Bloomington Telephone, Volume 7, Number 51, Bloomington, Monroe County, 3 May 1884 — Page 6

W UBBGCA IKUTSS SPJUXQKI EKOrvThepr'nripal ota an herein narrated, occurred during the 8ammr nf mi. when tba riUmd brides over the Moines lUver, Iowa, ww swap; away by the heavy flood. 1

Two sat tore1 her, a mother and child, In thel homa hv the river wide. In iiaJf irijrhtened whispers the time they bogutted, Tor ne-ce w .e the tempest, th night dark end wild, And madly went toUtes t he tids. Madly went rolling; the tide underneath The bridge where the niche b&m u uwt pass. The two stopped to Usten, with quivering breath. Vat the waves seemed t tell t asm of jvrecfc, and of death. Of wreck and oi deatb alas! The night f relent approached, and came thundering on. If e wild roar outriding the blaat. -Aeraah and a pruaget It feus made its last ran for death and destruction their swift work bad

And the mad waves went hurrying past

young girls of fifteen, npspringm& quick

"Oh, rnr. her. the train bus irone down!

And with trembling hands, and a face like the

dead.

She reached for the lantern that bung over

head, And amid, -They must know tt tn town!

'The passenger train, night express, is soon

erne: What a terrible thing it would be

Should it come on unwarned, and go crashing

down, too!

I must go to the biidge and see wh&t I can da TWk nni. wii'i w iIm mithr fnv ran

Oat into the night, and the storm in its wrath,

Went the child on her perilous way.

The lightning flashed fiercely across her lone path; She wind shrieked its terrible threatenings of

death; But nothing her footsteps could stay.

Her lantern went out; bat undaunted, and

brave, She still Dresses on thro the gloom:

She knows while these lives she is trying to

pare From tle terrible flood, from a watery grave, Her mother prays for her at home, Sba reaches the bridge ; broken raihw open ties, And the dark river senrinff beneath!

Boa hec- through the tempest, the engineer's cries Aa be calls log relief and her prajers swiitly

rise That yet she may save him from doath. The river is angry, the river it wide. And to cross it but few would dre; But she I eeis she must cross to the other side, In spite of the storm and the turbulent tide, For the telegraph station is there. On her hands and her knees o'er the broken rails Creeps this child with a hero's heart Her fleh is torn by the splinters and nails, And at time4 her courage almost tails, The ties ,v so far apart

At last at last she hs reached the shore, And quick to the station flies! Her story is told, the Derfl. is o'er; And fainting and helpless she sinks to floor. While tears diir many eyes

the

Through th darkness of th? midnigfr t, through the driving rain, Through the fearful lightning flashes came the rushing train! Scores of loving hearts it carriedscores of precious lives; Parents with their little children, husband wth their wive; Helpless child en, sturdy manhood, youth, and age were there; 8eme elate wth joy and gladness, some bowed down with a -e. 8ome unto their homes were speeding, seme away were borne; Bat for each were prayers arising for their safe return By pome loving distant watcher. Ah, could they but fcnow What was lyiug just before them! WiU they onward go Te the bridge the maddened river? Was the child too late, After ail her toil aod peril, to avert their fate? HaJ a red light swinging quickly danger signal! See! Tea, tbewtres have borne their message swiftly, fai hf ully. To the nearest point of warning; and they learn how brave Was the child whose courage saved them from a watery grave. , Wnmen wept and strong men shuddered as the tale they beird, Dew this fragile grd to save them had this peril dared. Bow scarce knowing bow exalted was the deed she'd done Deathless love and fadeless lanrali she that night had wont For no nam In song or story E'er we wreathed in brighter glory Than this child's, who e deed sublime Shall be told through coming time

The Weatherby "Wave." Ting-a4ing-ling, rang the door bell si Captain Weatherby's. The captain and his wife were sitting in front of the coal fire in the back parlor, waiting until it should be safe to leave, and seeing many queer things in the glowing ashes. The "help" hey do not keep servants had gone to bed, and the hoxse wss shut up for the night. No ana was expected and it was too late for callers, so mere was a mutual start of alarm on the part of the pair when the front door bell rang in that sudden way. Tin-a-ling-Srling-aling-alingJing! It was really quite hoetly; Mrs. Weatherby said. "Merer me, who is there, do you suppose?" and the captain replied: "Like as not it's a tellygiam." Then he went to the door. The wire oi that indignant bell was stiE vibrating and the tongue itself had junt stopped wagging and yet when the captain opened the door not a soul was viaVle. The soft, light flakes of the last snow of the season drifted into his face, and fell cold and wet on his cheeks. Mrs. Weatherby was close behind him, and exclaimed: "Mercy me! It was nobody?9 "Not even the cat," said her husband K)ld Prim can do a sight c. mischief, but she can't ring doorbells. It was some pesky boy, I suppose, who thought he'd play smart and then run lor it" 'What's that on the door step?" asked Mrs. Weatherby suddenly. "It's a drift," id the captain. "I tell you what, Mary, there'll be a dot' easier to-night, nor eas by nor' with a wind that'll make the aaJs rattle. It's gcttin' up now," and he drew in his tmcovered hand, and was about to shut the hall door. There is something there Silas' said his. wife, 'Tight on the top step. Looks like a bundle.1 The captain peered out again. "It'sright you are, my hearty. Sure as you live it's a basket," and he touched it with his foot "Oh, rtfa the groceries for to morrow; til at careless boy forgot them. No wonder he ran away when he rang the bell! Fetch 'em in, Silas, and leave them in the back parlor to-night Trenail will see thim first thing in the morning!" "Better take them into the caboose I mean the kitchen," said the captain. "No; it's locked up. Put 'era on ths-t chair by the door, light I'm shiverin' with the oold air," and the good womau

down xa front of the comfortable coojs

again.

"We've a heap to be thankful for,

Mary, said the captain thoughfuUy;

"Y-e-3, Is'pose so," tughed his wife;

she was thinking just tlum of two little

graves at Marblehead. They had been

made niarh on to twenty years aero, and

the vacaucy in her heart and lite had

never been hlled.

At that moment a queer little wailing

cry runs through the room. The two

started :uid looked at each other;

"Sakes alive! What was it?" asked

Mrs. Weatherby.

"It came out of that basket," said the

captain; "that fool of a boy has stowed a

hand in the fo castle I mean a kitten.

and he stalked over to it and jerked off

the coyer.

"J5y tne great norn spoon! ne exclaimed as he jumped back about four

feet; "it's a baby."

"Mercy me," said his wife; "where did

it come from?

"From the skies. I should say. that's

what the bell ran for. Well, I must say

tnis 3s an imposition.

Mrs. Weatherby was looking curiously into the basket; ail she saw was rags, two bright, milling eyep, and a little round head covered with dark hair a wee bit

babv. deserter and alone.

. "I'll go for the police," said the cap

tain, anizrilv: "shiver mv timbers uim

going to have people starving their babies on my door step when there'f pla

ces provided for them as are destitute.

The police will make short work of it;

Mary." "Thev won't kill it will they?"

asked Mrs. Weatherby in a horrid

ar tone. "Well, no, wife; that's against the law.

But they'll take it where such waves (he meant waifs) belong. If you ain't afraid

to stay alone 1 11 run out to the next corner and fetch one.

When the captain returned with the

policeman he had to stop and explain the exact spot where they found the basket, how the bell had rung, etc.; and so it was a half hour or more before they got into the back parlor. There Mrs. Weatherby sat with the object rolled up in a table cloth, lying in her lap and basking contentedly in the rays of the fire. "Here we are," said the captain in a brisk tone. "Now Mr. Policeman, you can take the youngster off in the basket it came in, can't you?" "It's a nice boy," said the policeman, looking down on the tiny head basking in the fire light "Girl,7 collected Mrs. Weatherly. "I tell you what, Silas, I think I had better keep the baby till morning. It don't seem exactly Christian to let it go out in the cold to-night again. " "That'll suit me," said the policeman. "It's a good bit from here to the Fondlin's, and it do seem at home, sir." "Very foolish, very foolish, Mary; but have your own way; only don't let me be bothered by its cryin, that's all," said the captain as he ieeped over shyly and stole a look at the "wave." The next morning at 10 o'clock the

policeman was on hand for the baby,

"Now, isn t it too bad, said Mrs.

Weatherby, "bot the fact is it ain't ready," and she slipped some money into the man's hand for his trouble.

"I'm going to look over some things I've

put away," said the poor littlo mother,

'and give it some decent clothes to wear; Would it be too much trouble to ask you

TjO come for it this evening?"

"Certainlv not, ma'am, said the offisy 4 7 7 4 A f 1

cer. as ne went out uaptarn weameroy

looked up from his paper and winked at

irm. j. no cmcer winxea oacK ana loos

ed very knowingly at Mrs. Weatherby.

Such a running and rummaging as

there was in that house all that day! and

by night the baby had quite an exten

sive wardrobe ready; dressed out ia the

little tucked and embroidered baby gown

uhat had been brought out and done up

for it, from the stock that once had be

longed to those other babies who no Longer needed them, it looked like a very

different baby from that in the basket

"It am t such a bad looking wave,

after all," said the captain, bending his

honest red face over it and holding out a

rough and rugged forefinger, which the baby instantly grasped, and laughed and

cooed over it.

"Here's the p'liceman, mum, for the

baby," said Hannah, rushing that func

tionary in.

"Oh" said Mrs. Weatherby, looking;

greatly disappointed, "I'm not half ready

yet!"

"But ti's only the baby, mum, they

wants. One of the foundlings died last

night and this here one is to have ite place," said the man.

"I can't help it said Mrs. Woatlier-

by; "the child won't go till it is ready.

Its clothes are not even packed up yet"

"Ton see, laughed the captain, "my

mate there will want u Baratogrv trunk

for that wave's clothes before she gets through with it Bay, Mr. Policeman.

just as soon as it's ready I'll send for you

to come after it

"Just so, sir." answered the man;

"just so, I'll return to duty, and you can

let me know when missis is ready."

There was an amused twinkle in the

captain's eye, when he saw how je'ieved his wife looked as the man took his departure.

All this happened a year ago. I was

reminded of it by receiving the following

card, which wbs sent out generally by good captaid and his wife:

THE BABY.

Where did you come from, baby deir?

Out of i lie eveiywfcere. into the here. Whercdld yon sret your eyes so blue? Out of the skies a- I came throe, ii.

What makes yoar forenead sm:o'h and high?

A soft h-tnd s toked it, a 1 went by.

Whatmaks yourchekl ke u warm, white rose?

I sawnoin thing- better iav anyone knows. Whence that three-cornered niriite of bliss?

Three an pels cave m j at once a k ss. Where dl t you or ?t tha; coral ear?

God an ok and ii came f.ut to lies.

Where d d yon ro' those aims and hands?

Love made itaelt into bond and band.

whence came your feet dear little thinas? From the same box as the cherul fl' wluca.

How did they alt firnt ora to be yon? t

Ood thooffht about me and bo I crrew. Bat how did yon come to us, yon dear?

uod thought about yon, and so J am here.

Tour prepense is desired at the ohristeniasc party of onr adopted daughter. ETHEL, Wednesday afternoon. January 30, 1881. Oe f mony at 3. MB. AND MBS. SILAS WBATHEBBT,

i

If any one expected a fashionable

gathering it was simply because they did not, know their host and hostess very

well. The great, comfortable house was full of guests, but they we mostly people of the Weatherby stamp; good, plain, sensible souls who did not tro throusrh

life junketing and dancing, so they carried into any occasion of enjoyment in

which they participated art almost child

ish zest And all the ladite purred over

that blessed baby, and all the gentlemen button holod the captain and made him tell the stcry over. "Fomid it on the door step, you say; f-o-xi-n-d i: on the door step? How very remarkable!" And in that very boat basket, I mean grounded is it were at my feet the prettiest wave that ever sti'uck the shoals fox me my eyes, sir!" It was hard to recognize the baby in its pink slip and coral ornaments, but harder to recognize the bosket, for it was one mnss of flowers and, Tied with rose pink ribbons, looked as gay as a peacock. There was only one thing that came near marring the perfect 'enjoyment of the occasion. It was when the minister, a pale, slight intellectual looking young man stepped forward to begin the ceremony in which the "wave" was to have a Christian name, and Captain Weatherby called out: "Ship alfoy!" The good man stopped and looked perplexed. "Stow the prayer, parson," said the captain; "short services on this ship, if you please." The minister smiled and the ceremony pxoceeded, and all the prayers and remarks of the occasion were condensed by the celebrant into a single quotation, "When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will take me up."

Aii Oyster Party Wilson's wife had given him a commission to execute, and, although he was not the purchasing member of the firm, she thought she could trust him to get her some oysters for Sunday dinner. "Now, dear," she said, "you must, you must withdraw your mind from those stupid philosophical studies and don't let the oyster man get ahead of you, for he'll do it if he sees the chance. Now, mind, I want three pints of bulk oysters." "How d'ye sell the oysters?" said Wilson to, the Teutonic fossil who was head clerk and proprietor of the oystershop "Vordy cends by a kwart," replied the fossil "Gimme three pints, then." The oysters were duly dumped into his tin pail and a silver dollar handed over the counter in return. After con

siderable mental figuring 40 cents were handed back in change. Another men

tal calculation, this time on Wilson 4

part !

"How s this, he exclaimed, "I want

30 cents more."

"Ye-es, I pelief dot3. so," said the German, scratching his head in a puz

2led way. "No; holt on. You got dree bints, ain't it V9

"Yes." "Veil, dot's 40 cents py a kwart, nnd

dree bints is den 60 cents ; ain't dot so ?"

"Why, no, of course not," said Wil-

son. xneres tour pints in a quart,

ain't there? So three pints would only be 30 cents."

"Mine friend, yoxi caud blav dot

game on me. Yen I v end on der schule der vos only dwo binds in a kwart"

"Why, you old fool, retorts Wilson,

"I can prove it b,r anybody. Here

Brown, come in here a nimute. How

many pints are there in a quart?"

"Light! exclaimed Brown, readily. "Vot's de metter mit you?" asked the

vender. "Oh, Mr. Shonson, clAist come

auf de sthore voace und dell de chen-

tlemens how many bints vos in a

kwart"

"There's six," exclaimed Johnson,

"either six or four. I don't just re

member which."

"Gott grashious!" exclaimed the ex

asperated fish-monger. "You dinks I

vos a geese, x gxean de wnole stnore mit you oud."

Daring the racket which followed,

a policeman entered, and upon being

told that the oyster-man was trying to sell throe pints of oysters for a quart and a half, he remarked that the new

Superintendent was down on all these

cheatin' hucksters, and so marched the

German off to the calaboose, and Wil

son went home triumphantly and told

his wife about the man who had tried to sell oysters two pints to the quart

Indianapolis Scissor.

The Child's Point of View. To correct jchildren for trifling of

fenses continually, at home or in

school, has a bud effect It is confusing to the child, and does not tend to develop or to cultivate the moral sense. It tends to make distinctions between

right and wrong which do not exist, and for this very reason weakens real ones. It is surprising to see how earl; children begin to look into the hidden things of metaphysics. "Is it realty wrong, mamma," a little boy said the other day, "or only against the law?" The astonished mother questioned the child, found that some one had told him stories of the fugitive slaves, and of the laws of their time, and he had, with the passion for generalizing which many children have, applied hi? knowledge to the circumstances and evejits occurring around him. To be perfectly honest with children, and at the same time to cultivate a power to pass by their small transgressions, which are often committed without premeditation, is sometimes well for both mother and teacher. It is only necessary to think ourselves back to childhood to understand how different the child's point of view is from that of the older person, and to do tlm occasionally would be helpful to most parents' Next) York Font A Queer Parrot. Parrots are queer creatures, and, Lke monkeys, sometimes seem like a very burlesque upon humanity. Ono Softlh A merican bird had ttnf or tu nately learned cn shipboard the habit of pro fane language. The mate, a little ashamed of the creature's piofanity, undertook a cure by dousing it with a bucket of water at each oifense. Polly evidently imbibed the reproof, for during a gale, when a heavy sea broke over a hen-coop, and deluged h ens and cocks pretty thoroughly, she marched up to the dripping fowJs and .screamed out, "Been swearing again, hain't ye?9 Editor's Drawer, in Harper's Mag a zine. Affectkd simplicity is refined imposture. Bovhefoucaull.

AUHICUIiTURAI

Plums thrive best on soil which is rich and naturally moist, but which has also henn well drained, A New York dairyman says that at 3 cents per quart milk is more profitable than butter at 28 cents a pound. It costs, as estimated $400 per acre to transform a swamp into a cranberry meadow; the profits of the business, however, justify even this heavy expense in getting the laud into bearing condition. Different opinions are expressed by fruit growers as to the best time for cutting out the old canes of raspberries after they have done bearing. Some prune out as soon as the crop is gathered; others wait till the leaves have fallen, while a third class do all the pruning early in the spring. Sweet potatoes raised in moist parts of the West the past season are of very poor quality. The flesh is extremely soft and watery. The season doubtlessly had much to do in influencing their quality. The best sweet potatoes are produced during hot and dry summers. The past one was moist and cool. To keep off mice and rabbits wash trees with a mixture of quicklime, sulphur and whale-oil soap. Make the mixture of the same consistency as whitewash for walls. A tablespoonful of sulphur is enough for tMrenty trees. If you object to a whitewash, add enough lampblack to color the mixture. A correspondent of the New York Tribiine recommends a tub largest at the bottom and tapering at the top, of sufficient size to contain a year's supply,

as the best package in which to store pork; If packed properly the meat will not rise in the tub, being held down by the slant of the side. It should be put down edgeways in laying as solid as possible. The different varieties of potatoes were discussed at a meeting of the Ohio Horticultural Society. Mr. Campbell had grown the mammoth pearl for two years, and found them healthy and handsome, but lacking in quality. Col. Innis had raised twenty acres of them and regarded them excellent They sold freely in Columbus. Mr. Pinkham intended t o discard mammoth pearl and raise only snowilake, which he found better and superior to early rose. G. H. Miller fonri'd mammoth pearl a

fine yielder, but not quite of the best quality. Mr. Innis had tried snowfiake, but never got anything valuable from it So the doctors disagreed, as to

taste, treatment, soil, time of planting,

etc. The Swiss cow is large bodied, but fine boned, of the style of a shorthorn ; the horns are large, short, clear and tipped with black ; the color is chestnut brown, mixed with white; the nose, tongue, hoofs and switch aro black; a mealy-colored band surrounds the black nose; the udder and teats are large and well formed, and while thev differ to a great extent from our common notions about the right form which a cow should have, yet they are excellent and profitable cows, yielding twenty or twenty-five quarts daily, and the milk is rich in butter of an excellent quality. The skin is yellow, soft,' elastic and covered with soft silky hair; they carry remarkable escutcheons and are extremely even in appearance, showing careful and good breeding, for a con

siderable length of time. Seed Corn. The Germantown Telegraph says it is not sufficient that seed will merely grow. There are degrees of vitality. Some will grow when 'the conditions are all favorable, but perish or have a sickly growth if vic;ssitudes occur. Seed corn should be so full of vitality that cold or wet will not prove fatal. A good practice for large corn raisers is to plant a small piece with the very best type of seed and under the very best conditions of ground, preparation, and culture. From tiiis select seed for the main crop, and again select from this the approved type and the best for the next year's patch for seed. This practice continued may be expected to secure a uniform type of corn and more constitutional vigor. The great American crop is worthy of our mont careful study, in order to achieve the best possible results. Hints on Poultry Raising. Mr. A. M. Halstead, an Eastern poultry raiser and the author of a recent work on artificial incubation, gives the following suggestions on the location of a yard and the construction and the arrangement of the buildings: In the

first place, the site of the yard should be a dry situation, with a southern or southeastern slope. If on the bank of a lake or pond, well; but a small running stream is preferable, A rough piece of land, with some underbrush or rocks, is not objectionable, unless the rocks are broken or piled up, so as to make a harbor for rats or weaslos. Some underbrush is desirable for shade. Currant bushes make good shade, and their fruit is good for the fowls. In the buildings to shelter the fowls it is better to have a number of small houses rather than one of large zize for the breeding stock. A convenient as well as an economical wav is to build each house double, that is to shelter two yards of fowls, letting the dividing fence join the house in the center. Houses twelve feet long by six feet wide will make two apartments, each large enough to accommodate fifty hens and four cocks, which are as many as should be kept together. Ventilation must not be overlooked, and in hot weather should be ample. The yard for this number of fowls should not be less than one-eighth of an acre, twothirds of which should be in grass; the remainder should be in bare earth and should be plowed or spaded in alternate portions every week. A small shed, not necessarily over three feet high should be constructed ind under this prepare the dusting ground on fine sand, wood ashes and a little tobacco dust In another part of the yard place a trough or shallow box, in which keep a supply of fine gravel. In case, however, the soil of the yard is gravelly this is not necessary. In fencing the yards the height of fences will have to be regulated by the breed of fowls kept The Asiatic fowls will stay in side of almost any sort of inclosnre while the Leghorns nnd other lightbodied fowls will readily fly over a

fence six feet hight. In addition to the building for the breeding stock, there M ill be required a setting or hatching room, a nursery for the young chicks, which should be partially covered with glass, and a second building into which they can be removed when five or six weeks old. The size of these buildings is of course to bo governed by the extent of the business.

HOUSEKEEPERS' HELPS.

Oyster Plant Stewed. Scrape and throw at once into cold water with a little vinegar to it to keep them from turning black. Cut in small nieces, or

boil whole for an hour. Mash fine and season; or drain the pieces dry, and serve with drawn butter. Brandy Sauce. Two tablespoonfuls of flour, and two of butter, mix to a smooth paste, add boiling water by de-; grees until perfectly light and smooth, flavor with nutmeg, the juice of a lemon and a wineglassful of wine or brandy ;j sweeten to taste with whlie or brown sugar. It should be of the consistency of starch. Apple Tapioca Pudding, Put soaking over night one teacupful of pearl tapioca. In the morning add a quart of sliced apples, one teacup sugar, a little salt and cinnamon or nutmeg, and water enough to cover the apple. Bake; slowly two and one-half hours, stirring it occasionally. Serve with sugar and' cream, or witih either alone. 1 Parsnip Fritters. Wash and scrape; three large parsnips clean ; cut length-! wise in halves, and boil an hour, or two if very old. Mash fine; add two well-' beaten eggs, half-a-teaspoonful of salt, a salt-spoonful of pepper, twot tablesnoonfuls of milk, and one heaping, one of flour. Drop in spoonfuls, and' fry brown in hot fat or butter. Oyster-j plant fritters are made in the same way.; Baked Macaroni. Wash the maca-l roni and put it in a sauce-pan, with suf-1 ficient water to cover it; boil a half-, hour ; put alternately in a pudding-dish a layer of boiled macaroni and grated; cheese ; seasoning each layer of maca-! roni with salt and pepper ; have the top layer of cheese with a tablespoonful of butter in the center; pour over it half-a-pint of sweet milk; bake a halfhour. A Nice Pudding. A cheap and easily prepared dessert may be made on any bread-making day with breaddough. Into one pint of dough work one-fourth cup of butter, three-fourths cup of sugar, one teaspoonful of cloves and cinnamon each: when well-mixed add three-fourths cup of raisins. Put it into a well-buttered dish and let rise like bread, then steam it two hours. Serve hot with maple syrup or sauce. Milk Soup. Four potatoes; two on

ions; four pints boiling water; ono pint of milk; two ounces of butter ; two large tableapoonfuls sago or crushed tapioca. If sag o is used, soak one hour in a little water. Mode: Put onions, potatoes,! butte r , salt, and pepper into a stew-pot' with the water. Bod about one hour; or till soft enofrgh to rub through a, sieve. Wash stew-pan and return thej soup to the fire. Add the milk. Wheni boiling, sprinkle in sago and boil fifteen' minutes or sag is clear. Raised Muffins. One cup of milk; one-fourth cake of compressed yeast dissolved in one-half cup of warm water,(or one-fourth cupful of home-made yeast), one tablespoonful meiiad butter; three cups of flour; one egg. Mode: Beat egg, add pinch of salt, butter and yeast to the milk. Stir gradually into the flour. Beat until tho batter is light and smooth. Mix it up over night. In the morning, beat it up. Fill buttered muffin-pans two-thirds, to the top with the butter, and let them stand in a warm place until the batter has risen to the brim. Bake half-an hour. Country Butter. "Talk about creamery butter," sdid a grocer on Woodward avenue, "give me the old-fashione;l-:weet-cream-home-made-churned butter in the country, like this," and he laid a roll on the counter and proceeded to butter some crackers. 'Jh! what's that?" inquired a customer, "Country butter! Let me taste it" So more crackers were buttered.

which he ate greedily. "How much of that butter have you got?" he asked, wiping his chops with a smack of satisfaction. "Took the most of it home to my

own family. Col. M bought some, and will be in after the rest You see it isn't easy to get Juno, clover-fed cream butter at this time of year. You couldn't find a pound in any other store in town," said the grocer very proudly. "Send me up the lot9 said the customer; "I don't want any creamery butterine after eating that You can't fool me on genuine butter. I was brought up on a farm, I was, and know good butter when I see it" And he paid for his goods and went out. "Where did you strike that butter?" asked a man who was eating prunes and pickles near the stove. "Down at the factory where they make it," replied the grocer calmly. And tho beating of their own hearts was all the sound they heard. Detroit Free Press. The First Model of a Human Head, The first per? on who became a model is said to have been a lover and lived in the ancient days of Greece. He was about to travel and leave his Sicyon, and after a repetition of vo ;vs of constancy on both sides he fell asleep, and from the position of the lamp his profile was thrown strongly on the wall. The maiden in passing through the room observed this, and, taking up a piece of charcoal, sketched the outline of the shadow. The father, when he saw what had been done, thought it welL to preserve it in day, and taking some of the material in which he worked, made the first model of a human head. . They Never Come Singly, The father gazed at the triplets, the first born, snugly reposing in the cradle, and remarked to the nurse : "Are they boys or girls?" "All girls, the little dears. What treasures they are!" "Yes, little fortunes, as it were; little Missfortunes," -Philadelphia Call

PITH 1D P-OIHXL

The mosquito'u auger is an appropriation bill. A miser is often surprised at close "quartors." When does a tree feel contented? When it's sappy. It i not right to make game of ft man out of season. The reason why a woman always adds a postscript to her letter is because she's bound to have the last word if she has to write it herself. Said the Colorado man: "No; we never committee suicide by hanging in our State. A man doesn't want to be suspected of being lynched." Two marriage certificates, confront ing a man at the same time, are a de moralizing in their tendencies as ft mortgage coming due. Carl PreteeV Weekly, A Texas man will go four of five miles to get a drink. A Vermont man won't. He'll just hang around the gin mill all the time, and never allow hamself to get four or five miles from it Only an acre of leather.

Laced wi h a lurlon? of twine Shntftinff over a cross. nar B aring a figure divine. Ono after the other they're lifted And tall with a horrible thud The feet of a Syracuse damsel Splashing along thromra the mad. Utica Observer, "Is youb wife acquainted with the dead languages?" asked the professor of a Newman man. "Maybe she is," was the reply, "but 1 he language she uses is entirely, too warm to have been dead very long. Newman Independent Farmer I don't know what to do with that old plow- Citizen Beal old? Farmer Yes; in fact it's too old for any more use. Citizen Sell it to the first minstrel show that comes along., They always use old things. Breaks fast Table. "So you've got a piano, Mrs. Biten said one lady to another. "Yes, we've had it for three months." "How did you get it ?" " Got it from a man down town." "Did you take it for debt, like we did?" "Oh, no; but Biten says it will be taken for debt, if he doesn't pay the second installment pretty soon." Merchant Traveler. Beecheb says four-fifths of the people in heaven will be women. That is' all right enough. Nobody ought to kick about that Four-fifths of the women are better than men, anyway, and they ought to go to heaven. But1 according to that story, what a stag party there is going to be standing around the fire in the other place. Peck's Sun. "Oh, the road is smooth enough, said the placid conductor to the com plaining passenger. "There isn't a smoother road-bed in the United States. It's the cars that jolt Company took the springs out last week, to oil them, and didn't get them back in time for this trip." And the complaining passenger grumbled no more, for he felt that he was in the presence of the Star Liar. Haiv keye. From Pat in America to his sweet heart in Ireland : "O, Bridget, dear, Be commg here, R eht to the arms of Pat; Dcnt stay aicay Another dayBe ai ter minding that" To which Bridget replies: "O. Pat, my lad Now dn't feel bad . I've married Barney Bae; And wev a b y. To give yon joy, I've named the child forf on." THE BLOKE, TO HIS CHUlOfT. "Hey. Jimmie! are y wld met I'm on a lay to stag a take Hank your boodle, if 'a a graft, An' l'se sure to give yer rake." - "Yes, Jerry lad, I'm wid ya. Bee jer lift, troo tick au tin: We's te-a-ker blokee, ws la, In our luah bees always gta. We been pals for many years; Jim lnce der time we did a K; Dfy nabbed uk in der crib, Jim, D 'beaks nailed ua at onr tricks. "We didn't stay fur long, Jim, Its hard to holl di-t crook; I knows ye'll kerp em to yerselt, Per means by which we anook. "loy ony yanked na once, Jim, 3 nee den we'et both got fly. An dey never more will scop us 'Cause we does tinsra on der sly. "Each nicrhN down to der boozin ken, We'll meet at nine, olv Jim, An no matter w'at de game may be Our lnh will rill he gin, Wnu J1, Jr., in The Judge.

The Aspects of the Bodj. It may seem a dream to those who have not thought npon the snbject to suppose that any connecting link can be found between such animals as worms, mollnsks, Crustacea, spiders and insects, on the one hand and fishes, amphia, reptiles, birds aod mammals on the other. Yet it is a significant fact that if any one of the iirst series of animals be turned npon its back, the heart, nervous system, stomach, etc., stand in precisely the same relative po sition to each other as they do in the latter series. The only thing that differs in position is the month, which in the first series opens out between the two nervous gangha which form the brain, and is directed toward the side of the body on which the nervous axis is situated, and in the second series opens out beneath the brain, and on the opposite side of the body to that occupied by the nervous axis. Prof. Owen believes that certain structures which are situated in the center of the brain of back-boned animals, and hare known use, are remains of the primitive course of the upper part of the gullet, and show the vertebrate developed from the invertebrate. Pittsburgh Dis patch. Plain EusriLslu An old minister in Ohio seemed rather opposed to an educated ministry. Said he: "Why, my 'brethering, every young man wtm is going to preach thinks he must be off to -some college to study a lot of Greek and Latin. All nonsense! All J wrong. What did Peter and Paul know about Greek? Why, not one word, my 'brethering.9 No, Peter and Paul preached in the plain, old English, and so il LnCteveAand Plaindealer.

It requires a good deal of effort to love a poor man and many him, but it is easy enough to love a rich man. If you have a chance you will be glad to show how simple a tiling it is.