Bloomington Telephone, Volume 13, Number 40, Bloomington, Monroe County, 19 April 1889 — Page 3

Bloomington Telephone HLOOMINGTON, INDIANA.

WALTER S BHADFUTE, - -

Cot Incjeksolis par for clearing Boodlsr Kerr, of New York, is said to have been $25,000.

The new premier of France was once a humble watchmaker on the Boulevard Sebastopol in Paris. A Moxee, W. T., company are making arrangements to manufacture cigt-rs exclusively from tobacco grown in that region. It has necessary to turn the city hall at Waaa Walla, W. T., into a temporary home for immigrants, the rush into the territory is so great. Since the death of the Hon. Sidney Bartlett, John C. Park, of Newton, becomes the senior member of the Boston bar. He was admitted in 1827.

A Pabisian critic, who had never been near Ireland, writing of anew composer's music, 6aid that in it "one seems to hear the patriotic songs of an unknown nation." A seagull mistook the shining bald bead of Alfred Hollister, at Sea Bright, N. J., for a stone the other day and dropped a mussel on it, catting his scalp severely. A O AN0 of workmen who were digging a sewer in Savannah, Ga., unearthed a skeleton, on one of whose legs was an iron shackle with part of a rusty chain attached.

Australia has promised to give 35,000 annually for ten years toward the building of the proposed new British ships of war, and to maintain the vessels when completed. A Qeeuan girl 20 years old arrived in Atlanta the other day and met her sister for rhe first time. The elder girl left Gens any lefore the appearance of the younger on the scene. It has just been discovered that out of 25,000 native Kanakas in the Island of Noumea, 4,000 are afflicted with leprosy of the worst sort. Efforts to stop the scourge is under way. A han in Philadelphia who could not procure employment, hung a board over his back, inscribed "Work Wanted," and took a stand in a business street He got a job within a couple of hours. Thk London and Northwestern Railroad has put a dining-car upon one of its trains, and the whole English nation is open-mouthed with wonder at the progress railroading is making in Great Britain. A snsw machine set up in Massachusetts makes 12,000 nails a minute, ngainst 1,200 which was the former limit. The man who makes ten nails grow where one grew before is the friend of the manicure.

A fseak of the types makes the Atlanta Constitution say that the New York World is "still proaching civil serviee reform." If it is not, proaching it faster than the country is, it won't git thar very soon. A little boy living near Ontario, San Bernardino County, CaL, was badly burned and knocked senseless by a stroke of lightning the other day, while not a cloud was in the sky or the air disturbed by wind. E5f Pbesipest Hayes says he is now receiving fifty letters a day from applicants for office asking for his influence. Mr. Hayes does not as a rule answer 'these communications, but when he does it is invariably a brief regret, etc. Levi H. Gerhabt, a carpenter of Schwenkville, Pa., has a curious affliction of the eyes which causes him to see all objects in duplicate, notwithstanding he is a temperate man. Oculists are puzzled to account for his singular malady. Notwithstanding his great age 88 yearsCount Von Moltke is as devoted as ever to music, and seldom misses a court concert or any musical entertainment of impartance. But he rarely now touches the pianryupon which he used to be a first-rate performer.

Db. Oliver Wbnbell Holmes advises young men not to smoke. "It is liable to injure the sight," he says, "to render the nerves unsteady, to enfeeble the will, and to enslave the nature to an imperious habit likely to stand in the way of a duty to be performed. The suggestion of a law prohibiting profanity in any public place in Illinois is probably made by the street railway officials. At all events there is very little satisfaction in saying to a conductor: "My gracious, man, why in the name of common sence didn't you stop your blamed car when I whistled?" Rev. Dr. E. G. Robinson will resign the presidency of Brown University at. the close of the present college year. He is 74 years old, bat retains full physical and mental vigor, and his only reason for desiring to retire is that he thinks it would be better for tbe college to have a younger man in his place. He m willing, bewever, to retain the pro

fessorships of moral acd intellectual j

philosophy and of natural theology. A negro who was on trial in Dodge County, Ga., was asked -what he bad to say in his own behalf. "Just toll the jury," said his lawyer, u whether or not you took the clothes." "Oh, yes, sab," replied the negro, "I certainly tuk dem clothes. But you see, sah, I tuk dem enduring the night, and dey can't prove it on me."

DRVMAS OF SRh JiAULY DAY.

The atmosphere of a paper m ill is believed to breed congressional aspirations. Warner Miller is a papenx.aker. So was and is ex-Congressman William Whiting, of Massachusetts. Rodney Wallace, Whitney's successor, is a papermaker also. So were the Rusisells, of Massachusetts. So is Congressman West, of New York, Susan La Flesche, an Omaha Indian girl, graduated in 1886 ah the school for her people at Hampton, Ta. Since then she has been assisted by the Connecticut Indian Association, and. she was among the graduates of the Woman's Medical College of Philadelphia. She will stand among her people as their first woman physician. Gen. SiiOCUM, who marched to the sea with Sherman, speaking of death says : "I am a coward in the face of pain and cannot bear to think of the physical sensations that may attend my death the choking in the throat, the paralysis here, the torture there; but that aside I think of death as sleep and rest, and I have no feeling whatever or dread of the hereafter."

Charles Lovely, of Vermont, has entered suit against Daniel L. Hawkins, Assistant Secretary of the Interior, for $100,000 damages. He charges malicious rulings by which he has bee n deprived of about $6,000 arrears of pension and a monthly increase of $36, and has been reduced to circumstances of great poverty, and subjected to great worriment of body and mind. In 1888 811,410 barrels, containing 2,434,230 bushels of apples, were imported into England from this country, in addition to thousands of tons brought from various parts of lihe continent. England is paying out over $40,000,000 a year to foreign fruit-growers, and more than $500,000,000 yearly for imported fruit products, more than naif of which, it is claimed, could be raised at home. Postmaster Wanamaker said e. few days ago: "I wonder why a woman always adds a postscript to her letters and her interviews ?" Mr. Wanamaker has a fine reputation as a business man, and has shown a commendable imposition to grapple with all the great questions pertaining to his department; and this inclination to wander into the regions of the unknown and unknowable has both surprised and grieved his many friends. It is said that love for pets and. love of traveling are the two ruling passions of the Princess Maria Theresa, of Bavaria. She is unmarried, and her many journeyings is attended by a maid and a chamberlain. She always takes her pets with her, and the chamberlain has to look after them. His place is no sinecure, for she has fourteen animals of one sort and other, including several dogs, two magpies, an enormous rat, and a diminutive bear.

A Blow at Freedom.

A familiar figure about Printing House Square, New York, was "Aunt Mary" O'Connor, the apple-woman., who has just passed away. The crowning achievement in her humble, honest life, was the funeral she gavcs her husband

two and a half years ago. It was the ;

grandest obsequies ever soon in the Fourth Ward. The ward turned out, as it were, in a body. Out of candy and apple savings Auntie paid the expenses. She was an unobtrusive woman, never speaking unless addressed. The work of cutting the Perekop Canal by the Russian Government is now well under way. This canal is to extend across the isthmus of Perekop, connecting the sea of Azof with the Black Sea. It will be seventy-four miles in length, and is expected to be completed in about three years. As with most Russian works, the main object in this case is military, namely, to enable war steamers to pass from the Sea of Azof to the torts and dockyards of Odessa, without circumnavigating the Crimea or passing through the dangerous straits of Kertch. The canal has also commercial importance, as the bulk of the trade from the Don Biver and a great deal of that from Upper Volga goes to Odessa, so that the new canal will very much shorten the voy-

.age for all vessels engaged in that busi

ness. As the canal presents no special engineering difficulties the cost will by no means be excessive.

"Who is at the head of this vile conspiracy?" shouted the editor, as he did

a war dance amongst the exchanges on i

the floor. "Who is it that has struck this blow at American freedom; Mho is guilty of this dastardly attempt to grind the people and keep thfem in igno rance of their rights by muzzling the press? Who is it?" "What's the matter anyhow?" asked the foreman, as he came out of the com posing room. "Somebody has stolen my seizors." Merchant Traveler.

The First KnffllMhmati Known to Hve AVriUen Flays. The part of the volume that is likely to attract the most attention is the chapter devoted to the miracle plays. Prof. Morley had introduced this theme into the previous volume in treating of Hilarius, the lirst Englishman who is known to have written plays. Hilarins was a pupil of Abelard. He woto three plays the " liaising of Lazarus," the "Miracle of St. Nicholas' and the "History of Daniel." Those productions were probably written between 1125 and 1135. William Fitzstephen, a trusted clerk in Becket's household, introduced a description of London in his life of Becket in which he refers to miracle plays like those of Hilarius as having taken the place of the more ancient shows of the theater. The old classical drama had been swept away many centuries before Fitzstephen wrote. The fathers of the church as early as the second century set their faces sternly against all pi ays and players. The opposition to them was not so much opposition to stage players as average to the stage ddulteries of gods and heroes. But the dramatic instinct could be suppressed, and even one of the fathers, Appollinarius the Elder, turned parts of Scripture into plays as early as the fourth century. It may be assumed, therefore, that the miracle playes came down through the dark ages to the time of Hilarius, and out of these Latin plays came the Chester and other plays in English. Of these, the Chester, Wakefield, York Coventry and other miracle and mystery plays Prof. Morley gives a sufficiently full account. In these early productions even the comedy element was not lacking. Indeed Noah's wife was always turned into a comic old woman. She was given a temper of her own, and when Noah and his family entered the ark she shrewishly declined to go in out of the rain. In the Chester plays she insisted upon taking her gossips with her. In the Wakefield mysteries she had not yet finished her spinning. The Shepherd's play in the Wakefield series was essentially a farce with a plot. Thus we see in these pieces the germ of the modern drama, out of which were evolved not only the tragedy and comedy that preceded Shakspeare, but the actors as well. The transition was from the forests to the guilds and from the guilds to the fairs, and the fairs to the tavern court-yard. Thus the modern stage may be regarded as dorived in an unbroken line historically from the classic drama. Philadelphia Times. Ski It mining. It is somewhat difiicult to describe "skis" without the aid of diagrams. A ski is neither a snow-shoe nor a skate, but rather a combination of both. Tht foot is strapped to the ski like a snowshoe but the ski being of wood, and enormously long, sometimes eighteen feet, the runner uses the skis about the same as a skater does skates; only, of course, it is not so easy to turn. But the ski-runner can go where the snowshoer and skater alike would be powerless to follow. There are very few who can appreciate the exhilerating sport of ski-running like the native of Scandinavia. To him it is the national game, a mode of conveyance, the hygienic treatment that stirs the sluggish blood and brings a sparkle to the eye and color to the cheek. When the Scandinavians came to this country they brought their national pastime with them, and in the Northwestern States and Territories, notablv Minnesota and Dakota, the sport is firmly established. Jn the old countrv skis are used to travel with, as in some places where the snow is very deep and the hills steep it would be almost impossible to travel without them. Experts can traverse the highest hills and the rockiest ravines on their skis at the rate of about seven or eight miles an hour. Mountaineers and peasants in Scandinavia use them almost entirely in traveling about the country. It is novel sight to see in some inland berg hundreds of these peasants come in to do their trading early in the niprning on skis. In this country ski running is purely a sport, and is destined to become as tobogganing. There are already several ski clubs, and new ones forming every year. A, ski tournament has also been arranged, at which 400 ski runners will be present. Not only do ski runners run, they alse jump wonderful distances. Michael Hemmelstredt, a Norwegian, has a record of having jumped ninety-five feet on skis, the longest jump in the world. One incident which tends to show to what practicle uses the ski can be utilized, is the fact of Dr. Nansen crossing Greenland from the East with five picked Norwegian ski runners. They landed with skis on the Eastern coast of Greenland on July 7, and after a perilous march of forty-two davs arrived safely at Good Hope. A Chinese Flouring Mill. In company with Consul Seymour, I went to see the tiouring mills which here compete with or Minneapolis millers. They consisted of a series of mill-stones, one lying above another, and the two constituting a mill; the motive power was a water buffalo, the ugliest species of cow that God ever made, and the driver was a half-naked coolie. A doze::i of these builalos and coolies, and two dozen stones made up the big establishment we visited, and it is in this way that a greater part of Canton's flour is ground. The rudest machinery only is permitted in China. The people will not allow steamboats to go on the rivers in the interior, except in those places laid down in the treaties, and the small cargo boats which do the trade in the canals have paddle-wheels which are turned by gangs of men, and the other boats are moved by oars and sails. Letter from Canton. Cost of Living in Germany. The poor of Germany can live much cheaper than the poor of America. But for the rich, especially for Americans and English, living is nearly as expensive in the Fatherland as in their native countries. The following are the prices of some articles of food as bought by

rich and poor on the public market: Butter is 20 cents a pound ; eggs, 20 cents u dozen; cofloe, from 15 to 40 cents a pouud; salt, 5 cents a quart; sugar, 6 cents a pound; a huge loaf of rye broad, 8 cents; steak is 15, 20, and 25 cents a pound, veietables cost just about one quarter us much in Germany as with us. Facts Concerning the Centipede. The centipedes that live In the United States, certainlv the Northern State, are, ior the most part, harmless. Bin the same cannot be said oi: multitudes of the race residing in the West Indies and other warm climates. In these places the bite of the centipede is not only vory painful, but ofte:i dangerous. Like some other animals, the appearance of the centipede is against him. Centipedes are quite ready to stand on the defensive when thev are attacked, and when they consider themselves m danger. Their disposition to bite renders them rather troublesome bedfellows. When they get into a bed, th? least movement of the fileeper ove whom they may be crawling, and who can hardly fail to be disturbed by their sharp, pointed feet and claws acting on his skin, is almost sure to provoke a venomous bite, which will be fre quently repeated if the midnight visitor is not removed from the bed. The bite of the centipede is exceedingly painful for the moment, and is followed, unless the wound is taken care of in season, by great infl&mation and high fever. If the insect is a large one, and the bite is severe, life is not frequently lost, especially if the patient is of a delicate condition. Bishop Beber speaks of centipedes as being very large and poisonous in different parts of India. These insects have occassionally been brought to this country in cargoes of hides from countries where they are abundant, and where their bite is poisonous. Somi years since, a man who was employed in unloading a vessel in Bos ton, lost hi life in consequence of a bite received from a centipede brought to the country in this way. A Foolish Story, The tall, about a secret society of Italians in this oity, who wreak vengeance on their unfaithful members, is quite an ancient history. The statement that such an organization exists comes regularly to the front in the newspapers after every murder or vendetta in which Italians are engaged. Of course it has been used in connection with the late murder near Cooper Institute, and one hears a ffood deal of talk about the lawless Italian element we have in our midst. It is well to be just to this of late much-abused nationality. It is true that soue of these bronze-faced, qucerly-drossed men are given to handling a deadly weapon too freely,but it is altogether too muehto as sert that they are a dangerous portion of our community. On the contrary, any one acquainted with' the history of the Italian colony in this city must admit that one of their special characteristics is industry. Men, women, and children take hold gladly of any work. As a tule they are neither drunkards nor thieves, and their girlw and women are not easily drafted into the ranks oi the cyprians. The Italian comes here generally to stay, and he becomes an American citizen as soon as the law allows him. He is not a model in many respects, but his children and grandchildren will be thoroughly Americanized and live cleanly and well. From many points of view the average Italian immigrants will compare very favorably with a large class of the stringers who come to our shores, and when the foolish prejudice which occasionally springs up against them is put aside they will be regarded as deserving the welcome which this Nation offers to all worthy comers. N. Y. Graphic. Bolted a Sucker for a Bet of $1. While a dance was at its zenith of pleasure at the residence of Mrs. Clawson, a bucket of water was drawn from the well and brought in which contained a sucker fish about live inches long, says the Idaho Democrat The fish had been placed in the well by the children. The appearance of the sucker in the drinking water caused comment by the company, during which one of the young yeomanry 'lowed lie could swaller the reptile fer fun er money." This observation occasioned no little bantering and bullyragging, until finally he was told he would be given 1 if he would throw it under his collar. The boaster said he would go him, and taking the fish by the tail he laid back his head, spread his potato trap from pole to pole, and let her go Gallagher. The tinny explorer shot down the yawning gullec like a well greased toboggan, its extended fins raking the sides with a sort of ripping sound as of laceration and sickenin? to hear. The feat accomplished the swallow er unbuttoned his shirt-collar, gave himself a flirt and shake, and proclaimed in a loud voice that he could "swaller a live dog with his tail curled over his back, catch-as-catch-can, and no limit to si;:e, for $5." But he got well away with his bluff, if bluff it was, for no one doubted his ability to do so; and this, coupled with the fear that the passage of t, dog might imperil his diaphragm, brought the side show diversion to a close, aul the dance went on with renewed joy until the break of day. An Historical Clock. A most unique and valuable clock is owned bv Dr. J. Newton Walker, of Philadelphia, Pa. It is a production of the Louis XVI. period, and Mas purchased in France for 500 frs. by the grandfather of the present owner. Its most interesting feature is the superstructure of bronze, copper, and brass, which contains an historical scene from the last stage of the French devolution, during the lieigu of Terror. The scene is a subterranean prison beautifully worked in bronze and copper. A Girondist of bronze has; been imprisoned to

die bv starvation. His feet are chained to two huge stones represented in brass, while on each of his wrists are attached light chains fastened to several weights. Seated near him is a bronze figure of a beautiful girl, his daughter, who is allow to see him once a day during his imprisonment. Jewelers9 Weekly Woxajs's writes Postscripts,

THE AERIAL TORPEDO.

A New Engine of IHtruitlfn Invented Vfr a Kan an Physician. For over a year Dr. H. W. Parson, of Wamogo, Kan., has been at work upon a machine called an aerial toi pedo,M for which he has obtained a pat

ent m this country. The War Department officials have written favorably ol the new invention, and it has awakened a lively in terest among wur officials in European kingdoms., B riwtiy described, the " aerial torpedo" is a cylinder containing numerous barrels or recesses from which dynamite cartridges are dropped, the cylinder being suspended from a balloon and the explosives released, by a simple mechanism controlled by electricity. The mode l, it is said, work a to the entire satisfaction of all who have seen it tested. While a balloon that can be directed or guided, in its course may be used against an ordinary atrnphere, and steered and controlled by the operator, who also discharges the bombs, yet Dr. Parsons holds that he can accomplish with a captive balloon all that u needed to display the extraordinary features of his invention. The location of the balloon could then be regt dated by the reeling or unreeling of the cable which holds it captive, just as a boy changes the position of his kite by winding or unwinding his kite-string. It is not th inventor's idea that this machine can be aimed at a man and kill him as with a gun, nor that it will do aw:iy with cavalry, artillery or infantry, but that another corps of, say, 300 men manning 100 machines, and drilled to handle them, will accompany ever brigade, and being supported by the infantry, cavalry, and artillery will, when occasion favors their use, do more (.effectual service than the whole brigade could possibly do, so that the General in command would maneuver his troops in such a manner as to bring this corps into action and allow them, to do their work, the infantry, artillery, and cavalry thus forming but auxiliaries to this band of 300. Now, watch their work. It in estimated that each siege balloon will oontcin from 200 to 1,000 halfpound cartridges of explosive 60 per cent, dynamite, arranged ii such a manner that they are under the control of an operator, who is stat ioned on the ground and can discharge one bomb at a tim3. One hundred machines will give this corps 20,000 bombs at one charge, after which they may be reeled back and charged again every two hours or less, making six voyages in twelve hoTjrs and carrying the enormous load of 120,000 cartridges, or throwing the astonishing amount of sixty ton; of explosive into a fortification in a sing le day. Dr. Parsons believes that by using this apparatus modern military tactics will be revolutionized, and that between nations having such powerful resource? at command arbitration will speedily usurp the place of war. Salaries of Cooks. August Brunow, cook for August Belmont, gets a salary of $7,000. He is a Frenchman, and cooked for the Russian Embassy in London. J. Bailhe, cook for Orm Wilson, of New York, gets $5,000 and his board. Audrain Pons, Mr. F. T. Wilson's cook, gets $5,000 and board. He was cook for ex-Queen Isabella, and was somewhat noted for certain wedding breakfasts he prepared for royal parties in France and England. H enry Reviere, the most jovial cook in New York, provides over Mrs. Winthrop's ki tchen. He was formerly with Vanderbilt and Mayor Coojter. lie gets $4,000, rath the 'privilege of making extras. Adolph Gallier, who cooks for Whitelaw Reid, was formerly at the Hoffman House. He gets $3,500, with the privilege of doing special jobs outside, wnich probably amounts to as much as his salary.. Henry Bouile, who dishes up meals for Pierre Lorillard's f apiily, gets $4,000 a year and his board. Henry Schelcher, now chief cook at the Grand Union, Saratoga, gets a straight salary of $8,000 a jear. . Jules Webber, cook for William Beldin, of New York, gets $3,000, with perq uisites and valuable privileges. He is President of the Sociebe Culinaire Philanthropise. Henri Mathieu, cook-far Mr. W. D. Sloan, of New York, gets a straight salary of $6,500. Frederick Hemmerle gets $5,000 for preparing toothsome di3hs for Cornelius Vanderbilt. Gustave Berand, the youngest of the high-salaried cooks of Gotham, is now 23. He was brought from Paris by W. W. Astor to cater to the rettned taste of bis family, at a salary of $ ,000 ft year.

Spinal Curvatures Spinal curvatures of the one-sided sorS which throw a hip or shoulder out of line, come not from the disease of the bono so much as weakness of one set of muscles or overuse of one side, which gradually draws the bone into distortion. But the same influence which caused the deformity may effect its cure. It is simply to establish traction of the muscles on the opposite side, which will in time draw the bones into place. Plaster jackets anil stiff supporters have their uses, but it is equally possible to cure spinal curvature without cuch rigid methods. Indeed, severe treatment of any kind for a child may be thrown aside as worse than useless, unless m one case of a thousand. The traction of a linen braco, good nutrition and the exercise of tbe movement cure, combiner! with easy slings and swings deviled by physicians, w:H cure the worst lateral curvatures in a year or two, and lighter cases in a .?ew months. Little faults of position, standing on one foot boo much, sitting one-sided, wearing narrow-heeled slioes, mr.y strain the muscles i;o as to produce spinal curvature with deformed shoulder or hip. Angular curvature or "hunchback is caused, like true hip disease, by caries or ulceration of the bone, at d is a much more serious thing to treat. Shirley Dare. Mn. Fxndout Sad about Mrs. S. died thii morning while trying on a new dre&s. Mrs. Findout No, you don't say so; what was it trisiuned with?

CURIOUS FACTS. Eoso Adams, one of the foundeis oi Oakland, Cal.f who died recently, disposed of $3,000,003 in a will of lass than one hundred words. Photographs of tbe flight and ex plosion of dynamite cartridges are among tbe achievements of the instantaneous method of potography. How our grandfathers would have wondered at snob pictures ! The number of artificial teeth made k America ds very large. The house which export prepare teeth of different colors. Canada demands moiikrs at white as snow, while in South America they require teeth that are almost yellow, and the large trade from China ir for black teeth only. Me. Gladstone computes that the habitual speakers of English have increased from 15,000,000 to 105,0000,006 during the last 100 years, that they wili number 120,000,000 by the year 1900, and that at that rate of increafie. seventimes in a century, they will include 840,000,000 of people by the year 200tt A French army officer has invented kind of military microphone, by meant of which the approach or the movement of troops, as well ss their probable num. bers, may be gaged. The apparatus it described as being as simple ati it is ingenius, and consists of a transmitting and a receiving machine, which are con nected together by a metallic wire. Experiments made with the ins trument have been very satisfactory. Walking-sticks are being turned to novel purposes by an inventive mam facturer. From one a silk umbrella emerges and, screwed into the handle answers every purpose; ift aaother a dozen pennies are stowed away ; anothei contains a measure for the height of horses, with a spirit level attached; while another with a crystal handle shows the face of a watch winch telle the time perfectly, A middle-aged woman went to rominent physician of San Iiego not ong ago, and asked him to ftmputatc her two great toeti. He examined them, assured her that there was nothing wrong with them, and said that he wouldn't cut them oft Shir begged him to, saying that if they were off aha could wear "No. 2" shoes instead of 4a, as them. Her toes were her own, she said, to do what i$ho pleased irith, and she would give $300 to have 1&em oC The doctor refused, and the woma went in quest of some one with lest conscience. A San Diego nowspapet says that she found some one to do the job successfully, for two weeks later she went to San Francisco wearing tbe best pair of "No. 2s" that oouid be bought i San Diego. uDappcn vs. Dappen." I have read in American papers di vorce cases thatrere really most comic When a will has to be administered matters have to become very m ixed op, as you may easily imagine. Who art the legitimate children? Of course all these confusions make work for the men of law who naturally think American legislation the .finest is the world. The city of Chicago alone iwaseeaea seventeen hundred and sixty-eight law yers, all thriving. What a capital subject for asa opera boufle might be got from some of thoec Chicago divorce oases! Whaii merry quid-pro-quos ! What amusug scenes! Choruses of lawyers choruses oi lawful wives, with the refrain : "We are Mrs. Jonathan, tra la! I extracted from a Chicago paper the following evidence, full of originality and humor. The plaintiff is at the bar, being examined : " What is your husband's oocujation ? asked the counsel " Habitual drunkenness, sir,9 sail

Mrs. Dappen. UI refer to your husband's profession.-' "He made cigaro." "Good cigars ?" " Occasionally. 9 Here counsel drew a cigar fxom hit pocket. "This, your honor, is one oi the de

1U.IUA 1H jUJUUlUlb Li. BI

Judge.

"Had Mr. Dapen any other profession ?" continued the lawyer. "Not to my knowledge," said Mr. Dappen's wife. "Never practiced as a dentist S" "Not professionatiy. "Now, Mrs. Dappen, on your oath, did not vour husband extract six oi your teeth?" Mrs. Dappen looked timidly around. Mr. Dappen beitg evidently out of hearing, she whispered, "He did. "Did he adtfunier gas, or ether, ox any anaesthetic?" "No, sir' "Did he extract the teeth one after the other?" "He extracted them altogether." "Had your husband any license to practice as a dentist?" "I never heard oi it. He used to say: 4I will allow you a dollar a day. Bring me the accounts every week, and if I ever tind a cent missing I will knock vour teeth out.' "Did he find any deficit in your ao counts T' "One Saturday night I could not bal ance the books. I was 13 eentt short. Without a word my husband struck me in the mouth. Six of my teeth were knocked out. I swallowed two." "Have you the other four in court? "Yes, sir." "Mark them 'Exhibit B,' said the Judge. Eventually the divoroe was granted. Max O'BeWs Jonathan and Hi Continent." Science Against Grit. Eminent experts in naval irarfare have come to the conclusion that in the future the nation which puts most soi-t ence into its ships and their armaments, and handles them the most scientifically, will have an immense advantage in sea fights over less scientific rivals. It is said that the French seem to be draw ing ahead of other people in these matters, but the Americans and English are still ready to trust largely to native grit and fortitude for the triumph of their respective country men on the sea and all along thore.