Bloomington Telephone, Volume 14, Number 33, Bloomington, Monroe County, 11 October 1889 — Page 2

IKVVN BY THE GATK. There is dew on the ?r,s and the throstle la But the crickets are piping above on the hill; The fireflies &r lighting their lanterns, and seet There's the err lie of the moon through the boughs of he tree. And I catch the perfume of the rose as I wait For the sound of light feet tripping down to the gate, Will she coroe? will she come?" cries ahope in my heart, Till the stir of a leaf makes me tremble and start ; And I peer throt gh the dusk till my eyes are ablur With a warm mist lore that is only for her, O, the minutes drug by like the slow feet of fate As X listen and lxk for her down by the gate I

There's a step oil the path, there's a glimmer of white. And the darkness around me grows suddenly bright ; And there's no o do to see, save myself and the moon, 5his fairest of a? 1 of the roses of June. With a soft hand in yours would not yon linger late Fox another "good-night o'er the bars of the gate? Muney'i Weekly

LEE BRANDON. A Tale of the Apache Mountains.

BY UOY C. CLIFTON.

The incidents which I am about to delate occurred in the month of October, 1885. It will be re membered that daring the fall and winter of that year, the Apache Indians were unusually troublesome, and were a source of much anxiety to the ranchmen wh3 resided on the frontier of Texas, and in the eastern part of New Mexico. Gen. Crook who was at that time in command of the western division, had his hands full in trying to restore peace, and chastise the unruly redskins. The detachments of cavalry sent out under his instructions were often misled by the wily Indians, and not unfrequently lost their way among the mountains. And altogether the troops succeeded in accomplishing very little good. At the time of which I write I was traveling on horseback, accompanied by a companion, irom Fort Concho, Texas, to a mining samp in the Las Vegas mountains, in New Mexico. "We had bsen traveling for several

days, and being obliged to keep a con

stant lookout for hostile Apaches, we had been deprived of much of our accustomed sleep, and were beginning to feel fatigued and very much in need of rest On the morning of the fifth day of our journey vi e arose with the first appearance of daylight, and after a hasty breakfast of jarked venison and black coffee, saddled our ponies which were picketed near us, and once more pro ceeded on our way. I We were well up among the Apache mountains, an d the slanting beams of the rising sun falling upon crag and cedar, produced an effect which under ordinary circumstances would have been beautiful indeed. But weary and anxious as we wc re, we were in no mood then to appreciate the grandeur of the scene. Lee Brandon, the subject of this sketch, lived Mrith his lovely wife and beautiful boy, in a charming dwelling, which was picturesquely situated in the midst of a dump of cedars, on the mountain side The trail that we were following led directly past liis abode, which we hoped to reach before sunset. Having been the guest of Mr. Bran don on a former occasion, some two months before, it was with no little pleasure that I anticipated a second meeting. Little did I imagine under what distressing circumstances that second meeting was to occur. About 5 o'clock in the evening, as we wound around an angle in the mountains, we cam a in sight of the Brandon CJstle, as it was called by the mountaineers. It did not require a second glance to perceive that something unusual had happened. The smell inclosure in front of the dwelling was occupied by a squad of cavalry, who had dismounted and were seen standing in small groups, or moving about in an excited manner. As we neared the spot, I shall never forget the sight that met my vision. Beside a large rock which stood in front of his dwelling, lay the lifeless form of Lee Brandon. His body had been pierced by a dozen bullet holes, and in his nerveless fingers he grasped an empty Winchester, which plainly told the story of his heroic fight in behalf of his beloved wife and child. Only a few feet away lay little 4-year old Charlie Brandon with an ugly wound in his beautiful brow, from which still flowed a faint crimson stream, although his little heart had ceased to beat. The child's mother, who was still living when the soldiers arrived, was found half reclining against a huge boulder, terribly suffering from a knife wound in her breast. She had just sufficient strength remaining to relate the account of the brave resistence which her noble husband had maintained against overpowering numbers, when her pulse ceased to throb, and her soul took flight to join her loved ones in the better land, where strife and suffering are unknown. There was a suspicious huskiness in the voices of the soldiers whenever they spoke, and it was only by an offort of tee will that they I refrained from mutilating the dead bodies of the Indians, who had fallen by the hand of Lee Brandon, before he was finally over powered. According to the account of the attack given by lira, Brandon before she ex trired, it had beeu made about 4 o'clock in the afternoon, at which time the family were all indoors. She was amusing herself with little Charlie, and her husband was employed in cleaning a rifle with which he had been hunting deer in the morning. Glancing out through the open window, Mr. Brandon was startled on see ing a score of Indians rapidly Bearing his dwelling, and apparently without any attempt to disguise their approach. Knowing that a visit from the Apaches at thai time boded ne good he at once

prepared to defend his home, and if possible to protect his wife and child from the fate he knew must befall them, in case they fell into tbe hands of the Indians. Seizing his Winchester, he grasped his boy in his arms, and calling to his wife to follow, he ran into the inclosure in front of his dwelling, where a huge boulder offered a sort of natural defence. Placing his wife and boy in the shelter of the rock, Mr. Brandon at once opened fire upon the redskins, who by this time had approached to within a few yards of the rocky breastwork behind which he lay concealed. The further approach of the savages

was checked for a time, by the rapid and deadly fire which was poured into their ranks from a rifle in the hands of one who knew that everything which was dear t? him depended upon his exertions. In order to dislodge Mr. Brandon, the Indians must retreat a considerable distance, and approach from an opposite direction. In view of this the mountaineer still hoped to hold the Apaches at bay until help might arrive. In this hope he was doomed to disappointment. The cunning savages had already retired undV r cover, and were cautiously, but quick! y circling around in order gain a moi3 favorable position. At this juncture tho small supply i ammunition which Mr. Brandon in ha haste had brought, began to fail, an 3 his brave wife, disregarding the danger of such an undertaking, ran to the cast1 b to procure a fresh supply. She secured a- box of cartridges an J was returning to her husband, when si; e was horrified to see him fall with th b blood flowing from a bullet hole in h forehead. The sight made Jier sick at hear?; but her mother love still sustained hev,

and she sprang forward to seize hr child. As she did so a brawny savage sprang from behind an adjacent rod;, and clutching her by the throat, burial his knife in her breast. Human nature could no longer endure, and with a stifled cry she swooned away. When she again regained concsiousness she was surrounded by the pitying faces of a squad of blue-clad soldiers. She glancod abaut in a mystified way for an instant, and then eagerly inquired for her husband and child. As she did so, her glance fell upon Iheir lifeless forms, and the kind-hearted soldiers

seeing that any attempt to evade her question would be cruel as well as useless, told her the sad truth. She received the sorrowful intelligence with a calmness that was pitiful, and only replied that she too was ready to die. A slight shudder shook her form an instant and that gentle sorrowing heart gave one or two convulsive hrobs and then ceased forever. The troops had arrived too late to be

of any avail, except to save the dead bodies from the mutilation they would have otherwise received at the hands of the savages. I The soldiers took charge of the bodies ' which were buried beneath the shade of the cedars, near their lovelv rnoun- -tain home, where but a short time be- ! fore all had been peace and happiness. I Such is the mutability of our f utures ! and the uncertainty of life! That night as I tossed about on my blankets, for I scarcely slept the whole night, my thoughts went back to my former visit to Brandon Castle, when . everything had been so different. My first visit to the castle was on an ' errand of business relating to the shipment of stock in which Mr. Brandon was interested. He and bis wife were both highly cultured and of refined tastes. They had but two years previous immigrated from Cincinnati, and seemed out of place among the rough mountaineers around them. Although but thirty years of age, and his wife but twenty-three, Lee Brandon had at one time possessed a largo fortune. But having lost the greater portion of it in an unlucky speculation, he had come west in hopes of repairing his loss. His mountain home still contained some of the marks of his former prosperity, and in point of lovliness it rivaled Blenerhasset's beautiful islan retreat, before the withering influence;' of Aaron Burr had turned that Garden of Eden into a desert. On the walls of the Brandon Castls hung costly pictures; the shelves of tho book case contained a limited selection of choice works of poetry and science, and everything about the dwelling bespoke the cultured tastes of the occupants. So entertaining was my host that 1 very readily accepted his invitation to remain his guest until the following day. After eating a hearty supper, Mr. Brandon and myself seated ourselves upon a rustic bench, beneath a large cedar tree in front of the castle, and while smoking our cigars discussed upan topics in which we were both interested. Mrs. Brandon was busying herse.lt about the house, and little blue-eyed Charlie was playing with a beautiful hound near the bench upon which we sat. I thought that I had never before seen so happy and so interesting a family. But now everything was sc changed! As I lay thus busily engaged .

with those sad recollections, the til very moon shone down upon me in its fullest splendor, as if in mockery of ray anguish. The wind moaning through the pines filled me with dismal forbidings and while contemplating the terible calamity which in one short hour had ended the promising career of this gifted family, I was enabled to fully appreciate the fiendish cruelty of savage warfare, which regards neither age noj sex. And I fervently thanked God that such scenes as I have described are seldom witnessed, and prayed that 1 might never again have a similar ex perience. It is always safe to learn even from our eaemie seldom Hate to venture to instruct even our friends.

A carpenter would be handy in a barber shop, especially the one who is a good lather.

Getting Home, Now that the season of summer outing is over, the thoughts of mankind and womankind turn toward home. No more swinging in rrazy hiimdiocks. No more lingering by the sad t:ea waves, watching tho shadows come and go, and scrutinizing the distant ships through a field-glass, and remarking on throng ankles and knotty toes of the bathers more smell of ancient mackerel and bleaching clam-shells at least, nob this year. Tho man who has been fishing goes back to town to astonish the mUives with his tales of such fish as the sea never yet saw; and the man who has been yachting has his story of the seaserpent to tell ;v and the young ladies who came for conquests, have their tales of sighing and ubdued swains to relate to their less fortunate stay-at-home sisters. The masculine head of the family viho has remained at homo "to take care of the house," and who has been the object, of so much sympathy from his family, hastens to get his champagne bot

tles and cigar stumps out of the house, before his wife gets there, j He has beeu having glorious times with the bovs all summer, but he knows that now his day of grace is over, and he must settle down to the hum-drum, married man business once more. No more trips to Coney Island on a Sunday; no more charming little sails down the sound; no more rollicking drives on a tally-ho coach out into flie suburbs by moonlight, with a supper and dance afterward. His vacation is ovev. Now he will have to go to church regularly every Sabbath, and put money in the contribution box, aud strive manfully to keep awake while the zealous divine paints the future state of the careless scoffer. The woman who has been out of town for the summer, braces herself for the campaign before her. She must see to the pickles aud the preserves; look after the bed blankets and furs, and see that the moths have not put in any business while she has beeu away; she must study the fashion-hooks, and find out how they are making sleeves, and if anybody does really cling to the bustle still; aud she must make over that blue cashmere; and her hornet is really shabby ; and she needs new gloves and boots, and all the children need new shoes, aud school will soon begin ; and that dreadful country aunt is coming down to do some ''trading;" and what will they do with her now that young Fi-2 liobinson is really attentive to AnneUa Marie? It would forever ruin the dear child's

prospects with Fitz if he should once j

get a sight of Aunt Maria, aud hear her talk about the price of butter at Todd's Corner, and the string-beans and huckleberries that she has sold this yar. But it is good to get home. The beds feel natural ; the daily paper gets around on time; the rattle of the milk wagons is a sweetly familiar sound; the half -starved cat, which has been left to the tender mercies of the man who has seen after the house, comes in and purrs a welcome and a plea for something to eat; friends call and talk over the gossip of the neighborhood the deaths, marriages, and divorces, and the cases where men have eloped with other men's wives; and, really, it is nice to get home. Now, isn't it? Kate Thorn, in New York IVeekhj. Saved by Instinct. The effect of earthquakes upon animals is recorded in all accounts of these disastrous disturbances. Fish also are frequently affected. In the London earthquake of 1749, roach and other lish in a canal showed evident signs of coufusion and fright; and sometimes alter an earthquake, lish rise to the surface dead and dying. During the Tokio earthquake of 1880, cats inside a house ran about trying to escape, foxes barked, and horses tried to kick down the boards confining them to their stables. There can, therefore, be no doubt that animal know something unusual and terrifying is taking place. More interesting than these are the observations showing that animals are agitated just before an earthquake. Ponies have been known to prance about their stalls, pheasants to scream, and frogs to cease croaking suddenly a little time before a shock, as if aware of its coming. The Japanese say that moles show their agitation by burrowing. Geese, pigs, and dogs appear particularly sensitive in this respect. Some time after the great Calabrian earthquake it is said that neighing of a horse, the braying of an ass, or the cackle of a goose was sufficient to cause the inhabitants to fly from their houses in expectation os a shock. Many birds are said to show uneasiness before an earthquake by hiding their heads under their wings and behaving in au unusual manner. In South America, certain quadrupeds, such as dogs, cats, and jerboas, are believed by the people to give warning of coming danger by their restlessness; sometimes immense Hocks of sea-birds fly inland before an earthquake, as if alarmed by the commencement of some sub-oceanic disturbance. Before the shock of 1835 in Chili all the dogs are said to' have escaped from the city of Talcahuauo. The explanation of this apparent prescience is that animals are sensative to the small tremors which precede nearly all earthquakes. With Babylon's Secret. Prof. H. V. Hilprecht, one of tho Babylonian expedition sent out by the University is back in Philadelphia, and has brought with him a big collection of antiquities which the expedition succeeded in digging up way off there by the historic Euphrates. In the ruins of a temple in Niffer, between two bricks in the wall, the explorers found a duck egg that had been laid there while the temple was building, at least 1,000 years before Christ, They passed through Babylon several

times, and the Professor says that what j

is held to be the remains of the tower !

of Babel is 180 feet high even now. Some of the walls are still standing. The bricks at the top bear theatamp: "I am King Nebuchadnezzar. 99 The bread that was baked by the explorers by the Arab women was prepared the same way that it has been done there for thousands of years. The orn was ground by the women. They

placed it between two Hat stones and moved them about until the corn was a very dirty -looking Hour. This they mixed with water and baked in small cakes. Bagdad, the glory of the Caliphs. Prof. Hilprecht says, is an extremely dirty city of about i80,000 inhabitants, according to the Turks. The street are from six to eight feet wide and filled with dogs and beggars. He met a young man there, an Alsatiau, who came to Bagdad to study the language and cusfoms of the people, lie was rich and had a carnage sent him from Europe. The streets wore so narrow, however, that he could not use it in the town, and so he had to house it outside the city limits. Phihulelphia Press. What Inventive Genius Has Done. In the manufacture of boots and shoos the work of 500 operatives is now done bv 100. In making bread boxes three workers can do the work of thirteen box-makers bv old methods. In cutting out clothing and cloth caps with dies one worker does the work of three by old methods. In leather manufacture modern methods have reduced the necessary number of workers from 5 to 50 per cent. A carpet measuring and brushing machine with one operator will do the work of fifteen men by the old methods. In the manufacture of flour modern improvements save 75 per cent, of the manual labor that once was necessary. In making tin cans one man and a boy with modern appliance can do tho work of ten workers by the old process. By the use of coal-mining machines 160 miners in a month can mine as much coal in the same time as 500 miners by the old methods. One hoy by machinery in turning wood-work and materials for musical instruments performs the work of twenty-five men by the old methods. The h rso power of steam used in the United States on railways, steamers, and in factories and mines was in 1888 12,100,000 against 1,610,000 in 1850. In the manufacture of brick improved devices save one-tenth of the labor, and in the manufacture of fire brick 40 per cent, of the manual labor is displaced. In stave- dressing, twelve co-laborers with a machine can dress 12,000 staves in the same time that the same number of workers by hand could dress 2,500 staves. In nailing on shoe heels, one worker and a boy, with machinery, can heel 300 pair of shoes per day. It would require five workers to do the same by

band. In the manufacture of carriages it used to take one man thirtv-tive davs to make a carriage. It is now made by the aid of machinery, with the work of one man in twelve days. In the cotton mills in the United

States, the manual labor has been reduced about fifty per cent. Now one weaver manages from two to ten looms, where one loom was formerly tended by one worker. Toledo Blade. The Deceptive Handbag "Would you mind going in Silk & Satteen's store with me a tew moment's, dear?" asked Mrs. Younglove sweetly of her husband, the other afternoon after they had started out for a half holiday; "I just want to get a few little things only what I cuu carry in my handbag." The handbag was such a flat, diminutive affair, seemingly capable of holding a very little, that Younglove cheerfully complied with his wife's request. When they emerged from the store two hours and a half later the handbag contained: Two yads orange ribbon, 1 yard dress lining, 4 yards Torchon lace, 1 card hooks and eyes, 3 spools sewing silk, 1 spool twist, one spool basting thread, 1 card pearl buttons, 3 yards cardinal ribbon, 3 handkerchiefs, 1 pair kid gloves, 1 yard tulle, i yard nainsook, 2 pairs hose, 2 papers of pins, 1 cut-steel buckle, 1 yark watered ribbon, 3 fancy-work ornaments, d skein embroidery silk, 1 pair dress shields, 2 yards Hamburg, 1 yard insertion, 1 box button fasteners, 1 box hair pins, 1 pair hosiery supporters, 1 hair net. "There, dear," said Mrs. Younglove, sweetly, as they came out; "you see, I kept my word, and got only what I could carry iu my handbag. You were a dear, good boy, to go m with me at all, and I wouldn't have asked you if I'd been on a regular shopping round; I know how men dislike shopping. " Z9 !., in Puck. Came, Saw, Conquered. An older romance that has the charm of fiction about it is told of Mrs. Willie K. Vanderbilt, says a Saratoga correspondent of the Philadelphia Times.' She was here, after her father had lost his money, with some friends, wiien the announcement that the rich son of William Vanderbilt would arrive that evening was made. Of gowns hhe had but few and most of them had been worn and she did think that she could make an impression on any man if only she had a frock to wear. One of her friends volunteered to lend her a yellow silk. With great delight it was ao cepted, but the beauty's eyes filled with tears and her lips quivered with disappointment when she discovered that on one side of the bodice and far down on the skirt extended a wine stain. Bui was this to daint a Southern girl? Certainly not. When the time came and. the gown was put on, she took a black lace shawl, that by some mistake had been put among her things, draped it about her in Spanish fashion, fastening it on the head and on one shoulder with amber pins. iAn admirer had sent her a bunch of yellow roses, and with these and her black fan her costume was complete. She came, she saw, and she conquered. The wicked friend never forgave her her success in (hiding the defects of the gown or the lovely picture she presented when she stood before Mr. Vanderbilt, and the lookers-on could read the admiration in his eyes. I don't know whether this story is true or not; it was told me and vouched for, and I like to think that, Cinderella like, the maid of the nineteenth century can, if nhe will, find her prince. The song-aiubdance man doesn't m :inxt being clogged in hi movements.

Michael O'Brlon. Nearly thirty years age throe business men of Oharl&stown, Mass., shared the expense of building one of the finest blocks in that city. Among the workmen employed by them vas a hod-carrier, Michael O'Brion, whom the casual looker-on would possibly not have remarked as differing Iron his fellowlaborers. One of the three parteners, who spent much of hi time on the premises, superintending the building,' remarked one day to his associate, as' Michael passed them w ith his hod of bricks : "There goes a young fellow who'll some time be more than ji hod-carrier. 99 "What makes you think so?" one of them asked, "Oh, he keeps his eyes and ears open, replied the first speaker. "I've noticed he spends most of his nooning studying the masons' work instead of loafing with tho other men. I've seen him handling the trowel and the bricks, imitating the motions of the brick-layers. He's picking up the trade." A few days later one of the bricklayers was taken sick. It was during the busiest building season, and it was found impossible just then to fill his place. At neon Michael approached the foreman and said, respectfully, "If yeplaze, sorr, I think I could lay bricks." "You never did such work, did you?" the foreman asked, shortly. "No, sorr," answered the young Irishman, "but I've watched the men, till I think I couid." "Pshaw !" said the foreman, "watching and doing are different things. Keep to your hod-carrying." The observant partner chanced to overhear this conversation, and as Michael was turning away after the rebuff, he said to the foreman, "Let the fellow try it. I believe he can do it." "Just as you say, sir," the foreman answered. "Here, Mike," he called, "I am willing that you should try your hand; so go ahead." CT Thank ye, sor!" said Michael, an' I'll do me best." At the close of the day's work, the foreman said to him, "Well, Mike, you can lay bricks again to-morrow." "All right, sorr!" answered the young man, plleased and proud at his success.

"I'll never cany a hod again," ho said to himself. Duriug the next few weeks Michael gathered information on all sides. He borrowed a book on the subject and laboriously studied evenings, spelling out the words. He asked questions of the builders, who were nothing loath to impart what they knev to the pleasant yout.g Irishman. Ten years Jater Michael O'Brion was a master-builder; aud to-day he is the owner of that very block where he began as hod-carrier and ended as a mason.

Tha.t Irishman is a self-made man," his former employer said to the writer. "He's made his success by study and attention to what was going on about him, and by his courage and industry. He's had he lp from nobody, but he was ready for his opportunity when it came. And the more emigrants of his sort that come to this .country, the better off the country wiLl be." The Useful Lemon. Lemonade made from the juice of the lemon is one of the best and safest drinks for any person, whether in health or not. It is suitable for all stomach diseases, excellent in sickness, in cases of jaundice, gravel, liver complaint, inflammation of the bowels, and fevers. It is a specific against worms and skin complaints. The pippin crushed may be used with sugar and water and taken as a drink. Lemon juice is the best antiscorbutic remedy known. It not only cures the disease but prevents it. Sailors make daily use of it for this purpose. We advise every one to rub their gums with lemon juice to keep them in a healthy condition. The hands and nails are also kept clean, white, soft, and supple by the daily use of lemon instead of soap-. It also prevents chilblains. Lemon is used in intermittent fevers, mixed with strong, hot, black coffee without sugar. Neuralgia, it is said, may be cured by rubbing the parts affected with a cut lemon. It is valuable also to cure wTarts. It will remove dandruff by ;rubbing the roots of the hair with it. It will alleviate aud finally cure coughs and colds and heal diseased lungs, if taken hot on going to bed at night. Its uses are manifold, and the more we employ it internally the better we shall find ourselves A doctor in Rome is trying it experimentally in malarial fevers with great success, and think that it will in time supercede quinine. Rehoboth Herald.

Before He was "Bishop" Oberly They say that when-Mr. John H. Oberly, the "Bishop," was a younger man than he is nov he was an irrepressible joker. A member of the Jefferson Club, who claims to know what he is talking about, tells us that John was born at just 1 o'clock in the morning and relates the following circumstances concerning the twenty-first anniversary of that event: Tho entire household was asleep, excepting, i presumably, young Oberly. At a few minutes after 1 o'clock he went to the door of each bedroom and with feigned cautiousness aroused the sleeper saying: "There's a man in the house." Presently everybody was up and half dressed. Some Ventured out Hinto the halls, arid others stood timidly iu their half-open doorways, while still others remained out of sight behind locked oors. "Come out here," sard John to those who had not left their rooms; I tell you there's a man in the house." Finally he succeeded iu getting everybody into the hall, where the group stood half afraid, half ashamed to show fear. "Where is he?" said one. "Here I am," answered John; "I am a man. I was twenty-one fifteen minutes ago." Washington PosU Death Closed the Book. The great-hearted liberality of poor Prank Blain, of the Inier-Occan., who Jied recently at his home in Hyde Park, was demonstrated in a final request which he made. During his newspaper career he wrote a great deal about poli

ties and politicians, aud he kept a close

( watch on the records of men in political

are. In bia desk he kept a huge rarbook in which he pasted clippings frono papers published all over the country. Just before he died, and when he knew he must go, he called his lawyer to his bedside and said: "Somewhere at the office you will find a big scrap-book be longing to me. It contains all the unkind things I have read about politicians. I wanted their worst records at hand for reference in my work. Now when you find that book I want you to destroy it. I don't want such a book to live after me. It might hurt some one. After Blain's death the request was faithfully carried out. The big book was found aud consigned to the furnace in accordance with his wish Chicago Herald. AnAbscenee of Cheer. His pantaloons were poked in his boot-legs and the heels of the boots tapered at the ends to the proportions of a billiard cue. He wore on his head a wide-brimmed hat, his face was hidden behind a beard of a week's growth and his hair was ragged and unpresentable. But he was no slouch, if his appearances made him look like one. With a dash and the least bit of exasperation illuminating his eyes, he rushed up to the desk of the Midland last night, and, bringing his hand down with a thump, howled; "You 'ere fellers be not stuck on my trade, be's ye?" The affable clerk, after recovering his breath, meekly replied that the hotel was run for the accommodation of tho traveling public, and that any insubordination on the part of the employes meant prompt dismissal for the erring one. "Then that ar' being the case, treat me decent," snapped the wild Westerner. "I own 5,000 acres of as good land in Arizona as a bullock ever chawed grass from, audi have 10,000 head of 'em. "I've been monkeying 'round this 'ear tavern starving all day, aud I have not heard the gong ring for chuck. Besides, I writ my name down when I came in,and you're fellers ain't got sense enough to give me a bed. Out our way when a stranger goes to a tavern the landlord invites him to take a drink, steers him to the chuck room and sees him to bed. There's no cheer here, nohow, and I guess I'll hunt up another ranch." He squirted a stream of tobacco juice on the marble floor and vanished. Katisas City Times.

Not a Success as an Office Boy. When Mr. Hifiire hired an office boy one day last week, he took occasion to give the young man some instructions. " Johnny," said he, "in particular I want to impress on your mind the fact that you are never to let any peddlers or book agents into the office under any consideration. Be sure you obey my orders, Johnny, for you know that a strict obedience to orders is the first essential in the making of a good soldier, Johnny, and if you start out iu life with that determination you may become a great general, perhaps." Two days after, Johnny came to his employer with the proud consciousness of duty performed shining in his eyes. "I fired a book agent this morning while you were busy," said he. "I had a purty hard time of it, but I got there just the same." u That's right, Jonny, you obey orders like a little soldier. Was he a very big fellow, Johnny?" "It wasn't a feller at all. It was a young woman about eighteen years old, with yaller hair and big blue eyes." "Johnny, said the old man in a tone slightly shaded with sorrow, "you are all right for a soldier, but I'm dinged if you ain't got considerable to learn before you will be a success as an office boy." Terra Haute Express. Camille. There hasn't been a Camille revival on the stage for some time, and it is just as well. Her's was a vulgar life with all its glitter and glare, and she simply a bad woman who makes a business of catching fools. Her death is the natural result of her dissipations, and that she was robbed at last by her companions in sin seems but a natural consequence. Her professed devotion to Arm and is accepted as a fact, because the scene is laid in Paris, where things are done bo differently from what they are here, you know. It is very impressive "and deeply affecting, and women leave the theater with eyes red from weeping. There is a deep moral somewhere in Camille and plays of that ilk if you can only find it ouk Perhaps it is that women of the town should be careful

and not lose their hearts to young niea whom they have laid their snares to fleece. Or perhaps it is that they must not weakly yield to the entreaties of an aged father and fly from a lover whe has means. Or is it au admonition to conceal their money and jewelry from their female associates when they recognize premonitions of approaching illness ? Anyhow, we are sure there is a moral somewhere, Texas Sif tings. Finding the Nile Sources It facilitates research very greatly to learn where not to look for anything which we wish to find. The scientific world must be deeply indebted to the Boer of South Africa, who demonstrates the folly of looking for the souroes of the Nile south of the equator. "They are spending no end of money to find out the source of the Nile, and 1 actually send people into Africa south of the equator to discover its source. "Well, is not the world round?" Taking an orange to illustrate the matter, and drawing a line round the center of it, the man said : "Here is the equator. You see where the equator is, don't you ? Well, the foils expect to find that the Nile rises on this Hide of it; but how on earth can men with common sense believe that water will run uphill? Well, thee Englanders are the greatest fools; what say you?" They all agreed with him. The large proportion of sins committed ngaiiist the laws of right are done without reflection, and many of them are bitterly repented uf toe late.