Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 12, Number 29, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 14 January 1882 — Page 4

THE MAIL

-,4,

A PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE.

P. S. WESTFALL,

EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.

TVBLICATION orncz,

Ho It Booth Mi it, Printing House Square.

TERRE HAUTE, JAN. 14, 1882.

WHY NOTt.

Several weeks since the clergy of the city resolved not to advertise the subjects of their sermons. As reforms are only brought about by going first to opposite extremes this was, perhaps, a wise resolution. The reasons for the action, however, were somewhat different in our mind from those which were put forth in the resolution. We hardly think that, possibly with rare exceptions, the custom of announcing themes through the papers, caused the peopA to run from one church to another, or that it cultivated a taste for sensational sermons. The ministers seem to think— some of them at least—that they must put their subject in some sensational' form in order to advertise it. The result was that they often made themselves ridiculous. In fact a more absurd set of themes for the pulpit could hardly be found or imagined, than could be culled: from the columns of '-Sunday Services* of the Terre Haute papers for the past five or six years. This to us, was the real reason which should have lod to a reform. The ludicrous efforts made to announce a theme which should attract the public eye, arouse curiosity, and draw an audience, had ceased to be amusing and bad become painful. The notion that it caused people to leave their own church and go to other churches, 1b entirely a mistaken one. These weekly acrobatic efforts at a strange feat of announcement had loDg ceased to interest the public, and no church goer, unless it was a stranger in the city, paid any attention to them.

We ought to add, what is equally true, that out of the announcement of pulpit themes in the papers of the city for the past five or six years, there oould be also be culled as uninteresting and appropiate a set of themes as it is possible to introduce into the pulpit. Now these are the ones, we claim, which should have been, and which might profitably continue to be, announoed— themes of special interest aud appropriateness. No one dreamed that there wasanything inappropriate in announcing through the papers that Col. Thompson would speak at a memorial service the Sunday after the death of Mr. Ryce. There would have been nothing more inappropriate in the pastor of that church announcing that he would prcach a memorial sermon. And if a memorial sermon may be announced why not/any other sermon of special interest? Let the announcement be simple and straight forward. No one would think of announcing a memorial service as "A Response to Gabriel's Bugle Call," and why announce a sermon on Peter's Temptation, by the caption "Afraid of a Girl," or a sermon on his penitence by the caption, "A Powerful Sermon by a Bantam, or a Shanghai," as the proachcr may conclude was tho breed of cock that crowed and reminded Peter of his sin.

If a clergyman has a special sermon which he think* will interest and profit his poople, or the public generally, wo can soo no harm in saying so either from tho pulpit or in tlio papers. There area groat many people who go to church only onco on Sunday who would now nnd then go out tho second time if there were somo theme to bo presented in which they had special interest. There area great many people who would not go to church at ail, but who will 1)6 led to go by the announcement of such a theme. It is but now and then that regular church-goers would be led away from their own churches, and oven in such casos it might do them more good to see the inside of a neighboring church than their own, and to hear a sew voice.

Our idea is that what was wanted was not the entire abolition of the Sunday announcements, but more good sense in the selection of both the themes to be announced and the time of announcing. The incessant weekly fusilade of themes sensible and senseless, interesting and without interest, straightforward and roundabout, brought the whole custom into deserved disrepute. If, now that the pendulum has swung, as it always does in reforms, to the opposite extreme, it can rest over the golden mean, and preachers, independent of control by each other, announce themea of special interest as they chance to treat them, or even common themes in a simple and dignitied manner, they will, we think, help forward the cause which they have at heart. We are not drumming for advertising, as we get no f»y for the space occupied, but are giving sensible men a little advice which they can take for what they think it is worth, and not at our own estimate of its value.

PRESIDENT ARTHCR is in tar-ions danger 6f wrecking his administration on the rock of stalwartism and of wrecking the Republican party with it. Already several of the iufinontial Republican journals of the country are beginning to give manifestations of discontent at somo of the late appointments and other names are prominently named for High places which are even more objectionable. Mr. Arthur will finu himself mistaken if he thinks be can adroitly Joist staiwartism, pure and simple, upon the country without a protest, Tfccre will be some lively kicking if he shall undertake this.

tfi A LESSON FROM LIFE, The life is that of one of The Mail's early newsboys. No matter bow we came in possession of the facts, bat it is worth while to say that they are literal facta, end we think, contain a pleasant and wholesome lesson. A young man just of age, and nearly six feet tall, is often seen upon the streets of the city, coming in from the oountry, driving a very good pair of horses. He does not resemble much the boy who was accnstomed to come among the crowd on Saturday afternoons to get his package of Mails. And yet he is the same boy. His mother, an industrious and frugal woman, lived in one of the back tenements on Main street over a store, a tenement of two or three rooms. The boy was always neat, and yet probably there waa not one poorer among all the crowd that weekly came to The Mail office. How doee it come about that at twenty-one he ia driving his own team? Having moved into the country, he was able, three years ago, to secure a worn out piece of land of five acres on which to raise wheat. He raised that year forty-seven bushels of wheat, paid for threshing it by repairing the threshing machine, and gave one third for rent. The next year he rented twelve aerea, and used most •of his first harvest for seed.

Meanwhile he had bought a colt with the small sums which he had put into the Savings Bank, representing largely his earnings as a Mail newsboy. He made enough off his twelve acres of wheat to buy a horse werth nearly a hundred dollars. He broke his colt and so had a pair. The next year he put in eighteen acres of wheat and now has, besides his pair of horses, harness and a wagon, and a hundred and seventy-five dollars at interest. This Fall he put in twenty acres of wheat which is looking fine. He is a consistent member of the Methodist church. Now this young man will be greatly surprised to read this sketch of his oourse, but such facts are easy to get, and when gotten they are too good to keep. With spared life and health our newsboy is destined to become one of the thrifty, prosperous and self-reliant farmers of his region, owning his own farm, and then probably having money at interest beside.

We take an honest pride in the fact that, while aiming to build up a good business for ourselves, (we lay no claim to philanthrophy in our business) we have beeu able to furnish an honorable and lucrative employment to many ambitious boys of the city from families in all grades of pecuniary condition. They have been taught self-reliance, and business habits, and encouraged to practice industry and economy. The Savings Bank "could a tale unfold" which would be full of encouragement in this direction.

We have often, in the colnmns of The Mail, recommended just the course pursued by this young man. There is an abundance of land to be secured in all this region by any person willing to work it. An acre or two at first enables te secure more acres afterwards. And the young man who is oontent to go on by the slow steps of honest increase from honest toil, can go on to competence. The young man who wants to jump into competence at a single bound, or is wanting to be lifted into plenty by some friend, will remain in his poverty and uselessness. It is the old story of tho race between tho hare and tortoise. No matter how slow, if one keeps steadily at it, he will succeed wondrously.

Again, it would be worth a fortune to many children who otherwise will be reared in want, to 1)0 content to livo in the country. So long as people prefer to starve, or beg iti the city rather than livo well in tho oountry, there will be a lively demand for rickety tenement houses, swarming with ill-fed, poorlydressed, ignorant, and diseased children. Thoreare thousands of such who might be well-off in the country.

But, city or country, it is only industry and economy that bring success.

MR. FLHTCHKR, tho Fish Commissioner for this State, says he is receiving many letters of inquiry from farmers and others in regard to the construction of fish-ponds, which indicates that there is a growing interest in the subject of fish-culture throughout the State. As The Mail has heretofore intimated, such ponds can be constructed at a trifling cost, and will, besides being a source of pleasure to their owners, repay many fold, in actual profit, the cost of their construction and keeping. The Eastern people are far ahead of the Western in this respect. In the Eastern States there are thousands of such private ponds for the propagation and culture of fish, and they are made a handsome source of income. It is to be hoped that our people will more generally turn their attention to the subject of raising fish for private and public use.

THKRK is somo disquietude in South Carolina by reason of the newly developed inclination of the colored people to emigrate. Several hundreds of them have set out for Arkansas,and throughout the State, it is said, there is a growing disposition to move to some country where their political rights will be more respected. After all it ia not probable that any great proportion of them will remove from the State but the going oat of considerable numbers will be likely to ameliorate the condition of those who remain. J-

IT was noted that all of Guiteau'a buoyancy and bravado forsook him while Judge Porter was painting the fiendish new* of his crime to the jury. For once the assassin seemed to fpel that be was sitting in tho very shadow of the gallows.

lSIKlS®|KS8ii

THE GOSPEL OF JBSTHETICLSM. JEsthetic New York has gone wild over that apostle of apstheticism, Mr. Oscar Wilde, who, with long locks, lownecked shirt and knee breeches, has lately crossed the ocean to see this wonderful America of ours. Of course Oscar ia delighted, Every Englishman ia who crosses the briny to line his pockets with the sheckels of onr fools. He gave a lecture in New York explaining—if that is the proper word to use—the gospel of sestheticism. No doubt the long-locked, pale-faced sesthetics, who, presumable, composed his audience, understoodevery word and accent of the honeyed orator but, to one perusing the lecture in cold type and with unsestheticeyes, it is not to oe wondered at if there is a trace of obscurity in it. This fact is not against the sesthetic orator but results from the infirmity of the unsesthetic reader. For the benefit of the sesthtic portion of our readers, however, we present a few gems from Mr. Wilde's lecture. Here is an easy one: "In its primary aspect a painting has no more spiritual message than an exquisite fragment of Venetian glass. The channels by which all noble andimagina tive work in painting should touch the soul are not those of the truths of lives. This should be done by a certain inventive and creative handling entirely independent of anything definitely poetical in the subject something entirely satisfying in itself, which is, as the Greeks would say, in itself an end. So the joy of poetry comes never from the subject, but from an inventive handling of rhythmical language."

After demonstrating that.criticism has no place in sesthetic culture, and advising the art critic to hold his tongue at all times and upon all subjects," the apostle says:

For artists, like the Greek gods, are only revealed to one another. As Emerson says somewhere, their real value and place time only can show. The true critie addresses not the artist ever, but the public. His work lies with them. Art can never have any other aim than her own perfection. I have no reverence, said Kelts, for the public, or for anything in existence, but the eternal Being, the memory of great men, and the principle of beauty."

We were prepared to hear that eesthetidsm has no moral sense. Mr. James and his school have been rigorously teaching {hat doctrine to those who would reatT his books'for some time past. Says Mr. Wilde:

It is not an increased moral sense or moral supervision that your literature needs. Indeed, one should never talk of amoral or immoral poem. Poems are either well written er badly written that is all. Any element of morals or implied reference to a standard of good or evil in art is often a sign of a certain incompleteness of vision. All good work aims at a purely artistio effect. But as in your cities so in your literature, it is an increased sensibility to beauty that is lacking Love art for its own sake, and then all things that you need will be added to you. This devotion to beauty, and to the creation of beautiful thi ngs. is tho test of all great civilizations it is wnat makes the life of each citizen a sacrament, and not a speculation. For beauty is the only thing that time can not harm. Philosophies fall away like sand, creeds follow one another, but what is beautiful is a joy for all seasons, a possession for all eternity."

That is to say: If Don Juan is better written than Evangeline or Snow Bound it is to be esteemed the better poem. Such seems to be the gospel of testheticism. It remains to be seen whether it will supplant the gospel of purity.

J.

JUDGE DUNLKVT, of Warren county, Ohio, who died recently at an advanced age, left in his will certain directions for his funeral which, though somewhat peculiar, certainly contain much good seusc. He wished to have no funeral sormon, for tho reason that there is IIO authority for it in the {scriptures and it is calculated to iuculcate the erroneous belief that funeral services in some way help the dead also that the common practice of extenuating the faults of the dead and dwelling on some virtues which they may have possessed has a tendency to produce the impression on many that there is little difference at last iu the moral character of men, as all seem to he alike at death. He wished to be buried in the plainest manner, in a common coffin and his grave marked with the plainest kind of a substantial head stone that there should be no public funeral and that not even his children at a distance should be at the trouble and expense of making along journey in?order to be present at his burial. These ideas as to the proper method of conducting a funeral are somewhat different from those which commonly prevail but it will hardly be denied that Judge Dunlevy's example might in some respects at least, be followed to^advantage by the public generally.

THE Supreme Court has decided that justices of the peace have jurisdiction in criminal cases where the punishment may include imprisonment in the county jail. Thus a very vexed question has been disposed of, greatly to the satisfaction of the 'squires, who were told and believed that they could not try cases of the kind mentioned indeed, the Attor-ney-General himsslf so advised them. But the event sbowg that that dignitary is not as "big a man" as the Supreme Court,

ILLINOIS, according to the Chicago Journal, has three candidates for the Presidency, to-wit: Robert Lincoln, Senator Logan, and Senator David Davis. There is hardly Presidential timber in the two last, though there might possibly be in the first, in the event of a "dark hone" becoming necessary.

SMALL-POX is reported from sixty-one jtoints in Illinois and there are cases in a large number of States. Tbe disease ia assuming the shape of a threatening epidemic and it behooves everybody to for-1 lily tlieuiwlves against it kry vaci nation. ,V*r

THB murder of John Walton, a farmer, near St. Paul Decatur county, last Monday night, was one of the most shocking crimes ever committed in this State. Walton was sitting in his own house in the evening, reading a paper, when he was shot, through the window, the ball taking effect in his head. Providentially a bit of paper composing the gun-wading was found on the floor by means of which Aaron Eraser, a negro, was almost immediately proven to be the murderer. He oonfeseed the crime, alleging that he was hired by Garrett, a neighbor of Walton's, to commit the murder and was to have |700 for doing the deed. Garrett had arranged for a party at his own house the same night in order to be able to prdve an alibi, should suspicion fall on him. Frazer also stated that Garrett and Walton's wife were criminally intimate and that it was part of the plan for Mrs. Walton to leave the window shutter open that night. Garrett stoutly maintained his innocence until the confession of Frazer was placed before him, when his cheek blanched and he tried to blow his brains out with a pistol, but will recover. There is a fine opportunity for putting some hemp to good use in that vicinity

A STARTLING incident in the Guiteau matter is the bargain and sale of the assassin's body. While Scoville, the hard-working counsel for the ungrateful wretch whose days are now numbered, was busy injhisoffieeon Friday of last week, a stranger entered and without any preliminary remarks offered a thousand dollars for Guiteau's body, expressing a willingness to pay the money immediately and take his chances of the assassin being declared insane, in which case he would be a loser. Scoville thought the man one of the many cranks now congregated there, but a few moments' conversation convinced him to the contrary, and he promised to consider the proposition. The incident was mentioned to Guiteau, who thought the amount too small by half, but he nevertheless regarded the offer favorably, and said that the money would enable him to pay off his old debts and secure anew trial in ease of an unfavorable verdict, and

it

was de­

cided to accept the proposition and a contract was drawn up stipulating to deliver the body of Guiteau to the purchaser as soon as the authorities are through with it, and tho money was paid over. It is not known whether the purchaser intends to embalm the body and exhibit it, or torn it over to the dissecting table.

Vi

THE lawyers are making their arguments in the Guiteau case, and before another eek rolls around twelve good men and true will have converted tho vile wretch into a convicted murderer. And a terrible change will come over him when that verdict is rendered. Those who are thrown into official and personal contact with him during his remaining days on earth will often be tempted to ask, "Where be thy jibes now?" It is said that Scoville and John W. Guiteau have a foreboding that the assassin will be hanged. They communicated this opinion to the prisoner, but he refused to entertain the idea. He expects the j*ry to acquit him, but if they should find him guilty he will make revelations, he says, which will astonish the world. The chief dread of the prosecution is that the jury may disagree. Two of the jurors have insane friends, and this may have some weight with them. Judge Cox, too, from a similar cause, may give the case for the defense more consideration than outsiders may antici-

IT is reported from Washington that the physicians who attended President Garfield have been in consultation as to their fees, and that tho following sums have been agreed on by them: Dr. Bliss, $50,000 Agnew and Hamilton, each $£5,000 Reyburn, $8,000, and Dr. Boynton and Mrs. Dr. Edson, $1,000 each making in all $110,000. It is intimated that there will be a lively kick at the amount fixed for Dr. Boynton, who, it is claimed, was largely in control of the case after the relapse in July, and was preferred to Dr. Bliss as leading physician. Whatever may be odd of Dr. Bliss, it would seem that he is quite competent in the matter of taking care of his fees.

THE mortality during the past year In Chicago, shows an increase of nearly twenty per cent, over that of 1880, being 25% per 1,000. Nevertheless, the HealthCommissioner says the irfcrease is no larger than cities all over the globe have experienced, and that Chicago is the healthiest city in the world except London and Philadelphia.

IN its February number, the North American Review will have another of its series of articles on "The Christian Religion," from the pen of Dr. Fisher, of the Yale Divinity school, one of the moet scholarly and able defenders of the Christian faith now living. It will no doubt be interesting and profitable reading-

INDIANA has 2,252 women farmers, 5S2 boarding-house keepers, sixty-six authoresses, 107 book-sellers, and fiftytwo bar-keepers., The comparatively small number of boaiding-houae keepers will strike most people with surprise,

THXRX are thirty-six members in the Utah legislature, and of this number thirty-two are high officer* in the Mormon church and twenty-right live in flagrant defiance of the law against polygamy. This Is rather a peculiar state of facts.

RICHARD H. DANA, JR., author of "Two Years Before tbe Mast," died in Rome last Saturday,gpurviving bis venerable father, of the same name, only two years. and panics in theaters."

•KILL

t"

SA YING8 AND DOINGS.

In a life of sixty-five years one must have eaten thirty tons of solids and liquids. If, "One's two" is the contradictory statement a man often makes in an oyster saloon.

ANew Jersey man "oouldnt see any danger in amoking while weighing powder." There will be an inquest in case any fragments are found.

Hunt's picture of Niagara sold for $10,000 the other day, and the Philadelphia News explains that the purchaser thought it cheaper to buy the picture at that price than to visit the falls and drive around in a hack.''

A Colorado paper speaks of a recent wedding there aa "reeking with beauty and magnificence." This recalls the Little Rock paper that said of an actress: "She was called before the curtain, and greeted with condign enthusiasm.

It is reported that the Yanderbilt stables surpass those of the Roman Emperor who loved horses. There are Turkey carpets in the men's appartments and all the surroundings are superb. In front are colossal terra cottas by Eemeys, the sculptor.

Mrs. Mary A. Livermore lectured in Cincinnati Sunday evening. Referring to the prevalent non-observance of Sunday, she believed it was a reaction from the too rigid rules on the subject which formerly obtained. She was certain this was the case in the East.

The Chicago Herald says it is estimated that ,000 fathers and mothers are living with married sons or daughters in Chicago. The "Free Press" thinks this does not seem at all strange, except to a young man who thinks of marrying to have some one to take care of him.

It is said that when Gov. Long asked permission to quote a portion of Mr. John G. Whittier's poem after an extract fronfthe Psalms in his recent famous Thanksgiving proclamation, Mr. Whittier replied that he was not quite' sure wheather David, a King and a warrior, would care to be found in the company of a Quaker and a republican."

Four students of a Wisconsin college, who stole a farmer's gate "for fun," were given by the faculty the alternative of leaving the college or 'of undergoing such punishment that the farmer m%ht inflict. They chose the latter, and the farmer condemned them to chop four cords of his wood aud deliver it to a poor widow. They did it to the music of a band and the plaudits of a crowd that watched the operation.'^ 7 "John K. Meier ahd bride." That was the registry at an Omaha hotel, and the word "bride" is boldly underscored. Tbe man who wrote it was apparently under 20, and the girl not more than 16. The landlord formed the opinion that they were a runaway couple, who hoped to avert suspicion by boldness. He informed4the police, by whom the husband (and husband he really proved to be) was arrested and shut up for the night away from his wife

4

An editor over in Missouri thinks this is a strange world, and this is his reason: A doctor will Bit down And write a prescription time five seconds, paper and ink one-fourth of a cent, and the patient pays one, two, three, five or ten dollars, as the case may be. A lawyer writes ten or twenty words of advice and gets ten to twenty dollars from his client. An editor writes a half column puff for a man, pays a man from fifty cents to a dollar for putting it in type, prints it on several dollars worth of paper, sends it to several thousand people, and then surprises the puffed man if he makes any charge.

The common practice of having night lights in the bed-rooms of children of well-to-do parents is deprecated by'JDr. Robert H. Bakewell. He says that it has a most injurious effect upon the nervous system of young children. "Instead of the perfect rest the optic nerves ought to have, and which nature provides for by the darkness of the night, these nerves are perpetually stimulated, and, of course, the brain and the rest of the nervous system suffer. Children thus brought up are excessively tintid for years after on going into the dark."

SPEAKING of the danger from fire in theaters The Detroit News makes these sensible suggestions: "Allowing that all due care ia exercised by the managements (there is good proof that it is not always exercised) there yet remains something to be done by the firemen of this city. First, the men on the fire companies situated nearest the theatres shocftd be kept constantly posted as to tbe surroundings, exits and points from which best te operate in and about these crowded places. Their visits should be made often and the inspections thorough. Next, whenever there is a theater full of people, one or more firemen should be there, precisely as Intelligent policemen are detailed to be present whereover there is a crowd, even when there may not be the remotest probability of trouble. One cool-headed, brave-hearted fireman present at the begining of a fire in a theater would be worth more for tbe first few minutes than the entire city force five minutes later. He would know just what to do and how to do it, and bis very presence might stop a panic, aaan order from him to a frightened crowd would have more effect than the brawling of a score of frightened managers or half-witted stage carpenters. It is the duty of our city fire commission to furnish us this element of safety, or something like it, as no amount of preliminary precaution be wholly relied upon to prevent fires

JL

mm

AN ELOQUENT OR A TlON.

COLONEL INGKRSOLL'S TRIBUTE AT THE GRAVE OF A FRIEND'S CHILD.

A correspondent of the St. Louis Globe Democrat tells that in a remote corner of the Congressional Cemetery, in Washington last Sunday afternoon, a small group of people with uncovered heads were arranged around a newly-opened grave. They included Detective and Mrs. George A. Miller and friends, who had gathered to witness the burial of the former's bright little son, Harry. As the coffin rested upon the trestles there was a painful pause, broken only by the mother's sobs, until the undertaker advanced toward a stout, floridcomplexioned gentleman in the party and whispered to him, the words being inaudible to the lookers-on. This gentleman waa Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll, a friend of the Millers, who attended the funeral at their request. He then shook his head and said, "Does Mr. Miller desire it?" The undertaker gave an affirmative nod, Mr. Miller looked toward the noted orator, and then hastily Colonel Ingersoll advanced to the side of the grave and made one of his characteristic eulogies for the dead. He stood unprotected from the drizzling rain, and said "My friends, I know now vain it is to gild grief with words, and yet, I wish to take from every grave its fear. Here in this world, where life and death are equal kings, all should be brave enough to meet what all the dead have met. The future has been filled with fear, stained and polluted by the heartless past. From the wondrous tree of life, the buds and blossoms fall with ripenech fruit, and in the oommon bed of earth the patriarchs and babies sleep side by side. Why should we fear that which will come to all that is We cannot tell. We do not know which is the greater blessing—life or death. We cannot say that death ia not a good we do not know whether the grave is the end of this life or the door of another, or whether the night here ia not somewhere else dawn. Neither can we tell which is tbe more fortunate, the child dying in its mother's arms, before its lips have loarned to form a word, or he who journeys all tho length of life's uneven road, painfully taking the laat slow steps with staff and crutch. Every cradle asks us, 'Whence?' and every coffin, Whither?' The poor barbarian, weeping above his dead, can answer these questions as intelligently and satisfactorily as the robed priest of the most authentic creed. The tearful ignorance of the one is just as good as the learned and unmeaning words of the other. No man standing where the horizon of a life has toucheda grave, has any right to prophecy a future filed with pain and tears. It may be that death gives all there is of worth to life. If those we press and strain against our hearts could never die, perhaps that love would wither from the earth. Maybe this common fate treads from out the paths between our hearts the weeds of selfishness and bate, and I bad rather live and lovo where death is king, than have eternal life where love is not. Another life is naught, unless we know and IOYC again the ones who love us bere. "They who stand with breaking hearts around this little grave need have no fear. The larger and the nobler faith in all that is, and is to be, tells us that death, even at its worst, is only perfect rest. We know that through the common wants of life, tho needs and duties of each hour, their grief will lessen day, by day until at last theso graves will be to them a place of rest and peace, almost of joy. There is for them this consolation: The dead do not suffer. If they live again their lives will surely boas good as ours. We have no fear we are all children of the same mother, aud the same fate awaits us all. We, too, have our religion, and it Is this: 'Help for the living, hope for the dead.'"

THE LANGUAGE OF UMBRELLAS. There is a language of umbrollas, as of dowers'. For instance, place your umbrella in a rack, and it will indicate that it is about to change owners. To open it quickly in tbe street means that somebody's eye is going to be put out to shut it, that a hat or two is going to bo knocked off. An umbrollu carried ovora woman, the man getting nothing but the drippings of tho rain, .signifies courtship when tho man has tho umbrella, and the woman the drippings, it indicatos marriage. To push your umbrella into a person and then open it, means, "I dislike you." To swin^ your umbrella over your head slgniiic.s, "I am making a nuisanco of-myself." To trail your umbrella along tho foot-path means that the man behind you is hi rating for your blood. To carry it at right angles under your arm signifies that an eye is to be lost by tbe man who follows you. To open an umbrella quickly, it is said, will frighten a mad bull. To put a cotton umbrella by tbe side of a nice silk one signifies, "Exchange is no robbery." Te purchase an umbrella means, "I am not smart, but honest." To lend an umbrella indicates, "I am a fool." To return an umbrella means— never mind what it means nobody ever does that. To turn an umbrella in gust of wind presages profanity. To carry your umbrella In a case signifies that it is a shabby one. To carry an open umbrella just high enough to tear out men's eyes and knock off men's hats signifies, ''1 am a woman." To press an umbrella on your friend, saying, Oh do take it S would much rather yon would than not." signifies lying. To give a friend half your umbrella means that both of you will got wet. To carry it from home in the morning means, "It will clear off."

THE NEW LEAF. Reading, Pa., Timeo. JAN. 7.

Ja^». 1.

Hew Year, Elchtjr-two, Ko In-er—

The year through! Kojoke— Mighty traet Wont smoke.

Never chew! Dont care What they think— "Wont swear.

Never drink!

Peel queer— III ateoNe— One boer

If you please. Dont care If I doA olgar.

Yes, I chew. Beer's thinWeak staff! Whiskey skin— (food enough!

Rev. Littleton O'Neal, a colored preacher at Dewitt, Ark., undertook to turn out a member of his church,

and

was him­

self ejected. He rose up in his pulpit aad said: "Well, then, you may all go to bell."

THE Des Moines (Iowa) Tri-Woekly Tribune says: "A Harrisburg, Pa., Journal mentions that Mr. D. Ben ginger, No. 4 Market Square, that city, was cured by St. Jacobs Oil of [a violent attack of rheumatism.

THE relief given to catarrh of the :*neral weakness of elfect of wonderful.

no iuis reiiei giveu v»w«i bladder, and a general weal those parts, by the soothing

ire8!

Brown's Iron Bitters, Lt simply