Bloomington Telephone, Volume 14, Number 24, Bloomington, Monroe County, 9 August 1889 — Page 3

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Bloomington Telephone BLOOMINGTON. INDIANA,

WALTER a BRADFUTE, - - PuBUsna V

A city man lost a twenty-dollar gold piece while oa the way to bis office, and on his way home found the coin on the pavement, where it had lain unnoticed all day. Of the street accidents in Chicago caused by reckless driving the ice wagons are resixmsible for the greater share, while the batcher cart plays second to even the baker wagons. These is a fear in England now that royalty begins to mate with its subjects that it may be anxious to wed American brides. It would show the same good taste evinced by the English peers. Is Warasdin, Croatia, a mother of 117 rears gave awav her maiden daughter of eighty-three to a tramway conductor of forty-six. The elder lady of the two was in ecstacy of delight at having lived to see her child married. M. Cbaxpel, one of DeBrazza's assistants in the French Congo territory, has brought to Paris a young black woman, daughter of a chief of the M'fang tribe, who was presented to him as a wife on one of his exvioring expeditions, Thk United States, even when all the vessels now provided for are constructed, will nf. 1 1 fi-V n Inrrro TiftVTT lvn. if. will

.have a hijhiy efacfrw1 sag j6fauie

Tiie-cttuiitry has been able to tafee advantage ol all the improvements and avoid all the errors made in war ships abroad. "Nothing," writes Edmund Yates, is more charming than to see the Prince of Wales with Queen Victoria; his manner is so tender, deferential and affectionate, and he watches ever her with such care, attending her every want, and suggesting anything which he thinks will please her.7 Before the Isthmus of Suez was pierced by the canal there were almost no sharks in the Mediterranean, the passsge through the Straits of Gibraltar not being to their liking. Now, however, they come in Vy "way of the canal, and in such numbers that in more than one watering-place, and especially on the Adriatic, the sign ha3 gone up "Beware of Sharks.

he ceased smoking. Of it he says; "Tobacco, in my opinion, together with alcohol, is the most formidable enemy of intelligence." Augier and Feuillet,

Dumas declaims, have almost died of

smoking. Taine smokes cigarettes and says it is a bad habit. Zola says he left off smoking some years ago on the advice of a physician, and adds: "Perfection is eo dull a thing that I often regret having cured myself of smoking." Here is an illustration of the wonderful intelligence of some dogs: The dog's owner and he were in the readingroom of a hotel in Scranton., Pa., one day, when the dog strode in and lay down on the carpet. "I won't mention his name or make any motions," said the landlord to his boarder, referring to his dog, but I'll say something to you in an ordinary tone and see if he will notice ifc." Then the landlord added: "I think his place is behind the desk, in front of the safe, instead of in this room.5 The dog seemed to pay no attention to what had been tiaid, but he got up right away, walked slowly through the long hall, pushed the gate open back of the desk, and lay down m front of the safe.

MARRIED W03J.EN.

Home ou

We read about 1,000.000 bushels of wheat, but few people realize what a vast amount it is. But if l,00C,tXX) bushels of wheat were loaded on freight cars, 500 bushels in a car, it would till a train fifteen miies long. If transported by wagons the line of teams would be 12 miles longv Aadyet we consume and export more than 400,000,000 of bushels of wheat annually. The celebrated Kong Mountains of Africa are about to follow the Mountains of the Moon, which have been expunged from the map. These mountains ti ere supposed to be stretched across Africa for ten degrees of longitude about two hundred miles north of the Gulf of Guinea. Captain Binger, who has now returned from nearly two years' explorations in the almost unknown region north of the Gulf of Guinea, says there is no such range as the Kong Mountains. The American girls who marry lords are commonly supposed to owe their conquests to coin. Miss Caroline Fitzgerald, of New York, who is engaged to Lord Edward Fitzmaurice, has other claims to distinction. She is a classical scholar and a linguist, a student of Sanskirt, a member of the Oriental Society, and a poetess besides. Add to all this that she is only twenty-one and an heiress in her own right, and it is no wonder that the younger brother of the Viceroy of India succumbed. Bt comparing modern skulls with those of the same race in an old monastery in the Kedron valley, Dr. Dight, of the American College of Beirut, Syria, has shown that thirteen centuries have added two inches to the circumference and three and a half cubic inches to the capacity of the Caucasian skull. The brain has developed in the parts pre siding over the moral and intellectual functions, growing higher and longer, without increase of the lower portions, which give breadth to the head and in which the selfish propensities are centered. Mss. Elizabeth Cady Stanton retains a wonderful amount of vitality after a long life of activity as the leading champion of female suffrage in the United States. Mrs. Stanton is in the seventy-fourth yeaSr of her age, and it is just about half a century since she first became an advocate of "woman's rights." She and Miss Susan B. Anthony have worked together for the greater part of that time. Up to this period of life she keeps the countenance that has become familiar to millions of people all over the country; but she is not now to be seen on the pIaeorm as in former years. Concern en a the use oi tobacco a French writer has thus gathered the opinions of various of his literary countrymen. M. Dumas found that tobacco after a while made him giddy, the giddynees disappearing six months after

The anti-Jew crusade at Berlin has passed its zenith and is slowly subsiding, quite to the advantage of civilization and to the honor of the young Einperor. The court preacher, Stooker, who has been the soul and life of the movement, is an arrant agitator, wh has been rebuffed none too soon. No meaner, less excusable persecution disgraces the Dark Ages than the persecution of the Semitic stock in this close

S&-4scnturv of book aoniiaeitliiJ

ture. Of course, some hot-headed excitement, is to be always looked for in the centers of agitation, but to murder Jews is a sport of passion we may hope will not be indulged again so long as the world stands. To crucify the spirit of Jesus is worse than to crucify His body. The Scientific American tells u? that sugar, for centuries after its introduction, was used only medicinally. Even in the tenth century it seems to have been unknown as an article of diet. But the same was true of ardent spirits. Alcohol in no form was used as a drink in the Middle Ages. Our foods and drinks of to-day are almost altogether recent inventions and discoveries. Our fruits are new, or so greatly improved as to be unrecognizable: and the same is true of our vegetables. Potatoes acd tomatoes came into gene ral use at a very recent date. Thp probabilities are that another $entury will place on our tables a great; deal of food produced directly in th 3 laboratory, as sugar is, and not a product of natural growth. Human life is estimated to have lengthened 25 per cent, during the In -t half century. "The average human life in Borne, under Coasar, was eighteen years," says Dr. Todd, of Georgia; "now it is forty. The average in France fifty years ago was twenty-eight; the mean duration in 1887 was forty-five and onehalf years. In Geneva during the thirteenth century a generation played its part upon the stage and disappeared in fourteen yean;; now the drama requires forty years before the curtain falls. During the golden reign of good Queen Bess, in London and all the large cities, of merry old England, fifty out of every 1,000 paid the last debt to nature yearly, which means, instead of three score and ten, they averaged but one score. Now, in the city of London, the average is forty-seven years."

The Duke of Portland, while he was merely Mr. Bentinck, incurred some debts of honor which he desired to pay. He went to a money-lender, but the Jew at first was not inclined to let him have the money on easy terms. "The Duke of Portland may live twenty years; you may die in the meantime' said the Hebrew, Mr. Bentinck could not deny this, and was ready to give liberal interest. "I will tell you what I will do," said the Jew; "you will give me your word that when you become Duke cf Portland you will pay me 10,000, and I will give you 1,000 now." The Duke closed with the offer, and a few Aveeks after the Duke of Portland died, the new Duke remembered his bargain. Ke instructed his agent to pay 10,000 in spite of the remonstrances of his lawyer, who insisted that a promise so extravagant was not binding.

Warranted to Wear. Joblot See here, Isaacs, I thought you said you would warrant those trousers to wear. Isaacs So I did. Joblot Well, look at them, Pve only worn them two weeks and you can see through the cloth. Isaacs I warranted them to wear; didn't I? Joblot Of course vou did. Isaacs Vull, ain't dey worn? Wots der madder mit you ? Chicago America. What It Is Now. "What was it," asked the Sundayschool teacher, "that first caused the downfall of man ?n 'The forbidden fruit," replied the class in concert, "That's right." "And now what kind of fruit was it?" There was a silent pause, and then offspring of a newspaper funny man spoke up : "I don't know what it was then, but it's a chestnut now." Merchant Trav ela

AtvW' in hv Whj of II un

burn! Training It is a somewhat startling truth that if the man who loves his wife will i ot admire her she will l)nd one that with Perhaps she is not brautiful, hut tho woman never lived who was not gratiiio I by n compliment to her person tendered by graceful word or implied by hor.uigi in a glance. Men often pooh-pooh as silly weakness or vaniiy what is really part of the strong contrast in men:al character which links tho se:;is in niatyi. etio aliiuity. Her lovo of dress is but one phase of her higher nature in appreciation of tho beautiful and harmonious in color. Some women are so exquisitely attuned that to simply look at a pansy or a rose is to t h ril i their whole being as with chords of a harp, A woman thrives on admiration. Without it tho springs in her nature norish fretfulness and frowns; the homely woman becomes homelier through the neglect to water the flower in her heart. Why should not the husband be alwavs thelovor? May it not be traced to lack of proper study of the relationship? Women often fail to hold their husband's devotion by too complete tself-surreiider. Their very excess of love and seli-sacriiico defeats their aira. A woman should study the opposite sex. A woman is governed through her emotion to a certain extent, a man through his senses. Her affections are deeper, quieter and more constant. His are turb dent, less deep seated and more easily influenced by passion. A woman's influence over a man is measured by her personal magnetism. If she fails to hold her husband's loyal love, she has either yielded herself too entirely, or failed in other ways to charm his senses, either physical or spiritual, or both. A pretty ankle on the street wiill catch the admiring gaze of a benedict who daily

a prettier one at home The nov-

el tyajd charm suggested by a stranger spices iluss9K23s appeals to his ini agination. A "wife Las a rival in every

other woman. If sho.be a fool she will become jealous and shov.' it. If she be a sensible woman she besieges the fort with the same weapons the legitimate arts of her sex. Wives make themselves too cheap. What men command as a right or come to regard as a matter of course, they soon learn to place a low estimate upon. Woman rules over the heart and desire of man by divine right. She is the queen of civilization before whom all mankind bend the knee in homage when com pelled. To grant as a favor what she really desires to give is an art which once attained makes woman mistress of the field, The subtlety of the sex exerted on these lines makes every wife largely the fashioner of her cwn domestic paradise or hell, just as she mav wisely or unwieelv use the knowledge. True marriage is yet a far-off ideal. Few grasp its hidden meaning, and fewer still have will and courage to develop all that may be gained in human happiness by striving to approximate the true ideal.

I has not the man to flinch from hi shave

of climbing, found rest and refreshment in tho Valley of Humiliation, audi would be a poor vie w of life whic valued nothing that was not gain. id by the :v;at of our brow. Lot iiff -end ever so steadily upward in its moral and spiritual aspects, and intellectual labor bo ever so strenuously directed toward higher and higher levels of attainment, still the re will be in tho outward life pauses from all activity, and weloine and gentle relaxation of effort, when our wisdom is to sit still, and receive the riches which flow into our souls from above. Hard woA is, no donb. a euro fo..' many evils, and the taste for it a most excellent one to acquire if wo can, but not to be able to

abstain from it fcr a time, nt to have

any idea of enjoyment without it, is a miserable slavery and blindness. Sat urdag Review.

HINDOO WOMEN.

Lawns and Lawn Mowers. A large proportion of the lawns in city, village and country are deteriorating, and close examination shows the turf to be thin, the desirable grasses weak, browning quickly under drought; and hot sun, while coarse, unsightly plants creep in and retain a foothold. The beauty of the lawn diminishes with ago in spite of liberal fertilizing and close and regular cutting. What is the reason? Mainly, it is the excessive use of the modern lawn mower. In nearly every locality may be found pasture lands long set with grasses tine ar.d rich, holding color well under midsummer sun and drought, with a thick, elastic turf, through which no color of soil can be seen the very perfection of a lawn if it were trimmed close and even. Why doe s the pasture flourish through a score of yexrs and the lawn decay? Simply because the pasture is kept nearly under natural conditions and the lawn is subjected to an inteuso dwarfing system. Suppose the lawn is newly made, according to the best instructions, the soil deeply dug, enriched and made clean and fine, the seed sown and the grass plants show thick and strong. What next? The lawn mower two or three times a week until growth stops in autumn. Next spring the grass makes a renewed struggle for existence, starts early and strong again. It lifts it. blades to the sun and air that it may push its roots into the rich soil for moisture and sustenance. The effort is promptly met by the lawn mower. Growth is checked above, and under ground ; so through an entire season and succeeding years. The law is that the root growth of the plant is in proportion to its top growth ; the root growth is slaullow. Of. what avail is a deep, rich soil? Is it a wonder that the lawn browns earlv and that coarse hardy . plants get a foothold? Give the grass plant a chance to make adequate root growth if you would have and kee) a good lawn. Read the lesson of the pasture lands. Encourage it a little in early spring, a:ad in the autumn lay the lawn mower away early and let a thick strong growth of grass be the winter protection of the lawn. American Agriculturist. Up or Down. Up-hill work, both literally and figuratively, means work in two directions at once; literally, it is going forward while we raise our own weight ; figuratively, it is doing things and learning how to da them at the same time; thus lifting ourselves on to a higher platform of moral or intellectual being, There is always in some sense an ascending slope before us, which we may cale i': wo will. But happily it does not res's with ourselves to decide whether the general tenor of our lives shall bo that of laborious ascent or of gentle downward gliding. The force of gravitation need not always be regarded as a type of the depraved tendencies of the human heart. There is a time for all things, says the wise man, and if then is a time for learning, no is there, happily, a time lor scrambling upward, and a time foi lying on the grass in the valley; a time for climbing fruit trees and a time for letting i;he ripe fruit drop into our mouths. Even Christian, who

Ah Old Surgeon Who Wanted to Do tho Woman Good. "There is an old fellow on the south side," said the Colonel, "who smiles when any of his old friends say, I a doctor you know.1 He was a surgeon in the army, and had reached the height of his ambition when he was appointed brigade surgeon, because that appointment made it possible for him to ride with the General at the head of the column. This, he was wout to remark, increased his opportunities for forming acquaintances, and enlarged his circle of usefulness. His acquaintances, it should be remarked, wero maiuly of the gentler sex. On one occasion, as the General with his staff and escort, was riding leisurely through a pleasant stretch of country, a tiro of musketry in front brought the detachment to a halt. The cavalry was ordered to go forward ard discover what the trouble was, and tho General sending instructions to tho regimental commanders in tho rear, went witn his staff officers into a rather pretentious house near the roadside. They were given seats near the tire in a large room. Opposite tho fire there reclined on a low couch a woman apparently sick. She had a comely face and did not appear to be suffering. The Surgeon was quick to see the advantage he possessed over the other officers. Putting aside his hat and gloves, he assumed aprofessional air, and, approaching the invalid, he said: "I am a surgeon, madam. Are you sick?' No answer. The doctor repeated: Tarn a doctor, madam, perhaps I car. help you.' The woman did not seem to hear him. Conscious of the smiles of his fellow officers, the doctor repeated in a sort of desperation, 'I am a doctor, madam; I am a physician; I am a surgeon, you know.' Even this specific statement elicited no reply. The doctor thereupon took up the hand of the woman, and feeling her pulse said, as he seated himself: VI am a doctor, and I think I can help you At last the woman turned her head and said, in a drawling, doubting tone: "Be you now? Then you air the nineteenth doctor who has felt my pulse this morning.' The doctor retired abashed. The bummers had passed over the road and every bummer had represented himseh: as a doctor and had felt the woman's pulse and gravely expressed his conviction that he help her. So it happens that tho expression, 'I am a doctor brings a smile to the old veteran's face.

Who Owns the Land in America! Who owns the land in the "United States? Why, the citizens do, or should, would be tho natural reply. But unfortunately it is not altogether so. Some of the best lands in this country are owned by alien landlords. Nearly 25,000,030 acres of land are owned by men who owe allegiance to other governments. To be exact, there are 21,241,900 acres of land under the direct control and management of thirty foreign individuals or companies. There are 2,720,283 acres of land in Massachusetts, so that the men living in other countries and owing allegiance to other powers own land enough to make about ten States like Massachusetts more than the whole of New England, more land than some governments own to support a king. The largest amcrunt of land owned by any one man or corporation is owned by a foreign corporation called the Holland Land Company. Talk about alie:i landholders in Ireland! There is twice as much land owned by aliens in the United States as there is owned by Englishmen in Ireland. Think of it. More than 23,000,000 acres of land owned by men in Europ! American Citizen. f The Position of Etiquette. The Samoana sleep on cocoe. mats, with a bundle of bamboo sticks as a pillow. The mats are hung about the beams of the hut during the day. In rainy or windy weather cocoa-mat curtains are let down around the sides of the hut, which in shape is something like a large field tent, but ruada of a thatched roof, supported by bamboo sticks; no flooring save the spreading out of mats as occasion may require. The position of etiquette in the house is a squatting one, legs drawn underneath. This is a national one, considering no chairs are used, but it is expected of the white visitor.. Fashion is as strong an autocrat in the South seas as iu Paris, and when you are in Samoa, you must: do as Samoans do. Thev are cleanly of their bodies, washing often and using soap, if they have ifc, ofteuer a bark similar to our soap-bark. A Poor Woman's Gratitude. David Bennett King, a trustee of the Eastern Dispensary, tells a pathetic incident which occurred one morning recently. An old German woman was discovered with soap and water carefully scrubbing the steps of the dispensary. On being asked by the j mitor, "Who hired you to do this, and from whom do you expect to get your pay?" she said: Nobody hired me, sir, and I don't expect to get any pay, either. I was very sick soma time ago, and the good people of the dispensary took care of me and cured me. I wanted to do something for them they had done so much for me. The only thing I could think of that I could do was to come

here and scrub the steps. I saw they needed it, and I'm coming to scrub them every Saturday." New York War id.

AMERICA IN DIAN MUM SUES.

The Irksome Restriction to Which XJioj j Are Subjected j Tho Hindo woman travel as lightly 1 as the men, but tt e two sexes are neer i l a xi. ..... .. ri

i puc into me sanio cars. j.uere are

closed cars on all of the trains lor high caste Hindoo women, and those have windows of blue if lass in the first and second classes which permit the women to look out, but w.iich prevent the men from looking in. These women come to the depot in closed chairs, as thoy go to the train they pull their shawls about their faces, though their ankles and calves, covered with gold or silver bracelets, often show. In some of the cars the windows of the women's compartments are so fixed with shutters that there can be no looking out, and in the train which

carried me to Darjeeling there was one ! car corered entirely with canvas as j

thick as that of a circus tent. This contained Hindoo Momen, who, as they rode up the Himalaya Mountains through the finest scenery in the world, were thus shut in the stuffy darkness of this tent-like car, saw no more of the grandeur of the nation about them than they would have seen had they been tied up in so many leather bags and sent along as Mail. One of the greatest roads in India is the East Indian Bail way. This railway has a curious met.iod of investing a per

centage of the wages which it paj's its J

hands, which is found to work both to the advantage of the railway and the employes. Wages are very low in India, but through this method many of the employes have become rich. All of the hands who receive over 30 rupees, or $10 a month, have to pay 2 per cent, of their earnings into a certain fund. They ?an pay as much more than 2 per cent as they please. The road receives the money, pays interest on it, and upon their leaving the service honorably, gives them back double the amount they have paid in with interest. This seems incredible, but I am assured it is so. An English clergyman told me that he knew a railroad employe who went in at 10 a month and who will soon take out $5,000. This method was entered into at the time the rail road was built. The managers were hard up for capital, and they wished to bind their hands to them. The company is now prosperous and it keeps up the same system. Con New York

hWorld

Himalayan Women On the slopes of tho Himalayas there are many curious tribes, says a correspondent of the Denver Republican. Some of the tribes near Darjeeling reckon a journey by the number oi quids of tobacco which they chew upon the way, and some of the most gorgeous specimens of Hindoo jewelry I have seen I saw on the women of the Himalayas. 4. I remember one mountain pink who had fifty rupees sprung around her neck, and whose limbs were loaded down with silver. She had gold plates twice the diameter of a silver dollar upon her ears, and her month was covered by a fiat gold nose ring. Some of these Himalaya tribes have one wife to four men and polyandry i common. Here at Bombay are the prettiest women of India. They are the parsees. With delicate, olive brown skins, they are tall and well suaped, have beautiful eye3 and fine intellectual faces. They dress in silks of the most delicate colors, and the dress seems to consist of one large p iece of 6ilk, which is wound around the waist and then carup over the body and the top of the head, so that the face looks out, and the whole hangs in a beautiful drapery. Many of them, 3" note, have silk stockings and slippers to match the color of their dresses, and they are the brightest and prettiest women I have seen. The parsees are sun worshipers. There are only about seventy thousand of them in India, and fifty thousand of these are in Bombay. Th men dress in long, preacher-like clothes of black, with hats shaped like coal cuttles, and they are very fine-looking. Their dress, when not in business, is often of the wh: test of linen coats and shirts. They are the best business men in the world. They own millions of dollars worth of property here in Bombay and are largely interested in the trade of India, Thev are more akin to the Christians than the Hindoos in their methods of living. They believe in spending their money, dwell in good houses, and drive about in fine carriages. They are charit able as well as rich, and some oi the finest of the public buildings of Bombay have been built by them. They are of Persian descent, and have temples in which burn the sacred fire of Zoroaster.

An Embrace Full or Meaning He had been going ifc strong, and he had come out ol the last spell with vague hallucinations of a most unpleasant kind. He did not tell any body, but he feared it might te true. Whereover he went he always seemed to have another man with hiin. He dared not ask anybody, and he could never feel quite sure whether this was the result of drinkir g or an actual fact. He never spoke to this mar. who was with him, but he felt he was: there. On the street, in the house, everywhere this fellow was by his side. A hundred times he felt like making a break to discover the truth. It was getting serious when he stepped on to a car to go home. This man sat down beside him. He kept looking down sic eways at him, but he did not want, if there was nobody there, to give himself away to the other passengers. The conductor came along. He handed him a dime. The conductor, from forco of habit, said as he raised his bell punch: "Two, sir?" Without a word the passenger rose and threw his arms around his neck. The conductor does not know to this day what his ifieotionate embrace meant. San Francisco Chronicle.

"I hear you have a new minister in

j S and a new teacher at the acadony. How do ycu like them?" "Pretty ufcll. When I am with the par

: son I run down tho teacher, and when I j am with the teacher I call the parson nauofts, and in thi:.t way I can endure : both. Df them." Wasp.

An Interesting: lts5vry In the .$tor Mad re MounfaiiiB. A Mexican i.reluoologis , f Jenor Marghiere, has recently mado an :inter estiug discovery of naturally n nmnified human bodies in a caver i in 1he fc-ierra Madre Mountains. The cavern is of a natural origin, and lies at the- hij;ht o about 7,000 feet i.bove the jea. Tbej mouth of the opening had been artifi cially closed with iiun-dried bricks and stones, so contrived as not only to closq but to conceal tfce entrance, In thci cave the desiccated remains ol four ht&j man bodies were found, apparently all members of one family, the fc.ther mother, a boy, and. a girl. The I die were in the position so commonly given to the dead by American Indians; they wore in a sitting posture, the liands crossed over the b reast, and tho hea4 inclined forward toward the knees. They all were placed with their face toward the East, and were skroucted in burial garments. In article concerning these remains n a recent number of Nature the writer assumes that the preservation of the bodies was due to the peculiarly high and dry atmosphere of the Southern clime and elevatec. level. In thia conclusion ho is mistaken, for the reason that, in one case of a human body, discovered about fifteen years ago, in a cavern near the Natural Cave in Kentucky, a similar natural desiccation had taken place. The remains were those of a child of 12 or 14 years of iige. The unfortunate creatr.re had evidently been lost in the caverr, and had wandered until starvation trought about death. The position of the body was that of perfect rejvose, showing that :he sleep of exhaustion had passed into thk rest of death. In this case, as in t lat of the remains found by Senor Marghiere, the integument was well preserved, there being no trace of decay in any part of the form; even something cf the expression of the ftice remainei despite the emaciated look given by the process, of desiccation. Wherever the circumstance" of burial are such as would be affordod by, any caverns in this country, wher the access of the germs which conduct the fermentative prosess of decay is prevented, and where the air has an ordinary dryness, a like process oJ! mummification would certainly ensue. It thus seems probable that the Egyptians took an unnecessary amount of pains to pre serve their dead in the mumirilied condition. In their dry climate the 6ame end could have boen attained by much simpler processes. As far a the preservatiDii of form is conceiaed these mummies of Mexico or Kentucky are bodies as well preserved as ai y of those from Egyptian burial places. .. - . i iWrC;. An Englishman Can't See n Joke. When Gen. ttchenck was on his way to England as United States Minister he had as companion de voyage to less famous a personage theu the late Ben Holladay, then full of wealti, health and vigor. He made the passage as in teresting for the General aa his unlimited length of purse and limited knowledge otf draw poker rendered possible. The two gentlemen parted tha warmest of friends, and Gen. Schenck always retained the highest- regard for HoLiaday, who, he averred, had the making of a great poker-player if he could only have fcved to be as as old. as Methuselah. Shortly aftet Gon. Schenck'a Installation into the good graces of London society he was invited one evening to

Lord Mayor Christmas' dinner. Christmas was an ideal English burgher sound, pompous, and beefy. u I say, " sang out Gen. Scbenck across the table, "I say, Lord Meyer, I met a relative of yours coming ovjr last month." Ah, a relative of mine, did you say? Some one, I suppose, who had been visiting the States," "O, no, Lord Mayor; he is a resident of the States; has lived there, in fact, all his life; was born in America." " Born in America? That is hardly possible. I ave no kinsman in the States What is the name of the gentlomcin you met?" ' Holladay, Lord Mayor. And I am quite positive abo it his being a connection of yours, as I have known him many years." 'Impos not at all. No relatives, 'Tirely mistaken. Nq relatives by the name of Holladay. Some iiaposfeor, I assure you. Never knew anyone name of Holladay. Beon imposed apon. Gen. Schenck."" "I got out into an ante-room' says Gen. Schenck, on telling the stoiy, as quickly as possible and felt lite kicking myself. Then aid there I re:olved never to try and drive another joke into an Englishman's l ead. I didn't think there was a 5-year-old child in Great Britain who wouldn't recognize instantly the connection betweon Christinas and holiday. Washing tin FosL How to M anage a Ma a. A man never stoops to the means employed by women; he is broader, more liberal, he applies himself to the uhings which belong to the day, the hour and the object for whish we live. Whoever heard of a man losing his 1 emper because his suit would not match hia complexion, or fume because six-button gloves had been sent when he had ordered seven? What man would faint on Broadway beca ase the clas; that held his hosiery gave way and wriggled on the sidewalk? Noce! Yet I saw that happen to a woman to-day. Yet men are very much lik children. Humor them, and they will doyouri bidding. Make them believe they are always having their own way; don't let them see the silken net yon have woven about them, and fcaey will bh.ndly obey yourwiU; but once let them balievs ihey are captive, and no puny woman's power will avail against their superior strength. Marie -arisen, in New York World, On a Gr ive Subject, Jones How im.ch did you say your bill was, Mr. Screwemdown? Undertaker -It is $200. "It's lucky for ;?ou that yon were not out in Pennsylvania after the fljocL "How BO?" "Because they hung peophi cut ther, for robbing the di:ad"