Bloomington Telephone, Volume 7, Number 37, Bloomington, Monroe County, 26 January 1884 — Page 2

"WHAT KB M NOV DSBAM. By titie fann-houso Kate in the old orach road. With her parcels packed by Bit side she Htood.

l was early m aepiemoer. Ana tne clinging spoke, And the autek warm From the eyes ot each NV iiica uotn mtgi Wonld they mee Might he call? He mw site was sole afraid And with some sad memory worried. "No, no," she said, and she blushed for shame, And she pressed his hand, and she breathed bis name. As the old stage-coach with a ramble came And off to tne town she hurried. Of a maid who pined "neath some fierce con trol And sighed at her window casement. And the thought her purse-proud parents bore A stinc to his heart and.it grieved him sore Z K6i dreamt beb4wqKed in a fancy store Anf lved in aonftojm basement. Ao Tork7onrndL v. A Clear Case. It was nearing sunset on the fourth .6ay,' and the steamefcyras raowSjg' along through Erie that'toostwelfnl.'inoarfi dangerous lake of; 11 the cbajn dearr ly intending 0 reach Buffalo by next day noon. ... i . The passengers, had beeiiavmg th'eiv little ran, lor tney uaa au oecome pretty well acquainted in those severity sweet, blue hours, velvet -beneath, satin above, sunrise to sunset, with never a cloud or drop of ram, or seasick soul,' save.one dear womari, who early, retired to her state-room and partook, , a dis- ' cretion, of nux vomica, third potency. . Some one had bottled a written account of the trip ; some one else had mounted the capstan, mddea' bright if rhapsodical speech, and hurled the bottle into the waters, .the ceremony being attended vrith muct lawglileVatd handclapping. This concluded,' a inbfet excellent humor pervaded company; even the six stated representatives of two most exclusive famiHes-r-social pillars of a Western meteppelis (conceded ti e claims of the occasion. y Of this party of six, two were elderly ladies, sisters, sMrs. Wolfe anfc Sirs. Close; the remaining four, the two daughters of each, young ladies, whose; sees might safelt be reckoned within the limits of I7;to2& Papa Close had pnt them .all aboard the steamer in their' own dear, dirty Western riverat 8 o'clock thevTuesday evening previous ; It, was now Friday, and' Papa Wolfe would meet them afc file doekin Buffalo on the morrow Deo votante.- So .they eonldf rJot be considered exactly as unprotected; females. Besides, was. not the jolly skipper their "most obedient,1" with all his Hibernian absurdities? . . . ; ' They had started out , h au exces- ' sive frigidity toward eacli and every one else aboard, but this had - thawd, and; they were now disposed to patronizeafter a kindly fashion.. The -young laches were standing, arms lovingly entwined, in groups of -twos; three of 'them were dressed alike and. closely resembled each other; the fourth was an odd lamb, her eounten'ahcebeing more piquantly expressive than that of sister or cousins, light, sparkling, mischievous, where theirs wei e tolerant and heavy, with the weight ol propriety and "good form." Hex eyes were heavily lashed; hex nose tipped saucily; her. month was a carnation-leaf, and the sngar-spcon hat she wore, like the others, had, , hardly secured her, from sunDurn and freckles, She carried a yellow, foot-square satchel of alligator-skin, with her name silver-lettered on the outside--one of her names at least, tod that by which she was bestknownr . - . "hmjotbope; She were a blue-flannel yachting suit ; her hair was the sweetest brown with veins of red gold shining throughout. She lacked Hie self-conscious expression of Isabel Close or Agnes Wolfe, the ladies at her left, just back of -Delicia Close, a thin edition, .whose .embrace bordered her a little. Nearly all the passengers were on deck, in groups of threes and fours. The excellent mammas, Close and Wolfe, sat not fax ' away, middle-aged, well-dressed, with an occasional fine diamond as a letter of credit. Up and down the narrow passage between the cabin 'and the rail of the propeller sauntered the steward of the vessel, a remarkably good-looking, yet at times melancholy, young man, with a cigar in his month that might have been' an immortelle for his apparent everlastingness. At tunes he seemed to gaze - meditatively upon either Delicia Close or Heliotrope Wolfe, an unprejudiced observer on oath might hesitate in asserting which. Perhaps Mrs. Wolfe could have said, though, for Belie was only too often in mischief of the kind. Besides but this takes me back to the night they started. That night the moon wad just rising,. yellow as gold and as smooth as a platter, when the good byes were spokes, Hie last kisses exchanged, and Papa Close, with others equally forlorn, went ashore, reflecting that during his family's six week's sojourn at the seaside he might give undivided attention to his. newest racehorse. N. B. -It was the middle of August; but they had all been doing the Dells of the Northwest all save Miss Heliotrope, who had spent' two months with a school-friend not far from her own city. The propeller was growling hoarsely as it moved down the river, through open bridges and the tangle of shipping, out under the star of the harbor light, into the caressing arms. of the lake; and the Wolfe-Close party, having concluded the inspection of their three staterooms, sniffed doubtfully at the sixinch looking-glasses, and wondered if there were mosquitoes or anything else that bites on board, appeared on deck to witness the mnrise. They atl found seats together, excepting Helie, who, with usual perversity, wondered off to the other side and stood gloomily by herself! She stood so but a few moments, however, when a gentleman, who had suddenly emerged from the cabin, approached. She stared a second, then thrust out her hand with a joyful cry of recognition: "Phil! Phil Lawson!" He caught both hands and squeezed them hard nobody was looking at them; everybody was interested in the moos. ' ' " Yes, here I am," he laughed, "Aren't ycu surprised?"

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But awfully glad. How did yon knoc we were coming .' YauJ did know, tl clear round going all the way " tnen paused, nesuating ior some reason. suggested that they stroll to the stern of the boat, as she had much to say. "Tell me how you knew," she ran on, "and O, by thewaj. were you. Bgry, awfully angfSlJ ft I "About whatr f "About my letting you think my name." "O fudge, little puss. You didn't sup8s8 Y&tikrtWSNr atjoufyou weeks before you came to ypur friend's ? , Why she wrote me to come so as to meet you. She knew I'd' fall in love at a glancewell, she. wasn't fan out there" and Jbe gave her arm a hug. .- "But then the absurdity, of your, coming there with only a couple of, sateen dresses at 30 cents a yard, and making her introduce you as Miss .HeaTy, a poor orphan, selj;supporting, and' so forth, for the purpose, I've no doubt,' Of making all the yeung fellows, wild after you because they couldn't marry you. For of course a man doesn't care so much' for a girl he knows he can marry." "I didn't ask Laura Dodge to jntroInin tvA a a on TJxalv ' " ciaj3 4-1 yourig lady, spelling out XUO aK MM,IFM3 AADu y OCMU VU.' the , "I the name said '116116.' " ' 40 didn't.you?- Nor you didn't allow1 me to . call v you- .'Miss: Healy 'Miss Kittie Healy,' " he remarked pensively. "Now, see here, there might have been some fun in a poor girl palming herself for an heiress " " K0 that would be horrid!" "Think so?" ...... f Why, of 'course ! : Phil, shall I take ydu back now and introduce you to manima, and auntie, .and Isabelle, arid Agnes, and Delicia? . . Q deary I wish they were at home!'' "So do'l!" Another lrug of her arm only of course. t She laughed. "Well, come, along. I shall introduce you as Laura's friend. No one knows we have corresponded." . "But firsts Helie, I've something to way. ,. fit" . "O, afterwards."- -They were standing quite alone at the stern directly over the screw (nice place to get sick) with a single lantern overhead, faint in the moonlight. And he was looking very fond arid very melancholy . He was a good-looking yourig felloV, with a pei. fectly-golden ' mustache arid'' a tenorpitched voice. He was a little lazy of speech being of Southern parentage. "No, Helie, for when you have heard me out I fear you will hardly wish to introduce me." ' "Why, Plul!" "It is true. Pussie I used to call you Pussie, didn't I?--when we last met, only a few weeks-ago, I had a fortune of my own, a very decent onel which I might have asked a .certain dear little girl to help me spend, if she loved me enough. Now it is gone. Irretrievably gone ! Speculations have. carried it off as trie wind, carries thistledown. I am a poor man!" "0 Phil!" She clutched his arm with both-hands and regarded him tearfully. "Dearest, you do care ?" "low know it." And, having kissed him fondly and wiped away her moist grief,, she inquired: ' "But where are vou going?" "To Buffalo. ' "And then?" "No further. I return with the boat, because, you see" he Avinehed as he confessed it "I am .the steward." "The steward?" she echoed. "Yes," resignedly. "So, of course, it wouldn't do to introduce me. Your family couldn't sympathize as vou do, dearest." . Helie sighed; but presently her spirits rose like life-buoys. "I .don't care Phil; it must be jolly to be steward and order all the meals. Please have ice-cream often and lobstersalad." ' ,. "Just wait," said. Phil lugubriously; "wait till you see me inspecting a great ugly chunk of raw beef to-morrow, and watching the men to see that they don't comb their hair in the pudding or wipe their faces on the dish-towels." "Do they do that?" she asked faintly. "O Phil, I forgot how long I was staying. I must run back. I'll gee you early in the morning. Delicia she is my room-mate Delicia always sleeps late. Good-night, Phil." "Good-night" (with usual accompaniment). Miss Heliotrope lay awake a long time that night, in ttye upper berth where she could look out through the little window and see the moonlight on the blue velvet. She sighed once or twice and, when she slept, dreamed ever of Mr. Lawson. Next morning she wa out on deck early and had a little chat with him, but the rest of the day Delicia clung to her most provokingly. Nevertheless, the melancholy young steward, sauntered about, eonsolin S "it , nil i liimaeis wrtH a wonaevtuliy good cigar and occasionally making himself of service to the matrons .of the party. He seemed not to care much for the othe'r: passengers, among whom were noticjwly Ultf a lab J.uuj' wuu a vuxumou uuouiiuvi.fr - i i -i j i K a widow, a smau uoy,- wiu a lamuy entire, including twins in arms, though at meal times he was on the alert to see that all were well served, taking his own refreshments an hour, later at one end of the long lable entirely cleared. "That is a very obliging young man," said Mme. Wolfe to Mme Close, the second or third evening, as they sat on deck in. the Mackinaw harbor and watched Mr. Lawson escort ja party of young people, including their own daughters, ashore to board a Lake Superior steamer which was waiting there with its brass band playing serenade music fit to break one's heart along with the moonlight. . "Very obliging, indeed. One might almost think him fit for something better. Such a life must be degrading. I passed him to-day as he ..sat as dinner. You should have seen the great dish of

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der. itingit?" at it." hat a beautiful night, me of Naples Bay. jle returned in hicrh 8' as the boat left the Jiarbor, a social dance in the cabin. Helie, who furnished the music from the cabin piano, was greatly amused on glancing up to find har cousin Isabel waltzing with the atewbaTdvn'r' ' ,? -. w --f . 'av Isabel spoke of it a little later in a singular tone of hesitation and deprecation : "It was so absurd ! The stewward came up and. adked me tfr dbjce. tce. 4 I - al kielwMttiH isrWell. r hJ waltaes very well came right up and asked me " "Yes, dear," put in her mother suave.1 "J4 aueh. .anobiigingeSQn,gcejd-..j ly. xou are tired; you musnt dance again." . . .. ' ( ... , And now to get back tp my startingpoint as fast as possible. It was midforenoon' of "thfo fourth day ifriclay When Agnes Wolfe, .who hacl been lolling on the upper deck with a goodish umbrella and a baddish novel her back against: a small boat, and h,er feet most any where heard her sister's voiae in the passage below, and Leaned- forward to see whom Helie was talking to so confidentially. ' Immediately after J sri?: sprang up, and, flouncing forward to the ladder, she descended rapidly and sought her mother. "Mamma," she cried, gasping and choking oyer it; "Mamma Helie is flirting with the steward!" "I&ylove ! You shock xae. Ask , her to come to me at once." Arid Helie saw no niore of Mr. Lawson until, standing by Delicia, in the sunset, she observel him- patrolling the passage with' his cigar. Delicia carried her off presently to dress for supper. Delicia talked a great deal. . "It's been a lovely trip, Helie. The St. Clair Flats were heavenly if the men hadn't tried to shdot birds, t can't see any fun in shooting things you dont wan't. Can you ?" "No," .said Helie, with disgusted brevity.. i That night, when Delicia's regular breathing told that she slept,- Helie slipped down from her berth, drew aside the curtain, and peeped out. One single, melancholy figure leaned upon fche railing. "Phil!" ' He turned quickly. "Helie darling." "Phil, it's making me awfully nervous."., "Is it darling?" . , "Yes.'" ' "But your father will surely forgive us." "I think he will. But, Phil, if he shouldn't, you are young and brave you could work." ' "O yes, I could work ; I'd make the chips fly." "Chips?" "Yes. Out of the logs, you know." "But if any one knew, what a fuss there would be! What time do Ave get to Buffalo?" "About noon." They whispered a while, then closed the conference, and Helie returned to her berth. ' " ' Toward noon next day there was a general stir. . Sentimental passengers gathered in the cabin and sang "The Sweet By and By." Miss Heliotrope, not being of this assembly, went out and feed the baggageroom porter to unstrap her trunk, from which she took sundry smaller articles and crammed them into her alligator satchel. Then she went forward and climbed to the upper deck to hear the steersman yarning as he neglected his wheel and got the steamer headed for the sandy side of the lake until the skipper ripped out an oath or two and bade him be careful. Then the city grew nearer and nearer, and finally the journey was at an end. Pive of the Wolf-Chase party seemed in no haste to land, but stood gazing intently over the railing, "Ah, there is Mr. Wolfe!' cried his wife, waving her handkerchief. "Agnes, Helie, there's papa! He will come on board. We must wait here !" Some ten minutes after the gentleman was embracing them all in turn. "WTiere's Helie?" he asked at length, in surprise. "Why didn't she come?" Sure enough, Helie was missing. Mr. Wolfe turned pale. Had anything happened her ? The girl ran hither and thither wildly. The other passengers had landed and the crowd dispersed. Helie was not on the landing. Mrs. Wolfe was faint: Mrs. Close frantic; the girls hysterical. "Where's Capt. Burke? Where's the steward?" cried Mrs. Close. But neither gentleman could be found. After a half -hour's excitchment the baggage-porter appeared, and, with a knowing grin, admitted having seen the steward and the young ladv going ashore together the very first of all. Mr. Wolfe was nonplussed for a little, then started to the door (they t were all in the cabin), where he Avas me't by the porter, who had gone out reconnoitering, and retm-ned to report the delinquents as coming aboard again hi good shape. Mrs. Close, first to recover, darted uto meet them, leaving the others to jselt-possession. ,ie! How could vou!" cried feftSMRphfiilly. "Your mother "Is she?" Helie returned, coolly. "Never mind, she'll get over it. Do you suppose papa will forgive us for getting married?" "Married!" shrieked her aunt. "Yes, you know in this State it doesn't take fifteen Jminutes. You don't need any license only a minister." Mr. Wolfe met them at the door. "Why why Lawson, where did you drop from?" he cried. "Helie, I thought you were up to some folly with the steward?" "Oh no, papa," and she kissed him. "No folly at all ; he toaa the steward, but he isn't any longer; for of course voull help him out now, he's my. husband." Mr. Wolfe stared and his countenance underwent a series of expressions. Then he gave a short laugh and ejaculated :

"Great Scott! If this doesn't beat all!" Then severely: "Where's your mar

riage certificate, Helie? very Mil, liy . uwsoi as bad him. B tin t vou; do; my wife didn't remember vou. abroad two years, haven't you has been shut up in boarding-schoo that's what makes her so romantic." "But, papa" "OTitfai atr tightrwr dear. No divorce talk ifheta.s fooled yon. You ought to be glad I'm so pleased." And so Mr. Lawson found himself dbkldd tiwTiriF short orcWr, 4 and ide'sstod 1" asMdiaf orAven by Ms mbti er$m3law Then they all set off for the hotel in high spirits. "Steward," said Mr. Wolf, "how many triisiid yau iaad" . -v - - "This was the second." "Last, toe, eh?" "Yes, uufess -Helfie wishes me to conr tinue. She thinks, itwfulLLy jolly.'li "t is not so bojV'.sajjl Helie stoutly. '" ' " postscript It occurs to me that the, whole 'affair mav have been a precon certed plot. Girls' .and their mammas so olten understand each otiier nowadays, and Laura Dodge use'! to say that Helie was "a perfect litl ledivil." However, as far as- Mr. Lawson's affec.tion&were.cocnernad, every one said it was "a clear case.' Lilly M. Curry, in Chicago, Tribune. Fighting a Skunk. I .was onoe on a visit to a sheep-farming brother, far away on the southern ,frontier of Buenos Ayres, and among the dogs I found there was oue most interesting creature. He was a great, lumbering; stupid, good-tempered brute, so greedy that when you offered him a pieee of meat he would swallow your arm, and so obedient that at a word he would dash himself against the horns of a bull, and 'face death and danger- in any shape. But, my brother., told -.me, he would not .face a skunk he would die first. One day I took him out and found a skunk, and for upwards of half an hour I sat on my horse vainly cheering my cowardly follower and urging him to battle.- The very sight of the eheniy gave him a . fit of shivers, and when the .irascjble little .wretch began to advance against us, going through the performances by means of which he generally gut's his foes' to, niglit without resorting malodorous measures stamping his little1 feet in rage, jumping up, sputtering and hissing t and flourishing his brusblike, war-like banner above his head then hardly could I restrain my , dog from turning tail and flying home in abject terror. My oruel persistence was rewarded at last. Continued shouts, clieers, and hand-clappings began to stir trie brute to a kind of frenzy. Torn by conflicting emotions, he began to revolve about the skunk at a brisk gallop, barking, howling, and bristling up his hair, and at last-, shutting his eyes, with yell of desperation, he charged. I fully expected to see the enemy torn to pieces in a .few seconds, but when the dog. was four or five feet away from him the fatal discharge came, and he dropped as if dead. For some time he lay on the earth perfectly motionless, watched and gently bedewed by the victorious skunk; then he got up and crept, whining away. Gradually he quickened his pa.ee, finally breaking into a frantic run. In vain I followed him, shouting at the top of my lungs; he stayed not to listen, and very speedily vanished from sight- a white speck on the vast, level plain. At noon on the following day he made his appearance,, gaunt and befouled with mud, staggering forward like a galvanized skeleton. Too worn out even to eat, he flung himself down, and for hours lay like a dead thing, sleeping off the effects of these few drops of perfume. London Field. Cleanliness. When water is as free as air, and good soap can be' bought for a few pennies, there is no excuse for any one to go dirty. Yet I onee"' heard a young man remark, one pleasant afternoon late in the summer, that he must go in swimming once more, or he should not get a good wash again until spring. Now the "good wash," w hich the young man implied by his remark, is one which should be taken at least onee a week, and oftener if possible; and a wash to which the reader may apply his own adjective should be taken at least three times a day. But lest there be some that are unable to dpfine such an on, perhaps something like the following will suffice : Bare the arms to the elbow, and give the arms, wrists and hands a thorough washing, giving particular attention to tho joints of the wrists, the knuckles of the fingers and the fingernails. Then loosen the binding of the clothing about the neck, and give the neck, face and ears a similar cleaning, not forgetting 'the teeih. This process, repeated as many times a day as is convenient, together with the good wash, will, in conjunction with those habits which such a course M ill be likely to form, promote good health, and may &e the means of inducing auother to go and do likewise. -Dr. I. iSr. Patterson, in Good CJieer. Bob Ingoriiol's Mai). It in a noteworthy faot that an American citizen who is fortunate enough to acquire anything like notoriety is certain to be inundated with floods of letters. Out of the entire number received there is hardly ever one that has the slightest interest or value. Col. Iugersoll receives every day enough hitters in the way of advice, suggestion and argnment to make the fortune of a juukshop. I was in his office not long ago when he received a brief note from an Ohio man covering ninety closely written pages of foolscap, pKted end to end, so as to make a long roll. Tho writer desired to have a little friendly argument with the Colonel and his letter was the first installment. Peact Pence is the highest aim of the superior man. Begin to regulate before disorder comes. Where legions are quartered, briers and thorns grow. In the traok of great armies must follow bad years. Lao-tze ; Chinese. Buffaloes aro becoming scarce in the ranges of Nevada.

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SUGGESTIONS OF YALUE.

When thyme? parsley, lemon-peel, sage, tons of to, uesand. 1 .sorts ier uldoe id ;w hUs, 44th it have lost their stiffness can be ened on application of a solution of gum-arabic in water. Apply with a cloth on the inside and outside. A ,Bmok a To. renovate a black chip hat, add to one pint of cold water a teaspoonful of spirits of ammonia ; use with a soft brush (a tooth or jiail brush will answer the purpose), an. AffbJenlwiH cleaiied, a-inse with cold water arid place in tne sun to dry. vo -v c s .m i . , -rv not soak or scrub sufficiently to destroy the shape. It will look like new, so says the Country Gentleman. How to Wash Spanish Lace. I saw a fichu, which a friend cleansed which looked almost as well as new. She put ammonia into water sufficient to make it feierslippery, and soaked the lace ih it over night, then squeezed (not l'tfbj bed) it out, rinsed and pressed it slightly. A trifle of sugar added to the last water ie better than starch,-- Good Cheer , . " , Uses of Aromatic Herbs. On the authority of f ick's Monthly 4 Is sai that pennyroyal .distributed ip places frequented by roaches will drive them away; that wild mint will keep rats and mice out of the house, and, it is said, will also:keep them from enteritfg corns tacks; .that leaves of parsley, eaten with a little vinegar,, will prevent the disagreeable consequences of tainted breath by onions. . TOTTEBIN& Vases. A tall vase filled with flowers and placed on a bracket is very apt to be blown to the floor, if the doors are open for ventilation. To pre vent this the Country Gentleman advises us to fasten the vase to the braekef with fine elastic cord, 'which will allow it to be easily taken down and replaced Ii a light vase, holding dried grasses or everlasting flowers, is easily uushed over, put in an ounce of shot to make it heavy. If the vase is transparent, coat the shot with flour, and dry before, us ing.' 1 ' ' ' ' ' Perfume Sachet. To make a perfume sacliet, take a piece of blue satin, a half "yard long arid eight inches wide; fringe the ends a quarter of a yard deep, sewithe edges of a plain piece together on the wrong side, and turn, carefully right side out. . Take a half sheet of white wadding and place a little perfume on it, then make a roll of it large epough to' fit exactly from end to end of the satin cover. ' Tie as tightly as possible n piece of pale blue ribbon around either end of the satin; sew it fast to the satin to keep in place, and finish with bows. The side may be ornamented with painting, embroidery or applique. Table of Weights and Measures. It is useful for reference. Cut it out and save it : Wheat.i CO Buckwheat 52 SlwHedcorn fWDried peaches 38 Corn in the ear TOjDriecl apples 24 Rve Co Onions 57 Peas Go'Salt SO Oats ;i2:Stonocoa.l 88 parley 47jMalt 40 Irish potatoes lis! Bran 20 Sweet potatoes...... 35 j Turnips, 55 White beans SfiiPlasterinjr hair. 8 Cantor beans.,,. Clover seed Timothy eed... 4G;Unslacked lime 8Q 60 Corn meal 48 4G;Flne salt 54 Flaxseed 50! Ground peas 32 Cotton seed 5)3 J Bough rice v... 43 Hemp seed H Blue grass seed Ul Went fled by a Broken Toe. There came to Boston not long ago a gentleman from California, who was paying his native State of Massachusetts a visit, after an absence of nearly thirtyfour years. He was one of those who, in 1849, went out to the land of gold to seek his fortune. He was only 19 years of age at the time of his departure, and, like many other youngsters who have gone O it into the world, soon got weaned of home longings. His folks, after a a time, ceased to get tidings from him, and for the past twenty years he had been thought to be dead by his relatives. He came to Boston, as stated, and sought out his relatives, and found some of them ; but none of them recognized in the man of 53 years the youth of 19 who left home so many years ago. Among others who were not quite satisfied with his identity was an aunt who lives in the Highlands. When he went to see her and stated who he was, she said : "I do not recognize you, sir ; but, if you are the one you claim to be, you can tell me the date of your birth and where you were born." These he gave to her correctly, but still she had a doubt. "If you are, " she said, "my nephew. I think you have a mark on you that will convince me of your identity. When, he was a boy he broke one of the toes of his right foot. I remember distinctly how it looked and which toe it was. If you can show me that broken toe, I will believe you are my nephew." The gentleman at once pulled off the boot and stocking from his right foot, and there, sure enough, was the identical broken toe. It is needless to say that that broken toe cleared up all doubt.-rJ?QSfori Herald, Nevada "Petering Out." Nevada is said to be gradually "petering out," so to speak. Her population has dwindled to 62,000, which makes her the most thinly-inhabited State in the Union. The big residences at Virginia City and Gold Hill, which cost immense sums of money, are being torn down and used for firewood ; and the ricli deposits of ore, out of which such great fortunes were being made a few years ago, have nearly all been exhausted. The State has no agricultural., possibilities, and unless she can find a way to utilize her deposits of salt, sulphur, and borax, must soon cease to produce anytfcinjg worth mentioning. Chicago Times. Not by Standard Time . Epitaph in a cemetery: "I await my husband, 10th October, 1820. " And below; "Here am I! 7th February, 1880," Added in pencil by wioked stranger : "Late as usual!" But the fling was uncalled for. The deceased could not help being the late Mr. It is said that men and women of social position patronize the opium dena of San Antonio, Tex. !

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hd you The anagram for the word "editors,'" is "so tried." We have learned thia from actual experience. "Coke, Colonel, set 'em up again!" urged jolly crowd at a wet gaods emporium the other evening. Nb, gentlemen, I never re-treat," was the reply"Some men, life pictures for a corner thn full ligi,i&iSheca. Other men, like pictures, dont show their good points until they're properly hung. Lord Haxifax once said that if a man were to set out by calling everyfhing by its rig :nocked down 1 5. Hal rtraTecr inter a ' poison enough to kill over 1,000 cats. Would to Ciesar more tea could be known tKUitician of a friend "What's the other name for itt the aproned dispenser of liquid poisons. "Why eau de vie the French for bndr- of cauitee," ."Yes. we a dangerous tiling. An Illinois "tnari offers shot-gun and a setter dog for any hiformation leading to the wherjlabife of mis missing wife. A siiogan mi. sdlteVdog might be an inducement to give her up. Herb Laseeb says the "brain power of the people" .i&f the distinguishing jGtafaB of thwUiftld States. ' Jt; is evident that Herr Lasker keeps posted on the rapid growing development of he slgb mjchs5i4ii3ca!f, ! A California editor thinks he has solved the Indian question. ,tfe eommehds whiskf, and calls atfeniibn to its usefulness hi the faot that every time a lot of Indians get jdlrtufk one or more are sent up tne gofdten stair with a cracked skull. Whisky is of some use after all. A HeVs nest is slinouncetft amonr i late patents. If it can foojla henso i to make her lay more than one real, good freaihpga daily it is all rig' and U itWaWtei.- it 4eand the mventor will not only reap a big. reward, butsa monument will berected to his metopy fa gratefd jleope. The yoUng man who lives beyond his means; who spends twenty dollars a week when receiving but tea r 1 fifteen dollars salary,- has no reason to complain if the finger of suspicion is pointed at him. Neither should his parents or guardians be surprised if he is called upon to answer o ajchge of embezzlement. An observing exchange remarks: "When I a young man begins to raise down upon his face, if is no wonder that he acts like a goose." Come " to think of it, it is about the time a young man's face begins to look fuzzy that he begins to realize that what he don't know would make a mighty small book. That down makes him think that his vest is plenty large enough to make his father an overcoat. But it seems strange that when that same down gets a little stiffening in it, and begins to be a real beard, that same young man begins to think that he didn't know quite all there is to know in the worldj and as he grows older he realizes that all the fools in the world are not dead yet, and wonders why the fool-killer has delayed so long in paying him a visit, that ought to have been made when he was from sixteen to twenty years of age. Facts About Digestion. Jessen has carried out a series of experiments to determine the time necessary for the digestion of equal quantities of different meats and of milk.Three" different methods were employed in the investigation: 1. Arti'icial digestion; 2. Introduction of the meats into the stomach of a liviujr dog, by means of a fistula ; 3. Upon a healthy man, Jallowing him to swallow the foods used, and ascertaining the time of digestion by means of a atom ach pump. The results obtained by the different methods were, on the wh&e, uniform, as far as the relative time necessary for digestion in each case was concerned, and may be stated as follows : Raw beef and mutton were digested most quickly; for half-boiled beef and raw veal, a longer time is necessary; thoroughly boiled and halfroasted beef, raw pork, and sour cow's milk followed next; fresh cow's milk, skimmed milk, and goat's milk were still less easily digested ; while; the longest time was required for thoroughly roasted meats and boiled milk. Mature and Art. A lady artist, who had painted a smiling cherub on her canvas, remarked to a gentleman observer : "Do you know, sir, that with one stroke I can change this smiling boy into a weeping one?" "That's nothing," said the gentleman "At home, when my boy makes too much of a racket, I can, with one stroke of my cane, make him weep, and howl, too, instantly. Texas Siftings. A Fall Out. A teacher asked a bright little girl what country was opposite to us on the globe. "I don't know, afc," was the reply. "Well, ow,w pursued the teacher, "if I were to bore a hole through the earth, and you were to go in at this end, where would you oome out?" "Out of the hole, sir,"; replied the pupil in triumph. Da Le Valley, the noted soou.t, has at last succeeded in finding a pass able route from the Musoleshell river to Sheep Mountain, Montana. Antelope are numerous in northern Texas.

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