St. Joseph County Independent, Volume 18, Number 46, Walkerton, St. Joseph County, 3 June 1893 — Page 2

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CHAPTER XX— Cimtlntiei’. “Do you think, Captain, tl at that Moody Kidd is comin< up this way?” “I am incl ncd to think he is.” he does wdl you t ght him?” ^n\icv*» —tWns^L^m—hm.'e for,” said Fox. By this time they h d rea< h <1 the shore, where Frenau tl was waiting wLh the boa 1 , and Fox an . his party i started for the Wanderer. The naan who had been fat or d with | the captain’s iep ies at on. e became an ! oracle —the most ini] octant ma i in the ; town for the tin e, and a central figure ‘ about which wondering groups gath- i ered wherever he went. The reason tor Capt. Fox's return ; was now plain to the dullest comprehension. He he had been sent from New York to meet - nd « est:oy Ca t. Kidd, the monster pirate of the » c- ans. i And it was the general belief that if Capt. Kidd had the temer.ty to come j within sight of Capt. Fox’s ship, that i the fate of ihe former would be sealed to a dead certain'y. Hereto ore Ralph I on ham had teen 1 the naval hero of Sag Hari or, but with an inconsistency and forgetfulness peculiar to the ra e at al timesand m all conditions, they forgot the old idol in the glaring presence of this grand new one. Capta n Fox was the man, and some j of the more sanguine residents, Doctor 1 Hedges among them, believed that he . would have hid I within the week, if he was within rea h. Squire Condit never did run with the ! crowd; he was eccentric, and he had the I oldness to assert himself. As a deacon he could not conscientiously lay a wager, ' ut he told Doctor Hedges: I “I’ll give you a farm of two hundred ' acres, doctor, if this fellow Fox catches Kidd; that is, if Kidd is in these waters. ; if you’ll give me one hundred acres of equally good land, if Ralph Denham ' catches him.” “I’ll agree to that," said the doctor,! eagerly. Squire Condit was sorely perplexed. | Like Lieut. Hedges and Lea Hedges, he ! was sure there was something wrong. ! and his wife and daughter were a.so sure, but neither one could say, even indefinitely, where that something ; wrong was. Telling Don to show Colonel Graham to the cabin, Fox, on reaching the deck ( of the Wanderer, drew Frenauld to one i side and said, in a low tone: "Tfiat man Thrasher should be here / by time. ———

^^Rff^^R^^^shouldhave reached the town, sir?” “That is just what I do mean. Go ashore again; if he is there bring him aboard at once; if not, wait till he ar- i rives. You understand me?' “I do, clearly.” “And you will still maintain a strict reticence with the people ashore, unless ' you can add to the impression that we are here to watch for Captain Kidd." “All right, sir," replied Frenauld, I turning away with much almira'ion for the adroitness with which Fox was turning this report to his own account. Captain Fox was prevented from going down to talk to Colonel Graham by the arrival of a gig from the Sea Hawk, ; bearing Lieutenant Hedges, the otllcer j in command. The instant Fox saw the fme sturdy sailor, he advanced to h m with extended hand, saying, after the cordial salutation was over: “There will be plenty of work for both of us pretty soon, Lieutenant. Capt. Denham will be here in a few da>s with a supply ship for the Sea Hawk and Wanderer. In the meantini ■. how are you off lor ammun.t o i?” "We have a lair supply, sir,” replied the Lieutenant, handing Fox what the brave fellow supi used was his own captain’s letter, instructing him to report io Fox. Without looking at the letter, Fox said: “Ah, yes, Capt. Denham’s letter asking you to report to me. Well, we shall consider that done. Now, send me at once a list of all your arms, their condition, the amount and kind of ammunition on hand; the strength of jour crew, with a report on the general condition of the Sea Hawk. You se ■, Lieutenant, while I am not in actual command, it is very essential far ne Io know exactly what I am responsible for. ” “That, Capt. Fox, is eminently right an I proper,’' said Mr. Hedges, mu h impresse 1 with the precaution and evidence of executive ability evinced by

his superior. “Might I ask, sir, if there ,-1 is a possibility of the Sea Hawk being ordered to sea any time very soon?” “A possibility, but not a strong probability. My belief is, that Capt. IP n,iam will be back before your ship j oes i ro sea. But the chances are that the i Wanderer may leave to-morrow or next ■ day; it will depend on reports expected from New York. Should Igo to sea I will borrow all your ammunition, as I | am about out, and you can get a replenish from the supply ship that Capt. j Denham will bring on.” “I shall do as you order in that mat- I ter,” said Lieut. Hedges, saluting and ' turning away •Capt. Fox watched the commanding ; officer of the Sea Hawk until tlje boat > that carried him came alongside his ; own ship. Fo ; looked pleased with himself and 1

every one else, as he had good reason ! to be. So far he had succeeded with his cus- I ternary luck; and the future looked . golden with a harvest of rare promise. Ho was not the n an to be carried awry by success. So iar he had shottn much of the character of the abused ’ animal whosd name .he had assumed, ; but to cunning he now added a wonder- . ful caution. His immediate plan was to caytuie the Sea Hawk, ami fill her with his own and such of Denham’s men as could be induced to embark under the black t ag. But fearing that he might be detected bi fore he could perfect his scheme, he

arranged to have the Sea Hawk depleted of ammunition, so that she could make little or no resistance should it lecome necessary to appeal to his last resort—force. By fa r means or foul he should get Lea Hedges and Ellen Condit on board the Wanderer, w th such other maidens as had struck the coarse fancies of his other officers, and then put to sea with two fleet vesse.s t’ at would enable him to plundt r ri^ht an I left without fear, ■ and to do tioy any force that might be sent against him. He ieltsure that Ralph Denham, in the i power of the jeah us Montauk chief,!

was as good as dead, yet be alive long ' enough to keep him in reserve as a ■ means of teirorizing Colonel Graham, j or Lord l’alitou should he refuse to a> : cede to his additional terms. So far. everything looked to the carrying < ut of this bold programme with . success. The most difficult part of the ; work was already accomplished, and he j i was a strong believer in the proverb i I hat "what is Well begun is half fin- i ished. ” I Feeling very much pleased with him- ' ! self, as from his peculiar standpoint he ! ; had certainly a right to be, Captain Fox ! w nt down to the cabin, where sat I (olonel Giaham, looking anything but jhappy. I “Yo i don't look w< 11, Colonel,” said ; Fox, with more familiarity of manner than he had ever belore asu ned to the man who no v felt sure that in law, as well as in fact, he was Lord l’alitou. “You know I have been sick." “I know that, my lord." < olonel Graham waved his hand in a depreca’ory way, and continued: 1 Hat idiot of a Doctor Hedges! draine Imeof my last drop of bloo 1— I curse his barbarous method—and I did ! not then and never had any blood to spare for these leeches.” “But what blood you have in your । veins, Colonel, is the best in England,” ! said Fox, with a sly wink. "You persist in bringing in matters! that I would rather not have discussed. Now, will yon pi rmit me to speak for ! a while without any of those irrelevant ineiruptions?” asked Graham, pettishly. “Cer ainly. Are you not my guest? 1 Therefore, talk all night i! you find the , exercise pleasant and healthful.” Without heeding the ludeness, for l Graham, villain though he was, had the breeding of a gentleman, he went on to advise Captain Fox. "You lave finished your work here, Kidd ’’ “I beg your pardon, Lord Paliton; ' sorry to interrupt you agiin, but my I name is Fox, F-o-x. Captain Kidd is another follow. He is a cursed pirate out on the raging seas. He’s a man that a thousand gendarmes are creaking to hang. He's a man that Lord l’ali'en could not assort ” "Well, well, I ask your pardon,” said Graham, with a smile as grim as the pirate’s humor, “I am at fault there. But I was going to say that the rumor is out that Kidd is in these waters, and very soon there will be a hot chase. My ad^dc^lher^foi-^J^

n^in^youcan~do so with safety. I will 1 remain here a short time on a little j private mission, and if I do not succeed i I will go to New York and thence home I to England.” “Be ore you go I have some more i business with you.” sa d Fox. with that ! startling, decisive manner which he coul I so suddenly assume. “But before sec ng to that I have business of great importance to myself to attend to. I ’ came with one ship; I propose to leave 1 with two. I camo here a single man; I f prorose to go away with a wife ” : “With a wife?” echoed Graham, “Certainly; I am old enough to mirry, Iso are you. The face of the charming Indian princess—l admire your taste — I has struck your fancy; the face of the i daughter of the man that Med you so i freely has impressed itself on my too susceptible heart. The father is willing, and the lady will be: but if she is n t, why. I’ll play the part of Romulus and i tlie Sabine ” “I beg your pardon, sir.” said Don, putting Iris head inside the cabin do r, i ”bu\ sir, Mr. Fr. nauM wants to see you I at. once." “Tell him to come here.” Frenauld cam in looking very much i excited, a- d s id: “[have brought Thrasher on board, 1 sir.” "That is right. Has Thrasher fright- ■ ened you that you look so ashy ” "No, Captain; but there has a postl rider just come through from New York : with letters for Captain Denham. He I swears fl at Denham never was in New 1 York ” i “Hold!” thundered lox. “Back to ; your boat, at on, e, man, and away to ; arrest this fellow, and bring him on ; board. Tell the people he is a fraud and an impostor—the murderer of the i post-rider. Do not lose a second. This ■ should have been done at once.” Frenauld sprang into the boat, and the puzzled sailors rowed lack with all speed lor the town, over which the shadows of night were settling. And Fox went I ack to the cabin, but there was a cloud on his brow, and his confi-

dent manner was gone. < APT ATV DENHAM'S GHOST. Uncas, chief of the Montauks, was to remain in Sag Harbor until he had had another meeting with Captain Fox. It may be said, not in extenuation as much as in explanation of the Indian’s conduct, that he believed in Captain Fox as a Iriend, as did Doctor Hedges, and :hat is saying a great deal for his credulity. Until recently ho had kept । his dislike for Captain Denham, a disI like born of his impetuous love for Lea ! Hedges, to himself. I Put Fox bad discovered his feelings, : and with that rare skill he had for bind- ; ing men to him through their weaki nesses, he availed himself of the pasj sions of the Montauk. It had been I ncas’ desire to meet

; Captain Denham in combat, man to i man and blade to blade, foolishly be- । lieving—as had been the custom of his ’ barbarous ancestors —that the hand and heart of the lady in question would be at once given to the victor. Captain Fox destroyed his thought, ■ or rather supplanted it with another , that was much safer, if not equally ; heroic. ! The chief reasoned that if the great Captain Fox —the whites of Sag Harbor ( said he was great —could a [vise as- ■ sassination, it was not so wrong after : all. Fox had showed him that Denham i was really a very bad man, and that

instead of being a sailor, as the people thought, he was a pirate, substituting his own character with great skill for tnat of his victim. Crime becomes much easier if the criminal can delude himself into the inought that good is to result to others tro n the act ho contemplates, so Eneas soon began to look on himself as an instrument of justice. Except Old Somonk, his son and wlfe.l with Hie two warriors wh . helped to , carry Ralph Denham from the boat to the vau t, not one of the Montauks knrw anything about the murderous en-/ terprise in which their chief was en 3 ga.ed; and even if all knew it and deJ predated it, fidelity to the r chief wouli pi ee ent an act of betrayal. । But t ncas had a spy on his acts, i 1° drea,led wi >b eurerstltioua । 1 ar that is often found associated witZ the grea'est physical courage. j He wished old Dinah as dead as (■ । believed L&lph Denham would soon b» but neither he nor any of his tri®*- ■ would have dared to raise a hai , ' against her. | From old Dinah’s bold statemq,nt^" ' chief had suspected that she kne, K i but his fear of her inters erenea w aqi offset by his faith in the fidelity of , ' I people who hud his secret. ' Dinah lost no Hmo a’ ter t r rijuys ' ) with his white visitors ami Hp | ants for Sag Harbor. She sent an jp ! dian lad to I’ntilla, the beautiful sister of the chief, asking l.er to come to hd" hut. | Dinah at once began prepa 1 ations fir the work she had set herself. Abo'jt her thin neck she st ung a number/f peculiar shell-necklaces. About h> head sho wound tightly a whit • turba.l an 1 bound it into place by a snake sb naturally preserved, that the eyes ami tongue, in the center of her foreheav, seemed 1 ashing and darting. About her lank arms she wound oth^ 1 snakes, and they looked to be held ih pl a e by their own contractions. Over her sh ulders she threw a ecatlet mantle, decorated with tinsel stars, the moon in all its stag is, and queer < abalistie characters, all the more aw.cl to the ignorant Indians for their iepresent.ng nothing in particular. This dene, Dinah took a long staff, not the one she usually carried, but another t hat looked us much like a grea’ serpi nt us thero Is the Egyptians tried to palm o.T on Moses, and her toilet was complete. She next sat down on a l.igh stool in her cabin do r, a sight to alarm the strongest if she appeared unexpectedly, and waiti d for the coming of I ntilla. In a few minutes a light, quick step was heard approaching, and then a shadow fell a toss the threshold. i ntilla stood there, lut the old blaeit woman, without looking up, said in a \o:ce'ha' seemed to come from some far-off place: “ I utiila of de Montauks ” “Yes, Dinah.” " You < n me hez got to run a race will death. We must git ahead of 'im, en dr.ve ’im lack from de grave.” I am leudy," said I ntilla, eagerly; “let us be going. ’’ The old en ne seized her staff, tock from the floor near by a basket containing an earthen dish and sundry parcels of herbs, and then started off. They bent their course to the we?i; the Indian girl walking wi’h the light.

sprmgy step of a tawn. end JL. vigor ti nt was wonderful in w.a’si her years. With ut an instant’s hesitation W stop they hurrie i on, till the hill, with the vault at Its base, rose before them. They saw Gid Somonk and his wile cooking before a little Ure outside, nnd Y< ung Scnu nk and two other Indians lying on tiie grass and smoking with an air of la .y contentment. At s ght of Cntilla and Dinah the men ang to their feet ami Old Somonk nnd his wife stopp'd their work and looked up in sur; rise. \\ ithout a momt ut’s hesitation Dinah walked up to the fire, removed the pot boiling thereon and replaced it with her own. Into this she put some water and several bunches of herbs, muttering to herself the while. Then she grasj ”d her staff as a drum-maor doe - his I atom whirling it around imr si ake-crowned head, and I egan to dance about the fire, shouting ou’ a wild song, of which toe terrified listeners could not.understand a word. St< pping suddenly, she drew Cntilla near to her, and facing the terrified Itdians, the said aloud: "De sperrits of de dead command dat all leave lut de sistah of de chief et Dii a., de survint o' de sperrits. Go, Somonk, on yer family; go, ye Mori' tanks watchin’ n gh; go to de village d do Montauk-, en stay dar until we jin? Ito he continue;*.! Not Yet ol<!. If Cervantes was the father of tlie modern novel we may wonder what he wotl d think of some of his greav great-grand-children. writes Grander Matthews in the Cosmopolitan What, for example, would be h> opinion of the Naulahka, written b' a Londoner who had been East and by a New Yorker who had been West? Cervantes grew to rnanhoi <1 with the sons of the Conquistador*-*, with the men of iron who had won for Spam / the golden lands of would he have foregathered ^J £ . CGn . ' Argonauts of '49? A SCaHVQ^ueNe \ : fury before his birth the I‘wßk^Mcuj I had pushed their way around in search of Golconda an:l Cathay; w aid he have been interested bythii story of the West and the East? Os one thing, indeed, we may fair ly be certain—that Cervantes would not have been at all surprised by thi manner of the Naulahka. for it is i tale of a kind he was abundantly fa , miliar with. It is a story of a sori older by far than Don Quixote; it i> . a svory, in fact, of the sort that Dot I Quixote was written to satirize. D : the aew tale we have new dresses, G j course, and new scenery and nev ; property, but the tale itself is th) ; i old, old story of the hero in search cf > adventure; it is the tale of the hex) ■ always on the brink of death, bit 5 bearing a charmed life; it is the tae 1 of the hero skilled in all manner 5 ' of sports, expert with all manner d weapons, fertile in resources ani r pron.pt in decision; it is the tale, ii ,• shot", of the bravura hero of concert 1 pitch romance. What is Tarvin cl t Top&z but A mad is of Gaul? Whai r is the Critcbton of Colorado bui ‘ I’almerin of England, with all tie । modern improvements? What is lie a but Delian is of Greece, brought dowa t to date?

) ! , Curious Trades. ; I f rench economy is proverbial. In-' Vf'n ® S3y l Dg that !l Frenchman! J will live on what an American will! throw away, is almost too well known : ‘' Pa fa^t^that 1 Neverthe les> it j jis a rat that r.gid economy is not: . only inbred but inborn in the French i Jnatton Fromt nisariscs tho nu m b « ' tbom | S tra ‘ leS t 0 ' 0 fo “ nd “monu’ ' them. Every one founded upon the principle of saving what others throw j a / ‘ Chiffonnier,” which originally I meant “ragpicker,” lias grown to have - another meaning, and now the chifloonier collects manv things besides! rags. Bits of un, lead, cigar stunqs, । ■ leather, and even bits of broken glass । are all “grist, to their mill.” The ' last seems the most curious article to I collect; but when gather-ed and de- 1 Hvered to the proper party, it is! . djeken and fused, becoming through i t? arUticia? ° f co l 1 ? rs « a certain ki id »mrble. Cigar stumps I i course, into a va ! x smoking materials. The tin,"! solder, melted together, are ^^Sd^iMUjidg^-welghts, and so w swWoMgli the gJmut. aunj his brings to mind two prosper-! ous industries which are the result of! the discarded tin can. In some' places these are gathered and placed ! under great heat, whereupon the tin ! and solder fail to the bottom through ' a screen. Here they are gathered up ! again for use, as good as new. Another industry is the converting of these same tin cans into toys. By j heat they are opened, and pressed out flat Down comes a die, and i presto! before you lies a dozen tin soldiers, only awaiting their gorgeous 1 suits of paint There is just cue thing for which, ' when discarded, the world never had any second hand use. Even as food i for goats they have not been a sue.- ! cess. It is said that the goat who ! delights to browse in posters and tin ' cans, refuses—the hoop skirt. And again the problem seems likely to j loom up before the public,—what is to be done with discarded crinoline, for even the French with all their ingenuity and economy, have seemed unable to find a use for it. Changed Ills Mind. “I tell you, Jessop,” said the Fourth street lawyer to the Elm) street real estate man as they passed , the banana stand on the corner, . “there’s a fruit that is not properly appreciated.” “What fruit?” “The banana,” said he positively. . “Why not?” asked the other da- ! biously. “Why? Why? Man alive, don’t ! you know that the banana is one of : the greatest blessings a divine Cre-! ator ever showered down on human- 1 ity?” “Cannot say that I did.”

man, there is as much nu- ' tHrnent in one banana as there is in three u-cent loaves of bread—it has been proved Ly analysis. The fruit can be eaten as it is, raw or sliced with cream or made into delicious ices or frie 1 or baked. There is a tin t! ur for breadstufTs made from it when dried; sausage and beer can be made from the pulp properly pre- i pared, the juice of the peel contains a substance that makes a really in-' delible ink and another acid that makes better vinegar than the best apple cider. ••And that isn’t all—out of the tenacious fibers of the peel a textile fabric is now being made which possesse< remarkable strength and flexibility and Gos unusual beauty. And that isn’t all, either —when I was in New York I found G,OuO men employed in making” Juit then his feet struck something ■ long, slim, slick, ami slippery lying ; upon the side walk. His umbrella ! flew out of his hand, and lie kicked i an ash barrel over into the gutter as ' he fell. And when lie leaped furiously to his feet the only thing the bystanders heard him say was: “Dod gast a banana anyway!”—. Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. Books Make of Metal. Books were originally metal plates and boards, cr the inner bark of trees. In many cabinets may be found the discharges of soldiers, written .on copper plates. Whilst an agriculturist at Benares, the sacred city of the Hindus in Northern India, was re- i centiy tilling his ground, he came upon a copper plate. A search brought to light several others. Twenty-four of tlie plates are about eighteen inches ! long by twelve inches broad, and three , ,^'ei vc inches by eight inches. The have huge copper seals with filings attached to the, plates, while , j three, which appear to constitute j ^ne book, were linked together. The ; rplatcs bear incriptions relating to , dealings in land in the time of Govind Chandra Deva, Sambat 1196-1149 B.i C. Hesiod’s books were written on leaden tallies; lead was used for writ- ; Ing, rolled up like a cylinder. Montfaucon notices a very ancient book of eight leaden leaves, which on the back, had rings fastened by a small leaden rod to keep them together. They were afterwards engraved on bronze. The laws of the Cretans were on bronze tablets; the Romans etched their public records on brass. The speech of Claudius, engraved ou plates of bronze, is preserved at Lyons. Several bronze tablets have been dug up in Tuscany. Treaties between the Romans, Spartans, and the Jews were written on brass; and estates, for better security, were made over on this enduring metal. Restoring a Withered Arm. The story comes from London of a wonderful surgical operation that promises to be successful. Five years ago a workman injured his right arm and a careless surgeon so treated it that it withered and became useless. Recently it was decided to examine the arm. and it was accordingly orened and explored. The nerve was

| found to be partially divided. Two । tresh ends were made and a section of ! from a live rabbit I was stitched in. The patient has | ''ecovered the power in his arm, I which is regaining its original size, i an ih^J l S his employment Fbiladelphia Record. One’s Age. ha™^ W ,! ninßne!iS Os women l aSSe, l a certain age-and of nJn’ki tO % f ° r that to vow nank y the number of birthdays they nave had is proverbial the world over I -tn France, which is reputed the most j courteous country in the world the I sensitiveness of persons who are no longer young i 3 almost universally । respected. Even in the courts of । justice away is sometimes found to ( escape the necessity of a frank avowal. ' *u A ? a . dv whose appearance indicated that she had left her fortieth year behind her, was not long ago ordered 1 b < the President or judge of the court ^Ol^he^ir^ 1 ^ 3 ’ tell how j “Ty-two years, monsieur le presi-

। dent,” she murmured. I The judge merely smiled at this j very indefinite reply, and pressed her ! no further. | Another lady of more than uncer- ; tain age, evaded a reply most cleverly. J She was a woman who did not care a , fig who knew how old she was, but • deemed the question impertinent, 1 cons dering the source. I “And may 1 ask how old you are?” inquired a man of her acquaintance. “Certainly,” she replied, with a bland smile, and at once related an anecdote in connection with the circumstance of her having had this question put to her at some previous period. And until the next day the questioner never realized that she had entirely avoided answering his querry. “Certainly,” he might ask, she might have replied, but it rested with her to say whether she would give him any satisfaction. An I'ncanny Tree. Here is a story, which may or may not be true, of a vegetable wonder. A traveler was recently in Mexico on a botanical expedition. One day lie saw a dark object on one of the outlying spurs of the Sierra Madre Mountains. He saw it had long, slender limbs, drooping like a weeping willow. They had a slimy, snaky ap- I pearance, and at'times the whole tree 1 seemed to writhe. One day he saw । a bird circle around it for some time, and then alight on the top. Then the branches began to move and curl : upward. They turned around the j bird, which began to cry, and drew it j

down until he lost sicht of it. The , botanist tried, as he had several i times lefore, to climb the eminence, j The rock on which he stepped loosened and fell, himself with it. He was not injured, and he found that the rock left quite a cavity. He looked in, and saw quite a cavern, and felt a current ot fresh air blowing on his face. With Ins trowel he enlarged the hole so to admit of his ascent. He saw the flattened body of tlie bird fall to the ground, which ! was covered with bones and leathers. | The tree was not above twenty feet in height, 1 ut covered a great area. ; Its trunk was of prodigious thick- i ness. knotted and scaly. From the ' top of this trunk, a few feet from the ground, its slimy branches curved upward ami downwards, nearly touching the ground with their tips. On his venturing to touch lightly one (>f the limbs it closed upon his hand with such force that it tore the skin , when lie wrenched it away. There , was i o foliage on the tree. — Only a Spool of Thread. ‘•To make a spool of thread,” says a manufacturer, “is a complicated process. Only the very best Sea Island cott n can be U'Cd for this , purp-se. The cotton is taken in a ‘ raw state, and torn all to pieces by a machine called a -breaker.’ : “It then goes through several other ' ' machines, by which it is carefully ' ; combed and freed from impurities, j A machine called a ‘slubber’ then 1 takes it up, and twists it out intc s ift white yarn. “This is carefully combed again, and it is then taken into another department, where several small stands i < f this yarn are twisted together, and you then have six-cord thread, which, after it is bleached, is ready for the ' market. “Another interesting thing is ths

numbering of the thread. Every ! lady knows the size of the thread j I that she requires for doing a certain ■ piece of work, but very few of them - know how it came to be so numbered. “You see, when cotton thread was ' first made 840 yards of it weighed ■ just one pound. This was called No. ;1, and if a pound contained just I twice this number of yards it was ; called No. 2, and so on.” “We Knows ’Um.” It was at a banquet in Wash-ngt n,

given to a large body or Congressmen, Imt stly from the rural districts. The I tables were elegant, and it was a i scene of fairy splendor, so to speak. !On one table only were the decora- ’ tions of palm leaves. ! “Here,” said a Congressman to the * colored head waiter, “why don’t you ! put them things on our tables, too?” | pointing to the plants. 1 The head waiter didn’t know he 1 was a Congressman. . “We can’t do it, boss,” he whisj pered confidentially. “Dey’s mostly I Congressmen at all de tablesj'cepting ; dat one; an’ if we put pa’ms on dere 1 j tables they take ’um for celery an’ eat j I’um all up, sho. ‘Deed dey would, 1 1 boss. We knows ’um.” 1 ; ■ | Look out for something disagreea- , | ble when a man prefaces his remarks ;I by saying that he wouldn’t say any- | ; thing about it if he didn’t regard j! it as his duty.

WAS TOO MEAN. A Squint and Red Hair Causes a Seen* Between Two Dear Friends. I was amused at the conversation between two young girls at Ilion the m he lift Venil i g ‘ ran something like this and shows that femininity is the same the world over: hav^”’ ^ drr * e ’ w h a t a lovely hat you ‘•Do you think so?” with a pleased smde “Why, i think it P‘ e ^ T Jut t W° d marnnia every time I put it on that I would never wear it again.” ^hy, I think it is the most becoming thing you ever wore ” “Do you’ Now, I think that veil thml ia i' e BOt 18 the “ O3t bewitching style”l^ er SaW ’ R 1 had your “Now, how mean you are!” biushot me ” * 1 kQOW you are making fun

“Oh n w^Jv^ not ’” ind ‘Snantly. On, whe-e did you get that lovelv Pin.-' i think it is the prettiest thing I have ever seen.” 8

“Well, I will tell you. Charus — gave it to me—but you must never, never tell. I told mamma that Ella F— — gave it to me, for she doesn’t believe in me having a fellow, you

know ” “How mean! 1 think your Charlie is the sweetest fellow I ever saw, with the exception of my Fred. You know that Charlie squints, and” “Squints! Who squints?” “Why, Charlie does, and” “Mell, if he does squint, he hasn’t got red hair. If my fellow had red hair as red as your Fred has, 1” “Well,” indignantly, “if he has got red hair, he doesn’t have to carry a teiescope, or a compass, or a fieldglass, or a sextant to find out where he is at Charlie went down by the electric light works at Little Falls the other night He heard the engine in the works puffing away. Being nearsighted, he couldn’t see where he was. He was found there standing patiently in the morning, and a switchman noticed him and asked him what he was doing there, •Waiting for the t:ain to go bv,’he said, pointing to the electric 'light works.” “Oh, you mean thing! You just made that up out of whole cloth. Anyway your Fred is accused of setting fire to the buildings destroyed in Little Falls. I heard that, he laid down in the bay at the Rockton barn, and|his hair set fire” As there was a strong prospect of a fight right at this point the observer got away from the scene as quickly as possible.—Little Falls Budget.

A Crazy Sort of Will, A Parisian restaurant-keeper, who departea this life some years ago, left his fortune, a matter of two hundred and tifty thousand francs, to his two nephews. To this beque-t a curious condition was affixed. The [testator — stipulated that, instead of the epitaph usually to be read on tombstones, his nephews should attach to that which marked his final restingplace a culinary recipe, to be renewed daily. To facilitate this, he left three hundred and sixty-Uve such recipes, the object in view according to his will, being to be useful to his fellow-citizens after his death. There exists, it should be said, in France an Epitaph Committee, and the members of the same absolutely refuse to allow the condition indicated in the dead man’s will to be carried out. i The unpleasant consequence for the nephews of the deceased is that, aci cording to the conditions of the will, they cannot touch the fortune left unless their late uncle’s ^instructions be complied with. An Ingenious Swindle. A novel kind of swindle was practiced in a German town the other ' day. A man struggling along under a heavy burden suddenly stumbled and crashed through a plate-glass window. The proprietor of the store demanded payment. The porter said he had no money.' Passersby advised that he be searched. A thousandmark note was found on him, which, he said, belonged to his employer. The storekeeper, however, deducted a hundred marks for the value of his window and handed 900 marks change to the porter, who went away swearing and protesting. A little later the storekeeper discovered the thousandmark note was spurious. — His Argument

A professor, who used to teach the grandfathers of the present generation of students, objected to the pro- _ nunciation of “wound”, as if it were spelled “woond,” and his students used to hunt for chances to make him । explain his objections. One day be stopped a student who was reading to the class, and said: “How do you pronounce that word?” “Woond. . sir, ’’ The professor looked ugly, and replied: “I have never foond any groond for giving it that soond. Go nn. ”

UH. Explicit Information. A census gatherer was collecting the papers from the different houses in one of the lower districts of a large town, and an intelligent-looking woman handed him a document which contained an amusing entry. The blank, instead of reading bluntly, “Married or single?” put the question indirectly thus: “Condition as to marriage?” Cnder this head the woman had written: “Hard up afore marriage, worse afterward. ” Bran. Authorities disagree as to value of bran as food for stock, and some have boldly claimed that it possesses nb value at all, owing not only to its indigestibility, but to the fact that it is being more or less adulterated. All agree, however, that it greatly increases the value of the manure of animals which are fed upon it