Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 12, Number 49, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 3 June 1882 — Page 2

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TUB MAIL

A PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE.

TERRE HAUTE, JUNE 3, 1882

THE CHILDREN WE KEEP.

BY MRS. E. V. WILSON.

The children kept coming one by one, the girls

Till the lx»ys were Ave and the girls were

three,

And the big brown house wasalivewith fan, From the bailment floor to the old root tree. Like garden flowers Lbe little ones grew.

Nurtured and trained with tenderest care •Warmed t» love'w Kunnhlne, bathed in dew, They blossomed into beauty rare.

But one of the boys grew weary one day, And leaning

UIM

breast,

bead on hi* mother's

He said, "I am tired and cannot play Let me Hit while on your knee and rest." She cradled him close to her fond embrace,

Hlie htubed him to steep with her sweetest Mng, And rapturous love still lighted hlx face "When hi« *pirt iiad joined the heavenly throng. Then the eldest girl, with her thoughtful eyes,

Who xtocxi where the "brook and the river meet,''Btole softly nway into Paradise

ErC'the river" hud reachod her slender feet While the father's eyes on the graves were bent,

The mother looked upward beyond the skies "our treu*urc«," she whispered, "were only lent

Our darlings were angers in earth's disguise.

'•ie years flew by and the children began With longing to think of the wor.d outside And a# each in turn became a man,

The boys proudly went from the father's side. The girls were women so gentle and fair,

Thrtt lovers were speKl to woo and to win And,with orange bloom* In theirbraided hair Their old hornet they left, new homes to begirt.

So, one by one the children have gone— The boys were live, and the girls were three And the big urown house is gloomy and lone,

With but two old folks for 'ts company, They talk to each other about the past, As they sit together at eventide, And say, "All tne children we keep at last

Are the boy and girl who in childhood died."

DORA'S TRIAL.

Ella W. Thompson in Llppincott's Magazine. "1 do wish," snid Mrs. Prudence Hall, holding her darning-needle in mid-air for a moment over the coarse blue sock she was mending, "I do wish you could see your way clear to marrying Seth Hallett. He wants you the very worst kind, and ho would be such a good provider." "Hut I don't like him well enough, Prudy and 1 want something besides meat and drink, and two calico dresses a year."

Mrs. Prudence llall had sprained her ankle, and was forced, sorely against her will, to sit day after day in an upper chamber, with a terrible consciousness that everything about the farm was relapsing iiito chaos and old night for want of her oversight. Her pretty sister Dora had come to stay with her but she "was only a child, you know." "There are two kinds of love in this world," said Mrs. Hall, after a pause, in which shuhad boon taking counsel with herself whether Dora was old enough to 1)0 talked to on such matters at all. and it flashed upon her that "the child" was nearly twenty years old, "Perhaps you like fcieth well enough to marry him, only you don't know it." "Tell me about tho two kinds of love," said Dora, innocently. "I thoughtlovo was lovo the world over." •'I have never known but one kind, I think, Dora. When I married David Hall, he was the most well-to-do young man in these parts, and we uever had a quarrel while he lived, lie was a good, practical sort of man, and never asked me to do anything unreasonable."

5

••What if he had?" asked Dora. '•Well, I guess I should have argued him out of it. J»ut there is a kind of love that will draw women through live and water. It makes them throw themselves away on poor shiftless men that will novel providu for them nor their children, and lliey know it as well as anybody else does. It is the greatest wonder" to me why such a useless feeling should ever have been created."

Dora had lcnt low over her work to hide her roguish smiles at hor sister'sdlscotirse but at this point she ti.xed her deep gray eyes on Prudence, not smiling but simply earnest. "Sueh iove brings happiness somotimes, I suppose," said Dora.' "Next to never,'' said Prudenee, with ureal decision. "Wo ain't made to bo happy, and anyt iiing that's too good illways leaves a "bad taMe in tho mouth. Comfort Is a bird in the hand, and you don't gain anything by letting it fly on the chance of "happiness." "Did you ever know anyone about here. Prudence, that threw herself away foi- I"ve? It- Mem# to me they won look-at a man unless he has a house and larni all ready for them." "That's where they're right," said Prudenee. "You are rather given to high living notions, and it's time yon found out that bread don't grow ready buttered. Yes. 1 did know one girl who WHS pretty and smart, and had no end of chances to get married (T think mv David courted her a spell, but he never would own it), and she would have that shirtless critter, Joe Raymond, who never could make one hand wash the other. Even when she was allying she pretended that.she had boen happy,and wouldn have done uo other way if she had it t"o do over again."

WHS she Joe's mother?" H^ked Dora, -julekly. Ye*, to be sure and when she died we look him to briug up and work on the farm, lie's more than {mid his way, but heN a rolling stdhe Hke his fatheV, ami won't never wine to anything. 1 foiyot lo tell you—he's going to-mor-row," "Going trt-mftrrow?" cried Doro, with agirat start. "I thought'histime wasn't out for another month."

Well, it ain't rightly out till he's twVnt v-one, but he was in such a hurry to boofflhat 1 gave hirti the last month.

Th#n silence fell upon them. Tbtwe two women had the same father and mother, though a sxre of years lay l*?tween them. Prrtdenee bad been born in the early married life of her parents, when they were struggling with a stony Now England frrtu, and there was work foreven baby hands. The lines of duty and patience were deep-graved in hor rugged face, which yet beamed with a kindly common sense. But Dora had come to her mother lute in life, as an old tree sometime^ blossoms into loveliness after everyone has forgotten it. Her little feet bail walked in easy paths, and Prudetk* yearnei over her Hkv a mother.

It might have been the red dress and the firelight that brought such a vivid flush to Dora's cheek as she listened and turned away. She ran lightly down stairs and opened the door of the great farm kitchen.

A young man sat by the dull fire, looking into it as one does into the eyes of an enemy before the light—an overgrown fanner-boy in hofae-made clothes, with nothing about him to fall in love with, least of all for the brilliant little figure that stood waiting for him to look up. He was too intent on his own thoughts to notice her, till she went swiftly across the room, and, taking his head between her soft hands, turned his face up to hers. "Joe, bad boy, were you going away without letting me know?"

The hard lines of his face softened and brightened under bpr gaze till one would not have known him for the tome man. "I.thought I should not see you to night," he said. "You know better you know I wcfuld have crept through tne keyhole for one last little minute with you." "How long will you wait for me, Dora? "Till you come back." "If it weie seven years?—think bow longit would be." "If you loved me as you make me believe," said Dora, "you would not go away at all, but work here until you could build a little bouse, and then we would rough it together." "No, little Dora, that is not my kind of love my mother tried that, aad she lived a slave's life." "Dora, Dora!" called Prudenee from upstairs, "what on earth are you doing down there?" "J must go now I must, truly," said Dora, as she felt herself locked in arms that would not give way. "If I live without you for seven years I shall be a homely old maid, and you will not thank me for waiting for you."

He put her away then and looked at her curiously, as if he had never thought of her prettiness before. "Do you know what your name means?'"' he asked, earnestly. "I saw it in the paper that Theodora means 'Gift of God,' and you have been just that to me. If I had n6ver seen you, I should never have had a notion about a day's work or a night's sleep. I will write whonever I have any luck, and come home on New Year's eve, when I do come, and if you wear this red dress I shall know that you have waited for me." "I think I shall live to wear it when you eome home, if it is seven times seven years, Joe, for women are very hard to kill," said Dora, slowly disappearing from the kitchen. "What have you been doing all this time?" said Prudence, severely^ "I was only giving Jee some good advice." "Well, I hope he'll profit by it." "So do I," said Dora, heartily. 'Tis as easy to say seven years as one and wo read of Jacob's seven years' setvice for Rachael, whichl seemed but as one day for the love that he bore her. Kacbael's feelings are not thought worthy to be mentioned in holy writ, but if her love was like Dora's every day seemed like seven years. And here, in a nut-shell, lies the difference between a man's love ajnd a woman's.

Jacob had"the sheep to mind, and he did mind them uncommonly well. Joe went to seek his fortune in new scenes and only thought of Dora when he had nothing else to do. The poet thought he had set ,a hard task to men when he said:

Ijearu to labor and to wait

but it is iiomeasurably harder to be idle ami to wait. 'llll her lovfcr went away Dora had ne%'er cared to ask herself whether she were a child or a woman. Sunshine bad been plenty with her, and she had eagerly sugared and gilded tho plain things tliat farm life a Horded her.

Before tho first year came to an end she felt that she'd soon arrive at a patriarchal age if shedul not do somethiagto kill the time which died so hard oft hands. "Teach school! I guess not," said her father when she broached her plan to him. You nin stafvin' yet, and if you want some new furbelows, jnst say so, and not come at it slantin' ways like that." "I don't want anything, father, but there is so little to do at home." "Nonsense! In rny time gals was always full of business. Can't you make sheets and pillow-eases, and get ready to be married Who 'knows but sorhebody'll ask ye one of these days? Waal, waal, folks can't always have their'd ratiiera in this world. I ain't willin' and that's the end on't."

But this was not the end on't, and Dora easily' obtained a school. She developed a governing talent which charmed the committeemen, and the oonffenial labor in the company of little children took her out of herself and in fused new life into her hope deferred.

Every week she walked to the postoffice. three miles away, to ask for a letter, going in with a bright flush on either cljeek and coming ot eyed after the stab of disappointment. I wonder that people in the country are so anxious to be postmasters if "they only knew it, they are acters in more tragedies than anv member af theatrical stock company. Much sealed happiness passes Hinouuh their btuidfr, but tbey have to refuse many a "Mariana in the Moated Grange"—weary women who reach a hand out of their dull lives fora letter and dfaw it back empty,

It was for into the second year before Joe first totter 'came. It was surely a faiv iful and foolish thing for a schoolmistress to do, bnt Dora carried it to her own little room and put on the red dress before she read Joe letter.

Joe was working tn the mines of Col orado. His luck bad not yet come, in nuggets at least, but hard work and sober livlhg were sloHrly giving him the advantage over the other miners. He was never so well, and he loyed her better than all the world.

Dora lived on this Tetter for many weeks,and she set "olorado" for a copy ao often to her scholars that they will write that word better than aqy other to their dying day.

I setters came bftener as years drew on sometime* Joe was -up in the world, sometimes down once. his carefully hoardedgull was stolen from him and he had to begln ill bver a^alti but this was nothing \f a JnWpf Ultima, In which a friend wrote to Dora as soon as Joe

She sat now by the open lire, bending) wa« out of danger. Then Dora envied her graceful head over some delicate the doves their wings. work that Prudenee would never have New Year's day was -the hardest of all found time for: her md dress and the! to bear. She could not help a strong flickering firelight made bera picture too pressure of excitement when she pot on

lovclv f'*r that dull room. the mi dr*»s*, which grew more old fa*h-

-m

"as go

"Prudence," she said suddenly, this is Joe's last night, I think I'll down and s*y good-bye to him." "You might call him up here."!*5 "No I think I will go myself." "I believe I haven't-ever told you, Dora, how much you pleased me by giving up that childish way of going on with him that you used to have. It did very well for you to be fond of each other when you-were little, but of course it is «ut of the question now."

TERKE^HAUTE SATURDAY EVENING MAIL.

ioned, and watched the sun go down on the road which Joe must travel wl «fc he should come home. The next morning she fitted her shoulders sadly to the burden of another year.

One young farmer after another found his way to the old farm house on Sunday evenings, and Dora pushed them down an inclined plane of discouragement so-gently that they scarcely knew whether tbey meant to court her or not. It was not the least of her to meet the entreaties of her mother and the rough arguments of her father, when one or two more persistent suitors would take nothing less than "no" for their answer.

Dora could give uo reason for repeated refusals to marry, only she loved no one well enough—a reason which should be all sufficient if parents remained immortally young, but it loses weight after sixty.

As the seventh year drew to a close, Dora's heart beat light within her. Joe bad mentioned seven years, as if he meant to come home then, at auy rate. She wore out the first day of the '-glad New Year" with busy cares till late in the afternoon, when an old man, spent w.ith much walking, stopped to rest himself in the farm-house kitchen. Prudence bestirred herself to give him a hearty luncheon, aad when he was warmed and fed he began to talk of bis travels. He had been seeking* his fortune all over the West, and never finding it, had come badk to die at home. He mentioned Colorado and Denver, and when Dora found herself alone with him for a moment she said: "Did you ever see Joseph Raymond in Denver?" "Joe Raymond? Oh, yes! knew him well lived with him nigh on to a month. His wife was a real good cook couldn't be b€bt in them parts.?' "You sf^be was married?" "To be awe a right smart feller, and mighty fond of his wife. Women are scarce out there."

Prudence came in, and the old man went on his way, all unconscious of the great stone he had cast into tl^ still waves of Dora's heart. '.'What's the matter?" said Prudence, "you're as white as a sheet."

Dora's only answer was to staift out of thehouseand run, as forlifefdwn the frozen orchard path, by whicfaraMte could gain upon and overtake this terrible old man. She might have said, with the "holy Herbert

My tlio'ts are all a case of knives, Wounding niy heart With scattered smartonly misery must have time to crystal lize into a "memory before it takes the form of poetry. She stood before the old man at the turning, bareheaded and breathless. "How did the Joe Raymond look that you lived with?" gasped Dora. "I never said 'Joe Raymond,' said the old man, peevishly "I said Jim Joe, who—" but Dora was off again before he could finish the sentence.

She ran back through the orchard, giving thanks with all her heart that she bad not suffered herself to be persuaded of Joe's faithlessness on one hearing. Her feeling of grateful awe, as if she had escaped from sudden death, kept her from mourning much over the* passing away of the seveuth anniversary of Joe's departure, with no sigh of his return.

His letters had wholly ceased, and there was nothing left for D^ra but to possess her soul with patience. When another New Year dawned upon her, she put on the old red dress more from habit than any gloam of hope in her heart, and did not care to look in the glass. In the twilight she walked slowiy down the orchard path, and leaned on the gate that opened in(o the road.

Suddenly a man sprang out from behind the wall. "Theodora, my 'gift of God he said, and Dora, though she recognized no mark of the lover who had left her eight years before, felt that no other knew that pass-word, and suffered herself to rest silently in his arms, in the ineffable content that comes after long waiting

When Joe and Dora went into the house, and she looked at him by candlelight, hor heart almost misgave hei his luxuriant beard and the manly assurance of his manners were not at all like her Joe of beloved memory, and a terrible barrier seemed to rise up between them, while Prudence remained in the room, with her company manners,which sat more awkwardly upon her than her Sunday gown.

When Dora tiptoed softly by her sister's door, at a very late hour that night, Prudence was lying aw«ke for her. "boij.'t tell me," she said that you've been waiting for that Joe Raymond all this time!" "I won't tell you if you don't want to hear it," said Dora.

Do you know whether he came home any beiter off than when he went away?" "I really haven't thought to ask him." said Dora* carelessly. Prudenee groaned and turned hor face to the wall.

Joe waited only till the next day to tell Mrs. Hall the story of bis success, which looked very moderate in histrav eled eyes, but it seemed a noble fortune to her homely idea. "I nevor thought before," said Dora's father at the wedding, "that a woman could keep a secret, and I guess it ain't more common than snow in dog days." "How long would you have waited for me?" whispered Joe In Dora's ear, "Forever," said Dora, solemnly. "And Mrs. Prudence Hall, she overheard the word, thanked her stars that Dora's foolish notions bad not wrecked her at last on a poverty-striken marriage.

A HASTY THO UOR RIAGE. A rather singular marriage occurred in this village a short time ago, [says the Middletown (N. Y.) Argus], and one, too, whteh promises to be a happy one, notwithstanding the fact that it was not even dreamed of by the parties interested an hour before it occurred. A young gentleman met avoungladvof "his acquaintance, who is' employed in one of the hot strops, ou the street one day, and in the course of conversation, the young lady sftated that everything had* gone wro'ng1 with her at the shop that day, and that she had the* "blues terribly: in factabe was about to give up the fight far existence. The young man at once responded, telling her that she could triumph over all her difik-ul-

ties, by marrying him, and this meeting her views, the young couple started for the nearest minister and were married. They are now keeping bouse and living as happily baa though they had spent years in love-making, and trying to find oat whether they were adaptra to each other.

Mr. M. A. WHrtTELBY, Toledo, Ohio, writes: "After trying all advertised medicines for nervous weakness and early decay, .1 gave up in despair, and resigned rhyserf to the seeming Inevitable—a premature grave. Happening to hear. a. druggist recomnjeod Brown's Iron Bitter's for dizziness, I bought myself a bottle. Iam most agreeably surprised to find myself restored to perfect health, strength" and manhood. I feel sure the cure is permanent,yet in future I intend to observe more carefully the laws of health."*

A BASHFUL MAN.

THE

GREAT SENSATION HE PRODUCED IN A BRIBAL CHAMBER.

Louisville Commercial.

Senator Sebastian, of Arkansas, was a native of Hickman county, Tennessee. On one occasion a member of Congress was lamenting his bashfulness and awkwardness. "Why," said the Senator from Rackensack, "you don't know what bashfulness is. Let me tell you a story, and when I get through *1 will stand the bob if you don't agree that you never knew anything about bashfulness and its baneful effects. I was the most bashful boy west of the Alleghenies. I wouldn't look at a girl, much less speak to a maiden but for all that I fell desperately in love with a sweet, beautiful neighbor girl. It was a desirable match on Doth sides, and the old folks saw the drift, and fixed it up. I thought I should die just thinking of it. I was a gawky, awkward country lout, about nineteen years old. She was an intelligent, refined, and fairly well educated girl, in a country and at a time when the girls had superior advantages, and were therefore superior in culture to the boys. I fixed the day as far as I could have it put off I lay awake in a cold perspiration as the time drew near, and shivered with agony as I thought of the terrible ordeal. "Th6 dreadful day came. I went through with the programme somehow, in a dazed, confused, mechanical sort of way, like an automaton booby, through a supper where 1 could eat nothing, and through such games as "possum pie," "sister Phoebe, and all that sort of thing. The guest^departed oue by one, and my hair began to stand on end. Beyond the terrible curtain of Isis lay the terrible unknown. My blood grew cold and boiled by turns. 1 was in a fever and then an ague pale and flushed by turns. I felt like fleeing to the woods and spending the night in the barn, leaving for the Weet never to return. I was deeply devoted to Sallie. I loved her harder than a mule can kick but that dreadful ordeal I could not, I dared not stand. Finally, the last guest was gone, the bride retired, the family gone to bed, and I was left alone—horror of horrors—alono with the old man. 'John,' said he, 'you can take that candle: you will find your room just over this. Good-night, "John, and may the Lord have mercy on your soul and with a mischievous twinkle of his fine grav eye the old man left the room. 1 mentally said'Amen' to his 'Heaven help you,' and, when I heard him close a distant door, staggered to my feet and seized the farthing dip with a nervous clutch. I stood for some minutes contemplating my terrible fate, and the inevitable and speedy doom about to overwhelm me. I knew it could not bo avoided, and yet I hesitated to meet my fate like a man. I stood so long that three love-letters had grown onthejwick of the tallow dip, and a winding sheot was decorating the side of the brass.eandlestick.

A happy thought struck me. I hastily climbed the stair, marked the position of the landing and the door of the bridal chamber. I would have died before I would have disrobed in that holy chamber, where awaited me a trembiingand beautiful girl, a blushing maiden, 'clothed upon' with her own beauty and modesty, and her snowy robedenuil. I would make the usual preparations without, blow out the light, open tho door, and friendly night would shield my shrinking modesty and bashfuluess, and grateful dairkness at least mitigate the horror of the situation. It was soon done. Preparations for retiring were few and nmple in their character in Hickman, altogether, consisting of disrobing, and, owing to scarcity of cloth, in those days man was somewhere near the Adamie state when he was prepared to woo sweet sleep. The dreadful hour bad come. I was ready. I blew out "the light, grasped the door-knob with a deathly grip and a nervous.clutch. One moment, and it would be over. One moment, and it wasn't over by a d—n sight. I leaped within, and there, around a glowing hickory fire, with candles brightly burning on the mantle and bureau, was tho blushing bride, surrounded by the six lovely bridesmaids.

A SAD FACT.

There is no cure for consumption, and yet consumption of lungs, liver or kidneys may be checked, and the decay arrested by using Dr. Guvsott's Yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla. It strengthens every organ of life, and restores all lost or impaired organic functions to their normal condition. A single bottle wi 11 convince you of its great merit.

GAMBLTNG~ TR.TCK&'.

ANEW DEVICE INTRODUCED INTO THE NOBLE GAME OF POKEK.

One 6f the newest tools is the pokerring, an ingenious contrivance for marking the cards while playing, in a systematic manner, so that in half an hour one can tell each card as well by the back ks by the face. Although It is not generally known, it is now in use by a few of the oldest and best profes sional players in the country. It is no secret that fn the gaming houses marked back piaytoff cards are used. The pat tern on the back seems innooentenough until held at a certain angle under the light, and then the difference "between cards may be seen. The greenhorn cannot tell the pack from faireardsin common use, but the professional qan tell the cards that His opponent olds. "There are loaded dice, which are made the exact Imitation of ordinary dice. Then there is the spv, a reflector about the size of a half dollar, which, it is said, can be used with perfect safety either on the table or on the knee. As for "strippers,"another device in cards, a gambler says: "The benefit of these cards can be estimated only in one way, and that is by the amount of money yoirr opponents have got, for yon are certain to get it, whetner it is $10, or $10,000 the heavier the stakes the sooner you break him, and he never knows what hurt him. 'The bug' Is a device for withdrawing from the pack a number of cards from wbtrrb the piayer can make up a hand to suit."

MK. CLEMENS KXOWLTOX,

of Fid-

month, Kv., writes "I was quite an io valid, afflicted with a complication of diseases that showed a tendency to weaken and exhaust my brain and nervous system. I found myself quickly cured by using a bottle of Dr. Gaysott Yellow'Dock and Saraaparilia. 'It has given perfect tone and real strength to every part of my body, and my blood is free from all impurity.",*

SOUTHERN ANTIDOTE FOR MALARIA. it should Tie generally known that Simmons Liver Regulator, is relied upon to secaro to the people immunity from all malaria disorders. That ibis medicine does what is claimed for it is proved by its popularity, and any one who has lived in the South three years has no doubt seen its curate effects and tbe protection it gives against the return of this weakeuing and dangerous malady.

UHEALTH HINTS.

Pi'omD'. Jim83C.Jackiou's Lectures. Ninety sick persons out of a hnndred would iu consequence of right eating, get well.

Eat stimulating food, work hard, and wear out early. Eat nutritious food, work hard, and live to old age.

Stimulating substances, such as beefsteak, coffee, liquor, drugs, Ac, are objectionable for the reason that to the degree that they stimulate, do they excite the heart's action, thereby envolving strength from nerve centers always drained. They make one feel strong for a time, by an increased expression of vital force, from which follows corresponding weakness and decreased expression of vitality.

Food which is nutritious and not stimulating is the best for habitual use. As a people we eat one-third too much food. We should be brighter and more inteligent if we ate less.

Regulate the diet of a person, and the moral perception thereby takes on the power to act righteously."

Suppers are a cunning device of tho devil. The brain and stomach needs sleep at the same time.

The man is more than animal. He has a psychological organization which ninkes him responsible. Where the physician has physical unsoundness to deal with, it is worth everything to have tho soul or consciousness to sleep.

When a person is taken sick, first find what ails him then set to work equalize the circulation. In a fever, seek to keep the body always at a normal temperature, determining this by the pulse and thermometer. Set the excretories to work, and the poison passes out.

Packs are given to increase the activity of the skin at large. Many diseases of the kidney and bladder are caused b3r the lime contained in hard water.

WEAKNESS of the joints and muscles, impurity of the blood, urinary catarrh, ana other disordered organic functions, permanently cured by using Brown's Iron Hitters. It strengthens the affected parts, infuses new life, new health and now vigor into tho whole general system, and makes life seem well worth living.

SLEEPING ON11THEBACK-SIDE."

A plenty of breathing space round one's bed (remarks The Christian Union) can bo only an advantage and benefit and it is suggested that some of tho "morning dullness" and actual headache so ofton complained of may be traceable to sleeping close to tho side of the room, and breathing all night the air reflected from the wall.

A physician was lately called to proscribe for a young lady. There was "nothing the matter'with her, she declared,"nothing but a terrible headache." Ever morning she awoke with a terrible headache and it lasted nearly half the day. It had been going on for months—ever since they moved into their new house. Tho doctor tried all the old remedies and they all failed. Riding and archory were faithfully tested, study and practice were cheerfully given up. Nothing did any good. "Will you let me see your lied-room?" asked the doctor one day, and he was shown up into the prettiest little -nest imaginable.

Nothing wrong about the ventilation. The windows were high and broad, and were left open every night, the patient said. The lied stood In one corner against the wall. "How do you sleep?" says the doctor. "On my right side, at the bacK ot the bed, with my face to the wall. Lou likes the front best." "She does!" said the doctor. "So do I. Will you do me a favor to wheel that bed into the middle of the rooin and sleep so for a week? Then let me know about the headache."

The middle of the room, indeed And there were the windows on one side, and the two doors on the other sides, and the mantel with its Macrarne lamberquln on the fourth side. There was no place for the bod but just where it stood, in the corner. "Never mind, sacrifice your lambrequin," urged thedoctor "just fora weok, you know."

The lambrequin was sacrificed, the bed moved where it had free air on both sidoa and the headache disappeared.

SLIGHTLY EXAGGERATED. The tendency of some Western men to exaggerate is well set off in tho following: "Yes, sir," resumed the Dakota man, as tho crowd of agriculturists seated themselves around a little tablo, "yes, sir we do things on rather a Sizable scale. I've seen a man on one of our big farriis start out in tho Spring and plow a straight furrow until Fall. Then he turned around and harvestod back. We have some big farms up there, gentlemen. A friend of mine owned oue on which he had to give a mortgage, and the mortgage was due on one end before tbey could get it recorded on the other. You see it was laid off in counties."

There was a murmur of astonishment, and the Dakota man continued: "I got a letter from a man who lives in my orchard, just before I left home, and it had been three weeks getting to the dwelling-bouse, although it bad traveled day andnigbt.'*

Distances are pretty wide up there, ain't they?" inquired one. "Reasonably, reasonably," replied the Dakota man. "And the worst of it is, it breaks up families so. Two years ago I saw a whole family prostrated with grief. Women yelling, children howling, dogs barking. One of my men had his camp truck packed on seven fourmuie teams, and he was around bidding everybody good-by." "Where was

begoiDg?"

asked a Grave-

send man. "He was going half-way across the farm to feed the pigs," replied the lakotaman. ,. j. "Didn't he ever get back to his family?" "It lsnt time for him yet." returned the Dakota gentleman. ".Up there we send young married c-ouples milk the cows, and their children bring home the milk."

HAYBSVILI.K, Ohio, Feb. 11, 1880. I am very glad to say I have tried Hop Bittets, and never took anything that did me ae much good. I only took two bottles and I would not take $100 for tho good tbey did me. I recommend them to my patients, and get the best results from theft tine.

B. Mkr KK, M. I).

"I THOUOHT I should die the other night I was taken witb a diarrhoea and cramp and vomiting. Our folks tried everything without effect. We sent to the store and got a bottle of Nerve King. I was better immediately."

Look Well to the X»m« The only Genuine German Hop Bitters have the word "German" blown in the bottle. ^n)

HOW TOE UCHRB TRA MPS. A Westchester County former, who is much annoyed by tramps, came to the eity a while ago and had half a dozen signs of "Smallpox—Beware!" painted to post up on his house and grounds. Although he had one on either sides of his gate, they had not been up two hours when a tramp passed between them and knocked ou the door and asked for food. "Didn't you see those signs on tho gate?" demanded the farmer. "Yes'r, but I can't read."

The next one said ho was near-sighted and thought the signs read "for sale." The third had had small-pox and was I willing to nurse the family. The fourth had been vaccinated and was reckless. Tho fifth had a remedy to sell, and the sixth, after getting away with a cold bite, turned to hisbenefaetor and said: "If you want to beat the boys knock down them signs and put tip one rending: 'Help wanted.' Such a sign never fails to keep 'em jogging straight along."

The farmer followed the advice, and ho hasn't bad a call since.

If// THE YCOULDN DO IT. Thomas Kongmacher, of Yardleyville, Pa., left a will directing that his body be drawn to the graveyard by the two young stallions that had, by running away, caused him injuries resulting in his (leath, and that a friend should follow the hearse on horseback, carrying a banner "representing the four races, in the faces of Henry W. Longfellow, of Boston, E. G. Brown, of Richmond, Spotted Dog, of the Cheyenne tribe, and Loo Choo, of California." He also ordered that, in lieu of any ordinary funeral service, a Government bond for $100 should be burned over his coflin. As the will has just been found, two, years after his death, it is too late to carry out all of thoso provisions.

QUESTIONS IN ARITHMETIC. In one lot there are four calves, and in another two young men with theirliair parted in the centre. How many calves in all

A woman bought eleven yards 3f cloth and paid for it with butter, giving three pounds of butter for a yard. There was a stone weighing five pounds in tho contre of the crock, and tho dealer cheated her a yard- and a half in measuring tho cloth. Who was ahead on the trade, and how much

A farmer's wife has twentj'-two hens. A preacher comes to stay over Sunday, and she cooks a neck-piece of corn-beef. How many hens has she left?"

SVDDENL WEAKEN ED. Cincinnati Times-Star. "1 sullored with rheumatism of tlift back and hip for a number of years," said Mr. Thomas Morgan, Superintendent of Streets. "1 was waited on by physicians, but they gave no permanent relief, and

I

resolved to try St. Jacobs fil.

My rheumatism weakened at the first attack of its great enemy, St. Jacol«*il, and soon I was well."

THE public has long since awarded to Ayer's Hair Vigor the foremost place am reliable Hair Restoratives. It is effectual, agreeable and absolutely harmless. It makes the hair fresh and luxuriant, and old age scarce and unfashionable. _____________

The World Ntlll Cloves. Notwithstanding Mother Shipton's dire prediction, the world still exists. Tbepeoplo will live longer if thoy uso Dr. Bigelow's Positive Cure, which subdues and conquers coughs, colds, consumption, whooping cough, and all diseases of the lungs. For proof call Groves «fe Lowry's drug store and get a bottle free. ______________ (1) ly» pepsin.

Dyspepsia and sick headaahe do not return to thoso who have used the Great German Hop Bitters. (2m)

A World wautff proof "The proof of the pudding is the en ing theroof," and not in chewing string which tied the bag. Theref take Dr. Jones' Red Clover Tonic, cures ail blood disorders, tornid live sick headache, costiveness and all dieases of tho urinary organs. The I

catalogue and full particulars.

S

appetizer and tonic known. Sold I Groves fe Lowry. Fifty conts per bo tie. (1)

01500 j«»r year can be easily made iiAine working for, E. G. Hideout. A- Co., I' Barclay Btrcet, New York. Heml for

IM

Moore's (Lens

Shaped)

Su/,'ar "ffl Coated

ure Cure for Clilils 50.f The Great ftlaria 1Antidote. Sol by UrugyiU, Dr. C. C. Moore, 78 d^ortiaiicJt St. NcwYork.

Invaluable lo every family*

i?o«K Practical (MMn. Clear l*Mt binding »nd Illw*tratl~ AGENTS WANTED. 9Tli to flbO per Month For Term*, tddreti J.

C. MTCURDY

It CO., Cincinnnai:

The Great

Consumption Reme

BRO WN'S

EXPECT0RAH

Hue been Utmled in

hundred* of

ccu^

nover fnlltd to arrnitl nrtd rum 1 UMPTIOjr, if taken in tim

It Cures Cough*. It, Cures Asthma. it Cures Jironchitif. It. Cures Hoarseness It Cures Tightness of th It Cures nifflcttlty of

BROWN'S Exf»ecotV\N In Specialty HccommS

WamewG

of the dltea

It will »lurten the durtt,

0f

on/chit

a'id at'ectnte the p"rr*xpigf through to a* to enable the

rhiltyon»cquenccs.

without leaving any ten, & rmcE, r,oc *1-00-

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