Bloomington Telephone, Volume 11, Number 18, Bloomington, Monroe County, 9 September 1887 — Page 3

GREAT "CROOKS."

Soman Uc lUeaa Dispellsnl by an Experienced Criminal. rFyhtlaaaIph!a Timea.1 I was looking over te criminal list the other day of the- convicted professionals confined in New York State. They were numerous enough, but their crimes were contemptibly small. To nake your Vidocq, you must hare first your great criminal and his great crime. The American Vidocq makes himself, with these two essentials left out ; and haying opportunity to talk with one of the alleged great criminals, he Confirmed my belief in the visionary character of these shrewd and clever rascals with no greater effort than revealing his own stupidity. I hunted up another, a professional who has repeated his offenses sufficiently to entitle him to any other distinction than that of an honest man. I would mention that he wears stripes now, except that it might draw from the value of his statements in the miuds of some who are too easily prejudiced. Anyway he is a better authority than the police, whose vanity in their own capacity may be a proper pride, but leads to some mighty tall lying. , "The fact is that professional thieves and rogues are not numerous in any locality, and if crime were the sole source of support for the few hundreds who are so classed, most of them would be hungry many times every year. Men who steal whenever they get a chance have always some other occupation, and it is a fact that the legitimate one is more profitable than the illegitimate one in nine cases out of ten." Thus begat: my informant, whose name you may lock for a little farther on. "But in this city there is a vast army of professional criminals,11 1 said, "men who are classified and whose industries have special forms, implying cunning and originality. n "My dear sir, you have been reading the newspapers or talking to detectives. There isn't a dozen. If really clever men if men with a modicum of brains that belong to clever people were to devote their talents to roguery society couldn't exist. The methods employed by thieves, for example, to attain their ends look very cunning and well planned to one to whom they are first revealed. But take any one of them and examine it and you will see how flimsy it is. A sneak thief wants to get into the till of a corner grocery. His accomplice oomes with a tape line and begins to measure the, sidewalk in front of the door, or to measure the wall, or comes in a wagon and begins to throw out a lot of boxes. The grocer steps out to inquire; is held in conversation, asked to hold the end of the measure or pass back the boxes; the sneiik is in and away, and the trick is aSL A saloon-keeper is known to keep a pocketbook stuffed with money in the inner pocket of his vest. The pickpocket knows it is a difficult place to touch. Tvro accomplices come in when he is alone, both of them laughing heartily -one with a tape measure. VV ell, that was a dead loss for me says one. 'Set 'em up.' They laugh, ask the saloon-keeper to drink, and explain that they were betting on ihe neighbor. The saloon-keeper becomes interested; the more so as rounds are being called, and then the loser wants to get even. A bottle of wine is staked and the victim asked to measure, the new bet being on his girth. Objection is taken to the vest; off it comes, and the sneak thief a third party soon has the leather.9 "Now, that's artful, certainly," sid L "No such a thing; it is most transparent and simple. It couldn't succeed were it not that the victim is a fooL But these are exceptional cases of such good planning as crooks pan da But, after all, suppose a man of brains real brains, such as you know plenty of were to devote himself to the planning of ways to get other people's money without an equivalent, and went at it with the energy that men give to the practice of their profession or to the pursuits of commerce, where would such schemes as this be? Nowhere. You hear of a great burglary. The newspapers which report it dwell upon the fact that -it has been carefully planned and that the house had been plotted, for a diagram which the rascals had left in their flight was found. What's to hinder any man from learning every room and everv door in New York City? There's the builder's plans, the insurance companies' plots, and the Building Department's open files. A little watching and a good deal of guessing makes up the rest of the burglar's knowledge. Of course his 'tools are of the finest workmanship.' Bats! The chances are ten to one that they consist of a bar of iron, which being carried by a burglar is called a 'jimmy;' a dark lantern, a copper hammer, a chisel, and a flask of powder and a handkerchief with holes in it to see through for a mask.1' "But there are cases where men have gone further than make a few hasty preparations ; have hired adjoining stores and tunnelled and burrowed into banks and vaults with infinite patience and labor." "Bah! How many? You say ten and I eay one. Whatever you say I will allow 10 per cent. But can you recall any?" "Well, the Covington, Ky., bank." "That's one. You can't go on." "You say there are no good abilities in crooked work. How about forgers?" "Now, there you strike upon the clever lot At least they were, for they are nearly all in prison now. But let me tell you that professional forgers are very few fewer than counterfeiters, in fact, who are practically exterminated, not because of the cleverness of the police, but because the mechanical work of making notes and bonds requires such an expensive plant, the founding of which attracts attention to itsell There are a few professional gangs of forgers, say half a dozen, in the history of the United States in a quarter of a century. The last one was the one you named. It was composed practically of three men a 'scratcher,' one who does the writing, you know; an organizer, who plans and directs; and a third who cover. up the tracks and helps the fellow who lays the 'paper down' to get away. The organizer in the gang I . peak of was Fisher, a calm-faced, gentlemanly young fellow of good ad

dress and some superficial knowledge. Don't let anybody deceive you into thinking that any 'crook' is a polished gentleman, learned in the philosophies, conversant with the arts, and founded

iin literature. Why, there's Hungry

-Joe, the faiucu? well, notorious, then

bunko steerer. Why, he is an utter vulgarian ; can't speak two sentence of grammatical English; nouns and Verbs nearly always at war, and the objective pronoun in the nominative case invariably. He leads your cultured Oscar Wilde and your learned Charles Francis Adams up to the dealer like an unsuspecting lamb to a butcher's block. As soon as they acquire that sort of thing they know enough to be jhonost. The Cloud Changed Things. A bad drouth prevailed in southeastern Dakota a number of years ago. It was feared that the few settlers in that region at that time would lose all their crops. Elder Blodgett, who had charge of a church and also a livery stable at a small Missouri lliver town, held a special meeting one Sum ay afternoon to pray for rain. People came from miles around. Before the services began two men got into an argument, near the freight warehouse in which the meeting was to be held concerning the relative merits of different kinds of beaver traps. The discussion grew warm and one of them said; "Mebby you think I don't know nothing 'bout traps?" "You don't talk 'sif ye was overstocked." "I know a thunderin' sight niore'n you do Txmt 'em !" "Yer a sight better liar nor I am, too!" "Ill show ye !" They both stood up and went at it when the Elder came rushing out and said: "Here, no fightin' no fighiin ! We're gathered here on a sacred and a solemn mission; the whole country is dryin' up an' it's goin' to take earnest prayer to get rain. D'ye think it will do any good with this kind o' work goin' on ? Come on in an' services will now begin." They all went in and a very earnest meeting was held. Everybody prayed, Elder Blodgett half a dozen times. After a final appeal they filed out, and, as they did so, the Elder spied a dark rain-cloud low down on the southwestern horizon. "There's a cloud cominM" he shouted. "That's so," yelled the others, "we're all right now!" "You bet we are," replied the Elder, "I knowed earnest prayer would fetch it Now where's them men that wanted to fight? Here, peel off yer coats an' go atitr But we've concluded not to," replied one. "Concluded not to! Well that's a thunderin' pretty note ! An' after he called ye a liar, too ! That won't do you fellers have got 'o fight, so gimme your coat. Form a ring here, brethren ! Now pitch in, no pullin' hair, an' hurry up 'fore that rain gets here an' sp'ites the fun!" Dakota Bell How to Treat Sunstroke. A sudden prostration of the nervous system resulting from extreme heat is commonly called sunstroke. It is a mistake, however, to suppose that exposure to the sun's rays is necessary to produce the prostration, for workmen who are exposed all day to the scorching sun do not have sunstroke as often as persons of sedentary habits, who walk on the shady side of the street The usual symptoms indicating an attack of sunstroke are a full, heavy feeling in the head, dizziness, ringing in the ears, deranged vision, faintness, and difficult breathing; but sometimes the patient falls unconscious without any of these symptoms being present, and without the slightest warning. In severe cases death may ensue iu a few hours. Those who recover from an attack do so slowly, and continue to be greatly prostrated for some time after, dizziness and faintness coming on after the slightest mental effort, while the full, distressed feeling in the head continues for months afterward. Sunstroke is best avoided by immediately ceasing all mental and physical effort as soon as the first symtoms of prostration are felt and above all by avoiding the drinking of ice-water when overheated. The head should be protected by a sunshade, and care taken to keep the digestive organs healthy by using light iood. When an attack occurs the patient should be removed to a cool place and placed in a recumbent position, cold water or ice-bags should be applied to the head, and mustard paste, capsicum, or other stimulants to the extremities and over the stomach. Hartshorn should be held to ihe nose, and a? scon as the patient can swallow, an ounce of brandy, with ten drops of essence of ginger, should be swallowed. When improvement begins the patient should be kept as quiet as possible, and all exposure to heat avoided for the balance of the summer. From Home Knowledge. The Human Stomach, 1. The position of the stomach is more nearly vertical than horizontal. 2. An empty stomach, if not in good tone, is always tubular. 3. A tublar &tomack should be the rule on rising. 4. Non-irritating liquids pass directly through the tubular stomach. 5. They do likewise if the stomach contains food, and in such cases pass along the less curvature. 6. The morning mucus contained in the stomach hinders or retards digestion. 7. Water drank before meals dilutes and washes out this mucous, stimulates the gastroenteric tract to peristalls, and causes hyperamia of its lining membrane, thus greatly aiding digestion as well as elimination. 8. Cold water should be given those who have the power to react, white warm or hot water must be administered to all others. 9. Salt added to the water is very beneficial in preventing the formation of unabsorbable parapetone. 10. It is perfectly proper to drink water before, during, and after meals. Medical News. Time hatk often cured the wound which reason failed to heal. Seneca

Glimpses of the Ridiculous, In all the learned professions, except perhaps the chuich, a ready wit is often quite as useful as a profound knowledge, and for worldly success and popularity it is perhaps even more so. A ready tongue will often save the medical man from a display of ignorance or prevent him from giving au opinion prematurely on a doubtful case. To the politician it is of almost absolute necessity, and many a telling speech has been defeated of its aim by a timely joke, while a barrister may often put a jury in good temper and perhaps even win a case by a little well-timed pleasantry. But to the schoolmaster it is of the greatest importance, for there are no keener critics and no audience more ready to turn everything to ridicule than a class of schoolboys. Once let them discover that their master does not see a joke, or has a sense of humor inferior to their own, and his task of winning their respect will become of tenfold difficulty. If their master can be made to appear ridiculous his influence is forever gone. The unfortunate French master is a good example of this, for be he ever so good a teacher and ever so firm, his foreign accent has a ridiculous sound to the boys' ears, and it, together with a somewhat different idea of a joke, makes his task of keeping order and winning the respect of his class almost a hopeless one. On the other hand, boys dread ridicule more than even the cane, and the knowledge that their master has a sharp tongue and can readily turn the laugh against themselves has more power than unlimited punishments. Such a power had a late well-known schoolmaster in one of our large provincial towns, and many are the stories told of his keen sense of ridicule and Ms power of ready repartee. One first of April, while walking through one of the suburbs, a passing carter called out to him : "I say, Gove'nor, thee's shoestring's untied." The man of learning looked down at his foot, to the delight of the carter, who with a rude laugh called him an April fool. The schoolmaster, however, appeared rather pleased than otherwise at the man's pleasantry, and remarked that he liked to see old customs kept up. "I always make it a rule," said he to the carter, "to give half a crown to the first one who makes an April fool of me, so just come up with me to my house. w The carter, with a grin of delight, turned his horse and followed him. At the schoolhouse door he turned and bade the carter a courteous good day, with the remark : "And who is the April fool no w?" The birch was a far commoner instrument of school discipline then than it is now, and every Saturday morning a list of delinquents was given to the head master for corporal punishment. On one occasion a boy demanded to know why he was to receive this punishment, but the only answer he received was: "Because your name is on the list" After all the punishments had been indicted the boy again inquired the reason and declared his innocenca On inquiry.it was found that the wrong list had been given to the head master, and that he had flogged the candidates for confirmation! 0:i the Sunday he read the service in chapel and added to the prayer for all sorts and conditions of men: "Especially those now being prepared for confirmation; give them patience under their sufferings and a happy issue out of all their afflictions." Sweet Lemons and Blood Oranges. Strolling about tha neighborhood of the Quincy Market my attention was attracted by the sign, "Blood Oranges, $7.50 a Box," which decorated tha exterior of an importer's shop. I had always supposed the blood orange was a freak of nature, to be found' seraioccasionally, like a yellow firecracker in a pack of the Golden Dragons brand ; but this, it seems, was a mistake, for the dealer assured me that the r uddy fruit was a distinct variety. "It is artificially produced," he said, "by grafting an ordinary orange tree with the pomegranate. The result is an orange like any other, so far as flavor is concerned, but with red juice that is visible through the skin. It brings a slightly higher price, because it is regarded as a curiosity. The people of Sicily cultivate it mostly. Yes, there are one or two queer kind of oranges I know of. The pine-apple orange, which has something of the pine-apple flavor, is finding its way into the market. Then there is the iiavel' orange, grown extensively in Southern California. It is considered particularly fine, and sells at corresponding prices. The most curious thing about it is the astonishingly accurate imitation of the human umbilicus which ornaments the extremity farthest from the stem. It is from this peculiarity name. These navel oranges, by the way, are of the feminine gender, and have no seeds at all. "I had a few sweet lemons in stock the other day," added the dealer. "They are quite a rarity. People in this part of the world have poor taste in tropical fruit, anyway. They will always pay more for a red banana than for a yellow one, though the former is considered an inferior fruit where both are grown. The lime, too, is far more prized in tropical countries than the lemon, but Northerners think it is only good for pickling." Boston correspond dence Iowa State Register. Extravagance in Colloge. The very parents who speak so bitterly of the encouragement given to young men's extravagance by the modern college life have carefully trained their sons for just the life which they have found. Usually men in moderate circumstances, they have never compelled their sons to earn a dollar in their lives, or to know the cost or value of money, or to deny themselves anything within their reach, or to do anything except spend money when a favorable opportunity offered. The sons, passing for the first time beyond the father's eye, and able to plead circumstances which parents cannot deny from personal knowledge, are in a fair position to deplete the paternal

pocket-book, and have never been trained to relfrain from improving such an opportunity. It in not for his own selfish gratification that the son joins this or that college society, or takes all the college papers, or "goes with the lino" to watch an intercollegiate game ::n another college town, or does any of the other things for which his father !aas to pay, not at all; it is o:aly "aecause he would be ostracised in college if he refrained from imch indulgence. Such are i:he statements which accompany tho periodical petitions for checks; and the ::athert finding it easier to curse college extravagance than to take the trouble of ascertaining the true state of die case, continues his mistraining of the boy by paying his bills until, at the end of the college course, the son is turned loose upon the world, to find at last what a dollar really means. The Cen

tury. Christenings in Transylvania. Two godfathers and two godmothers are generally appointed at Saxon peastint christenings, and it is customary that one couple should be old and the other young; but in no case should a husband and wife figure as godparents at the same baptism, but each one of the quartet must belong to a different family. This is a general custom but in some districts the rule demands two godfathers and one godmother for a boy, two godmothers and oue godfather for a girl. If the parents have lost other children before, then the infant should not be carried out by the door in going to church, but handed out by the window, and brought back in the same way. It should be carried by the broad est streets, never by narrow lanes, else it will learn thieving. The godparents must not look round on their way to church; and the first porson met by the christening procession will decide the Bex of the next child to be born, a boy if it be a man. If two children are baptized out of the same wator, one of them will soon die; and if several boys are christened successively ia tho same church, there vill be war in the land as soon as they t.re grown up. Many girls denote fruitful vintage for the country when they have attained a marriageable age. If the child sleeps during the baptismal ceremony, then it will be pious and good-tempered ; but if it cries, it will be bad-tempered or unlucky ; therefore, the first question asked by uhe parents on the return home from church i3 generally, "Was it a quiet baptism?" and if such had not been the case, the sponsors are apt to conceal the truth. In some places the christening procession returning to the house of the parents finds the door closed. After knocking for some time in vain, a voice from within summons the godfather to name seven bald men oxit of tha parish. When this has been answered, a further question is asked as to the gospel read in church; and only on receiving, "Let the children come to me," is the door flung open, saying: "Come in,, you have barkened attentively to the words of the Lord." Popular Science Monthly Dragons' Bones In Europe fossil bones found together ia caves were long known as dragons' I ones and accounted useful in medicine. Indeed, so great was the demand for these and similar relics that our museums and scientific men have good cause to rejoice that their ancestors f died to discover what stores of old bones lay hidden in our own Beaboard cives, as, for instance, in that wonderful Kirkdale cavern where the mortal remains of several hundred hyenas were found guarding the teeth of a baby mammoth, a patriarchal tiger, a rhinoceros, and a hippopotamus; or the caves along the Norfolk coast where Hugh Miller tells us that within thirteen years the oyster-dredgers dragged up the tusks and grinders of five hundred mammoths ; or those wonderful zoological cemeteries where the foapil bones of cave lions, cave hyenas, elephants, mam moths, hippopotami, woolly rhinoceri, red deer and fallow deer, oxen, sheep, and horses, have lain so securely, stored for untold ages beneath Charing Cross and Trafalgar square. After all, this reduction of pre historic bo3bs and ivory to vulgar powders for medicinal use is not more strange than the fossil food which forms so large a part of the daily bread of multitudes of our fellow-creatures in Lapland, Finland, and Sweden, in Carolina and Florida, on the banks of the Orinoco, and of the Amazon, where vast tracts of eirth are found composed wholly of myraids of microscopic shells, and this strange mountain meal, being duly mixed with meal of the nineteenth century, is freely eaten by the people. In Lapland alone hundreds of wagonloads are annually dug from one great field, and there are men who eat as much as a pound and a half per diem of this curious condiment. We hear of fields, as yet untouched, having been discovered in Bohemia, Hungary, and other parts of Europe ; so perhaps we may ere long add these primeval atoms to the delicacies of our own tables.. The Nineteenth Century, The Territorial Loan Agent "You are accused of holding up a man at the depot, shoving a six-shooter under his nose and making 1dm give you $25," said a justice of the peace to a Dakota loan agent who had beeu brought before him. "Those are about the facts in the cao," replied the loan agent. "Then I shall, be obliged to hold you for robbery." 'Just let me explain how it was. You see he was leaving the country tho train was already iu sight. I knew he had the $25 and there wasn't time to get it any other way. This business mothod may be just slightly irregular, but the time was so short that it was tho best I could do and that's all there is about it. If I had known he was going sooner I should have got him to sign a chattel mortgage and then everything would have been regular." "Well," replied the judge, "if that's tho case I suppose it's all right Try and get the mortgage, though, when yo i can it's more business-like, n Dakota Bell Prejudice, which sees what it pleases, cannot see what is plain. Aubrey de Vere.

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BY BEN: PEBLEY POOBJ5. Tom Corwin once illustrated in a speech the different positions on the slavery question taken by the Democracy in Oho and in New York, by narratiug TJriOM John Shelby's adventures in "running down" a deer. The ground, he siaid, was covered with sis inches of snow, on which the rain had fallen and been frozen, forming u crust sufficiently strong to boar his weight. In the morning ho discovered the tracks of a deer, and started after it with the determination of running it down. After describing tiae course taken, and detailing different incidents that occurred during the chase, he said that about, noon he felt somewhat weary and hungry, and, standing his gun against a fence, ho jumped into a cornfield and pulled some roasting ears, on which he proposed to make a meah "What, Uncle John, snow on the ground and roantmg ears? That won't do," said one of the company. "Hold on, boys," said Uncle John; "I've made a littlo mistake, aud got two stories mixed!" Mr. Corwin thought that the Democracy had gotten their positions on slavery slightly mixed that there was snow in New York and roasting ears in Ohio. Judge Doughs said one day that the first and last duel ever fought in Illinois was in 1820, at Belleville, between Alphonso Stewart and William Bennett. The seconds had made it up to be a sham duel, Stewart, one of the parties, was supposed to be in the secret, but Bennett, his adversary, believe lit to be a. reality. It was supposed that Bennett somewhat expected a trick, and afl er receiving his gun from his second, rolled a ball into it. At the word fire Stewart fell mortally wounded; Bennett was indicted, tried, and convicted of murder. A great effort was made to procure him t pardon, but Gov. Bond would yield to no entreaties, and Bennett suffered the extreme penalty o;! the law by hanging, in the presence of a great multitude of people. Judge Douglas gave great credit, to the prosecuting attorney in this case as having prevented duelling in Illinois by making it a crime. Tlnirlow Weed told a good story in the cloak-room of the Senate one day, about his crony, Dean liichmond, of Albany. Mr. liichmond had a son whose habits we re not consonant with the railroad king's idea of prudence. He was sharp, shrewd, and witty, but was emphatically "one oi: the boys." The paternal purse was long, and his patience stretched out to equal dimensions, but finally the young liichmond wore out the patience, and was told that he must go to work aud earn his own living. Tho old gentleman placed him on one of hid railroad trains, and when the youngster had learned the duties of a conductor, promoted him to that station. One rule of the road was that no one should be dead-headed. Each passenger was compelled to produce a ticket, pay his fare, or ahow a pass signed by the president, Dean liichmond. A few days after young liichmond took charge of a train his father M'as among the passengers. In due course of time the conductor reached the- seat occupied by the old gentleman, and, tapping him on the shoulder, ejaculated : "Ticket, sir Dean made no reply, other than by a good-n atured smile. "Ticket, n said the conductor, emphatically. 'I hive no ticket, you young rascal," said the old ecitleman, warming rip as he noticed uhe passengers giving attention to the scene, "and don't need anv.w "Have you a pass, then?" quoth the conducior. "No !" roared the now wrathy parent; 11 clear out, or I'll discharge you." "If you've neither ticket nojr pass," responded the son., "you must pay your fare." Again the railroad president threatened to discharge the conductor unless he moved on. "Will you pay?" said young liichmond, reaching for the bell rope. '"Pay your fare, or I'll put you off." Remonstrance was vai:i, and tho president was compelled to pay fare on his own road. When his wrath had time to cool he was pleased at tbe young conductor's strict obedience to orders, and con eluded to give him a better chance than punchiiig tickets. The impertinent coolness with which correspondents and stock speculators' agents seek information is illustrated by a story which Just ice Harlan tella of a man who came to his house one night, au entire .stranger, sent in his card, and when tbe judge came down bluntly told him that he proposed to make a fortune for himself and the judge if the latter furnished him information about a certain decision that was pending and was expected to affect stocks. He would furnish the capital and do the trading", dividing the profits equally. The justice waa so completely taken aba.-k by the man's cool impudei.cj that he scarcely knew what to say, but the humor of the situation struck him at once, and he asked the caller if he would pleaso stand up under the ohandlier, whero he could get a good look at his J:ace. The stranger stood tlie scrutiny withoui; flinching. Then said the judge, "My friend, you have asked something that is not only improper and impossible, but voir proposition ought "to tempt me to kick you out of my houae. I scarcely know why I do not feel in the mood to do it. I do not think you are aware of the .significance of your proposition, and therefore I shall not treai; you as I otherwise would. I am not going to enter into a speculation with you, as that would wrong, but I will tell yt-u how you can get the information you seek before any one else." The man's face brightened up, when the justice continued: "On the day when the opinion is delivered cannot tell you when that will be come to the Supreme Court room and take a seat on tha vory first bench, then, as it is read, the sound will reach youjf ears first. Good evenit g. But wait a moment, sir; you should thank me for not kicking you downstairs. A California paper states that a petrified tooth of a shark was picked out of solid rock at a depth of thirteen feet while digging a well at Ni porno il short time ago.. The tooth has retailed its eraiuel and ia highly polished.

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