Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 14, Number 7, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 11 August 1883 — Page 3

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THE, MAIL

•i.i- SKI

A PAPER

FOR THE

PEOPLE.

The Monkay Barber Tails HonseoM* "Hullo! Yohannes," said the assistan of the German barber near tbe Coopet Institute on Friday, as tbe reporter camt in to get shaved, "I got an idea yon ha. der combination uf aer do-.'rhantle for godoen already. Also, I vos a-scarec aer oit man (talked glean troo yonr beac a hole lasd dime you vos here. He ha) yent home. I ton'd know if he's got leedle someding be yood like to sbend day dalking apowd rait his vife, or if he cboost vanis to gif his chaw a rest nno praeeup for der Saturday rush of dradi yet. "He can dalk choost so steady like rintmil] goes rount, ttml he browide* his own wint pesides. He peats mj Dnesday night girl owitsitc in nnd dot* high braise us Tiiin, und don't you forgid somedings. Dot gall (ills a pig lamp fresh, so soon yat 1 come effery Duesday night, und daiks dill der oil purned avay. 1 haf been sex veeks to •ee her already, und der only vort* more as 'yes' und 'ho' vich I haf yet got a sbance to said is, 'Clem^ntipa, do yoti dink you can finish on der lamp from derhrtHP' "Und dot pfakesher y^bt ayay up pccause she knows it dakcs der gonuent* of dot ball lamp toli^hd der place ybilt she been saying goot nighd. Her olt man's a bluinnier, tind he's got to haf a bardnor to make der bills owid. Dot is der bardickler goot boint apowd Clementina. "Py Cldibaneddy! If it vosn't for me der poss yould got only von gusdimer —dot's a deaf man, vich can'a see his ears owid. He vouldn't durable to anydiug un loss der elufaUid rail rote fell on dop of him. All vot der resd of dei

umlimers come for is on accound I enough to keeb ray mout shut: oxeebting if afresh feller comes in, I dalk him suorie plind to si^fo my own life. "Seddlinga netv goundry in is choost dor samp as if a raatt-should owid uf a

Euddle

alloon drop, alrcttv. If he in a mut sdrikes he vi'll sure come owid dirdv." "ftut suppose he brings his mud puddlo along with himP'' tne reporter suggested.

5

"Now, vot a voolish gwesdion dot vas," said the monkey barber. "You haf been geddimyso long shafed mit der olt man you haFgot unsite down your head, alretty."—A'.//.» York Sun.

A Loadid Clothes-Line.

Lately, somebody has been burglin our eliicken-eoop, and pa loaded an ol musket with rock salt, and said he would till the follow full of salt if he caught him, and while U»ey were talking u,. tJiirs ma heard a rooster squawk, and nhe "nt to the stairway and told pa there was somebody in the iien-hovJse. ra jumped up and told some visitors to follow him, and they would see a man running down the aflev, full of salt, and he rushed out with the gun, and the crowd followed him. Pa Is shorter than the re»t, and he pastted under the first wire clothes-line in the yard all right, and was going for the hen-house on a jump, when his neek caught the second wire clothes-line just as the visitors oanght their necks under the other wire. You know how a wire, hittinga man on the throat, will send him back, head aver appetite. Well, sir, I was looking out of the back window, and I wouldn^ be positive, but I think they all turned double back somersaults, and struck on their ears. Anyway, pa did, ami the pun must have bi-en cocked, or it struck the hammer on a stone, for it went off, atxi it was pointed towards the house. And three of the visitors got salted. I «tmpose when you shoot a man with •alt, it smarts, like when you get corned beef brine on your chapped hands. I'hey all yelled, and pa seemed to have boon knocked silly, some way, for he

Ead

raneed around and seemed to"think he killed them. He swore at tho wire clothes-line, and then I missed pa and neard a splash like when*you throw a oat in the river, and then I thought of the rn. and I went down and wo to«'. pa by the collar and pujlied him nit. Oli, he was awful damp. No sir, it was no duel at all. but a naxidunt, and I didu'thave anything to do with it.

A Lecture on Eoonomy.

A stupid-looking tramp knocked at .»ne of the finest residences in Austin* aiul was received by the lady of the house. "What do you want?" "Please'm give me a dime to buy glass of bread 'souse me. I mean a loaf of beer." "1 haven't got any money." "Haven't got no money? Theh. mad* am. I would suggest thatyou move into a cheaper house you are evidently living beyond your means. Economy is wealth, l-iconotuiite in the matter of clothes and house rent Cut your expenses, ami then, perhaps, some day vou will have a dime to spare—a dime, madam, that may be the means of preventing* hungry and thirsty fellow-mor-tal from committing suicide or it may be a quarter—a coin of the value of ccuts -that will upholster the dsrk cl.nuls on the boriaon of his despairing s«ml with a silver-plated lining, ami fiu his stomach with Bock beer. Good-day, fair lady."—Texas Sifiimg*.

Sir Michael Bass, of England, made world-wide famous thr "Bass'Ale." will doubtless be re .v.i...ered longer for his charities than for his krewera*. In addition to supporting liberally all benevolent works in Derby, he has presented to the town a fine park, public baths, and a frvw library, at a eo«t to himself of $250,000. To tihe town ol Burton he has given two ebn-rhes, wiiii parsonages* scnools and e:.:*rments, valued at more than $350,000, and an institute and c!ub~hoti*« th $20 /00. To Kangemwe he has guaa a euurcfct and aux.i try institutions coating $45,000, and many other places also hare received rich gSfi*fnm hb bounty.

A very wealthy New York girl him adopted a Japanese baby of two year*. She paid $3,090 for him. and his named him James A. Garfield.

Seven Stories of Hoted Women. Two ladies contended for precedence in the court of Charles V. They appealed to the monarch, who, like Solomon. awarded, "Let the eldest go first." Such a dispute was never known afterwards.

One of the principal graces of Sarah, Dncbess of Marlborough, was a prodigious abundance of

fine

hair. One day

at her toilet, to an^er her heroic lora, she cut off her commanding tresses and flung them in his face.

Nollekins. the sculptor, was a paragon of parsimony. in his own bonse candles were never lighted at the commencement of the evening, and whenever he and his wife heard a knock at the door, they would wait until they heard a second rap before they lit tbe candles, lest tbe first should have been a "run-away," and their candles should be wasted.

When the Princess Charlotte of Mcck-lenburg-Strelitz came over to be married to George ID., she was ten days at sea, but kept gay tbe whole yoyage, snnp to her harpsichord, and left the cabin door open. When she first caught sight of St. James1 Palace she turned

The Duchess of Hamilton smiled.

pale. "My dear Duchess," said the Princess, "you may laugh. You have been married twice, but it is no joke to me. .•5 Whilst Frederick Morel, the great scholar and eminent printer, was employed on his edition of "Labanius" one day, be was told that his wife was suddenly tak'ih ill. "I have only two or three sentences to translate, and then I will come and look at her." A second message informed him that she was dying. "I have only two words to write, ahd I will be there as soon as you," replied the philosopher. At length he was told that his wife was dead. "I am very sorry font, indeed," said he, going on with his work, "sjtic was*iSa jpry ho»est woman.'' t,f. **tt

The marriage of Racine was an act of penance—neither love nor interest had any share in the union. His wife was a good sort of woman, but perhaps the most insensible of hor sex, and the most proper person in the world to mortify the passion of literary glory and the momentary exultation or literary vanity. It is scarcely credible, but most certainly true, since her own son relates the fact, that she had never seen acted, nor ever read, nor desired to read, the tragedies which rendered her husband so celebrated throughout Europe. She had only learned some of their titles in conversation.

Maria and Elizabeth Gunning, who appeared at tho court of George III. one at the age of eighteen aud tho other at nineteen—were two portionless girls of surpassing beauty. "They are declared* writes Walpole, "to be the handsomest women alive. They can't walk in the park, or go to Vauxhall, but such crowds follow them that they are generally driven away." One day they went to see Hampton Court. As they were guing into the Beauty Room another company arrived. The housekeener said: "This way, ladies here are the neauties." The Gunniugs flew into passion, and asked her what she meant They went to see the palace, and not to ne shown as a sight themselves. The younger of the fair sisters became tbe ftuchcss of Hamilton the other became Ladv Coventry.

American Women of Letters.' We do not mean to be ungallant, and the ladies will please pardon us but have wo any American women of letters? American men of letters we certainly have—or have had, men worthy to stand by the side of any but the very chief of the men of letters across the sea but where in America can we find

George filiot or a Mrs. Browning? In France alone," once said George Eliot, "if the writings of women were swept away, a serious gap would be znaoe in the national history." We know of but one American woman's writing, which if "swept away," Would make "a serious gap in- tbe national history." That is Mrs. Stowe "Uncle Tom's Cabin." And "Uncle Tom's Cabin" is not literature it was a scenic effect and Mrs. Stowe's later writings have not confirmed her seat in our pantheon.

We havo had our Anne Bradstreet, our Hannah Adams, our Phillis Wheatley. our Mrs. Sigourney, our Margaret Fuller, our Alice and Phcebe Cary, our Fanny Fern. And who were these? Of Margaret Fuller, doubtless we shall hear ana know more. Hers is a looming figure as the past recedes. She is in some sense, though with many differences, of course, the Poe of her sex, a riddle not yet read, a victor not yet crowned. T*wo lives of her are now in preparation her star is rising.

A» for living women, thero are plenty of authors among them—writers of poetry, writers of novels, writers of books for bovs and girls but who of tbem will «ora« forward and claim tbe lurel above her sisters? The woman of letters must have some masculinity in her composition her finer metal mast be streaked with iron ore she must carry the sledgehammer in her band as well as wear the flower at her throat. She must be

Miriam, a Deborah—prophetess as well a& poet a woman who fathoms philosophies as well as fashions who can thunder as well as lighten.

Our American literary women are tender, sweet, persuasive, soothi They write us smooth verses in magaaitMs. They us lullabies by

the cradle.

Holm? Is it a woman? The most meaning voice in the chorus of the hour Is from brn id a mask the most brilliant pen woman of to-day Is toured in temper the moat passionate Is morbid. There &s room on tne stage for a latgs-

Or, that sort oat rf

abe appears. It will doabtieee be from MI unexpected qnarler. She will be murprim.~JAkrwy World.

SSSls

Thcy tell clever stories. I ously, or in a single night. It oftefa Once in a while they burst out with a takes place insidiously, extending over battle-hvmn. or catch the secret of child- days and even weeks. It thus appears hood on the point of their pens, or re-1 that "taking cold" is not by any means coyer the Jewel ol character from the simple result of a lower temperature, mire conventionality. What is Saxe bot depends largely on personal conditkras and habits, affecting especially the

-:J:

'f

TERKE HAUTE SATURDAY EYENI^G MAIL

DOG FOB DOG.

How an Express Messenger "Recovered"' a Lost Pa&age.

Mr. James C. Edward?. *vho is now a wealthy and prosperous b,' -t -r of Thhd street, in this city, savs tL.- *. Cleveland Herald, began his career o. manhood as an express messenger on

OD*J

of the

Illinois railroads running to and from St. Louis. While quite young in the service, he gave evidence of that quick perception And prompt decision which have since, when applied to higher walks of life, earned for him the nigh reputation which he now enjoys, and which Jay Gould may yet live to envy. And. strange to say, as illustrating the humble origin of great events in human as in national affairs, the inspiring cause in the case of Mr. Edwards was a dog. In his capacity as express messenger, Mr. Edwards had been made the custodian of a fine dog. which had been

ned from some point in Illinois to Pao-

la, Kan. At Carrollton this animal, which had been tethered to the ring of the safe in the express car, broke from

his moorings just as the train was about

to start, and clearing the platform with a bound, was soon on his wa across a wheat field. Mr. Edwards pulled the bell cord. The conductor asked him what was the matter. "See that dog running off?" the dog," said the conductor "we can't stop a train for a dog." So on went the trajn, plunging ahead at the rate of thirty miles an hour, and at that speed nearing the point at which Mr. Edwards must account for the dog intrusted to his charge. Visions of an enraged superintendent and a grand bounce rose youthful messenger, 'when, suddenly glancing at the way bill atid reading:

Si "One Dog—Paola, J£an."

?J

a bright idea struck him. *It was not a pointer dog, a setter dbg, a Newfoundland doji, out simply a dog. No descriptive list accompanied the canicular consignment The clouds which had lowered upon tbe brow of Edwards rolled away as if blown by a magic wind. "I know what to do," said he to the conductor, to whom he had' previously related his dilemma. "How soon will we be in East St Louis?" "Due there in nine minutesand a half," said the conductor. At the end of the period named the train rolled up to the railway depot There was a head sticking out of the express oar it belonged to young Mr. Edwards. "Look here," said he to an Irish laborer who was standing on the platform, "got any dogs hereP" "Yes, lots of 'em running round there's half a dozen in sight" "Catch one of them and give it to me, and I'll give you half a dollar." Done almost as soon as said. The Irishman handed in a dog and the messenger handed out half a dollar. With the remnant of the rope which the preceding animal had broken, Mr. Edwards tied the newly acquired dog to the express safe and duly tagged him— .?HFEY ''One Dog—-Paola, Kan.S^|Y„|:"

Arriving at tbe express office In this city, Mr. Edwards was able to check off all the property in his possession according to the wav-bill. The East St Louis dog was dufv forwarded to Kansas, but whether there was any protest against the exchange made on the road Mr. Edwards never ascertained. He still asserts that while the 60-cent dog was not as good looking as the original he was good enough to save his situation as an express messenger.

Ohills, their Catnes and Oonseqaanoes. Catarrhs should receive careful consideration, instead of the neglect which they generally meet with until they have fastened on the part affected so much as to excite the attention, and perhaps alarm of the sufferer. Here, however, we propose to say a few words about the causes of chills. A person in good health, with fair play, easily resists cold. But when the health flags a little, and liberties are taken with the stomach or the nervous system, a chill is easily taken, and according to the weak 8pot of the individual, assumes the form of a cold, or pneumonia, or, it may be, jaundice. Of all causes of •'cold," probably fatigue is one of the most efficient. A jaded man coming home at night from along day's work, a growing youth losing two hours' sleep over evening parties two or three times a week, or a young lady heavily "doing the season," young children at this festive season overfed and with a short allowance of sleep, are common instances of victims of "cold." Luxury is favorable to chill taking very hot rooms, soft chairs, feather oeds, creates a sensitiveness that leads to catarrhs. It is not, after all, the "cold," that is so much to be feared as the antecedent conditions that give the attack a chance of doiiuf barm. Some of the worst "colds happen to those who do not leave their house or even their bed, and those who are most invulnerable are often those who are most exposed to the changes of temperature, and who, by good sleep, cold bathing, and regular habits preserve the tone of their nervous system and circulation. Probably many chills are contracted at night or at tbe fag end of tbe day, when tired people get the equilibrium of their circulation disturbed by either overheated sitting rooms or under heated bed rooms and beds. This is especially the case with elderly people. In such cases the mischief is not alwats done inst-sntaw-

and muscular

body.—LanceL

handed America* woman of letters, death struggle" of htx fovorite Vaasar and VTeUeaiey, do jtm hear? »*Poor,charmlni jning Fobs." •aJoHows: ^*2s of good thing not to *oe it dyed, full of lov leening it*

Na*ar»ths? For her \n

my

are we to look toward the pmries a»d anybody In Us horrid tortur but nuathe hills ol the Far West? Whenever 10 tux} foock earnestly

A Thrilling Experiesos.

Two young Englishmen sailed together on board aCunard steamer from Liverpool for New York a short tame ago. They had never met before, but they happened to come together in the first evening on board, ana finding that they had a great deal in common, soon became something more than mere acquaintances. It was a rough passage, and they were seldom able to get on deck, so they spent most of their time playing ecarte. It was between the deals of one of their games, and the one who was sitting on the bunk (whom we will call Mr. A.) was shuffling the cards, when both became aware that a third person was standing at the cabin door looking at them. i»!.* "Good God, Jack!" exclaimed Mr. B. jumping up from his couch, "how on earth did you get here?"

The figure at the door said nothing, but quietly turned around and walked away again. The boat was rolling bad-

-, «,• !n 'sbip- ly. and when B. had done tumbling oyer

and had ttade

£fs way

portmanteau and had made bis way to the door some few seconds had elapsed. A. was naturally somewhat astonand way his friend had treated so he threw the cards on the bed, and, hanging on to the door, scrambled out after bim. When he £ot into the passage he saw B. standing sdfae ten yards off Tooking up and down in a bewildered kind of way, and nobody else in sight I "Who was it?" asked A., as the other came slowly back to him after questioning the steward. "I have not seen him on board before." Nl "He was toy brother, and he is not on board," was the startling answer. "I

Uhed at the

interruption

fche his frfend had

tjea^Jit,

it

srintenoeni [eft ^im in Liverpool, and I jyiow he before have come away." ..4^ "Nonsense, my dear fellow it must have been some one of the passengers.

I certainly don't believe it was your brother. He was as utterly unlike you as one man can be unlike another, tie was tall and vou are short, he was fair and you are dark, he was stout and you are sliip, and your faces are completelydifferent."

"Yes, I know. I call him my brother, but he is really my half-brother. His name is C., and we are totally unlike each other. But that man was my halfbrother, Jack C., as sure as I am standing here, or—his ghost." *,v*

Well, there was no more ecarte that afternoon none of the officers or passengers had seen anyone answering to the description of the supposed C., and be never appeared again until they reached New York.

When they landed, B. found a cable message telling him that his half-brother was dead.

Now, so far, this incident was not different from ascoro of others which have been reported and published at various times and, beyond the fact that the appurition was seen clearly by two persona, It supplies no further evidence of the existance or appearance of ghosts or "doubles" than has been adduced over and over again. But there was a sequel to this which lends a ghastly circumitantiallty to the whole affair, and makes it very hard to laugh the matter off ^s a mere optical illusion.

A. lost sight of B. entirely, a few days after arriving in America. While the former went West at once, the latter stayed in New York three or four days and then recrossed to England. Two years had passed before A. went back again, and ho had pretty well given up puzzling over the mystery, when one day as he was walking along Piccadilly he saw the man who had appeared in the state-room that day coming to meet bim. -*3 "Pardon me, sir," he began, "is not your name C. "Yes," was the answer, "my name is C., but I must confess you have the advantage

over

me."

"I dare say. I only saw you once before, and that was on board tbe steamship Papua in mid Atlantic." "Good heavens! Then your name is A., and you were with my half-brother, Charlie B., whuur|ie saw Jack. No, that was not 1—that was my brother. We were exactly alike, and were continually being taken for one another. Charlie is utterly different—but then Jack and I took after our fathers. I wish you would turn in here," he said pointing to a club bouse dose at band, "and tell me all about tbe day. You know, of course, that Jack died that very afternoon?"

Ob, yes, A knew.it well enough but the horrible difficulty was-this: He had never seen Charlie B. until he met him on board ship, and had never seen either the brothers C. at all. The only knowledge which he had of their features, or could have, was from that one short glimpse on «board ship. Whom had he seen, then? Scarcely another ierson altogether, when tbe rememrance of his features enabled him to recognise bis brother. If it was an optical illusion it was a very wonderful one that could so picture a face which he had never seen before if it was not an optical illusion, what was it?—New York Tribune. uV,"

t*"-'

energy of the

Lady Stafford, w£

framed, strong-limbed, bright-wed, I Ugfat in the higher ranks of Engl .I0**' anstocricy 100 years ago. wrote of

^°!fTSa*narrow

a IL

A young lady had escape at afire in New York a few nights since. About half of her back bairwas burned. Fortunately she war not in the building at the ti.ne, having P«t on her other hah* and left the bouse only half an hour before the fire broke out.— Norristown Herald.

A lady who has been bitten by a rat while staying in an Atlanta, Ga., hotel, has brought suit for #10,000 damages. If she wins the suit there will be a movement all along the line this season, fot If rat bites are worth $10,000 apiece, mosquito bites ought to be worth enough to cancel tbe summer hotel bills.

MAJCT

a sh

bosom, never offered to snap

timea you want to keep meat

or flub for never*! day*. Lay It in a solution of Rex Magna* over nfebt and you ma keep It frr week*. Too «a al*o keep milk a week or more bv stirring in a little of tbe "tfnow Fla*e" braod. /-.-^w

Me»U Caaily r««c1b Cars. Warranted to Ckreor mfo«yrefonled. Coofta, Cnlda, Hnatseneaa. Thrmt and Lnc|C tmnblea. (alan pwd (nrdrfldrm.) Roes Oandy Ooogb

upon me and Soe. wboe erred lor tfars bealinc prripertiea of pore white Roek days as if it had been a cililde or kn* Candy with Kxtracta of Roots and fatad." Herba. Only eheapsellotiy. Fnrs^lebyOnllekAOo!

l»od I 1 Cure oontains tbe

TIT

:«ii§

(Cbaddwedyhr* kut wtek.)

How Watch Cases are Made.

This process of manufacture was invented by James Boss, who started in business in 1854, and the methods and tools used in making these watch cases are covered by patents. Tkit it the only watch case made under tkit process. For many years the introduction of these goods was slow, owing to popular prejudice against ''plated'' goods, but gradually the public learned that the Jamet Boat Gold Watch

COM

was not a

cheap gold-vatked or eUctro-pkUed article, but was made of gctmine gold plates of tUmdard quality and {&C£M«S. Conscientious adherence to the determination to make the best watch case ever put on the market, and the adoption of every improvement suggested, has made the James Boss1 Gold Watch Owe the

STANDARD.

In this watch case the parts most subject to wear—the bow, crown, hinges, thumb-caichet, etc., are made of

SOLID GOLD.

Sw4 nit itamp to XcycteM WM C«M TmrUrU*. ffclUtelpfcia, r*~, for (UutrkUd Puapklrltkawtaic k«w *—T- B«k' u4 K*rmUM WkUfe Cm* ar* aiafe.

14,688

Bozessold in

t.:

(2b be continued.)

1

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Thia Powder contains no Arsenic, "Lime or W taite Lead

Not being poisonous Jit may be used by the moat delicate lady without fear. It will not roughen the skin, aud will remove Freoklesand .Tan, a v1 *ilay )rri-'^p-tatlon. A11 who are obliged i» 1 cosmetic, reaotumend Mary Stuart

Pace Power us the

most harmless. A distinguished specinilston skin diseases saytc "If iftdies lausl use cosmetic*. I recomend MK'V tMuart Faoc Powder 08 tlie simplest una tnost Imnc Icss.'^ Flesh or White. Prto® .15 cents per nox. Agent for 1 erre Haute, lud., t» 4m

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A. Ric&aoii* Itfical C«., Proprteten ST. JOSEPH, MO.

Address, P. 8. WE8TFALL, .4' a*M Terre Haute, Ind.

*ores all ilirfli*» of the MOWWIL IJver, BnWfh, Mldueyia. hkln and Blood. Million* «*«tlfy In ll» effifary In brallag the above aa»r«* dlftraws, and pronouncr it to IN* the

B**l KIJIIDV KilOHlV TO HAM.

BIS

'v

*t

HOME JOURNAL

ENTERTAINING, INSTRUCTIVE AND ... NEWSY.

BRIGHT, CLEAN AND PU*IE.

THE FOURTEENTH YEAR

The

Mall

has a record of sneccm aeld an

attained by a Western weekly puper. Twelve yean of increasing popularity proves It* worth. Encouraged by tlie extraordinary snooofls which has attended its publication the publisher has perfected arrangements by which for the corning yeat The Mall will be more than ever welcome In tbe home circle. In this day of trashy and impure Literature It should be a pleasure to all good people to help In extending the elrcnlatiou of snch a paper as the SATURDAY EVENING MAIL

will, Invari­

ably, be discontinued at oxpiratloh of time, Addrei* P. (*. WRITPAL1., Publisher Saturday Evening Mail,

TERRE HAUTE, IND.

J*

gu itf ESS MEN

r|^HESATURDA

E

EVENING MAIL

ULBS

MILLIONS OF THEM

Fw FLORISTS lid AMATEURS.

'Detcb

SEAUTIFUi CatategM FREE I

Gnaranteed to core Dyspepsia

TKADfc MARK, IS"AGENTS WANTED JE\ tAWsfsry.'n Wssi Xcw Tsrk C*»«jr. »ragsl»ts aell It. ret

%rlnc.

Dr. C3ark Johnswn: I bad a sever* Oold and a short trial of jroor cetebrated!I«4Im A]RRSI|»

Bulbs, a

Bulbs, Fraich Bulbs, American Bulbs. Also Pisats for Orsenbousss aad Window Gardens,

HIRAM SIBLEY

'"CLARK JOHNSON'S

Indian Blood Syrup

CO.

Tlnifisalw, M.T.aChlosto,ia.

Sta^Isid., March fi, MM.

J.HALL.

PEDIGREE

SEEDS!

ft MAIL BRINC8 118 TO YOUR DOOR I