Bloomington Telephone, Volume 7, Number 26, Bloomington, Monroe County, 27 October 1883 — Page 2

TfljB BAJ BOY.

"Say, you think of about every tiling mean that is going, don't you said the grocery man to the bad boy, as he came in to show that his black eye had been cured. "The minister explained to me yesterday bow you.cauged him and your father to lay and soak in the water for about three hours, one hot' day last summer, in the lake, and they both blistered their backs. The minister says the skin haa Aot stopped pooling off his shoulders yet. "What caused you to play spch a mean trick on them?" 0h, it was their own fault," said the boy as he looked with disdain on a watermelon that was out of season, and had no charm in October. "You see, the, night the sociable was at our house, the minister and some of the deacons were up in my room, which they used ' that night for a smoking-room, and while they were smoking they were telling stories about what fun they had when they were boys, and I remember one story the minister told about finding some girls in swimming once, and stealing their clothes, and making them wait till night, and then a . girl had to fix herself up with newspapers, and go home and send a wagon after the rest of the girls. The minister thought it was awful cunning, so when the church had the picnic last summer on the bank of the lake I remembered about it. Beats all, don't it, how a boy will remember anything like that? Well, after dinner I saw pa whisper to the minister, and they took a couple of towels and a piece of soap and started off up the lake about half a mile, and I knew they were going in swimming. Well, it didn't take me very long to catch on. I .got an overdress that one of the girls had been wearing to wash dishes, and a shawl, and stole a hat belonging to the soprano of the choir, and a red parasol that a girl left under a tree, and I went down in the woods and put on the clothes, over my pants and things, and when pa and the minister had got in the water and were swimming around, I put up the parasol and tripped along the' shore like a girl picking flowers, and when I came to the stomp where they had put their clothes I didn't look toward the water, but acted tired, and sat down on the stump and began to fan myself. You'd a dide to see palook. He crawled up on the beach, in the shallow water, and said, 'Elder, do you see that?' The elder looked, with hisself all under water except his head, and said, ' Mer ciful goodness! Squire, we are in for it. That interesting female is going to sit there and read a novel through before

she goes away.' I peeked through the fan and could hear all they said, while I pretended to read a novel. They swam around, and made a noise, but I was deaf, and I thought it wasn't any worse for me to sit on - the stump than it was for the minister, when he was a good little boy, to steal the clothes .of the girls. I stayed until I got tired, and -didn't hear them when they hollered to me to go away, and after awhile they got watersoaked, and had to do something, so the minister broke off a piece of a tree and dressed himself in it, and came toward me, and said : 'Madam, excuse me for troubling you, but if you will go away while I get my clothes, I will take ft as a favor.' I pretended to be insulted, and got up and walked off very indignant, and went back to the picnic and returned tne clothes, and pretty soon they came up, looking as red as if . they Lad been drinking, and the picnic was ready to go home. Somebody told pa it was me, but I don't -know who it was who gave it away. Anyway, he chased me clear out out of the woods with a piece of sapling. That was the time I told you I was too tired to ride, and walked home from the picnic. Pahas forgiven me, but I don't believe the minister ever will, Don't you think seme of these pious folks are awful un-foi-givin'?w Oh, people are not all so good as you and I are!" said the grocery man, , as he watched the boy makings sneak on a bunch of grapes. "But did you go to the circus?" . . "Circus! Well, I should assimilate. And it is a wonder I am notthere yet. But, whatever you do, don't ask pa if " be was at the circus, 'cause he will kill you. You see pa and I drove up to the race-track, where the circus was, in the evening, and after the circus was out we waited to see the men take the tents down, and after they had gone we started to drive home. It was darker than a squaw's pocket, and I drove out on the race-track, and the old horse used to be a racer and he picked up his ears. Fa tooa the lines and said he would drive, 'cause we were out pretty late, and ma would be nervous. I told pa I didn't believe he was on the right road, but he said he guessed nobody could fool him about the road to town, and bless me if be dida't drive around that track about eight times! Every time we passed the grand stand, which pa couldn't see, on account of his eyes, J laughed j but I thought if he knew the road so confounded well 1 could ride as long as ho could. After we had rode around the track about eight miles and I was getting sleepy, I

mildly suggested that maybe we had better stop at a house and inquire the way to town, and pa got mad and asked me if I took him for a fool. Then he" drove around a couple of times more, and the man that keeps the track he came out with a lantern andf said 'hello!' Pa stopped and asked

him what he wanted, and he said, 'Oh, nothin',' and pa drove on and told him to mind his business. "We went around the track again, and when we got to the same place the man was. jhere, and I guess pa thought it was time to inquire the way, so he pulled up and asked the man what he was doing there, and the man said he was minding his own business. Pa asked him if we were on the right road to town, and the man said if we wasn't in any hurry he would like to have us drive on the track all night, as it was a little heavy, and he wanted to get it in condition to speed the colts the next day, but if we had to go we could drive out the gate and take the first left-hand road. Well, pa was mad, and he wanted to know why I didn't tell him we were on the track, but I told him he seemed to know it all, and it was dangerous to advise a man who knew it all. He didn't speak all the way to town, but when we put out the horse he said : 'Hennery, if this thing gets out your pa will have the reputation of being drunk If you tell of it you are no friend of mine.' So I shall not say anything about it, 'cause it is a mean boy that will go back on his pa." And the boy went out whistling " She's a Daisy." Peck's Sun, XAKUfGA LITTLE GO A GREAT WAT. It is not generally known, of course, that many women, considered most extravagant' dressers, manage with clever finesse to look extremely stylish on small allowances. Nothing can be of greater interest to the average woman than the secret of how to look well at a small expense. Some ladies own themselves that they buy incessantly, yet are never stylishly dressed. In the first place, it is tedious to wear one hat with all costumes. Therefore, procure one becoming in shape, trimmed for exigencies.. Get a black hat, with a handsome feather, as a utility hat, one which can be worn at various points of the compass; then, when buying a new silk, buy a spray of flowers to suit and utterly change the aspect of the hat. If possessing any skill, get a capote frame and cover with the dress goods. Learn to make collarettes and fichus; get reversible ribbons and alter at pleasure. Always get dresses whose waists will interchange; this is the best Of the black Jersey. Do not go out on successive days the same way seme slight change will suggest a variety of toilets. Comb the hair differently Avhen the hat is placed back to form a poke. Always carry a handkerchief to suit the dress, and, as they une cheap, this is within possibility always. Above all, get nothing so striking that it will be recognized on the street. Do not vitiate a bla;k and white ensemble by an oddlycolored bow or handkerchief. Strive for a general effect. Cut overdresses full enough to allow of different drapings. Get a black parasol all black which will suit any costume. Tribune and Farmer. A SMUGGLER'S TRICK. ' A few days ago a carriage drove furiously down the Cunard dock, and a red-headed man bounced out. "Is this the Cunarder ?" he asked, breathlessly. "Yes, sir," replied a custom official. Down came the red-headed man's trunk off the driver's perch, and together they carried it, with his valise, aboard the steamer. "When does she sail?" demanded the red-headed man of a passenger pacing the deck. "In a few days," returned the passenger courteously. "She has just come in." "Great Scott!" roared the red-headed man, "Isn't this the outgoing boat?" It was explained to him that he had made a mistake in the day, and the courteous stranger invited the red-headed man into his state-room to partake of some refreshments. Half an hour later the red-headen man bade hig friend adieu with many wishes for heir better acquaintance. Five hours later, in New York, the red-headed man and the courteous stranger 'sat gloating over the valise full of laces, watches, gloves and the like which the former had brought from the ship and which the customs officials had never thought of examining, as he had not come in on the steamer. Customs officials will do well to investigate the baggage of redheaded men, after they have spent half an hour in the staterooms of courteous strangers, who can't very well carry their own smuggled, truck ashore. Drake's Traveler's Magazine. AFTER THE FRENCH STYLE. Youpg man to newly married lady "At last I must confess to you that I love you." "And you tell me that now when I have already been married a week. WThy didn'tou tell me before I was rarried?" (done so you would have married me, and allowed the other fellow to become your lover." Texas Sif tings.

GREAT MEN'S NAMES.

What Some. Autographs art Worth, atul Why. (?! York Trilmno.l 0.n the sixth or top floor of a handsome, commodious private house on Porky-second street, New York, is an old man, probably some 70 years of age, a native of New England. He is tall and thin, lias scanty gray locks and beard, and betrays in his habitual stoop a sedanfcary habit. Matthew Morgan, or "Autograph Mat," as he is familiarly known to the second-hand booksellers, is an interesting character, remarkable not only for the uncommon nature of his vocation and his unswerving pursuit of and devotion to it, but for the extent of his journeyings through the civilized world, and for his scholarship. "What valuable autograph letters ha--e you on hand at present?" was asked of him. "Well, let me see. Here are three in the handwriting of Byron, the poet, one of them, quite long, addressed to his friend Mr. Hobhouse. It is dated June, .1814, and is a very characteristic pror luction. It opens thus: 'Why, Jointly, in the name of Apollyon and his naster, did you not turn up last night according to appointment? I waited for you two mortal hours. Neither you nor any of your race were ever before 30 roundly cursed. I was astonished 5rst at your audacity in breaking so solemn a treaty with me, secondly, at my own patience, which had never ensured a like exercise before, and lastly, at my volubility as I anathematized you and all your works. But really, my dear Hobhouse,' etc., etc., etc. The disappointment, you see, which occasioned this letter seems to have been nothing more than the breaking of an engagement by Hobhouse to accompany Byron to Yauxhall Gardens, then a place much resorted to by holiday-making cockneys, but now a densely-populated district of London. The price of this letter consisting of three closelyfilled foolscap pages, is $250. Will there be any difficulty in finding a purchaser for it? Oh. no! The other two letters are brief, and relate simply to business matters, yet I expect to easily realize $20 apiece for them. Here are three verses, unsigned, by George Herbert, the old English divine, worth at least $100; they would bring double and half as much if they bore his signature. Here is a letter written by John Wesley, and here a presentation copy of Cowper's 'Task,' with the poet's writing on the title page. I once owned a brief letter written by Sir Walter Raleigh while a prisoner in the Tower of London, which I sold to a wealthy gentleman in Virginia for $1,000." "How about the' value of autograph letters by modern authors?" " Well, a brief letter written by Tennyson will bring in New York all the way from $15 to $35, but, in London it would realize nothing. By the same rule letters by Longfellow will command as much in London, though here they are a drug. Letters by Charles Dickens sell any way and at all times, always realizing good prices. SOCIETY IX WASHWOTOy. Then there is the hotel society. The ladies staying in the Brown House, all receive on the same day. Ladies calling can thus kill all the birds, socially speaking, there are in the Brown House, with one handful of cards. The ladies of the Smith House have another day ; the ladies of the Bobison House another. Then at intervals eaeh hotel has a soiree, invitations to which are generously distributed. There is a fine band and a finer supper, and dancing unlimited. Congressmen and their wives and daughters, lobbyists, Southern colonels and numerous "generals," visiting strangers, politicians, and the rest make up a mixed coaipany. At one of these entertainments the wife of a Congressman whose constituents had omitted to re-elect him spoke sharply to a lady sitting on a sofa next to a friend of the Congressman's wife. "You might move up," said she. When the wife had settled herself down in the room thus obtained, she turned to her friend and proceeded. "Yes," said she, "it's just as I tell Lycurgus. This Washington society unfits one for any other society. You can't go back to the society you were used to once you just can't. No; I tell Lycurgus, we must cpme back to the House. He says we can't, but I say we can. And we must! That's all there is about it." A few months Inter "Lycurgus" is wrestling in the dust of the district arena for u renomination. No one who sees him engaged in that delightful occupation red in tho face, metaphorically speaking, hot and out of breath knows that it is all. because of hhe social aspirations of Mrs. Lycurgus, who has been unfitted by Washington society for the humbler society in which she once moved. If any man doubts that women rule the world, ho can have his doubts removed in any circle f Washington society. David D. Lloyd in the Manhattan. "Deceivhus .vht.hvd (who ia'Svillin' "Harry, thoy say w'rengaged!" Harry (who is thinking it over): "But Ave know we're not, don't we?"

Ej- 1ST. .A.. Se- C. jaairwa.j'" Monon ffioule. 2 Through Passenger Trains, Daily 2 I5KTWJEEN CHICAGO and LOUISVILLE, CHICAGO and JACKSONVILLE. Affords the Best, Cheapest, Quickest, most direct, and most desirable Route to all parts of the Great West and North West, the South and South West. Time in tfftot March J$th, CHICAGO TIME! NORTH. CHICAGO MAIL, NIGHT EX. Bloomington 11.59 pm 11,02 pm Chicago 0.00 pm t.OO am, SOUTH. LOUISVILLE MAIL. NIGHT EX. Bloomington 5.06 pm .3.27 am Louisville 9.10 pm 7.20 am Two daily through Express trains, without change, connecting closely with the great through lines out of Chicago and Louisville, giving only ONE CHANGE of carsto all the principal towns and cities in the northwest nud in the southwest. Unexcelled traveling accommodations. No re-checking of Baggage. No delay in connections. Less hauges of cars than by any other oute. Sell thaough tickets to all parts of the country. Check baggage through to destination. Time cards, railroad maps, rates, routes, through tickets and through baggage checks, obtained only of ' CARTER PERING, Station Ticket Agent, Bloomington, Ind. M unit ay Kellak, G. P. A., Louisville, Ky. TO THE EAST. TO THE NORTH. TO THE Vi2ST. TO THE SOUTH VIA THE Ohio & Missiisippi R'y THE Great Through Car jjp3? and Fast Time Route!

A DAILY TR4 IKS) Cincinnati & -tof L ouisv llle. 4 DAILY StLouis EASTWARD Stations. Acc'm Day Night Leaves, Exp. Exp. Accm. Vinc'nes, 12.57pra, 2.23am, 12,50pm Mitchell, 247pm, 2.23am, 347pm Seymour, 3.49pm, 4.01am, 5pm. Arrive at Louisville, 6.25pm, 6.20am, 8.23pm Cincinnati, 6.35pm, 6.3'Jam, 8.23pm Accommodation has Day Coaches without Change to Cincinnati. Daily Express has Parlor Cars and Day Coaches without change to Cincinnati. Dining Cars Seymour to Cincinnati, Night Express has Palace Sleeping cars and Day coaches to Cincinnati und Louisville without chauge. Dining cars Seymour to Cincinnati. Also, Sleeping cars to Washington and Baltimore without change. WESTWARD: Accommodation leaves Seymour at 10.80am, Mitchell 11.21am, Vineennes 2.05 pm, Flora 3.55 pm, arrives at StLouis 7 25 pm. Day Express leaves Seymour at 10 50 am, Mitchell 1151am, Vincemu s2 05 am, Flora 3 55 am; arrives at StLouis 6 20 pm. Night Exprees leaves Seymour 10 38 pm, Mitchell 11 47 pm, Vkcennes 2 05 am. Flora 3 55 am ; arrive at. St Louis, 7 10 am. Pacific Express leaves Seymour 2 20 am, Mitchell 3 51 am, Vincennes 6 am, Flora 805 am; arrive at St Louis 11 20 am. Accommodation has day coaches to St Louis without change. Day Express has parlor cars and day coaches to St Louis without change. Dining ear Cincinnati to Seymour. Night Express has pal pee sleeping cais and day coaches to St Louis without change. Also palace sleeping ears to Cairo and New Orleans without change. Facilic Express has p'Uace sleeping cars aud day coaches to St Louis withuiit change. At Cincinnati: Direct connection with all lines diverging with through cars for all oints North, East,Southeast. At Louisvill": Sure connection with through cars for all points South At St Louis: Close connection with through cars for all points West,South East mihI Northwest. For reliahle information as to rates routes, tickets, time, etc., apply in person or by letter toH.A. Treudlcy, agent Ohio & Mississippi R'y, Mitchell. Ind., or to T. W. Russell, traveling passenger agent, North Vernon, Ind. W. W. Peabndy. W. B. Shattuc, Get). Sttp't. Gen'l Pass. Aqt CINCINNATI, O, H- J-NICHO LS ARCHITECT AND PRACTICAL BUILDER. Plans and Specifications carefully pre pared for dwelling houses and public buildings. Also estimations of buildings completed throughout. All work finished at the time specified Oiiieein Bee Hive building. t27 $100,000 TO LOAN! All parties desiring loan of money can bo accommodated by calling on the undersigned. We loan sums from &500 to Ten Thousand Dollars taking first mortgage on real estate as security. Rate of interest depends on amount desired. Give us avail. ROGERS fe HENLEY.

HEALTH IS WEALTH.

Dr. E. C. West's Nerve and Brain Treatment;, a guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizziness, Convulsion' Fits, Nervous Neuralgia, Headache, Nervous Prostration cansed by the use of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental Depression, Softening of the Br-iin resulting in Insanity and leading to misery, decay and death, Premature Old age, Barrenness', ,Loss of Power in either sex, Involuntarp Losses and Spermatorahoea caused by overexertion of the brain, self-abuse or over-indulgence. Each box con tains one month's treatment.. One! dollar a box, or six boxes for five dollars; sent by mail prepaid on receipt ot price. We guarantee six boxes to cure any case. With eaeh order received by us for six boxes, accompanied with five dollars, we will send '.he purchaser onr written guarantee to refund the money if the treatment does not effect a cure. Guarantees issued only by H. LINDLEY. Bloomington, Inrt. la a. Sororolgn Ketnody ht oil Complaint, peculiar to Mishawaka, Ind, Deo. 1, 1882. Dear Mr.- Overwork has done for me what iL does for many. Desiring to benefit suffering women, I add my testimony to the vaiuo of Zoa-Pi,ora. For Ave yeara I suffered greatly with Prolapsus, being obliged to use i supporter during all those painful, weary years; but, thanks to your medicine, I wear It no more. I laid iton'after using one and a half bottlis. I am not well, but f work all the time, ;ad am better than I ever expected to be. You may use my letter, and if any ne wishes to write me for more information, give them my full address. Mrsa C. G. ,x J EliHKTCy ILIuE, lil., itprii 23, 1882. , Dear Sir; I am more than pleased with the effect Of your Zon-PUora in our daughter'8 case. I am surprised to see how she has improved. Sho is gaining in weight and color, and I think feels better than she ever did; her nerves are steady, and tho distress in her chest is entirely gone. 1 flrmly believe that Zon-Phora is all that has saved her life. I nur willing you should use my letter, for I am not afraid to tell what a wonderful cure your medicine is. Yours respectfully, T "' Mks. Sakah Randolph. N. B. This was a en so of suppression. From Mrs. John Spitler, Ko. 28 Wilt St, Fort WayneInd. I have suffered for sixteen years with spasmodic pain in my head and general nervous debility. Recently I had a severe attack of pain in my head, caused by weakness and r.ervous exhaustion. 1 thought I should die. My husband said we would test Zoa-Pbora thoroughly. He gave it to ma according to directions &r severe canes, and in less than two hours 1 had complete relief. I edvlseall ladles who suffer from nervous or sick hcadiclie, or any form of female weaknesa, to use Xoa-Phom. There is no medicine to compare with it. May 15, 1S82. Oar Pamphlet on Ilseases of Women and (31113!! Bent ghatis. Every woman above 15 years of age, especially Mothers should read it Address IX. PEIiGELIiY & CO. Sold by Druggists. Kalumazoo, Mich. A II letters marked private aro read by Dr. Pe.vgklIi only Sold only by H. Lindley and J. M. Faris. Piles are frequently preceded by a sense of weight in the back, loins and lower pare of the abdomen, causing the patient to suppose he has some affection ot the kidneys or neigh ing organs. At times, symptoms of indigestion are present, as flatukney, uneasiness of the stomach, etc. A moisture, like per.c pi ration, producing a very disagreeable itching-, partieularly at night after getting warm in bed, is a very common attendant. Blind Bleeding and Itching Piles yield at once to the application of Dr. Bosanko's Pile Remedy, which av.,.3 directly upouthe parts affected, absorhiug the Tumor?, allaying the intense itching and effecting a permanent cure, where all other remedies have failed. Do not deiav until tho drain on the system produces permanent disability, but try it and be cured. Price, 50 cents. Sent prepaid on receipt of price. Address." The Dr. Bosanko Medicine Co., Piqua, Ohio. Sld by Hiram Lixoley, WANT OF FAITH. If H. Lindley's, the Druggist, does not succeed it is not for the want of faith. He has such faith iu Dr.- Bosanko' s Congh and Lung Syrup as a remedy for Coughs, Colds, Consumption, and Lung affections, that he will give a bottle free to each and every one who is need of a medicine of this kind. CAUSE OF FAILURE. Want of confidence accounts for half of tho business failures of to-day H. Lixdley's, the Druggistf is not liable to fail for the want of confidence in Dr. Bosanko's Cough and Lung Syrup, for he gives away a bottle free to all who are suffering with Coughs, Colds. Asthma, Consumption and all arlectious of the Throat nnd Lungs. FREE! RELIABLE SELF-CURE. A favorite urpsnrintion of onn of tha most noted mid suceeASful ciwcialists in the U.S. (now retlredi lor tliciirf Xvrvou nihility, Xioat ytntthood, Wrakneen and lircni). Hen iu jilui u settled ouveltipei-eo. Druggists cau fill it. Address DR. WARD & CO.. Louisiana. Mo. WRIGHOTM VEGETABLES Secure Healthy action to the Liver mum ar d relieve all toil' Purely VesotaWe; Ho Cnplnjf. Price 25o. All BroggUti,

INSURE AGAINST AGGWmt. Man's pathway is beset by dangers. Earth, air and see conspire against him. All the old perils the cyclone, the thunderbolt, the treacherous ice-crust, the run-a-way, the shipwreck &e., remain. Modern civilization bas furnished the flying railway taain, the steam boiler, the buzz-saw, fcc, and daily adds to the category. Accident Insurance has become indispensible to every prudent man. The old and reliable Travelers' Insurance Compac riay, of Hartford, meets this want exactly. L. D. Rogers, Agt., 9-23 Bloomington, Ind.,

V FOB SALJS. . Large House and one acre of ground on 1st street. A cod House nnd sis acres 0 grouud in the city limits, Two Houses and lots on north Bail Road Street. ROGERS & HENLEY, Agte. 3f Below is a partial list of those who carry Life Policies in the New York Life Insurance Company: Dr. J. D. Maxwell, Hon. R. C. Foster, Hon. R. W. Miers, Hon. W. C. Duncan, - W.B.Hughes, S. E. Carmichael, C, S. Alexander, Rev. A. B. Philputj . Prof. E. P. Cole, Prof. S. B. Wylie, W. S. Bradfute, E. P. Adams, O. H. Wade, Rev. J. A. Bower, 1 C. 0. DuBois, See L. D. Rogers, Special Agent, and get one. tf W. B. Baker.. S. Neeld. BAKER & NEELD. BJLOOMISTGTOX, - - l3TT. Having bought the Stock of John P. Smith and greatly increased, it, we are now prepared to sell at the very lowest rates any kind of furniture; Call at our store on the north side and look at stock and learn Prices. Bloomington, Ind., August 25, 1883. For it is of Great Importance! MATHEWS & TURNER. ' We have moved into our new room in the new block on W est 5 th st, with a full scock of new goods in the f urn iture line. Every thing that yon need is kept by tuem. As we propose to sell them at he very lowest cash prices, the citizens of Stanford Harrodsburg, Ellettsville, and Unionville and the country round for J0 miles are invited to come and see us and leern our prices and wet guarantee satisfaction. No trouble to show goods. Billiard Parlor South side the Square. BLOOMINGTON, IND. 3 o a o 0 o M . 5 2" S o 1 m h o w 1-3 O This Parlor is conducted striclli on a moral basis, and the amuse ment loving people are invited t call and enjoy a game of Pool ot BUiards. W. S. DAUGIIERTY, Pro'k Walnut Street HOTEL, BLOOMINGTON, IND. Located on the East side of th square. Terms reasonable, the day or week. Boarders bj Special induce ments to traveling men. eft WANTED. To buy real estate either in town or country. Also have for sale valuable proportv. Enquire of EAST & EAST

gop Head

4 . Is, I pig 3 en$ $ I CO V' T FJ ' e s 5 Q 5 3 ' o

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