St. Joseph County Independent, Volume 17, Number 27, Walkerton, St. Joseph County, 23 January 1892 — Page 1

COUNTy St. Iniepeniwni.

VOLUME XVII.

WHO KNOWS WHAT A KISS IS? Seven Thousand Definitions from us Many Interested People. Some time ago Landon Tid-Bits of* fcrcd a 2-guinea prize for the best deliuition of a kiss. Seven thousand answers were received. The prize was awarded to Benjamin J. Greenwood of Tulse Hill, London, whose definition is herewith framed below: : An insipid and tasteless morsel, which: :beeomes delicious and delectable In pro-: ^portion as it is flavored witli love. : The following is a selection from some of the best definitions submitted: What the chimney-sweeper imprinted on the rosy lips of the scullery maid when she told him she favored his soot. The sweetest fruit on the tree of love. The oftener plucked the more abundant it grows. A thing of use to no one, but much prized by two. The baby’s right, the lover’s privilege, the parent's benison, and the hypocr -’s mask. That which you cannot give without taking and cannot take without giving. The food by which the flame of love is fed. The Hag of truce in the petty wars of courtship and marriage. The acme of agony to a bashful man. The only known “smack” that will calm a storm. A telegram to the heart in which the operator uses the “sounding” system. Nothing divided between two. Not enough for one, just enough for two, too much for three. The only really agreeable two-faced action under the sun, or on the moon, either. The sweetest labial of the world's language. A woman’s most effective argument, whether to cajole the heart of a father, control the humors of a husband, or console the griefs of childhood. Sometjiimr rather daue-crous, Sometliing rather nice. Something father wlyked, ’Though it can’t be called a vice. Some think It naughty, Others think it wrung, AU agree it s jolly, ’Though it don't last long. A kiss from a pretty girl is like having hot treacle poured down your back inHvT: ■ Hp* which 0.- U» eyA 7 ° ® ghneo I w.vv,vyi>oiiy'.* acting edition of “Romen and Juliet.” W hat the child receives free, what the young man steals, and what the old man buys. The drop that runneth over when the cup of love is full. That in which two heads are better than one. A kiss is three parts of speech—a transitive verb, an invisible noun, and a visible conjunction. Printing without ink, leaving no visible impression. Woman’s passport to her husband’s purse, and man’s passport to a woman's heart. When lips.of lovers meet tn bliss. The pleasing act is termed a "kiss,” But when the pair have wed each other The vapid thing is called a "bother." Love’s artillery, that is brought into action immediately on the call “to arms.” Contraction of the mouth due to enlargement of Hie heart. The sounding line used by a woman to fathom the depth of a man's weakness. An old-fashioned telegraphic arrangement for transmitting from one person to another various sensations that cannot bo Transmitted correctly by r any other medium known. Nature’s Volapuk—the universal language of love. A woman’s trump card in the game of love. An article that is always accepted, and (im) printed, but not always published. The actio' of the lips by which the real sentiments of the heart are either affectionately expressed or falsely disguised. I ahi just two and two, I am warm, I am eo/L And the parent of numbers that cannot bo told. I am lawful—unlawful—a duty, a fault. I ary often sold dear—good for nothing when bought. Au extra ordinary boon, and a matter of course. And yielded with pleasure when taken by force. A gift which is sometimes expected, seldom rejected,though often returned. The safety valve to an exuberance of tender .’ings. The lov s privilege and the pug dog’s right. What t. child gives, the lover steals, the foolish waste, and the old value. The most popular lip salve of the present day. A tonic, which in childhood may be administered with safety, but with great caution when childhood is past. The lover’s flag of truce after a quarrel. Love’s happiest expression, and sorrow’s tenderest balm. A carrom off the red. The anatomical juxtaposition of two orbicular oris muscles in a state of contraction. A good impression made by the seal of love. It is like the wind that blows; it is felt but not seen. The “pons asinorum” of courtship. A demonstration of love which will dry the baby’s tears, thrill the maiden’s heart, and soothe the ruffled feelings of a tired wife.

THE SICK LIST. Nick Nugent is improving. Miss May McDaniel has the grip. Thomas Faulkner is very ill with paralysis. Mrs. Seth Reed is recovering from the grip. George Leslie had a brush with the grip a day or so the forepart of the week. Al Young was down with tho grip from Wednesday to Saturday last week. Charlie Kuott is out after a week’s sickness. Doc. Reece took to his bed on Monday, but rallied in a day or se. Jeff Reece was a victim for a couple of days. Mrs. George Ross and little son have been quite sick. Mr. ami Mrs. Thomas Jolly are on the sick list, Horace Woodard has been down with the grip. John Mars, of the Wolfe tailoring establishment, has been sick. John Miller came home from North Liberty Tuesday evening with the grip. Mrs, Goss is numbered among the sick., Patrick Ryan is reported as improving. George Daugherty has been sick

with the grip. Mr. and Mrs. Peter Hummer are quite sick at this writing.—Friday. The attending physician reports Miss Lizzie Masterman much improved and he believes that she is on the road to recovery. Undo Sani at the Telephone. [Chicago Times.] Hallo, there Chili! What about the Baltimore affair? I want an opology uni I want it mighty c^ick. i woirt be nuiiied in iLe New’ Orleans matter. That you, Chili? Yes, v’e were interrupted. Now, as I was saying, I want an apology, an indemnity for the families of those sailors and a positive promise that those murderers shall be punished. What’s chat you say ? Can’t promise punishment until the courts have found tlio men guilty? Oh, that’s all rot. Blast your courts any — Confound it, Italy! you in again? No, we don’t hang the New Orleans lynchers. You don’t want me to usurp the functions of the courts, do you? Get off the wire.

Say, there, Chili. You needn’t talk to me about delny and your courts. Just see that you put up an apology and an indemnity and punish thuss rioters bes re Wednesday, or there’ll be war. See? What’s that you say? Oh, blast it all, that’s Italy agaiu! How in thunder can a nation diplomatize with the wires crossed in this way? ■ To Newspaper Bcrro wers. Did vou ever pause to reflect that you are a nuisance of the first water? Do you know that the neighbor from whom you borrow this very paper you are now reading, is often inconvenienced by you. He subscribes and pays for the paper for his own individual use and benefit; it is not done for your pleasure, education or comfort. He may not tell you so to your face, because the class of men who subscribe and pay for a newspaper are good, kind hearted fellows; but they do a good deal of thinking all the same when you ask for their newspaper. Stop borrowing and you will stop making a nuisance of yourself.—Ex. The question as to whether anything can be depended upon in this uncertain and fluctuant world is becoming one of importance. Here is a Boston professor who swears that the parallels of latitude are not immutably parallel, but wriggle like a fishworm. If people cannot pin their faith in the parallelism of parallel lines, if the parallel is not only deadly but out of plumb, what can they stick to, and on what can they stand and be not moved? Are tha poles polar, and will the equator continue to equate? Stareyed science is grubbing too much, and these unsettling discoveries make old beliefs to shake and sag.—Ex, A faded and discolored beard is untidy and a misfoi tune. It may be prevented by using Buckingham’s Dye

WALKERTON, ST. JOSEPH COUNTY, INDIANA, SATURDAY, JAN. 23, 1892.

LOCAL BRIEFS. Men’s underwear 50 cents per suit at N. Rensberger’s. T. J. Wolfe has a complete stock of trunks and valises. Delinquent subscribers musk pay us or be cut off the list. A child was born recently -without arms near Ligonier. It lived but a short time. The H. J. Heinz Co. set out a fine lunch at the pickle works last Saturday to the farmers of this locality. There are some girls who have got It so bad that they would flirt with a pair of trousers on a clothes-line. Trade in Walkerton. Our business men will treat you well and give you good bargains. See their ads in this paper. Leave your order for your tailor made suits early at T. J. Wolfe’s tailoring establishment, as a big rush is expected for spring trade. Dr. Arlington will drop the work on his new building at present, on account of so much cold weather, and will resume operations in the spring. Noah Rensberger is making reductions in canned goods, sugar, rubber goods, etc. See the prices he quotes in his new ad elsewhere in this paper. The grip had the editor of the Independent cornered up for three days this week, and the paper falls a little short of containing the usual amount of local matter. The country is being flooded -with confidential circulars from eastern cities offering big inducements in “green goods.” The bait don’t seem to attract many suckers. An exchange says a man who gets mad at what the newsumatf says about him should return tmurwy-r-- ir( ,p timns If odorless whisky could only be followed by odorless onions, odorless cheese, odorless politics and odorless divorce cases, the world would feel compensated.—Kansas City Journal. There is a woman in this town who is known as the “counter irritant” from the way she scatters things on the counters and badgers the clerks when she goes shopping.—LaPorte Argus.

Before you come to town to trade look over the Independent and see what merchants invite you to call on them. They ask for your trade and are willing to give you bargains to get it. Watch their advertisements. There are some business men who are always kicking about people going away from home to trade, and will then turn right around and send away for printing and other things that they could get at home. Practice what you preach. Reub Williams said last week, that a man in Jackson, Mich., put an advertisement in the “Want” column of a local paper, for a girl, and the next morning his wife presented him with twins,—both girls. Splendid testimony of the virtue of printers’ ink.—Macy Monitor. Reports of the penny collections taken in the schools lately throughout the state to aid the Indiana educational exhibit at the World's fair indicate the average for the 92 counties will be SSO, or a total of $4,600. The instructions sent out were not fully understood and another will be made in February, when the counties will have sharp competitions for large amounts.—Ex. Dr. Keeley, of Dwight, 111., says: “I would like to suggest a treatment for grippe which I know is nearly specific as well as innocent. It is simply assafetida, given in four grain pills, one pill four times a day. No man need be sick of the grip these days who will take it. For the past two years, with all the patients here subject of course to such epidemic, I have not had one man to go to bed from the disease. I break it up very quickly, and, in fact, cure it. If this treatment was generally known it would save sufferers much expense and wretchedness and many useful and valuable lives.” Delays are dangerous. Take Simmons Liver Regulator in time for dyspepsia, billiousness and all diseases of th< liver.

(Arbuckle and Lion coffee 20 cents at Noah Rensberger's. Don’t worry • . ms your health. More people ma hemselves ill by doing that than b nerally supposed. If you are constant;’ imagining that there is som *hing the matter with you you will do j rself harm. Live as far f you ar ••/heakhy life, and for the rest tt your chance like a man. Thore are plenty of people who suffer a living death by allowing themselves to imagine that they are going to have every illness they read about. —Yankee Blade. Gov. Ira Chase was tendered an ovation at South Bend Monday evening. He stopped at that place to change cars, and a committee from the Logan Club and the members of Co. F met the governo” at the depot and escorted him to the Oliver house where he took supper. A reception was held in the Logan club rooms where speeches were made by the governor and a number of the citizens. After the speaking the usual hand shaking took place. The governor left on the following day at noon for the south over the Vandalia road. WHAT MAKES A TOWN. Grit. Vim. Snap. Push. Energy. Schools. Morality. Harmony. Cordiality. Advertising. Talk about it. Write about it. S^eak -.veil for it. 11 to improve it. . • if” Patronize its merchants. Gpod country tributary. Holiest competition in prices. Make the atmosphere healthy. Faith exhibited by good works. Fire all loafers, croakers and dead beats out of town. Let your object be the welfare, growth and promotion of your town and its people; boom your own town and your own business on every occasion, speak well of the public spirited men and be one yourself—and your town will boom.— Pennsboro Beacon Light.

With a record like Simmons Liver Regulator all should use it for the liver, kidneys and bowels. Fok Sale.—Two good top buggies, one brand new; one fur lap robe and set of single harness. Mns. J. F. Endley. Had been troubled with Liver Complaint; exhibited all the common symptoms, biliousness, headache, poor digestion, furred and coated tongue, bad taste in mouth, etc. Swamp root cured me. J. C. McCullough, Druggist, Lawrenceburg, Ind. ; KO HOUSEHOLD SHOULD BE WITHOUT ■ g ;- Z e । el] | , Restlessness-. 6 A STRICTkv VEOSTABLB E FAULTLESS i-AMILY MEDICINE. p b'Ji I ** * ', AL p $ moje, yn : PHILADELPHIA. £ Price, SHE Dollar aarg ctw J 4'7wX:/< r The majority of the ills of the human %ody arise from a diseased Liver. Simmons Liver Regulator has been the means of restoring more people to health and happiness by giving them a healthy Elver than any other agency on earth. SEE TELIT YOU GET THE GENUINE.

im THAT YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO MISS I Just now is the time of year to close out winter goods, and to do so T. J. Wolfe, Walkerton and North Liberty Clothier and Merchant Tailor, Proposes to Cut the Prices of OV’RCOATS& WINTER GOODS to Cost! Ifyo u want to strike bargains as big as mountains don't miss seeing his line either in Walkerton or North Liberty, He keeps a complete cj BOOTS, SHOES, DATS, Caps, Gents’ Furnishing and RUBBER GOODS, at each of his houses, and will guarantee his prices in these lines so low they cannot be beaten. Call at his stores, learn his prices, and you will see that you can save money by dealing with him. C. L GRANGER & J. H. MILLER; Salesmen at North Liberty. GOLD DOLLARS - FOR PIRETY gKIW THE STEPHENS STORE CO. 500 Mufflers from 25 cts. to $2. 1 poo Handkerchiefs 5 to go cents. 24 (Plush Wraps from 7.50 to S2O. Also an elegant line of Jackets from $2.50 to $6. (Boots and Shoes, Rubbr Goods. Ladies’ and Gents’ Underwear. An elegant line of American Serges ff inches wide, 6 I^4 to 12 cents per yard. An Elegant line of Horse Blankets from 82 to 84.50 a Pair. Shawls from $1.50 to §6. Misses’ and Ladies’ all wool Hose 15 cts, per pair %

NUMBER 27.