Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 9, Number 48, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 31 May 1879 — Page 1

Vol. 9.—No. 48*

THE MAIL

A PAPER FOR THB PEOPLE.

SECOND EDITION.

Town-Talk.

Society never made the preposterous demand tbat a man should think as much of his own qualifications for making a charmlug girl happy as be thinks of hers for making himself happy. As if a man could choose not only his wife but his wife's husband."—George Eliot. "Fiddle-de-de, Toml No doubt you •re In in love. But you are entirely mistaken as to the person with whom you are in lore." "Da you mean to insinuate anything against the character of that girl, or that she -wouldn't make the most charming wife that man ever had "I've nothing to say for or against the girl, but I do say that it is not she that you love, or a woman at all. You are head over ears in love with a man."

Tom looked at T. T. in utter astonishment. He evidently didn't know whether T. T. wis joking, or gone crazy, or the "charming girl" about whom he had been raving and threatening dire vengance upon the fellow who had "cut him out," was a man in female attire, or what did he mean. So T. T. told Tom that, like nine-tenths of the men who think they are in love with a "deuced fine girl", he was simply in love with himself. He admired her beauty and her wit, enjoyed her society, believed she would make him happy, and be a very pleasant and useful piece of property. In fact, every thought about her was of the use she would be to him. And now when she seemed to enjoy making some other fellow happy he was mad, ready to visit dire vengeance upon the one for whom she cared. If he really loved her he might be sorry that she did not love him, but would not be determined to do the very thing that would make her miserable. Tom informed T. T. that he was a "sour old bachelor," who didn't know anything about love, any way. Still T. T. claims that he does know snough about love to know that Any amount of stuff that goes by that name is the intensest sort of selfishness. A man wants a good housekeeper, or a pleasant companion, or some other convenience, and finds a woman who fills the bill to a T, and concludes that he is in leve, and takes it as a matter of course that the woman will dutifully esteem it the highest privilege possible to sacrifice herself upon his altar. If she chances to be of a different mind, and, refusing to march smilingly to his altar, prefers to place herself upon another, he is as mad as he would be iif he had lost a good bargain la real estate or horse flesh. Now It strikes T. T. that real love will have more consideration for the one loved than for the lover himself, instead of no thought for the woman and all for himself. It does not seem to suggest itself to some men that the best of them are not worthy the love and saorlfloe of a really pure and noble woman. And yet, "sour old bach" as T. T. is, be holds that not one man In ten is worthy the wife he gets. Man gets the best of the bargain in marriage. That is the rule, and there are hardly exceptions enough to prove the rule. The saorifioee, the pains, the troubles of marriage are woman's, the pleasures and profits are man's. Now and then T.T. oomes across a man who freely admits and seems to feel that he is not worthy of the woman he loves, and who tries to make himself worthy, and T.T. always sets such an one down as really in love. But the great mass of men seem to regard themselves as superior beings who honor a woman by allowing her to become his slave. T.T. knows men on Main street, and on a good manjr^other streets, who have no more love for their wives than for their horses. Every thought of their Uvea centers in themselves. They are sorry when the wife has a headache or Is sick, because it is inoocvenlent to them. They would be sorry if the wife were to die (some of them wouldn't), because It would disturb the family relations and interfere with their comfort. The woman's time and strength are devoted to her husband, and she becomes feeble, "drav ti out," through her devotion to him sod his fornlly, and be takes it all

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as a matter of ooarse. She would not stir (torn home if he were too ill or tired to go, but he don't mind it when she is ill or tired. He has just as good a time, and stays out just %s late. Astd when be comes hone he must have his sleep, in order to be ready for business the next day, amd she must look after the children, be up nights with them, only being careful that neither she nor they disturb him. Call this love Then the wolf is in love with good mutton, and the dog goes into the flock of sheep to make love to them by having his fun in killing them. It is the love that swine have for the hand that feeds them. Meu may not be hogs, and women may not be angels, but a good many men who oome as uear to being hogs as is consistent witii humanity—that is very near—have for sweethearts or wives women who come as near to being angels as is consistent with humanity, and the swine think themselves in love because they desire or enjoy having the angels feed them. Now T. T. holds .that society ought to make, what George Eliot calls the "preposterous demand that a man should think as much of his own qualifications for making a charming girl happy as he thinks of hers for making him happy or else give up the preposterous notion that men marry from love, Some do love the women they marry, and think of them chiefly to make them happy, but many love only themselves and think only of the qualifications of women to increase their comfort. Roal love thinks less of self than the object loved.

A Woman's Opinions,

"Mrs. Myra Smith, one of the most successful lawyers in does all her own work, including sewing, and takes care of two children."

This is one of the many paragraphs, of like import, floating through the newspapers, and bearing upon their face the stamp of improbability. Notice the absurdity of the above. In the .first place, a successful lawyer must give his entire attention to his practice in the second place, a woman who does all her own work, including sewing, and does it as it ought to be done, will find scarcely a moment for any other employment and if to the drudgery of the kitohen and the slavery of the sewing machine, you add the care and training of two children, I take my solemn oath that a woman could not find time to read the Indiana Reports if her life depended upon it. These stories of wonderful females are started by well-meaning but prevaricating individuals, who hope by such miraculous examples to refute the argument which claims that if a woman engages in any trade or profession she must of necessity neglect her household duties. How abBurd! As well say, "Mr. A., besides being one of our most prominent lawyers, has successfully cultivated a large farm, harvested a good crop every year, and taken care of all his own horses, COWB, eto." You would exclaim at once, "Weil, I'll take my legal business to a man that hasn't quite so many irons in the fire." Of course, if a woman practices law or medicine, or teaches school or makes dresses or engages in any other kind of business she must necessarily take the time from her home duties. Housekeeping is in Itself a very laborious occupation, which, if properly attended to in all its details, requires a woman's constant and unremitting care.

She may, with efficient help and excellent management, occasionally find time to make a few calls, or write a letter or read a book, but these luxuries must be very judiciously sandwiched in, for if they occur too often, confusion very soon pervades the domestic harmony.

A married woman with a home and family may, it is true, engage in some other work and, to outward appearance, her household machinery runs along very smoothly, but when you see its inside workings you find many a flaw and imperfection, especially if compared to those homes where the mistress knows no other kingdom. The husband misses many a dainty dish from the tables every room proclaims the absence of woman's touch little garments exhibit a marked d«fio|enojr in dainty and skillful needlework the ohildren miss the klsssa, the caresses, the soothing lullaby, the pretty stories, the pleasant talks,—ail theee that only a mother can give. True, the husband can do without his favorite dishes the house may be just as oomfortable la summer, if there are no flowen on the table just as warm in winter, if the easy chairs and slippers and books are all wanting and the children may grow up just as fat and healthy and intelligent without the mother-love, yet the soul, the spirit of the home Is not there, and the future years will have no tender memories to soften life's rugged realities.

I was talking not long ago with a gentleman, who told me many expressive incidents In the domestic life of one of Indiana's most pleasing writer*.

It being too much trouble to have cooking done In the house, each mem

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ber of tbe family went where he pleased for his meals or went without them. Tbe children were voted an unabatable and unavoidable nuisance, and were magnanimously allowed to take oare of themselves. The husband bad a little room partitioned off from his store, where he spent his leisure hours and entertained his friends.

This woman, who is an admirable talker, frequently reoeived callers in the evening without having combed her hair during tbe entire day yet, notwithstanding all these imperfections as a wife, mother and housekeeper, she receives a regular salary of one hundred dollars per month for the products of her pen. My informant said it w*s utterly impossible for him to conoeive of a literary woman being any different from this one.

I often used to tease an enthusiastic and talented young friend who had adopted the profession of the law. "Suppose you were married," I would say, "and your husband should object to your practicing "O," would be the reply, "but 1 would have it understood before marriage that he was not to interfere." "Yes, but lovers often make promises that husbands do'not fulfill. Suppose that he should become dissatisfied with household affairs, or jealous of your public associations, and insist on your retiring to private life?" "I wouldn't do it. I'd tell him if he didn't like it he might leave." "But suppose you loved him "I'd never love him enough to give up my profession." "Well, suppose you had five children." "Pshaw! I won't suppose anything so improbable." "That's not at all improbable. What would you do when they were'Bick?" "Have my cases continued." "But by the time you had taken all five through the whooping cough and measles and mumps and scarlet fever, your cases would be like one of Mrs. Southworth's stories in the New York Ledger—indefinitely continued. Your clients would all die off without knowing which side had to pay the costs." "Well," she would finally exclaim, "T know how I can avoid all these difficulties. I will never marry."

This should be the unalterable decision of every woman who has an ambition to attain eminence in public life. She should not marry. Many men enter marriage that they may have the comforts of a home, and these they cannot possess if the wife devotes her time to outside duties. Whoever wishes to make a success in any one department in life must give her undivided time, energy and talents to this purpose. The conscientious wife and devoted mother cannot do this. Her mind may be in her profession, but her heart is with her family. Therefore it is an Indisputable conclusion that if a woman has the genius and the ambition to win fame and fortune for herself she should not marry, for by so doing she divides and weakens her power. It cannot be denied that many of our most noted women have been married, and although most of them loved their families and would not be separated from them, yet they all felt that they were struggling against adverse circumstances in trying to engage in any other work than that of tbe household. Then in tbe discussion of this subject there arise several complicated questions: should a woman permit ambition to prevent her fulfilling her destiny, which is commonly supposed to be marriage, or, having once entered tbe state of matrimony, should she allow any occupation to take her time from her family 7

It is a mistaken idea to suppose that all women are born to be wives and mothers, or that they are all fitted for housekeepers, any more than that all men are fitted for machinists or lawyers. It has always seemed to me a ridiculous interpretation of Almighty wisdom to Imagine that while men are born with so wide and varied a range of Intellect and capability, some natural and skillful mechanics, others possessing tbe keen and unerring judgment necessary to commercial enterprise, and others again endowed with the talents and powers of oratory that constitute a statesman—it seems strange that all these gifts should be conferred upon men, while women possess only the one qualification, that of housekeeping. The nineteenth century has done much to rectify this mistake, and It will be conceded before we celebrate another oentennial that women are born to be merchants as well as cooks, teachers as well as washerwomen, writers as well as nurses, and although the vast majority will stUl continue, very properly, to marry soon as poasible, yet If one doee feel as If she were better fitted for some ether calling she will not be so severely censured for "flying In the tece of Providence."

As regards the other question, whether a married woman should try to perform other duties than those pertaining to her household, there are so many different conditions existing that it would be impossible to make a statement broad enough to oover all of them* If a woman has a comfortable home and a good husband who provides well for his family, it seem9 propsr thit she should devote herself to her home unless she

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TERRE HAUTE, IND., SATURDAY EVENING, MAY 31, 1879

have a very Imperative summons to do otherwise but on the other band, where tbe health of the husband fails, or where, as is too often the oaae, he provides tbe family but not tbe means to support them, then there oan be no doubt but that it is tbe duty of the wife to make the best arrangement possible for the oomfort of her children, and bravely go forth into the world to labor for their maintenance. There is one more point to notlee before leaving this topic and that is whether the old msxlm "The greatest good to the greatest number," should not be entitled to serious consideration in such cases. I call to mind a lady lecturer who has addressed cultivated audiences in every large city in the country, including our own, and who has exeroised a national influence in the oause of right and justice that cannot be estimated. 1 onoe meta neighbor of hers who told me that her house was topsy-turvy, her husband's clothes unmended, and her children untidy and uncared for. Now there is a strong question whether this woman did not more than compensate for her dereliction at home by tbe great benefit which thousands of people received from her lectures. And when we think of the great good accomplished by such books as George Eliot's and those of many other women, one does not feel like laying down the rule that a woman's duty lies within the four walls of her home and there she must exclusively confine herself.

WELCOME TO SUSAN.

Apropos of all that has been written above I take pleasure in extending a hearty greeting to Susan whose surname is Perkins. I have often felt quite lonely (being the only lady among the corps of Mail writers), and have^felt the need of a female companion, a bosom friend, so to speak.

The vacuum is filled I am glad to see you. You may wrest from me my hardearned laurels, you may prove a dangerous rival who will eclipse my pale brilliancy. It matters not. "I but know that I love thee, whatever thou art."

Susan Perkins' Letter.

TERRE HAUTE, May 27,1879.

MY DBAR JOSEPHINE—I had no idea that my letter to you would create such a sensation. One would think that half the young men in town belenged to the Tiptop family to hear them rave. Perhaps they are "brothers, cousins and uncles" to the real Tiptop. It is amusing, too, to hear their comments on Susan Perkins! One says, "I hope her letter was long enough J" Another, "it certainly was silly enough J" And still another adds insult to injury by saying "that it was evidently written by some old' maid who had been slighted and took this method of showing her spite!" Now, Josephine, I will leave it to you— am I an old maid? Perhaps in the oourse of years I may be a red-haired old maid, wearing green goggles, with a purple ink stain on my finger, but now I dare any one to tell me to my face that I am over nineteen. The fact is I am Susan Perkins, originally from okaw 1 £4. j,.

Uncle Ezra has invited me to spend the summer with them, and as I have accepted the invitation you may expect to hear from me quite often. I intend going everywhere, and as you cannot be here to enjoy the fun I anticipate, shall write you everything. The more I see of Terre Haute, the better I like it. Matie has a horse and pheeton, and every day we take long drives through tbe beautiful streets of the city or in the surrounding oountry. You know Terre Haute is the home of many of our most distinguished men. Tbe other day we passed the*elegant country residence of Col. Thompson, the Secretary of the Navy. Matie says she has often attended parties and picnies there, and that his family Is as hospitable and gracious as the Colonel is handsome and famoqfti

One evening last week, if you bad been in the Opera House you mighi have seen an elderly, thin looking gentleman, accompanied by a red-haired individual with a pug nose. The first named was Uncle Ezra tbe latter, myself, We went to bear the great Joseph Cook. Matie would not go. Said she had a headache. But when we got home, about eleven o'clock, we found her entertaining a certain young gentleman that rumor says is destined to be* oome a great actor some day.

I always had a weakness for learning —In others—and so went to the lecture and enjoyed It immensely. It is not my purpose to give yon a synopsis of the lecture, for doubtless yon have read all about it in tbe papers long ago. I will simply say It wss very learned, very lengthy and very abstruse. (I have consulted the dictionary in regard to that last word, and think it will do as well as any other) I want to tell yon, though, of something connected with it which I think was real mean. A certain editor in this city feels bad because be does not live in Boston, and cannot go around tbe country lecturing. So, instead of writing a JtaUcring account of tbe affair he made all msnusr of fun of It, not only of tbe lecture bat of tbe

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personal attractions of the great Joseph himself! Said bis voice was as musical as a *aw-buck, and that be bad the grace of an elephant 1 Now wasn't that cruel Think bow Joseph must feel! This same editor is quite handsome and as graoeful as a fawn—I have seen him on tbe street—but that Is no reason he should completely annihilate poor Joseph, who lives in Boston, and who cannot help it if be wasn't born handsome as well as smar^

On Friday evening we again went to the Opera House to see the Light Guard in Romeo and Juliet. As usual we went with Uncle, our beaux not having made any desperate efforts to secure our company. Matie said that probably most of our acquaintances would be on .the stage, but I saw a number of familiar faces in the orchestra, or going out for a breath of fresh air, between tbe acts. Tbe house was well filled, and presented a brilliant appearance. Tbe gay dresoof the ladies, the glitter of jewels, the waving of myriads of fsns, and the grand music by the Ringgold orchestra all conspired to make it a scene of gayety. By tbe way, if you want to be stylish, you must wear to such places an opera turban or "fey." It is made of silk of some delicate shade and worn twisted around the hair on tbe top of the head. To most faces it is very becoming.

The performance was all that I anticipated the singing was good and the costumes lovely. Johnny Hager as Capulet was perfectly killing just to look at him was enough to set the audience to rearing. Will Morgan was splendid, and Harry Buntin was a star of the greatest magnitude. Many a girl in the audience would have been happy if she could have dressed in as good taste and worn her clothes as gracefully as did Ed Barton. Then Romeo looked as well and made love to Juliet in as natural a manner as though be did such things every day. Ed Friend's performance—I believe it was intended he should light up the stage—was real good. My only objection to it being that he did not appear often enough. In fact, each and every one did his part well, and we all went home thanking the Light Guard for a very pleasant evening. ,'v

By tbe way, one of the nicest places to spend an afternoon is at the Light Guard Armory. Their club rooms are fitted up elegantly, and nothing is left undone which can interest or amuse. Often, on the ladies' afternoons, Matie and I try our skill at tbe billiard table or in the bowling alley.

It 1B to be hoped, if the occasion ever requires, that these gentlemanly soldiers will fight as well as they do everything else. But of course they will. To be sure there were several jokes told on the boys during the late strike of tbe miners at Brazil! When it was romored that tbe Guards were to be called oat to quell tbe disturbance, it is said that one or two became suddenly ill that one hinted at resigning, and that several were really quite uneasy! However, no one can blame them! It is not at all glorious to die in such a manner. Think of having it telegraphed home to your mother, wife,or sweetheart: "Dead hit on the head with a brick by Tim O'Leary!" How much more soul-stir-ring and glorious would be tbe followiug: "Fallen, pierced through the heart by a bullet, while gallantly leading his troops to victory."

But this letter is also getting fong, and I must close. How are all tbe Okaw people Remember me to everybody, especially your friend Benjamin. When is that little affair coming off, Josephine? Yon must let me know, for I understand there are several stylish weddings in prospect here, and I may be able to give you some new ideas. jA !#•*£. INS*®.' *.,?* An revoir, 8USAN Pnvpnts.

JUDGE PATTERSON'S BUCKBOARD. Seeing in one of the papers an acoount of Judge Patterson's buckboard, I wish to say that I believe oar friend Joseph Gilbert, tbe President of the Agricultural Society has in his possession the oldest four-wheeled wagon that is to be found In tbe county of Vigo. I do not like to tell how long I have known it. I propose the President, in making the "grand rounds" of inspection of the fair next fall, bring it ont.

I am often asked in regard to who brought different articles to onr town. The first piano, I believe, was brought here by Mrs. Dr. Blake, the mother of Joseph Blake. I know by practical experience Mrs. Blake bad the first front door-bell. I first discovered that by, with boy-like curiosity, pulling the glass knob, that brought Matilda, tbe red-haired servant girl, to the door in double quick, mnch to my surprise and dismay. More hereafter.

JAS. A. MopaniT.

MARRIAGE LICENSES, Tbe following marriage licenses hare been issued since oar list report:

Elijah K. Dlily and Rose Denny. George C. Jordan and Lydia Bailey. TbemasSapp and Mary S. Watley. John Malonev and Josephine Stoneham. Jared E. Need and Louisa Beats. Thomas Wiggins and Clara E. Guymon. Henry Nlcv.-lbaugh and Hannah F. Beaochamp.

Written for The HaJl.

OUR HEROES.

This is our duty and this Is our pleasure, To lay here our offerings, oar odorous lay 0 gifts, Whose cost with these monuments vre care not to measure— They forever shall stand and forever shall treasure

What is left of our heroes. Pierce the cloud rifts. O! sentinels, and draw thence flashes electric

That shall awaken our souls, shall inspire Us who look upward with thoughts patriotic

That worthy shall make us of those Who are higher. Do this, ye who out of the stone art cunningly riven,

Stand still on your gray mossy bsses $ All solemnly, solidly built of the rock, And reflect from youi cold faces All their proud deeds—tell how they mes the last shock,

And how for us their sweet lives they have given. This is year duty—from your emotionless faces

T« tell of the partings at call of theroll« Of marchings and meetings of foes, and the biases

Of red-throated oannon, of deep gaping wounds Whose flowing no dear, tender hand cools or assuages,

Whose lips move as if speaking yet vacant of sounds— Of a sacrificed body, a sanctified sou!. That is your duty. For us there is left something sweeter.

There are flowers to gather and bind into garlands, With their sweet perfumes to mingle our kisses.

To let fall on them the uews from the star-lands. The morrow's sun snail drink up aud waft to where bliss is—

And so shall our love and our kiasss fly fleeter And reach our dear loved ones over yonder,

Whose offering supreme Is still the world's wonder. F. Decoration Day, 1879 '\''T

Feminitems.

Every woman thinks her own husband the worst. Anew caprice in evening gloves is to have them laced instead of buttoned'*

A skipping rope was placed among the flowers on Kittie B^ylan's coffin, in Clyde, O. She had died from jumping it 120 times without stopping.

A young lady was heard to remark a day or two ago, "Why, I haven't had a woolen hoe on my limb this winter.*' That's culchah.—Gonoord Monitor

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Ninth Year

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Some vile traducer says that a month before marriage and a month after her death, men regard wives as an angels. Of the remaining time he has nothing, to say.

The wives of President Hays, Secretary Evarts and Secretary Thompson have joined a summer school of cookery opened In Washington by Miss Juliet Corson.

A man owes his success in his life work to tbe woman who walks beside him.—[Yonkers Gazette.] More likely to the woman who walks behind him and pushes him ahead.

And still the missionary cause waxes stronger. New Bedford has a clever young lady worth a million of dollars, and of a "rather pious turn of mind," who made up her mind that she would be a missionary. Could anything be more beautiful? The church accepted her service, snd, when asked what field of labor she bad in view, she pensively looked down at her lavender gloves and replied, "I think I will go to Paris."

An old lady from a country town in Sonth Carolina, visiting her niece in New York, went into a shoe store with tbe latter, who desired to purchase a pair of shoes. The old lady looked on with amazement while the clerk took. off tbe old and put on tbe new boots, but when be began to lace up the latter, and proceeded slowly and caressingly toward the top, the good sunt became frantic, and, drawing ber "umborell," she dealt the young man a powerful blow over the head, following it up by repeated hammerings and punchings, until he rushed wildly forth into the street, while the rest of tbe olerks overpowered and disarmed tbe wrathy old countrywoman.

Sarah Cope land, of Union Springs, Ala., Is in a grievous predicament. She says that she is partly of negro descent,, and thither white fellow citizens, regarding her as of mixed blood, refuse to associate with her. Discarded byjtbe whites, she sought the society ef the colored race, and became tbe.wife of a negro named James Ivey. Now th» whites who had declined to recognize her as a Caucasian declare that she baa violated the law prohibiting the intermarriage of races, and she has beei* arrested and indicted. Sarah complains that it was not fair to turn her away aa having a negro taint, and then to prosecute her for assuming tbe marriage relation with a member of the negro race.' She Is not the only woman in the Sontb whose share of negro blood is so small as to be hardly discernible, and who may oome within the legal definition of a white person, and yet Is socially regarded and treated as of negro extraction. What is to beoome of such women? White men will not marry them* and, as in the case of Sarah, if they marry negroes they are consigned to tb» penitentiary.

IMPORTANT IF TR UE. ind. News. Now that times are getting better, perhaps fewer men will go into tbe of-fice-seeking business to make livings.

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