Bloomington Telephone, Volume 7, Number 50, Bloomington, Monroe County, 26 April 1884 — Page 3

Bloomington Telephone

BLOOMINGTON. INDIANA. WALTER a BRADFUTE. - - PumjSHKfc

Mrs. Glkxn, colored attended a religious revival at Helena, Arkansas, and liecame so enthusiastic with the service thai; she began to note her approval by a series of shouts. An attempt was made by the deacons to stop her, but to no avail. She continued to shout till 1 o'clock in the night. She died still shouting. The physicians pronounced her death to have been caused by overexertion. The Lancet reports a lecture on tea and coffee, in -which people axe advised to put the coffee for breakfast in an earthenware vessel, pour cold water over it, let stand over night, and bring it to the boiling point by placing it in a water bath or double boiler in the morning, thus preserving all the aroma. As the editor pronounces the lecture as being "perhaps the most brilliant since its series was begun," the writer has no

doubt tried the plan. A Nkw Ycbk woman has made a practice of bringing suits for damages against saloon-keepers of whom her husband obtained his 'drink, fdleging that his capabilities for earning wages had been reduced by his drunkenness from $30, per week to $3 or $4, .and stating the damages ai$5,0(HX In three or four cases she appears to have allowed a large discount for cash, settling the matter for $100. In the latest case the defendant wouldn't settle, and the jury gave her a verdict for $500s. The American fondness for giving a xn&n a title is illustrated in the frequency with which the Vermont Senator is called Judge Edmunds, the fact being that he never occupied a position on the bench. Another popular blunder about Mr. Edmunds is the common idea that he is an old man. There is a certain venerable aspect about his head, but it is calculated to deceive, for he is really only fif fcy-six years old, or but two years the senier of either Arthur or Blaine, while he is younger than Tilder. by four tec-n years, and Payne's junior by nearly score of j ears. The King of Italy has offered a gold medal to the Italian wine-grower who ahull produce the best effervescing wtite wine as a substitute for champagne. Sparkling Asti and other Italian wines of the foaming class bear already a certain resemblance to champagne, and a still greater resemblance to sparkling Moselle ; for they are sweet and, takes in generous quantities, are

apt to give headache. The Italian

champagne must be dry; but this in

dispensable condition offers no difficulty, for Capri is scarcely sweeter than the natural wine of Champagne before the syrup is added in the process of turning it into effervescing wine. An Ekgxjsh writer on gymnastic exercises says that gymnastics in any technical sense remained unknown in modern Europe until about 1774, when, at an educational establishment founded at Dessau, physical exercises were introduced as part of the system. Soon afterward a certain Galsmuths of tiotha published a work on gymnastics, and promoted the practice of them in many places. But in Germany it was Jahn rf Berlin who first started a public gymnasium, in 1811. His establishment, with several others which had been founded in imitation of it, was rlosed m 1816 by the police, on the ground that they were used as places of political intrigue. A royal decree at last reestablished their legality in 142, and since that time they have flourished more in Germany than elsewhere. According to the dying confession of Charles Kett, of Dayton, Ohio, his mother, who died a few weeks ago, told him on her deathbed that she slew her daughter, a young lady of 1$ in a moment of violent rage tbe 11th of January, 1867. The fatal blow was struck with an ax-helve, but the murderess tried lo make it appear that the young lady shot herself. Some powder was burned near the face of the unfortunate girl, and her brother s pistol was placed near the body. For years after the tragedy lbs. Rett suffered intense mental agony. She wandered about from place to place but could find no peace. She had, as she said in her . dying confession, constantly before her the frightened face of her poor 'laughter. Several persona, including a brother and a lover, were arrested soon after the murder for complicity in the crime, and detained in custody for a considerable time. The revelations of Kett have created quite a sensation.

papers. One night oar gan;2 didn't knew where to go for the evening. One wanted to go to a French ball, another to the theater, another to a cock-fight, and all had their preferences. But where do yov suppose I wanted to go?

Thnt afternoon I had seen a sign out : 4Dog against Coon; to-night Col. Snelling's, coon will try to whip Major Baker's dog. Judges Sheriff So-and-so and Judge Somebody. Admission 25 cents.9 I wanted to see this fashionable event, but the boys dragged me off to see Deacon Smith play high-ball poker. Great place to sport, that New Orleans,

OnoAOo Herald: "New Orleans beats all the places ever I saw for sport,9 said Judge Thoman, of the Civil Service Commission, as he journeyed north ward at government expense, after a long trip to the South ditto. "Down here they sell lottery tickets on the streets as we see newspapers sold on the streets in the North, and I believe the lottery tickets sell faster than the

There are all kinds of rings in the business aud political world, but the greatest oi all is the one which is forming outside the atmosphere of the earth. There are people who gravely maintain that the extraordinary sunsets and sunrises which have been noticetftior months are due to the formation of a ring or rings around our earth, similar to those revealed with the telescope encircling the planet Saturn. No scientist of note has dared, as yefc, to seriously consider this theory, but these sunsets are, nevertheless, as great a mystery as ever. Tlkat they are dne to moisture in the atmosphere, or to dust hurled up in the air at the volcanic eruptions last summer in, Java, is now discredited. A lady has ventured the surmbe that the red sunsets are due to an effort on the part of the sun to adjust itself to the mw standard time; but, of course, this is a joke. It is clear that there are more things in heaven and earth unexplained than are dreamed of, not only by the philosophy but by the science of modern times. A movement is on foot to build, at Mitchell, Dakota Territory, a monument in memory of tbe homestead law and its authqgr. A National Homestead Monument Association lns been formed, and its general agent is in "Washington, asking from Congress a grant of one township 23,040 acres of the public domain to aid in the enterprise. It is proposed to build a monument 160 feet high one foot for each acre in a homestead entry divided above the pedestal into five equal parts, eacli representing one year of the five years' residence required to perfect tie settler's title under the homestead act The monument is to bo surmounted by a figure of Columbia delivering the patent earned by five yec-rs of actual residence and cultivation. The pedestal is to be .forty feet square representing the four legal subdivisions of a homestead. Grouped about the column which springs from this are to be statues of Gaiusha A. Grow and other public men who were especially active in securing the passage of the homestead

law.

Congress has practically decided to send out an expedition to relieve Lieutenant Greely and his party, and bring them back to their own country. Old sea captains say that in all probability an expedition could now reach the North Pole. There have already been disturbances in that region of a very unusual character. Icebergs rarely make their appearance in the North Atlantic before June or July ; in Mav they are very rare; but this year they made their appearance early in February, and vessels were destroyed by them off the hanks of Newfoundland during that month. The recent heavy fogs and rainy weather have been attributed to the presence of these icebergs in mid-ocean at this unusual season of the year. The earthquake and volcanic eruption last summer at Java may have had its analogue somewhere in the frigid zone, breaking up the huge fields of ice, driving the bergs far out to sea. Volcanic eruptions and hot springs of water are as liable to make their appearance in the frigid as in the torrid Kone. There is abundant evidence of continuous volcanic action as far north as Iceland. Should the guesses of the tea captains prove true, peihaps the road may be opened this summer to some point nearer the Pole . than has ever been reached. It is a curious fact that we know more about the Polar region of the planet Mars than wo do about that of our own earth. With a very ordinary modern telescope the amateur astronomer can distinctly see the extent of the ice ocean which surrounds the poles of Mars. But we will never be ble to explain cur poles fully until some motor is inven ted which will enable us to navigate the air.

AGRICULTURAL.

Justifiable Misleading. "I made no false statement," said Wendell Phillips once to a critic of one of his speeches ; "I simply rectified a fact that had no business to be a fact." "But." said the other, "your statement was misleading." "Did it mislead you?" was the retort; "well, it is necessary to mislead some people in order to guide them right Remember how Faddy had to drive his pig one way in order to make him go the other." Don't get gloomy over a loss. It is hard sometimes to be cheerful under such circumstances. It is best, though, for cheerfulness will incite you to new life, and show you a way out of trouble. Cheerfulness is more than resignation; it is resignation that smiles and sings. True patience is the patience of hope.

Soapsuds is especially reliable as a fertilizer for small fruits. Mulching is fully as beneficial for raspberries and blackberries as to strawberries, yet few seem to think so. If the mulching consists of good stablo manure the canes will make an excellent growth, and tho -crop of fruit be greatly improved in size and quality. Plakts for tho house should be of the kinds that will hew a tropical heat, otherwise the dried air produced by furnace or stove will rapidly destroy them. Boxes and brackets for the windows should always be placed low, as the air in any apartment nearer the floor is better for the planis. See, too, that they have both light and sunshine, without which they cannot thrive. Tun best treatment for hens that want to set when you don't want them to is to take them from the nest and put them into a large coop in the open air, then feed them well on the same feed given to tho laying hen. In many cases the former commences to set when she is in good condition to keep on laying. She needs perhaps the material for eggshell, which may easily be supplied. Success ingrowing strawberries may be made much more certain by covering the plants with a very light material during winter. Straw and forest leaves in equal parts make about the best covering known to fruit growers. A mixed covering of these materials will not settle down solidly, as any kind of heavy material will do, to exclude the air and smother the plants. An English fanner asserts that he has raised or, rather, would have raised, had not some malicious cuss pulled the stalk up before the ears sot j 100 ears of Indian corn from a single kernel. He says he planis a single grain in hills three feet apart each way. it will strike the American that what that Englishman don't know about raising Indian cc"rn would fill a goodsized book. Prof. SanijorV says that the best ration he has ever kr.own fed to sheep was composed of one bushel of flaxseed to fifteen bushels of a mixture of equal parts, by weight, oats, peas, and millett. All was finely ground together. Each sheep was fed two pounds of this ground mixture with hay, and made a regular gain of three pounds each week, besides growing an unusuidly fine staple of wool.

It is usually supposed that tho russet stripes on apples arc caused by the flower being fertilized with pollen from a russet apple tree, and that the frequent and peculiar red streaks on white apples are caused in the same way. Prof. Beal, of Michigan, has recently been experimenting on the crossing'bf apples, and he finds that he cannot produce these markings by this means. He concludes that they are only spots, and that an apple can not probably bo improved or affected by the act of fertilizing with pollen from another flower. In pituMXo Tit ees, the stump of the amputated limb should never be left projecting from the trunk of the tree, as it is too often done. The sap of the tree, after ascending from the roots to the leaves, again returns to the roots, and so on, and it is thus that the successive layers of wood in tho trunk and branches of the treo are formed If then, in pruning, the limbs be trimmed close and even with the surface of the trunk, the wound thus made will soon beal, new wood and new bark will grow over, and the trunk will not decay. The spring is perhaps the best time for pruning. A Missouri fai'mer writes: My plan of planting and cultivating artichokes is to cut into pieces, leaving two eyes in a piece, planting in hills, two cuts in a place, tho hills eighteen inches apart &nd the rows four feet apart. Cultivate the same as potatoes ; keep clean, and keep the soil well stirred. Artichokes are generally late about setting the tubers. They are a goo.l, nutritious hog feed. The best plan of feeding is to fence off the plat to itself aud turn the hogs in and let them help themselves. They will turn tho soil over well in getting thd roots, and will leave enough to insure a good crop the next year. One planting will in this way last some time, hut I find it good policy to dig a lew of the best and plaut at least every three year's, to keep tip the quality. The Ayrshire as a Family Cow. As a family cow no animal is superior to the Ayrshire. She is uniashkmable, almost unknown, because un boomed, but her good qualities are many and great. To the question, Why do the Ayrshires not catch the popular fancy aud sell for higher figures? the answer has been, "They are not in color, size, and butter qualities distinct enougli and superior enough to the common or native cow of the country." The facts are that the milk of the Ayrshire is unsurpassed as food by that of any other breed. In its whole or unskimmed condition it is not too rich in fat even for the stomach of the most delicate invalid or of the newborn babe. It is rich in muscle and bone-making mater ial, which is required for the rapid and healthy development of children and invalids and to sustain the working force of the healthy adult. There U in her milk enough butter to supply the average family, and the slummed' milk of the Ayrshire is better food for humanity than is the whole milk of cows of other breeds. Experiments carefully conducted where many cows were kept for experimental purposes have proved that for combined butter and cheese production the Ayrshire is superior to all other breeds. The yield of milk U large, long continued, and uniform. The remarkably healthy and rugjred constitution of the Ayrshires enables them to bear exposures to storms and cold without fluttering, and, like their long-haired fellow Scots, the Galloways and West Highlanders, they will seek the open field and there contentedly munch straw or rough grasses when other cows stand on the sunnv side of the barn pinched and shivering with every passing breath of wind. This sturdy activity and ability to withstand cold makes the r flow of milk uniformly large when the flow of other ?ows is reduced materially by exposure. Ayrshire is spirited and indepenient, but responds very readily to kind

treatment, and when so treated is gentle and affectionate. It may be unfortunate for tho interests of the Ayrshire breeders that they have been content to run a waiting race and have made not tho slightest effort to ercato a "boom" which should carry prices of their long tried and trusty favorites up to fanny liguvoa. But it is a fact that, pure bred Ayrshires can be bought for little more than the price of native cowj-j of no definite breed mr. They have nob been Imnl for the development of any one fancv colo' but for the improve meut of their milking qualities. Thow have not the placid and gentlo expression and deer-like appearance of the graceful Jersey, nor have they been written up by scores of able and enthusiastic admirers. But they will make as great an average quantity of butter and cheese in a vear as will nnv other cow, while their milk is more perfect m its adaptability to the general uses of the family than any other. Chicago Tribune. , 110 U3EK E KP A 11&LP&

A Nice Supper Dish. Fry one pound of veal in Lot lard, having first; cut it iu strips about two inches wido, and three or four long; when nearly done, add a little butter and half a pint of oysters chopped or cut in small pieces; season with pepper and salt; servo hot with or without toist. Apple-Custard Fie. To make an apple-custard pie, take one pint of sweet milk: and one pint of apple sauce; beat this sauce till it is smooth and entirely free from lumps; then stir it in the milk; sweeten this well a goc d full cup of sugar wilt bo needed, and if the apples are tart more will bo required ; to this add three well-beaten eggs, flavor with lemon, and bake with under crust only. OnAXCiKs for tuk Tea Taiile. The Michigan Farmer says : Oranges make a nice change on the table. Fare, removing as much of tho white as possible, slice thin, and lay in your best glass sauce dish. Sprinklo plentifully with powdered sugar, and add dassicated cocojnut if liked. Let stand half an hour or so before using. A verv daintv dish is made bv slicing oranges and pineapple together and dusting with sugar. Sugar Pop-cokn. Put into an iron kettle one tahlespoonful of butter, three of water, and one teacupfnl of. white sugar; boil until ready to candy; tlien throw in three quarts of corn nicely popped : stir briskly until the candy is evenly distributed over the corn; set the kettle from the fire, and stir it until it has cooled a little, and you have each grain separate and crystallized with sugar. Nuts of any kind prepared in this way are delicious. Tapioca Prnuixa. Wash one cup of pearl tapioca, and soak it over iv'ght in a pint of cold water. About an hour and a half before dinner add to the tapioca one more cup of waer and one of milk, and a little salt. Faro four or Ave sour apple, cut the:n in halves core thorn and lay on the top, pressing them down until they are on a lovel with tho tapioca. It is best baked in an earthen dish, and must be cooked slowly. It is done when the tapioca is clear and the apples tender. Figs von Dfsskkt. Cream tigs for dessert are prepared in tin's way : ' Beat the white of one or two eggs (according to the quantity you wish to serve) ; when very still', so that you can almost turn the platter upside down without the egg running off; stir in as much powdered sugar as you can and yet leave tho frosting so that you can dip the figs in it. If the tig is not entirely covered at the -ftrt dipping repeat the process; let them dry in the heater or on a shelf over the stove. Boston Bakkd Beans. Pick over the beans, rejecting all the imperfect ones; sDak them over night; in the morning parboil them till the skins crack open, dip them from the kettle with a perforated skimmer into a glazed earthen pot; salt to taste. Put in the top of the pot a piece of fat salt pork with the rind scored, cover with water, put on a cover of dough or tin and bake in an oven, not very hot, for six hours. If fhe oven is of brick they may be put in at nip ht and remain till morning. Butter or saet may be used instead of pork. Sometimes a tahlespoonful of molasses is put in when the salt is added. Too Big. Big things are not often useful or profitable. Bulky, uuwieldy property that a person can do nothing with, is very forcibly characterized by the phrase. "He has an elephant on his hands." Many great works of human skill and boldness, however, that are too big to be profitable, are not to big to be useful, and the following pertinent remarks of the Railway Age are rather suggestive than absolute. Whether the great, bridge between New Yurk and Brooklyn will pay even a low rate of interest on its cost, besides the large sum which will be required each yar lor repairs, is not at all certain. It seems as if there was a limit in ize for structures of all kinds, which it is not profitable to overpass. The Great Eastern steamship, while ifc was in many respects a mechanioal success, was, on the whole, a great failure. Locomotives beyoffd a certain weight are not profitable. The wide gauge for railways has been abandoned, because the narrower one was found to be best adapt-! to all tho conditions involved. The use of driving wheels of very large diameter on passenger locomotives was continued for only a comparatively short time. Nature herself, while she may produce the immense, does not obtain from it her effective uses. The vast proportions of tho London dray-hoivte can be profitably employed only in a narrow range of conditions. The giant grenadiers, whom Frederick I, ransacked all Europe to obtain, were not effective soldiers in the held, it is tho man of average size who is onduring, alert, adapted to all tho varied demands of practical life. In the case of both machines and men the gigantic is not, all things considered, the most serviceable. "Ladies are requested to take off their bonnets' appears on tho play bills of a theater at Berlin.

Legs Instead of the Lord. A very old negro, with his hair tied in tho.se mvsterious twist which tho art of the white man has failed to imitate, sat on u log near a small cabin, muttering in discontent. "What's tho matter, old man?" asked a white preach or, en route to fill an appointment. "Trouble o' de church, mister; trouble o' de church." And turning, he cast a significant glance ct tho cabin. "What is the trouble, old man? I am a minister of the gospel, and doubtless I can assist you." "Ef you'se a minister o' de kine o' gospel what Fs besn uster fur de las' week, Fse sprized ter see dat yer head ain't tied up. Fs a preacher myself, pah. Had charge o' a congregation for some time, but my wife she took it into her head datde udder church was de bos.' Wal, I let her go, cu.se it ain't wuth while ter try tor hole a 'oman. But she wan't satisfied wid uis. She wanted ter fetch her preachers ter my house. Didn't mine dis so much, but, ding it, she wanted ter gin 'em de best vidduls on de place. When my 'pan ions would come tdie'd stew ip a lot o bacon fur 'em, an' treat 'em lapk da wan't nobody. Yistidy, a row-legged fellow lie come. I seed my wife chasin herse'f roun' de yard, an' s I, 'What you gwine ter do?" "KiIl a chichen fur de parson,' s' she. Blarae cf you kills a fowl fur dat nigger,' a' I. 'Case I ain't gwine ter put up wid dem sorter tricks no longer '& I. 'Who's yon talkiu ter?' so she. 'Ter ycrse'f,' s' I. "She didn say annudder word, but gidderin up a stavo frum de ash hopper, she gin me a dif dat fotch a hunnerd stars an' do moon right down afore me. Dis wan't de treatment what I was looking fur, an' grabbin' holt do 'oman, I was chokin' her onten shape when dat bow-laiged man he hopped out, grabbed up suthin' au' laid me mighty low. When I come ter myse'f, my wife an' dc bow-laiged man was er settin' at de table er chawin' fitter kill darselfs, an'I wan't no whar. I seed dat it wouldn'do fur mo to go progikin roun dar, so I goes out ter de stable an' sociated wid de mule. I staid on de outside till dis morn in, an' den thinks, s I, dar ain't no mo' danger, so I'll go ter do house. But bless von! do 'oman flung a cup o' hot water on me, an' lif tin herse'f lack a wile hog tole me not ter come inter de house." "Look out!" lie cried, a a skillet came flying over the fence, "Dat 'oman ain't dun got oberher tantrum yit.'1 "My friend," said the white minister, "Your cise is indeed a sad one. Let us get down here and prajf "or a better state of affairs' "Uh huh dat 'oman 11 slip up on me ef I does. Uo on an' lobe de ole man. In dis matter it's a case o' laigs stead de Lawd. Wish you mighty well wid yer good work, sail," and, as a vicious woman appeared at the fence with a brick-bat. he turned, struck a trot, and added: "Doan' yer see dat it's laigs 'stead o' de Lawd?" Tehran SiftinffS. Authorship of the Book of Mormon. The Presbyterian Observer throws a new light on the authorship of the Book of Mormon. The book, it says, has commonly been credited to the Rev. Solomon Spalding, a Presbyterian minister -a romance purporting to give the origin and historv of the American Indians. Jle sought to find a publisher for this story in Pittsburgh, but wan unsuccessful. Tho author died a few years inter. The manuscript of this story unaccountably disappeared, though it was generally believed that one Sidney Rigdon, a printer, afterward a Mormon Bishop, got possession of the same, altered and added to it, aud, thus altered and amended, was sent forth to the world as tho Mormon Bible. This point is explained by the following letter from Mr. James Jafl'ries, of Harford County, Maryland, whose boyhood was spent a few miles from Pittsburgh. He says.: "I know more abont the Mormons than any man east of the Alleghanies, although I have given no attention to the matter for twenty-live years. I did not know I was in possession of any information concerning the origin of the Book of Mormon unknown to others, I supposed that as Rigdon was so opo i with me, he had told others the same things. Forty years ago I was in business in St. Louis. The Mormons then had their temple at Nauvoo, Illinois. I had business transactions with them, Sidney lligdonl knew very well. He was general manager of the aftairs of the Mormons, Rigdon, in course of conversation, told me a number of times that there was in the printing otiice, with which he was connected ia Ohio, a ma nuscript of Rev, Spalding's, tracing the origin of the Indian race from the lost tribes of Israel; that this manuscript was in the office for several years ; that he was familiar with it; that Spalding had wanted it printed, but had not had the means to pay for the printing; that he (Rigdon) and Joe Smith used to look over the manuscript and read it over on Sundays. Rigdon and Smith took the nymuscript and said: Til print it, and went off to Palmyra, New York. I never knew this information was of any importance; thought others knew of these facts. I do not now 'think the matter is of any importance. It wi'l not injure Mormonism. That is an ism,' and chimes in with the wishes of certain classes of people. Nothing will pub it down but the strong arm of the law,"

SUGGESTIONS tP VALUE

Thk purest butter ever made may become tainted and poisoned in one short hour by objectionable surroundings. A ftTwxa wet in kerosene oil and tied around sugar barrels, lard cans, pre serves, etc., is said to kep away ants. The string should be wet with the oil every few days. Soot is a good manure, especially for land infested with insects. Soot is good for nearly everything in the kitchen garden. It is also good for a lawn, and it mxy be used &iong with any manum For polishing mahogany, walnut, etc-, the following is recommended : Dissolve beeswax by heat, in spirits of turpentine, until the mixture becomes viscid; then apply with a clean cloth and rub thoroughly with a flannel or cloth. To keep honey the year round, let it run through a lino sieve, to separate it from the particles of wax, then boil it gently in an earthen vessel, skim off the foam whicti gather on top, and cool it in jars. Cover tightly and set in a cool place, A. new fancy in the crazy-quilt line is to have in the exact center of the quilt a block of plain satin with the initials, in monogram or otherwise, of the owner of the quilt. Another new departure is to have each block the embodiment of an idea, or at least to have each block develop method iu madness. For example, let ono have Kensington work in outline patterns only, another needle-work of different kind, or applique, or painting. The foundation of thece blocks must necessarily be of plain colors iu ilk, satin or velvet. 3ark op Can aky Birds. It is not generally known that draughts of cold air are as unwholesome for a canary bird as for a child. Many a pet bird has drooped and died a mysterious and lamented death for the lack of a little thought on thf part of its mistress. Mcny birds safler also from heat; their cages are hung so high that while the room does not Recm too warm for the mistress it is very uncomfortable for tho bird. I have known of cages being hung so near a stove that the were became so heated as to be unpleasant to the touch. If one has not the time to be thoughtful and carefnl of pets, it is more humane to dispose of them to some one who can be. New Remedies gives the following method of bleaching sponges: "Soak the sponges, previously deprived of sand and dirt by beating and washing in 1 per cent, solution of. permanganate of potassium. Then remove them, wash them thoroughly with water and press out the water. Next put them in a solution of one-half pound of hyposulphite of sodium in one gallon of water, to which one ounce of oxalic acid has been added, and leave them in the solution for fifteen minutes. Finally, take tbem out and wash them thoroughly. By this treatment the sponges are rendered perfectly white. Many sponges contain a more or less dark-colored brownish core. If treated only with permanganate and acid tbe core is either not bleached at all, or if it has been somewhat bleached the tint is apt to grow again darker. By the above modification every portion of the sponge is rendered white and remains so."

Popularizing Religion "I read in the paper," remarked a lady to her husband, "that the Mohammedan theory is that no women are admitted into Heaven. I shouldn't thL k such a religion would bo very popular." "Why not?" asked her husband. "Whv not?" she returned. "What interest would Heaven have for men if thero were no women there?" "None, perhaps, for single men," he said. Then ho added: "But you see, my dear, Mohammedans never begin to get religion untill after the) are married." Philadelphia Call. Young girls who are desirous of securing physical beauty are recommended by a physician to eat meat once a day, pickles once a week, and sweetmeats once a year; also to take a cold bath and a live-mile walk every day.

"Kurnel" Smith's Hearty Welcome. There was a party of four of ns put from Cheneyville, Louisiana, to look over a sugar plantation, and we had dismounted by the roadside to drink ai a spring and rest a bit under the shade, when along came a native on a mule. As he drew up and looked us over, we saw that he w;is armed with shot-gun, revolver and knife, and the eyes under his old hat had a bad expression. "I reckon you gents hain't bound over to Kurnel Smith's place!" hs said as he surveyed us. "Reckon we just ar that," answered r spokesman. "How soon!" "Right away." "Say, Ginerel, will you do me a favor?" ttI reckon." "Sot here fur about half a n hour, and then don't hurry. The Kurnel and I have had a leotle furse, and I am going to git the drop on him. Reckon you don't care to mix in ?" "Reckon not, and if these gents is agreed well give you time. We didn't raise any partumlar objection, and the wayfarer pasfted on at a gallop. By and by we followed at a alow pace, but made no discovery until we reached Smith's place. The "Kur:aelr' was at the gate with a rifle leaning against the fence, and as ho came out and shook hands our guide asked: "Been any furse around here, Kurnel?" "Nothin' to speak of, thank ye," "Didn't see a fellow on a mewl come this way?" "Well, somebody did come along an' fill that 'ere gate post full o buck-shot, an' I sent a bullet through bis ole bat to teach him not to be so keerless; but git off yer hosses an' come in come right iu an' n: ake yerselves to hum." Detroit Free Press. Happy Krery Day. Sidney Smith cut the following from a newspaper and preserved it for himself: "When you rise in the morning form the resolution to make the day a happy one to some fellow-creature. It is easily done a left-off garment to the man who needs it, a kind word to the sorrowful, an encouraging word to the striving trifles in themselves light as air will do it at least once in twentyfour hours. And if you are young depend upon it, it will tell when you are old ; and if you are old rest assured it will send you gently and happilv down the stream of time to eternity. If you send one person, only one, happily through each day, that is "365 in the course of a year. If you live odIv forty years after you commence that course of medicine, you have made 14,600 beings happy, at all events for a time." An analysis of matrimonial advertisements in Germany shows that tflree times as many women as men seek partners in that manner; that women are far less particular about age than men, but far more particular about family position; and that religions faith is ef secondary importance with most advertisers of both sexes.