Bloomington Telephone, Volume 14, Number 24, Bloomington, Monroe County, 9 August 1889 — Page 2

A VICTIM OF MYTHS.

5 be likes to enjoy

HORACE S. KffTT.FB. There r&s a scent of heliotrope About his presence cast ; He'd pen a lay to Calliope For hit mid-day repast, Theto wan a famishwi look about Mia feat iirea palo and lean ; He'd rink'his brow ir to shout OX airy ilelpoiaeae. I tried Iti vain to still the mi be, I asked him ont to beer ; My invite quickly he'd refuse And whisper "Jupiter," He wrote Ms littla life away Ah, foolish poet wan. The spirits whispered soft and sap "He's gathered now to Pan," St. Louis Magazine.

BLACK SERPENT'S MISTAKE.

Directly following the close of the Indian campaign in which the gallant Caster lost his life, there was a year of dangerous peace on sle frontiers. I mean by that, that while the redskins were supposed to have been thrashed into submission, and while they were apparently at peace, they lost no opportunity to murder helpless people. The whites were bound by honor to observe the peace and to trust them to a certain limit, and, knowing this, the more dissatisfied bucks took every advantage. I-was still in the employ of the Government as a scout and rider, and it was my luck to bring about the capture of four bucks who were guilty of murdering an old man. They were awafting trial, when a young warrior named Black Serpent, who was the son of one of the arrested men, sent me word that he would have my life in revenge. I was stationed at Fort Hays, and he sent word in by a trader. Black Serpent was

his triumnh. He

IV 1 .... plays with you as a cat does with a

mouse, x 211 o ciock would be soon enough for him, and I sat in plain view of my lire smoking until after 9. Then I smothered the blaze for five minutes, and during this interval rigged up my blankets to make a dummy." When I retreated into the darkness and looked back the tgure was good enough to deceive anybody. Black Serpent would not approach on my trail, but from exactly the opposite direction, and I crept away in the darlaiess until I was fiity feet from the tire. . It was, its near as I could figure it, about an hour when the young buck came creeping up from the direction anticipated. Ill give iiim credit for passing over the ground as noiselessly as a rabbit could have ruoved. He had left his ritle behind, calculating to use his knife on me. He was all of tw enty minute creeping his last twenty feet, and I sometimes doubted if mv evesicrkt had

not deceived me. He was witliin six feet of the dummy before he detected it, and then he sprang high in the air and tittered his death-whoop, knowing that I was laying for him. He. came down in a heap at the crack of my rifle, and he wan dead when I got to him. I kept his entire outfit, sending word to his friends what had happened, and that I held myself answerable to them, but no one troubled me about it, even to lay claim to any of the property. A year Liter, when things generally were more settled, but with dissatisfied bucks breaking away from the agencies at intervals to make raids, an .Indian quarter-breed stole some things from Fort Larned, and I run him down and captured him. He was imprisoned for several weeks, and some of his buck friends declared that I should pay for the '"indignity" with my life. It was

honorable enough in their eyes to steal,

an Apache, and was described to mo as

1 1 , , t 1 1 t UVUWOlUtO will.' Uwll J.H I Z. T W3 IfS OllH, being aW twentythree years of age, . ijdnitv to athe venatr

strong, aees atict as canning as a tox. x ' f f1 . tr raa - , Q ll(W11 y

I did not know him by sight, while he

doubtless had the advantage of knowing me. In two or three instances when such messages had leen brought in they were accompanied by the further information that the sender would be at a certain place at a certain hour. The recipient had his choice to show up and kill or be killed in a fair exchange of shots, or return the message in contempt, and take his chances of being assassinated. Black Serpent gave me no alternative. He meant to catch me off my guard and kill me. While it wasn't very pleasant to have such a threat hanging over a man, I did not worry much about it. Indeed, it was the habit of every scout to take all possible precautions anyhow. I simply ielt that I had the right, he having sent me the message, to shoot the young buck on sight, and as for what he was going to do, I left that all to him. About a week later I was called upon to make a ride of about seventy miles to a camp oh the Smoky Hill stage route, and as I was ready to set out several of my friends came to me and cautioned me to look out for Black Serpent, who had been seen the day before about ten miles from the fom and direct! v on the route I should travel.

According to the terms of surrender he should have been under supervision at the agency, dishorsed and disarmed,but here he was, galloping about on a war

'mg.

had to fear were called Bed Earth, Half Moon and Oloudv Dav. Thev drew rations at the agency, and were supposed to live within the limits, but as a matter of fact were prowling over the country, most of the time, and ripe for any deviltry. I was then riding between two posts about eighty miles apart. It took two days to go and two to return and then, after a rest of two days," I made the trip again. This had been the program for two montas, and the Indians knew it and could count on my whereabouts at a certain date. For twenty-live miles of the journey I had a stage road and was sure of company. For twenty miles further the country was fairly safe, there being many hunters and trappers and scouts out. The dangerous part of the journey w.s confined to about twentylive miles. The route lay along the base of a mountain up a valley over a sharp ris?, and across several gulches. I selected 1. he spot where the? Indians would attack me if thev held to their threat. Just as the trail left the base of the mountain to take to the valley there was a canon making into the great mound, an I the trail ran within thirty feet of its month before turning to the

left. If the weather was good I always

j passed tkL point in going we&t at about

9 o'clock in the morning. In going the other way I arrived about sundown, and

pony, armed with a Winchester and a I muue ? C?P m tue UUS4UU aiz x a 1 around a spring.

navy revolver, and lying in wait to do murder. I was as ready as I could be to encounter him. I had the same firearms and a splendid horse, . and unless he ambushed me he would have no odds in his favor. So far as animal cunning goes the American Indian has no superior on earth. He is quick of ear and vision, keen to take in a situation, and he reasons pretty well up to a certain point. Novelists have, however, elevated him

coo high. A white man who has been

I figured that the Indians would shoot me down as I rode up to the spring, or very soon after I had dismounted. They would then drag my body by the canon and conceal it, and lead my horse as far up as possible and then kill him. I would be missed a id searched for, but it might be a week before any trace was discovered. By that time the wolves and vultures would have left nothing to identify, and the assassins would have been consnieu-

trained in the Indian country can see, oubIj present at the agency. It is still

hear, and smell just as keenly, run just

as fast, shoot better, go without food or water just as long, and when it comes to "figuring" he can beat the sharpest redskin by a length. I don't 3ay this because I had to figure against Black Serpent, but because I have seen it proved in fifty instances. When an Indian plots against a white man he plots something to be executed under cover of darkness. "While my route lay over a lonely and broken country, small detainments of soldiers were shifting abou;, and I reasoned that Black Serpent would hardly take the chances of an ambush. The report of his gun might be heard, or he might miss me in shooting, or he might be seen in the locality of the deed and suspected of it. While he would have an opportunity at every mile of the journey to shoot at me from behind rock, or bush, or ridge, I rode along without special vigilance, arguing for reasons above given that he would not dare do it It was 1 o'clock in the afternoon be

fore I knew that he was on my trail.

the unwritten law of the frontier that

when a man threatens your (life, even if he i3 drunk at the time, you are expected to protect yourself by shooting him first. I had witnesses that these Indians had threatened to wipe me out. I was expected to shoot any one of them on sight. I'd have been called a fool or a coward to take any other course. It was the cunning of the red man against the wisdom of the white. If I was wrong in my conclusions then my life would pay the penalty. I knew they would not act upon their threat at once, as they would expect me to be on Hiy guard and perhaps have an escort, and so I waited until my second trip

j before carrying out my own plans. The

Indians would reach the canon in the afternoon. A lookout could see me five miles away. Half a mile from the spot, however, there was a wooded ridge to hide my immediate approach, and this ridge ran around to the canon. I moderated the pace of my horse to suit my usual time. When three mile3 away I dismounted, tied a string tightly

he jumped backward iato tie canon h would have had all the advantage, but in his sudden surprise he made three or four leaps, and took shelter between me and the spring. I should not have fired upon him had he run off, and if he had asked for a truce I should have granted it. But lie was determined to have my life. He had a good Winchester, and he got such secure cover that I was obliged to lie low and let him do all the shooting. He yelled out to me that he had mo dead to rights, and would soon lift my scalp, and he called out, as if to other Indians, to get in behind me. He did this to rattle me and make me expose myself to his aim, but I saw through his game. I do not know how I would have come out had we been left undisturbed, but my horse presently came to my aid. The firing had excited him, and he had been trained to look upon an Indian as an enemy. He saw the red-skin down behind the rock and charged him savagely. The fellow sprang up and exposed himself, and I was waitiug for the opportunity. The three Indians had come to the ambush on horseback. I took their ponies, rifles and other truck to the post with me and turned them over to the commandant. He sent word to the head men of the tribe at the agency of what had happened, and a chief named Lame Deer, accompanied by three brcks, came after the things. It was explained to him that the men had threatened my life and were in ambush to shoot me down, and Lame Deer took a pull at his whisky bottle, looked me over with a grunt of approval and sd: "Jtfan-Who-Kides-Fast do just right. Injun must let him alone Who got smoke toback for Lame Deer?"

1.11 7 rt 1 I I

As I rose a ridge I caught sight of him aooui my none s ngnt Knees ana men j mUnity is weakened by the

about a mile away, but my observation ! advanced leading liim. ihe cord caused , shifting and alteration of its

was so slvlv made that he could not say ! Aim to limp as tf ne nad gone lane, maa naturaliv takes less

1

siyiy made mat ne could not say

I had detected him. He had been concealed in a gully about five miles back. I learned afterward that a half breed who hung about the fort had told him that I would probably be sent off in that direction, and that he had been encamped in the gully, for three days and watching for me. Black Serpent was doing just as I ' had reasoned he would waiting for night. I intended to make an easy journey of it by riding about forty miles and camping for the night. He knew this would be the way of it, and he had no intention of attacking me during the daylight. I kept on at the samp steady pace during the afternoon, halting twice to water my horse. Three times during the afternoon I got sly peeps of my pursuer, who kept at a respectful distance, and doubtless chuckled to himself at

i 1 t 1 -1- Ii -1 . , 1 ,1-

tarougn accident. 1 teit mat 1 was un

der the eyes of one of the Indians, and !

that beiore I reached the timbered ridge he would rojoin his two companions; in the canon. I slouched along as carelessly as possible until I reached the ridge. Then I sent my horse forward alone, knowing that he would stop at the spring and wait for me. As soon as he wj gone I struck into the timber and circled around to get as close to the mouth of the canon as possible. The last 200 feet of the distance I crawled on my hands and knees. TVTtt 1inicia lorl ctoiiiol w flirt wn.v in

catch up a mouthful of grass here and i largely taken by the mere sense of

Couldn't Suit llinu Oscar Wilde declared that ho was disappointed in the Atlantic ocean. Some people are never satisfied with anything. We strongly suspect that the following character described bv the New York Sun, was juat such a sort of man : It got noised around the hotel that an old man living out in the country twelve miles had come in to see Xiagara Falls for the first time, although living near it for over forty years. He had to come in on the train with his son, and a number of us followed them into Prospect Park to hear the old man's impression. As they walked he queried: "Jiiri, have ye bin lyin to me?" wNo, father," replied the boy, "the falls are right ahead of us." "All right, Jim. Don't try to pass no groove oft on me for falls, you know, for I won't stand it. What's that roaring, Jim ?" "The cataract, father." "Don't ye lie! If it's the cataract, all right. If it's machiuerv, I'll wollop ye fur Ivin'!" He was led down to the point, and for a minute or so ho was speechless. Then he turned and queried: "Is it real water, Jim?" "Yes, father." "Don't lie to me, Jim. If I find it's a panoramy or a made-up thing, it'll be the wuss fur ye !M "Isn't it grand, father? "Sorter; but 'taint no nine hundred feet high." "Oh, no, of coure not." "Taint live miles across, either." "No, it isn't." "The water simply comes down here and falls over." "Yes, father; but it is the greatest cataract in the world." "Look out, Jim! I'm an old man, but don't take lies from nobody. Is the water salt?" "Oh, no." "It hain't! Jim, you've alius led me to believe it was, and I'll be hanged if I stand it! Where's the whirlpool?" "That's below here-" "She is, eh? Then you've deceived me ag'in ! You made me believe it was right here. Jim, we're goin hum." But we just got here!" "Makes no difference. I've been lied to and deceived, and I won't stand it. There hain't half the water nor half the roarin' you said there was, and the water hain't salt. Jim, we're goin' home. When we git thar I'll ask ye to come out behind the house and peel off for a lickin I thought I'd brougl.t ys up right, but I haven't. I've got to give ye a wahlin'P And the pair turned away and left the park and took a carriage for the depot to wait for the train. Shifting City Populations. The misgovernment of our great cities is due largely to the facts ,that a comparatively am all part of their inhabitants are but temporary residents in them and that of their permanent residents the greater part have in the course of a lifetime changed their abodes. The sense in the individual of

responsibility for the good of the corn-

const ant-

members.

interest in

the affairs that concern the welfare of comparative strangers than in those which affect hid friends; and naturally cares less for the welfare of a community of wrhich he is a mere transient member than of one to which he is bound for life, and with whose past and future he is united by indissoluble ties. New York is a city of strangers to each other, without common traditions or controlling common interests. So vast an aggregation of men with so few of the elements of a true community has never been seen. In such a city the social

sentiment is feeble, and izh part is

Badgering an insurance igcfit Bob Kemvoith is a tall man, upward of sis feet high, but ho looks as if

ho was not long for this world. lie is j

hollow-chested, and so thin that h looks very much as if he had not had anything to eat id nee the war. When he passes along the streets the undertaker i come out and cast a long, linger: iug gl .i.n co at him, and no wonder, for Jie has been inspiring them witii hopes that have never been realized for the last twenty years. He has, morever, a hacking cough that has the genuine graveyard ring in it. Not long ago, it occurred to ban that it would be a good idea to have his life insured. He had previously experienced Home surprise that he had never suffered from the importunity of life insurance agents. To his .surprise ho discovered that the companies were afraid to take any risks on his life, that he was a bad subject, as his death might occur at any time. Being of a somewhat humorous turn of mind, Bob made it a practice from that time on to worry life insurance agents on every possible occasion. Not long since he tackled one at an Austin hotel, whsre all this is supposed to have occurred. The agent represented an influential New York company. Introducing himself. Bob said: "I just heard of yonr arrival and I hurried over to .see you. For some time past I have been wanting to get my life insured m some good company, and yours is first-class." The agent gazesd at the living anatomy before him and was somewhat embarrassed. He hen imed and hawed a few times and said, hesitatingly, that ho was only taking first-class risks, and that his visitor seemed to bo rather feeble. "Yes," said Bob, "I know I look consumptive, but I've looked this way all my life, and J ain't dead yet. My grandparents are living yet, and are both upward of ninety years of age. The old man can thread a needle without matches I mean without glass as. I'm good for a hundred, myself." The agent shook his head in a deprecatory sort of way. "I never get drunk, or commit suicide, and have the digestive powers of an anaconda," continued Bob, persuasively. "I don't care to insure your life," said the. agent, with increasing firmness. " That's what all these agents say when I talk to them, but I am offering special inducements. It is 1 sacred duty you owe your company to insure my life. You may die before night, and then you will regret having refused my offer. If the company hears of it thev will dock your salarv." "Excuse me, I have a business engagement," said the agent trying to get away ; but Bob reached ont a skoleton hand and detained him, saying: "I have been vaccinated several times and it took each time. Besides I am a man of influence bere, and if you succeed in insuring me there's no telling how many other prominent citizens of Austin you will capture. In the language of the poet: 'Secure the shadow ere the substance fades away.11 "I'm too busy to listen to vou." "I don't wish to bore you," replied Bob, "so I will call again later in the day, when we will talk the whole matter over. There are other agents who wan to insure me, but I prefer your company." The suifcring agent rushed cut of the hotel, and Bob sank into a chair and laughed until the tears rolled down his hollow cheeks. Texas Sifiinos.

Looking Over the Footlights. Francis Wilson was asked the other dav whether he could distinguish many laces in the main body of the theater while he was playing his part. "Yes," he replied, "I can generally find my friend, if there happen to be any in the house. I have fallen into the habit of watching the front of the house verv closely for familiar faces, md alter mv first scene is over I usually know where they are sitting. I used to think it eminently proper to try and not observe faces in the house, but experience has taught me that a comedian playing the kind of characters I ain acting should keep a very close Match on the countenance? of the people he is trying to amuse. I have often singled out some very sober-looking old telle w in the audience for comedy practice and tried in various ways to excite a smile from him. It may be a long time coming, vet some little trick may tickle his fancy, and once the laugh does come he is sure to follow it up with others, often excited by trivial things which never could have provoked that first chuckle had they preceded the joke that caught him. 1 don't feel embarrassed when I see the faces of intimate frienus before me, although they are often more difficult to amuse than strangers, probably because one's methods are more familiar to them. "I remember once when I was playing in St. Louis in Xadjy I saw an old fellow, asleep in the third row of the orchestra. Oh, how he was enjoying that snooze! I walked as close to the footlights as possible, and turning to whoever was on the stage with me,

yelled out my line in a shrill treble voice which mkrht have cracked the

tyinpanun of his ear. It accomplished my purpose nicely, for he jumped as if he had sat upon an upturned pin, and kept awake for the rest of the evening. We see some very amusing thing') in the front of a house,"

through the surfaces, shall not form distorted images of objects on the sensitive piate. The want of perfection of the optical .surfaces is not so apparent in landscape photography as in the photography of the stars. In astronomy the objects which are photographed are comparatively simple, and any distortion of figure is readily reeognized. In this Kcionco therefore, the highest degree of skill is required of the 0tician. Scrihner's Magazine. Prince (xcoige and the Yankee, When the (t een is at Windsor visitors are permitted to visit certain portions of Buckingham Palace, bus Marlborough House the home of the Prince of Wales, is never opened to the public, and both places are so carelully guarded that ore is not often paid for loiterir.g about. One young aud venturesome American from Connecticut was standing in front of Buckingham Palace on tho evening of the recent state concert. He walked to within a few yards of the palace gate, aud there met a sinewy young fellow with bright eyes' broad shoulders, and a keen air, who was swinging along leisurely, cane iu hand. His cutaway coat was thrown open, I lis shoes were dust-covered, and ho ln;d the goneral appearance of a healthy man who had walked a dozen miles. "Queen lives here?" vaid the American, n the pedosttian slowed up. "Yes," was the reply. By :his time'iho pair had readied the gate. The reu-coated foot guard saluted the tall young man as he opened the snail gate. "(Join' in?" said the American. "Yos," was tl e reply, and the Yankee kept pace with him until one of the side doors of the palace was reached. "Know anybedy here?" "Yes." "Who'd you know?" " The Queen. ' "O, rats! S'pose next you'll tell me she's your mother." "S..ie's my grandmother and I am Prince George of Wales!" Here a half ctozen flunkies appeared, and tifter much bowing and spine curving the tall young man wras ushered in and the Yankee was informed that only holders of tickets to the state concert wore admitted to the palace that night. "Come on the noxt visiting day," said the prince, ami turning to one of the flunkies he said: "Be sure and give the gentleman every facility when he calls again. The Americans are curious in more ways than one." It transpired later that the soldiers at the gate supposed the American was one of the Prinze's companions, and so allowed him to pass., and the American tell ;he story as a good joke on himself. London letter.

A Curious Double Tree. The park of Hoi wood' House, which lies about fourteen miles from London, on the road to Uckiield, and was formerly the home of William Pitt, is famous for its magnificent trees of many kinds. But there can be none among them more interesting than a double tree recently described in the Garden. It is formed of an oak and a yew which were originally jdanted close to one another, and the young stems of which were, perhaps, bouitd together. A "natural graft" was thus produced; the two trunks united and, though a clear line marks the junction of their different barks, ther is now but a single trunk of perfectly normal outline, which at three feet above the ground girths nearly twelve f?et. The height of the oak portion is thirty-nve feet, and its branches spreal thirl y-four :?eet, while the yew portion is fifteen feet in height, with a spread c f thirty-six feet. Up to about five feet ::rom the ground, where the oak sends out two great branches, the yew seeing to absorb nearly onethird of the diameter of the trunk, although it is in: possible, of co arse, to tell how far inward its wood exteuds. Each of the main branches of the oak girths more thui four and one-half feet, and "as they grow in opposite directions aud in bow-shap have an appearance that is as peculiar as it is unusual iu tree-growth.' The yewstem almost encircles one of these branches, and is completely amalgamated with it, "the barks being level and as if inarched at the poiut of junction." touch a twrin growth would be remarkable in any trees of different species, but is doubly striking when one is a deciduous and tha other a coniferous tree, and we can wed understand that "when viewed from the public path, which is only eleven jxrds distant, these combined trees present a most curious and unusual appearance, particularly when the oak is destitute of leaves, as the co-ming-ed, deciduous and evergreen branches are t hen aiost noticeable. Garden and Fores L

xnc Conveniences of Rusticating When you start out for your immmer rusticating make up your mind to one thing you are not going to have th conveniencies of home about you, by any means. You have got to sr.bmit to a great many things that you don't like. You cannot make even the eoplo, or the place where you are going, to suit your ideas. You will :ind them all readymade, like a suit of clotldng ut a furnishing store, and. you munt fit yourself to them, and noli expect them to fit themselves to you. If you go to the sea-side, there wfll be fogs, and rainy days, and musquitoes, and the odor of fish offal toid dead lobsters will come up to your olfactories mingling with the briny smell of the bounding ocean. The dinin g-rooms will swarm with ities, and no amount of screens will keep them out Eternal vigilance is their watchword, ;nd the man does not live who has made a success of running a summer hotel without flies. Indeed, ws have ill become bo used to them that a summer boardingplace without them would be desolate and forlorn. We should feel as if we had landed on someiininhibited island, with none of the modern conveniences. You will be sunburnt, aad your bathing suit will not be becoming, and somebody will have diamond larger than yours, and there will be no men worth talking w, and the bills will be frightful, and thc beds will be harder then the nether millstcne, find the springs will be a foot higher on one 3ide than they are on the ether, and the soap will smell of peppermint and you will wonder who washed with it before you did, and all the towels will be damp, and you enn't get any hot water; but you might lu.ve staid at home and avoided all these discomforts. Let this thought sustain you. If you go to the country, you will find that even in the "cool, well-shaded farm house" of the advertisement which allured you, life is not ah a Paradisean dream. The chambers are atnes, and they are hot as Tophct ever ought to be for any ordinary signers; and the feather beds smother you up boiily, and you can take your choice betw een them and. a rye-straw "tick." Most of the vegetables raised on the farm go to the market if you get up early enough you can see the honest farmer, who runs the boarding house, loading up the test of them, and rejecting the poor ones, and leaving them, out for use at home. If you get into a place where there fe one mail a day, think yourself lucky. And learn not to make a fuss if the daily newspape:: does get left over at some other plac?, Papers designed for the country have an unaccountable trick of getting "left over." Don't bother about the crowing of the rooster, a;ai the quacking of thci ducks in the morning. What if these noises do disturb your laorning nap? The roosters have got to crow, and the ducks have go-; tu quae k. in spite of you. If you dtra't relish the sound you can go home. Be patient wish the tou gh stoak, and lenient with the fowl that composes the chicken pie. Somebody must le found able to eat up the venerable oxen and. hens why not you? Exercise charity toward the saleratuastreaked biscuits. Sigh aot for the refreshing ice cream of too city palaces. Be content with the skim -milk of existence, and inha.e all tho air you think you can hold. Air is one of the com modities on which there is no discountin the country. It cannot be bottled up and sent intc the city end sold consequently there is enough of j.t. You have all you want. Take it, and be glad. And when you go back to your comfortable home, you will regard the man who permed "Home, Sweet Home," as the greatest pctt that ever lived. JSeuc York Weekly

1

there and I cot my first look into the

mcuth of the canon just as he approached the spring. For a moment I was ready to acknowledge that I was

beaten at my line of reasoning, as I

the thought of being on my trail and j could see nothing of the redskins, but

unsuspected. I had to make what is

called a "dry camp." That is, with no water at hand. There was scant herbage for my horse, but I knew he would not Wander far, and that no Indian living could stampede him or ride him away. I knew from the action of the animal as soon as I dismounted that there was another horse near by, but I built a fire and toasted my meat, and had enough water in say canteen to make a cup of coffee. Black Serpent would not be in a hurry. When an Indian is trailing you

while the horse was drinking the would-

be assassins, who were crouching in

the gemi-darkness, moved farward into

view. Yes. the three of them

there, and each had his rifle, and they had come to kill me. Their actions proved it. They waited three or four minutes to see why I did not come up, and were then about to move forward when I onened Sre. I dropped Half

necessity of maintaining the institutions requisite for the defense of material interests. Civic pride, one of the most powerful motives in. the history of tho progress of civilization has lost its force among us. Scribnvr's Monthly,

Capital Punishment. Teacher, describing experiences of

were j the day to a friend :

"In order to punish Johnny Hanson i caused him to sit beside Bliss Fresh, the

prettiest girl in the school." t 1 1 !

Friend--And how did it work?"

Teacher Judge for yourself. The

! girl did not seem a whit ujhcou verted.

Moon in his tracks, tumbled Oloudv j and smiled so sweetly upon jonnuy tnai

Dav over as hesurane for shelter, and he lost Ins head coin pieterv.

fired upon, but missed, Red Earth

he dodge bhiad a great boulder. Had ! ishment Fhiiudei'phia Frets.

Friend Why, tbafe was capital pun-

Photography in Science. Photography owes more to chemistry and chemists than to tho opticians. Fairly good pictures can be taken without a lens, through a mere pin-hole in

the shutter of a dark room. Huch pic- ;

tures, however, require an exposure ox from -half an hour to an hour, whereas with a lens the time of exposure need not be longer than a second for the

same object. Cheap lenses not costing ;

more than $3 to $4 can be made to give j

surprisingly good pictures when managed properly. Tho optician, however, has it in his power to greatly enhance the perfection of the photographer's work, especially in portraiture, in instantaneous photography, and in astronomical work. One can think of a glass as a plastic material which the optical sculptor moulds and forms so that tho rays of light, in passing

livening Dress Forty Years Ago. I'ow ladies who "follow the fashions," or v ho consuh; the hundred and one fashion periodicals poured out from the press every mouth and every week, have any idea of the extreme simplicity! the patterns of female attire which were in vogue fifty aid even forty years ag:. It is huiiicient to say that the bodice and the skirt of the dress were generally in ono piece; that tixe gown lastened by hooks and eyes behind; that the skirt were never ''draped;" and that their sole ornamentation was nothing but flounces. The only practical way in which a lady could show that she was in full dress was to show a low-nocked dress and to bare her arms. Moreover, bodices were, when made low, universally cut horizontally instead of on a bias, and the female novelists of the last generation found unfailing material of fun in depicting the torments of growing girls at even ing parties in their endeavors to prevent their low-neoked frocks from slipping off their shoulders. When a lady went to court she glorified herself with a train, a tall "panache" of plumes, and a 3 many diamonds as fortune had favored her with; otherwise the cut of her gown did not materially differ from tht.t of the schoolrgirl's lowneckod muslm frcck. London titandard. We judge ourselves by what we feel capable odoi ig, while others judge us by what we hre already done.

Useful Suggestions. i A mixture that is said to brighten the eolors of a carpet and remove surface dirt is made from putting one pound oi fine tobacco in a pail of loiling water. Allow it to partially cool, and apply it to the carpet with a soft brush. 1 There is nothing: better for a cut than powdered rosin. ; Pound it ui til fine, and then put it in an empty, clean pepper-box witli a perforated top; fchenyoc can easily sift il out on tie cut; put s, soft cloth arourd the injured member,, and wet it with, cold water once in a while. It will prevent iuflammatios and soreness. To make sticking-plas r, put twtr spoonfuls of ba.sam of Peru tj ?dx -J: isinglass, meltel with very litt e water and strained. Mix these well together over the lire. I?m some black Per&iaB. ( or sarcenet on u board, and dipping t ; brush into the mixture, p.ss it over the ; silk live or six times, then hold it to th! fire, but not very near, and it will soon become black and shiuinf; A good cement for fastening knive aud forks into their handles is mare by melting one pund of colophony and eight ounces oi' sulphur. It may bo kept in a box or reduced to powder Take one part powder aad riix with iron filings and line sand or brick dust Fill the cavity in the handle with thii mixture, heat t'ie stem of the knife 03,1 fork and insert When cold it will be found Jo be firstly set

Mistnken Anyhow "Will you pass me the butter, ple&se ? asked a eteedy-lxking stranger of a snob at a restaurant table. "That's the waiter ever there, sir was the supercilious reply. "I beg your pardon," returned thj stranger, "I did msJce a Mistake! "You're only adding insult, sir, broke in the snob; nothing could induce me to btlieve that you mi took me for a waiter ! " Certainly not," returne I the stranger, 1 mistook you for a gentleman!" No Change In N ine. "They're paving Grand Street. "So 1 see. "After they get it iaved they aiat going to call n Granc. Street auj longer," " What are tfcay going to call it?M " Just Grand Street, Is won't be turr longer than it is now. Ohiqgo Le&