Bloomington Telephone, Volume 14, Number 23, Bloomington, Monroe County, 2 August 1889 — Page 2

TO Ifl CIGAR

BY vmAKCIS B. SMITH. Thon rcll nf aromatic leaf, Of soothing ministers, the chief, When ttiy rich perfume I Id halo, XiOt tnose x.iio hate the rant and rail Anl I ill only love thee more, And s?,ng thy praises o'er and o'er, Thou aro-wn-hued, thought-creating manna! Sly mild Havana I Without thy aid how shonld I fare When tired out and pressed by care? How could I earnest work begin Without thee, soothing medicine? . I cannot keep thee long, 'tis true, But proud man comes to ashes, too. Death musters all beneath his banner, My rich Havana S I see thy azure incense rise In eddying rings toward the skies, And as it swifrly floats away. My thoughts unbidden heavenward stray; And then the lesson comes to me That human life is brief, like thee, And then my mueinga cease, for Ann Steals my Havana. New York Weekly.

WESTERN LIFE ft AStory Without an Organized MoraL

BY X F. CASE. Socrates Mulligan and I didn't go to Oklahoma. The incubation of our speculative chickens had been attempted before that time; and we had escaped the foot-killer by narrow margins during the period of the migration from Canada to the land of the Dakotas.'

"When I first met my friend Mulligan he was dressed worse than I was. He can dress better than I can now, since he has taken up the occupation of woodsawing, and I have fallen into scribbling habits. Then his costume consisted wholly of a ragged hickory shirt, pantaloons made of bagging, and a much worn straw hat. However much this outfit might have seemed insufficient in more favored social circles, it was nearly a la mode in the neighborhood of Mulligan's claim. "We had both taken government land a year or so before, half a section each, and had held them more or less according to law till starvation had given hope a black eye . and taught us that the realm of frontier illusion had many dissolving views through its back windows. Being neighbors we ought to- have been acquaintances; but the times when one of us was at home had alternated so regularly that this was our first meeting, brought about by harder times than usuaL I went there to try to borrow a ration of meal and tobacco. It was sundown by the time I reached the sod shanty, and Mulligan was milking his only cow. The cow was not such a cow as the illustrations in stock journals build up in the mind of the inexperienced. She was a cow in harmony with' her surroundings. This was in the month of August, and prairie fires, succeeding drouth,. had left the supply of wholesome cow feed insufficient and uncertain. This and other causes had left Mulligan's only bovine a bleak, weather-beaten old beast who, in her unfortunate experience with the pasturage and climate, had sacrificed one horn, half her tail and all her kindly disposition to t'ae gods of the tttorm. As I spoke to him from behind, there was a quick start, a .vicious kick, a shower of milk and profanity, and I stood introduced. "The .old beast thought you was an Indian, probably,9 Mulligan said by way of explanation "She was chased nearly to death lately by some redskins who wanted a chew of her. Come into the house and make yourself at home, anything you want and donV see ask for. I make a hobby of hospitality. It's mighty easy to do when there ain't anything to give or take. Tm a little short on good rations just now, however. The only edible luxuries Fve had for several days were crackers and milk and the milk covers too much ground to-night to be available. But who cares? Variety is the spice of life. I'm just a little 'tired of spice, though, between you and me In the absence of tenderfeet it is allowable to state that this free land government claim hallucination is the rockiest road to Jericho known in the maps. The worst mistake I have made in the territory, was when a fellow wanted to jump my claim and I wouldn't let him. He even offered me twenty-five dollars to peacebly vacate; but I beat him in the contest, and he and his money left the township, while I was fooling with a shot gun. "Oh, well, it's foolish to chew up might-havebeens,to recall the old flavor. I think I'll kill old brindle next week, and, with a hundred pounds or so of jerked beef, go west and grow up with the country. That was H. Greeley's panacea. This collapse is in the natural order of things a boom and a vacuum. We are just late enough to lave got caught in the vacuum. Three days later I met Mulligan again, still a pessimist, but this tune with an added cause. One of those playful prairie cyclones had undertaken to sweet) the township and had suc

ceeded. Nature in this play-spell of hers, had, however, on the whole, been rather kind to Socrates. Early in the howling chaos he wa hurled into a shallow well, and held down bv later arrivals of sand and debris till the suction of the storm had sought other fields of conquest. Fifteen minutes later he emerged from hia retreat, and cast a swelled eye over the landscape. The prairie was bathed in mildness; gentle zephyrs fanned his dusty cheek and loosened the straw from his unkempt locks. The coo of the sandhill crane an- the blue heron reached his somewhat damaged ears, but no vision of his former shanty met his eyes. The landscape bad been reduced in a few Slump minrtes to that of primeval days. o house, no hay stable, no squealing pig, no one-eyed horse, no cow with the crumpled horn, nothing but waving unburnt weeds and the glory of illimitable continuity. A few hours after he strayed into my shanty, which had happened to lie outside the central path of the storm, and received its hospitality for the night. "I like the spice of life, pard," he said as he sat down with m e to a remarkably frugal supper, "but it has rather gorged iu my path today. T'm going to ss:k a quieter sphere

as fast as I can walk to it. Aspirations are ail right if a follow is born lucky. I wasn't. I never had a dear gazelle ihat grew big enough to kill for meat. I think I was launched about as favorably a3 the majority. I had gifted parents. One of them was a poet, and the other used to lecture on the plausibility of Symmos' polar cavity. I was topped out with Socrates Napoleon for a name, which was, however, soon cut down iu general use to Soc. Mulligan. But this attempt to graft greatness into the boyhood of mediocritv tailed to provejthe right kind of horticulture; and the daily lectures I received to the effect that the 'Lives of great men all remind us how to make our lives sublime never seemed to enable me to corral any sublimity for my own life. If there is any reliable fact in the alleged benefit of bending the twig to get the desired tree, I ought to have been a canonized saint before I was 21, for it was the regular business of the household to train me in the ad valorem conditions of life every evening as soon as the sun retired to rive room lor owls and insects. But while my admiration of heroes was O. K. I lacked the grit to emulate them. Grit is a big thing in a young fellow's inventory. I never had any, and never could have anv. If I had

been for one short moment in the sandals of the Spartan youth who stole the fox and hid it under his pinafore, and when it began to chew his tenderloin, faced the public with a smile while Reynard went on with his feast of blood and gristle, there would have floated ovei the Thracian hills a howl that would have raised the mermaids trom the Hellespont to see who struck Billy Patterson. No, it was no use trying to make a hero of me. My trouble through life, I am convinced now, has grown out of misplacement. I was born a clam and have tried to be an eagle. I am going down now in the quiet substrata of society and try to become a respectable clam." "Oh, alt this will soon blow over, Mulligan," I remarked. "You'll forget Dakota in a year, marry some rich widow, probably, and take a leading

hand in the game of life. I expect to hear of you as a confounded sybarite yet." He looked t me with a queer expression on his face, and said: "You don't dream how much experier.ee I've had already in the path you point out. I shall have to give you another chapter from my autobiography, I see. I may marry a widow, as you say ; I may be hung, also, for I'm a loadstone for all afflictions that lack a field of operations. I married a widow once achieving thereby a pair of blue eyes and a red headed mother-in-law. Oh yes, I've enjoyed and endured all that spice of life from A to Izzard. It was. when I was in the twenties and had, for a wonder, struck

a temporary streak of luck. Through ! the want of better available material, j and owing to a rantankerous split in the 1

party, I had been elected to office, and it really did look for a time as if I would be able henceforth to live and lay up shekels. Just at this time I met Mr3. Matilda Smith, from Now York, aod surrendered without any stipulations. She had been a widow for some time, having lost her husband in the army she said. After the capitulation and its attendant ceremonies, the mother-in-law rose above the horizon. At the first sight of her gorgeous poll I knew I was lost. The impression fell into my mind with a sickening thud and never left it. Two years later relief came. Not through the death of any of the family. Oh, no; they'll never die. They are immortal. " It

came in the person of Mr. Smith, the !

husband, who had been lost iu the army. It was the Salvation army, I ascertained later, Smith having eloped with sister Nannette, who wore the blue hat with the red band and sang of the glories of the sweet by and by. Matilda met me one evening as I was returning from a search after frogs' legs for breakfast, my term of office having expired and old times come back and broke the news of Smith's return and the Salvation Army episode with becoming gentleness that disarmed much of the irritation that I might otherwise have felt at being shewed off the roort in such a manner. She had meant to correct my misunderstanding sometime, but it was a delicate subject, you know, and I had never asked for details. She had heard that a Mr. Smith, of N6v York, was drowned in jumping off Erooklj-n bridge, and had really believed herself a widow de facto. But Smith hal repented and reformed, and had returned from the "West, wker he had discovered a gold mine, 01 a cattle ranch, or some other inexhaustable source of wealth, and had expressed himself ready to jump accounts and begin life anew away out West, if hia old bride would follow him. " Of course, under the mistaken conditions of the bond that united Matilda and me, a charge of bigamy would be in order if Smith's temper should hecome ruffled Besides, it was too evident that Matilda wanted to go West, so I resigned without a fuss, and walked

back to the : river. There was a boat i

there, a neighbor's boat, but I didn't waste time talking with neighbors. With the going out of that fateful day I committed my first infraction of statute law in the larceny of a boat, the property in fee simple of a citizen of the commonwealth of Michigan. WhUe

the moon wa rising, shadows and fireflies flitting along the shores, bullfrogs lingering at their vesper hymns, and the voices of night were beckoning the

wearv to rest;, I floated out of the cir-

eumference ci the old life into a new one. No, I don't think I shall marry a widow again. A year ago a letter from Mulligan found me, and furnished a sequel to what I had learned of him. It was dated from Ohio, and ran as follows: "Old Friend: This is one of my anniversaries, that of my hegira from Dakota, and the paths of ambition. I always properly celebrate that cycloite-ushered epoch. The resolves tha" it gave me have brought a placidity of happiness I never knew before. I have found my level, s?.nd there is no more friction of spirits. T am a roustabout on a canal boat and an exhorter of t ie dignity of labor. There is a pood deal of fun in life, when you

can keep your fingers out of its cogwheels, and contentedly be a speotatoi of the humorous features of the world's struggle after painted bubble. I haven't married the widow yet, though I have boon through one love event since I left yon. A maiden of forty odd summers offered to wed me one leap year; but the proposition came too late. The invention of the wire nail and its practical character as a pants button has taken away much of the necessity for a wife; and celibacy is on the increase as ft consequence, especially iu the class of which f am now a worthy member. I have grown into perfect accord and attune with the New Testiment injunction. 'Take no heed for to-morrow.' I am one of the sparrows the hair of whose head is numbered. The problems oi labor and capital never trouble me; if the viueyards of industry don't want me, there lie stretched out toward the ecliptic in seductive greenness the fields and byways of trampdom, and nirvana beyond. Why should the spirit of mortal be proud when life is but a puff, and protoplasm infinitely beats perfected organism iu the gratification of its desires ? Yours, Soc. Mulligan." There is no organized moral to this sketch. The reader may pull out the fibres and weave one to suit himself. Sam Jones as an Adjective Klinger Sara Jones, the witty evaugelist, can say things which the audience will take in good part for which any other man would be mobbed. That his audiences sit still and enjoy his lashings is a great tribute to his genius. Here are a few excerps from his sermons: Christianity is the science of life. You boys keep quiet or get out. Now don't you feel mean, you old devil, you? A preacher who don't hold family prayors ain't fit tp bo pastor of a litter of pups. Some of you will go off and criticise. You blab-mouthed fools, who cares what you think? Brother Black there don't want any more members in his church, for hall he's got ain't worth killing.

The only difference between the Baptists and the Methodists is the difference between high-cock-a-lorum and lo w-cock-a-hirem . If any one here don't believe what I say, and will tell me so, I will give him a hat and some dentist a job of replacing his teeth from the wisdom tooth down. I, the highest fish that swims. The penitent sinner is the man who falls down, jumps up, rubs his shins, and goes a-running. You are all black-mouthed devils who belong tf the church, and whan the yellow fever came were white with fear. I don't know of anything too bad for you old mangy hounds who refused to vote against the damnable whisky traffic. I don't know who is these follows' spiritual daddy. You old skunk, you ! A high-license preacher won't be in hell ten minutes before the devil will have him saddled and bridled, riding him around and exhibiting him as a curiosity. If any merchant hero keeps open during these meetings, it will be some little fifteen-cent-skin-a-flea-for-his-hide-and-tallow member of some church. Just mash their mouths and you've got 'em. The Lord can catch these infidels; the only trouble is He hardly has a hook small enough for them to swallow. I can put a hundred of these little infidels in my vest pocket, and never know they are there except I feel for toothpick. What are you old Presbyterians kick-, ing about you old possum-eared hounds? Live ones kick dead ones don't. If a man was to come to my town and talk about my church like I have yours, I would either cowhide him or build a new church. A Rose Jar. Now is the time to gather rose leave? for the pretty jar you had last Christmas, says the Boston Beacon. Various receipts are given for its preparation, and they differ but little from eaci other. The leaves should be gathered when dry and put in a dish or jar thai has a cover in layers with salt between Bay salt, which comes from Bayonne 01 the Bay of Biscay, is recommended, buf the common fine table salt will answer Whenever fresh leaves are added a fresh layer of oalt must bQ added also. After two or three days mix them with spices such as cloves, allspice, cinnamon, mace, all rather coarsely ground, an ounce perhaps of each, also an ounce or two of orri3 root broken in small pieces, some bav leaves, lavender flowers and rosemary, a few drops of the oil of rose, and one gill of brandy. Add more bandy after a time if the mixture gets too dry. Some moisten with lavender water, cologne, uud bergauiot, but these essences soon lose their quality and injure the perfume of the flowers. Any sweetscented leaves or flowers may be added, such as sweet clover, geranium or orange flowers, but they should be perfectly dry when added. This should all be kept covered, stirred occasionally, and not put in the rose jar for two or three mouths. Then the perfume will be well blended, and by opening the jar for a short time every day the room will be pervaded by a delici '.ur odor. The Restoring Effects of a Little Widow "John," said a wife who was supposed to 1 e on her deathbed, "in case of my derth 1 think a man of your temperament and domestic nature, aside fron.

the good of the children, ought to marry

asruin.

''Do vou think so. mv dear?"

"I certainly do, after a reasonable length of time." " Well, now, do you know, my dear, that relie res my mind of u great burden. The little widow Jenkins has acted rather demurely toward me ever since you were taken ill. She is not the wo man that you are, of course, a strongminded, intelligent woman of character, but she is plump and pretty, and I am sure she "would make me a very desiral!e wife." The next day Mrs. John was able tt sit up, the following day she went dowr stairs, acd on the third day sho was. planning new dress.

Beauties of Camp Life. Did you ever go camping out? That's the way to take solid comfort during a vacation. Avoid country hotels and farm-houses. The true path to enjoyment is to get a party of three or four, hire a tent, loud yourselves, like paokmule.es with bedding, frying pans and shotgun, and go somewhere. The farther vou get away from home the

better you will enjoy yourself. Almost I

jvery party that goes camping starts on in one of the Eastern-bound steamers, ,nd buries itself somewhere in the otate of Maine. To be sure there are good woods and other essentials for camp life only a few miles from home, but it is an essential point to got as far off as possible. You have takon your gun aloig, and some day you succeed in shooting a couple of chipmunks, and a sparrow, perhaps. You don't know how i;o dress them, though, and about one-quarter of the flesh is wasted in the process.. It is easy enough to cook them. Put them into a pot of water, throw in some salt and let them boil. Bv and bv the flesh boils off the bones, and then you regret not having studied up on this matter of cooking. If one is really hungry the chances are that he will have to walk two or three miles to procure a pint of milk and a few eggs from some farmer's wife. Eggs are a food pecuciarl y fit for the camper-out, in that everybody knows how to cook them. But the best way is to beat them all up together and scnitnble them. You proceed to break them one by one, in a tin dipper, daub ing your hands and clothing liberally in the operation. The last one is stale, and you suddenly decide that you do not care for eggs that day. With aver age camping luck there will be a. smart shower every day, clearing o:f soon enough for your traps to dry before the next one comes along to wet them again. Here is an extract from a letter written : n camp, which will illustrate some of the beauties of the life: "Howard and Dick have gone ofl gunning, or trying to gun ; Joe is outside the tent, busy about something, and I have the first peaceful moment I have had since we came here. This is real fu:a. We are having an immense time. Bain for four days, but it is lovely this morning. I wish you could see the bushes about here just now, every one presents such a picturesque appearance, covered as they are with overcoats, rubber and woolen blankets, drying in the sun, I am barefooted, waiting for one of my three pairs of shoes to dry." Boston Herald. She Wanted to Die. It is sometimes hard for old people to conform to the customs of the younger generation. The following character described by the New York 8un was an incorrigible conservative: "It's wonderful what tlim flam aoshins they do git up nowadays," said the old lady in the next seat ahead. "When I was fust married an ox cart was considered good 'nuff fur anybody to ride in, but now they hev to hev palace kyars and sich or folks is kicking. "It's got to be jist as bad nor vuss in church," she continued, as she felt for her pipe and tobacco. "I shet my eyes to it for awhile, but I had to git um open when folks began to make fun of me fur wearing a bonnet which was i-even years old. Some of 'em git a new bonnet overv vear, and the ext ravagau ce in d ress goods, h in dk erchieiV, collars, and sich is perfectly Awful. I should think it would bust up all the men folks. "And everything has got to running to grammar," she went on, as she filled her pipe and hunted in her satchel for a match. In mv dav nobodv didn't keer nothing about nouns and. verbs and poverbs, but everybody in this aige is dead stuck on 'em. I can't tell one o' my gals to bring up 'taters fur dinner or drive the gosliu's out o' the garden patch but what she flies up at mo about my grammar." She found a match and lighted her pipe, to the amusement of the other passengers, and she was puffing away and taking lots of comfort when the conductor came along. "No smoking in this ear, ma'am," he curtly announced. "What!" "No smoking here. "Do you mean to say it's afin the rules to smoke as I ride along and hanker fur it?" "1 do. You will have to stop at once." ; "Humph! Well, that does put the cap sheaf on the whole bizness, though I've been expecting it fur some time. The last time I went to meeting they objected to my smoking- in one of the back pews, and now I start on a journey to my daughter Hanner's to be told to shet off smoking afore I've drawn six vhiffs, bebause the railroad don't like it! I'll stop, of course, but when I git to Hanner's I'll iust gin right up and

tell 'em I want to die. It's no use fur an ole woman like me to expect to get i

any more comfort in this fiim-tkm aige, and the sooner I kin git to Heaven the better." An English Reporter. Gen. Pryor tells tun amusing story. When he was in England defending the Iridi patriots he was quite desirous of spreading his views before the British public. It is much harder to got at au English editor than at an American, bin finally communications were established, and one evening there was a subdued knock at the door of his room in his hotel. "Come in," said Gen. ?rvor. The door opened about six inches, and through the aperture sidled a dilapidated specimen of humanity. Softly closing the door the dilapidated specimen put h::s dilapidated hal; on the iioor, and, bowing humbly, tittered: "Gen. Pryor, I believe." "Yes, I am Gtn. Prvor, what can I do for vou?" "I am a reporter, sir, and I was sent to ask you if you would give your views on the American aspect of the Irish question?" Everybody who knows (fen. Pryor well knows that ho is one of t.ae most affable of men, and in this oase he meant to be particularly pleasant, for he wanted to be interviewed. Hut forgetting that he was not in New York, he followed the usual practice of statesmen in this co:uitry, and begaa with, "My dear fellow, I really haven't any

thing to say, intending tliis, of course, as a prelude to a long conversation. What was his astonishment when the specimen grabbed hh hat, genuflected still more humbly than before, ejaculated, "Thank yoY, sir; thank you, sir, and disappeared. To have a reporter give up the struggle so quickly so surprised the General that lie really sat in his chair paralyze 1 for thfc moment, and before he could recover the Englishman had gone, and the interview was lost. New York Hun.

MCE CLEAN SU&AK.

Why We am Right-Handed, Primitive man, being by nature a fighting animal, fought for the most part at first with lis great canine teeth, his nails, and his tista, till in process of time he added to those early and natural weapons the further pursuasions of club or shillalab. He also fought, as Darwin has conclusively shown, in the main, for the possession of the ladies of his kind against other members of his own sex and species. And if you fight you soon learn to protect the most exi08ed and valuable portion of your body. Or if you don't, natural selection manages it fcr you by killing you off as an immediate consequence. To the boxer, wrestler, or hand- tohand combatant that most vulnerable portion is the heart. A hard blow, well delivered on the left breast, will easily kill or at any rabe stun even a strong man. Hence, fiom an early period men have used their right hand to fight with, and have employed the left arm chiefly to cover the heart and to parry a blow aimed at that specially vulnerable region. An I when weapons of offense and defonse supersede mere fists and teeth it : s the right hand that grasps the spear or sword, while the left holds over the heart for defense the shield or buckler. From this sin: pie origin, then, the the whole vast difference of right and left in civilized life takes its beginning. At first, no doubt the superiority of the right hand was only felt in the manner of lighting. But that alone gave it a distinct pull, and paved the way at last for the supremacy elsewhere. For when weapons came into use the habitual employment of the light hand to grasp the spear, 3word, or knife, made the nerves or muiicles of the right side far more obedient to the control of the will than those cf the left. The dexterity thus acquired by the right see how the word "dexterity" implies the fact made it more natural for the early hunter and artificer to employ the same hand perferentially in the manufacture of flint hatchets, bows and arrows, and all tie other manifold activities of savage life. It was the hand with which he giasped his weapon; it was, therefore, tl:e hand with which he chipped it. To the end, however, the right hand remains especially "the hand it which you hold your knife;" and that is how our own children to this day decide the question which is which when they begiu to know their right hand from their eft for practical purposes.

Anecdote of Cameron. Simon Cameron's mother was a woman of great force of character and energy. In her odd moments she taught her children their first lessons, and ofttimos the books from which she instructed them were borrowed. Just after Simon Cameron began going to school it took months of saving from the odds and end; of the family economy to buy him a single bopk. Eagerly did he watch the gathering pile of carpetrags his mother accumulated, and when she thought there was enough he took thera to the country store with a light heart. The bock cost $1, and the package was 27 ceuts short of enough to secure it. Tears came into his eyes as Mr. Evans, tli3 country storekeeper, told him of the deficiency ; but when he saw the lad's disappointment he said: "Simon, you are a good boy; take the book, and you can pay me the 27 cents when you can." It was the best investment he ever mude, for he lived long enough to see the boy whom he had thus befriended a wealthy and powerful man. He not only paid the 27 cents when he got it, b it iu a thousand other ways repaid the kindness. Mrs. Chase's Good Fortune It would seem iitlast as if fortune was once more return ing to Mrs. Kate Chase Sprugue. Mrs. Chase, as she now calls herself, hadperhxps the greatest socia1 career in Washington that any woman ever had, except Mrs. Dolly Madison. When Chief-Justice Chase died his estate was not supposed to be worth $30,000, and Mrs. Chase who inherited the bad head for managing her own money affairs which distinguished her father, managed o get rid of her share of it long ago, except the Chief-Justices place, Edgewooc, near Washington. Lately an electric street railway ha been extended out there, the suburban farm has reached the neighborhood and Mrs. Chase finds herself the owner of one of the most valuable properties in the District. Her son, Willie Sprague who went with hi) father in the Sprague domestic trouble- and afterwards married a sister of the woman his father married, has separated from his wife and returned to Lis mother. He is a young fellow, no !; much over twentyone, and thero is aopefor him. Albany Times.

Andrew Jf cksonN Dinner, When Gen. Ardrew Jackson visited Concord, N. H., after his presidential term had expired he was entertained at ('ass' Hotel, at that time the leading hotel of the State. The proprietor, wishing to do honor to his distinguished guest, provided a banquet and arranged to serve it wit'a considerable style., With the first course the general sur prised the waiter by ordering crackers aid milk, and refused all other dishes, much to the disgust of the proprietor. Cass' Hotel wat- the great resort oil ptage drivers, and it was at this hotel Vice-President Morton boarded when a young man and engaged as a clerk in the dry goods business. One of the leading merchants of Concord, nov in active Luiainess, was a boarder at the at that time and occupied a seat at the same table. Boston Traveler. Which a man goes to work he generally takes off his coat, but if he is a pointer he puts ouo on.

Bones in (treat Denmnd, 8om of Whleb Are ! imiUhed by Kag-picberfl A Eooliiyn Eagle reporter, who visited one ol the big sugar refineries in the eastern district not long ago, was amazed to see what an important part animal char or bone black pk.ys in sugar purification. Tons aid tons of the stuff are in constant use, being burned over and over iti huge ovens,. The thought occurred to him that very lew peoplo associated the awful smells wLich float over the Manhattan beach track from Barren Island with the white, swtet crystallization which Is in da:'ly use ipon their tables. He, "herefore, determined to utilize the first opportunity he had to find out something about bom33 and what use they are put to. The chance caiie one day last week when he met down at Bay liidge a man who had formerly been fcr &mau of a bone boili ig establishment. "The best bones," said the authority, "are the fresh ones from slaughter houses and butcher shops, and boneboilers make a special effort to collect such. The best quality of bons arc shins, thig hs and forelegs, and those are rendered out to free them from fat and flesh and nold for manufacturing purposes. Shines, properly cleaned, will bring $40 a ton, while thighs are worth $80 a ton. Forelegs are cheitp at $30 a a ton. The makers of knife, umbrella and paraiol handles, collar buttons, toothbrushes, hairbrushes, buttons and all kinds cf things in whi3h bone can be used buy all of these that they can get. Toothbrushes are mostly made from thigh bonos, while the bones ustd for buttons and parasol handles are as a general thing shipped to Europe to bo made up. Sheep bones make excellent fancy part .sol handles, and ivory fans, which society belles languidly swing, were onco more intimately connected with mutton than one would think. Ia fact the k g bone of a sheep till take a finer polish and is less brittle than that of a coV :r steer." "What bones are used ::or mikirg animal char?" "The odds and ends that are worthless for other purposes, such as shin bones, knuckles, skulls and tte smaller joints of the animals. Nearly all of the bone blade made from these sold to the sugar refineries, and through their calcined remains the syrup is fdte red. "Where do you get bones? "As I have said, we make a business of collecting from local establ ishments, but the amount thus obtained wouldn't keep us going very long, so we have them sent in from all ovr the country. The western slaughter houses supply the greatest quantity, as so much of the cattle killing of the country is now done out there. Bones forfertilizicg we boil in open kottles, but those for bone black are put in air tight tanks ami boiled under pressure, for by this procetis the nitrogen is eliminated, and carbon, the part wftnfebd, is left." "Do you get anything else fron the bones bes des bone black and material for manuf icture?" "Oh, yes; neat's foot oil is extracted from the thins and hoofs of cattle, and the liquor which is left over a!tex boiling makes good sizing glue for the paper manufacturers. The bet bears grease, too, is made from the marrow of fresh bonos." "Do the rag-pickers supply you with many bonas?" "Of course we take stuff they fish out, but naturally it is of inferior quaiisy and doesn't begin to compare with the fresh stock. Will I have something vith you? Don't mind if I do. About tw fingers of pizen will about fix m;r 0contitution, I guess. Well, here'j my regjdnt"

"I was reapers th

the Idieh: "and saw i the prohil Saline Conight. Ir stairs I fel the old m; 30, 'Grace would tas " 'Hush

'come this

man see u tion an w he suspect "I i'ollo1 mow, whe produced.

sold the

thoughtle: right mat our throat " 'Hush don't let t dreadful s want ter o "He led cellar whe "Oh, ye in Kansas Detroit R

How It Works. out through Kansa celling is spring' said a drummer on

gan Central the other day, iome remarkable workings of itory law. I stopped up in inty at an old farmer's over . the morning as I came down t rather drowsy land suid to in's son's, young men of 25 or ous, boys but an eye-cpener good. whispered one of tlie boys,

way, but don't let the old

s. He awful set oo prohibimld drive us off the farm if ed anything ved and was led to ho hayre a jug of the old stuff was An hour afterward, Laving )ld trentleman a machine. I

tslv remarked: 'A little of the

erial to take the dust, cut of 3 wouldn't go bad. P said he; 'come with me, but xe boys see us. They are Dt on prohibition, an I don't ffend 'em !' me to the dark corner cf the re his jug was produced, a, the workiugs of pr:hibitioa are fearful and wonoerful.

And let She Wasn't TinnL "I'm avful tired," Dusenbeiry said, as he flun himself into a chair after supper. "What iid you do to-day ?M meekly asked his wife. "Filled a large order, wrote iirae letters, went twice to the bank. . and higgled with Branson until he threw $9 off his bill.," "And tl at made you tired, eh V Well, I prepared three meals, baked sic loaves of bread, got the children raiy for school, m mded all your clothes, oleaned the stair-iods, stoned three pounds of raisins, p oked five quarts of berries, weeded the flower bed, white -washed the cellar, and chased an impudent tramp ofl ihe premises And I don't say that Tin tired, either ! Fret .Pres.. $et Far Advanced. Dingus -Idr. Snip, have you fi aished that suit of clothes I ordered the other day? Tailor (well acquainted with Dingus) Why, io, Dingus. It it iiuTt exactly finis liod yet. Dingus I suppose, then, it is pretty well advanced by this time? Tailor- -Er no. Its the advanceI'm waitkg for, Mr. Dingus. m icaga Tribune. A HAininEssKR hopes to flourish iu this world, aud in the world thtit is to

coma I