singing the Moody and 8aukey hymns."

A Great Falls minister pin it this way to bid congregation, the other 8undav: "Come into tbe front seals or leave the house-" And most of bis audience left the house.

At a young ladies seminary, recently, during an examination in history, one of the not most promising pupils was interrogated: "Mary, did Martin Luther die a natural death?" "No," was the re. ly "he was excommunicated by a bull."

A romantic Brooklyn girl says of her handsome pastor: "I know lie is a good man, because as I sit in church and listen to his words and watcli his beautiful smile, I can think of nothing but Heaven and the angels."

The Rev. Mr.l&Hammond lias formed a partnership with a singing pilgrimr and he proposes to see whether the Hammond Combination has not rights that the Moody and Sankey Combination is bound to respect:

The bank robbery ia uppermost in everybody's mind in Northampton. A Methodist brother mentioned it in a recent public prayer: "O Lord, we thank Thee that heaven is our safe and Christ our chronemeter lock."

New York Commercial: A Wall street broker has not been to church in twenty years. Yesterday he went after salvation to tbe Hippodrome and had his pocket picked. He iB now a pronounced heathen. Moody and Sankey are evidently needed in Wall street.

My dear brethren," said a pastor lately from bis pulpit, "never nut yourself into tbe liability of losing your reason. Reason is a bridle which has been given us to direct our passions." On the same day the pas tor got drunk. One of bis parisbion* ers asked what be had done with his bridle. "Good faith," says he, "I have taken it off to drink."

The Rev. Adirondack Murray said in bis sermon a week or two ago, "Heaven is not populated with sing" ing thieves, or palm-bearing bank*rupts, who Bettle with their creditors at twenty-five cents on tbe dollar Wednesday, and ride to church next Sabbath in a thousand-dollar coach, with a man in livery v.n the box."

Petticoat Pleasantries.

Tbe ladies are very engaging durr ing,leap year, Society belles are not rlngiDg very loudly just now.

A new "lady clerk" in a dry goods store, who objected to nicknames, addressed one of the little store*boys, as "Cassius."

St. Louis Times: "The last time Mrs. Belknap appeared in Washington society'ghe wore two elegant posttraderships for ear-bobs, while on her bosom a fat sutlersbip rose and fell with the soft tide of emotion."

M. Dumas, is advertisng that a young girl Bhould be taught what dangers surround her, says: "She woold know, it is true, what a young girl ought not to be told, but, on tbe other hand, she would know what a young girl ought not to do."

Joaquiu Miller, in[describing how bo Ml in love with a girl at a rail' road accident, makes a strong dramatic poiut wbere he says. -c •'I m«ber

before me lie iciidm and pale,

With ber bnatle ripped up on the ravenoOSTail.-' The downfall of the Belknap family is inexpressibly sad. Think of a woman who wears No. 2} shoes being obliged to do her own bouse, work.

A Putnam lady tried on a pair of shoes the other day and found a dol lar-blll in one of the seams. Those Windbam»Couaty girls are always lucky. It seems as if they never

Sndiug

They were willing to admit that

tto bird Tory nnoii itMinbtod the crow that possibly It was a crow- but, if so, it belonged to a separate and distinct species from any that had over before been discovered.

ul'.ed on a pair of boots (without an umbrella, or an ulster, or other really valuable articles, hidden down around tbe toes somewhere inside.—Norwich [Conn.] Bulletin.

Miss Mary E. Smith, a young and prepossessing woman residing in Bedford aveao$ New York, has sued a florist for $5,000 damage alleged to be sustained by a kiss which he gave ber while in the aet of pinning flowers on her dress. If Miss Smith is all she is represented to he,

a dally kiss from her at these rates would be DO extravagance—while a fe low'd mouey lasted.

A young woman, who appears to b3 opposed to girls being taught to sew, writes as follows to the Woman's Journal: "Some time since a gentleman of Ithaca, said, in quite a company, "I mean to oflar a prize for (he tpst shirt ma.!** by the lady-stu dents of the UiiiverMiy." If yell do,' I rejoined ImpuisMye, I will offer uii tqual »e for tbe nest he» mise made t»y a male ftudent. It is a poo- rule that won't work both ways."

Selected Murp^.

John PJ:iHf»r Alabaoler is.tlip itatne of a man in okuk. When is love a battle? Winn it comes to an engagement. li i:» c'aimed thatsau* rkraut is really a tonic. Ye*, ii'« Teutonic.

There are ll,8:s8 blind men aud 8 977 blind womrii in tiie United Btateg.

In LofaiiNporr, Iml there are, according to the census, seven females to one male.

The »»f "Go West" lias changed. Ail editorial article io a Western paper is headed "Hop Yeast."

If ve believe Fiuaro, which lias the largest circulation of any journal in Franco, the rsigu of fraternity is uigh.

One county in Illinois sold its peppermint crop last year for $500,000. A man in Northampton coun'.v, Penn has contracted to ship 75,000 school nlates to Jupan.

A country t-peller brought forward Josh Billings as authority for "cyder." He must have b?en hard pretwed.

Twenty-onr years ago T»lainn was an editor. l,«t.*us conceal nothing at a time like this,

Baltimore gives free concerts to the poor. Tbe mii^ic the poor like to hear is from a knife fiddling on a loaf o* bread. "Quicker transit is what we want!" ga«ped a fat policeman, as he chased a thief down Park place, New York, the other day.

A man in Indianapolis has Invented a new kind of fine-tooth comb, and tb» citizens say such a thing never entered their heads before.

Col. Forney is a distinct speaker.— Philadelphia Press. Ah! Oh! By the way, Colonel, what was that you said about that $25,000 of Pacific Mail moi.ey?

A New England journal says: "A check for two cents, drawn by a leading Norwich bank man, passed through about twenty hands lust week, and wag finally deposited In the bank."

Personal Paragraphs.

Von Bulow wants to live in Boston Bret Hnrt's "M'lisa" has been translated into Germany.

Bons

Shepherd sticks to BelknBp,irnd

proposes a serenade. Mrs. Mary J. Holmes is writing serial stories for a trashy weekly newspaper.

Senator Cameron, of Pennsylvania, attained his 77th birthday last Wednesday.

Victor Hugo is to become President of a society lor the study and practice of cremation.

Henry Irving, tbo celebrated English actor, contemplates a pleat,uretrip to this country in August.

A foreign banker in Paris paid 3400 or bis box at the Comedie Franchise at the first performance of Dumas' new plav, "L' Etrangere."

Marshal MacMabon was "struck all of a heap" by the resnlta of'the late French election, buf be dues not rebel against tbe decreo of the nation.

The New York Tribuue reports that Mr. Gratiot WsBhburne, Hecretary of Legation at St Petersburg, has resigned at tbe urgent request of his fatber.

Mr. John MoCullougb prolonged his stay in Boston sevrral days in order to assist in the benefit to Mrs. Barry. He recited Arthur Mattison's "Tbe Boy Hero."

Max Muller writes in the preface to the new edition of "Tbe Roman and the Teuton" that few men excited wider and stronger By mathies tban Charles Kingsley.

Mr. James Parton's petition to tbe Massachusetts Legislature for a speci al act to legalize bU marriage has been reported adversely by the Committee which had it in charge,

David Dudley Field has been paid nothing for bis services in tbo Tweed case since the flight ot the defendant. His appearance as a champion of corruption is due only to his fondness foi tbe work.

Prof. Tyndall's bridal tour is the occasion for tbe exercise of certain small wits, who cannot imagine such a man wildly groping around under tbe seat of a railroad carriage for his bride'j little nicknacks.

Eli Perkins says "we" must turn Fish out of the Cabinet. "With $100,000 a year he demoralizes our poorer Secretaries, aud makes tbem steal to keep up with bim." Perkins in the act of turning Rah out would be a subject forNast.

Our new Minister to England, Richard H. Dana, Jr., onoe had a bitter experience at a Washington dinner party, tie bad been speaking at some length of bis nautical life ss narrated in "Two Years Before the Mast," when a gentleman present innoeently asked:

Where can I get that book, Mr. Dana? i. never heard of it before." Dana reddened with indignation and replied, ••At any library In the land, sir al any bookstore sir."

Nursery Kenmw.

If crying babies had any sense, they sever would take their mother's to matinees.

The theory of tbe Kindergarten system is that children most be tanght to play. Can a duck swim? "This is spanking fine vinegar,"

John Henry. "Ought to be spanking," replied young hopefhl— "there's 'mother' in it." "Going for the bottem facts is tbe conscientious Brooklyn haother calls it now when she slippers hor elkeat for fixing a clothes-pin on pussy's Mil.

A. Connecticut, lady was riding in th*c:«rs the other day with ber little girl, who, hearing the conductor cry the sta'ion. asked, "mama, do we gft out at be next holler

A lady riding in a street car at Philadelphia. tbe other day, discovered ha hf'rebil^, nine months old. was blind Ph sicians say it has been blind from its birth. i! Ohio exchange says that a hi by born In that S'ate on the 22'i of Febru «rv had red, white an blue hair. There is only one way to explain this phenomena. Tb- Ohio Excbnnir* lies. yi'.ev have sot a l»oy i'i IViiKhaniM »on five years old, who is phys'ci!l\ perfec', healthy, talks distinctly, i* verv activo, and weighs only rim pound?. He is twenty-three inches hinh.

A Iiqnor dealer in Ijowell, Mass tdvernsed a free lunch. A lady took lot of hungry children to bis shop, •tnl demanded a fre« dinner for the entire partv.

TWO OF GRANTS FRIEN tS.

The JI«Miuligln WaJks «f |m«» ('oitvici'd HclloaaldTlie ItliiNler ol

From the Chicago Times.

St. Louis March 9—Almost any one of *e hi igtit sptiiiK nitfbts maybe seen a ra' lier oddly liiatolied pair sauntering along one ot the cross Mreetn ii ih.it not very clearly defined quarter ot tbe city where the business block* leave otl and the residences begin. Tne mor noticeable iigure is that ot a man 6 feet 7}4 inches very squarely and sturdily built about iheshoulders. His head hits In tie motion independent ot thn body, the neck being thick and wide. The dr«s coat is buttoned across the stomach, aud the bearing is sHini-military, augrevated by a swsg g. not tnugiit, in that school.whicii Purler s»ys never graduated a thief— Went Pvint. A black slouch hat, pulled down over the rijiht side of tiie lace, irt ially hides a pair of cold gray eyes, Out leaves exposed heavy, firmly set jaws, and those lentures strongly do veloped which betoken great determination and force of will. Tte man is John McD malii, tho convicted Super "•visor ot Internal Revenue f.»r tlii* district. whom Dietrici-A'torney Dyer idmirfs as "tbe gn att-Bt little man ot this country." His companion is a deputy jni'or, whoso uniform is con veniently cb*cured by the substitution of a citizen's dress above the panta-

IO )11S. Jt has been declared with great posilivenesa that McD maid was seen in dark corn'-r of tbe Olympic 'I hoatre upon one or two nights recently, dur ing the engagement of a voluptuous star named May Howard. As to the truth of this I do not venture an opinion but there is uo doubt to tho nightly iambics. These, in tho main, aresimriy walks. Occasionally McDon/ld leads bis keeper a tramp loan unpretentious dwelling almost under the shadow of Gen. Sherman.s headquarters. If the Boss ot the Whisky King foil inclined, there have bee all the lavorahle circumstances for tho Tweed escapade, hut "The Johnnies," ss McDonald and Joyce called, have so tar faced the music with no perceptible tlinching and without any uetermined effort to escape.

This quality in McDonald, which the undiscriminating are fond of admiring as gameness, is nothing less than unadulterated cheek. The two Johnnies, dui int the session of tbe first Grand Jury, walked the stroefs of St. Louis sublimely audacious in lying, but nothing else. Against all newspaper correspondents and witnesses daring to speak tbe truth they breathed dire destruction, yet iu all the (months tbe only man they raised their hands against was poor Lindsay Murdoch, the Southeast Missouri Collector, who, having called upon tbem in their room at ibe Planters, was set upon and nn mercifully mauled. Beyond this, the only approach to anything other than wordB in sustaining their reputation as bid men, was when Wounded Gladiator Joyce called upon a young newspaper tioin tlje South. "If lean find out who wrote a certain article," he said, "I propose to put this into him," accompanying tbe remark with a suggestive gesture, aud tbe exbibitiou of a long kuile. The journalist glanced at the keen edge, ana his reflected the glitter as be turned them on Joyce with a slight smile, and congratulated him on bis pluck. Joyce looked at his vis-a vis carefully, put up his knife, aud never made any more inquiries as to tbe authorship of tbo article in question.

People hem seem'never to get tired ot telling of Mr. McDonald's magnificent mendacity. When McDonald went betore the Grand Jury to swear to his iunocebce, tbe telegrams which haVe since become sO famous were thruBt in his face for an explanation. He coolly read them, solemnly told bis granger auditors that be had never beard of tbem before, and then carried out bis part by visiting tbe Western Union Telegraph office, and irately demanding of Manager Brown "why in b—11" tbose despatches bad never been delivered to bim.

McDonald's cbeefc, to use the vulgar but only apt designation for bis excessive mental development in this direction, reached its climax, however, vi 'D, after indictment an* just before tiial, Joe Fitzroy, the ring's middleman alter Maguire, went before tbe Grand Jury, and confessed all the details of tbe conspiracy. McDonald was standing on Olive street, between Third and Fourth, when a friend came along, and rather excitedly said,"Mack, have yon beard tbe news?" "No. What?" "Joe Fitzroy has pleaded guilty, and gone before tne Grand ury."

The gray eyes were raised with an expression of astonishment as McDonald said Blowly: "What? Joe? Wby, I raised him. Thed little cuss. To think he's been in it too. I wouldn't have believed it. Bv d, sir, I oont know who to trust." And childlike, and bland, McDonald gazed reflective ly into his friend's eyes and apparently mused upon tbe revelation or total depravity just made to bim.

g3oys, don't use slaor* We OM n.uew a youth who used slang,

aud

when be grew up he became a prize* fighter, and is now a member of the New York Legislators! Think bow mortified his poor old parents must feel.

A case of general average: "Aren't you rather old to ride for half-price?" said a car conductor to the elder of two boys. "Well." remarked tbe youth, "1 am under 14, and this boy with me is udder 9. That den't make 20, and you take two boys under 10 for half-price each." And he took 'hem.

A bright little 3-year-old in Hart ford Conn, having become a little mixed between her religions instruc tlon and h«r Borsery rhymes, gravely recites. ''The Lord is tbe suepheid, and he lost bis sheep, and don't know wbere to find bim»"

Saturday night a Detrolter com menced gating drnnkao that he oould not be u.-rtjd as a witness in a case in 'he Police Court to be tiled yesterday The man was pretty drunk 8unda\ morning, almost sober by noon, drunk again by night, and esterd» noon was just about half-and-half, just ab!e to navigate, but so befud•II wd and mixed up that, he diden't irnou- a stree' car on a switch from a white-beaded

boy

with a wart on Ills

neck. Entering a store on Woodward avenue tbe tippler arked: "eh*en Johnson' aound yere?"

What Johnson?** was asked. Sham Johnson, cor*e." "Whv, you are8am Johnson yourself." zhatso?" exclaimed tho victim, blinking wisely aud seeming much put out.

Of course it'- so. Who did you think \u wert?" "Gov'ner Case!"

W»-il' vou aren't." "zV!#i I'm Johneon, am I?" "Ye* sir." •'Sham Johnson?" "Yes

ST

"And I zhon't ,mount to much, do I?'' 'iWell, hot it great deal.',

J' st common man lit?" W- you ure about an average man." 'I he inebriate held ou to a chair and looked sorro ful, as be said: m'im sorrow, thought all time I was Mizzer Gov'ner ('ass, but if I'm Suora Johnson I won't try to put on any more style. Alucher bliged t' you Might wet' round here hull year 'thoiit out k* owing I was Sham Johnson fu hadeu't'formed me?"

W

li AN UN0KK AKE'l

(i

my 'lTFE•«.

'NIK'

VIEWS ONE.

Aud Fiuds out a Piece of tho True Inw a: dn of tho Ir^de.

Ye gloomy

Uazktteu,

(made so

changed from his customary habit of gaiety, by the number of revivals tie uas been compelled to report of late) me morning this week sought solace in laorimose dialogue with an undertaker. He wanted to know the price of cofllne iu fact be wanted to know all about the "planting" trade and he in a large measure, succeeded. Mr. Isaac ball is the pioueer in that business, in this city He come here in 1847 when he ran a furniture store with a coflln making sbop in the cellar. He would have ruined bis business to have bad the coffiins in. view when people came to buy furniture^ Every body was. afraid of coffins jn that day. Tiie real honest truth about the matter, though, was that no coffiins were k» pt on band. There was not more than one death each week, and It did not. pay to keep a stock on hand, suppose some galoot like an Expre«s or Jouanal reporter should "suffleofl1, to uikht, »n older would have been turned in three days to-morrow mofnIng for a burying oox of wonderfully large division at the lower end. Tbe carpenter would "strike out." into the back yard, "and tumble to" a lumber pile, and saw out limber onough at once to construct the box. Au active m«u could complete this task by noon, or two o'clock, at leant. It would then be plainly lined with neat muslin or, iu tbe instance of tbe aforesaid reporters with old files rf their respective sheets and the task be com* piete.

As Mr. Ball exprefses it "there wasn't mnch style in those days no varr.ishiug, or glass top's, or silver ornament", or costly binding and trim ings. The coffiins, which were ail made of hard wood, weje simply oiled aud loosly lined." Instead of com* plicated arrangements for takiug off part of the lid over the glass, tbe whole top, which was two pieces of boards, was lifted off, for the "LAST LOOK," and then screwed tightly down forever.

There has been .wonderful chnnge since then. From that slight business Mr. Ball has slowly grown until now be has from 40 to 60 funeials per mouth and employs in tbe conducting of tbem his own entire time, that of two workmen, two excellent spans of horses and two hosiers.

Iu addition to this increaseof labor which undertakers now place on their coffins, 'public taste lias also grown fastidious as to shroads. Tbe simple burying habits of ancient days have been succeeded by oostly embroidered silks the finest broad cloth and best linen.. Undertakers now kfep quite a stock of the*e goods on band as comparatively few persons are buried iu their own clothing.

CREMATION.

This idea, though a pet one with French philosophers and scientists, is yet very repulsive to a large proportion of the people of the world The idea of having the body of a dear dead friend burntd right before a man's eyes, is so horrible as not to be entertained for an instant. The lightest unkind touch to that poor lifeless prostrate form, the dead, is double insult to tbe living. Beside, it might occur to some persons that such a course would be stealing a march on his satantic majesty. It would not be fair. The meanest man in town is agreed that, we should 'give the devil his due."

Still, as long as the matter remains unsettled, the deadly miasma rising, like (he breath of pollution, from grave yards near large cities, Is werk ing but its fatal course on the living. Something must be done. The earth hitherto considered the best di inflectant known, is overtaxed in all and much used grave yardsand some* thing must be invented to partially at least do its work before buriaj. A compound has already been made which seems to accomplish In a reasonable manner this design. A piece of beefsteak was sometime ago waked in this fluid and it very toon afterward dried op to one fourth its former dimensions. Tne Justice in tbe steak seemed by this agency to have been entirely absorbed. This, or some similar and more potent»fancy may yet accomplish tbe long desire end. After looking at the woodworkers proceeding merily at their glooming task of making oofflioa

Ye gloomy Oazcttkkb withdrew.

The owner of a building on Jeftersou avenue yexteiduy goiug through it with a man who was desirous of rentini' the place for a year. The man made a mis-step aud relied down a )u:r of stairs, and as hi- got tip and rubbed his elbows and battered shins he said: "I fell down those stairs jesterlay," The landlord imui»d,a:ely rn.StdfSOO per year on the rent, explaining "Tl\e chance- aro that you'll be killed hern siid I'll be interviewed by at least five reporters. I can't interview in tliet-f tiaus for lest 1 lit*11 foiiy d( liar*. Titkc it or leave it."

The man left it.

KA11.K^A1

Item* ('nlled frmn

F.vitj

Roarer.

OAKS D11CHKD ON TliK K. A O Freight traiu No. 6, on tbe E. A C. It. It, which arrives iu this city at 5 P. M., met with an accident near Carlisle yesterd iy by which four or live cars ditched. Tbe ao^ident. otcured opposite tbe n-sidenee of Cupt. Ebrmau. Three of the rars were loaded with cotton which

whs

trans­

ferred to other cars and tb® wrecked portion of the train wus lelt iu the ditch to awail the attention of the crew of workers. Accidents are of rare oco irrance ou the E. & O. aud when they do occur, the company is always prompt in repariug damage.

IMPROVEMENTS ON THE WABASH.

Tbe Wabush company is making large expenditures in improving its road-bed. 8ever-'l lui: dred tons of new rails and 125,000 CrosB-ties have been contracted for within a few weeks past.—[Danville imeu.

THE H., 11. a h\

The bonds of the Havana, Kau» toul & Easterii Rallroud are reported to be selling at lOOctnls on thedollar.ia all places were offered. The road is now shipping corn from Bantoul, on tbe Il'iui.is Central, 32 mile East to Alvan, thence over the C. jp. & V. to Chicago, at 2 cents per hundred ponnds less than the Central charges. That looks rather encourageing for tbe narrow-gauge, as the corn i» thus hbippid 32 miles further, and the co^t of transfer addeJ, and then,the H.'R., & E. btafs the old Central 2 cwnts per hundred.

An Adroit Svintlle.

Yesterday a man who represented that bo had a loxd of wood, went lot he house of Deputy Treasury Wallace, and saying tbat be bad )ust sold a load norrs* the w«y, WHB recommended to sell the other there lie oven en me down to $1,60 so anxious WHS lie to sell. Mrs* Wallce told hiuri to unload tbe wood, and another Man drovo up with the wood, »nd begun to unload It. Mrs. Wallacsgave the flr.-t man $2.00 to have changed, and taking it in tbo direction of 8baley's grocery, he was eeen no unre. Tbe man who was un-

oli

loading tbe wood was accused of being an accomplice, but be said tbat tbe other man bad bought the wood from bim on the street, and had swindled him—[Express

THE MOST POPULAR

North & South line or

iowa TUlt

iUiriiiigtoii, edarKapidg & Hinii't

2

o1h

Ry-

PAHKHWGEIt TltAIXK BACH WAY t.'AILY, (JrUNDAYri EXUKPlJfiD Connecting with Trains from the SonLhe*ntaud Wet at

BURLIMGTOH. Ooiko North.

8:JUAI»I

7:4j pin

Accommodation li.JW fslace Hltepln* rar owned and operated by this tine, accoinpauy all night trains.

XNNKCTIONS ARE AS EOLL'JWM: AtColnmbuB Junct oi wltl Chicago A Southwestern Hallway »or Washington and Leaven woith.

At Nichols,with Muscatine Division 0. R. A M. lor Masoatlne. At West Liberty, rlth Chicago, Rook Island 4 Pacific Kailroad, for Iowa City, De* Moines and Davenport.

At Cedar Kaptdx. with Milwaukee Division of B. U. M, for Independeece, w«» Union, FostVlllS and McGrrg.r: wit* Chicago,

A

Northwestern Kailroad, for Oma­

ha, Connclt Ktlafts and Chicago, and with Dubnqne6Southwestern Railway for Dnbnqoe.

At Waterloo and Cedar Fall*, with Illinois Central Railroad tor Indep«nce, *tort Dodge, iftibnque and Slenx City.

At Nora Junction, with Muwanlcee, A 3t. P«nl Railway, for Mason City .and Charles City.

At Austin, with Milwaukee A fit. Pant Railway for all points la Minnesota. At Ht funl, for all points on Northern Pacific Rallwa'- the great Lake Superior '«ttlon, and all In In North aud Northwest. f. WXVHLOW, 0»P'1 Manager.

V. J. IVES, CMn'l Pas-. A T'k't Ag't. Cedar Ksplds, Iowa,

1876. WHERE MOW? 1876.

To MICHIGAN, one ol tbe foremost, flourishing and healthy States 1 WHAT FOR?

To buy a FARM out of tbe

ONE MILLION ACRES

of fiat Farming land! tor sale by th GttAND ItAPIDH A INDIANA R. R. Strong Bolls. Keady Markets. Hnre Crops. Good Schools. Kailroad runs through tne center of grand. Settlement* nil alQSg-

All kinds of Products raised. Plenty ol w»ter. timber and boildiiix material*. Price from $4 to 110 )«r acre oue-foortn down, balance on time.

Mr Heni for 111ns ratal pamphlet, tvlI ot lactn and figures, and bo convlnood. Add rue* W. A. HOWARD, Oorott'r,

Urai.d Rapids, Michigan.

P. L. PIERCE. Hec'j' Land Dep't.

4 BOOK FOR

AMRMI

THE MILLION.

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