The Daily Banner, Greencastle, Putnam County, 4 June 1968 — Page 4

Page 4

The Daily Banner, Greencastle, Indiana

Tuesday, June 4, 1968

On the Lighter Side

By DICK WEST WASHINGTON (UPI)— Thinking men everywhere have long recognized the need for fluctuating birthdays. We are born into this world with absolutely no control over the delivery date. Then for the rest of our lives we are stuck with that date, regardless of how inconvenient it might be. I speak of this matter from the heart for I happen to have what is undoubtedly the most

horrendous birthday in all Christendom—Dec. 26. Not only is Santa Claus a hard act to follow; not only do cheapskates append “and happy birthday, too” to Christmas cards or send a combination gift; the main drawback is fatue. Lack Stamina By the time Christmas is over, people are too pooped to enjoy a birthday party. Most of all, me.

Millions of others are similarly cursed with ill-timed birthdays and are pretty bitter about it. The frustration is made worse for its lack of remedy. If a man doesn’t like his name, he can have it legally changed. If he doesn’t like his sex, he can go to Sweden for an operation. But like it or not, one’s birthday is fixed. There is at present no legal or medical antidote for a bum

birthday. Oh, the unfairness of it all! But, soft! What light in yonder window breaks? Could it be a glimmer of hope shining forth from the U.S. Capitol? Verily; it is. There is now pending in the U.S. Senate a House-passed bill to change the observance of certain holidays so they would always be celebrated on a Monday, thus lengthening the weekend. Change George’s Birthday The important thing from the standpoint of us birthday underprivileged is the switch of Washington’s Birthday from

Feb. 22 to the third Monday in February. Do you grasp its significance? The bill’s enactment would establish a legal precedent for flexible birthdays. In other words, those of us who are trapped by poor parental planning would at last have a foundation for a redress of grievances. If the natal date of the father of our country can be shifted around for the sake of convenience, then surely that right cannot be denied to the citizenry at large. In anticipation of Senate approval, I am already making

plans to file a court petition to change my birthday to the last Friday in June. That way I will have the entire weekend to recover from the party. Chemical Caution NEW YORK <UPI> — Keep your eyes on the household chemicals you are using, says the Council on Family Health. Children can be very quick and curious. They should not be left alone even for a minute with potentially harmful substances. When you are finished using household chemicals. put them away at once, out of sight and reach of youngsters.

HHH bids in S. Dakota

By DAVID SMOTHERS PIERRE, S.D. (UPI) Running under an assumed name, Vice President Hubert H. Humphrey made his most direct bid for primary votes of the 1968 presidential campaign in his native South Dakota today. The assumed name is that of Lyndon B. Johnson. Humphrey, a late comer to the presidential race, is not on the ballot. Johnson is, along with Sen. Robert F. Kennedy who is favored to win according to pre-election polls, and Sen.

Eugene J. McCarthy, running third in the ratings but making a stretch bid. That left Humphrey, running under a shadow banner—a slate of delegates technically committed to the President but in reality pledged to him. Johnson Tag Troublesome Humphrey sought a chance to come out from behind the President’s shadow as a vote getter in his own right. But the Johnson identification could cause trouble in South Dakota. Continued on Page 5

Boneless Chuck Roast h, 59*

ECKRICH - SLENDER • 4 oz.< SLICED MEATS

BEEF TURKEY CHICKEN CORNED BEEF PORK LOIN HAM

3 1

Table Rite

ROLL SAUSAGE 2 Stark & Wetzel SMOKED SAUSAGE U. S. Choice RIB ROAST

LB.

88* 69* 89*

Boneless BEEF STEW

Extra Lean

GROUND CHUCK Boneless PORK ROAST

59* 59*

lB 59*

LB.

U. S. Choice FAMILY STEAK Boneless CLUB STEAK Lean - Meaty SHORT RIBS

LB. LB. LB.

59* 1.29* 39*

U.S. Choice

RIB STEAK

LB.

Fresh Leon GROUND BEEF

STOCKYOUR FREEZER AND SAVE! yT»r>2ErrWrooD S q sale

IGA-10 oz. CORN

IGA CHOPPED BROCCOLI 19*

IGA-10 oz. GREEN PEAS 19*

IGA-10 oi. SUCCOTASH 22*

NATURE S BEST-2 LB. FRENCH FRIES 25*

NATURE S BEST-8 oz. FISH STICKS 29*

IGA-8 oz. ONION RINGS 37*

WKKS-TWO PIE SHELLS 39*

Lean Tender PORK STEAK

LB.

Erkrich • 16 oz. SMORGAS PAC

Perfect For Lunch or Picnic

FRESH

HEAD LETTUCE

HEADS

NEW RED

POTATOES

10 79*

FRESH

GREEN PEPPERS 2/29

FLORIDA SWEET CORN

5 for 39*

FLORIDA

ORANGES

DOZEN 69*